A Touch of Hope
by FantasyLiving94
Summary: Anastasia Steele, a 21 year old College graduate struggling to figure out what to do with her life after graduating. When a brand new and unexpected opportunity arises, it leads her down so many varying paths. Which one will she take? Who will she meet along the way? Will the secrets of love and hope conquer? Will she make the right decisions? Only you can find out!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1…

"Hey…uh, where are you? I thought you were picking me up for my first day of work?"

"Oh…Ana..I…sorry I forgot…"

"Who's that?"I ask questionably when I hear a female voice in the background.

"Shhh…" I hear Jack mutter and I hear the female giggle through the speaker.

"Who the hell is that?!" I grit my teeth together. He's doing it again.

"No one babe…I…"

"Are you kidding me right now? Are you with another girl?"

"I…Ana…I can explain…"

"It's over Jack, enjoy yourself," I say as calmly as I can before hanging up.

Once the phone has gone dead and I quickly switch it off before he can even attempt to call me back, the tears start to prick my eyes.

What an asshole.

Jack and I have been dating for about 7 months now, he's cheated on me once before. I caught him, there and then in the car lot of his workplace. He vowed and promised to never do it again but here we are.

I'm pretty positive it's been so many more times but It's rare to catch him out.

He always pressured me into sleeping with him, but I never allowed it. He always got super annoyed with me because I would never put out for him, but I guess when he found it elsewhere he became content with me being the doormat, the pushover, the stupid girlfriend.

How could I have been so stupid!

I have wasted so many months of my life.

Something always felt off but as my mother has always said. Life isn't a fairytale. Life is cruel and you have to live with it. There's no prince charming in this world. No one is going to come and save me. No one is going to come along on a galloping horse dressed in shining armor. I have to take what I'm given and deal with it.

Same as she's dealt with the four marriages since my real Dad died. Because she's happy right?

Clearly not. I scoff to myself.

But I'm not dealing with that.

I've been so stupid! So completely and utterly stupid.

I am so so done. I won't be anyone's safe choice or easy choice or doormat.

I'd rather be forever alone than put up with that.

I start a new job today. Today of all days how could he!

I'm so lost, I'm so unhappy.

The tears sting my eyes even more.

I have no idea which path in life to take, I have no idea where or what I'm supposed to do.

Books have always been my favorite thing in the world and that allowed me to major in English Literature at College.

But what do I do now?

Now I've graduated, what am I supposed to do?

Where can that take me?

I've been in such a deep dark hole I've found it really hard to cope lately, I've been so grateful for my step Dad Ray though, he's been amazing.

Luckily for me, the college offered me a teaching assistant course on the side, while I studied English Lit as my major. I took the opportunity because I had no clue what I wanted to do anyway, and figured, at least it's extra experience right?

I ended up passing it with flying colors. It was a pretty decent course too.

Well, it definitely paid off because luckily enough, My Dad's best friend, Jeremy, had managed to speak to his wife who is one of the head teachers of the school, and she has willingly enrolled me to work at the Kindergarten section of the school. The only extra thing I needed was a police check which I ended up getting immediately after meeting with Candice about the job.

I was ever so grateful and even bought her some flowers and chocolates to say thank you.

I wipe my tears away from my cheeks at the thought of Jack.

Come on Ana, he was a jackass.

Time to move on.

Today is a brand new start.

A new life, a new beginning, a new start.

I rush back into my house to make sure my mascara hasn't run and I apply a little more concealer to rid my red under eyes.

"Annie? Is everything okay? Is Jack here?" My Dad calls up the stairs when he hears me rushing back into the house.

I make my way down, biting my lip trying to control the tears stinging my eyes.

"I broke up with Jack, he was with another girl….and…" I try to fight back the tears.

"I'll kill him.." He frowns angrily and I shake my head moving over to him. He would actually kill him too, but I don't want that, he doesn't deserve the attention.

"He's not worth it Dad. I broke it off and it's over…." I say sadly.

"Awww, Annie…." He sighs moving to me and wraps his arms around me comforting, "I never liked him anyway sweetheart, he was a bad one and you can do so so much better" He sighs sadly kissing the top of my head.

"I know, I wish I listened to you, I think I knew deep down it would have never worked, I'm actually relieved it's over….I just hate how much time I've wasted"

"You're only 21 Ana, You have your whole life ahead of you sweetheart…you can do so much better…you have a great new start today okay? Keep that beautiful head of yours up and proud, Because I am so proud of you" He kisses my forehead making me sniffle slightly.

"Thanks, Dad…"

"How are you getting in today?"

"Well Jack was meant to take me and my car is in the garage, so I figured I'd just take the bus now…" I shrug sadly.

"I'll take you come on, I'll just grab my coat"

"You're the best" I hug him tightly and I finally feel my lips curl into a smile I haven't felt in a long time.

I feel free, I feel like today could end up being a good day.

I am so completely and utterly nervous about my first day, but hopefully, things will go much smoother than what my mind is currently cursing me with. All the overthinking and negative thoughts spiraling through my brain.

I always think the worst-case scenario. I always have done.

What if the people there don't like me?

What if I'm terrible at the job?

What if a child starts to cry?

Like, what am I supposed to do?

But I'm sure it'll all be okay.

I have my certification for it, I passed with a high grade. So I'm sure it'll be fine.

I've always known books have been my passion. writing and reading are things I've done since I was knee-high to a grasshopper as my Dad says to me. It always makes me laugh. But I never knew where it could take me. I've never really known what I've wanted to do with my life, but maybe, helping with the children at school, I can find a path and a passion that will allow me to continue into my future and accomplish something.

I climb into my Dad's car and he drives me to the Kindergarten I'll be working at for the next 8 months.

I'm so nervous but excited at the same time.

"Good luck Annie, the kids are going to love you" He smiles and squeezes my hand.

I nod as my hands shake a little nervously.

"Thanks, Dad" I smile before climbing out of the car and making my way up to the Reception for my first day.

"Anastasia, Hey!" Jeremy's wife comes up the corridor already spying me before I reach the desk.

"Hey Candice, how are you?"

"I'm great thank you, all excited for your first day?"

"Yes! And a little nervous" I admit smiling.

"Oh, you'll be fine! So I've scheduled you in for the Pre K and Kindergarten class okay? They're 4-6-year-olds and we have some new arrivals today too…"

"Okay…perfect" I smile brightly as I nod listening to her.

"There are 15 children in the class, it's not very big so it's nice and chill…we tend to play games, read stories, the alphabet, numbers…that kind of stuff… and they have nap time between 12 and 1"

"Perfect" I nod as she hands me pieces of paper to sign.

"So we already have your certification from the college and I already have your police check too, so we just need your bank details and you're all set, I'll show you down to the classroom"

"Perfect, thanks Candice, I honestly can't thank you enough for this," I say as I start filling in all the details.

"Oh it's no problem at all, I'm honored to have you here really, I have some good faith in you…you're so bubbly and fun, the children are going to love you"

That makes my heart beat a little faster, no one except my Dad has really said they have faith in me. My Mom, in her way I guess, but she's never said it directly.

Candice takes me down to the first classroom and introduces me to Mrs. Morgan, or Elizabeth out of the ears of the children, the main teacher in the classroom.

We get along amazingly.

She talks me through what we'll be doing today. Hour by hour schedule for the children.

She tells me the children will call us Mrs and Miss, Morgan and Steele and we should call each other the same in front of the children too.

She then talks me through the names and faces of them so I can try to learn their names before they arrive in the next 30 minutes.

She also informs me of a certain little boy who is accompanied by security that remains in the classroom for protection reasons.

Well, that sounds….Interesting?

She leaves me with the folder as I gaze through the profiles of the children.

"Ana? They're starting to arrive" Mrs. Morgan smiles at me.

"Yes Mrs. Morgan," I say standing and I make my way over to her, She laughs softly nodding and opens the doors.

I stand beside her greeting the children coming in.

Some of them filled with tears as they leave their parents, some of them running in excitedly. I'm assuming they are the ones that have been here before.

Then I notice a little copper headed boy walking away from a middle-aged woman, he doesn't seem bothered to say goodbye to her, he doesn't seem fazed about going into the classroom. I notice how he carries a little blanket inside with him. His eyes a piercing grey color, he's so adorable. Behind him, a man, dressed all in black with a earpiece follows him inside.

This must be the security guy.

I say hi, hello, or hey…to all the children walking inside, but this one seems a little different to the others, he seems, distant, reserved.

No crying when he left the woman, I wonder if she was his mother? Or grandmother?

No excitement either.

And the man walking behind him? Seems a little intimidating.

I kneel down when he walks in and I smile trying to introduce myself, "Hi sweetheart…".

He looks at me with a blank face.

I smile softly at him and he just stands there staring at me.

Well, this is awkward. What am I supposed to do?

They didn't teach me this in College.

He looks up to the intimidating man and he seems to give him a small smile and a nod before the little guy runs off to the corner with his little blanket and pulls out a book.

He likes books…

Hmm…

That's interesting.

"Don't fret too much, he rarely talks to me either…" Mrs. Morgan comforts me when the little guy runs away. "He's very reserved…. his family life is a little up in the air at the moment and he's just a shy little thing…He doesn't open up or speak to many people".

Mrs. Morgan smiles putting her hand on my shoulder before she makes her way to the front of the class.

"Okay, everyone! Good Morning! My name is Mrs. Morgan as most of you already know….but we'd like to welcome all the new children here today….. We also have a new teacher here with us, she's very fun and loves reading, her name is Miss Steele!" She smiles pointing to the back of the class where I'm standing and I watch as all the heads and eyes turn looking at me. Big toothy grins and excitable hand waves.

I giggle softly waving back at everyone, "Hey everyone!" I smile brightly.

"Shall we start with some sing songs?!" Mrs. Morgan says excitedly.

Even the children that entered the classroom filled with tears start joining in with Mrs. Morgan, singing and dancing, laughing and giggling.

But not that one little guy…

My eyes stay on him and he stands awkwardly at the back of the classroom.

I kind of feel bad for him, he seems so shy bless him.

I move beside him and I kneel about 3 feet away from him, not to scare him.

"Hi sweetheart… do you not like to sing?"

He looks to me clutching his little blanket and the book he picked up just a few minutes ago. He watches me for a moment before answering with a shake of his head.

"Aww, well that's okay…would you maybe like to come and sit here with me and continue reading the book you have?" I point down to the book in his hand and his gaze follows mine to the book.

He waits a moment as if he's thinking.

His eyes finally look back up when he gives me a small nod and moves a little closer to me.

Well, this is a good start.

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New story! What do we think so far?

I have so many ideas for this story, it's going to be full of emotion and roller coaster rides!

I hope you all stay tuned with me on this one, I promise it's not going to be a boring one!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2…

He follows me over to the small comfy chairs, still clutching his little blanket close to him.

I kneel on the floor smiling and he looks to me, then he looks to the chairs and moves to sit in the blue one.

I smile softly at him, thinking he's just going to want me to sit here while he reads it, but….he actually surprises me.

His little hand reaches out with the book and offers it to me.

"Cans you wead it to me?" His voice is so soft, so small, so quiet.

My heart melts a little at his sentence.

What an adorable little guy.

My lips curl into a bigger smile as I nod and carefully takes the book from his little fingers. His little grey eyes glistening as he looks at me.

"Of course I can sweetheart… do you like to read?" I smile daring to make more conversation with him, but I only receive a nod this time.

Maybe more conversation is for another time, I dare not push my luck right now. I've managed to get 6 little words out of him so far, hopefully, he'll start to trust me more when he gets to know me better.

I read over the cover and smiles "Where's Spot?" I say and giggles softly.

"My Dad used to read this to me too" I smile at the little guy sitting in front of me, who is simply looking and watching me.

I smile and starts to read.

"Naughty spot, it's dinner time where can he be?

Is he behind the door?" I say as I pull open the door to see a bear holding a honey pot.

"No, not here!"

I watch him get a little more curious and he sits up a little, raising his head more to try and look at the pictures.

The rest of the children singing and dancing in the background.

"Is he inside the clock? No, he's not in here!" I smile continuing to read and I'm surprised when I feel a little movement beside me.

He's moved from his chair and is now sitting beside me, his little hand reaching up to the book and pulling it down a little so he can see better.

My smile grows completely when he does.

Mrs. Morgan said he rarely talks or interacts with anyone, so this must be a big step for him.

Maybe he just needed someone who understands him.

He loves his books, he loves the quiet, he doesn't like dancing or singing or gaining attention.

He reminds me a lot like myself. Sometimes it just takes someone to give that little extra.

Make them feel safe, and cared about.

She also mentioned his family life is a little up in the air at the moment. I must admit I am a little curious.

As I continue to read the book, he gains a little more confidence and starts opening the doors himself which I'm so proud of him for.

I continue watching him, with each new page turn, he does more and more.

"Try the basket!" The little tortoise says and I turn the page. There's a picnic basket on the next page and he takes great pride in opening it up excitedly.

"There he is!" I smile brightly when he opens it, revealing spot the dog.

I hear a little giggle escape his lips and I look down at him and he's smiling.

It's the first time I've seen him smile all morning.

"Good boy spot, eat up your dinner" I finish the story and he smiles softly and takes the book from my hands closing it up.

"Did you enjoy that?"

He nods and finally looks up at me before moving to get his blanket that he left on the chair.

His little legs take him back over to the bookshelf.

I giggle watching him.

"Wow… he must really like you" Mrs. Morgan makes her way over to me once she's finished with the other children and declared free playtime.

"I..it was nothing…really…" I smile softly.

"Trust me, it was something…that's a big step for him... seems like you're a natural" She smiles putting her hand on my shoulder before making her way around the classroom checking on all the children.

My first day went absolutely swimmingly.

I completely and utterly loved it.

Everything happens for a reason and maybe, just maybe, this is my path for the future now.

Once school was over, I make my way home to have dinner with my Dad.

The next morning I head to the garage to pick up my car finally able to drive myself back and forth to work every morning now.

The rest of the week flies by….All the children are always begging me to play with them, and I even managed to make more conversation with Theodore. He told me his name and his age but that's where it ended.

Before I know it, it's already Friday.

My phone has been ringing on and off for the last 4 days with Jack's name. Trying to grovel back I suppose, but my week has gone so amazingly, I don't want him to ruin it, so I haven't answered.

I've received text messages like:

_'Ana please pick up, can we at least talk?' _

_'Ana, please, let's work things out? I can explain' _

_'Ana, I miss you babe, please give me one more chance'_

I've ignored every single text and phonecall. I don't want to think about him anymore.

My first week at Kindergarten has been completely and utterly amazing. The children are so happy and caring and they're always asking me to play with them, or read them stories or help them with their finger paintings.

Mrs. Morgan and I have gotten along amazingly too, she seems really impressed with me which I'm glad about.

It's Friday and it's almost home time for the children. I can't believe how quick the week has gone already. I'm going around the classroom cleaning up after free time while Mrs. Morgan reads them their last story of the day.

As I'm picking up the lego blocks, I notice a movement in front of me and I notice it's little Theodore.

I re-read through children's profiles every day and I think I finally have all their names engraved into my memories.

He's handing me a lego block like he's helping me clean up.

"Thank you sweetheart… that's very helpful of you"

He nods and kneels down to get another one.

I watch him curiously and looks over to where Mrs. Morgan is still reading the story.

"Did you not like the story?"I smile curiously, watching him pick up another lego block.

He simply nods.

Hmm…

How can I handle this?

I think for a moment before I hear his sweet little voice.

"Wots you weal name?"

He's a curious little thing too huh?

I smile.

"Miss Steele"

He shakes his head looking at me.

"Dat's not you name"

"It is" I smile softly but he shakes his head again.

Where's he going with this?

"Nope! My Daddy is Mr. Gwey…but his weal name is Chwistian"

Oh, …he's a clever little thing too.

Great.

I don't want to lose the trust I've developed with him, so I simply smile at him and nods.

How can I handle this…

Hmm…

"Well, you're right, I do have a real name..but in school, everyone has to call me Miss Steele, even Mrs. Morgan has to… is that okay with you?" I say softly. I try to approach this as delicately as I can.

He thinks about it for a moment but simply nods.

"Wills you tell me one day?"

"Maybe one day sweetheart"

I smile at him and to my surprise, his own little lips curl into a small smile too and he simply nods. Before he continues helping me to finish clearing the blocks.

He's such an adorable and sweet little boy.

"Okay children, lets head to the door to grab your bags and coats ready for home time!" Mrs. Morgan says smiling brightly.

I look over to her and she's smiling sweetly at me, looking between Theodore and I. She's really impressed with the way I've been working with him and how much he's opened up to me.

All the other children squeal excitedly and rush over to the door except little Theodore. He remains at my side and follows me over.

Mrs. Morgan opens the door and most of the children rush out to their parents.

I kneel down to little Theodore with his jacket and smiles helping him to put it on.

Then handing him his little backpack.

"Cans I come wiv you Miss Stweele?"

"Come where sweetheart?" I smile.

"Home"

He says looking at me seriously, I look up to Mrs. Morgan who holds a slightly sad and empathetic emotion in her facial expression.

"Awww I'm sorry sweetheart, but I'll see you in school on Monday okay?"

He simply nods. I see the sadness in his eyes and his body language.

My heart pains for this little guy.

I sigh sadly and stands moving back beside Mrs Morgan.

Then the voice I hear next is one that makes my blood cringe.

A high pitched, posh, high maintenanced screech.

"Theodore! Come on!"

I look through the door to see a young woman stood there.

Her dark brown curls cascading down her shoulders. Her fake nails are clearly visible and clearly expensive.

Her whole demeanor screaming Prada and designer clothes.

Her sunglasses covering the majority of her face as she stares down at the iPhone in her hand.

Mrs. Morgan looks to me with a 'knowing' expression.

Little Theodore makes his way out of the door and she literally pays no mind to him.

He looks back to us and it honestly breaks my heart watching him go.

The intimidating security guard makes his way past us and follows him out and moving into the Audi with him.

At least the security is there for him I guess.

"I haven't seen her pick him up before…" I say as Mrs. Morgan closes the door.

"She's on the approved list for Friday's only…she's his Mom…"

"Oh…" I bite my lip.

"Yeah, …she's a piece of work…I don't know all the details, but the Dad takes Theodore Monday to Friday, then she picks him up on Friday and I'm not sure how long she has him for…"

"I haven't seen the Dad around here either…is he the same?" I say as we both rush around the classroom finishing the cleanup.

"No, he's actually a decent human being, I've met him a couple of times…..her on the other hand, I really don't like her. I'm really glad he's opened up to you Ana because I dread every Friday letting him leave with her honestly."

I nod in agreement, "She does seem like a bit of a…."

"Bitch?" She says making me laugh and I nod.

"That's one way to put it I suppose" we both laugh a little more.

"So who's the woman that's brought him to school and picked him up all week?" I ask curiously.

"Honestly? I'm not entirely sure, she's on the approved list….Her name is Gail Jones… but I'm not sure of the association"

"Oh…I see…"

We continue our clean up and once we're done, I make my way home.

As soon as I pull up into my driveway my phone starts to ring.

It's Kate.

It's Friday…

Oh no…

She's going to beg me to go out with her I just know it.

I slide my thumb across the screen answering.

"Hey, Kate!"

"Ana! We are going out tonight!"

"Kate no…"

"Ana…Yes! You finally broke it off with that Jackass! You've got a new job! We have to celebrate! Please! come on…it's Friday, we'll just go to a simple bar, Jose is coming too!"

I really want to say no, but she's right. I do have things to celebrate. My life seems a little brighter today compared to 5 days ago.

"Just a bar right? A couple of drinks!"

"Yes yes…come on Ana…you know you want to, I haven't seen you in almost two weeks! " She says smugly.

"Fine, Fine…what time?" I laugh softly.

"Yes! Perfect, I'll come over at 7" She says excitedly making me laugh.

My Dad is away working this weekend, he has a conference with his business which means I have the house to myself until Sunday.

I head to the shower and gets myself clean and fed before awaiting Kate and Jose's arrival.

As soon as Kate gets here, I already know she's going to cover me in makeup.

I'm mentally preparing myself beforehand.

I search through my closet looking for something to wear.

I have nothing because I don't go out very often.

Remind me again why I agreed to this?

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3…

"You don't have anything to wear, do you?" Kate smirks standing in my doorway watching me fluster through my closet.

"Urcchhh nope!"

She laughs and puts a bag onto my bed.

"I brought some stuff over for you, I know you too well" She smiles and moves to jump onto the bed beside the bag, getting herself comfy.

"Thanks, Kate, you're the best" I smile unzipping it open and gazing through the garments.

They are all very…very…not me.

But we're going out, right? I have to make an effort.

I gaze through the dresses and outfits but the dresses all seem far too revealing for my liking.

Then I pull out a jumpsuit.

It's fancy, a little revealing at the neck and chest line, but the way it would hug against my curves is definitely something I could wear out tonight and still feel a little like myself.

"I knew you'd pick that" Kate smirks watching me, "It'll look amazing on you and it shows a little Boob too" She winks giggling as she moves to pour us both a glass of wine.

A little boob?

What does that even mean?

I roll my eyes laughing and heads into the bathroom to change.

Wow.

This jumpsuit really is amazing.

I gaze at myself in the mirror and I hardly recognize that it's even my body.

The thin straps holding up the fabric over my shoulders, letting the material cascade down with a long 'V' shape in the front going down and landing below my breast line, allowing the inner curves of my breasts on show.

That's what Kate meant when she said it shows a little boob.

There's gold shimmer lining the black fabric, highlighting the perkiness of my chest.

The suit manages to pull in and line the middle showing off my curved waist and then the pants section, flows down my legs.

The black fabric making me look even slimmer than usual.

What an absolute beautiful outfit.

I make my way out not knowing Jose has just arrived and Kate let him in.

"Wow…Ana…shit…" His eyes widen and his jaw almost hits the floor.

"Hey, Jose" I smile brightly moving to him, hugging him in greeting but I think he's gobsmacked.

No one has ever seen me this dressed up since prom.

"Damn Ana, you look…Wow… you are totally pulling a guy tonight" Kate grins handing me a glass.

"No! No! No men tonight…not after Jack…I'm staying single" I laugh before downing the glass.

I think I'm going to need a few more of those to feel a little more relaxed and actually enjoy my night.

"Do you want me to your makeup?" Kate smiles moving to her makeup bag as she touches up her own makeup.

"Please" I smile and she nods excitedly.

"That's the first time you've ever agreed!"

I laugh nodding, I knew I wouldn't have had a choice anyway.

"I'll do your makeup then I'll get dressed" She smiles and starts her artistic work on my face.

She absolutely loves dolling me up.

She takes to my eyes, doing a smokey-eyed, gold glow to match the gold lining of the jumpsuit. She takes to my face adding a foundation and powder that gives me a little color. She goes to my lips giving me a bright red plumpness and she assures me it's waterproof so won't come off when I drink.

That's perfect.

"There you go! You're all done!" Kate says proudly as she edges me to move to the mirror to look at myself.

Oh, shit.

I look over my appearance and I hardly recognize myself.

I actually do look pretty amazing.

"Thankyou Kate, it's amazing!"

"You look hot as fuck Ana" Kate grins.

Jose simply coughs awkwardly when I catch his gaze making me laugh.

He must feel so awkward being the only guy. Although I'm surprised Kate hasn't tried to apply makeup to him too.

"Okay, my turn! Have me another drink ready when I come out!" She says rushing into the bathroom taking her outfit.

I giggle watching her go and moves to pour us all another drink.

I hand Jose a glass and he smiles taking it as I move to sit next to him.

"So how are you doing? Your art expo is soon right?"

He smiles nodding, "Yeah…next weekend, you're still coming right?"

"Yeah of course I am!"

"Good! It wouldn't be the same without you…" he smiles softly sipping his drink and I do the same, "How was your first week at the school?"

"Oh Jose, it's been amazing…really really amazing. I've loved every day so far… The children are so fun and kind and loving… they love to play and listen to stories and I think I'm going to really enjoy a future there"

"That's amazing Ana, I'm so happy and proud of you"

I smile brightly and I hug him gently from the side, "Thanks Jose".

He smiles and carefully hugs me back.

"So you and Jack broke up?"

I nod rolling my eyes, "Finally, I don't why I didn't listen to you all…he really was a jackass and he's long gone!"

"Good…you could do so much better Ana honestly, he's a dick"

I nod agreeing and holds my glass up to him, "I'll drink to that" I say making him laugh and we clink our glasses together downing both glasses.

I pour us both another one and Kate emerges from the bathroom in a beautiful tight red dress.

"Wow Kate…you look amazing," I say standing and hands her, her drink.

"Thanks" She grins and twirls.

She's such a confident character, I wish I had some of it honestly.

She's absolutely beautiful.

"You both look beautiful" Jose smiles at us, making both of our lips curl up into bright smiles.

We continue to drink and drink and I already feel my head getting a little woozy.

Pre drinks they call it. Getting drunk before you go out I think is just a sign of a bad night, but I'm finding I'm enjoying myself so far.

"Okay, so the taxi is gonna be here any minute! Are We Ready?" Kate says grabbing her clutch, I grab my own while putting my heels on.

"Ready!" I grin a little tipsy.

"I'm good," Jose says, not needing a bag and he stands in the doorway watching Kate and I fumble around the room making sure we both have everything.

The taxi beeps from outside and we all make our way down.

"Okay so..are we still only doing a pub? Or shall we head to a club?" Kate smirks knowingly.

Well, I'm already drunk and honestly? I do kind of feel like dancing now.

"I'm easy" Jose replies.

"Ana?"

"Oh stuff it, let's go to a club!" I say smiling.

"Yes! I already put our names on a list… perks of having a Kavanagh name" She winks grinning and tells the taxi driver where to go.

We arrive at a club called, Trinity.

"Kate Kavanagh," Kate says walking up through the VIP entrance. The intimidating security guard reminds me of someone.

Oh yeah…the intimidating security guard that stands in the classroom for that adorable little guy.

It's not him though, but now my mind starts running with thoughts of little Theodore.

Is he okay?

What is up with his mother?

Why is she such a bitch?

Where was his father?

What is even going on there?

I feel so sorry for the little guy.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Jose takes my hands and I watch him curiously. He laughs at my reaction.

"They have to put a VIP band on you" He laughs more and I look down to my wrist watching the intimidating man tie a bright green band around my wrist.

"Oh…thanks" I laugh awkwardly, wow I am a little drunk.

We make our way inside and it's a little fancy. The music is playing, the chandeliers glisten from the ceiling. The red decor is absolutely beautiful.

"Come on, let's grab some drinks!" Kate says excitedly pulling us both towards the bar.

"What can I get you beautiful ladies" The barman grins eyeing up between me and Kate.

Poor Jose.

"I'll take a double vodka and coke with a tequila… actually, …make that 3 lots of both" Kate grins looking at me and Jose.

Oh, I'm going to die tonight.

We make our way over to a nearby table and we take our shots and then continue on our double vodka's.

I am feeling so tipsy right now, I'm not used to so much alcohol.

A man walking around with a huge tray filled with shots stops by our table.

"I'll do you 6 for $10"

"DEAL!" Kate squeals excitedly and Jose and I look at each other as if to say, I'll see you on the other side.

Jose hands over the money grinning, "This one is on me!".

The guy puts down all 6 shots and we all look at each other.

"Here's to old jack asses and new beginnings" I grin gesturing to my two drinks.

"Here's to future hotties and good sex"

Oh my gosh, Kate, I burst into laughter as she gestures to her two shots.

"Here's to you two beautiful ladies, I'm honored to have you as friends," Jose says gesturing to his drinks and then to me Kate.

"Awwww Jose" I smile brightly.

"You're such a cutie Jose" Kate smiles and we all hug before lifting out first shot then downing it.

Then lifting our second and downing it.

My face turns sour.

Oh my goodness, I am so goners.

I move my hand to my mouth closing my eyes as I feel the liquid burn all the way down, I have no idea what those were, but they were vile!

I quickly pick up my vodka and coke and sips through the straw as I attempt to rid the burning taste suffocating my throat.

"Oh…. look at him" Kate smirks nudging me, "3 o clock" She gestures and twirls her straw seductively as she starts fluttering her flirty eyes.

I look to where her eyes are fixated and there are two males, sitting in a booth with what seems to be two beers, both dressed in suit pants and shirts.

I raise my eyebrow as the mousy hair colored one is giving the eyes right back to Kate.

"He keeps looking at you" Kate gestures to the second guy.

I look over to them and to my surprise, our eyes end up meeting. They are piercing and enticing.

But no.

Not tonight…

Not after Jack, I am done with guys for a while.

"I'm going to go and dance, come with me!" She begs and I roll my eyes.

"Come on Jose! Let's go!"

Kate grabs my hand and I grab Jose's as we make our way into the middle of the dance floor.

Kate spins me around and dances seductively against my back. I know exactly what she's doing, flirting and making eyes with the guy as she shows off her moves.

I dance with her for the fun, laughing and giggling as Jose stands beside us laughing at our drunken attempts. I look up and again, the guy is looking at me, but when I catch him, he looks away.

"Hey, we got one each, I think they're brothers" She whispers against my ear and I laugh shaking my head.

"Not for me tonight, but you can go and make your move" I wink at her approvingly.

"Oh come on Ana…look at them, they're both hot!"

"Only if you're into…that sort…of human"

"That sort of human? You mean the hot kind? Live a little Steele!" She kisses my cheek before she twirls and suddenly ends up into the arms of the mousy colored haired guy.

His eyes are bright and Kate goes into flirtatious mode almost immediately.

I watch his hands move to her waist, I watch her hands move to his shoulders and before I know it, they're holding each other close, dancing as people dance these days.

I look back to where he was originally standing but the guy that was with him has gone.

Oh well…

I laugh softly before looking to Jose.

"Are you okay?" He leans closer and I nod handing him my empty glass.

"I'm gunna…I'm gonna go pee!"

Wow, I feel entirely drunk.

And honestly? Even a little sick.

My head is spinning.

He nods smiling and moves back to our table as I make my way through the club trying to find the bathroom.

I head into the ladies and into a cubicle.

Oh wow…

I feel even worse in here.

I feel my stomach churning with the amount of alcohol I've consumed in such a short period of time.

I feel like I need to be sick but nothing comes out.

I quickly pee, then fumbles against the latch on the door trying to let myself out.

I wash my hands and looks at myself in the mirror.

I absolutely love the way I look tonight, or at least I did before the alcohol made my appearance blurry.

I head out and walks along the dark corridor making my way back into the club life before a long arm pushes in front of me stopping my movements.

"I knew it was you…Damn Ana…you looking fucking amazing tonight".

That voice.

His familiar smell.

Why…Why…Why.

I turn and presses my back against the wall, mainly to steady myself.

"Jack?! wh-what are…what are you doing here?!" I slur a little.

Wow, these heels are also killing me.

He's also blurry.

"The guys wanted to come here… but…I thought it was you, but I barely recognized you…fuck…you look sexy as fuck" He leans a little closer. "Why haven't you answered my calls or texts?"

"Because it's over Jack… you cheated on me and I'm not taking it"

"Oh, babe…keep dressing like this and I'll never cheat on you ever again…please give me another chance" His fingertips start to trail up my leg, between my thigh.

What the hell?!

No!

I raise my hands and tries to push him back away from me, but the alcohol makes me stumble a little and he doesn't budge.

"Get off me, Jack!" I slap his hand away from my thigh, then I lift my hand in an attempt to slap him across the face but he grabs my wrist.

Oh…no…

"Oh, Ana…you know you want to…come on… you miss me, just admit it!" He smirks and pushes me hard against the wall.

I gasp out at the movement.

I start to panic, my heart picking up an unnatural pace.

"…I think the lady said No…so why don't you run along and leave her alone?"

A voice comes out of nowhere.

A low, husky, sexy voice. I think to myself.

Sexy? Wow, I am definitely drunk.

Who even says that? Or think it in my case.

"And who the fuck are you?"

"Someone who clearly treats women better than you do"

I look to the guy.

Oh gosh, it's him. The one from the booth next to the dance floor.

He looks even hotter up close.

My eyes rake his white shirt, making me bite my lip slightly.

"Oh do me a favor and fuck off…she's my girlfriend okay, mine…keep on walking dick"

Wait!

What?

Oh, no…no way!

"I'm not his girlfriend…."I scoff ripping my wrist out of his grasp. "Not anymore!"

"Oh come on Ana…lighten up for fuck sake!" Jack says with an annoyed tone.

"I think you should lighten up mate, the lady said no, she clearly doesn't want you…keep moving"

"And what the fuck do you know about what she wants?" Jack is starting to get angry, I can tell.

"Do you want to go with him?" The guy looks at me and I look at him.

Our eyes meet for the third time tonight. His eyes, so piercing, so bright, so enticing and mysterious.

I shake my head.

With the shake of my head, the guy moves beside me, moving closer.

It's almost comforting.

I feel a sense of protection.

I feel safe somehow.

My eyes gaze over his body, his muscles, his toned buff arms, and shoulders.

He definitely works out.

Clearly, he intimidates Jack, because he finally moves away from me, giving me my space back.

Thank goodness.

Jack looks at me rolling his eyes, "You know what? Fuck this…you're welcome to her mate, she's a fucking prude anyway… good luck getting any from her" Jack storms off annoyed as hell.

Oh well, not my problem anymore.

I can't tell if it's the alcohol or if it's from the embarrassment of his prude remark, but my cheeks glow and radiate a bright red...

Although, it could be due to both.

What an asshole.

I hate him, I actually hate him.

I lean against the wall, but the guy doesn't go anywhere.

I thought he would have left by now, but I feel his gaze on me.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod slightly but my heels betray me causing me to stumble.

His hand moving to my waist helping to steady me and I feel as if my whole body has been electrocuted from his touch.

My head snaps up quickly and he's close. Really close.

"Th-Thankyou…" I say nervously as we look at one another.

Our bodies almost touching as he holds me steady.

He looks down at where his hand is rested and awkwardly removes it from my waist.

"Sorry…I didn't mean…"

"It's okay… I.. thankyou" I gently brush my hair behind my ear and I look down blushing as he takes a step back.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again.

I nod.

Am I?

I don't know.

"Yeah…I think…I think I might just find my friends and head home"

"I think one of your friends is with my brother…and if I know my brother, he won't be coming home tonight" He chuckles slightly.

"And If I know my friend, she won't be coming home either" I laugh softly and we both find ourselves looking back at each other.

His face is so, handsome, so…so…I don't even know the words. But Kate was right, He is hot.

Maybe I am into that sort of human after all.

"I can take you home if you need to..I'll be leaving soon anyway"

"Haven't you been drinking?" I ask curiously but he shakes his head.

"I don't drink" He smiles, "Elliot, My brother…he begged me to come tonight…Apparently, I don't get out enough and he needed a wingman"

I laugh at that.

"You're not going to kidnap and kill me, are you? You're definitely not a serial killer?"

"Not today" He smirks making me blush and giggle again.

"Christian…" He holds out his hand.

"Ana…"

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So what we did think so far?

This story is already turning into one of my favorites and I'm only 3 chapters in! So many more twists and turns on its way!

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers so far!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4…

"No! Not a chance…" I roll my eyes walking through my apartment.

"Oh come on bro…please? We haven't been out in so long! You never go out anymore!"

"That's because I have Teddy….my partying days are over" I laugh.

Teddy most definitely was a surprise and he changed so much in my life and in so many ways, but I wouldn't change him for the world.

I changed my life to love him, to be able to be there for him. I've never loved anyone until him. Not properly.

I only wish things had been different.

I wish his mother was different.

"You don't have Teddy on Fridays you have no excuses" Elliot smirks.

"You're right, but when he's with her, I need to be ready in case he needs me. I don't like her having him as it is…If I get drunk and something happens I'll never forgive myself"

"Then just don't drink…" He grins. "Drive me, stay for a little while…act as my wingman…then you can come home alone, and I'll go home with a girl…win-win for the both of us" He smirks punching me in the arm.

I roll my eyes at his words, "You'll settle down and grow up one day Elliot".

"Me?! Never!" He laughs grabbing my jacket and throwing it at my chest. "Go and get your shit, and let's go to your car".

I roll my eyes.

I'm so worried about Teddy, I hate every Friday when he's not with me.

It's the only night of the week he isn't here and knowing how she is…I don't trust her, and I don't trust her to look after him.

But luckily, I have Taylor with him. My first security, the one I trust the most. The first sign of any problems, I'll be notified.

My phone is fully charged, I won't drink and I'll leave around 11…that sounds fair.

"Fine, shift your ass before I change my mind"

I move into the bathroom adding a little aftershave, deodorant, and a new shirt.

Why did I agree to this again?

I sigh looking at myself in the mirror.

I used to relish in going out, meeting girls, having fun, getting drunk.

But then my business happened, my life started changing, my tastes grew differently.

Then, unexpectedly, Teddy came along.

I look at myself, the Christian now is completely different from the Christian 6 years ago.

Going out these days seems nothing to me…

My nights with Teddy are so much more measurable.

My life is still totally fucked up and I'm working hard in so many ways to get things to go my way, but Teddy. He's my one constant in my life. I live my life for him now. I'm building my business up to give him the best I can. To give him everything I didn't.

"Hurry Up bro!" Elliot calls.

"Fuck off I'm coming…I'm coming" I laugh making my way back down and he grins.

"You scrub up pretty nice" He teases.

"Fuck off Elliot" We both laugh and I make my way out opening my Audi R8 and we climb in.

I speed off towards the club Elliot gave me directions for.

I look up at the sign and mumbles to myself, "What the hell kind of name is Trinity".

I pull up into a space sighing. I really don't want to get out.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it, you haven't been inside yet…it's a real VIP place trust me" He grins climbing out.

I roll my eyes following his lead, checking my phone.

No messages.

I follow him inside.

"Grey" Elliot says and security tags us both with green VIP bands.

I feel like a child.

We make our way inside. The red decor is pretty nice actually and the chandeliers give it a very exclusive look.

I surprisingly kind of like it.

It reminds me a lot of the past though…the red coloring giving flashbacks of those years ago.

We make our way to a booth that Elliot has reserved.

He's so lucky I came or else he'd be sat here all alone like a real saddo.

"Are you sure you don't want a drink you bore?" He smiles teasingly and I shake my head.

"I'm sure, I want to be clear-headed just in case…"

"Suit yourself" He moves to the bar bringing himself back two beers.

We both sit there and the music plays.

I keep looking at my phone then to Elliot.

I chuckle as I watch his eyes scan the room.

"You're such a man whore" I laugh teasing him.

We have really good brotherly banter.

It hasn't always been this way, but now that we're both older, it's nice.

"Says you" He raises his eyebrow mockingly.

Touche Elliot, touche. I roll my eyes.

"Ooooo look at that blonde….she's hot!" I look over to where his eyes are glued.

But Wow….

I can't take my eyes away.

The brunette.

She's with the blonde Elliot is dribbling all over, she is honestly completely and utterly eye-catching.

Her hair curls and cascades over her one shoulder, her smile is enticing.

She seems shy, a little reserved. But also very drunk, I notice as she stumbles slightly.

The blonde and Elliot end up locking eyes, and then to my surprise, the brunette catches my gaze.

I can't put myself through any of this, I can't put Teddy through any of this.

He's already been through too much.

I can't think about women, he has to be my main priority.

I turn my gaze back to my phone hoping there's a message off Taylor to pull me away from my thoughts, but there's nothing.

I run my hand through my hair sighing.

"Holy fuck…Christian look" Elliot says and gestures to the girls dancing together.

I can't take my eyes away.

She is absolutely stunning.

My type, definitely my type.

But I can't, I can't do it.

Elliot stands from the booth and before I know it the blonde is spinning into his arms.

Well, that means my work here is done, he's found a girl, it's almost 11 and I'm fed up of being here. This isn't my scene anymore.

I stand and I take my leave.

I head outside and calls Taylor.

"Sir"

"How is he?"

"He's asleep sir"

"How was she? Is he okay?"

"She was her usual self sir, spent her time on the phone or in her bedroom. Little Theodore played with his toys and he fell asleep. I put him to bed about an hour ago"

Why the fuck does she keep having him over if she's not even going to spend time with him.

I fucking hate him going there.

I can feel my anger rising.

"Bring him home first thing Taylor, no excuses and if she has a problem, she can call me"

"Yes sir"

"Thanks, Taylor" I hang up and I climb into my car.

"Oh for fuck sake Elliot" I groan in frustration seeing his phone on my passenger seat.

I sigh climbing back out and makes my way back into the club searching the place.

I find him making out with the blonde he was drooling over, but the brunette is nowhere in sight.

I nudge him and holds up his phone, he pulls away from her lips and then he smirks looking at me, "Thanks bro…this is Kate". He gestures to the drunk blonde who smiles brightly at me.

"And I am leaving….it was nice to meet you Kate" I give her a small smile before turning.

"I saw you looking at my friend" She grins.

"What?"

"I saw you…." She points at me smirking more.

"He's a bore…" Elliot teases, I really want to punch him right now.

"You should go and find her…. I think she liked you too, but she's a good girl, she'll never admit it"

I roll my eyes, now I have to pee. I just want to go home.

"Bye…" I give Elliot the finger making him laugh before making my way to the toilet.

"Get off me, Jack!" I hear a voice, a voice that seems strained, panicked even.

When I turn the corner I see her.

It's her.

The brunette.

The friend.

"Oh, Ana…you know you want to…come on… you miss me, just admit it!"

Ana, her name is Ana.

I don't know why but my heart starts to race a little.

Who the fuck is that guy and why is he touching her.

Clearly, she doesn't fucking want him to.

He's got hold of her wrist and he moves closer.

Keep calm Christian, this isn't your fight.

Don't get involved.

Don't get involved.

I can't leave her, though. I'm not that guy, not anymore.

"…I think the lady said No…so why don't you run along and leave her alone?"

Her eyes are wide when she hears my voice, her piercing blue eyes somehow put me in a trance.

I gaze down at her and I'm frozen, just for a split second.

She was beautiful from far away, but up close?

Wow.

"And who the fuck are you?" His stupid fucking voice pulls me from staring at her.

Now I'm pissed.

"Someone who clearly treats women better than you do"

"Oh do me a favor and fuck off…she's my girlfriend okay, mine…keep on walking dick"

Girlfriend? I look at her.

I watch as she quickly rips her wrist from his grasp.

Feisty little thing.

I like that.

Fuck, Christian, stop it. Let it go.

"I'm not his girlfriend….not anymore"

Thank fuck for that.

"Oh come on Ana…lighten up for fuck sake!" The small, little pathetic guy says.

It's quite funny actually, it's like he has little dog syndrome. Thinks his small and petite frame can take on the bigger males. Good luck with me, because I will rip him to shit.

"I think you should lighten up mate, the lady said no, she clearly doesn't want you…leave her alone"

"And what the fuck do you know about what she wants?"

I laugh sarcastically and I look to her.

"Do you want to go with him?"

Our eyes meet again as I scan her face for an answer. Her eyes are so…so.. hypnotizing.

Shit.

She shakes her head and I instinctively move closer to her. Our bodies seem to magnetize.

I've never experienced this before.

It's strange.

I stand beside her, crossing my arms as I look down and the small male in front of me, he suddenly seems intimidated.

"You know what? Fuck this…you're welcome to her mate, she's a fucking prude anyway… good luck getting any from her"

He makes his leave.

I watch as he leaves and is as far away as possible. I turn to look at her and she's looking down.

My eyes scan her frame. She's small and petite, the outfit she's wearing…just wow.

The way it 'V's' between her breasts, I can't help but rake my eyes over her.

I know I shouldn't, but I do and I can't stop myself.

My eyes are betraying me.

"Are you okay?"

She nods, but as she nods, she stumbles to the side and my hand automatically goes out to catch her, landing right on the curve of her waist.

I hear her gasp and her eyes shoot up at me.

I feel the electricity coarse through my fingers.

What even is this.

Our bodies almost touching as I hold her steady.

She is so drunk, she could put herself in some real danger if she stays here. The males are predators after 11.

"Th-Thankyou…" she whispers softly, her voice a little husky, a little nervous.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask just to be sure, I really don't want to leave her here. If anything happened, I'd feel awful.

"Yeah…I think…I think I might just find my friends and head home"

"I think one of your friends is with my brother…and if I know my brother, he won't be coming home tonight"

"And If I know my friend, she won't be coming home either"

We both laugh, I guess they're quite a match.

She bites her lip.

Oh…my…

I can't.

What am I even doing?

I can't do this to myself.

I can't do this to her, I can't bring her into my shit, not right now. There's too much going on. How would I even do this?

Oh hi, I have a child and a bat shit crazy ex, do you wanna go on a date?

That's not going to fucking work, is it?

I can't do this to Teddy, he'll be so confused.

"I can take you home if you need to..I'll be leaving soon anyway"

My mouth betrays me, what the fuck?

I need to think before I speak. But it's done now.

I can't deny my attraction to her, I can't deny how beautiful she is.

"Haven't you been drinking?"

She's sensible. That's good at least.

"I don't drink, Elliot, My brother…he begged me to come tonight…Apparently, I don't get out enough and he needed a wingman" She laughs at that.

I bet her friend brought her for the exact same reason.

"You're not going to kidnap and kill me, are you? You're definitely not a serial killer?"

"Not today"

I watch her cheeks blush.

I watch as she pushes her curl behind her ear.

"Christian" I offer her my hand.

"Ana" She smiles willingly taking it and her lips curling into a smile.

Wow.

We make our way over to Elliot and Kate to let them know Ana is leaving with me.

Not in that way obviously, but…

Anyway.

Kate smirks and whispers something to Ana making her laugh, but blushes and shakes her head.

"Wait…where's Jose?"

She looks down at her phone then shrugs slightly.

"I think he left!" Kate says over the music.

"Yeah! He texted me" Ana says to Kate then looks to me smiling.

She really is beautiful.

I'm glad I didn't drink tonight, I'm not sure drunken Christian could have resisted.

"Ready?" She simply nods and I escort her out towards my car.

"Wow…that's yours?"

I smirk nodding, "Yeah…like it?"

"Wow…yes!" She laughs gazing it over.

She seems to have sobered a little and hasn't stumbled.

Luckily.

I chuckle at her reaction and opens the door for her, before rushing around climbing into my driver's side.

She's in my car.

I sigh internally, what am I doing.

Think of Teddy.

Think of Teddy.

"So where's home?"

She gives me the address and I begin to drive.

It's quiet.

And honestly? A little awkward.

What am I supposed to say?

"So…. was that guy really your ex?" I ask but it's still silent.

I look curious when there's no response and when I look over towards her, her eyes are closed.

Her body is relaxed.

Her head rested against her hand as her elbow rests against the window.

She's asleep.

I find myself smiling.

Smiling at her.

Why? I have no idea.

But it's nice.

I pull up outside of the address she gave me.

I look to her and she's still asleep.

Is it bad that I'm glad I brought her home?

I have this strange feeling inside of me.

Am I supposed to wake her?

I have no choice really do I?

"Ana…." I gently stroke her arm, "Ana….".

"Mm…." She startles awake, her eyes are wide and she sits up.

She looks around the car and then meets my eyes.

"Hey, …you're home…" I say smiling softly not to scare her.

"I'm so sorry….I didn't mean to fall asleep…I…I'm so sorry" She says nervously and bites that lip of hers once again.

Damn it.

I chuckle softly, "It's okay… I'm just glad you're home safe".

"Do you want to…come in?"

"I have some stuff to do in the morning so I have to be up early…I'm sorry"

"it's okay….Uhh… thankyou for the ride" she says nervously.

She's a shy little thing.

"No need to thank me" I find my hand lifting on its own accord and it gently strokes her cheek.

My eyes widen slightly and I quickly pull away when I realize what I'm doing.

She gazes at me, but as soon as I pull away she looks down at her hands awkwardly.

"Uhm…yeah…I…thanks again" She opens the door and she makes her way up to the front door letting herself in and closing it behind her.

I watch her the whole way.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Don't get involved, Christian.

Don't get her involved in your shit Christian.

I hit against my steering wheel sighing.

I look up to her house once more before driving away.

What have I done?

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	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5…

It's Monday and I think I've finally recovered from Friday Night.

Saturday, my head pounded all day, I constantly felt sick and woozy, and so, I stayed in my pyjamas, ate junk food, watched TV and totally just pigged out.

I'm not used to hangovers and I never want to experience one like it ever again.

Sunday…

Sunday was a strange day.

I received a bunch of texts off people but decided not to reply to any of them because I feel so confused.

I feel confused, but worst of all, I'm starting to feel lost and useless again.

It's really not a good combination.

I spent all day Sunday excited to wake up on Monday and just get back into the school and feel like a somebody, the feeling of being useful, helping someone, making someone smile.

Even if it is only little smiles of 4 to 6 years olds I don't care, it makes me feel better about myself.

I've spent my weekend reminiscing and attempting to put my Friday night together too.

There are parts I remember clear as day and there are parts I have no recollection of at all.

I don't remember Jose leaving.

I don't remember how many drinks I had.

Did I dance?

What time did I come home?

I don't remember the time, but I remember how.

I remember how hypnotizing his grey eyes were.

The way he gazed at me in his car.

The way he almost protected me at the club. Protected me from Jack.

Urchhh! Jack! Why did he even have to be there !

I feel my stomach churn at the thought of his hand on me, but then I'm brought from the sickening thoughts and I remember another man's hand on me.

The way his hand felt at my waist.

The way his hand lifted and rested against my cheek.

I was in complete shock when his thumb gently caressed my skin, but then….

Something changed.

The atmosphere melted away when I saw his eyes widen when he must have realized what he was actually doing.

That's when it all got awkward and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die there and then.

He looked away and so did I.

Was I supposed to leave?

I don't know, but that's exactly what I did.

I thanked him again and I quickly climb out walking as fast as my poor sore legs could take me.

I didn't even bother to look back at him but I heard his car drive away.

My head hurt too much to overthink what had happened so I slumped into my bed that night and fell immediately asleep. But that didn't stop my thoughts throughout the rest of the weekend.

Someone like him could never want someone like me anyway…

I'm too young, I'm too lost, I'm too… unworthy.

No knight in shining armor for me, and I'm starting to enjoy the idea of being alone forever more and more.

But anyway…

It's finally Monday and I'm so ready to get back to feeling the way I did last week.

The way that school, those children and Mrs. Morgan makes me feel, is something I could have only dreamed of.

I'm excited to head back.

Luckily my car is finally back from the garage and so I drive myself to work.

Soon arriving there, anticipation kicking in, I climb out smiling brightly making my way inside.

Here's to another day.

I hope it's a good one.

I make my way into the classroom and Mrs. Morgan is going through some papers.

"Morning" I chirp happily.

"Good morning Ana, how are you?" She says enthusiastically.

"I'm great thank you, how are you?"

"I'm good thank you, excited for another day?"

I nod hanging up my coat, "I am… I love it here and the children are so adorable" I smile.

She nods agreeing, "You've been amazing with them Ana honestly, I've had a countless amount of assistant but you have by far raised the bar, you've been wonderful. Especially with little Theodore".

Theodore.

Oh my gosh, I hope his weekend went okay.

Poor little guy.

"Thank you, Mrs. Morgan, that really means a lot to me"

"It's the truth, you deserve it"

"Is there anything you'd like me to do?"

She looks up, then around the room thinking.

"Oh! Yes..there is…can you set up the paints for me? I think we'll do some finger painting today, what do you think?"

"Yeah of course! They'll love that I'm sure…nice and messy" I smirk laughing as does she.

"Sending them home messy shows they had fun" She laughs softly looking back at her paperwork.

She's right.

Children love fun and mess.

I make my way to the cupboard opening the doors and pulling out the rainbow of colors, pouring them into little trays, big enough to fit their hands.

I'm almost done when Mrs. Morgan opens the doors and the children start flooding in.

Not so many tears I see today, they must finally be enjoying it and aren't as sad to leave their parents anymore.

"Miss Steele!"

"Hi Maisie, how are you?" I smile at the little girl and I kneel down to her height.

"I goods! what we doing today?!"

"Oooo now that's a surprise!" I giggle.

She laughs hugging my leg before running to the carpet where Mrs. Morgan always starts the day.

"Orning Miss Steele!" Little Tucker grins making me laugh.

"Morning Tucker"

All the children greet me as they make their way to the carpet.

I look to Mrs. Morgan who pokes her head out, looks up and then down, but there's no one else around.

I look confused, then look to the carpet scanning the place.

No Theodore.

Oh, I hope he's okay.

I look back at her and she simply shrugs slightly, "There's nothing we can do Ana" She says sadly gently squeezing my shoulder before she makes her way to the from of the classroom.

"Good Morning Children!"

"Good Morning Mrs. Morgan! Good Morning Miss Steele!" They all say in unison smiling their bright excited little smiles.

They're adorable.

I stand at the back of the carpet watching them all singing and dancing the same way they start every morning and it makes me giggle watching their enthusiasm.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when there's a knock against the window. I turn to look and I see a familiar face.

I make my way to the door unlocking it.

"Sorry, we're late…" The lady says and little Theodore peeks his head from behind her.

"That's okay…" I smile at her.

"He's a little… disorientated today" She says tactically. What's happened? I look curious.

I nod simply accepting her excuse and I kneel down smiling at Theodore.

"Hi sweetheart.," I say calmly not to scare him.

I remember him being this way at the start of last week too, shy and timid, but not this bad.

His eyes seem puffy and red like he's been crying.

I gaze over his features and he doesn't even look at me.

He's clutching his little blanket tighter than I've ever witnessed him do so before.

I stand back up and looks to the woman in front of me. She can tell I'm worried…

"I'm Gail…" She says sweetly, "I work for Teddy's father…"

I nod slightly but my eyes look back to the little guy.

Teddy huh? Nickname maybe?

My heart absolutely breaks for him, I wish I knew what was going on.

I wish I could help.

"I'm Miss Steele" I smile sadly at her and she nods shaking my hand.

"Hey darling, are you going to go inside with Miss Steele?"

He sniffles and he doesn't say anything, he just walks inside not looking at either of us, or anybody.

The intimidating security guard follows close behind too.

"It's been a tough weekend for him… he mentioned seeing you today though, so I had hoped that's a good sign. He seems to have a little soft spot for you" She says sadly.

I nod sighing and I look to Theodore who simply stands there again with his blanket.

"I know I'm not allowed to intrude, but if there's anything I can do to help…"

She nods appreciatively. "Thank you" She smiles and gives him a little wave which he doesn't respond to.

She makes her leave and I gently close the door behind her before I make my way to him.

I can't leave him when he's like this, the poor little thing.

I simply move and kneel beside him, about 2 feet away.

I don't want to push him away again so I'll let him come to me as I smile watching the other children.

I wait.

And wait.

Even though I'm looking ahead, I see his little head out of the corner of my eye move to look at me, then away again.

Then back to me and then away again.

I don't want to overcrowd him or overwhelm him, I hope he'll come to me on his own.

Then, the next thing I know, his little legs make their way over to the bookshelf.

That's it, sweetheart.

Go on.

I smile watching him as he chooses one, then he makes his way back beside me.

A little closer this time.

Then a little closer again.

And then… I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder.

There we go…

I'm so proud of him.

I look to him and holds the book towards me.

He doesn't say anything as he sniffles, but his little eyes gaze into mine and my heart absolutely breaks.

Oh, Theodore, I wish I could help you.

My lips curl into a small smile and I nod carefully taking the book from him.

He runs over to the chair he always sits in and I sit in front of him beginning to read.

As I read, I feel the sense of him watching me, he's scanning me.

I look up and smiles and he seems a little calmer now, a little more of the Theodore I remember from last week.

I soon finish the book and he gently takes it from my hands.

"So the lady that brought you to school this morning called you Teddy…. do you like being called Teddy?" I smile he nods.

"My Daddy caws me, Teddy".

"He does, that's sweet of him" I smile hearing his wonderful sweet little voice.

Finally.

"Okay, everyone! Let's do some finger painting!" Mrs. Morgan says excitedly and I smile brightly at her.

I look at Theodore.

"Do you want to paint too?"

He looks to me thinking, then nods and he offers me his little which I willingly take.

He's so sweet. But still so reserved.

I smile standing at the large piece of paper with him and I move the paints a little closer to him so he can reach easily and he begins.

"I'm going to go and see the other little boys and girls just for a second, but I'll come right back okay?"

He looks at me as if I've just told him I'm running away and I'm never returning.

I want to stay with him I really do, but I have to make sure I see the other children too. I know I have to.

"I'll come back, okay?"

"Pwomise?" He whispers sadly.

I nod, "I promise sweetheart".

He watches me go as I start to go around the other children seeing all of their wonderful pictures.

I keep gazing back towards him just to check on him, but I see his little fingers at work.

I go full circle and I finally make my way back to him.

When I reach him, I see him gazing at his picture.

There are 3 figures.

A small child, I'm assuming it's meant to be him.

A taller figure holding the child's hand, maybe his Dad?

Then a figure far away on the other side of the page.

As I look closer, the figure holding the child's hand has red paint smothered on its head.

I look curious.

This picture is a little… Uhm… realistic?

He's only 4.

I'm a little worried.

I kneel down beside him.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" I say before my mind can process what's coming out of my mouth.

He simply nods and looks to me.

"You can talk to me okay?" I smile sadly and he simply just stares at me.

Think Ana, think. Keep him engaged.

"That's a lovely picture, who's that?" I point to the tall figure.

"Daddy" He gives a small smile at his name. "And dats me!" He says a little more enthusiastically.

He seems to really love his Daddy. I'd like to meet this mysterious man one day.

"And who's that?" I point to the other figure.

And then…

He gets all reserved again, he gets a little awkward and he looks down at his hands covered in paint.

"Mommy".

Time to change the subject, Ana.

Come on.. think, think…

"So where's your Daddy today?" I say hoping his Daddy will make him smile even that little bit again.

"Daddy wiv gwandma today"

"Your Daddy is with your Grandma? Well that's nice….are you going to see them after school?"

He nods and looks down absent-mindedly fiddling with the dried paint stuck to his fingers.

"In da howpital"

I look curious, the hospital?

Wait….

What?

I look back up to the picture and it seems to make a little more sense now.

"Hospital?"

He nods.

Oh my goodness.

The poor little guy.

I sigh sadly.

I have no idea what to do. I want to just pick him up and cuddle him close and tell him everything is going to be okay.

"Why is he in the hospital sweetheart?" My curiosity betrays me.

He shrugs, as he tugs on his blanket from the ground. It's definitely his comforter. His little sleeve rises up slightly as he grabs it and I see a small bruise forming.

What the hell?!

It looks like a hand mark.

Did someone hurt him?

And who?

What did the hell happen?

"Mommy huwted Daddy"

His voice is small, quiet, barely even a mumble as he looks down.

Oh my goodness.

I feel my own eyes fill with tears hearing his sad and lost little words.

The poor little guy.

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6…

"After looking over all the evidence, we have finally reached a final and fair decision. The child will have contact with the Mother Leila Williams, and she will have custody 24 hours a week, one full day and night. The night and day can be discussed between you both"

Leila smirks at me from over the table.

"What?! No!"

The judge looks to me, "Mr. Grey, you have main custody, but Ms. Williams is entitled to her son"

"Are you kidding me?! After all the evidence we've brought?! I had to pay her for him!" I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

I paid her 10 thousand dollars for her to keep him.

I then paid her 1 million dollars for him to live with me.

I pay for her apartment, I pay for her life. All because I wanted him and she didn't.

The drug abuse.

Alcohol abuse.

The men.

The sex.

My mind reeling with every single bit of evidence I've brought to the table and it's been thrown back into my face.

My father rests his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me but nothing can, not right now.

I know what the judge says goes but after everything….I feel helpless, I feel useless. I don't want him going to her! How can they allow this?!

"We have seen the evidence Mr. Grey, but Ms. Williams has brought her own situations too".

I am livid!

"I want it monitored. I want someone I know and trust to be there present when she has him, the full 24 hours" I say seriously.

The Judge writes down in his stupid fucking notebook.

"Granted," The one says.

Taylor will be there every single fucking day.

I am absolutely livid, my heart racing so hard I fear it may pop out of my chest.

"The decision has been made and is final" The judge bangs his stupid fucking stick down.

I stand angrily and my Dad follows me out.

"I can't let him go with her Dad! I can't"

"We have no choice right now son…It's one night a week okay? Let's roll with it for now and I'll see what I can do"

"It might be too late by then!" I storm out of the court.

That's how the court hearing went.

That's how all this shit ended up happening.

That's how I have no choice but to hate every single Friday when I know he won't come home to me after school.

On Fridays, I am useless and I have absolutely no control.

But now….

I can't believe how stupid I've been.

I can't believe I gave her the chances with him over and over and over again. I never wanted my son to grow up in the same environment I did.

But It's happened. I've allowed it, I'm so stupid.

I'm fucking fuming at the court for even allowing her contact.

Even they thought it would be a good idea and I had no choice but allow it to happen.

But now….not anymore.

"What the fuck Leila?!" I hiss angrily as I storm into her apartment that I'm fucking paying for.

"What is your problem, Christian? He's my son too and If I want to keep him here I can! I'm entitled 24 hours with him, you can't just decide to take him early!"

"You've had him locked in his room so you can drink and smoke and do goodness knows what else! You're not fit to be a mother! That's why I have priority custody over him! Fuck sake! Look at you! You didn't even put him to bed, Taylor did!" I yell angrily.

As soon as I saw Taylor's name pop up on my screen that Saturday morning, I knew.

I just knew something was wrong.

It's my fatherly instincts I guess, but as fast as my legs and car would take me, I raced the whole way to her fucking apartment.

I knew the hearing was a pile of shit!

When they said she could have him one night a week and then maybe gradually make it two, I knew it was the wrong decision. She's only doing this because she wants to keep me around. She wants more, but I'll never give her that. I've changed, I changed for Teddy. She hasn't.

I'm going back and contesting the idiocy of the court. That judge will have my full wrath I swear by it.

I storm into her apartment and when I enter, Teddy is still locked in his room but for now, I'm glad for it, for his own safety.

When I walk in, I look around and I'm horrified. There's a guy naked on the sofa and Leila is walking around in only a bra and panties.

Both of them, High and drunk.

There are alcohol bottles all over the place, the whole apartment smells like weed and goodness knows what else has been going on here honestly.

I used to be the same, Leila and I were never serious, it was all just drunk and high fun.

But when she fell pregnant, I knew, I knew that was my time to change. My business started, Teddy came along and my life seemed to have a meaning again.

I haven't been in this apartment for months, this is the first time in about 3 months I've been here.

I'm in total shock and I'm starting to hate myself for not coming here sooner.

I fucking swear, If Teddy is hurt, that will be the last thing she ever did.

I don't want him around it anymore.

I went through it as a child and I refuse to put Teddy through it anymore.

I'm done, no more coming here, ever again.

"Oh fuck off Christian! He is my son and I can do what the hell I like!"

"And you think this okay for him to see? walking around naked and half-naked, you think drunk and high is a good environment for him?!"

"Well, you turned out pretty okay, considering you experienced the same" She yells back at me before stumbling ontop of her naked company making her laugh. "He was asleep anyway, he didn't hear me moaning" She laughs more.

I feel sick.

Does she think this is funny?!

My blood is fucking boiling in my veins right now.

"He wakes up at 6am every morning! I can assure you he would not have been fucking sleeping! It's 8 am! You know nothing! Nothing about him at all!" I glare angrily, "I'm getting him and I'm leaving, he's not coming back here," I say sternly walking towards the room she keeps him in when he's here.

"Don't you dare! The court says he has to be with me one night a week" She glares and moves after me.

"I'll contest it…he's not coming back, We're done"

"You can't!"

"I'll do what the hell I like….he doesn't even like coming here! He's older now, he can speak for himself" I move faster but so does she.

"He's not just yours!"

"You didn't even fucking want him, Leila! You're only acting this way because I fucking left you when he was born! This…" I gesture between her and the naked guy still laid on the sofa smoking another joint. "This was my life before he came along! I changed for him! You chose not to!"

"You miss me though, admit it"

And there it is…the evidence, she doesn't care about him.

"No Leila…I don't….and you fucking hate that we will never be anything more, that's why you're using him against me!… well, guess what? He's not coming here ever again. We're done with you….both of us."

"He is coming here! I'll take you back to court for custody and I'll win!"

"Back to court?" I laugh hysterically, "Back to court with what Leila? My money? The money that I give you….The money I paid you so you would actually keep him? You think someone is going to come in here and think it's an acceptable place for a 4-year-old?! You're fucking sick" I say a little too harshly but it's all the truth and I just want my boy and I want him out of this environment forever. I turn to continue my quest to get my son back.

The next thing I know, something is crashing against the side of my head with a such a force it causes it to shatter.

Fuck.

That hurt.

I stumble a little but I don't fall. I stumble into the wall to keep myself steady and the next thing I know, Taylor has her hands locked behind her back.

She's pushing and shoving against him, yelling bloody murder but he doesn't let her go.

I look down and I see a lamp shattered completely into pieces on the floor.

I move my hand to my head and there's blood pouring.

Shit.

Teddy….just get Teddy and go.

I move to the bedroom unlocking it and opening the door.

Teddy is curled up into his little bed. The blankets covering his whole body including his face.

I can hear him sniffle and that's the last straw for me.

"Teddy? Buddy?"

I watch as the blanket moves a little and his little head pokes out.

"D-Daddy?" He sniffles.

"It's me baby boy…come on we're going home" I move to the side of his bed and I kneel down beside him.

He quickly jumps into my arms crying softly.

"I no wants to come hewes daddy"

"You don't have to buddy, not if you don't want to…not anymore okay?" He nods sniffling and nuzzles into my neck as his arms move around me, clutching onto me tightly.

"I'm so sorry Teddy…I'm so sorry for putting you through this" I whisper as I hold him tight.

I hate myself.

I absolutely hate myself for everything,

I hate myself for even letting him come here In the first place.

I stand carrying him out and Leila calls out to him as I walk past her.

"Teddy! Baby! Stay with Mommy!"

Teddy simply looks up and he shakes his head.

That's my boy.

She watches him shake his head and suddenly her eyes turn dark.

Evil almost.

"Fuck you then! Fucking brat!" She glares.

Then I stop in my tracks and I turn to look at her. What the fuck did she just say?!

"I'm cutting you off…no more money, no more help. You're on your own Leila. You'll be hearing off my Lawyer and even the police. It's just me and Teddy now, you understand?! You're nothing to him anymore." I glare at her, my blood curdling I'm so angry.

I hold Teddy close.

He's shaking, my poor boy.

I walk out of the apartment and out to my car.

Taylor soon follows behind.

"I'll drive sir" He climbs into the driver's side and I climb into the back holding Teddy close to me.

"It's okay, Daddy's got you now…Daddy's got you" He curls into me as I gently stroke his back.

"We should get you to the hospital sir".

"No…Not yet…can you go to the apartment, we'll get Mrs Jones and head to my parent's house. I want Teddy safe first, I'll get my Mom to sort this"

I can tell he's worried about the blood on my face but he simply nods agreeing.

We pick up Mrs. Jones and drive to my parents.

At the house, Teddy seems to calm down as he plays with Mia and Elliot. I'm so grateful for them keeping him occupied.

"You look like shit," Elliot says sighing looking at my wound as Mom sits me on the kitchen table trying to clean it up.

The bleeding doesn't stop but I put off the hospital for as long as I can.

I start to get a little dizzy. I start to feel a little sick.

But I have to keep going.

I put Teddy to bed about an hour ago, and I've just been standing here watching him sleep, it's been a long time, but I don't care. It's comforting knowing he's here. He's safe.

He's with me, he's with his family.

I Gently stroke his little cheek.

I wanted us both to be surrounded by people that love us, that love him. So he knows what real love feels like. That's why I brought him here. After everything he went through the last 20 hours, I want him to feel the love, he needs it and deserves it.

He's probably so hurt, so so hurt from what she put him through.

I suddenly feel a sharp shooting pain through my head and I grasp onto the side of his bed.

I don't even realize my Mom is standing in the doorway until I hear her voice.

"I'm taking you to the hospital…come on," She says sternly when she realizes how deep the wound is.

"I don't want to leave him"

"You're no good to him in pain Christian, come on…It's already 5 am"

"5 am?" My eyes widen and she nods.

Shit, I didn't realize how much time had passed. Is it really 5 am on Sunday already? I've been watching him sleep for hours.

"Great" I sigh and I lean down to Teddy kissing the top of his head.

He stirs slightly, his little eyes opening and he smiles softly when he sees me.

"Morning buddy"

"Daddy," He says brightly.

He's okay. He seems to be okay.

He stands up on his little feet and reaches up to me.

My heartbreaking.

I lift him into my arms and I hold him close to me.

"Hey buddy, Grandma is taking Daddy to the hospital okay? But I'll be back really soon"

"Cans I come?" He looks at me sadly.

"I'm sorry, but I promise I'll come right back okay?"

"Pwomise?"

"I promise"

He nods and I kiss his head, "My brave boy" I whisper to him and he seems to give me a little smile.

I love him so so much.

I gently lay him back down into the bed and I cover him back in his blankets.

He watches me leave and gives me the smallest little wave which I return with a small smile.

Once at the hospital, my head starts to pound and I start to grow unwell as the stitches are entered through my skin.

I'm physically sick and projectile vomiting. My temperature rises, so they decide to keep me in overnight just as a precaution and on antibiotics.

I just want to be with Teddy.

I'm so grateful full the family we have, I know he'll be safe with them, but still, I wish he was with me.

Monday morning rises and I'm finally discharged from the hospital and allowed to go home now my temperature has decreased.

When I get there, It's quiet.

Very quiet.

"Where's Teddy?" I say to my Dad who's sipping his coffee in the kitchen.

"He went to school" He smiles.

"School?! after everything he's been through?"

"Christian…he wanted to…he asked could he go. He wanted to see Miss Steele"

"Miss Steele?" I raise an eyebrow curiously.

"I think she's his teacher…he seems to really get along with her and he wanted to go to school today to see her"

I sigh, Teddy is gone and my heart hurt a little. I had hoped it could just be me and him for the day but apparently, he wanted to go and see his teacher. I can't deny him that. My brave little man.

I just hope he's okay.

I'll be there for him after school, he'll like that. I rarely pick him up, but now, I'm going to change that too.

Don't worry buddy, I'll see you at 3. I think excitedly.

"You…go and get some rest," Mom says pointing to the stairs.

"I'm fine" I reply as I make my way towards the fridge. I'm so stubborn, I've always been the same.

"Now!" She says sternly and I sigh making my way up doing as I'm told.

You'd never think I was 28 years old with a child. I roll my eyes but smiles to myself, it's only because she cares.

The same way I care for Teddy.

I set my alarm for 2 pm in case I fall asleep, ready to go and get my little man.

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	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7…

The rest of the day goes by, but I'm still a little worried about him.

The picture and everything…

How could I not be worried?

I wonder if that lady will be picking him up today?

What was her name again?

Gail right?

Yeah… I hope she comes, hopefully maybe I could talk to her.

If I don't ask, I'll never know and I'll keep worrying about this little guy forever.

Maybe I should talk to Candice too.

I start cleaning up all the paints smiling as I hear Mrs. Morgan. starting to tell a story on the carpet before nap time.

I clear up quickly planning on heading out while they sleep to go and meet with Candice just to discuss this with her.

Once the story is over, they all start drifting off to sleep against their little pillows making my lips curl into a smile, and my heart melts as I watch them.

I move over to Mrs. Morgan who is putting the stuff away.

"I'm really worried about Theodore, did you see his painting?" I whisper not to wake any of them.

She simply nods sighing, "I think maybe, we need to take it higher…do you want to go down the hall? You already know Candice right?"

I nod replying.

"Head down to her office and tell her I sent you, You know more than I do, just explain to her about your concerns and fingers crossed we can help him"

I must admit, I am a little nervous.

Am I doing the right thing?

What If I shouldn't get involved?

What If I'm making the wrong decisions?

What if things get worse for him when it's come to light?

Be brave Ana, the little guy is hurting.

He's hurting so badly I can see it in his eyes.

I nod and moves to the door when I hear the smallest and sleepiest little voice.

"Wheres going?" Little Theodore looks up at me rubbing his sleepy eyes as he yawns.

I smile sadly and I kneel down to him.

"I'm just heading out for a little while sweetheart, but I'll be here after nap time okay?"

"Cans I come wiv you?"

My poor little heart.

I shake my head sadly, "I'm sorry sweetheart, but I have to go on my own okay, but I'll be back okay? Just get some rest and when you wake I'll be right here" I smile softly and he nods moving back to lay down.

The poor little guy, hopefully, I can help him.

Hopefully what I'm doing for him is right.

I make my way to Candice's office and gently knocks at the door.

"Come in!" She chirps enthusiastically.

She is such a lovely woman.

I turn the handle and I make my way inside smiling nervously.

"Ana..hey…how are you? Please take a seat.." I smile nodding and moves to the seat.

"I'm fine thankyou…how are you?"

"I'm great, how are you finding it here?" She smiles packing away her notes.

"I'm loving it, it's honestly more than I could ever have hoped for…"

She smiles brightly at my words and nods in agreement, "I knew you'd be an amazing fit here….is there something I can do for you?"

She folds her hands onto the desk in front of her giving me her full attention.

I swallow down a little as the nervousness starts to swoop over my body once again.

"Uhm…yes…so…we have a little boy in our class, Mrs. Morgan sent me to talk to you because he's kind of, opened up to me and apparently, he hasn't done that with anyone else. He doesn't really have any friends in the class, he doesn't really join in…so I started to incorporate things he likes rather than let him feel awkward and alone. Well… he's really opened up and I'm very concerned about him."

"Concerned?… Talk to me" She starts to look a little curious.

"Well… I thought he was just shy at first, but the more he's talking to me, the more he's expressing himself, the more I'm worrying. Friday, his Mom came to pick him up and he asked could he come home with me instead… he turned up late today and the lady that brought him in stated that he had, had a rough weekend"

"I see…." She says as she starts taking notes, sighing with worry. I wonder if she's ever dealt with anything like this before. "has there been more?" She looks to me and I reply with a nod.

"Today….he….well… we were finger painting and his drawing was a little… realistic? If that's the word to use"

"Realistic? What was it?" She says continuing to take notes.

I watch her sit up and I can see the worry start to appear in her too.

"He told me that His mother hurt his father and on the drawing his father was covered in red paint which I am assuming could only have been blood. I don't know if he saw anything, or if he saw what happened, but his drawing seemed very…. Representative of what he had told me" I say sadly and I can feel my eyes welling with tears. "I don't know if it's linked but he also has a bruise on his wrist which I saw while he was painting"

"Okay…wow…Okay…." She leans back and takes a deep breath, "Thank you for this Ana, we'll certainly be looking into it, it's very distressing from what you've said"

I nod thankfully. I'm glad she understands.

"What was his name?" She asks as she writes down more notes.

"Theodore Grey"

She nods writing his name down.

"Okay Ana, if you want to take this further you must know that if this becomes something serious you may have to be a witness to everything you've told me, is that okay?"

I nod, as long as I'm doing the right thing.

The right thing for the poor little guy.

I sigh sadly nodding again, I have to do this even though my heart is pounding so hard.

"Okay, well I have the notes you've told me, what I need from you is a statement, describing his behavior, his actions, his speaking, everything you've seen okay? Write it all down into a statement and I'll do the rest from there"

"Thank you Candice" I reply appreciatively.

"No, No thank you…It's amazing you've picked up on this Ana, we need people like you here, you're honestly doing such an incredible job with the children, Mrs. Morgan gives high recommendation for you" I smile softly and nods, although I'm glad of that, I just hope we can help little Theodore.

"If you can get me that statement by tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll get it done straight away after school"

"Perfect, thank you, Ana"

"Thanks, Candice" I smile and nods making my leave back to the classroom.

As I'm leaving she looks at the notes concerned.

I close the door behind me and I make my way back to the classroom.

I walk in and I softly close the door behind me not to wake the children and Mrs. Morgan smiles over at me, holding up a cup of tea.

"Thank you" I smile brightly taking it.

"How did it go?"

"She was worried, I had to agree to be a witness in case this goes any further…but hopefully, It's going to help him" I say sadly as I sip my tea.

"You've been amazing with him Ana honestly, we're doing the right thing" She smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

I'm glad she thinks that honestly, it gives me a little peace of mind.

I sigh softly as I continue on with my tea.

Mrs. Morgan and I continue to chat when I feel a little movement against my arm. I turn looking down shocked to see Teddy's little hand resting on my forearm.

I smile softly and Mrs. Morgan smiles brightly at me, he's completely shy when she looks at him and he hides a little bit behind me as if she can't see him. She nods, giving me a small wink understanding before she heads off starting to prepare the next activity.

I turn to face him once she's gone.

" Hi sweetheart, did you enjoy your nap?"

He nods slightly and he gives me the smallest of smiles.

But it's a smile none the less.

"You cames back"

"Awww sweetheart of course I did, I made a promise"

I smile more, then to my surprise, his own little lips curl bigger and he reaches up for me.

Wait.

What?

Really?

This is a really big step.

And when he does that, that's when I know, everything I'm doing for him is the right thing.

I giggle and I gently lift him up sitting him on my lap.

"Okay children….time to wake up…." Mrs. Morgan walks around the room waking the rest of the class up. All of them groaning with Big yawns and stretches the same as every day.

I smile watching them and Theodore sits happily in my lap.

"Cans we pway?" He looks up at me.

"What would you like to play sweetheart?"

"Cars!" He says excitedly. His enthusiasm has incredibly improved and I'm so glad.

I giggle nodding and I put him down onto his little feet. He takes my hand and walks over to the little garage.

He rolls the cars around smiling as he plays.

"My Daddy gots a car"

"He does?" I smile taking a car and rolling it around.

"A goods one!"

I giggle at his choice of words.

"I have a car too," I say smiling.

"Weally? Wot cowor is it?"

"It's black"

"Wike my Daddy's!"

"Oh, your Daddy's is black too huh?" I smile brightly as he nods in reply and moves the car into a parking space.

The rest of the day goes by pretty well, and before we know it the day is done.

Theodore even joined in with one of the songs which I was so so proud of.

At the end of the day, I'm standing by the door helping all the children put their little backpacks on and handing them out the paintings they did earlier before their little legs run out excitedly to show their parents and guardians.

Little Theodore shyly waits for me to help him but I don't see anybody outside to collect him.

Mrs. Morgan who's stood at the door making sure the children are collected appropriately looks at me and shrugs slightly.

"Do you want me to start cleaning up while we wait?" I smile at her and she notices Theodore move a little closer to me making her giggle softly.

"Would you mind waiting with him? I can start cleaning" She smiles knowingly and I nod looking to him. Mrs. Morgan smiles more and giggles softly to herself as she watches him pretty much hide into my side.

"Is that okay?" I say to him and he nods gently taking my hand.

"Call me over when they arrive, I know the approved list and I just want to make sure he's going with the right people," She says softly as she makes her way past me and then around the classroom.

Theodore and I sit on the step between the door and the outside and he cuddles his blanket against his chest.

"Is my Daddy okay?" He says softly as he looks out.

Oh gosh.

I sigh softly, "I hope he is sweetheart".

Theodore simply nods at my reply.

"Daddy says I no go to Mommys no mores" He continues speaking quietly.

I look behind me catching Mrs. Morgan's eye in an attempt to encourage her to come a little closer so she can hear him too.

"He did? And is that okay with you?" I ask him cautiously.

He simply nods and looks down at his blanket.

"I no wikes going to Mommy's. I no pways and Mommy no woves me"

"Oh sweetheart…." I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes.

"It's otay…Daddy woves me, and gwandma and gwandpa and awntie mia and unc Ewwiot"

"That sounds like an amazing family sweetheart" He nods and gives me a small smile as I quickly wipe my stray tear away from his words.

This poor little guy, I sigh sadly and I look down at his small tiny little frame.

Mommy doesn't love me.

Mommy doesn't love me.

Mommy doesn't love me.

Mommy doesn't love me.

The words haunt me after he said them, how could someone not love him?

How could someone give birth to such an adorable, caring, handsome little guy and not love him?

Not care for him?

I smile sadly down at him.

I know now, I've made the right decision.

Maybe in some ways, I can help, I'll help in any way I can.

A red car pulls up just outside of the gates and I look down seeing his little lips curl up slightly.

"Gwandma!" He stands excitedly.

Mrs. Morgan peeks through the door seeing the lady getting out of the car and she nods in approval, so I allow him to go to her.

His little legs run over and she smiles lifting him up and kisses his little cheeks. It's a wonderful sight to see.

"There's my handsome little grandbaby"

"Gwandma!" He smiles and cuddles into her.

I watch them together, the love she shows him.

She's around 50 in age I'd say, she has a beautiful navy summer dress on and a huge smile on her face when she sees little Theodore.

She laughs softly as he looks up at her and I finally stand from the step and I lean in the doorway simply watching his little smile.

It's adorable.

"Gwandma! Dats Miss Stweele!" He points to me and I start to blush a little, I hate attention.

The lady looks over to me and moves a little closer so I can hear her talking, "Well, you're the famous Miss Steele…it's nice to meet you" She smiles offering me her hand which I gently take in greeting. "Teddy here has told me a lot about you".

I giggle softly as does Teddy.

My cheeks are now a bright red, I already know.

"How has he been today?" She asks smiling.

"Uhm…" I look at her.

Do I tell her?

Am I supposed to tell her?

"I'll take him Mrs. Grey" The intimidating Security guard tells her and takes Theodore to the car.

We both watch as he puts Theodore into the driver's seat and he grins excitedly pretending to drive.

I giggle seeing his excitement, "He likes his cars"

She nods smiling sadly before looking back to me.

"So…how was he?" She asks sadly, I can see her tired and worried eyes.

Something must be going on.

"I…was a little worried about him today honestly…I think it's been a hard day, but he finally opened up a little after a while" I talk quietly.

"Opened up? Has he said anything to you?"

Oh gosh, uhm…

Do I tell her about the painting?

About his Mom?

I can't lie.

I nod slightly, "He told me a little about his Mom…that she hurt his Dad? He drew a painting of it…" I bite my lip nervously describing it. "He told me he doesn't like going there and she doesn't love him," I say sadly.

She sighs sadly and covers her face for a moment before looking back at me.

"You have no idea the relief I have that he's told you all of this Miss Steele…"

"Please call me Ana" I smile sadly and she nods.

"He doesn't really open up to anyone, not even us… we've all been so worried. His Dad was meant to come and pick him up this afternoon, but the police are at the house asking for statements, taking pictures of his wounds and looking through some camera footage. His Mom got 24 hours of custody a week, which she should not have been granted in the first place, we've been gathering evidence for weeks now so we can take her back to court and gain full custody of him. But after she harmed him, we got the police involved right after I brought him home from the hospital early this morning, she's been arrested"

"Oh my gosh is he okay? " I ask sadly and concerned.

"He's fine, he's just relieved that we finally have Teddy out of that situation and we hope it's finally all over with, we have everything on camera, our Security guard, Taylor has filmed everything for weeks now"

Now I'm a little nervous, what if I ruined everything by talking? By telling Candice?

Oh my gosh.

"I have to admit, and I am so sorry if it was the wrong thing to do, but I was worried, I felt I had to do something… I had to tell someone about my worries and the things that were going on here"

"Oh No Ana, don't apologize, it could really help our case for him…. he's talked to you, and that's something you have that no one else does…Thank you for being brave enough to speak out"

Really?

Wow, I was not expecting that at all.

Oh my gosh, this sounds way more complicated than I thought.

"I hope it all works out, and if there's anything I can do to help please don't hesitate to ask, I adore Theodore, he's an incredible child, he deserves to be a happy one" I say and I watch as her smile grows.

"It means so much to hear that Ana, it really is"

After our conversation, Little Theodore is moved into his child seat into the back of the car and I see his little hand faintly waving at me as his grandmother drives away.

The poor little guy has been through so much. Even in that small conversation, I can already understand the sadness and hurt he's been through.

Hopefully, now, he can be free of it.

Hopefully, between everyone who cares for him, we can help him, including me.

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8…

I've been sat here for ages now, telling them the same story over and over and over again.

I get they need a statement, but how many times do I have to tell them?!

"Can we finish up now? I have to go and pick up my son" I say with annoyance.

I managed to get a nap in, but that only lasted about 20 minutes.

My head is absolutely pounding, my body is aching and I feel completely drained and exhausted and I just want my boy home.

"Yes Mr. Grey, we just need to take a few pictures, get your signature…"

I look at the time and it's already 2.30.

I'm going to be so late. I sigh and looks to My Mom.

"Mom? Would you mind heading up to get Teddy for me? Please? I have to finish up here and I don't want to be late for him" I say with a hint of sadness mixed with annoyance.

She nods moving to me and gently squeezes my shoulder as she nods.

"Of course darling, I'll bring him here"

I nod and I watch her go.

Half an hour later the police are gone and I'm happy to hear Leila has been arrested.

Even if it's just for a little while for now, I know it'll mean she has to stay away from Teddy.

There's no way on this earth she is ever having him ever again.

I look to my watch and it's already 3.45pm.

Where are they?

I sigh and makes my way out onto the front porch impatiently waiting for them to come up through the gates and into the driveway.

Another 10 minutes pass and just as I'm about to call my Mom, the gates open revealing her red car.

I sigh with relief and walks down the steps.

My Mom opens the door and puts little Teddy down onto his feet letting his little legs run as fast as they can towards me.

"Daddy!" His little voice, my boy's little voice is the best thing in the world.

My smile grows and I kneel down to him lifting him up into my arms.

"There's Daddy's boy!"

He giggles wrapping his little arms around my neck and nuzzles into my shoulder.

"My Daddy" He smiles hiding his face away into my shirt.

I hold him tight against me with both of my arms and my hand gently running through his hair.

My little Teddy.

I look to my Mom and she's smiling brightly watching us.

"Thanks for getting him" I smile appreciatively.

"No need to thank me, darling, I Love spending time with him" She smiles stroking Teddy's hair.

"Gwandma saw Miss Stweele, Daddy"

"Miss Steele huh? Who is this mysterious Miss Steele?"

"Me Teacher" He giggles smiling.

"She is a truly wonderful and caring person, her and Teddy have been getting along pretty well so I've heard", She smirks laughing softly at Teddy.

"Miss Stweele nice to me and she pways wiv me"

"Awww buddy, I'm glad" I smile kissing his little cheek.

"Actually, I should talk to you a little more about it, but later okay?"

I look curious but she gives me a small smile and makes her way into the house, I follow behind her holding Teddy close.

"Daddy better?" He looks at the stitches against my head and I nod smiling.

"Daddy's much better, I got you for cuddles" I grin and tickles his tummy making him squeal and wriggle.

"Are you staying here for dinner Christian?"

I look to Teddy and he nods eagerly making us laugh.

"Actually, if it's okay with you…could we stay here one more night?"

"You don't need to ask darling, we all love having you both here" She smiles lovingly at us and we nod.

"Yaayyyy!" Teddy smiles brightly. I love seeing him this way, he seems so much…happier.

"What do you want to eat darling? You can have whatever you want" She smiles stroking Teddy's cheek which he willingly leans in to.

"Spagwetti pwease" he smiles.

Mom nods in agreement, "Perfect choice…. I'll get it ready soon, your Dad and Mia should be home soon, I have no idea about Elliot, you know what he's like" She smiles and moves to the kitchen.

"Shall we go to the park while we wait for dinner buddy?"

"Yes!" He smiles excitedly and I nod putting him down on his little feet.

"Go and get your coat in your room and we'll go" I smile watching him go, rushing enthusiastically.

I move into the kitchen and I hug my Mom.

For the first time in years, I hug her and I think she's a little taken back by my surprise gesture.

Her arms softly move around me.

"Thank you Mom, for everything".

"Oh my darling boy" She tears up and holds me a little tighter.

After a few moments I pull back and coughs awkwardly, I don't embrace touch very often. Not after everything… I was petrified when teddy was born thinking his touch would burn too, but it didn't.

It doesn't.

I want to show my Mom how much I appreciate her, I don't do it enough, and this is something she's longed for.

She smiles brightly up at me and nods before she wipes her eyes and continues on.

"Daddy! I weady!" Teddy calls me out of the moment and I make my way into the hallway as he's running towards me.

I chuckle and lifts him into my arms.

"Good boy" I kiss his head smiling.

"Are you sure you feel okay to take him?" My Mom peeks around the kitchen and I smile nodding.

"I'll be fine, We won't be long, plus Taylor will be there"

"Okay darling, but if you need anything call me okay?"

"I will, thanks Mom" I smile before making my way to the door holding him.

"Bye gwandma" Little Teddy waves over my shoulder at her making me chuckle softly.

I love him so so much. He's my entire life.

"Bye my handsome baby" She smiles waving back and watches us leave.

I smile holding Teddy's hand as we walk our way through the streets towards the park. Taylor following behind us keeping his wits about our surroundings ensuring our safety. He really is amazing, and I'm hoping to start hiring more people to help him out. Now the business is growing, Leila and the media, we'll be needing everything we can get, especially for Teddy.

I look down watching him, seeing a little smile.

He looks so much like me and honestly? I'm grateful for that.

I'm hoping now we can both move on, be happy, just the two of us.

I ruffle his hair gently and he looks up at me with his big eyes.

"I love you, buddy"

His little lips curl into the biggest smile and he giggles.

I haven't seen him this happy and smiley in such a long time, it's nice to see.

I've hated putting him through everything, but now hopefully, now she's gone. It'll all be worth it.

"Wuv you Daddy"

I swoop him up into my arms making him laugh and tickles his tummy when his eyes suddenly widen at the sight before him.

"Daddy! Wooks!" His little hand points towards the biggest chocolate doughnut and I chuckle.

"That looks yummy" I smile kissing his cheek.

His eyes are wide gazing at it, his mouth open. He's pretty much drooling over this doughnut and it makes me laugh so much watching him.

"I tell you what, if you promise to eat Grandma's dinner, Daddy will buy one and we can share it, how about that?"

"Weally?" He says excitedly and he nods grinning, "I pwomise!".

"Alright Buddy, come on" I smile putting him down onto his little feet and I take his hand making our way into the cafe and to the counter.

It's pretty busy in here.

it must be a popular place.

This is a coffee shop I've never been in before but it's quirky, I like it.

Teddy smiles excitedly looking in the glass cabinet at all the delicious looking cakes.

He looks up at me with his wide eyes, making me chuckle, You'd swear he's never seen a cake before. "You can't eat them all…just one".

"Da one in da window pwease" He smiles I nod brightly.

My little man.

I ruffle his hair smiling before taking his hand once again.

We're two people away from ordering when all of a sudden he pulls his hand out of mine and heads out through the people and through the coffee shop. Taylor makes after him too ensuring where he's going.

What the fuck? Teddy?!

"Teddy! Teddy!" I call out but his little legs keep him going.

Fuck, I quickly leave the line to go after him.

"Theodore Grey, don't run away alone like that, you could get hurt or lost," I say worriedly, I'm not stern, but I make my point, trying as calmly as I can to make him understand.

But then I realize there's another pair of eyes gazing up at me widely.

The familiar, enticing and lusting eyes that gazed at me once before.

Fuck.

I can feel my heart almost rip through my chest at the sight.

That night, Everything comes flooding back to me.

She looks different without her makeup.

She seems different without alcohol.

Shy and reserved.

She's beautiful.

Her cheeks are blushing a bright pink and I can tell in the way her breathing has changed that she's nervous and was most definitely not expecting to see me.

Probably not expecting to see me ever again.

I was a dick that night, I drove off and I hated myself, but with everything going on, I couldn't put any of us through that.

I couldn't put myself in that position, I couldn't let Teddy get confused and I couldn't bring her into my shit.

She's sat here with a notebook, her pens, and a tea or a coffee, I can't tell which.

"But Daddy! It's Miss Stweele" He says smiling brightly.

Miss Steele… Fuck.

I rub the back of my neck, my nervous habit which doesn't happen very often.

"Hi sweetheart" She smiles down at Teddy but I can tell her voice is also a little strained from nerves.

"Miss Stweele, it's my Daddy!" Teddy points up towards me and her eyes meet mine once again.

I'm lost. I am totally lost in the abyss of her bright blue eyes.

Of course, she's his teacher, it would be her. Out of the 7 billion people in this world, she would turn out to be his teacher.

"Christian…." She says quietly.

The way my name rolls out of her mouth, fuck.

I feel something move through my whole body, the same feeling I felt when my hand landed at her waist that night she stumbled.

"Ana…." I give her a small smile which she returns.

Teddy starts to giggle, "Ana? Is dat you weal name?" he asks excitedly and we're both suddenly pulled from our gazes and looks to him.

"Uhm…no…it's Miss Steele you know that buddy"

He giggles grinning towards her making her laugh, she leans down a little and puts her finger to her lips.

"Our little secret okay?" She smiles at him and he giggles mimicking her movements with his finger to his lips.

It's a sweet thing to watch.

"Cans Ana come to da park Daddy?" He looks up at me and my hand ends up rubbing the back of my neck again.

What am I supposed to say?

Why the fuck do I feel so nervous?

"I uh…" I look to her and she's gazing up at me then back to Teddy.

"I have lots of work to do sweetheart, I'm sorry"

"Pwease!" Teddy moves closer to her.

"You're more than welcome to join us…" I smile at her.

I watch as her eyes grow curious when she looks at me. Her head tilts to the side slightly as she looks up. She's thinking, pondering.

She wouldn't want to come with you, idiot. I mumble internally scolding myself.

"I…uhh…I… " She stumbles over her words. She looks from her work, then to me, then to Teddy who's now holding her hand.

I can see her defeat as he smiles at her, "Uhm…sure…Let me just get my things".

"Yayyy" Teddy smiles brightly.

He really likes this girl.

"I'm grabbing a coffee and a doughnut to go, can I get you anything?" I look to her.

I still feel so fucking nervous.

She starts packing away her notebook and pens into her bag.

"I..Uhm..it's okay I can get it, thank you though".

"Please, I insist"

Teddy looks between us smiling.

"A tea… please…Thank you" She gives me a small shy smile, gently pushing her hair behind her ear as her cheeks flush once again.

This is going to be…eventful.

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Thank you to everyone that is following and reviewing this story so far, I've received some amazing comments and I wholeheartedly appreciate every single one.

I hope you'll all continue to follow and enjoy as I continue to update.

They've finally met again! What happens next?!

Update coming soon ;)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9…

I'm sat here in the coffee shop writing the statement Candice requested for the very little boy that's running up towards my table.

Oh no…

I look up.

My eyes go wide when I look up and I see him.

The guy from the night.

The guy that drove me home.

The guy that gave me butterflies, and surprisingly? They've come back to flutter as I gaze up at him right now.

I feel embarrassed though, and even a little ashamed.

I was so drunk that night, but I can remember him.

The way his hand felt at my waist, the way his thumb stroked my cheek but then quickly pulled away.

I can remember the embarrassment I felt. I quickly exited his car when he pulled his hand away and looked away from me.

I knew then someone like him could never want someone like me.

Now I'm sat here with no makeup, regular boring clothes feeling more like myself than I did that night.

But I feel afraid, I feel nervous, I don't feel as confident as I did then.

His eyes are still just as enticing though.

I bite my lip nervously.

Out of all the men in the world, trust him to turn out to be Theodore's Dad.

Coincidence? Who even knows.

But right now, I'd like to just disappear.

"Christian…" I say his name and I feel so nervous.

"Ana…"

He smiles at me and I feel my heart beat that little bit faster.

Then, Theodore asks me to go to the park with them, I know I shouldn't. I can't. But something inside of me encourages me to go.

"You're more than welcome to join us…"

His voice is just as husky and intriguing as it was that night.

Don't do it, Ana.

The thoughts are plaguing my mind, should I go?

Shouldn't I go?

The what-ifs.

The worst-case scenarios.

The everything spiraling through my thoughts overwhelming me.

"I…uhh…I…"

Then, I feel Theodore's little hand take mine and he looks up at me with the brightest smile.

Oh, my poor heart.

I must admit I am very tempted, but is it the right thing to do?

What's the worst that could happen?

Come on Ana, live a little. I tell myself in an attempt to give them an answer.

Theodore's big, bright, puppy dog eyes still gazing up at me.

"Uhm…sure…Let me just get my things"

I move my paperwork into my bag hoping Christian didn't see what it actually was.

I need to make sure I finish the statement by tomorrow ready for Candice.

Teddy stays by me as Christian moves to the counter and he smiles at me as I stand and he takes my hand once again.

I notice the familiar intimidating security guard lurking in the background as always.

I smile softly down at Theodore as we make our way towards the counter with his Dad.

"Tea…" He smiles at me handing me a large takeaway cup.

"Thank you…" I can't help my cheeks as they blush.

I feel so awkward.

"Here you are buddy" Christian hands, Theodore, a bag and he takes it with his free hand, the hand that's not tightly holding mine.

I watch him and I giggle when I see the debate on his face. He's considering two options, I can tell by the way he's looking between my hand and his bag of goodies. He's thinking, should he let my hand go to grab whatever is inside, or keep my hand in fear of me not coming with them.

I feel Christian's eyes on me when I giggle and my cheeks have been a constant blush since the moment I saw him standing there behind Theodore.

I look to him and he gives me a small smile.

"You better eat it up, or Daddy will" He smirks and Theodore looks up to me still debating on letting me go.

"You comings da park?"

I nod smiling, "Just for a little while".

Even though I know I probably shouldn't.

"Pwomise?"

I giggle nodding, "I promise".

His little lips curl up into a small smile and he nods letting go of my hand allowing himself to pull out this huge doughnut that's bigger than his face.

"That's a big doughnut for such a little boy" I laugh more and looks to Christian who is smiling brightly.

We take our leave from the coffee shop and I'm feeling somewhat nervous as we walk down the street towards the park.

Me nearest the wall, Theodore in the middle and Christian closest to the edge of the sidewalk.

The intimidating security guard following creepily a few feet behind.

Neither of us really say anything, but I can tell we both feel so awkward and are unsure of how to break the ice really.

I smile down at Theodore who has chocolate covering his little cheeks and he grins up at me making me laugh once again.

"So… he uhh… you're the first teacher he's gotten attached to" Christian says awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Is he nervous?

"Am I?"

I already know this but obviously I'm trying to keep the conversation going.

"It's nice to see" He simply says and there goes that conversation after I've nodded in reply.

Nice one Ana.

Then it's silent again as we make our way through the gates of the park.

It's truly a beautiful place and I haven't been here in so long.

The wind whisks through the leaves, children laughing and playing, people smiling.

It's a wonderful thing to see.

Every now and then I would look at him and he would catch my gaze and I would awkwardly look away.

Then I'd feel his gaze on me and I'd catch him and then he would awkwardly look away.

This situation is very….very weird.

"Cans I go on da swide?" He points towards the slide looking up at his father and I smile hearing his adorable little voice.

"Did you eat that whole thing? I thought we were meant to share!" He gasps teasingly in horror making Theodore laugh.

"Oooops" He giggles more and Christian leans down tickling his Tummy.

Hearing them both laugh is honestly so… so…

Heart warming.

"Stay in sight okay?" Christian ruffles his hair and he smiles nodding and runs off towards the slide. We both watch him as he nervously avoids all the other children, the same as he does in class. But that's just him I guess….he's definitely smiling more. He definitely seems happier.

After what his grandmother said, hopefully now he's happier because his Mom is gone.

Christian and I stand nervously next to each other, both of us looking towards the playground and towards Theodore.

"So…Saturday…how uh…how was your head?" He breaks the silence and I raise my eyebrow curiously.

He's talking about that night.

Great.

"Surprisingly fine, did you manage to get your things done early that morning?"

He said he couldn't come in because he had things to do early that morning. That's when he raised his hand against my cheek and now, right now, I can feel the butterflies in my stomach somersaulting at the memory.

Oh my gosh, Ana, chill.

I take a low breath.

"Oh…yeah…" He rubs the back of his neck and looks towards Teddy. "That turned out to be a disaster…." He looks to me and I can see the sadness in his eyes.

Oh gosh…is that when…is that when she hurt him?

The stitches prominent on his head but I've tried my hardest not to stare or highlight them.

"I had to go and get Teddy and things turned out to be a little unexpected I guess…" He gives a small sad smile then looks away and back to Teddy. "I'm just glad he's okay, this is the happiest I've seen him in a long time".

"I'm sorry…." I reply with genuine sympathy. I really do feel for him.

"Don't be…I…I actually want to apologize to you… I'm sorry for the way I treated you that night, I shouldn't have done that and then driven away" He looks down.

I'm a little shocked. But after everything I know, I understand.

"It's fine…" I shrugged trying to dismiss the subject.

"It's not though… if things weren't so complicated right now, maybe it could have been different" He sighs.

Wait, what does that even mean?

I'm so confused. Did he want to come in that night?

Did he mean to do what he did?

I'm a little surprised honestly.

"It's okay, really, I understand… apology accepted" I smile softly and he looks up at me with surprise. "I really appreciated you driving me home that evening".

"It was my pleasure" He smiles.

"Daddy! Ana!" Theodore comes running up to our legs and hugging one of each of them. I laugh as he grasps us and I accidentally stumble a little closer towards Christian when his little arms pull us closer together.

My cheeks flare up blushing softly once again as our bodies touch. We both look up meeting each others gaze.

"Daddy can Ana comes for dinner?"

He looks up at Christian but Christian's gaze remains on me.

My legs feel like jelly.

Oh my gosh.

His eyes are sucking me in with every look.

I quickly look down to him, pulling my eyes from Christian's and I smile kneeling down to Theodore's height.

"I have to have dinner with my own Daddy tonight sweetheart…I'm sorry"

His expression turns a little sad but he lifts his arms up to me.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

Should I pick him up?

Would that be okay?

I look up to Christian as if asking for permission, but, when I look up, even his face is plastered with a shocked expression.

Maybe he doesn't do this very often either.

Christian encourages me with a small smile and I lift him up into my arms and stands up again.

"Anower day? Pwease?"

His little hands rest on my shoulders and I smile, "Maybe another day sweetheart".

Christian's phone starts to ring and I'm pulled from my thoughts.

"Hey..yeah sorry, we got a little distracted…yeah…okay, we'll be home soon, okay bye"

I smile still holding Theodore when he puts his phone back into his pocket.

"Hey buddy we gotta go, Grandma says dinner is almost ready"

Christian gently lifts him from my arms and I have this strange feeling.

It's like my heart is swelling, I feel warm and cozy and….safe.

It's very strange and unnatural.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school sweetheart" I smile at Theodore and he nods resting his little head onto his Dad's shoulder. "I guess I'll see you around?" I smile softly and Christian nods.

"Thank you...for everything…" He says simply before kissing Theodore's head and my heart leaps.

What is wrong with me?

"Can I give you a ride home?"

"Oh no, it's fine thank you, I'm just around the corner"

We look at each for another few seconds, when it becomes a little intimidating and we both look away again.

I nod and I start to take my leave, both of us heading off in different directions. Biting my lip, I start to overthink, everything.

Trying to process my emotions.

My feelings.

My thoughts.

"Ana!" His little voice brings me out of my whirlwind of thoughts once again just as I'm opening the gate to exit the park.

I turn and little Theodore is coming bounding towards me, "Dats off my Daddy" He hands me a piece of card and I turn it over.

His name, His email, His number.

I giggle softly and I look up seeing Christian standing there with a small smile.

I watch as Theodore's little legs go running back to his father's and Christian swoops him up smiling brighter.

They both offer me a small wave which I return before disappearing behind the gate and making my way home.

I gaze down at the piece of card in my hand.

What just happened?

I feel..happy, empowered, I feel a touch of hope.

My smile grows as my mind reels with a billion thoughts.

Should I message him?

What would I even say?

I pull out my phone typing in his number.

_'Thanks for the Tea, A x' _

Sent.

Is a x too much?

Oh gosh, I can't take it back now.

Ping.

_'Hopefully, I can take you for another one sometime. Thanks for today. C and T x'_

My heart flutters.

Oh, Ana…Ana…Ana… what are you getting yourself in to?

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	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10…

"Teddy tells me you saw Miss Steele at the park?" My Mom smirks at me as I get Teddy ready for bed.

Teddy giggles hearing and he nods excitedly, "She came to da park wiv us gwandma!".

I chuckle hearing how excited he is and I smile remembering the day.

It was a little awkward at first, after what I did that night I'm surprised she even agreed to come honestly.

"She seems like a lovely young woman," She says calmly but I know exactly what she's doing.

"Mom…don't… my focus is Teddy now, I'm putting him first" I smile down at my sleepy son as he yawns curling under his blankets.

"Okay…Okay…Okay…I was just saying, you deserve to be happy too Christian" She smiles putting her hand on my shoulder and makes her leave from Teddy's bedroom.

"I wikes Ana Daddy".

"I know you do buddy" I smile gently stroking my hand through his hair.

"Do you wikes her Daddy?"

"I like her because she makes you happy" That's the truth honestly. It really is.

I can't deny my attraction to her, but as I said, Teddy is my main focus now.

Teddy and my business.

He nods smiling sleepily up at me, "I towds her bout Mommy".

"You did? What did you tell her?" I continue to stroke his hair trying to remain calm.

Oh fuck. What did he say to her?

Could this mean even more drama?

Fuck.

My heart racing and my mind overthinking.

I thought I saw Teddy's name on that piece of paper at the coffee shop but I thought maybe it was just school work.

What if it was more?

"Dat Mommy huwted yous and I no wikes going to her," He says sadly.

"Oh Buddy, I'm sorry, but you know you never have to go to her again okay?" I can feel my heart pull at the strings.

I'm so fucking mad for everything she put us through.

He looks up at me with his big sleepy eyes, "Is you mad I told Ana?".

"Of course not, I'm glad you trust her" I smile at him and I stroke his little cheek, and that's the truth.

Maybe…just maybe…she could help us?

Would she help us?

Now I know Teddy has told her things, maybe I should meet with her…Maybe I should explain things more in detail.

But…I'm afraid she'll judge me.

I don't have to tell her about my past, do I?

But how do I explain Leila without describing my past?

Fuck….I sigh.

I gaze down at Teddy who's simply looking up at me.

My boy, My heart.

"Do you wanna come and sleep with Daddy tonight?"

"Yeaaaaaaaah" He grins excitedly and jumps out from his blanket making me laugh.

I lift him up and carries him into my room, changing and climbing into bed with him.

Holding him against me and he soon drifts off to sleep in my arms.

The rest of that week goes by quickly.

I've been tempted to message Ana, but I haven't.

She hasn't messaged either.

I want to speak to her, I want to see her, but…I don't want to give her hope.

I don't want to lead her on, with everything going on I'm not sure I could allow anything to happen between us, even if I want it to.

She's so beautiful and young and fuck…I wish I could have her.

But she deserves so much better, better than me.

I'm used and torn, broken and scarred…she can do so much better than me.

After Teddy's revelation about telling Ana things, I do need to talk to her.

I need to do this for Teddy, so I've decided to pick him up today.

It's Friday and normally it's Leila, but today. It's me.

I head to work and I swear the time has decided to slow down because of the nervousness I'm feeling deep inside.

I know I'm meeting her for teddy's sake, but something still stirs inside of me.

Something I can't control and it confuses the fuck out of me honestly.

The attraction is there, I know it is.

Fuck, when I saw her at the club my mind reeled with thoughts of us, the thoughts of her.

But I've tried stopping myself.

Fuck, why did she have to be Teddy's teacher?

It's finally 2.30 and I start to make my way over to the school. I pull up outside and I watch as all the children rush out to their parents.

That's when I see him….and her.

She's kneeling in front of him helping him with his backpack.

She really is amazing with him, she's everything anyone could want honestly.

Teddy looks a little nervous, maybe because it's Friday….I hope he knows he'll never have to go with her ever again.

I watch them together, Ana nods to him and pokes his little nose and his lips finally curl into a small smile.

"Mr. Grey…we weren't expecting you" Mrs. Morgan, the main teacher of the class smiles at me and I notice Ana and Teddy's head swipe upwards at the sound of my name.

Her eyes meet mine once again and I feel the familiar shock wave rush through my body.

Shit.

I sigh but smiles.

"Daddy!" Teddy smiles brightly and comes bounding his little feet towards me.

I chuckle and lifts him up kissing his cheek, "Hey Buddy, how was school?!"

"Goods" He smiles and rests his head onto my shoulder clearly relieved to see me and not his mother for the first Friday in a long long time.

I watch as Ana stands and she's wearing a flattering summer dress, she looks so…so…beautiful.

Her cheeks are flushed, I can tell and she's nervous as she pushes her hair behind her ear.

"Hey..Uhm…can we talk?" I say nervously and Mrs. Morgan gives Ana the most baffled look you could imagine.

Oh if only she knew.

"Uhm sure…" Ana nods and follows me out towards the car.

"Hey buddy, you wanna drive Daddy's car for a minute?"

"Yeah!" He grins and I chuckle putting him into the driver's seat, closing the door and his little hands take the wheel.

I close the door so he can't hear us but I know he's enjoying sitting in Daddy's seat.

Then my gaze moves to Ana and she seems somewhat nervous.

Her eyes enticing me in once again.

I wish I could kiss her, just once, just to know what those plump, beautiful, lips taste like.

Shit.

"So…what did you want to talk about?" She bites her lip and..I'm done. I grip the side of car slightly control hoping she doesn't notice.

"Yeah..right… well, Teddy mentioned something to me the other night and…"

"Is everything okay?" She looks a little worried.

She makes my heart clench and my blood move quicker.

What is she doing to me?

"Yeah, he's fine now..thanks to you he's been so much happier" I say honestly, "But he told me that he spoke to you about his Mom…"

"Oh..yeah.." She looks to Teddy who waves to her through the window making her giggle as she waves back.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"He told me he didn't like going with her, that she hurt you and he asked could he come home with me instead the day she came to pick him up".

I simply nod taking in her information.

"I have something to ask you…now you can say No… and I will understand, I just want to get everything I can to have a case against Leila"

She looks at me curiously.

"Of course, what is it?"

"If I need you to speak for Teddy, would you be willing to speak infront of a court and tell them what he's told you?"

I watch as her hands play together, she pushes her hair behind her ear which I'm coming to realize is her nervous trait too.

"Of course I would… listen, I…when Teddy began to open up to me, I got so worried I felt I had to tell someone, this was before I knew you were his Dad. I've already written a statement with all of his words used and I've signed to say that if it goes further, I'll happily stand for him".

This woman, she truly is amazing.

She's going to make someone so happy one day, I wish, I just wish it could have been me.

"Ana…thank you so much… I'll pay you, or anything…"

"There's no need honestly, I care for Theodore and I just want him to be happy, I really don't want or need a reward for doing what's right" She smiles and her hand moves to my arm.

I don't even think she realizes what she's doing…

My eyes widen when she touches me and I feel a shiver run through my entire body.

I wonder if she felt it too.

She quickly pulls her hand away when she comes back to reality, very similar to the way I removed my hand from her cheek that night.

Our eyes meet and she nods slightly, the tension taking a little turn and going a little awkward.

The door pops open and Teddy's little voice comes through the gap.

"Cans Miss…I means, Ana" He grins knowing school is over now and he calls her Ana again. "Cans Ana comes for dinner?"

For her sake, I really think we should keep our distance. I don't want to bring her down.

I don't want to bring her into my fucked up life.

I feel her eyes on me waiting for my answer as I look down at Teddy who has the largest begging eyes possible.

What do I do? I want to….I want to ask her so badly.

But, I need to think of more than just myself.

I need to think of her.

I need to think of Teddy.

Years ago, I'd have taken her home, fucked her, then sent her on her way. But I've changed. That's not me anymore.

She probably wouldn't even say yes anyway.

"I'm sorry buddy, not today okay?" I ruffle his hair gently and he pouts.

"Buts why….." He looks at the both of us sadly and that's when I look at Ana.

I notice her expression has changed slightly.

She actually looks….disappointed?

Is she?

She looks to the ground as her fingers play against each other in front of her, then she looks back up at me with a disappointed smile and no emotion in her eyes.

A small smile that looks very fake like she's hiding her true feelings.

"I'll see you on Monday Theodore"

Teddy nods at her with a sad smile and waves a little before she looks to me, "Goodbye Mr Grey".

That hurts.

Fuck, I feel like she just kicked me in the balls.

Mr. Grey.

Not even Christian.

She'll thank me one day. I'm doing this so she can have the life she deserves with someone not as broken as me.

She turns and walks away from the car, making her way back into the classroom and closes the door behind her without even looking back.

Great.

I feel like an absolute Dick.

I sigh sadly before lifting Teddy out of my seat and puts him into his car seat, then drives away.

I'm not sure I want to go back to the apartment, but I'm not sure I want company either.

I feel like I've just developed a hole. A hole somewhere in my body that makes me feel like something is missing.

"Hey, buddy, how about we go to grandma and grandpa's for dinner?" I look to Teddy with the smallest smile.

"Otays" He nods but he's gazing out of the window.

I already know he's wishing we could have had dinner with Ana.

I know, because I am too.

I sigh sadly and drives to my parent's house.

When we arrive, Teddy receives such a loving welcome as always.

Mom and dad make their usual fuss over him, Mia attempts to annoy me same as always and Elliot is out with some girl, as usual too.

Teddy helps my Mom make burgers and hotdogs and I simply sit in the living room alone.

My hand running through my hair, rubbing at the back of my neck.

My brain bursting with thoughts of her.

She looked so disappointed when I didn't ask her.

Then the way she called me Mr Grey, I was a dick…. I went to her asking for help and with her kind and generous heart she agreed.

Then I blew her off. Again.

I sigh and I put my head in my hands.

"What's wrong Christian?" I'm pulled from my thoughts of her when my Mom's voice comes from beside me and I feel her hand on my shoulder.

"Why is it, every time I think I'm doing right by others, I end up making things worse"

"What did you do?" She smiles sadly.

I sigh and shakes my head. "It doesn't matter now, It's done".

"It's not done, it's making you…well, you haven't been yourself since you arrived. Now, what's happened?"

I look to her, "It's Ana…"

"Miss Steele?"

I nod. "She's amazing…and wonderful…and…and perfect. But she deserves better, she deserves to be happy. I can't give her that".

"And how do you know you can't give her that?"

"Because I'm fucked up Mom…." I look away starting to get annoyed, even with myself.

She sighs and takes my hand, "You deserve to be happy too Christian and I'm sure Ana can make her own decisions, she has her own heart and her own mind" She smiles softly.

"I was terrible Mom, I blew her off again…" I run my hand through my hair.

"I think if you just speak to her…just get to know each other properly, Give each other a chance to talk, she'll understand Christian….you never know, I think you'll be surprised" She gently squeezes my hand and nods encouragingly.

That's all she says before she stands.

She's right I guess. As always.

Why are mother's always right? I sigh.

My eyes watch her head back into the kitchen before I lift, my phone out of my jeans and I look down at the screen, clicking on her name.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe I should just try.

I just don't want to be a disappointment to another person.

I don't want to disappoint her.

I don't want to fuck her life up.

I sigh before turning off my phone and putting it back into my pocket.

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	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11…

I guess that's it then.

I had hoped…

I had thought…

Maybe, just maybe…

I sigh, I'm so stupid.

I thought maybe when he asked me to talk, he was going to ask me to go with him and Teddy again.

I really enjoyed that afternoon and honestly? It's all I've thought about.

The smiles, the laughs, the glances.

I thought maybe….something was there.

But I was wrong.

So so so so wrong.

I'm an idiot and if I could curl under a rock and never be seen again, I would.

He told me he'd pay me for speaking up for Theodore.

Do I really seem like that type of girl?

Do I really look that type?

Someone who has to be paid to help him?

I'm not sure If I should be offended or not honestly.

I understand he's been through a lot, I understand what's happened to Theodore and on some sort of level I know what Christian has been through.

But…

I was just so stupid to think anything could ever happen.

Maybe I'm meant to be stuck with the 'Jack's' of this world.

Maybe my Mom was right, maybe… maybe, love doesn't exist. Maybe the attraction I read about in my books isn't real.

I thought, I really thought the electricity I felt every time he touched me was radiating through him too. I thought the butterflies that I felt when he looked at me would flutter through him too.

But I guess not, I'm just a stupid little girl who needs to grow up and start living in the real world.

"What did he want?" Mrs. Morgan looks at me curiously and I shrug slightly as I make my way around the classroom helping her clean up.

"Oh nothing, just asking about what Theodore told me" I try to push her off with the simple statement and she nods accepting it.

I'm not really up for talking much.

My mind is simply bombarding itself with a billion thoughts.

I'm not good enough.

I'm not pretty.

I'm not confident.

I'm not a size 0.

I don't have an amazing job.

My mother barely cares.

Why would anyone want to be with me?

After helping her clean up I smile making my leave from the classroom and heads towards the office to sign out.

It's the weekend and as usual, I have no plans.

Kate is out with some guy, Jose is away on vacation with his Dad after they canceled his art expo and rescheduled it for next month instead, and I'm stuck here, alone.

I sigh moving to the list where I grab a pen and starts my signature against my name letting them know what time I clocked out, when a voice startles me slightly from behind, pulling me from my negative thoughts.

"You must be Ana, the new girl"

Looking curiously, I turn my head looking over my shoulder as I finish off my signature against the paper.

A young man, around 30 in age I'd say. His dark hair well-groomed along with his beard. His eyes a light green and piercing. His build is muscular and his smile is beautiful.

Wait, what?

"Sorry" He laughs softly and holds out his hand towards me, I look even more curious. "I'm Harry, I'm at the first-grade class" He smiles.

"Oh…it's nice to meet you" my lips curl into a small smile and I take his hand, gently shaking it in greeting. "I'm Ana… but you already know that because you just said my name…" I laugh nervously and awkwardly.

I'm such an embarrassment to myself.

He laughs softly and nods shaking my hand right back, "Candice has been raving about you".

"Wait what?" I smile curiously.

"The children have loved having you here and their parents have been writing in some good reviews about you apparently. Candice is really happy you're here".

Wow, really?

My smile grows and I can feel my cheeks blushing.

"I love being here, I'm so grateful to her for hiring me".

"So, do you think you'll stay here long?"

"I mean, I'd like to hope so, I have an 8-month contract here so far, but I guess it depends if they want to keep me for next year" I smile.

"I think Candice would love to keep you honest, you've been a real asset here" He smiles and I nod appreciatively.

"Thank you. That's nice to hear, and I'm glad…"

"Anyway, I'd better head off, It was nice to finally meet you Ana" He smiles.

"You too Harry, thanks again!".

I smile and watch him leave the office before I make my way out to my car and starts to drive home.

Wanting and needing to keep my negative thoughts away, I spend the rest of my weekend doing things I love.

I sit in the gardens with the sun beating down against my skin while I read Pride and Prejudice.

I make a bunch of Chocolate and Vanilla cupcakes with buttercream icing, sprinkled with rainbow-colored sprinkles.

My Dad absolutely loves them.

I'm a pretty good cook and baker honestly, but that's only because I had to be.

After my Mom left, it's just been me and my Dad, both of us helping out, both of us looking after each other.

He's been amazing though and I have him to thank for everything.

Then, Sunday morning while my Dad is doing his usual Sunday morning gardening, I decided to head to the mall with my newly appreciated paycheck.

I figured I needed some new clothes, maybe some new shoes for the classroom.

I also need to grab a dress for Kate's upcoming birthday night out.

I'm not really a lover of heading out or clubbing, but it's Kate's birthday and I can't say no.

I find myself a beautiful tight body con dress that lands just above my knee. It's a bright red that makes my lips and eyes pop and my curves are completely highlighted as the tight fabric clings to my body.

I feel good, it's not me and it's very different, but I like the way it makes me look.

I decide to buy it because I can.

Working and having money really makes me feel a little better about myself and honestly? This weekend has really allowed me to get more in toned with myself.

Doing things I love, taking my mind off all the negative thoughts. Taking my mind off a certain someone.

It's been pretty good.

I also end up picking up a few dresses, some jeans and some nice tops, and a few pair of comfortable Toms to match.

It's been a good day.

But now, I'm hungry and I make my way to the food court.

I make my way around.

Chicken strips and fries? Ehh…

Subway? Ehhh….

Oooo Pizza sounds good.

I gaze over the menu and decides on a Pepperoni slice and a coke.

As I'm standing there waiting for my order, I start to think again.

I start to think about what the next week will bring.

I decided that what I felt for Christ….I mean, Mr. Grey.

I decided it was a crush and nothing more.

I've decided that my Mom was right and there's no such thing as true love, or love at first sight.

The books I read are simply their interpretation of what they hope would happen, same as me. Everyone hopes for love and everyone hopes for that connection, the spark, the eye light.

But in reality, it doesn't exist.

It was just a crush and I'm moving on with it.

Of course, I'll still be there for Theodore and I will still speak in court for him, but I think maybe it's time I take a step back.

"Ana?" A familiar voice pulls me from my thoughts and when I turn to look at them, she's smiling softly.

"Mrs. Grey…hi…"

Oh gosh, why….

My heart sinks deep into my chest with dread and worry.

"I thought it was you….It's nice to meet you again" She smiles.

"Yeah… uhm..you too" I return the smile. But I feel so awkward.

Suddenly all of my emotions come flooding back like a tsunami through my veins.

Great.

"Shopping day?" She presses the conversation and I nod in reply.

"Yeah…just some bits and pieces, I figured it was time to have out with the old and in with the new" I smile awkwardly referring to my bags.

She laughs softly and nods, "I'm with my daughter Mia, Christian's sister, you're more than welcome to come and join us, sweetheart".

She points over to a girl, whose hair is a dark brown, her eyes are big and bright, her figure is slim and beautiful and her smile is glowing.

She is stunning.

Christian's sister she said?

She looks around my age, and when she sees Mrs. Grey and I both looking over at her, she waves enthusiastically and smiles brightly.

She seems nice enough, but I have to remember, I've decided to take a step back. I can't let myself be disappointed again.

If I befriend his sister that means I'll see him even more than just school pickups.

It's funny though, his Mom invites me for lunch with her, but he never did. I guess it just shows really.

But I have to remain positive, I have to keep looking forward.

Nothing did happen and nothing ever will happen between us and I've accepted that now.

I look back to Mrs. Grey and I smile, "Thank you for the offer but I have to head home soon, maybe I'll see you picking Theodore up sometime?".

"Of course…" She smiles but she seems a little disappointed.

I nod and soon they call out my order and I make my way up to the counter to retrieve my slice of Pepperoni pizza.

Making my body turn ready to go and take my leave but she gently puts her hand on my arm and meets my gaze in pleading, "I know things have been….tough, and I really shouldn't get involved. Goodness knows he can be very, confusing at times, but he's been through so much…just please, if you feel anything for him, try not to give up on him too quickly"

Wait.

What?

Is she talking about Theodore?

I'd never give up on him.

Does she mean?

No, she couldn't be.

Surely she can't be talking about Christian.

Before I can even process of what she said, I nod slightly in shock and confusedness not knowing how or what to respond, but in return, she offers me a small smile before making her way back to her daughter.

Hmm…

That was weird.

I'm stood frozen for a few seconds before I start to head back through the mall eating my slice of pizza making my way back to my car.

_He's been through so much, Try not to give up on him too quickly._

_Try not to give up on him too quickly._

_Try not to give up on him too quickly._

_Try not to give up on him too quickly._

_Try not to give up on him too quickly._

_Try not to give up on him too quickly._

The words circulate through my brain as I drive home.

It circulates through my mind as I shower and as I'm drifting to sleep.

Before I know it, I'm waking to my 6.30 alarm on Monday morning.

Another school week, another paycheck, another day making children smile.

I decide to wear some of my new clothes today.

My navy Toms, a pair of denim jeans and a blue and white flannel shirt.

All nice and comfortable clothing to wear while running after children all day.

I keep myself positive once again as I gather all my things together and I make my way downstairs.

"Morning Dad".

"Good morning Annie, I make you eggs and toast, is that okay?"

"Amazing! Thank you" I smile kissing the top of his head as I take a seat and starts to dig in.

It's absolutely delicious.

"Thanks for Breakfast Dad".

"You're welcome, sweetheart…now I'm heading away for a conference this week, I won't be back until Sunday….are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah I'll be fine" I smile.

"That's my girl, I love you"

"I love you too" He smiles kissing my head before we both make our leave on the road.

I make my way to school and the day goes by pretty quickly.

Theodore seems somewhat more at ease in himself.

Maybe he and Christian finally figured things out with his Mom, and they can both move on with their lives.

But hey, it's not really my issue to be thinking about.

I try to spread myself evenly around the children today, but I notice how Theodore's eyes are always looking for me.

I know I should try to keep my distance, I can't or won't be around for him forever.

But I can't help it, I can't watch him sit there alone and sad.

I sigh and moves to him.

"Hey sweetheart" I smile down at him and his face finally produces a smile.

His little arms move around my leg and he hugs against it.

I feel so emotional, I can feel the tears about to sting my eyes but I push them back.

I gently run my hand through his hair sadly.

"Cans you wead to me An….I mean…Miss Stweele" He looks up at me and I can't help but nod in reply.

"Of course sweetheart, go and choose a book".

His little legs rush over to the bookstand and quickly returns bringing over a book.

I sit down on the floor and he surprisingly sits right next to me as I read to him.

I feel his little head lean against my arm, making me look down at him and when I do, I think my heart could melt into a puddle.

He's smiling, smiling so lovingly it clenches my heart.

He's such an adorable little boy. He doesn't deserve everything he's been through. He deserves to be happy like he is right now.

Maybe, just maybe, Mrs. Grey was right….maybe….she meant Theodore, don't give up on him.

I won't, right now in this moment, I won't ever give up on him.

As for his father? Who even knows.

But if I can keep making this little guy smile, then I'll be happy.

I giggle and gently taps his little nose with my index finger making him laugh with me.

"I wuv you Ana" He whispers low enough so no one else can hear my real name and he says it so quietly when he rests his head back into my arm like as if he didn't want me to hear either.

But, I did.

Oh, my poor heart.

I sigh sadly looking down at the fragile little guy.

"Okay! Time to get our coats and bags! Home time!" Mrs. Morgan sings and all the other children squeal excitedly and run towards the wall where their things hang.

"Come on sweetheart, let's go…" I smile at Theodore and he nods standing, taking my hand as we walk over to the doors.

All the children leave and there's only one car left.

It's his.

Theodore smiles seeing his Dad emerging from the driver's seat and making his way around and into the playground.

He notices me, our eyes meet and there goes my stomach again, filled with butterflies.

This is getting harder, I smile sadly and I look down at Theodore.

"I'll see you, tomorrow sweetheart"

He nods and hugs against my leg once again before making his way towards the door with his little backpack. I watch him go and my heart pounds when I see Christian swoop him up and cuddle him close making him squeal in delight.

I turn and makes my way back through the doorway and heading back into the classroom to start cleaning up.

"Ana" I hear a voice.

"Ana," I think I hear Christian's voice call me, but I'm unsure when there's a knock at the classroom door at the same time.

Was it him calling me?

It couldn't have been.

Why would he?

Harry's head pops around the doorframe and he smiles making his way over.

"Hey, so a few of us are heading out this weekend, I just wanted to ask you and see if you wanted to join us?"

"This weekend? Oh…that would have been wonderful but it's my best friend's birthday I'm sorry".

"Really? that's a shame, maybe we'll see you out though?" His hand moves onto the top of my arm and I look down at where his skin connects with mine.

"Yeah! Maybe! Thanks for the invite though" I smile.

"Yeah, no problem" He smiles and gently squeezes my arm.

I wait for the feeling.

Any feeling.

But it doesn't come, not like the way it comes when HE touches me.

Harry makes his leave after our small conversation.

I have to talk to him.

I need to talk to him.

I can't push it away, I just can't.

There's a feeling, I just want and need to know if he feels it too.

Once Harry makes his leave after our conversation, I rush back to the door hoping he's still there.

But I watch as his door slams closed, Theodore waves through the window at me.

I try to get to the car hoping to catch him before he pulls away but he simply looks at me.

He actually looks at me, he sees me coming but he leaves anyway.

And I watch as his car drives away.

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	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12…

"Ana!"

I smile making my way up to the door after her.

Finally, I think it's time.

It's time to speak to her.

Face to Face.

Just us.

Holding Teddy close to me, I smile bringing him with me for a little bit of support and making him my rock of confidence when I speak.

He'll give me the support I need.

Taylor moves to the car waiting for us as I walk up to the door and I look inside gazing around for her.

Teddy looks up at me smiling brightly as his little arms are around my neck.

I kiss his forehead smiling making him giggle.

I called after her but she didn't seem to hear me and she just continued to walk inside.

I stand now in the doorway and looks to her, and when I do.

Her smile lights up the room, her eyes are glowing.

But it's not me or Teddy she's looking at.

A guy.

A guy is standing there talking with her and suddenly I feel a wave of rage run through my body.

I shouldn't feel it, but I do.

I watch as his hand reaches out to touch her and she smiles.

Are they together now?

What the fuck even is this?

My eyes narrow as I glare watching them.

I'm a fucking idiot for even coming here.

I sigh and I look to Teddy in an attempt to calm me, "Come on buddy, let's go" I kiss his head sighing and I turn to take my leave back towards my car.

I put Teddy into his car seat and straps him in before climbing into the driver's seat and starting the car.

I look up towards the door debating if I should try again.

Debating if I should find out if they're dating now.

To find out if I was a fucking idiot in pushing her away.

But I don't think I want to know the answer, they seemed very…very… smiley.

It makes my heart churn angrily.

Well, what the fuck did I expect? I pushed her away. I told myself not to go there because she deserved better…

Well… guess what? She clearly found better.

It's my own fucking fault, isn't it?

If Teddy wasn't here I'd ram my fist against the steering wheel in an angry temper but he's my rock, he's my calmer, he's my sanity.

I look at him in the mirror and I smile softly.

He's all I need, it's fine.

I don't need anyone else.

I put the car into drive before moving my foot to the gas.

"Ana!" Teddy smiles and waves and honestly? I panic a little.

I don't want to hear the words that she's with someone else already.

Yes, I'm fucking jealous okay but It's my own stupid fucking fault anyway so I have no right to be.

I turn to where Teddy is waving and she's there, clear as day.

She moves towards the car, but I can't stand it, I need to stop this.

I press my foot to the gas and I take my leave.

Whether it's the right thing to do or not, I did it anyway.

I look back in the mirror and she's standing there watching me drive away.

Her face drops and I notice it clear as anything.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"You no wikes Ana?" He asks sadly in an attempt to look over his shoulder at her standing there.

"I do buddy, I do" I sigh.

"Why you dwives way?" He looks to me.

"Because Daddy doesn't want to get hurt anymore," I say quietly.

it's an answer more to myself than Teddy and I'm not even sure he heard me anyway.

"Sir…." Taylor holds up my phone that's ringing on the board in front of him.

I glance over at it as I drive.

Ana…

My heart races a little more as I see her name on my screen.

What if…just what if…

I put my brakes on, safely of course.

And I turn my car around.

My phone stops ringing and suddenly it starts again.

Her name highlighting my screen once more.

My heart pounding now and my hands becoming clammy, she's calling me. Again.

That's got to be a good sign, right?

I pull back up outside of the school hoping she hasn't left yet.

"Can I leave Teddy with you, Taylor?"

"Of course sir" He nods.

"Daddy will be back buddy okay?" I turn in my seat to look at Teddy.

"Cans I come?" He asks excitedly.

I reach back and strokes his little hand, but I agree, maybe having Teddy will break the blow if she's already gone or she refuses my offer.

I smile nodding and I quickly rush out bringing him out of his seat, heading up towards the door but when I knock, the lights are off and there's no one there. I put my hand against the glass ridding the shining of the sun in an attempt to get a better look, but nope, there's no one there.

Great.

Shit.

Fuck.

I run my free hand through my hair in frustration.

Teddy looks up at me sadly and I gently kiss the tip of his nose.

"Come on buddy, let's go home" I smile sadly before making my way back to my car.

I can try again another time I guess.

I'll talk to her, maybe tomorrow?

I could call her, but I think this should be done face to face. Not over the phone.

I sigh but shakes it off as I put Teddy back into his car seat.

Driving home seems like a lifetime when there are a million regrets rushing through my brain.

I carry Teddy up to our apartment and orders pizza for us, then I bath him and puts him to bed.

I sit in his room for a little while gently stroking his back as he sleeps peacefully.

Gazing down, I simply watch him. My love for him filling my entire body.

I just want him to be happy.

I want to be happy.

I gently kiss the top of his head before I take my leave from his room.

"..Mr. Grey?" Gail smiles at me from the kitchen.

"Evening Mrs. Jones" I smile at her in greeting talking simply as I start to make my way to my room.

"Sir, your phone went off on the counter" She smiles and holds it out towards me.

I look curious and I take the phone.

1 missed call.

1 voice mail.

Ana.

My eyes widen a little in shock and I suddenly feel a clench in my heart.

She makes me feel things I have never ever felt before, it's strange.

Very very strange.

I look to Gail and she's simply smiling at me as she wipes a cloth across the counter cleaning.

"She's a lovely girl Mr. Grey"

Great, does everyone know?

Am I that obvious?

I simply nod at her and I take my phone into my room and presses my fingers against the voicemail.

_'Hi Christian, or Mr. Grey, It's Ana, but you probably already know that, unless you already deleted my number….I don't even know why I'm calling really because you've already ignored me three times now, I kinda get the message I guess…I just don't understand…. I was coming to talk to you….I just wanted to ask you something….but you blew me off, again….You just drove away. Are you that disgusted by me or something? I know I'm not the prettiest, or the skinniest, or the most successful person in the world but I thought…I just thought…maybe…_

_Nevermind, just forget it…just ignore everything I've just said, it's only the wine talking, I'm not drunk, nor am I an alcoholic if that's what you're thinking, I've just had a couple of glasses after a really long day….. anyway, whatever…. goodbye Mr. Grey, I hope you and Theodore get things sorted and I wish you both all the happiness' _

The line goes dead.

Shit.

Her voice, it seemed so sad, disappointed, coarse.

Wine? Is she drinking?

I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

Disgusted by her? Not pretty? How could she ever think that?

She's stunning and she has no idea what she's done or is doing to me every single fucking time I lay eyes on her.

It fucking scares me the effect she has on me.

I look at my watch. 9.30pm.

I rush back into the kitchen, "Mrs. Jones, If I leave Taylor with you, would you mind just keeping an eye out for Teddy for me? I won't be long, I just have to rectify a situation".

"Of course sir" Her smile grows knowingly, "Good luck…"

I simply nod and I rush down to my car climbing in and heading to her street.

Now there's the problem.

I can't remember which fucking house is hers.

I drive up, thinking it's the cream one, but I'm not 100%, it was dark that night and my mind wasn't concentrating on anything but her.

I drive back down the street and stop outside the same cream-colored house.

I'm pretty sure it's hers.

Fuck, I can feel the clamminess of my hands.

I am sweating.

I pull out my phone and begins to call her but it rings out.

I try again, but it rings out.

Shit.

What if she has company now?

What if that dick at the school is in there with her?

I didn't think this through.

I sit in my car staring up at the house trying to build up the courage to get out and actually make my way up to the door.

Okay, Christian, it's now or never.

I climb out of the car closing the door behind me and I make my way up the small path towards her house.

It's a small, cute little family house, the porch equipped with a small lantern and a bench placed overlooking the garden.

I'm stood right in front of the door now, I take a deep breath and I knock.

Fuck, my heart is pounding.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And….fuck.

My eyes almost fall out of their sockets when she opens the door and stands in front of me.

Her legs on show thanks to her light blue pajama shorts.

My eyes rake from her toes, upwards. landing on her white tank top.

Then my gaze moves further up to her eyes.

Her eyes are wide in shock and her wine glass goes tumbling to the ground, luckily landing on the small carpet beneath it. keeping it fully intact.

"Ch-Christian?" Her voice is nervous and completely in shock.

Her cheeks turn a bright red and I watch as she shuffles behind the door slightly embarrassed at her attire.

"Ana…"

"I thought you were the pizza guy" She admits and bites her lips awkwardly and looks down towards the ground.

She's nervous.

So nervous.

But so am honestly.

Even more so now with what she's wearing, fuck.

Calm Christian, Calm.

My gaze moves behind her and I see a bottle of wine on the table almost empty and the tv making a small sound through the house.

Her living room is quiet and quaint and homely, exactly how I expected it to be. Exactly like her.

"Do you have company?" I look back to her and fuck she is so beautiful, I have been an absolute dickhead.

She simply shakes her head and looks up at me, she bites that lip of hers once again and I'm done.

I can't resist her any longer.

Her pajamas, her body, her lustful looking gaze enticing me in everything I gaze into them, getting lost in the abyss of piercing blue.

I take her by surprise and I cup her cheek moving forward gently placing my lips against hers.

Finally.

Fuck.

Finally.

Our lips move as one, molding together.

I can taste the wine against hers, but it's divine.

It's what I need, what we both need.

I run my tongue along her bottom lip encouraging her lips to part for me and they do. Our tongues dancing in unison, nothing rushed, nothing needing, just slow and calm and finally, it's everything we both wanted.

I'm taken by surprise when her hand moves up and runs through my hair. Suddenly I find myself inside the doorway and she's closing the door behind us.

I smile against her lips and I slowly pull back, my hand still cupping her cheek as I gaze down watching her, looking for her reaction.

Her eyes are still closed, her head tilted slightly to the side leaning into my touch.

Her lips are slowly curling into a smile and finally, I know.

I know I made the right decision.

Her eyes slowly open and she looks up at me, her eyes so piercing and caring.

"Wh-What are you doing here?"

"Well…I believe you wanted to talk and ask me something" I chuckle as I see her cheeks turn even redder.

"I'm sorry….I had a couple of drinks, I was just so stressed"

I chuckle shaking my head and my thumb strokes across her cheekbone.

"Don't apologize, Ana, I've been an Ass, and I am sorry…"

Her smile grows even more and it makes my heart expand.

Teddy was right.

My Mom was right.

Even Gail was right.

Now I'm here, Now we're face to face, Now I have her so close to me with a smile against her lips.

Now I've tasted her lips, I never want to lose them.

Now I know, this is what I've been missing.

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I know a few of my readers are amidst Dorian right now, so I'm dedicating this chapter to you guys. Hoping to shed a little bit of hope and light to you all during the dark times of the storm. I hope you're all safe and well and my thoughts are with you.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13...

I was there watching a movie. A sad sad movie about love and loss.

I called him, I just wanted to ask him why. Why he drove away.

Why he keeps looking at me the way he does, but then leaves me wanting, needing, feeling useless.

But then, there's a sympathy deep down, he's been through so much. Well, they both have. I can't exactly be mad at him, I should just accept that things like this don't happen like the movies or my novels. Just like my mother said.

He's probably got a wall up, a wall he doesn't want to tear down. He's been hurt badly, he has a past that haunts him, I can see that, I know enough. But I want to know more. I want to know why. I want to know what he's been through.

His ex, Theodore's Mom has managed to put him in hospital with a head wound. She's been arrested and he's currently in a battle to ensure she never sees little Theodore again.

I don't know the full background, of course, I'm sure there's more to it, but that's what I know so far and honestly? I feel for them. I hope that one day, they both find the happiness they need and deserve.

I keep my eyes focussed

I ordered pizza about 45 minutes ago and it should be here any second now. I lean towards the table and pours myself another glass of wine until I'm torn away by a knock at the door. I stand quickly, taking the glass with me.

Pizza! Finally, I am starving!

I open the door and I swear my eyes could almost pop out of my head.

It's definitely not the pizza guy.

I accidentally drop my glass but luckily the carpet cushions the fall, but the stain.

Oh my gosh, the stain. But I can't focus on that right now.

"Ch-Christian?" My voice crippled with nerves and surprise. What on earth is he doing here?

I already feel my cheeks burning.

I look down and suddenly I remember what I'm wearing and I attempt to hide behind the door, but his eyes I've noticed have already raked my entire body.

Great.

I am so embarrassed.

"Ana..." The way he says my name is like music to my ears. It's so husky, so manly, so...sexy.

I bite my lip nervously as I try to rid the thoughts. Why did I drunk that wine. Gosh.

"I thought you were the pizza guy" I look down as I feel my emotions running wild within me.

It's silent for a moment.

Too silent.

When I look up I see his gaze move past me and into my living area where the sad romantic movie is continuing its assaults to make me cry, my bottle of wine placed oj the table and my blanket laid out that only 2 minutes ago I was curled up in.

Great.

What on earth must he be thinking?

Yes, I'm sad and lonely okay, it's been a tough day, I curse myself internally.

"Do you have company?" I look curious when he asks.

What does he think?

Does he think someone is here?

Maybe he means my Dad.

A bottle of wine and a movie? Surely he doesn't think I'm entertaining a guy in here, this is my hole of loneliness after a tiresome and stressful day.

I look back to him and I bite my lip, confused by what he's doing here. I shake my head in answer to his question and with that, I'm taken completely by surprise.

Am I dreaming?

Is this really happening?

I'm too afraid to open my eyes in fear that this is all a dream.

The way his hand feels against my skin igniting my entire body. Feeling a rush of heat float right through the entirety of my veins.

His hands at my cheeks.

I'm so inexperienced at this, yes I've kissed guys before. Mainly Jack, but that was always kind of...awkward.

But this...This is completely different.

The way his tongue runs along my bottom lip. The way they're so soft, so gentle, so...enticing.

Yes enticing.

Oh my gosh, I am completely and utterly in awe of him.

My hands instinctively move at their own accord and end up running through his hair, my fingertips gently stroking through as I allow my lips to part for him.

I move us inside and I close the door behind us as the kiss continues for a little while longer.

His tongue gently flicks against mine and I swear I feel my legs go numb at the contact. I've turned to Jelly.

He dominates the kiss and I'm terrified that I'm an awful kisser. But I follow his lead and I play my tongue against his in the same way he does mine. It feels absolutely divine.

It feels right.

Once the door is closed, I feel him smile against my lips and my heart is done for.

He gently pulls back away from me and gazes down into my eyes. He has me hooked, lined and sinkered.

I bite my lip nervously, but I'm still too afraid to open my eyes in fear that all of this is going to disappear. That as soon as I open my eyes I'm going to wake up alone with my bottle of wine and my blanket.

But I still feel his hand against my skin and my head tilts instinctively to lean into his embrace. He's definitely still there. I can feel his warm touch.

The want and need to be closer to him growing deep within the pit of my stomach.

My lips slowly curl into the smallest of dreamy smiles. I still can't believe that just happened.

Christian, of all people.

Here at my porch, his lips were on mine.

His hand still on my cheek as I gaze up into his enticing and piercing grey eyes.

I'm completely taken by him. Now our lips have met, I don't think anyone could ever make me feel the way he just did in the last 20 seconds.

"wh-what are you doing here?" I say, my voice barely even a whisper still in shock.

"Well...I believe you wanted to talk and ask me something" He chuckles but I just want to curl up into a ball at that statement.

The voicemail. That's why he came. That damned voicemail. I can't believe I even did that honestly, like why?

My cheeks burn with embarrassment and my eyes dip down towards my feet in pure shame. He chuckles again gently stroking his thumb across my cheekbone making me look back up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry...I had a couple of drinks, I was just so stressed"

His thumb continues its assault on my cheek and I swear my cheek is igniting with fire under his touch. It's something I've never felt before. It's like electricity.

Similar to the way he made me feel at the club, or in his car. But now after that kiss, it's intensified by a thousand bolts.

"Don't apologize, Ana, I've been an ass, And I am sorry..."

I smile softly and I shake my head. My hand lifting and resting over the top of his.

"You've been through a lot...I understand..."

He shakes his head, "There's no excuse for my behavior Ana...I was afraid, Afraid of being hurt, being rejected... At the time I didn't want to put myself through any of that again. But then today...I saw you standing there watching me drive away, it changed something in me. I know deep down, you'll never do that to me. That's why I came back to speak with you but by the time I turned my car around you had already gone..."

Wait. What?

Of course, I would never ever hurt him. I know enough to realize that he and Theodore need all the love and care they can get. But even when I didn't know, even when I didn't know these things or what he had been through, this man had me captured from the moment I saw him that night.

The moment he protected me.

The moment he touched me.

The way he makes my stomach flutter when he laughs, or when he gazes deep into the abyss of my eyes.

But I'm still in shock, I can't believe he came back.

"You came back?" I am genuinely surprised.

"I did, but you had gone, the lights were off...I had to take Teddy home. I fed him, bathed him...and I ended up sitting there just watching him while he slept, I left my phone in the kitchen, I didn't realize you had called otherwise I would have answered. My housekeeper, who I believe you've already met, she passed my phone to me and that's when I heard your voicemail. I felt awful and I am sorry..."

He keeps apologizing but he shouldn't have to. He's here now.

I can't believe he's here now.

I gently squeeze his hand and shakes my head, "I'm sorry about the voicemail...I shouldn't have..." He cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine once again, smiling against my lips and reciprocate the gesture.

"Stop apologizing," He says against my lips.

Then there's a small knock at the door.

Oh gosh, the real pizza guy.

Christian looks curiously at the knock and I move opening it taking the pizza, I rush inside to grab the money, the money I put on the table next to my wine, ready to pay. But by the time I return the door is closed and the pizza guy is already gone.

I raise an eyebrow curiously and Christian simply smirks at me, "An apology gift".

"You paid for my pizza?" I am in even more shock.

What is even going on.

"It's nothing...really" I can tell he's a little nervous but I simply take a step closer towards him trying to be brave, even though my heart is beating a hundred miles per hour.

"Here..." I hand him the 20 dollars but he shakes his head smiling.

"Nope, it was my treat to you..."

"But I..."

"No buts..." He smiles gazing into my eyes once again.

"Fine...thankyou, I really appreciate it" My cheeks turning their usual blush as always when he's around. I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"You're welcome" He smiles and with his sigh, he sighs softly.

"Do you want to come in? I won't eat a large pizza by myself, it was just in the meal deal" I say as I bite my lip and I watch his gaze move to where my teeth are running along the redness of my bottom lip.

He must be pulled from whatever he was thinking and he looks back up to my eyes, "I would love to, but I should get back to Teddy..."

"oh yeah.. of course, Okay...how...uh...how is he doing?" I smile trying to make conversation suddenly feeling even more nervous as the small talk begins.

We've just kissed for goodness sake and I'm an almost shaking mess. I have no idea what else I'm supposed to say after what just happened.

But the tension between us is something I've never witnessed. It's something you'd see in the movies or a novel, its weird. just as I'm beginning to accept that love in the movies and the novels that I hold so dear to me, doesn't exist, he comes at me like a wrecking ball taking me back to the girl who longed for a love just like her novels.

"He's doing much better, you really have brought out the best in him Ana over the last couple of weeks and I can't thank you enough..."

"It's nothing really...it comes with the job I guess" I smile trying to brush off the compliment.

"It goes deeper than that" He gives me a small smile and his hand goes back to my cheek.

I know it goes deeper than that. He said it so quietly for me not to hear but I did, I did hear his little voice as he rested his head against my arm. Theodore told me he loved me and it was the most heart-melting moment of my life.

Christian's hand moves back to my cheek and my eyes seem to close once again at the contact.

I feel his thumb stroke across my cheek once again and my eyes open to find him smiling.

"What you said in your voicemail, wasn't true..."

"Wh-What?" I look confused.

I can't even remember what I said.

"You are beautiful Ana..." He whispers as he leans down and kisses my forehead as a goodbye gesture. "I'll see you tomorrow"

Oh my gosh, there goes my legs again and my lips curling into a smile as I nod.

He must be bringing Theodore to school or picking him up.

I'm kind of excited, is that weird?

He takes my hand just as he turns to open the door and our hands gently slip out of each other's grasp as he moves further away from me.

Leaning against my front door watching him make his way down the porch steps and along the path back towards his car., I'm in dreamland and I'm still waiting to wake up and all of this be just a dream.

"What are you doing on Friday?"

"Friday? working" I smile.

"Friday evening? "

"Nothing..." I say hopefully. Maybe a little too hopeful.

"Keep it free..." He gives me a small smile and I nod as he opens his car door.

He climbs in and gives me a small smile before driving away and once he's out of sight I close my door.

Leaning against the back of my front door, my mind starts to reel and attempts to process what exactly just happened.

My lips producing the biggest smile that they have done in years, honestly.

I feel, like, I feel like a weight has been lifted. Like some of the negativity I've been carrying around for years has slowly started to disappear.

I gaze down at myself and then mentally curse myself for wearing this. Like seriously? I just answered the door to Christian in my pajama shorts and a tank top.

But I remember the look in his eyes, I don't think he minded too much.

I can't believe he kissed me. He actually kissed me.

My fingertips trail along my bottom lip where I can still feel him there.

I have never ever kissed anyone like that. I have never felt like that with anyone either.

He ignited my whole being, body, heart, and soul with a single kiss.

Friday, Keep it free he said.

Hmm...I'm intrigued.

I'm excited.

I'm wondering.

I'm overthinking.

I'm worrying.

I'm nervous.

I'm enlightened.

I'm happy.

I'm a mixture of a million emotions right now.

But mainly, I'm consumed.

I'm consumed by him, and now I don't think there's any going back.

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Guys! I am so sorry about the lack of updates! My laptop had to be taken in for repair and I still haven't had it back yet. I'm using a replacement for now so until my Laptop comes back, my updates will be a little scattered. It's being returned this week and then you can expect the regular updates as before.

Thank you for all sticking around though and the amazing reviews you've all been making on this story so far, I hope you will continue to enjoy as I continue to update! Thank you again!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14…

_'Sorry for interrupting your pizza and wine time, I hope you sleep well x' _

_'You certainly took me by surprise Mr. Grey, but I guess I'll forgive you, sweet dreams. _

_P. s sorry about the voice mail, I'm so embarrassed' _

_'Hopefully, I'll keep surprising you, Miss Steele. Stop apologizing about the voice mail, it's what made me realize what a fool I've been and made me come to you ;) ' _

_'Even more embarrassed now! Haha, Goodnight Christian' _

_'Goodnight Ana x' _

Was the conversation we had just as I climbed into bed after checking on Teddy who was still fast asleep.

A smile on my face.

I haven't smiled like this In such a long time.

What is she doing to me?

I haven't had this attraction with anyone, none of the girls from my past.

The way her lips felt against mine, the way our tongues played against each other.

The way she tilted her head into my hand embracing my touch.

None of the women from my past ever made me feel the way she did last night. I honestly don't know what got into me but I couldn't help but take her into my arms and kiss her with everything I have.

I rarely kissed the women from my past, and even when I did, there was nothing.

No emotion.

No draw.

No passion.

But Ana….she was so…so different.

She is so different.

I was worried about going to see her, worried about the rejection, but after what occurred I am so glad I built up the courage to go in.

I'm not normally the nervous type, especially around women, but since I've changed. Since I wanted to be a better man for Teddy. To make a better life for us. After he was born I didn't consider a relationship what so ever, not even with Leila.

But now, I can't deny the touch of hope I have with this girl.

I climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep quite quickly, which is also a rarity for me.

I'm feeling good, positive and full of life.

"Daddy"

I feel a poke against my cheek and the sun shining through my curtains and into my eyes.

Hearing the small giggle of my handsome little man in front of me, as he pokes my cheek and then onto my nose when I don't wake up.

"Mmm….." Reaching over, lifting him onto the bed with me as I cuddle him close against my chest and starts to tickle his sides.

"Aaaahh Daddy!" He giggles more, wriggling against my blankets before I stop my tickling assault and he turns cuddling into me.

I smile kissing the top of his little head.

"Morning Buddy, did you sleep well?" He nods smiling. "Ready for breakfast?".

He nods smiling, "Gail aweady mades it!"

"She did? What did she make?"

He makes the most innocent little thinking face before he shrugs making me chuckle.

"Come on let's go" I smile pulling on a shirt and I carry him out to the kitchen.

"Good morning Mrs. Jones"

"Morning Mr. Grey, hungry?"

"Starving" I grin kissing Teddy's cheek as I sit down with him and I hold him close.

Mrs. Jones places two plates in front of us filled with pancakes and eggs.

"Ooooo" Teddy's eyes widen, pancakes being his favorite.

"Thanks, Mrs. Jones, you're amazing"

"Fank you Gail" Teddy smiles up at her before digging in.

He seems so much happier lately, so much more, childlike. Smiley, carefree and happy.

I'm honestly so glad.

Since they arrested Leila after the assault, they kept her in which means he hasn't seen her for a while now and I think that's had a huge positive impact on him.

Not to mention the way he's befriended Ana too. I know she's not a child of his age and he should be making friends. But honestly? I couldn't make friends at his age either.

Hell, I still can't.

I'm just glad that he's made a bond with someone. Someone so trustworthy, helpful and caring.

Someone I hope, maybe, will become a part of both our lives.

"How did last night go Mr. Grey?" Mrs. Jones asks as she starts to clean up the dishes. She seems to like Ana.

Leila on the other hand, she hated her from day one.

"It went well…." I say a little awkwardly.

"Good" She simply smiles and leaves it at that, "Oh…the mail came too" She gestures to the end of the counter before making her exit from the kitchen, leaving me and Teddy to our breakfast.

Two letters.

Hmm…

I open them both and I simply sigh at the first.

Trial in court next Wednesday at 10 am.

Great.

Then I open the second and my eyes widen.

Holy shit.

A deal with china in the bag. They want a meeting to sign the contract on Monday.

My business has just taken a step up in the world.

When I say a step, I mean, this is huge….with this deal…. I'm officially a billionaire.

I've been working on this deal for months now and finally, finally, they've agreed.

I look down to Teddy smiling brightly.

I made it, I made it for us.

I made it for him.

He's going to have the best life I can give him.

Teddy looks up at me with his big bright Grey eyes that match my own and I know, I know it's all been worth it.

My business has made it, it's in the world just how I wanted it to be.

Teddy and I have made it.

I just need to make sure now that Leila will never see him again.

I pick up the court letter rereading it.

I'm sure everyone involved has received one too. Maybe even Ana.

Next Wednesday…

Next Wednesday is make or break.

I kiss the top of Teddy's head as I hold him close to me.

"Wuv you Daddy"

My heart, he is my heart.

"I love you too Buddy" I smile more.

Friday with Ana, Monday signing the contract with China and Wednesday the court hearing.

By next Friday, hopefully….just hopefully, our lives will take a huge turn for the better.

I pull out my phone and I dial my Mom.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Christian darling"

"Hey Mom"

"How are you? How is my handsome Teddy?"

Teddy giggles hearing her.

"We're both fine….did Dad get his mail this morning?"

"Oh I'm not sure…I'll ask him" It goes silent for a moment then I hear their faint voices in the background.

"He did…next Wednesday?"

"Yeah…."

"How are you feeling about it?"

"I just hope we win Mom…I don't know what I'll do if she even gets given an inch, you know?"

"I know darling, but your Dad says we have a great case, the video evidence, the statements…and Ana, Teddy's teacher…"

"I hope so…" I say smiling and kisses the top of Teddy's head. "Speaking of Ana, are you busy Friday evening?"

"I don't think so, I'm only working until 4…why darling?"

"Could you have Teddy just for a couple of hours? Ana and I are heading for Dinner…."

I know she's smirking the other end of the phone. I don't even need to see her face to know.

"Of course Darling, I'd love to have him". She says simply, knowing not to prod too much. But I can hear the smile and excitement in her voice.

"Thanks, Mom"

"No problem darling, we love having him"

"He loves being with you too….anyway, I better get him ready for school, we'll see you later for dinner?"

"Yes! We'll see you later, tell Teddy it's his favorite again, spaghetti"

Teddy hears and gives a Yayyyyyy making us both laugh at his little outburst.

"I think he's excited".

We love going over there every week, especially Teddy. It's the only day all of us can be together, including Elliot.

Mom laughs a little more, "We'll see you later my darlings…..and Christian? I'm so happy for you"

I know she's referring to Ana and it's her way of showing her excitement.

After breakfast I get Teddy ready for school, I get ready for work and Taylor as usual, sits in the back of the car as I drive towards the school.

Now this deal has officially gone through and my rank has raised, I just know the media are going to go fucking crazy for this shit.

Today, when I get to work, my main aim is hiring even more security for Teddy and me, my family and anyone else I make contact with.

I soon pull up to the school and I climb out bringing Teddy with me, making our way up towards the doors hand in hand.

There she is.

Her usual spot when the children arrive.

She's still so beautiful.

The memories of last night plaguing my mind once again.

I can feel her lips back on mine, I can feel the way her skin caused electricity to run through my veins.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Teddy hugs my leg and I look down at him chuckling.

"Bye Buddy, I'll see you after school okay?" I kneel to his level and I run my hand through his little tuft of hair.

He nods and moves to make his way inside with his little backpack.

I'm so proud of him.

Surprise Surprise he goes straight to Ana and it makes me laugh even more.

I stand back up and smiles watching him with her until suddenly I meet her gaze and I notice as her cheeks blush a lovely shade of pink. Same as they always do.

She pushes her curl behind her ear looking down shyly, then smiling and looking back up at me.

"How was the pizza?" I tease her.

"It was good" she giggles softly, her cheeks deepening in color.

Her laugh though, fuck it's wonderful.

"Still okay for Friday?"

She nods and I do the same.

"Good…" Now I feel nervous, Fuck. We both gaze at each other for a moment before I hear the voice of Mrs. Morgan summoning all the children to the carpet.

"Come on sweetheart lets go," Ana says smiling down at Teddy and he reaches up for her hand which she willingly takes.

Lucky lucky boy.

I'm joking.

But how I wish I could do that with her too.

I watch them both walk away and out of view, Taylor moves into his usual spot in the classroom and I make my way to my car.

The rest of the week turns out to be very similar.

Ana and I texted almost every day, I took Teddy to school. I picked him up.

The only difference was that I know the police visited Ana on Wednesday for a statement before the evidence in court.

Yes, she got a letter too.

She texted me to let me know how it went and it all seems very positive.

I hope this works out in our favor this time.

But now, it's Friday and I'm nervous as fuck.

I barely slept.

I've never really done the dating thing and I'm starting to regret even asking her.

What am I supposed to do?

Dinner? Okay, but what do I talk about for that long?

I want to get to know her, but I'm afraid of what will happen once she gets to know me. I fear once she finds out about my past she'll run for the hills.

Maybe she'll do the whole movie theme, go to the bathroom, climb out the window and never return.

It happens, I've seen it in the movies.

I know I'm being ridiculous, but she makes me feel so….so…unlike me.

I'm normally confident and determined but when it comes to her, Everything fails.

I just hope it goes okay.

Teddy seems a little quiet and sniffly today. He sneezed a couple of times but he seems to be okay.

I asked him did he feel well, and did he feel like going to school today and his reply was "Wants to see Ana".

I just hope he's not coming down with something.

Taylor and Gail take Teddy to school for me this morning so I can get all my work done by 3 and be home in time to pick Teddy up. I'm so grateful for them honestly. They're like an extended family.

With the official contract meeting coming up on Monday, I need to make sure everything is ready before I leave today.

The day is going so slowly.

I'm at work but I can't concentrate.

My mind keeps thinking of her, thinking of our kiss.

Will she kiss me tonight?

Will she even stick around if she finds out about my past?

Should I tell her about my past?

If I don't, would she find out in the future, if things work out between us?

If….If….If….

Maybe it won't work out.

Maybe all this is for nothing.

I sigh running my hand through my hair.

Then the thoughts of my past start reeling through my mind.

My real Mom.

Her pimps.

Foster care.

School.

Elena.

The women.

The alcohol.

The drugs.

Everything I used to do.

I've been such a fuck up my whole life until Teddy was born.

I just hope I don't fuck up tonight.

I continue to work in my office until suddenly my iPhone starts to vibrate on the desk.

'Kindergarten'

Why is the school calling me?

I look at the time, 1.23pm.

That's weird.

"Hello?"

"Is this Christian Grey?"

"Yes? Is everything okay? Is it Teddy?"

"This is Mrs. Morgan, Teddy's teacher…we've just had lunch and he is feeling a little unwell…is there anyone to collect him? Teddy's security tried calling the house but there was no answer"

Shit.

Gail is probably out on the Grocery shop, she does that every Friday. That's why there's no answer.

Taylor doesn't have the car at the school.

Mom and Dad are at work.

Fuck.

"Is he okay? How unwell?"

I start to panic.

"There's been a flu bug going around sir, a few children have been off with the same symptoms, nothing to worry about," She says calmly.

Okay….Okay…

"I'll be right there, I'm just leaving work, Thankyou for calling"

"Yes sir, we'll see you soon"

I hang up and hurry out the door, putting Ros in charge and making my way to the car.

I rush the entire way to the school and up to the doors.

I gently knock against the window and Ana walks towards me opening the door. Teddy in her arms, nuzzled into her neck, pale and sleeping. His backpack and his jacket in her one hand and her other gently making soothing circles on his back.

She's so good with him, fuck. I'm so grateful she's here in his class with him.

"How is he?" I say worriedly.

"He'll be okay…just some rest and some medicine and he'll be fine by Monday I'm sure".

"Thank you for looking after him," I say giving her a small smile but my worry clearly showing through.

"No need to thank me….do you want me to bring him down to the car?"

"He looks comfy there…I don't think he wants to move" I chuckle and she nods smiling, her cheeks once again blushing.

She smiles and follows me down to the car. I unlock it and I open the door for her, to which she gently lays him into his car seat.

The worry evident on my face and she must notice because I feel her hand on my arm and she smiles softly, "Hey…it's just the flu, he'll be okay"

I nod simply and finally looks from Teddy's pale and clammy face to her beautiful blue eyes.

"Thanks again, Ana…"

"It's fine, I hope he gets better soon…. don't worry about tonight, we can reschedule?"

I internally sigh, a little disappointed.

"Yeah…thankyou…I'll text you later?"

Ana smiles and nods in agreement before I climb into the car and I take my leave. I decide to take him to the Doctor's before heading home, just to be on the safe side.

He does have the flu, but he'll be okay. Thank Goodness.

When I take him home, I give him some medicine, water and I lay him in my bed cuddled up with me, wanting to keep him close.

It might be just the flu, but he's my entire world and I'll always worry.

Teddy stays asleep cuddled into me and I pull my phone out of my pocket calling my Mom but it goes straight to voicemail.

Of course, she's still at work.

"Hey Mom….don't worry about tonight. I've just had to pick Teddy up from school, he's not feeling well so I'm just going to stay home with him. We'll see you tomorrow, bye…"

Then I hang up.

The hours pass and suddenly, I find myself stirring and waking up.

Fuck, I didn't realize I fell asleep.

I look down at Teddy who's little eyes are awake but he's still pretty hot.

"Hey, hows my boy?" I kiss his head.

"Otays" He cuddles closer.

"Shall Daddy get you something to eat or drink?"

"uice pwease" He sniffles from his runny nose.

I take a tissue wiping his little button nose before I move into the kitchen and pours him a tumbler of orange juice and a few biscuits just in case he feels a little hungry.

_'How's the little guy doing? X ' _

I smile seeing a text from Ana.

_'He's just woken up, he'll be okay… just a little hot and sniffly. I'm sorry about tonight x ' _

_'Good, he'll be better in no time…and don't apologize it's okay :) x ' _

_'You're more than welcome to come around ours tonight?… if you'd like to? Flu or not I'm sure Teddy wouldn't say no to a slice of pizza or Chinese food x'_

_'I can if you want me to? X' _

If I want her too… fuck. I do.

_'Of course, It's only fair you come and barge into my home after me coming to yours ;) I think teddy would love seeing you too' _

_'HA HA! I'd love to come…what's your address and what time? X' _

_'I'll get Taylor to pick you up at 6, we'll see you soon :) x' _

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The laptop is fixed and back in possession! Woooo! Expect more regular updates from now on!

Next chapter: Ana visits!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15…

Oh my goodness.

I am so incredibly and unbelievably nervous right now.

He invited me to his house.

Why on earth did I agree to this?

I feel my hands shaking as I get dressed into a plain and simple navy sundress I got at the mall.

If we were still going out as we had planned, I would have made more of an effort, I had planned a little black dress and heels, but as It's just his house and little Theodore isn't feeling too well, I figured a simple dress is quite sufficient.

I'm making an effort, but not too much effort. I still want to look nice in front of him.

Although….he has seen me in my pajamas and yes I'm still so embarrassed about that.

Moving to the mirror, I add a bit of makeup, just to make a little more of an effort before standing back gazing at myself in the reflection.

What on earth is happening to me?

I bite my lip before making my way downstairs.

"Dad, I'll see you later…"

"Okay sweetheart, make sure to text me just so I know you're okay…"

"I will! Bye Dad".

I make my way outside and as promised, a black SUV with blackout windows is pulling up and parking right at the end of my path.

"Taylor right?" I smile at the familiar intimidating security man as he opens the door for me and I slip inside.

He's a good driver, but I can barely think about anything thanks to the nervousness striking through my entire body...

I feel as though my heart is going to come ripping through my skin from the way it's beating so roughly inside of my chest.

Playing my hands against each other in my lap nervously, as I gaze out of the window.

"We're here Miss Steele"

Miss Steele.

Hmm..he's very professional.

He opens my door and I climb out, my eyes widening at the large tall building in front of me.

"H-He lives here?"

"Yes, Miss Steele" He replies but I notice the small smile on his face, clearly amused by my reaction.

Gazing up at the building once again, I'm even more nervous now.

I feel way too underdressed to even walk inside.

I follow Taylor inside and we walk into an elevator.

He taps in a few numbers and it starts to move.

It's clearly a building full of wealthy tenants.

Is it acceptable to just slip away and pretend like I was never here?

My heart is pounding even faster now and I genuinely believe it'll rip through my ribs.

My breathing a little more rapid and the doors open, revealing the most exquisite, pristine, beautiful and mesmerizing apartment.

A fire glow in the center surrounded by with what looks like the comfiest couch in the world.

Toys scattered here and there.

The whole of the city skyline in the view from the windows.

My eyeballs could pop out of my head, I'm in complete awe.

It's beautiful.

"Ana…" Christian smiles making his way from the kitchen and towards the elevator doors when he hears the ping of the arrival.

I notice him chuckling and I finally turn to look at him.

"You live here?" I ask with so much shock and surprise lacing my voice.

"I do… surprised?"

"Oh my gosh yes…I… how?"

He chuckles some more and hands me a small glass of wine.

"I own my own company… I had a little help when I first moved in, I've been paying monthly for it since…It's not quite the penthouse suite, but it's nice. Maybe one day I'll own the penthouse" He laughs more.

"That's amazing….This is amazing…." Gesturing to the apartment before I take a sip of the wine and it's delicious.

"Daddy?" A quiet little voice comes from the hallway leading down to the bedrooms, followed by a little sneeze and a cough.

Rubbing his eyes, he must have just woken up bless him, he's so adorable.

When he finally comes around and his eyes open properly, he sees me and they widen in excitement.

"Ana?!" His little legs carry him as fast as they can over to us and he hugs tightly onto my legs.

I laugh softly and I look to Christian who is smiling in awe at his son.

Kneeling to his height, smiling as I gently tap his little nose with my finger.

"How are you feeling sweetheart? Do you feel any better?"

He nods smiling right back at me, I can see he's still a little pale and sniffly, but he seems to have a little more life in him than he did during lunch today.

"Cans you pway wiv me?" He smiles and I giggle looking up Christian.

"And I've lost you already…" He laughs smiling, "Teddy didn't feel like eating, so I was just going to make a few small bits in case he fancies something later, is that okay?"

"Perfect…" I smile nodding.

Theodore takes my hand pulling me towards the corner of the apartment to play with his cars.

"Well, he's come back to life since seeing you…I'll be in the kitchen making some snacks"

Both of us smiling at each other, I nod and watches him leave as Theodore and I play with his cars.

After a little while, Christian comes back with a few small plates of things, a bowl of chips, some ham sandwiches, cookies, popcorn. It's a cute little buffet. Not the meal we had expected, but it's just as nice.

Christian sits on the couch, simply watching Theodore and me, both of us glancing up at each other catching each other's gaze every so often.

"Thank you for coming," He says simply.

"Thank you for inviting me" my lips curl into a small smile.

Theodore must smell the popcorn and suddenly he's feeling hungry, making me and Christian laugh as he starts to nibble on a few pieces by the table.

"Ham sandwich?" Christian gestures to the silver platter on the table and I giggle softly taking one.

"Best ham sandwich I ever tasted" I smirk teasing.

It is pretty good, honestly.

It's like a little indoor picnic and it's enticed Theodore to eat which I think Christian is glad of.

I watch as he climbs up onto the couch next to Christian and it's a wonderful sight to see.

I don't know why but there's something about seeing them together that pulls at all my emotions.

Christian cuts the one piece of sandwich a little smaller for him and he nibbles at the edges, Christian watching him making sure he eats something, even if it's just a little

"I know he's unwell when he doesn't eat…normally he scoffs everything I put in front of him" Christian smiles and looks at me. "Here…" He pats the space beside him on the couch and I willingly take the seat.

Sat so close to me, I can smell his aftershave, I can see his muscles, I'm in awe of these Grey of his eyes.

We sit there, all 3 of us enjoying each others company, Theodore keeping us occupied with his little stories making my heart melt.

An hour later our little indoor picnic is a success, Theodore is on the floor playing with his cars once again and Christian and I are sat on the couch, both of us sitting opposite each other as we sip another glass of wine.

"So tell me about you" He smiles as he takes a sip of his wine.

"Hmm…about me…" I bite my lip thinking. "I'm 21…almost 22… I live with my Dad and I work at the Kindergarten. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do when I graduated, I studied English Lit at college but I couldn't find a job to associate with that…so here I am…" I smile and sips my wine, "What about you, Mr soon to be Penthouse?" I smirk teasing.

"Mr. Penthouse?" He chuckles, "I like that".

We both laugh softly.

This is going much better than what I expected it to. It's not awkward, it's just nice.

Enjoying each other's company.

"A few years ago, a friend of mine helped me start a business and helped me get my hands on this apartment, I was good with people, I knew how they worked and how to work my way around them. I was pretty good at getting what I wanted… 7 years later, I've just bagged a deal with China which is the best thing to happen to my company, So… I may even buy myself that penthouse"

I laugh softly, "You're so successful…"

"I wasn't always….but It's worked out I guess…. I love this place but I am wanting to start looking for a house, somewhere with a garden for Teddy to play in" he smiles.

I wasn't always.

Hmm…this intrigues me.

He looks so young. How on earth has he accomplished all of this?

"and what about your family? Your Mom is lovely…" I smile, "I'm pretty sure my friend Kate and your brother have been meeting up since that night at the club too"

His lips curl into a small smile at my statement and he nods, "She's been amazing, I didn't have the best past and she put up with a lot of my shit when she adopted me, but…I have her to thank for everything, and Mia my sister" He gives me a small smile and I can see the emotion behind his eyes, but not in his words. I'm so intrigued by him. "As for Elliot…Elliot is Elliot, honestly? They probably are"

Adopted?

So, she's not his Mom?

I'm curious, very curious. But I don't want to pry too much.

Maybe, if this goes well….we can make more plans and I can find out more.

"What about you?" He asks moving the conversation from him to me.

"My Dad died when I was 3… and so now, I live with my step Dad Ray, he's been amazing…My Mom left him when I was 15 and I rarely talk to her now…. she's on husband number 4 and I don't think she'll ever be happy" I sip my wine again.

He gives me a small smile and we find our selves gazing into each other's eyes once again.

It's like we're magnets attracting each other's gaze.

We're brought out of our hypnosis of each other

When Theodore's little hand taps my arm and smiles up at me.

"Cans you wead to me?"

I smile brightly down at him and strokes his little cheek.

"Of course sweetheart, do you have any books?"

He nods smiling.

"They're all on your bookshelf in your room buddy, do you want to pick one for Ana?"

He nods and rushes through the long corridor opening a door which I'm assuming is his room.

"He likes books?"

"He has hundreds…He doesn't watch TV very much, he plays with his cars every so often…but he loves reading and listening to books".

"He reminds me of me when I was little, I used to sit there and just read all day every day" I giggle smiling and I finish my glass of wine.

"You're wonderful with him"

He says making me blush and he reaches across gently moving my stray curl behind my ear and my heart skips a beat at the contact.

I gently bite my lip and I notice as his gaze moves from my eyes and down to where my teeth assault my bottom lip showing my nervousness.

"You're so beautiful" He whispers and I feel a rush of heat spiral through my body.

Oh my gosh.

We're pulled once again from our atmospheric trance by Theodore's little sneezes and then his feet coming bounding towards us and handing me a book.

I take it smiling as he carefully climbs up onto the couch and places himself into my lap cuddling into me.

Christian's eyes widen slightly in surprise watching him, but his lips give the most caring smile towards his son.

I gently run my hand through his hair and I start to read to him. Blushing as I Feel Christian's gaze on me the entire time.

At some point during the book, Christian leaves the couch and moves into the kitchen.

On the last page, I close the book and to my surprise, I look down and Theodore is fast asleep in my arms making my smile grow.

I hear Christian's chuckle as he makes his way back to the couch with another two glasses of wine, handing me the one.

"It must be really comfy there, that's the second time today he's fallen asleep on you"

We both laugh in amusement, "What can I say" I smirk teasingly. "Thank you for inviting me over, I've had a really nice time"

"Me too, I'm glad you came"

We sit there for a little while longer, drinking the new glass of wine, the tension growing between us before Christian stands and gently lifts Theodore into his arms, "I'll take him to bed".

"Sure…I should probably get going anyway" I smile but I notice his expression turn a little disappointed.

"Just wait here a second, I'll walk you to the door….or elevator in my case" He gives a small smile and I nod and watches him take Theodore down the hall.

I stand from the couch and starts wandering around the room feeling a little calmer, more at ease and more comfortable now than I did when I first arrived.

Walking around, I find myself at the window gazing out at the beautiful city.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" He smiles walking back into the living room.

"It is…I wish I lived somewhere like this"

"Your home is nice though…it's a nice little family place," He says and I nod in agreement. "Yeah, I like it…"

We start to head towards the elevator and I start to feel a little nervous again so I try to make conversation.

"So how are you feeling about Wednesday?"

Oh yeah. Great conversation Ana. I need to start thinking before I speak, I curse myself.

"Honestly? Nervous as fuck…" He says and then apologizes for his cussing but I don't mind. "I'm so worried something is going to mess up…he's been so much happier now he hasn't seen her, I just want him to slip back into his shell".

"He's an adorable, kind and caring little guy… I really hope it all works out for you both too" I smile genuinely.

We reach the elevator pressing the button and we wait in a tensioned silence until it arrives.

I feel so nervous again, so awkward. I play my fingers against each other before looking up at him.

His eyes gazing into mine and then his hand lifts to gently stroke my cheek. The familiar touch being one I've begun to crave.

One I find myself thinking about constantly.

His movement is so calm and gentle.

His eyes enticing me into the abyss of the piercing grey.

"I want to kiss you right now…"

What? I bite my lip and I feel the heat rush through me again.

I find myself shifting slightly at the rush of…something…I have no idea what is happening to my body. I'm not used to this, this has never happened.

What is happening to me?

I've never had anyone make my body react the way he does.

"So…kiss me…then…" I say already breathlessly.

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	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16…

I could tell her breathing had increased rapidly. The way her blue eyes enticed me in.

"so… kiss me…then"

She gave me the green light and I wasn't going to waste that opportunity.

The way she gasped when I captured her lips with mine.

Her lips so soft, plump and gentle.

My one hand moved to her cheek and my other to her waist backing her against the wall as I kissed her deeply.

My tongue ran along her bottom lip requesting entrance which she allowed almost immediately, emitting of a soft moan against my lips.

Her bravery started to grow the more I kissed her. Her hands started to roam, my shoulder, my hair and that's when my body ignited completely. Her touch didn't burn me like most people, but her hands didn't roam close to my chest, so I wouldn't know.

My pants suddenly became tighter and tighter.

Fuck.

I could hear the elevator approaching but I didn't want to stop.

I couldn't.

I took her hands in mine, lacing our fingers before moving them above her head and uncontrollably I dipped my head into her neck placing a small and gentle kiss against her skin.

Fuck, I needed and wanted her, but I had to control myself.

I had to take things slow, not like my past.

I could feel her heart beating quickly. I could hear her breathing becoming more rigid.

I looked up at her. Her eyes were closed while her teeth assaulted her bottom lip. The same fucking way she always does. I swear she does it just to torture me.

I pressed my body against hers in an attempt to release some of the relief in my groin but it failed miserably.

As my body touched hers, I heard another beautiful moan leave her moist blissful lips.

Fuck.

To my dismay, the elevator finally pinged in arrival and I kiss her lips softly once more, but she's completely breathless.

I did that to her.

I gently rested my forehead against hers, my lips curling into a small smile as I softly ran my thumb along her cheekbone in an attempt to calm her beating heart.

After that, I watched her walk into the elevator, her cheeks a bright blushed pink as the doors close leaving me standing there, missing her presence already.

What is this woman doing to me?

And yes, I'm still fantasizing about it now.

It's the night before the trial and I'm completely on edge. I can't sleep so I'm in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and thinking about her.

I've only seen her once since that night. That was when I picked teddy up from school yesterday, but we've been texting every day.

Good mornings.

Goodnights.

Hows your days.

The usual conversation starters that would turn into random conversations that would last all day and then would turn in to Ana falling asleep.

She's doing so much to me, I feel like a high school kid again.

Not that I was ever a normal one of those…but… you know what I mean.

I keep thinking about her.

The way her body felt under my touch.

The way her lips melted against mine willingly.

The way our fingers laced perfectly together.

The way her moan sounded against my ear.

Fuck.

I find myself constantly getting turned on by her.

I never want to be without her honestly, I know that probably sounds ridiculous because we barely know each other. But she does things to me I don't even understand.

The number of times I've had to relieve myself since that night when I find myself thinking about her.

I imagine what her hand would feel like against me, or more.

I imagine what her moans would sound like if we made Love.

Love?

Shit….Fuck.

Love?!

I have never made love in my entire life.

I've always fucked hard.

But this girl, makes me think differently.

She makes me want differently.

Now, it's 5 am and I'm even more on edge. Today is the day I find out if Leila is charged with anything or let back out into the world. I down my coffee mug in 3 gulps while rereading over the contract that was finally signed on Monday. Not being able to sleep I decide to make the use of my free time, making any necessary amendments to the contract that we agreed on. Monday, Luckily went well, and there's already an article in the newspaper telling the whole world of the money I'm about to make for Grey enterprises. Thank fuck I managed to hire another 3 lots of trustworthy security men, all recommended by Taylor. I also managed to buy Taylor his own car so he can finally have one at the school or wherever he's needed. The apartment has been so expensive up to now, along with my cars, paying Leila and everything else, I haven't managed to get a suitable one. But now the deal has gone through, the dream of my business has officially come through, I can finally do everything that I've wanted for me and Teddy.

Just for the two of us.

I continue to read through the article while I watch the clock move on again.

6 am.

7 am.

I head into Teddy's room to wake him but I sit there for a moment watching his peaceful state. Today is the day that decides what happens to Leila and I hope for Teddy's sake, she'll get sentenced. The drug evidence, the assault, the abuse, the blackmail. It all has to go against her right?

Gently waking him, I get him dressed, washed and ready for the day.

I'm so proud of my little guy as I stand there in my Grey suit and Teddy stood next to me wearing a similar one but without the jacket.

I lift him in my arms and I kiss his cheek.

"Daddy loves you, you know that don't you?"

I'm so fucking worried about today's outcome.

Teddy nods his little head as his arms move around my neck.

Such a small gesture but it makes me feel that little bit better. He doesn't even realize the impact he has on today.

"Wuv you Daddy".

"How about Daddy takes you to IHop for breakfast before we head to speak to all those people huh?"

"Yaaayyyyy!" He grins excitedly.

_'Heading for IHOP, do you want to come?' _

I text Ana.

_'Just had breakfast, I've been up all night. I'm so nervous, I went to the library at 6 to take my mind off it. Thank you though, Enjoy it, I'll see you soon. A x' _

As usual, Teddy orders his favorite.

The blueberry pancakes with extra blueberry syrup, bacon, hash brown, and scrambled eggs.

He loves IHOP.

I order a simple coffee and some toast, not feeling like much to eat because my stomach is in knots, but I watch in awe as my son demolishes a meal aimed for an adult.

"Okay buddy, you ready to go?"

He nods as I gently wipe his face to rid the syrup making me chuckle some more.

"Wills we see Ana Daddy?"

"Yeah, she'll be here too… You and Ana are going to play in the room while Daddy talks to Mommy…"

"Whys?" He gets a little rigid at the name of Leila. As I suspected.

"Because Daddy doesn't want you to see Mommy anymore buddy….is that okay?"

"No wants to see Mommy" He curls into me and I sigh running my hand through his little hair.

I hope this is all worth it.

Fuck.

He's opened up and spoken to Ana so much, the officers and judge have decided, maybe it's a good idea to get Teddy to talk on camera. He won't know any of us are watching in the courtroom, but Ana will be there with him in an attempt to get him to tell her all about Leila while she plays with him.

That's the reason I'm bringing him along.

I just hope it works.

I'm so grateful for that girl I swear.

I carry Teddy into the courthouse, all of my family already waiting there.

"Gwandma!"

"There's my handsome grandbaby" She lifts him into her arms and kisses all over his face making him giggle.

"You ready son?" My Dad looks at me with a sympathetic smile.

"I have to be…I just hope it goes well" I sigh nervously and I run my hand through Teddy's hair. He's my rock. He keeps me sane.

"It will son, it will. I don't think anything can go wrong this time. We've got her".

I simply reply with a nod but I keep my focus on Teddy who's smiling and laughing with my Mom.

Mia is next to her making him giggle even more.

"Ana!" Teddy's smile grows even brighter when he sees her making her way down the corridor.

"Hi, sweetheart" She smiles tapping his little nose over my Mom's shoulder making him laugh. It's like their little thing now, she does it all the time.

My heart flips inside and out watching the way she is with him.

"Hey" My lips curl up into a small smile as I catch her gaze.

"Hey.." She smiles in return.

My eyes gazing at her lips then back to her eyes, remembering how they feel against my own.

Between her and Teddy, I feel the slightest bit calmer. Just slightly, but it's different.

"We're ready for you in the courtroom Mr. Grey and we'd like Theodore down in the camera room" The door opens revealing a small woman, around 50 in age wearing a black skirt and white blouse.

"Miss Steele, if you'd like to come this way…." She looks at Ana, then Ana looks at me.

"Do you want me to take Theodore?"

"If you don't mind…" I nod simply as I feel my hands shake.

My Mom hands Teddy over to Ana and passes me with a knowing nod as they all make their way into the room leaving just the 3 of us and the random 50-year-old woman alone.

"Thank you again, Ana, I can't thank you enough…." I give her a nervous smile but she nods smiling and takes my hand.

"No need to thank me and it's going to be just fine okay? Be strong…"

I squeeze her hand at her words before watching them both turn and head down the corridor to the room where they've set up the camera for her and Teddy.

I just hope this fucking works.

"Everybody rise"

In the courtroom, we all stand as the judge makes his entrance.

Then, Leila is brought up.

She 's in grey slacks, a grey hoodie, her hair long and straight as always.

Her hoodie rolled up to her elbows and a bandage visible on her wrist.

She's so fucking unstable, they have to fucking see that!

I grip the table as I start to grow a little angry as her gaze catches mine and she gives me a smirk.

No Leila, Fuck off.

I turn my head away quickly.

Half an hour passes as they explain the charges.

Then into a microphone, they speak to Ana through a hearing device.

"Okay Miss Steele…. you're on in the courtroom"

The large screen is turned on and we can see Ana and Teddy both sitting on the floor with a few little cars surrounding them, with an officer and Taylor stood in the corner.

She looks at Teddy.

"Sweetheart?"

He looks up at her smiling.

"I need to ask you some questions okay?….if you don't feel like answering them then that's okay…but I'd like to know so we can help your Daddy" She smiles softly at him.

She's so calm and gentle. She's amazing at this.

He nods at her, "Otays".

"Will you tell me about your Mommy?"

Then he looks away and he starts to play with his cars again.

His posture is rigid. He's moved his attention away and he doesn't respond.

Back to the mute Teddy, I was always used to.

I don't want him to have to go through this.

I don't want him to think of her. I thought this was a good idea, but this is heartbreaking.

"Do we have to do this?" I say a little too loudly.

"Silence in the court please," The judge says and I look to my Dad who's sat next to me.

He leans over and whispers, "This is good Christian, he'll be okay…it'll work in his favor in the end".

I can't deny that he's right but I hate seeing him like this.

He still hasn't answered her, so she tries again.

"Did you like going to your Mommys house?"

She tries a new approach. Go on Ana.

"No," He says simply.

"Why not?"

He's silent again.

We all sit there hopeful.

Come on Teddy.

"Mommy no pways wiv me…she pways wiv her fwends and dwinks her uice"

"Drinks her juice? I see…. and what did you do while your Mommy drinks her juice sweetheart?"

"Sats in my woom and wead… I no allows outside until Mommy says so"

It goes silent again.

"Miss Steele….can you please ask him if Miss Williams has ever hurt him".

She nods hearing the voice through the earpiece.

"Theodore? Did your Mommy ever hurt you?"

He doesn't answer again, which I think answers well enough.

"huwted Daddy" He mumbles.

"What's that sweetheart?"

"Mommy huwted Daddy".

"I see….did you see what happened?"

He shakes his head, "I was scaweds….I hids under my bwanket then Daddy cames to gets me and he had a booboo" He says sadly and climbs into Ana's lap.

I hear him sniffle.

Fuck he's crying.

At least Ana is there.

Fuck.

"No wants go Mommys, pwease Ana, no wants to go" He sobs and cries into her chest.

She stands and lifts him into her and lets him cry into her neck.

I want to fucking riot right now!

Turn the fucking cameras off!.

"I think that's enough" Her voice comes through the speakers.

Thank fuck for that.

The screen turns off.

"Mr. Grey, if you'd like to come up to the stand…."

They fire hundreds of questions at me.

"When did your relationship start?"

"It never started your honor, we were never together" Trying to keep my cool.

"Do you think it responsible to get a woman pregnant when you're not in a relationship Mr. Grey?" Her lawyer is a fucking Hyena.

"No, I don't…I've changed since Teddy was born…he's my entire life I will do everything to protect him. He wasn't planned but now I couldn't live my life without him. I had to pay Leila to keep him as she threatened to abort him….I paid her to keep him, then when I wouldn't become more intimate with her after he was born, she demanded more and more every month"

"Why wouldn't you get in a relationship with her after she had given birth to your son? Isn't that the honorable thing to do?"

"It would have been honorable, yes, but she didn't want him…and I didn't love her. So I chose him."

They continue to fire these questions and I'm getting angrier by the fucking second.

what was my life like back then?

Did I love her at all?

How much money have I paid her?

What was her mental state like when we were together?

Do I think she has any love for Teddy?

I tell them everything, from the hundreds of thousands of pounds I've paid her, to my fuck-up of a life, to her suicidal thoughts, drug abuse, and everything.

I tell them I wasn't a saint, but I've changed.

I changed for him.

Then I'm dismissed back to my seat.

Ana's up next.

Mia went out to look after Teddy so Ana could come inside and give her version of events.

Leila's Lawyer stands and moves over to where Ana is standing, ready to fire the questions at her.

She's playing her hands nervously in front of her.

I owe her everything for doing this.

"So Miss Steele…. tell us how you know Theodore".

"I work at the Kindergarten he attends"

"And…he's taken a liking to you?"

She simply nods, "He was shy and quiet when he first arrived….he didn't participate in anything, he didn't have any friends there… he was kind of a sad little boy, I felt sorry for him and so I did everything I could to make him feel comfortable"

Yes, go on Ana.

"And…what exactly has he said at school to you regarding his mother?"

"He drew a picture…it was a very realistic drawing for a 4-year-old… he pointed to a figure and told me it was his Mom…then another two figures holding hands which he told me were him and his Dad. The Dad he had drawn was covered in red paint which represented the wounds Mr. Grey had… he then told me His Mom had hurt Mr. Grey….I have the drawing here…" She lifts it to the show the court and the Jury all mumble and whispers amongst themselves.

"Anything else…."

"I quickly found out Theodore would go to his Mom's every Friday after school…I was there when she came to collect him one Friday. She paid no attention to him, spoke to him a little harshly, she seemed out of sorts….before she arrived Theodore asked me could he come home with me because he didn't want to go with her".

"What did you do with this information, Miss Steele?"

"I told my supervisor, Mrs. Morgan…I then went to the head office and told her about everything. She then requested I write a statement about what Theodore had shown or told me so they could take it further"

The Jury whisper again, and I notice as the Judge takes even more notes.

Leila's lawyer looks over to her and she's glaring.

We fucking got this.

He nods towards her, and she nods back as I watch them curiously.

"One more question Miss Steele…."

"What's your relationship with Mr. Grey like?"

I see her start to fumble a little, come on Ana stay strong.

"It's fine…why?"

"Would you say it's professional?"

"Of course… he collects Theodore from school most days"

"Does professional include kissing outside in Public Miss Steele?"

"Wh-What..?" Her eyes go wide, she's panicked and suddenly my heart is racing.

What the fuck?!

"This image Miss Steele…. is this not you and Mr. Grey himself?"

Everyone looks up at the screen seeing me kissing her on her doorstep.

"I believe Miss Steele, this is also your house? So Mr. Grey also knows where you live?"

"I uhh…I…."

"How do we know Mr. Grey hasn't paid this woman to come into this court and say these things? He's paid my client, Miss Williams, for far worse…. That'll be all your honor".

He smirks at Leila and she does the same as he takes his seat.

That fucking prick.

I look to Ana who has tears in her eyes. She doesn't look at me, she can't bear to look at me.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

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	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17…

I wasn't expecting a question like that.

I wasn't prepared and I choked.

How was I even supposed to answer it?

And the picture…Oh my goodness that picture.

I could feel my cheeks burning up with embarrassment and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.

I couldn't even look up at him.

What if he's angry with me?

Have I messed everything up?

Did we mess everything up?

How could they even ask that question? What has that even got to do with the trial right now?

I don't understand.

"Is there anything you'd like to add before you depart Miss Steele?"

I hear the judge's voice and I finally raise my head from my fumbling hands, to turn and look at him.

I go to shake my head but mouth deceives me.

Suddenly feeling a rush of bravery, a rush of protection for that little boy who I've grown so close to.

The little boy who has finally come out of his shell to which I never want to see him return.

"Actually….yes…I do…"

"Please, go ahead"

"Mr. Grey has never once paid me any money to speak up for little Theodore, Nor would I ever accept money for doing what is right…. I didn't even know Mr. Grey was Theodore's father when my concerns about Theodore started...I am his teacher, I work in his kindergarten class. When a child of that age walks into a classroom with no emotion, won't communicate with anybody, won't play with any of the other children, clutching so tightly onto a blanket like he's petrified of life. Walking in with bruises on his wrists, painting pictures so realistic that a child of that age should never have to experience. I went and reported the situation a long time before I even knew Christian was his father and long before I got to know him. I'm doing this because I want what is best for that adorable, kind-hearted and loving little boy, I'm not doing this for anyone but him. You saw his reaction at the mention of her name in that video! Every single one of you saw it…. That wasn't fake, that emotion was real….Those of us speaking out, are trying to protect that little boy, nothing more"

The tears rolling down my cheeks now. I feel so emotional, so angry, so unlike me. But I feel a sense of pride and bravery within myself for speaking up like that.

I honestly don't know what got into me, but there was no way I was letting anything ruin the chances of Theodore being happy.

"That's all your honor"

I'm completely overwhelmed and emotional.

I wipe my tears and I turn taking the steps quickly so I can be out of view and take in the deepest of breaths, deep down into my lungs as my tears roll more freely.

"Okay, I think we'll take a little break and reconnect in 15 minutes."

I hear him bang his little stick down and I rush out of the door finding it hard to breathe.

I can't believe I just did that.

I lean against the wall for support and I rest my head back taking deep breaths.

He's going to hate me for this.

What were we even thinking?!

Of course, they'd bring something like that up.

Of course, they would have been following Christian to get an ounce of negativity against him.

Now I've ruined it all.

If this doesn't work out for the best, I'll never forgive myself.

The doors open and a few people walk out of the courtroom, then I hear my name being called.

"Ana?….Ana?" His voice is needing, worried even.

I turn my head to look at where he's making his way down from the doors and towards me.

My heart starts to race in panic and I shake my head standing up straight in front of him.

"I'm sorry Christian….I'm so so sorry….I didn't mean to screw everything up, I just….everything…everything I touch turns to dust. I'm sorry…" I ramble as my tears start to build up in my eyelids once again. I look down and away from him, feeling completely guilty.

"Screw everything up? Ana….you were amazing in there… and with Teddy…I can't…" He uses his finger and thumb to gently lift my chin, making me look at him. His grey eyes gazing into mine. Sighing softly, he gives me a small smile, "Come here…" He opens his arms and takes a step towards me.

His arms moving around me in a sweet embrace.

It's warm, comforting, protective.

Just what I needed.

Just what he needed.

My hands rest at the sides of his torso as I rest my forehead against his shoulder.

"You were amazing Ana…" He places a gentle kiss to the top of my head, "I can't thank you enough".

We simply hold each other for a moment longer before his Mom comes out with a small smile interrupting us.

And now, I feel even more awkward.

I smile nervously in return at her as I detach myself from our embrace.

"You were wonderful in there Ana…" She places a loving hand on my arm.

"I tried…" I sigh sadly.

"You tried and succeeded, Carrick thinks you dealt with all those questions amazingly and your final comment was exactly what they needed for Teddy" She gently squeezes my arm.

"Now it's just the assault charges to go through….the drugs the police found and then we should have a verdict" Christian looks between us and we all nod as we make our way back inside.

"Come and sit with me, Ana" Christian's Mom gently links my arm and escorts me to the seat beside her.

Christian smiles softly at me as he makes his way down to the front of the court, taking his space back beside his father.

I now sit next to Christian's Mom, full view of the courtroom.

"Court rise" The judge walks back in taking his seat and we all stand for his arrival.

He sits and organizes his notes before looking up towards Christian.

"Mr. Grey, If you'd like to take the stand once again…"

I watch as Christian nods making his way up.

"Please, in your own words describe what happened during the assault at Ms. William's home".

"I have been paying for Leila's apartment since Teddy was born…During the last custody hearing, the Judge decided it would be a good idea to allow her access to Teddy for 24 hours a week. That 24 hours was decided between the both of us to start Friday after school until the same time on Saturday. That specific Saturday morning, the security that I have accompanying Teddy called me with concerns and I went around there immediately. I walked inside and herself and her company were both close to naked sprawled on the sofa, empty alcohol bottles surrounding the whole area. There seemed to be what looked like cocaine powder on the coffee table and empty clear seal bags.

My security had put Teddy to bed that Friday night as Leila had locked him in the room and told him not to come out. I made my way towards his room and she tried to stop me but when I continued on, wanting to take him away from that atmosphere, I felt a large and hardened impact at the back of my head causing me to stumble. At this point I didn't care about the pain of my wound or the blood, I just wanted to get Teddy out of there. He was petrified when I arrived in his room and was hidden underneath his blanket. My Security fully equipped with a camera in his uniform has managed to get the whole scene and more"

We watch as Christian's Dad stands pressing play against the video. The audio and picture both as clear as day.

I can barely even watch it. It's completely and utterly horrible.

Everyone gasps when we hear the blood-curdling crack to the back of Christian's head with the lamp she grabbed from the stand.

The blood flowing down his face covering the one side of his head.

Taylor's grip on Leila as she struggles and strives to let herself free, all perfectly visible from the camera.

Theodore's painted picture was so accurate of what the poor little guy saw.

My heart clenches and hurts for them.

I can't believe all this had happened.

Why?

The video continues as Christian tries making his way out of the apartment.

"Teddy Baby! Stay with Mommy!"

It's so clear and obvious Theodore is petrified of his mother when he shakes his head and curls into Christian's shoulder.

"Fuck you then! Fucking brat!"

The whole court stirs and gasps at the words emitting from the speakers.

"I'm cutting you off…no more money, no more help. You're on your own Leila. You'll be hearing off my lawyer and even the police. It's just me and Teddy now, you understand?!"

Christian's Dad continues to play video after video of Taylor's security camera from the past and present. Weeks of video recordings.

Her gripping Theodore's arm and dragging him to his bedroom.

Theodore needing the bathroom, Taylor lets him out but she immediately grips his wrist in the same place, in the same harsh way.

Her voice piercing as she tells him not to come out every single video.

Threatening Taylor too.

Locking the door behind her and leaving the key on the table beside the door as she makes her way back into the living room to snort a line of cocaine.

The night before the assault, it clearly shows Taylor heading into the room, taking a glass of water and a sandwich for him and helping to put him to bed.

The screen goes blank and everyone in the court whispers amongst themselves.

How Taylor managed to keep his cool through all of these weeks of filming I will never know. He couldn't stop it because of the evidence, but it is completely heartbreaking.

Leila sat there in her little box barely paying any attention.

How can she be so cold?

It makes me so angry.

The tears well in my eyes for them.

Those videos are blood-curdling and the next thing I know, Christian's Mom's hand moves ontop of mine and she gives me a small smile. She must notice my tears.

Leaning a little closer, she simply whispers, "You've given so much life to the both of them Ana…both Teddy and Christian. Thank you for everything you've done for my boys" Squeezing my hand once she's spoken and I nod simply not knowing how or what to reply.

My throat feeling as if I have a whole apple choked at the back of it, feeling so emotional.

The Judge looks to Leila's lawyer, "Anything you'd like to add or ask?"

"No your Honor"

The judge looks to Christian, "Is there anything else you'd like to add Mr. Grey?"

"I think that is all your honor"

I watch as Christian moves back beside his father.

"Miss Williams, if you'd like to stand…. Mr. Grey, I believe you have more evidence and questions to bring to the court?"

"Yes your honor"

Christian's Dad stands next, ready to hit Leila with his own questions.

"You never wanted anything to do with your son Miss William's correct?"

"Yeah"

"So, why did you fight so badly for him, was it to keep Mr. Grey around?"

"You wouldn't understand"

"Oh please…enlighten us"

"I loved Christian, but as soon as he was born he stopped everything with me. It was fun, It was good… but then he threw me away like I was nothing"

"Because he had to focus on his son? Is that a bad thing?"

"He didn't even want kids! He didn't even want a relationship…His past fucked him up. I wasn't even allowed to touch him. I may not be a saint, but Christian was just as bad as I was, if not worse. Drinking, smoking, the drugs. He introduced me to it all, go ahead and ask him if that's the truth! And the sex! He even had me sign an NDA for it because of his weird sexual fantasies…isn't that right Christian? "

I watch and notice as Christian's posture changes and shifts at her words.

"But then he changed…and you didn't. His past is flawed, but he's made himself better"

"Why should I change the life I enjoy?"

"If you don't want to change Miss William's then that's your choice, I simply want to know why you fought so hard for Theodore when you didn't want him? And why you attacked my client?"

"No comment"

I listen curiously.

An NDA?

Sex?

Fantasies?

Wh-What?

Well, this isn't awkward sitting next to his mother.

I keep my focus towards the front hoping she doesn't notice my unnerving feeling.

I'm curious as to what she's talking about.

Should I be worried?

"Speaking of sexual fantasies…. despite you not wanting Theodore, you fought for him in spite of Christian leaving you, am I correct?"

"No comment…."

"I'll take that as a yes…" Christian's father starts to pace between the Judge and Leila as he talks. "You see your honor, after the custody hearing, I was baffled at how a Judge could allow Miss William's any contact with that child at all. The evidence that was brought before the court was more than enough to give Christian full custody… then I had a tip-off to search the CCTV camera's in the building…Here's what I found…." He presses play against the screen and the CCTV cameras are as clear as day.

Leila and what I'm assuming is the Judge from the custody hearing, kissing in the hallway, she cups his crotch and then they head into the Men's bathroom together.

"Let me fast forward….take note of the time please"

The screen moves a little quicker and 15 minutes later, they both emerge.

"After this, I did a little more digging and 10 thousand dollars was transferred from Miss William's account and into a Mr. Paul Smith, whom I believe was the Judge at our hearing…."

He looks Leila dead in the eye.

This got intense very quickly.

"Did you pay and have sexual relations, conspiring against the custody battle just to get revenge on Christian leaving you?"

She looks at him. Her brows furrowed angrily. Even from here I can see the beads of sweat on her forehead.

Her lips pursed.

They've got her.

"No. Comment." She spits.

"That'll be all your honor".

Christian's father takes his seat and puts his hand on Christian's shoulder, knowing, knowing that he's got her.

The trial continues with the police statements of when they arrived at her apartment after I called them, finding the drugs and syringes hidden around the apartment.

"Does anyone have anything else to bring to the stand? No?… Okay, this court will take a break while myself and the Jury take over all the notes of today and come to a final decision and verdict…. we will congregate back and continue at 3 pm" He bangs down his stick and everyone takes their leave.

3 pm already…..Where has this day gone?

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	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18…

"Assault on a Mr. Christian Grey, Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Guilty"

"Child neglect and abuse, do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Guilty"

"Possession and misuse of illegal drugs, Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

"Guilty"

"Conspiracy against a custody hearing, Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?

"Guilty"

Fuck.

It's happened.

We fucking did it.

Sitting at the front of the court, at the edge of my seat hearing every single Guilty ring through my ears.

I can't fucking believe it.

I look to my Dad who is smiling smugly and he squeezes my shoulder with such pride.

"We did it, son, we did it," He says encouragingly.

"Dad…I…Thank you for everything…"

"Don't thank me, we all did this as a team son…Teddy is ours and Leila won't be a threat for at least 24 months"

My lips curl into a bigger smile at his words.

I turn in my chair looking up to my Mom in complete and utter surprise at the verdict.

The tears in her eyes are evident, even from down here.

She smiles through her tears and gives a small wave to us acknowledging what's happened.

Then, my gaze moves to Ana who is still sat next to her.

Her lips curled into a beautiful smile and she sticks her thumb up encouragingly at me, referring to the verdict.

I chuckle softly at her gesture and my smile grows even bigger.

I can't believe this is happening.

I really can't fucking believe we won.

I look back to the front.

I was mortified when Leila brought up my past.

Especially the NDA, the sex, everything.

I can't deny it all happened, but it's in my past.

I need to talk to Ana and explain and hope…just hope she will understand.

Even the thought of talking to her about it makes me uneasy.

I know she's not that type of girl, but I'm not that type of guy and I hope….Fuck I hope she can look past it all.

"After careful consideration, Miss Leila Williams, you are sentenced to 24 months imprisonment combining your crimes. A minimum of 12 months at a rehabilitation center and a medical exam to determine your current mental state. During this time there with be no communication between Miss Williams and the young boy, Theodore Grey. Furthermore, Judge Paul Smith has been suspended because of his conspiracies against the case, He will be dealt with accordingly. Due to the lack of professionalism from him in your last custody hearing, I am taking the stand stating that Christian Grey has full custody of his son, there won't be a need for another hearing for another 24 months." He hits his stick down confirming his statement and the officer takes Leila by her upper arm and escorts her to the stairs.

"You're going to regret this Christian Grey!"

She calls out, but I simply stand and watches her go.

My veins flooding my body with pure relief.

Teddy is mine. He'll never see her again.

I make my way towards the judge to shake his hand in good gesture and to thank him for all of his help before making my way out of the courtroom.

Mia has Teddy in the hallway and I can hear his little giggles from here.

It's like music to my ears.

"Daddy!" He squeals smiling and Mia puts him down onto his feet, his little legs moving quickly as he comes running over to me.

I swoop him up into my arms and holds him close against my chest, kissing every part of his face that I can.

My world, My heart, My life.

"There's Daddy's boy" I smile brightly at him and our family surrounds us making a fuss.

Congratulating me and Dad.

He did most of it, he's been incredible.

It's a nice feeling, finally not having to worry.

My Mom kissing my cheek, then smothering Teddy's face in kisses too, making him giggle and wriggle in my embrace.

"I think this calls for a celebration?" My Mom grins proudly, "I thought it would never end…it's been a long day but I'm so proud of you, all of you…" She says looking to me, then my father, then to Mia. Unfortunately, Elliot had to work away on a project but he's promised to be there tonight for whatever the outcome was.

I can't wait to tell him the verdict.

Teddy adores his Uncle Elliot.

"Ana!" Teddy squeals smiling and reach his arms towards her direction.

Looking down the corridor I notice as she stands near the exit doors.

Is she leaving already?

Was she going to leave without saying goodbye?

What if…What if what Leila said?

What if she's already running.

Fuck.

I run my hand through my hair nervously as Teddy wriggles excitedly in my arms as she smiles at him.

Putting him down onto his little feet and his little legs take him as quickly as possible over to her.

She giggles and kneels to his height to catch him into her arms.

"Hi sweetheart"

He smiles and wraps his arms around her neck.

He is smitten with this woman I swear, but honestly? So am I.

"Is you weaving Ana?"

I hear her giggle and then I watch as she taps his little nose.

"I was just looking for the bathroom before I was coming to say goodbye…but yes I'll be going home soon"

So she wasn't leaving?

She was going to say goodbye.

I feel another wave of relief rush through me and my lips lift into another smile.

She always makes me smile.

It's different.

It's strange.

But I'm finding, I can't stop myself.

"Ana you should join us!" Mia says smiling brightly at her.

Oh fuck, Now even Mia is going to try and match make us.

She's relentless too.

"Yes darling, please…you played a big part in helping us get the verdict we needed… please join us?"

"Thank you but I…it's fine I don't want to impose…" She replies nervously smiling as she holds Teddy close to her.

His little head now resting on her shoulder and I watch as her hand absent-mindedly draws small soothing patterns across his little back.

She's amazing with him.

"Impose? Nonsense….Christian tell her to come…" My Mom grins up at me and I chuckle, rolling my eyes before turning my gaze to Ana and her cheeks automatically turn their usual pink as I look deeply into her eyes.

"Please come, we'd all love you to join us" I smile softly and her lips curl into the same mirroring smile.

"Pweaaase!" Teddy also looks up at her with his adorable puppy dog eyes.

Yes, Teddy! Go on son…

I know she can't say no to him.

"Only if you're sure you don't mind…I have my car too, so I'll meet you somewhere later?" She smiles.

"Nonsense darling, your car will be fine at our place… follow us back and we can go from there"

Everyone moves hugging her, My Mom, then Mia and Teddy refuses to leave her embrace and whines every time I attempt to take him.

I finally convince him to let go of her so she can go to the bathroom with the promise of him seeing her back at my parent's place.

Ana makes her way into the bathroom and Teddy falls asleep on my shoulder. He should have napped by now but it's been such a long day.

Poor little thing is probably exhausted.

I wait, just at the top of the steps to the courthouse waiting for Ana to come out of the bathroom, as my family already make their departures back to the house.

When she emerges, she's smiling softly and moves beside me as we walk out towards our cars.

Both of our hands dangling so close to each other as we walk. Teddy being held in my other arm with his head sleepily on my shoulder.

Now and then, Our fingertips would brush against each other and I'd feel the familiar rush of electricity coarse through my body.

I look down to her and her cheeks are red but her smile is evidently growing.

I wonder if she feels the rush too?

"Are you sure it's okay to come? I don't want to impose on your family…"

"of course, I'd love you to be there….And…my Mom adores you if you don't come I think she'll send me to come and drag you there anyway" I chuckle and finally, I take her hand in mine watching as her smile grows.

"Okay…so I'll just follow you?"

I nod and I let go of her hand to cup her cheek and I find myself getting lost in the abyss of her piercing blue eyes once again.

Something I will never tire of.

I gaze at her lips, then back up to her eyes before leaning down and I kiss her lips ever so softly. Just a simple and caring kiss against her lips, which she reciprocates.

"I'll see you there" She whispers before climbing into her car.

I close the door for her before I move to my car, putting Teddy into his little car seat as he sleeps.

I am completely smitten with her and I don't think I'll ever tire of feeling her lips against mine.

I just couldn't help myself.

Climbing into my car and I take off towards my parent's house, looking in my rearview making sure she's behind me before I turn out of the parking lot.

When we arrive Teddy stirs awake and immediately asks for Ana making me laugh.

"Alright buddy, she's just coming" I kiss his cheek and he rubs his little sleepy eyes.

When she pulls up beside my car, her eyes are wide at the sight of the house. She bites her lip and starts to play her fingers together which I've figured out means she's nervous.

"You okay?" Moving closer to her, I smile and she offers me a small nod.

"I'm a little nervous… this house is so…beautiful…"

"It'll be okay…. I'm here" I say and I gently slip my arm around her waist which she willingly accepts and I feel her lean into my embrace, "My Mom's excited you're here".

"Your Mom is wonderful… I've only seen her a handful of times, but she's treated me with more compassion than my Mom ever has".

I want to know about her life, I want to know more about her.

Her likes, her dislikes, her ambitions, and dreams. I want to know everything, and I will.

But first, we need to talk about the things brought up in court today.

I can't go on with her like this, without her knowing everything.

Tonight, I'll talk to her. I'll tell her everything and I'll understand whatever her decision is.

Fuck, I hope she doesn't run for the hills, but I wouldn't blame her if she did.

We make our way inside and everyone starts to fuss.

"Bro! Congratulations! I knew you'd all do it….sorry I only just got here, I was just about to take a shower" He is covered in dirt.

"Thanks, Elliot" I grasp his shoulder smiling.

"Unc Ewiot!" Teddy squeals excitedly.

"There's my little squirt!" Elliot ruffles his little tuft of hair making him giggle.

"El, you remember Ana?" I keep my arm around her waist and I feel her lean further into me.

I can tell she is still so nervous.

"Oh yeah! Kate's friend! I've heard a lot about you" He shakes her hand which she willingly takes, "She's coming with us tonight actually…"

"Really? Kate is coming?"

"Since when do you bring women to family gatherings?" I smirk at him.

"Since when do you, little brother?"

Fuck.

Touche brother.

Perfect.

Another thing to add to the already awkward mess Leila got me in to with Ana.

I look down to her reaction, but she seems to still be smiling.

"Elliot go and shower and stop teasing each other,…I've made reservations for 6 so I want you ready"

"Yes Mom" He rolls his eyes making me and Ana both laugh simultaneously.

I love hearing her laugh.

"So Kate and Elliot have been seeing each other then" she smirks up at me.

"Maybe we could double date" I wink.

"Are you asking me on a date Mr. Grey" I can tell she's teasing by the tone of her voice.

"I guess, you'll have to find out" I grin before kissing the side of her head smiling before we make our way out into the gardens with Teddy.

" I just want to say thank you again for today….I still can't believe it played out in our favor"

She smiles, "That better be your last thank you" She smirks teasing and nudges my arm making me chuckle.

"I mean it though…I…" I'm cut off when she cups my cheek and presses her lips bravely against mine. I feel her lips curl into a smile against my own and my hands move to her waist as I kiss her back softly.

"No more thank you's" She whispers smiling.

"Daddy, Ana?!"

She quickly pulls away from me when she hears little Teddy's voice and her cheeks flush nervously once again.

She's so beautiful I actually can't believe it.

I hope I can keep making her blush this way.

So shy, so beautiful, so loving.

"Yeah, buddy?" I lift him to sit in my lap.

"Wills you pway wiv me?"

"We have to get ready for dinner buddy…but we can play for a little while before bedtime okay?"

"Wills Ana wead me stowy?" He looks up at Ana and she smiles down at him.

"If it's okay with your Daddy, I'll read you a story before I go home"

"Pwease Daddy?" He looks up at me now with the same adorable pleading eyes he gives Ana.

That's my boy.

"Anything for my little guy" I tickle his tummy making him squeal, "Now, why don't you head inside and find Grandma and give her lots of cuddles while Daddy talks to Ana for a minute?"

"Ana no weaving?"

Making me chuckle, I stroke his cheek, "Nope, Ana's coming to dinner".

His little lips curl into a bright smile as he looks at Ana then back to me, "Otays!".

We both watch as his little legs take him inside to find my Mom.

Once he's out of sight, Ana looks at me and suddenly without Teddy around, I feel like a mess.

I'm nervous, I'm sweating, I rub the back of my neck.

Where do I even start with this?

I finally lift my gaze and she's smiling at me.

I hope what I'm about to say to her doesn't send her running, because honestly?

I don't think I'll ever have this with anyone else.

Whatever this is?

I don't even know.

But I know, she makes me feel wanted, she makes me feel good, she makes me feel proud.

She makes me have a touch of hope, that love, could exist.

"What's wrong?"

I must be silently thinking for too long because now she looks a little worried. Her brows furrowed in a slight V.

The familiar electricity running through my body at her touch.

I don't want her to walk away.

I don't want her to leave.

Fuck, what is happening to me?

I sigh softly before I begin and I look into her eyes.

"I know you heard what Leila said in there today… and I know you're probably thinking about all kinds of things… I just…I want you to know the truth about everything, but I also want you to know that I'm not that person anymore...It's all in my past. I have never wanted a relationship, I've never wanted more, until now. I've never had anyone make me feel the way you do. .I'm not saying it'll be easy because I've never done the dating thing before and I don't even know where to start… but… I just think you deserve to know the full story of me before you make your own decision. And whatever your decision is, I'll understand"

She simply nods and I take her hand in mine.

To my surprise, she laces our fingers making me take a deep breathe before I start.

"When I was four…."

"Christian! Ana!" I'm interrupted mid-sentence by Mia's voice calling through the gardens, "Mom is ready to leave, come on!".

I sigh and close my eyes in defeat.

"Okay, we're coming" I reply as I open my eyes and I look to Ana, hearing a small giggle emerge from her enticing plump lips.

"Can we continue this later?"

She sweetly nods and squeezes my hand.

"I have to read Theodore a story anyway"

"He's got you wrapped around his little finger" I smirk teasing, but my mind reels with worries. Now I have to postpone this and wait and worry for another few hours.

Is it fair to bring her tonight when she doesn't know?

I don't know, but I know I want her there.

This could be my last memory with her and if it is, I need to make it memorable. I want to remember all the good things.

I'll tell her later tonight when we come home and if she leaves? At least I'll have the memories.

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I just want to say a huge thank you to all the amazing, wonderful and positive reviews that hundreds of you have given this story. I really can't thank you enough. It means so much to me knowing that so many of you are enjoying it. I know I'm not perfect with grammar, or spelling, or accuracy…but I try. I hope you will continue to enjoy, review and follow as I continuously post new chapters because I have so much more to come.

I also just want to apologize to the very small number of people that have been discouraged by this story because some things aren't 'real-world' accurate. I appreciate the constructive criticism you've given.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19…

"Ana" Kate squeals as Christian and I make our back inside the house.

"Kate?!" I smile brightly as she latches on to me with the biggest hug.

I haven't seen her in so long!

"I didn't know you were coming!"

"I didn't either until Elliot told us!" I giggle softly as she hugs me again linking my arm, taking us away from our men.

Are they our men?

Is Christian mine?

Can I even say that?

Hmm…

I'm still intrigued by what he has to say.

Honestly? I'm a little nervous…

I kind of knew he would probably have some sexual partners, I mean just look at him.

His muscles, his features, his smile, his laugh, his words, his touch…

Okay, Ana, chill out, I remind myself.

But seriously though? Any woman would fall at his feet, but now he has me completely and utterly falling for him.

The more time I spend with him, the more I kiss him, the more he touches me, I find myself falling even deeper.

But still, he's promised me that he's going to reveal his past.

Whatever Leila spoke about in that court had him worried.

Worried that I'm going to leave.

He said he would understand if I chose to walk away which honestly? Makes me a little anxious to know exactly what has happened.

I was so nervous when he invited me to dinner, but now with Kate latched on to my arm I feel a little more at ease.

I can't believe she's here.

"When did you and Christian get together?"

"Oh…we're not…"

"Seriously? Oh, Ana…" She smirks knowingly.

"What?" I laugh looking up at her like I have no idea what she means.

"You like him"

"Do I?" I raise my eyebrow challenging her. I love teasing her.

"Mhmm…and from what I've heard, he is head over heels for you too"

"Wh-What do you mean what you've heard? And anyway! What about you and Elliot? You never told me!"

"We were keeping it low key…it was just a bit of fun…" She sighs, "I think I'm falling for him Ana and I'm not sure of his intentions….like, he invited me here tonight and I was so surprised. He's never brought a woman to these family gatherings before" She shrugs.

"Same for Christian" I bite my lip.

"I thought you weren't together" I watch as her lips curl into the biggest grin, "Gotcha, now spill".

I roll my eyes laughing as we make our way out following the family to the private taxi.

We all climb in, Kate moves beside Elliot, Mrs. Grey is sat next to Mr. Grey, Mia is sat in the single seat at the side and the spare seat is beside Christian and Theodore, right behind Mia.

I smile at Christian and Theodore as I take the seat.

Why do I feel so anxious?

"You seem a little more at ease with Kate here," He says softly.

Yeah, a little…I wish I was more at ease.

I simply nod in reply, "It's nice to know someone else…I know I have you…but knowing more than one person makes me a little more involved"

He smiles softly and nods as he understands.

Theodore reaches over to me and I giggle softly lifting him into my lap.

Starting to play 'spot the color car' as we drive looking out the window, I can feel his eyes on me.

I want to turn to look at him, but If I keep blushing in front of him I may just end up turning into a tomato.

I bite my lip trying to continue to play with Theodore, but I can feel the pull.

It's like he's the magnet drawing my half towards him.

The electricity burning between us.

I can't resist any longer and I finally turn my head and lo and behold, he's watching me.

"You're so good with him…the way he smiles when he's with you…"

"He does the same with you too," I say encouragingly and he gives the smallest of nods before he looks away.

Does he not believe me?

"Ana! Wook! A wed car!"

"A red one? Oh, you win! You're so good at this!" I smile proudly down at him.

He's such an adorable little guy.

We finally reach the beautiful looking restaurant and Theodore holds my hand as we climb out of the van.

"Daddy!" He reaches his free hand up to Christian.

Now with me on the one side and Christian on the other, he smiles brightly as he swings between us.

I giggle watching him then hearing Christian laugh, I look up and the carefree, handsome smile he produces gives me shivers.

I look back down to Theodore who swings once again against our hands.

He's like a completely different little boy to when I first met him.

The way he acts with me and Christian now is completely different from the shy, mute little Theodore I once knew.

I'm so glad I did everything I could to help this little and his family. And his father.

I must admit, I constantly crave Christian's kiss now. Every time I feel his gaze on me, I can't help but look to his lips remembering every time they've been against mine.

We head into the restaurant.

Christian puts Theodore into the child chair his Mom had requested before we arrive.

To my surprise, once he's finished with Theodore, he looks to me and smiles, pulling a chair out for me to sit.

I raise my eyebrow in surprise but I smile and carefully sits as he pushes the chair in towards the table.

Think my Mom was wrong…. it's the little things like that, the little chivalrous things that make my heart melt and swoon remembering all of the novels I've ever read.

Maybe, just maybe….

It may not be like the novels or the movies, but the way Christian treats me is so very close.

My mind reels with thoughts and Christian takes the seat beside me, Kate the other side of me, then Elliot next to her.

Opposite me is Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey next to her and Mia at his side.

It's surprisingly nice and comforting, being surrounded by them.

Even though I barely know them, they've been so welcoming and make me feel almost like part of the family.

The waitress comes around taking the drink orders first.

Mrs. Grey ordering 4 bottles of champagne and 7 glasses along with an apple juice for Theodore.

"Can I get water too please?" I smile nervously up at the waitress who nods taking my order.

"Are you not having wine or champagne Ana?"

I'm not used to these kinds of places, nor can I afford anything honestly. But I can't tell them that.

I simply shake my head and I play my fingers against each other under the table nervously, "No I'm okay...I have to drive home later" I smile.

"Stay with us darling….we have a spare room…."

"Oh no I couldn't, I don't want to impose"

Then I jump slightly, my eyes widening and I feel my heart rate increase when Christian dips his hand between us and rests it on my leg under the table.

Although the contact took me by surprise, his touch makes me feel a little more at ease.

A little less nervous.

I turn to look at him and I smile.

"She won't stop until you agree…." He smirks teasingly.

"He's right" Mrs. Grey grins.

I giggle softly.

"Kate, you should stay too".

"She already is" Elliot grins at her and Christian rolls his eyes.

With much persuasion, I'm on my fourth glass of champagne and surprisingly enjoying myself.

I find myself thoroughly enjoying the company of the Greys and Kate.

Theodore is adorable, eating his little chicken nuggets and fries, he's a little quiet, but I think he's tired but he's always looking towards me, making sure I'm still there.

It's been a long day and I smile as his little lips form a sleepy yawn.

Christian kept his hand on my thigh until our food came and I surprisingly missed the contact when he pulled away to eat.

I wonder what his hand would feel like….

Oh my gosh, what is this champagne doing to me?

My mind is reeling.

The rest of the night flows easily, chatting, smiling, laughing….

A real family.

An image I always dreamed of but never experienced.

I wonder how it would be if my life was always like this.

"To Family" Mrs. Grey raises her glass and we all join in clinking our glasses together.

Mine and Christian's eyes meeting in a possessive, intense gaze.

I wonder…I just wonder…. What if?

"You should stay tonight" He whispers against my ear smiling.

I mean, Candice has given me the day off tomorrow because of the court situation.

So I could stay.

I have already had too many drinks to drive, but I could just get a taxi home. The alcohol makes me a little brave, I smirk at him.

"And why is that?"

"Because you've had too much to drink to drive home" He grins.

"I could get a taxi…" I rest my elbow onto the table and my chin onto my hand gazing up at him.

His hand slips gently to the bottom of my back and strokes against the fabric of my dress.

"You could…or you could stay…and drive home tomorrow" He gives me a smile that goes straight to my thighs.

What is this man doing to me?

He keeps making me feel things I have never felt before.

It's so strange to me, but, I continue to want it.

"Do you want me to stay?" I bite my lip.

"I do…"

"Then I'll stay" I smile softly.

I watch his tongue run along his bottom lip.

I want him to kiss me but his whole family is here and it'll just make things awkward.

I don't even know what we are?

What even are we?

We haven't even spoken about anything, maybe tonight?

If I stay tonight maybe we can discuss everything, figure everything out.

I'm still a little nervous about his past, but I'm sure I can manage it.

I don't think I could ever run away from this man, ever.

Another or so passes and the time seems to have flown by.

"Daddy" Theodore calls from beside him, yawning big and rubbing his little eyes.

Christian smiles looking to him, "Awww you tired Buddy?"

He nods and Christian lifts him up into his lap and cuddles him close.

I notice Mrs. Grey gazing over watching Christian with Theodore with such love in her eyes.

She's so proud of them.

She looks at all of her children that way, Mia and Elliot too.

She truly is amazing.

"I think I better head off, he's getting sleepy"

"We'll all join you, darling, it's been a long day" Mrs. Grey smiles and Mr. Grey calls over the waitress for the tab.

I pull my purse out of my bag but Mrs. Grey shakes her head.

"This is on us sweetheart"

"What? No, I couldn't possibly...Mrs. Grey…"

"We insist….and please…call me Grace" She gives me a small wink but I sigh in defeat simply smiling brightly at her. I know I won't win. I've realized no matter what I say, she'll convince me otherwise.

I'm here at the meal, I'm drinking champagne and staying over tonight….she's won every battle.

"Thank you…Grace" I smile gratefully and she gives me a small nod in acknowledgment.

Once the tab is settled we all make our way to the private taxi.

"Ana" Theodore mumbles sleepily as he reaches his arms towards me.

I look at him smiling, then to Christian as if asking for permission but he simply hands Theodore over who curls into my chest and rests his little head into my shoulder yawning.

"He's a lucky boy"

Wh-what?

I look up to Christian, did I just hear correctly?

He's opening the taxi door smirking and when I see his smirk, my cheeks flush brightly.

Great.

Climbing in making my way to the back seats with Theodore and I cradle him against me letting him sleep.

Christian takes the seat next to me, watching a sleepy Theodore in my arms and again, his hand moves to my thigh and I bite my lip harder.

I press my knees together when I get the same strange feeling coursing through my body but mainly between my legs.

"I'm dying to kiss you" He whispers, quiet enough so nobody else hears as they all climb into the taxi. Kate and Elliot sat in front of us making googly eyes at each other.

When the taxi starts to move, I turn my gaze up at him and bites my lip whispering back in reply, "Maybe you should…."

I watch as his lips curl into a small smile before gently taking my chin between his thumb and finger and presses his lips to mine.

I can't believe he did it.

With his family so close they could see too.

I hope they don't turn around.

I move my lips against him and it's everything I've waited all night for.

His lips so soft, so caring, so loving.

I smile against his lips before I slowly pull back, keeping my eyes closed.

He rests his forehead against mine and his thumb gently strokes across my cheekbone.

"I hope you won't leave after we talk…" he sighs softly as he continues to make me swoon with his one hand on my thigh and the other against my cheek.

I don't think I could leave, even if I wanted to.

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	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20…

I just couldn't help myself.

She looked so beautiful and enticing.

I slipped my hand under the table and let my hand rest against her thigh. It was a daring and bold move especially because we haven't spoken yet and we haven't figured anything out.

But, I just had to.

I was afraid she would pull away or look at me in disgust.

But she didn't. She didn't do either of those things.

Instead, she gazed at me. Her blue ocean-like eyes gazing into my own. Her lips curling into a smile at my touch.

And, she was blushing.

She didn't push my hand away, she didn't scold me in front of everyone for doing so.

She simply welcomed my touch.

This is something I've never done before either, I've never felt a draw like this with a woman. A draw that makes me want to have her close, feel her skin under mine, hold her hand, kiss her lips.

I crave her and I want her.

Reluctantly, when our food arrived I had to move my hand away so I could help Teddy with his food and eat my own.

When I removed my hand I noticed how her hand moved into the space replacing it.

I wondered if she missed my touch, wondered If she'd let me do it again.

I already know so much about this girl, but I want to know more.

Teddy reaches sleepily for Ana as we make our way to the private taxi and I watch as she takes my boy into her arms and holds him close.

Seeing the way she cares for him, the way she holds him… It does things to me.

"He's a lucky boy" I whisper teasingly and I know for a fact she hears me when her cheeks flush their usual beautiful pink.

I've been dying to kiss her all night and again, she gave me the green light which I willingly took. Teddy asleep in her arms, everyone else sat in front of us, I took the daring move and I kissed her slowly.

Until her, I had never kissed this way before. But with her, it's different. She makes me want to take things slow, she makes me want to feel every inch of her.

The way her soft lips move and mold against my own.

I've never been so turned on by a simple kiss.

I hope she didn't notice that my pants had suddenly become a little too tight.

Once we arrived at the house, we made our way inside.

"I have some pajamas for you Ana" Mia smiles at her and heads upstairs to collect them.

"Thank you" She replies gratefully still cradling Teddy in her arms.

"Now Ana, make yourself at home…if there's anything you want or need don't hesitate to ask"

"Thank you, Mrs…I mean Grace," Ana says sweetly and looks from My Mom, up to me.

"Christian will show you to the spare room" Mom gives me a small wink and I roll my eyes.

She's not obvious at all.

But, I wonder if Ana would stay with me if I asked.

Is that moving too fast?

I don't want her to think anything.

I don't want to give her the wrong impression, but fuck would I love her to stay in my room.

Again, what the fuck is this girl doing to me? I've never shared a bed with anyone except Teddy.

Kate and Elliot go up to his room, My Dad heading to bed and My Mom making a fuss of Ana being here.

She's so excited Ana is here.

Mia comes back downstairs smiling handing Ana a pair of her light blue silk pajama pants and a tank top.

"Thanks, Mia" Ana smiles gratefully.

"No problem" Mia returns her smile before heading into the kitchen.

Ana carried Teddy to his room and I rest against the door frame watching her move the blankets around him.

He stirs a little, mumbling something in his sleep making Ana giggle quietly, then she turns to face me.

I reach my hand out for her which she willingly takes.

"Let me show you to the spare room…" I smile and guides her two doors down the hall.

"Did you still want to talk?" She asks and I can sense the hint of nervousness in her voice.

Fuck, trust me, I'm just as nervous.

I simply nod as I open the door, "I'll let you get settled first"

"Wow, this is beautiful…." She walks inside smiling.

Her eyes light up at the furnishings inside.

It's like a modernized version of the old fashioned Victorian style they had way back when.

I knew she'd love it because I know she loves her novels and I stand there chuckling to myself as she swoons over every single item.

The chair.

The lamp.

The window seat.

Even the bed covers make her excitable.

I continue to chuckle to myself simply watching her.

She places Mia's pajamas on to the end of the bed and smiles at me.

"My room is the one next door between this one and Teddy's… I'll leave you to get dressed, I'll be in my room when you're ready" I turn opening the door and I head out.

"Okay…"I hear her faint voice in reply.

My mind is reeling with a million thoughts.

How do I even start this conversation?

How am I supposed to tell her about all the fucked up things I've done?

I move into my room and I get undressed myself, removing my shirt and pants and replacing my pants with my Pajama shorts. I start to sweat with worry.

Is it hot in here?

Fuck.

I can feel my heart pounding through my chest.

I can feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I sit at the edge of my bed with my head in my hands trying to think of ways to make my past look not so fucked up.

I'm failing.

No matter how I start, it always ends up in the same place.

I stand and I start to pace the room in an attempt to calm me but then there's the knock on the door I've been waiting for.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Moving to open it.

"Hey…" I say nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

And I'm shirtless, I didn't think this through very well, did I?

I watch as her eyes go wide at my half-naked state, then she looks down and away from my body.

Great, now things are just awkward.

Did she see the burns?

Is that why she looked away?

What if she's repulsed by them?

"Hey" She smiles returning my welcome and walks past me as I gestured her to come inside.

But she keeps her gaze down.

I close the door behind her.

Her eyes rake around my room, but I notice as she tries to keep her gaze away from my naked torso.

Feeling a little conscious I make my way towards my closet.

My brain filling itself with negative thoughts. Same as it always does.

Why would she want to be with someone like me?

Why would she think this is okay?

I look down at my scars that are reflecting into the mirror.

The burns are disgusting, horrible. Of course, she would look away when she saw me.

I can feel my walls building back up.

I'm fine on my own.

I'm fine.

Just me and Teddy.

I slam the closet door closed wanting to rid the mirror so I can't see my reflection any longer.

Forgetting she's here for a split second, my breathing becoming rapid, my hands clenching at my sides.

My past has fucked me up and I can't see when something good is happening to me. Constantly plagued by my past.

"Christian? Wh-What's wrong?"

I turn to look at her and I finally realize what I just did.

Fucking great.

"I…" I look down, I don't even have an answer. I can feel my nostrils flaring with anger.

Anger towards myself.

What the fuck am I even doing?

"Hey, …what's wrong?" She cautiously moves closer to me until she's stood right in front of me.

Her bright blue eyes gazing up at me with worry, my gaze finally moving to meet hers.

The adrenaline rushing through my veins and my entire body like lightning bolts through the darkest of clouds.

Her hand reaches up to my cheek and my eyes closed as I relish her touch.

I should let her go.

She deserves better than this.

She deserves better than me.

Her hand strokes across my cheek and uncontrollably I lean into her hand.

"You should go…," I whisper.

"Wh-What?"

"You should go…just go Ana" I turn away from her, the anger for myself growing.

The disgust for myself growing.

I don't want her to go, but she has to.

"I thought…."

My eyes finally open and I can see the drop in her expression.

She removes her hand from my cheek and just stares at me.

She takes a step back and looks away, her arms moving around her body like she's protecting herself.

I'm pushing her away again, I know I am.

What the fuck am I doing?

I can't push her away.

Apart from Teddy, she is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I have to stop my insecurities.

I have to stop thinking everyone is out to hurt me.

This is Ana, no one else.

She wouldn't do that.

Look at everything she has done for me, for Teddy.

I try to fight against my demons by telling myself all the positive things about her.

Trying to convince myself that she will never hurt me. She's not like everyone else.

She's different.

I stand there, just watching her and when I don't say anything she turns towards the door.

Fuck.

What the fuck am I doing?

I have to stop her.

I have to make her stay.

Fuck up Christian, grow some balls. I scold myself.

"Ana..wait… I'm sorry…I…" her hand is on the door handle when I reach her.

Putting my hand over hers and gently removing it from the handle to stop her.

She doesn't look at me but she allows me to take her hand.

Why do I keep fucking up?

Today was supposed to be a good day and now I've ruined it.

I'm so conflicted. Torn by my past and my future.

"Please stay…I…please just give me time to explain?" I look at her but she doesn't look at me nor does she reply.

She doesn't fight when I escort her to my bed and she sits at the edge of it.

What the fuck is she thinking?

I sigh sadly.

"I have this wall…it comes up sometimes and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out at you…" I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

Finally.

Finally, she looks up at me.

"I always think the worst, I tell myself negative things to try and make myself stronger by being alone, but with you…Ana…you make me stronger. You make me a better person, I just have so many insecurities. I've never done this, I've never wanted something with anyone, now you've come along and I'm not sure how to deal with it".

I move and I kneel in front of her, and I think she's in shock that I've knelt at her feet when her eyes follow me down on to the floor and she stares at me. "Please just stay and listen to me?"

She replies with a small nod.

I take her hands in mine and that's where I keep my focus as I talk. I don't want to be distracted, I don't want to see her reaction, I don't want to see her disappointment or disgust as she listens to my past.

So I focus on her beautiful and delicate hands.

"When I was four… My Mom, my real Mom, she overdosed…I was with her body for 3 days until they found her. I thought…I just thought she was asleep. She was always asleep because she would always pass out and I didn't think this time was any different. She was on the kitchen floor for 3 days and I covered her with my blankets to keep her warm. I tried to feed her cheese and drip water against her lips…but she was gone. Stupid I know".

I keep my focus on her hands that I've noticed have taken mine a little tighter now that I've started to speak, but I refuse to look up at her face.

I'm sick of the disappointment in people's faces.

"She would have men over all the time, a different guy every night but there was this one guy who would come around more often than the others…I used to hide. I used to find new places to hide in the hope he wouldn't find me but he always did. I remember the way the house constantly smelt of cigarette smoke, alcohol, sweat and mud every time he would come around. Then the smell of my burning skin as he doused his cigarettes against my chest. The way my skin stung at the force of his belt".

"Christian…." Her voice is small, soft, sad and sympathetic.

But I shake my head to put her off.

"That's why I got angry and defensive…I thought you noticed them…The scars I mean. I thought you were disgusted…."

"Christian….I wasn't disgusted… quite the opposite" She admits, "I was just taken by surprise that you were shirtless" Her voice so delicate and soft as she explains.

My negative thoughts deceived me once again.

Quite the opposite?

I want to ask, but I want to continue before I change my mind.

I feel the relief rush through my entire body at her confession.

So she wasn't disgusted or repulsed.

I finally look up at her and she has tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry…"

She shakes her head and squeezes my hand.

Is she crying because of what I've said?

I'm taken by surprise when she stands from the bed and walks around to the side.

She holds her hand out to me and I look curiously at her but I stand and I follow her regardless, taking her hand in mine.

She climbs onto my bed and gives me a small, sad smile with her eyes still building her tears.

She gently pulls on my hand gesturing for me to climb on next to her.

"Come here…" She says, her voice a little hoarse which I can only guess is from trying to keep her tears at bay.

I move on to the bed beside her and she lays next to me.

Both of us laying on our sides facing and gazing at each other.

How does she keep surprising me?

She's wonderfully amazing and I can't cope with her kindness.

It's overwhelming to me.

She deserves so much more than a fuck-up like me.

She takes my hand.

"They took me to the hospital after they found us, I was severely malnourished, dehydrated. Covered in bruises and burns. That's where I met Grace, my Mom. She said I had a huge footprint in the shape of a large boot across the bottom of my back and I vaguely remember the night it happened. I thought I could trip him up when he went after her…. I thought if he fell she would be able to get away. I was a clever kid, but not clever enough. He stood on me and still managed to get to her. I heard her crying, screaming and I went to my hiding place trying to block out the noises and the pain-inflicting my body.

After the hospital, I was put in to foster care. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I didn't have any friends. The older I became the Angrier I got. I hated the world and everyone in it. My Mom adopted me just after I turned 5. Elliot was already living here at the time. I didn't speak to any of them. The first time I spoke was when they brought Mia home…I felt I needed to protect her and look after her. I was worried she would end up like my Mom. Again, stupid I know. Elliot used to tease her and I would see red and beat him up too. I hate myself for the things I've done."

Her hand gently strokes across my knuckles in an attempt to soothe me.

"It's not stupid," She says quietly.

I look at her and I can see the tears rolling down her cheeks. I lift my hand up and gently strokes them away.

"As I grew up I hated the world even more. I started fighting, stealing, I was horrible. My Mom didn't know what to do with me."

I look at her and she looks at me with the saddest of eyes.

Full of sympathy and care.

But this…

This is it, this could be the breaking point to which I lose her.

How do I tell her about the red room?

How do I tell her about the need to fuck women?

How do I tell her about how all of this started?

Will she tell people?

She wouldn't, would she?

I should have just taken up boxing instead.

I hate my past.

I hate it.

I take her hand and I move it to my cheek.

I need to feel her touch.

I need to feel her close to me.

It could be the last time.

Her eyes scan mine with worry and her thumb strokes across my cheek.

I lean towards her and I kiss her deeply, passionately.

My tongue taking charge of her mouth for what could be the very last time.

Her hands move to the back of my neck.

My hand moving to her waist pulling her body flush against mine as a moan emits from her beautiful plump lips.

That sound. I'll miss that sound if she leaves.

I had to do it, I had to kiss her. I want to remember the way her lips tasted against mine. The way her tongue fights against mine. The way she's learned how to take my bottom lip between her teeth bravely.

The way a flick of my tongue makes her moan against my mouth and into our kiss.

I'll miss it.

I'll miss it all.

I'll miss the contact because what I say next, could make or break.

It could send her running.

But at least now…now I have one last kiss to remember her by.

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	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21…

"Don't cry" He said.

But how could I not?

How could he think I was repulsed by him?

That's so far from the truth, I'm so attracted to him I was afraid I was staring too much.

I was in shock when he opened the door and I was face to face with his toned, tanned and perfect body.

I hadn't noticed his burns until he mentioned them and explained them. Only then I did I notice the small lumps of skin that scarred his chest.

Everything he had told me clenched my heart with such pain and sympathy for him.

I imagined him being like little Theodore. His big and bright grey eyes trying to take care of his Mom.

I can't believe his 4-year-old self was with his mother's body for 3 days until they found them.

How could anyone treat a little 4 year old boy in that way?

How could a mother not protect her child from this happening?

And somehow, my heart burns in pain even further when I realize that Theodore almost experienced the same things.

But luckily, Theodore had Christian and further family. Christian didn't.

No wonder Christian was doing everything he could to stop Leila from seeing Theodore.

But why….

Why would Christian let his past repeat itself?

Why did he get someone like Leila pregnant?

All these thoughts blast through my entire mind as he kisses me deeply. Passionately.

I can feel the emotion rippling from his mouth and onto mine.

He's afraid.

I know there's more to come, I know what he's said so far wasn't everything.

Whatever is coming next, this kiss almost seems like a goodbye.

Is it going to be that bad?

After what feels like forever he pulls away from our heated kiss, finally allowing me to catch my breath.

His forehead resting against my own.

He gazes into my eyes and I move my hand to rest back on to his cheek, edging him to continue.

His hand moves to rest at my waist and his touch is simply divine.

His thumb making small spiral patterns along the tank top.

"I've had nightmares and terrors ever since, I'll feel the pain, I'll hear the screams, I'll feel the burn against my skin. I scream in my sleep until I wake up or someone wakes me up. The memories of those times keep haunting my dreams...So, I don't sleep very well, maybe 3 or 4 hours at most. I have no idea who my Dad even was…or is…there's probably so many possibilities…."

"I'm so sorry…." I whisper sadly.

His gaze moves away from me as he continues to talk.

"I was just turning 16 when I got expelled for punching my teacher in the face, breaking his nose and putting him in hospital. I have boundaries on my body…. the scars, whenever someone goes near them or touches my skin, I feel the same burn from when I was a child...It's like all of those memories come flooding back, the same realistic pain. The teacher put his hand on my shoulder as he walked past me and the pain came. My Mom lost it, she didn't understand why I did it and she didn't know what to do with me. I was lucky he didn't press charges."

My heart breaks for him. I'm finally understanding him more and more. I gently stroke my thumb across his cheek as he continues to tell me about his life.

"A family friend…My Mom's best friend was here with her when my Dad brought me home from school. She suggested, as punishment to go to her house every day I wasn't In school and help with her gardening. It was a way to attempt to calm me down and keep my hands in use on wheelbarrows and dirt instead of other people's faces. But instead, the gardening never happened…."

"What do you mean it never happened?"

He lifts his gaze to me and his eyes are full of sadness and painful memories.

And worry.

There's so much worry.

I almost want to tell him to stop, to put him out of his misery of reliving all these moments with me. But I need to know, I want to know.

I hate to see him so haunted.

"Please…try to understand, this was such a long time ago…If you have questions, ask okay?"

Oh gosh, it's happening. I simply nod in reply and try to encourage him. I'm not going to judge him and my hand gently strokes against his skin.

He sighs and looks down to where his hand is making circles against my hip.

"I became her submissive, she taught me how to put my anger into sex and dominance"

I press my lips together.

I am in complete shock.

Out of everything that went through my mind, this was not even on my list.

Grace's best friend?

it was like as If I was drowning underwater, everything seemed to slow down. Everything seemed like a blur. I felt my lungs struggling to breathe as I attempted to find the words I needed to say but nothing came out.

His eyes desperately searching mine….Waiting.

I had to say something, but what could I say?

"Your Mom's friend…she…I….Does your Mom know? How…? Does anyone know about this?"

I'm at a complete and utter loss for words. I have so many questions. I need so many answers.

But how? I try to talk but my words emit in a complete and utter mess.

"No, Nobody knows, only her and now you…"

"Christian…I…." I can feel the tears once again brimming in my eyes.

"It helped me, Ana, as fucked up as it sounds….It helped me. I got back into school and I did well…. she taught me how to put my anger into being a dominant. She helped me start my business, my apartment….I found more women who were interested in being submissives and it continued from there"

"Wait, do you still speak to her?"

"She's a family friend…so we come in to contact every so often. Its very rare but she still gets invited to some of the charity events because my Mom doesn't know and I don't have the heart to tell her. I avoid her as best I can. She's never met and never will meet Teddy. Our lives are separate now, everything has changed and everything is different, it was a long time ago"

And so as the quietness grows deeper between us, I hear my heartbeat. Beating faster than I have ever heard it.

How am I supposed to process this?

He's a dominant.

"Say something…." He asks pleadingly but I have no idea what I'm supposed to say.

I lift my lashes to look at him and my eyes betray me as my tears spill down my cheeks.

"So you…and her…you both….you had sex?"

He simply nods and I close my eyes.

"She's a child abuser…."

"I can see why you think that, but without her…my life wouldn't be the way it is now. I'm not proud of it. Not of any of it….I look back and think...If anyone did that to Teddy I'd fucking kill them…"

"Do you regret it?"

My hand moves from his cheek and wipes my eyes.

I'm struggling to cope with this.

"I can't say I regret it, because… it did help. In a weird fucked up way it helped me. It helped me in ways no counselors or psychologists or anyone or anything could. Do I wish I could have found something else to fill the void? Yes, I do…. but I can't regret it. It gave me Teddy"

Theodore….

Of course.

Theodore changed his life for the better, I already know that.

"Do you still….you know…." I bite my lip too nervous to even ask.

If he does, I don't think I could stay.

That's not me, I couldn't be a part of that.

"No…I don't, Leila was my last…and that was 4 years ago now. I haven't been with a woman since Teddy was born, I haven't wanted to….until now. But with you, it' been different."

That surprises me.

He hasn't been with anyone since then? He must have had women falling at his feet.

The silence lingers in the air once again and I'm conflicted.

I can see the worry in his eyes as he searches me.

Searching for my reaction but I'm unsure of how I'm supposed to react.

I want to ask him questions, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want to know any more of the answers.

I feel the panic rising in my body, the worry that could grow or fade with what I do or say next.

If I let this fade, then this conversation is bound to come back around again another time, because I have so many questions burning around inside of my head.

If I don't ask then the vortex of questions will continue around and around chasing its own tail inside of my brain.

It's better just to get it all over with now right?

Let it make or break us right at this moment.

"How many women…."

His hand stills at my waist and he looks down as if he is almost ashamed.

"15…. all of who signed NDA's and are sworn to never release what went on between us…"

"Except Leila did…"

He nods and he sits up in the bed, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

15 women.

That's a lot of women.

"I'm fucked up…I know I'm fucked up…." He stands from the bed moving away from me and he rests his head against the wall.

But he's not.

Not anymore.

Or not like he was.

"I didn't love any of them… I didn't want any of them…when I'd get angry I'd fuck them. I'd drink, I'd get high….and I'd fuck them. That was it. It meant nothing."

I'm not sure my ears can handle this.

"It was consensual….They wanted it just as much as I needed it. I have never had any of them stay in my bed. I never wanted more with any of them. The sex is where it stopped. I had no feelings, nothing. Teddy wasn't planned as you already know. I've never been in a relationship, I've never had sex in my own bed, I've never kissed anyone…I've never kissed anyone the way I've kissed you…"

He kisses me with such care and gentleness, I'm so surprised.

My head is pounding with this new information.

"How…I mean…How did you do this, with your boundaries?" I bite my lip as I talk calmly, I don't want him to get angry.

"They would be tied up…their hands would never be free" He replies sharply.

I watch him and he continues to lean against the wall.

I can see the pain rippling through his body as he tries to process his past.

I want to help him, I do.

I'm overwhelmed and completely taken by surprise.

But now I'm worried. I'm worried I won't be enough for him.

But, I'm drawn to him.

I can't let this connection go.

I stand from the bed and I carefully move across the room to where his forehead is still rested against the wall.

But then I remember…

When we've kissed, I've touched him.

I've touched his shoulders.

His arms.

His neck.

Did I avoid the boundaries?

When I reach him, I stand against the wall so I can see his expression.

No trace of tears.

His eyes narrowed, rigid and cold.

At that moment I knew he was far away. Far away thinking too deeply into his past.

I knew he could turn any moment and attempt to push me away.

I can't let him do that, I need to get him back to where we were.

Now I know everything, now he's told me. I can help him bring him back to the kind, selfless and true Christian he is when he's with me and Theodore.

"Does…Does it hurt when I touch you?"

His eyes finally turn to look at me and when he sees me standing so close beside him, I notice the anger start to melt from his possessive eyes.

He shakes his head in response and he's breathing a little heavily.

His eyes staring into mine, like the color of ash once the fire has burnt out. Matching his current emotion.

"Why are you still here?" He asks me.

How could he think I'd leave him?

"Because…I care about you…and I don't think a past should define who we are now. Everyone has a past whether it's good or bad…we either let it bury us or let it help us grow… You're an amazing man Christian, you're a wonderful father to that little boy…You've shown me chivalry and tenderness and every moment we spend together I keep falling more and more. You don't do any of that stuff anymore, why would I leave because of something that happened before I even knew you? Yes, It will take me some time to process it… and I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson. But besides all of that, my main worry is one simple question…will I be enough for you or do you need more, because I don't think I could ever give you that?"

His large but soft hands move to my waist and he has almost calmed completely.

"Mrs. Robinson?" I hear a chuckle come from deep within his throat but he tries not to show how amused he is by my new name for her. For this unknown woman who churns my stomach inside out at the thought of what she did to him.

After everything he has told me, my mind is completely reeling, but I know, I've never felt this way about anyone and I know that I'm not walking out the door when he needs me.

But after everything, he's been through, after everything he has done.

Can I be enough for him?

"You're already more than enough for me Ana… "

The heat rises in my cheeks and I look down blushing.

"Stay with me tonight?" He asks as he pushes my hair behind my ear.

He's so gentle.

So soft.

This is a first for him, having a woman stay in his bed.

I must admit I am petrified.

What if he doesn't enjoy it?

I mean, how do I know I would enjoy it? I've never done it either.

I guess this is a first for us both.

I simply nod in reply and I give him a small smile which he returns as he takes my hand and escorts me back to his bed.

We climb back on and lay face to face with each other the same as we did only 10 minutes ago.

He reaches down and pulls the blankets around us and I welcome the warmth.

It's almost 3 am.

Where has the time gone?

"I want to tell you something….."

I need to tell him just incase it changes things for him. Just incase he realises maybe I won't be enough for him when or if that time ever comes between us. Obviously not tonight, it's been too overwhelming and emotional and i'm not that type of girl. But who knows where we'll end up and I want him to know everything too.

"What's wrong?" He cups my cheek.

"This is new for me too…." I assault my bottom lip with my teeth.

"Being in bed with someone?" He carefully strokes my hair from my face as I gaze at him nervously.

With a simple nod in reply I can feel my heart pounding, "I..I haven't…."

I quickly look away feeling a little embarrassed.

15 women, he knows what he likes. He knows what to do. I have no clue.

That's why I'm worried I'll never be enough for him.

I won't be good enough for him.

He uses his finger to gently lift my chin and makes me look up at him.

His eyes searching mine with confusion until suddenly, he realises, what I am too embarrassed to say out loud finally clicks.

"You've never had sex before?"

I simply shake my head as an answer.

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	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22…

She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.

I can't believe she has never been with a man. She's so beautiful that men must fall at her feet.

She was worried it would change things for me. How could that change things?

Her innocence astounds me honestly. She should be proud, not embarrassed.

I hope one day she will give herself to me and I would make her mine, forever.

Her first and last.

I want that, I want it so badly. Rather than push me away which she feared it would, it's made me completely and utterly fall head over heels for her even more than before.

The thought of being her only sexual partner makes my lips curl into a small smile. It would be a first for the both of us.

I feel like it could almost be a new starting point for me. For her too.

Both of us being each other's firsts in so many ways.

She is incredible.

I gaze down at her sleeping state next to me.

Her hair laid out across one of my pillows. Her features are so calm, so youthful. I want nothing more than to curl up against her body and join her in her blissful state.

I still can't believe she is still here after everything I told her.

But I can't sleep.

I feel ashamed, embarrassed, panicked even.

Thinking back to everything I told her, thinking back to her reaction.

I found it amusing at the time but thinking about it now. It wasn't.

_"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson" _

Mrs. Robinson.

I can't believe she called her that, but honestly? I can see why.

Her voice still ringing through my mind as I lay beside her sleeping state.

_"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson"_

_"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson"_

_"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson"_

_"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson"_

It plays over and over and over again.

She was a friend to me for so long. She got me back on my feet.

It was her that stopped my rages.

It was her money that initially started my business.

It was her money that got me into my apartment.

She was like a comfort blanket to me for so long.

My Mom started to look at me with pride instead of disappointment.

My Dad started to look at me with more love instead of worry.

I started talking more, I started getting involved.

But now, since telling Ana about her, something has stirred inside of me and something just doesn't feel right.

How could I think she helped me? She did of course. But it wasn't normal.

It wasn't okay.

If anyone did that to Teddy I would kill them.

I can't tell my Mom about it, I really can't.

But somehow I need to cut ties with her, I need to let her go from my life.

Ana truly has stirred my emotions deep within me and now I think about it, my answer has changed.

I do regret it.

I regret it all.

If I could go back and change my decisions that day.

If I could go back and walk out of that room I would, but now, it's too late.

I can't change it.

But I can change what I do next.

I can change my future and that's what I intend to do.

I lay there staring at the ceiling, overthinking, over-worrying until Ana pulls me out of my worrying trance.

She turns over in her sleep and I can't help myself.

Now her back is facing towards me, the soft, smooth curve of her neck on show.

I want her close, I want to feel her close to me. I need her touch, her embrace, her electricity.

I gently rest my hand at her waist and I curl up behind her.

My head gently resting into the back of her neck.

I just want to know what it's like to hold someone. To feel someone you care about so close to you. To sleep next to someone without any of the other intimacies.

This is the exact medicine I need.

She must feel my embrace around her because she entwines her legs with my own as I spoon against her back, holding her body flush against mine. Within seconds her body is molding perfectly into mine calming the storms of my heart and the vortex in my mind.

In the darkness, she's like a touch of heaven.

In the darkness, she's my light.

She's making me see things more clearly.

She's still here with me despite all the fucked up things I've done.

She keeps surprising me and astounding me and I hope she will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.

This is the first time I have shared a bed with a woman and this is her first time sharing a bed with a man. That's all we've done is lay here and hold each other, no touching, nothing sexual, just simply enjoying each other's company. It's strange to me but I've found it's more intimate than anything I have ever done before. I find myself smiling and moving further into her neck as I close my eyes.

The rose-scented fragrance, emitting from her skin. A scent I will crave from now until the day I die.

She's calming and melting my heart, she's giving me some common sense for the first time. My fast beating heart starting to slow the longer I hold onto her, finally, sending me into a peaceful sleeping state.

When I wake the next morning I'm laid out on my back. The blankets half-covering my torso.

I stir when the sun shines through the window and straight into my eyes.

I didn't have a nightmare last night, I slept.

I actually slept.

I look at the clock and it's just turning 8.

I turn my head to the side but, my bed is empty.

Where she lay only hours ago with me wrapped around her body as we both slept, is a space that is now cold and lifeless.

I sit up slightly and I can feel my brows furrowing.

She's gone.

How did she leave without waking me up?

Why did she leave?

Why did she stay last night only to leave without saying goodbye this morning?

I run my hand through my hair.

I am such a fuck-up, of course, she wouldn't fucking stay.

Now she's had time to think about it.

Now she's had time to realize how fucked up I am, she's gone.

I don't blame her.

Fuck.

I climb out of the bed and Mia's pajamas are folded on the table by the window.

I shake my head at my idiocy and I can feel my wall already building back up in front of me, freezing my heart over once again.

But then…

I hear a sound.

A sound I wasn't expecting.

I hear Teddy's laugh, so light and carefree.

A name is called and I can feel my wall slowly crumbling back down.

She's still here?

Wh-What?

I move to my bedroom window that overlooks the gardens and I gaze down.

"Ahhhhhh, Ana!" Teddy squeals laughing running around the grass in his pajamas and then, coming in to view, there she is.

She's chasing and playing with him

"I got you!" She laughs swooping him up into her arms making him wriggle and squeal excitedly.

Dressed in jeans and a plain black t-shirt, probably Mia's clothes that either Mia or my Mom gave her.

She's still here.

I can feel my lips growing into a small smile and I quickly clean myself up, get dressed and head downstairs to join my son….and my girl.

Yes, my girl.

I make my way downstairs and I lean in the doorway to the back steps, simply watching them together in the gardens.

They're sitting in the grass now beside the water fountain, Teddy sitting in her lap as he picks the daisy's from the ground and Ana smiling brightly as she shows him how to make a daisy chain.

"She's incredible" My Mom's voice comes from behind, quiet and gentle.

Her smile is so bright and full of pride.

Pride for me?

She hands me a cup of coffee which I willingly take.

"She is…" I try to say without the huge grin on my face but I fail miserably, I nod in agreement with her as I sip the liquid, taking the well-needed caffeine down.

I have so much to think about.

I know now what I need to do, I just need to build up the courage to do so and let go of the fake comfort I thought I've always needed.

"How long have they been up?" I look at my Mom who is leaning against the opposite side of the doorframe also watching Ana with Teddy.

"Only around 45 minutes I think …I found her looking for the bathroom this morning and just as I was showing her the way, Teddy's door was opening. He was so excited when he saw her, so she stayed up with him and they've been playing out here ever since"

"I thought…I thought she left" I admit.

"The way she looks at you...I don't think she's going anywhere, and I'm glad" She smiles brightly at me and gently cups my cheek. A gesture I used to hate her doing until recently.

I can see the change in me, I can feel the change in me.

I hope other people can see it too.

"I can see the way you look at her too… I'm so proud of you my darling boy…I like seeing you happy" I can see her eyes slightly glisten with liquid.

Oh Mom, don't cry.

"Daddy!" Teddy squeals finally noticing me and he comes bounding towards me in his little dinosaur pajamas.

Ana turns and I watch as her smile grows when Teddy calls and runs to me.

She stands from the grass and moves to make her way towards us too.

My Mom giving me a small wink and makes her leave back into the kitchen.

"There's Daddy's boy" I lift him into my arms and he giggles wrapping his arms around my neck, "How did you sleep, buddy?"

"Goods! Ana's hewes Daddy!"

I chuckle smiling and I look to Ana, "I know she is, have you been having fun?".

He nods smiling, "We pways and wook Daddy! Me and Ana mades dis!" He holds up the daisy chain making Ana laugh.

He's so smiley, and excitable and giggly when she is around.

The change she has produced in both of us is incredible.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I can honestly say, meeting Ana has been an incredible impact. There's a reason she's come into our lives.

"Hey" I smile at her, "How did you sleep?"

"Good…you?" Her cheeks blush as she reciprocates my smile.

"Best I've had…very comfortable" I smirk teasingly making her giggle a little more.

I love making and hearing her laugh, it's precious.

I'd love to have more nights like last night, both of us laying there, holding each other and just sleeping.

"My darlings…breakfast is almost ready" My Mom calls from behind us.

"Are you staying for breakfast?" I look to Ana, hopeful.

Please stay.

She nods smiling more, "Your Mom insisted and Theodore tells me his grandma makes the best pancakes so I couldn't say no" She tickles Teddy's tummy as she talks about him making him wriggle and laugh in my arms.

"Cans I sit wiv you, pwease?" He looks to Ana with his big wide puppy dog eyes.

He's such a charmer.

"Of course you can sweetheart," She says tapping his little nose and his smile grows brighter than ever.

Seeing the way they are together makes my whole body ignite with emotion.

We make our way inside and Ana and I sit beside each other while Teddy moves off looking for one of his cars.

"So…My friend has this art expo thing this Saturday… I was wondering if you'd like to join me?"

She asks.

I can tell by her voice she's nervous.

"I'd love to.. what time is it?"

"Really?" She looks a little surprised as she sips her coffee.

I nod smiling and I move my arm gently around her waist. I immediately feel my Mom's eyes watching me.

Yes, I'm showing affection. I know it's rare but I'm trying to make Ana feel as comfortable as possible.

"It starts at 6…Theodore could come too, I'm sure Jose wouldn't mind"

"Nonsense, I'll take him for the evening," My Mom says obviously listening to our conversation.

I roll my eyes but I can't help but chuckle.

She's trying her best.

"Thanks, Mom" I smile gratefully at her. "Teddy buddy, come on breakfast is ready"

He comes bounding over smiling and reaches up for Ana who willingly lifts him and places him into her lap while my Mom puts the plates in front of us.

"Thank you Grace," Ana says sweetly.

"Fank you gwandma" Teddy copies her, his mouth already filled with a piece of pancake making Ana giggle.

This is how I see my future now.

This is what I want.

Now, I know what I must do to make it happen.

Dad and Mia also join us for breakfast. Mia and Mom constantly talking and making a fuss of Ana, but it's nice to see. I'm glad they all like her.

After breakfast, I walk Ana to her car and I open the door for her.

But before she leaves I gently take her hand in mine.

"I want to thank you for last night…."

"Thank you for having me over…" She smiles and looks down at our hands.

"We should do it more often".

"I agree…." She bites her lip blushing even more.

"I have something to admit…When you fell asleep I laid there for a while, just thinking. Thinking further into our conversation…everything you said, it made me realize how stupid I had been"

"You haven't been stupid…you've been vulnerable… you've come so far, Christian. Your past hurt you but you've learned from it" Her hand moves to my cheek and I willingly lean into her touch.

"You and Teddy…you're all I need now" And as I talk her cheeks flush once again, making my lips curl greatly.

She strokes her thumb across my cheek and I lean down to capture her lips with my own in a sweet and tender motion.

I feel her smile against my lips and both my hands move to her waist. At this moment it's like the rest of the world has fallen away.

The familiar electricity rushing through my veins, the familiar feeling that ignites my body.

"I'll see you on Saturday" I whisper against her lips and she nods.

"I'll see you on Saturday…" She whispers back before she climbs into her car and drives away.

I find myself standing there.

Just standing there watching her go.

I already feel at a loss with her gone.

After everything last night, she hasn't faltered, she's been just as amazing. Just as truthful. Just as kind. Just as tender.

She accepted it all and she is still at my side.

She still kissed me.

She allowed me to hold her.

The terrors didn't come and sleep overcame me.

But her words still hold true, _"I'm not entirely sure I'm settled with the fact you still talk to Mrs. Robinson". _

I have to the cut ties, no events, nothing. It can't happen anymore.

I want to move on, I want Ana, I want a family.

I can't do that with the possibility of Elena showing up around every corner during events and parties.

Bringing Ana to family dinners, parties, charity events is my future now.

It's time to look forward and not backward.

I pull out my phone from my pocket scrolling through my contacts.

Elena Lincoln.

I click to dial and the phone starts to ring.

"Christian…" Her voice as husky and sweet as ever, but now I've found a new voice that comforts me so much more.

A new body that holds me the way I could have only imagined.

Ana is my medicine. My antidote and I have to do this for her and Teddy.

"Elena… can we talk?"

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A huge thank you to the hundreds of readers and reviewers I've had for this story!

I appreciate you all so greatly.

What has been your favorite part or parts so far?

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Please keep reviewing and following as I take all your comments on board to the best I can!

Stay tuned for another chapter coming soon!

Thanks again!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23…

It's Saturday and I promised my Dad that I'd spend the day with him as it's the first weekend he's had off work in a while.

I have missed him and we have so much to talk about.

We head to the little diner that's around a 20-minute walk from our house, but it has the most amazing blueberry pancakes ever.

We head inside and the waiter shows us to a booth near the window.

"Any drinks I can get for you while you look over the menu?" He smiles down at me.

"Can I get a tea please?"

"Of course! And for you sir?"

"Black coffee please, thank you" My Dad smiles up at him.

"I'll be back with those shortly" The waiter turns, making his leave from our table with another smile to me before he's out of sight.

"He seems to like you" Dad smirks at me and I roll my eyes laughing.

"Not funny"

We both laugh softly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately Annie…work has been crazy but I'll make it up to you"

"It's fine Dad honestly, we've both been working" I smile and soon enough the waiter is back with our drinks.

"Have you decided what you would like to order yet?" He seems to be smiling even more at me now and my Dad smirks. Please…no… I still need to tell him about Christian.

"Yeah…can I get the blueberry pancakes, please? Can I get extra blueberry syrup with those?"

"Extra syrup? I think you're already sweet enough" He winks at me as he jots it down into his notebook.

Oh my gosh, I'd like to curl up in a ball and disappear.

My Dad sat chuckling to himself across the table and I teasingly give his foot a tap with my own, underneath the table.

"And for you sir?"

"I'll get the chocolate chip pancakes with extra bacon please"

"Yes sir" He nods smiling and makes his way back out to the kitchen.

"Well he's a little full-on isn't he?" Dad laughs out loud as he moves his coffee to his lips.

"Just a little" I laugh with him as I sip my tea.

"Anyway, how is your job going? And the court hearing? I've missed so much...I really am sorry Annie"

"Stop apologizing" I smile reassuringly at him, "It's been great honestly, I love it there….although, my eyes have been opened lately. I'm feeling more myself again…I was thinking of maybe finally using my college major and looking for a publishing house somewhere when my contract has finished with the school…but at the same time, I love it there so much I'm not sure I'd want to leave"

"You'll do amazing at whatever you decide sweetheart…follow your heart and I'll be here, watching you proudly at whatever decision you make" He squeezes my hand and it makes my smile grow.

He's such a wonderful man.

If only my mother would have seen that.

"I actually have some news for you…." I bite my lip as I look at him and his eyes grow curious.

"What is is Annie? Is everything okay?"

"I've met someone…and..it's going well, I think. While you were away I spent a lot of time with them, we've got to know each other and I think we're going to try and you know…see how things turn out"

His smile grows wider, "I had a feeling there was somebody…you've had a glow about you".

"He's coming with me to Jose's Expo tonight…"

"And when will I get to meet the man that's captured my daughters heart?" He smirks teasing and I laugh softly rolling my eyes.

"Maybe tonight….he's picking me up at 5…"

"Perfect, I'll get my gun ready just in case"

"Dad!" I gasp and my heart pounds rapidly until he bursts into laughter.

"I'm joking Annie…as long as you're happy and he doesn't hurt you. Who is this mystery man, would I know him?" He sips his coffee listening.

Oh gosh, well where do I start with this?

"I first met him the night I went out with Kate and Jose… I then later discovered that he was Theodore's father, the little boy I testified For in court"

He almost chokes on his coffee.

I had a feeling that wouldn't go down very well.

"Ana….is….Is this a good idea? I want you to be happy and all…but…"

"Just meet him tonight? For me? He's wonderful and I know it's daunting…it was for me too when I realized who he was… but… just trust me okay? I really like him" I sigh and I take his hand in mine across the table once again.

He looks at me for what seems like the longest time. Just staring, thinking.

Clearly thinking hard.

He lifts my hand to his lips and looks at me sadly, "Look at my Annie, all grown up…I'm so proud of you".

I can feel my eyes brimming with tears but I'm not going to cry.

The rest of the day with him is wonderful, catching up, spending time together and enjoying his company.

It's almost 5 now and I'm still touching up my makeup upstairs. I'm a little nervous for him to arrive, I'm not sure if Theodore will be with him, or even his Mom with Theodore. He's been in work all day so we've barely spoken, that's all I know is that he'll be here at 5.

I move to the mirror and I gaze at my reflection.

My burgundy bodycon style dress clinging to my body down to my knees with a small 'V' cut split in the side landing at my lower thigh.

The cuffs at my shoulders giving the dress a beautiful formality to it.

The neckline plunging and finishing between my breasts, showing skin, but nothing too revealing.

It is a beautiful dress and completely different from what I would normally wear.

But I wanted a professional look, I wanted a formal look. I wanted dressy, but not too dressy and I think this dress is perfect.

I love having my paychecks and buying things like this.

I just hope Christian likes it.

My mind starts reeling, remembering the feel of his hand at my waist. The way his lips brush against mine. The way his body held me close to his in bed. I could imagine doing it forever.

He is constantly telling me how much I have helped and changed both him and Theodore. But what he doesn't realise is that he has done the same for me too. I feel so much more confident, so much braver, so much more focussed after meeting him.

Then suddenly, I'm pulled from the thoughts of him when there's a knock at the door and I feel a nervous shiver run through my body.

My hands starting to shake a little, becoming clammy and sweaty.

Great.

"Annie!" My Dad calls up and he's already opening the door.

Well, here goes nothing.

I start to make my way down the stairs just as my dad is opening the door revealing Christian.

My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat when I see him standing there in his grey suit with a bouquet of 12 beautiful deep red roses, making me swoon and my smile grow even more, like a little schoolgirl.

He's so….handsome.

So caring.

So kind.

"You must be Christian…" My Dad holds his hand out to him.

Well, that's a good start, right?

"And you must be Ana's father, Ray? She's told me so much about you"

"All good things I hope"

They both laugh and suddenly my nerves fade away.

I finally reach the last step, my eyes gleaming when he finally looks to me and his reaction to my outfit has my knees turning weak.

My eyes focus on the way he bites his lip, the way his Adam's apple moves beneath his skin, the way his breathing has increased and the way his ash like grey eyes rake down my body.

I can feel the heat rising in my body and mainly in my cheeks.

Goodness knows they're bright red.

He suddenly realizes my Dad is still standing with us and it makes me giggle slightly.

"For you…" He leans forward kissing my cheek and handing me the bouquet of beautiful roses.

"Thankyou…these are beautiful…"

"Can I get you anything Christian? Coffee? A beer?"

My Dad asks. I wonder if he saw Christian's reaction.

I'm feeling nervous again.

"No thank you, sir, I'm fine…"

My Dad kisses the top of my head "You kids have fun tonight….Christian, you better look after my girl" He teases.

"I will sir, I promise" Dad nods and leaves us alone, making his way back into the house.

"You look…you look amazing…"

His hand moves to my waist pulling me a little closer. My heart fluttering and my stomach somersaulting at his familiar touch.

I hold the bouquet of roses with my one hand and I move my other to rest on his shoulder.

"You look wonderful too, thank you for coming with me…"

"Of course… I couldn't give anyone else the opportunity to get their hands on you" He smirks making me laugh before he gently presses a small kiss to my lips. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'll just put these into some water…are you sure you don't want a drink?"

"Yeah, I'm fine thank you…" He smiles and waits for me as I quickly head inside and putting his roses into a vase.

"Enjoy tonight Annie, he does seem like a gentleman" My Dad hugs me gently which I willingly accept and I hug him back.

"I love you Dad".

"I love you, my girl".

Christian and I soon arrive at the warehouse where Jose's expo is taking place and we make our way inside.

Christian's hand at the small of my back feels divine.

I'm so glad he's here with me.

"Kate was trying to convince Elliot to come too, I'm not sure if he is"

Someone offers us champagne as we enter but we both shake our head's declining the liquid.

I'm already so hungry.

"Ana!"

I turn at the call of my name and my smile grows as Jose rushes towards me bringing me into the tightest of hugs.

"Jose… oh my gosh, this is amazing…"

"Thank you for coming Ana…it means so much to me you being here…" Jose's smile is bright and welcoming.

"Of course… Jose, this is Christian…Christian this is Jose..."

They shake hands but I can sense a small amount of tension between them.

Is that me being silly?

I'm not sure.

"Nice to meet you," Christian says.

"Likewise" Jose replies.

Then it goes quiet as Christian's hand moves back to my waist.

"Well…anyway…I better go and say hello to everyone else arriving…thank you again for coming Ana"

"I'm so proud of you" I smile giving him another small hug before he makes his way to tend to his other guests.

Christian and I start to make our way around the expo gazing at Jose's wonderful work.

"Seems I have some competition" Christian smirks whispering against my ear when we notice Jose again, looking our way.

"What?"

"He likes you…"

"Jose? Oh my gosh no way…he's my best friend"

"Trust me, Ana…he likes you. I think every guy in here has eye fucked you at least once… and he was not impressed I'm here"

I stop walking and I turn to face him, my hands moving to rest at his sides as I take a step closer grinning.

"Well, I'm impressed you're here"

"I'm glad to hear it" He chuckles and both of his hands move around my shoulders. Our bodies touching as he leans down and pecks my lips.

"But he still wants you" He teases.

But, his teasing doesn't fool me. He needs the reassurance which I willingly give him. I will keep telling him, I'm not going to leave. He's been through so much and he's constantly worrying about the worst. His insecurity astounds me, I mean just look at him. I still have no idea how I've become so lucky to have someone like him want me, but while I have him, I'm going to cherish it.

"Well…I have you" I smile against his lips before taking his hand and we continue our way around the expo.

"Ana!" Kate's voice comes through the crowd along with Elliot close behind her, holding hands.

"Christian"

"Elliot"

"Kate!"

We all exchange names laughing.

"Isn't it wonderful?" I say to Kate.

"It is…he's so talented"

I nod smiling more and I lean further into Christian's embrace as his thumb makes small circles along my hip. Elliot and Christian walk together, while Kate and I walk in front of them.

"I knew you and Christian were going to get it on" Kate smirks.

"Shhh…" I laugh looking over my shoulder but both men are deep into another conversation.

"Have you…you know…" Her eyebrows wriggle.

"Oh, my gosh Kate" I laugh nervously.

"Well have you?! come on he's hot…admit it, you want to" she smirks.

"Not yet…we've just kissed…"

"You seem happy" She smiles moving her arm around my shoulders, "I've missed my happy Ana"

"I feel happy" I smile more.

Another hour passes and we've managed to walk around the entire expo three times. Talking, Laughing, smiling. It's been nice.

Christian kisses the top of my head making my heart melt at his small gestures. I know this isn't his type of thing, but I'm glad he's here with me.

"Hey, you ready for something to eat?"

"I'm starving" I nod, "Let me go and tell Jose I'm leaving"

We make our way to find him, he's disappointed I'm leaving early but I have been here for two hours now and I'm so hungry.

"It's been wonderful Jose" hugging him and he returns the gesture.

"Thanks again for coming" He smiles taking my hand and kisses my knuckles. It's something he's always done.

"I'm so proud of you Jose… I'll see you for my birthday?"

"Of course you will".

I move back into Christian's arm as we take our leave from the expo. Kate and Elliot already left for a night club but I'm glad we weren't convinced to go with them.

A meal is more than enough for me tonight.

I'm hungry and I'm tired.

Christian made reservations for a wonderful little Italian restaurant.

We share pizza and mozzarella sticks. It's wonderful, just being the two of us.

Our first real date together I guess I could call it.

"Thank you again for coming with me tonight" I smile at him as he sits opposite me.

"Thank you for inviting me, it's been nice just the two of us".

I nod agreeing as I take a bite of another slice of pizza.

Our conversation flows between Theodore, my family, his family, our work, likes and dislikes.

It's been an eye-opener and we know each other even better than before.

"When is your birthday?"

"Not until next Friday, Kate and I usually celebrate together as our birthdays are so close together, She will probably drag me clubbing on Saturday…you should come"

"Maybe I will…"

"Maybe you should"

He nods smirking.

"What?"

"What?" He grins more.

I narrow my eyes at him and we both laugh softly.

"I'll come on Saturday if Teddy and I can take you to dinner one night for your birthday?"

"I'd like that…" I blush smiling, as he takes my hand across the table.

"I'll book us a table then"

"Perfect" My smile grows and I lace our fingers across the table as we continue our meal.

Our feet gently caressing each other underneath the table making my heart melt.

This man has me in complete awe of him.

Having him sitting opposite me, I feel like there's just the two of us in the world. Everything and everyone else has just faded away.

I feel like I could conquer the world when I'm with him, I feel like anything is possible.

I really am considering putting my major to good use at a publishing house.

Because of him, I'm reading more.

I'm writing again.

I'm smiling again.

I'm more of myself again.

I'm alive again.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at mine?" He takes my hand to his lips when he stops outside my house. He climbs out of the car moving and opening my door for me.

His hands immediately moving to my waist as they always do, like they just magnetize towards my body whenever we are close.

"My Dad isn't home very often and I'm sure he'll want to hear all about tonight….".

I move my hands to his shoulders smiling as I gaze up at him.

"Until next time then…"

I nod biting my lip as they curl into a small smile.

His head angling to the right, the way it always does when he's about to kiss me.

And his lips come closer….and closer…and closer…

Like a delicate butterfly of a kiss, our lips part but it's not an eager kiss. It's light, soft and gentle.

Our breaths mingling in the darkness only for our bodies to be highlighted by the moonlight.

His arms encircling me completely and my own moving around his neck, brushing through his hair and then resting at the top of his back, where I can feel his muscles through his shirt.

He pulls back resting his forehead against mine. I look up at him but his eyes are closed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…it's just…It's strange having someone touch me...there"

Oh gosh, I forgot. I was so caught in the moment. I quickly move my hands in fear of his boundaries.

"I'm sorry"

"No don't" He shakes his head, capturing my hands into his own and he moves them back to the position they were in. "It feels… good…just strange".

He gives me the smallest of smiles and I wish I could just give in and go home with him.

He leans down kissing me once more before whispering, "Goodnight Ana".

"Goodnight Christian" I reply with my own soft whisper.

Then I watch as he drives away.

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	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24…

_'Happy 22nd Birthday Beautiful, From the both of us. I hope work treats you well. Are we still on for later?'_

_'Thank you! I hope work treats you just as well. Yes still on for later if you are? My Dad leaves for work around 6 so I'll spend some time with him before I come over'_

_' My Mom, My Dad, and Elliot are all working tonight and Mia is heading out with her friends so we may have an extra little guy with us, I hope that's okay? Xx'_

_'Of course, it is, It'll be perfect having him there. I love having him around. I really can't wait, I'll See you soon'_

She is perfect.

She adds a kissy face emoji to the last one making me chuckle while I'm already sat here in work.

This girl has me in awe.

After last weekend, I've made every opportunity to see her. Coffee before work, picking up Teddy from school, inviting her to the park the same as we did before.

I know her Dad has been home all week and she's been really excited to spend more time with him before he jets back off for his work. He's spoilt her rotten because he's leaving again on her birthday, but honestly? I'm not complaining because now I can have her all weekend and spoil her too.

She deserves it.

Last weekend was great, it was nice to spend time together with just the two of us.

My hand protectively around her waist, touching her, holding her close at any moment I could.

Kissing her without the care of anyone watching or seeing us.

It was everything I've always wanted.

I must admit when I saw her friend giving her the eyes, I was ready to let my anger loose, let my wrath show him that she's mine and to keep his eyes and hands off her. That's how I would have acted If I hadn't felt her body lean into me like she wanted my touch. Only my touch. She calmed me, she reassured me and I've never felt so calm and relaxed in my life. Even when she hugged him, her eyes would remain on me over his shoulder and that was everything I needed to keep my jealous rage from blowing up.

She's officially mine now and I don't think I need to worry, do I?

Our dinner and the first proper date we've ever had went well. I learned more about her Mom, more about her life.

I just hope we're still together so I can watch her live her dreams and aspirations.

I hope she stays over tonight too, I gave her the option if she wants to.

I won't push it, but what I would give to hold her close, to feel her touch.

To sleep beside her again.

To have another night without a terror.

They still come now, but when I was with her when she was lying next to me, lying in my arms, I didn't get anything except for a peaceful sleep and a lay-in.

I hope she stays overall weekend…even tomorrow night when we go out for her and Kate's birthday, I hope she'll stay.

I feel like I'm starting my life all over again.

A new bright, optimistic beginning.

But first, I have to deal with my past.

And that…

That is happening today too.

After I called Elena that day, she said was working away until yesterday and so, we've planned to meet today.

I know, of all the days to meet, It would be on Ana's birthday. But, I'm optimistic and I won't see Ana until after 6 anyway.

I'm leaving work early to speak with her, pick up Teddy and then head home to set up for Ana's birthday surprise.

I am fucking shitting myself to see Elena.

I'm not entirely sure what to expect or how she will react to my decision.

It's been a long time.

Probably about 2 months since my Mom's last charity event. That was the last time I saw her.

She's been my comfort blanket for so long, but now thanks to Ana, I'm seeing that differently.

I look at the clock and the time is going so fucking slowly I swear, it's just taking the piss.

Business meeting after business meeting and finally, 1 pm chimes.

"Thank you, gentlemen, it's been a pleasure, I'll get all the necessary paperwork sent to you within the next 5 days" I pull my suit jacket back on gathering all of my notes.

"Always a good day doing business with you Mr. Grey. Until next time"

I nod with a smile and escorts them out shaking their hands as they leave.

Another business deal in the bag.

Let's hope my next deal works out just as well.

"Ros are you okay to hold the fort until 4?"

"Of course Sir, I'll let you know if anything happens…enjoy your evening"

"Thankyou…and take Monday off okay? A thank you for all of your hard work"

"Really?"

"Of course"

"Thank you, sir" She nods and I take my leave from the building.

I climb into my car driving through the streets pulling up outside of 'Esclava' Hair Salon.

Here goes nothing.

I walk inside and the usual eyes are on me.

All of her staff throw themselves at me every time I come in here, but I bypass them all.

I barely even look at them as I make my way straight to the back room and up the stairs knocking against Elena's door.

"Come in…" Her usual enticing voice summoning me in.

I take a well needed deep breath.

Fuck, I'm nervous.

I open the door and she gives me her usual bright smile.

"Christian, darling… you're here, come in"

She stands walking towards me, putting her hand on my cheek the same as she always does.

But awkwardly, I smile and I move around the room pretending to look around just to keep her hand away from me.

"You've changed the place…It's nice" I say before moving to sit down opposite her desk.

"Thank you…" She watches me curiously for a while and the silence in the air is murderous.

"You've met someone…" She says pointedly.

How the fuck?

"What?"

"You've changed… I mean you changed after having your little Theodore, but you're even more so changed now…"

Fuck.

Well, now I am fucking sweating.

"I have…"

"I see…" She sits up a little more. "And why are you here now?"

"I want you to buy my share of this place…or at least Just keep your money and sign the contract to say it's yours and I have no part in it anymore. Here's a cheque for the business you helped me start and the money you gave me to move into the apartment…"

"Christian…why are you doing this?"

"I'm happy with her. My Mom is happy I have met someone. Mom really likes and approves of her. She's amazing with my son. She will be accompanying me to the dinners and the events from now on and I don't want her to feel awkward when she sees you there and…."

"You don't want me there because you've told her, haven't you? "

She cuts me off.

How does she know what I'm going to say before I fucking say it?

Am I that obvious?

Fuck.

Keep strong, this is for Teddy and Ana Christian. Keep strong.

"That's right" I agree with her.

"Is that really what you want? You want me to just disappear?"

"I guess… I can see my future, finally, and I want a new start"

"I see…." She sits back pursing her lips.

Pursing her fucking lips.

Fuck, she's so pissed.

"I just want to move on…you're married now, I just want that too"

My hands are almost shaking. She just stares at me. She's thinking. Thinking for too long.

Then, her lips curl into a small smile and she rests her elbows onto her desk looking at me.

I feel like that 16 year old boy again.

It's weird.

I feel like I'm in a trance as she gazes at me.

Think of Ana.

Think of Teddy.

"You don't have to sell me your share Christian…it's good business here and you'll need it for your future family. As for the events, I'll try my best, but you know how your mother can be"

Is she?

What?

Fuck.

Why is she being so understanding?

"Look, I don't want your cheque or your money…" She slides the paper back towards me. "take it back and think about it. Come back here next Friday and give me an official answer. Don't Rush Into it and if it's what you want, then I will sit here and sign next Friday, okay? I can tell by the nervousness in your breathing that this is a hasty decision on your part, I don't want you to make the wrong one. We can still be business partners and friends".

Fuck.

Now, what do I do?

I'm normally so good with people, but with her, she knows everything.

"Think of the money you're getting from this place… but as for the events, I will stay away"

She assures me and I run my hand through my hair in frustration.

I stand from my seat and I look at her.

Teddy.

Ana.

Teddy.

Ana.

Teddy.

Ana.

Teddy.

I look at her, I really look at her.

I can either listen to her and come back next Friday, or I can, right now, start a fresh. Start a life I've always wanted. A life for me and Teddy. This is the last tie.

"I'll have the contract sent to you by Monday and if you could sign it and have it sent back to me along with a transfer of the money for my share of the business. This is what I owe you from our past…" I put the cheque back on to the desk sliding it towards her before making my way to the door, "I'm done with Escalava, I don't need it anymore".

"No Christian...what you're saying is, you're done with me," She says a little coldly but I don't have time to listen to anything else she says as I'm already into the shop floor and out of the front door.

My heart pounding so quickly I fear it may come beating out of my chest.

I can't believe I just did that.

It's done.

It's fucking done.

It's over.

Now, I can focus on Teddy and Ana and my family.

It's almost 3 now and I make my way to the school to pick Teddy up.

Lo and behold he's stood right next to Ana babbling away making her giggle.

I hope he makes friends at some point, but he's only four, I'm sure it'll come.

He's already so much more confident and chatty since befriending Ana.

I hope she continues to help him.

I hope he'll one day find a woman as amazing as Ana is.

"Look who's here…" I hear Ana say as she points to me smiling.

"Daddy!" He comes bounding towards me making Ana laugh.

"There's my boy… how was school?"

"Goods, Ana bwoughts cake Daddy for hers Birfday!" He smiles and rests his little head onto my shoulder. I smile brightly kissing the top of his head.

"Oh did she now? I hope she saved Daddy a piece" I tease smirking at her making her laugh.

"We ated it all Daddy, all da childwen ated it".

"Oh no really? Well, you're very lucky…" I tickle his tummy making him wriggle and laugh.

"Is Ana comings tonight for da suwpwise?"

I chuckle and looks to Ana, "I think she is"

"Of course I am, I can't wait. I'd better get going actually, my Dad wants to see me before he leaves and then I'll come right over?"

"Perfect, text me when you're leaving?"

"I will"

Teddy and I make our way home and we start to set up Ana's birthday surprise.

It's not much, but it's nice…and it was Teddy's idea.

I googled a few ideas, candles, fairy lights, a projector screen with a movie and a whole bunch of snacks and pizza ordered on delivery for 7.

Teddy loves his little boy caves. And by boy caves, I mean blankets that make a little tent in the middle of my living room as we lay there watching movies, eating snacks and gazing out at the city from our window.

We really enjoy it, I just hope she will too.

I just hope she isn't too disappointed.

I'll take her for a real meal just the two of us at some point, I just want Teddy to feel involved too.

Teddy and I lay blankets along the floor followed by some pillows and fairy lights canopying around the entrance of the little blanket cave.

On the coffee table, I place a beautiful birthday cake I've had custom made for her.

I wanted it to be special and I wanted to show her how much I appreciate her.

I place a few little small gifts around the cake and Teddy comes up to me, reaching up smiling excitedly, and I willingly take him into my arms.

"Its pwetty Daddy" He points to the lights making my smile grow.

"Do you think Ana will like it?"

He nods excitedly and wraps his arms around my neck nuzzling into me cuddling.

"I wikes Ana Daddy, I wished she stays fowever"

"Me too Buddy, Me too" I kiss his head smiling. "Do you want to put your Jammies on ready for when she arrives?"

His bedtime is normally soon, but if he can stay awake long enough I'll make an exception just for tonight.

He nods smiling, "Cans I wear my Wion jammies?"

"Your lion ones?" I tickle him making him laugh even more.

"Raaawwrr"

We both laugh together before heading to find his Lion Pyjamas.

I love the little man my boy is becoming. So happy, so carefree, so excitable. He truly is my everything and I'm so proud of him.

I've also given Gail the night off, she deserves it.

And Taylor too, his new security recruits have been wonderful so far and by giving him the night off, I've kept Prescott and Sawyer here in the apartment with us so he can go and spend some well deserved time with his daughter.

With Leila behind bars, my only worry is the media for the moment. But I know, they can't get to us all the way up here.

It's been pretty quiet though. I've had a few people sneak pictures. One or two tabloids written about me, but nothing too serious. It's been maybe even too quiet, normally they're dragging up the court cases, the past life, the hearings, the girlfriends, the everything. Maybe my security is even better than what I already I think of them.

I do want to find us a new place though. This apartment just doesn't seem fit for my needs anymore.

_'Dad is just leaving, I'll be there soon A x'_

My smile grows brightly when my phone pings and I see her name and text.

She's coming.

I hope tonight is okay for her, I feel so nervous.

_'Perfect, see you soon :) C x '_

After getting Teddy into his pajamas, he smiles looking at Ana's cake.

The white frosting, surrounded by beautiful deep red edible roses similar to the ones I gave her last weekend. Inside, a moist, delicious two-layered, chocolate gooeyness being held together by a melted chocolate layer inside. Her name written across the icing in the same deep coloured red as the roses and the number '22' underneath. It's plain and simple but elegant and significant. And it's a cake, everyone likes cake, right?

I hope she likes chocolate, I'm not entirely sure.

But roses, I know she likes roses.

It's the thought that counts though, right?

Fuck I am so nervous, I hope I haven't fucked up.

I look around the apartment but it does look pretty decent to be honest. Considering I've never done the dating thing, I think I've done a pretty good job.

Plus with Ana, she's so laid back, I genuinely think she would have been happy with anything.

Walking around, I light the candles trying to set a romantic, outdoors theme. And then I light the candles to her birthday cake, making the beautiful roses glow.

When Google gave me the idea for a candlelit picnic, I figured that was fucked from the start because I don't have a garden, but with the help of Teddy and his little boy cave ideas, we've managed to make our apartment look pretty cozy. We've managed to turn our plain and elegant apartment into a candlelit living room picnic instead.

It's all ready for her arrival.

I hope she likes it.

I've also put up a few Happy Birthday banners and a small number of balloons around too, that Teddy has been thrilled to play with while we wait for her.

Everything I have done tonight is so unlike me, but I am embracing the change. I've never needed to make the effort for a woman before, but now, that has all changed.

The elevator pings with her arrival, followed by Sawyer.

Teddy goes running over to her, making her laugh as she lifts him into her arms smiling brightly.

I wish I had met her years ago…I wish I could have started a family with her.

She's amazing.

I wish…I just wish….Teddy had a Mom like her from the beginning.

I wish I had a woman like her from the beginning.

My heart is pounding as I make my way over to her and I kiss her cheek.

I kiss her cheek in front of Teddy and we both hear him giggle in her arms as he rests his little head onto her shoulder.

I could do this for the rest of my life. All of us together.

"Christian…this is…you did all of this for me?" Her eyes are wide as she gazes around the apartment, currently only lit by fairy lights and candles.

"I wanted it to be perfect for you…"

"It's more than perfect…it's…wow…better than I could have imagined…Thank you so so much" Her smile is the brightest I have ever seen it and it makes me feel an extra beat in my heart.

So far so good Christian, so far so good.

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	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25…

When I walk into the apartment my heart skips a beat and my eyes widen at the thoughtful gesture.

Theodore comes bouncing over to me excitedly and I giggle lifting him into my arms.

My eyes are in awe as they're scanning the beautiful set up as I hold Theodore in my arms.

The whole apartment lit by the vanilla-scented candles.

Fairy lights hanging around what looks like a little blanket fort.

Banners and Balloons.

It's a little overwhelming.

My Dad has always made a fuss for my birthday and Kate kind of, but no one else has ever even attempted to make my birthday so meaningful.

"Christian…this is…you did all of this for me?"

"I wanted it to be perfect for you".

"It's more than perfect…it's…wow…better than I ever could have imagined…Thank you so so much"

I lean up kissing his cheek and I relish in his touch as his hand moves to my waist.

Theodore giggles as I kiss his Daddy's cheek making me blush and pull back realizing I've never done it in front of him before.

Oh gosh, what does he think?

"Comes and see Ana!" Theodore wriggles out of my arms and reaches his little hand up to mine.

He holds my hand as he rushes me through the apartment and over to where they have built the little blanket fort surrounded with the fairy lights.

I kneel on the floor so I can get a better look inside.

Blankets and pillows covering the floor.

It's adorable.

I notice the cake resting on the coffee table surrounded by a few small gift boxes too.

My eyebrows raising in curiosity and I look up to where Christian is sitting on the couch and smiling watching Theodore and me.

"They're for you….it's not much…"

"Christian…"

I am in complete and utter shock, he bought me gifts too?

He rubs the back of his neck nervously as I stand and I move to sit him.

"You didn't have to…."

His hand gently moves to cup my cheek and his lips curl into the smallest of smiles.

"I know, I wanted to…they're honestly not much. If you don't like them you can send them back"

"I already love them" I lean into his touch smiling as his grey eyes burn into mine.

He chuckles softly, "You don't even know what they are yet" he smirks.

"I don't need to…they're from you and Theodore and that's enough for me" I smile and I lean into him a little as his eyes gaze down towards my lips.

Closer….Closer…Closer…

"Ana! Daddy! Can we watch da movie!"

I smile hearing Theodore's adorable little voice bringing us from the trance of each other.

"Course we can Buddy, the pizza should be here any moment now…." Christian says lifting him into his lap. "I hope pizza is okay? Most of tonight was Teddy's idea" He admits, but the cake, the presents, the thought of it all…was most definitely him. Theodore just helped him along.

He's a clever adorable little guy.

"Pizza is perfect…thankyou… Are you going to choose the movie?" I smile at Christian and then down towards Theodore who reaches over for me.

"Cans I?"

"Of course you can"

"Can you hewps me pick?"

I giggle nodding and Theodore takes me down the corridor to his room.

As we head inside, he rushes over showing me his little shelf filled with DVDs and double the number of books.

He reminds me so much of me when I was little it makes me laugh as I kneel beside him.

"What's your favorite?" I smile at him.

"Uuuuuuhhmmmm…." He looks through the rows and rows of the DVD's, "Dis one!"

I smile brightly when he pulls Toy Story from the shelf.

"Shall we watch this one first?"

He nods excitedly and I lift him into my arms making our way back out into the living area just as one of the unfamiliar security guards enters the apartment with the Pizza delivery.

"Pizza!" Theodore points enthusiastically making me laugh.

"That smells delicious…"

Christian takes the large delivery from his security guard before making his way back over to us.

"I got two pizzas….I wasn't entirely sure what you liked so I got a cheese and a pepperoni, wedges, chicken poppers and cookies"

I smile brightly.

He's gone to so much effort, I am overwhelmed by everything he has done for me.

I wish I could just kiss him to say thank you.

But with Theodore around, I'm a little nervous about how to go about things.

When it's just been the two of us we've always had the little touches, the kisses, the holding…. but I don't want Theodore to be confused or upset.

I'm not sure what Christian wants him to know either.

"So our first movie is Toy Story…" I smirk at Christian and he chuckles.

"He loves that movie" We both giggle as we watch Theodore put the little disk into the projector.

The movie is being projected against the white wall in front of us from the cute little blanket fort.

Sitting inside on the blankets, the cardboard boxes from the pizza delivery opened as we all dig in.

Theodore is mesmerized by this movie.

Watching all of the toys coming to life.

"Who's your favorite?" I smile at him watching the movie too.

"Woody!" He grins making me laugh.

He's sat between us nibbling on his large slice of pizza that's just as big as his face, as his eyes are fixated on the wall.

I look to Christian who is sat there, looking at his son with such a loving and caring expression it makes my heart melt and swoon.

His hand running through the little tuft of his son's hair.

As I bite into my pizza I study his features, his face, his smile, his muscles.

His features highlighted by the simple fairy lights surrounding us.

I'm finally noticing his attire too. A simple pair of jeans and a regular black t-shirt.

He looks absolutely divine and he sends my heart racing.

He's wearing a wonderful smelling aftershave too and it sends my nostrils into complete euphoria.

A real man scent.

I can feel my whole body igniting.

He must feel my gaze on him because his eyes now meet my own making me blush.

Oh gosh, he caught me.

I feel so awkward.

He smiles and gets a little comfy beside me, laying down, propping his elbow up and leaning on it.

I copy him, getting a little comfortable against one of the pillows, while Theodore sits just in front of us, his eyes still hypnotized by Woody the cowboy.

Christian looks to Theodore, then back to me and he smirks leaning closer to me.

He takes my chin between his thumb and finger and he kisses me softly.

Gently.

Caressingly.

I smile against his lips.

I feel so daring, kissing him with his son sat right in front of us.

What would happen if he saw us?

How would he feel?

Would he be okay with it?

"I've wanted to do that since you first arrived" He whispers against my lips smiling.

"Me too…" I reply, admitting in return.

His smile grows and he does it again before we both pull back and we continue with the movie and dinner.

The pizza is almost gone with only two slices left, the chicken gone and Theodore is now munching on one of the cookies too.

Christian and I have resorted to laying against the pillows, not paying much attention to the movie anymore and more attention to each other and Theodore.

We're laid next to each other, pretty close that our shoulders are almost touching.

Our fingers laced between our bodies and his thumb stroking across my knuckles.

I feel strange, it's a good strange.

I think I'm honestly just completely and utterly overwhelmed by this man.

He makes me feel so…so…free.

He makes me feel things I've never felt before.

Honestly?

He makes me feel like I could give myself to him, completely.

I trust him, I'm falling for him and I'm finding my body reacting to every touch, every kiss, every moment we have and I can feel it all stirring up inside of me.

Is it normal to want to give yourself to someone so quickly?

I mean, I know girls do it all the time.

Boys do it all the time.

You know?

But I'm not your typical type of girl. I don't like rushing, I don't like benefits. It's something I have never done and I don't think I ever could do.

I'm kind of old fashioned that way, I want it to be meaningful with someone I care about.

Being pulled out of my overthinking when his hand gently brushes my hair behind my ear and I turn my head to the side against the pillow to look at him.

His eyes are glowing in the darkness, only highlighted by the small lighting.

"I'm sorry tonight wasn't a fancy dinner or a big party…I hope you weren't too disappointed" He whispers.

"Disappointed? It's been perfect…I don't want or need fancy dinners or big parties…All of this is incredible and more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you for spending my birthday with me, It's been the best I've had in years"

I lean closer and I kiss his lips softly, which he willingly accepts.

Smiling against his lips when I feel his hand gently stroke against my cheekbone, as he kisses me back.

After a few moments, I pull back smiling more and the credits start to roll against the white wall, signaling the end of the movie.

"Yayyyy" Theodore smiles standing up and drops onto his knees between us.

It's the first time he's pulled his eyes away from the screen since it began. He shuffles himself between us causing Christian to let go of my hand and tickle his tummy making him wriggle and writhe between us.

"Ana? Is you opewing yous pwesents?"

"I think she should" Christian winks at Theodore making him giggle and nod.

He stands up and his little feet move as fast as they can out of the little fort making me giggle even more.

"He's so adorable"

"He adores you" Christian smiles at me making me blush once again.

"He's incredible…such an intelligent little boy" I smile.

"I'm just happy to see him smiling again, that's thanks to you"

He kisses the top of my head before sitting up hearing the little patter of feet coming back to the fort carrying the small gift boxes in his little arms.

"Are these from you?" I smile brightly at him and he nods moving to sit in my lap making Christian laugh.

"Me and Daddy!" He nods looking to his Daddy.

"Well, thank you very much…." I cuddle him close and he smiles brightly leaning back into my chest.

I look to Christian who is now gazing at me as I hold his son like the world has disappeared and there's just the 3 of us left.

"Thank you" I smile at him and he simply nods in reply. "Which one should I open first sweetheart?"

"Dis one!" He hands me a biggish square one.

I giggle taking it carefully opening it with the help of Theodore's little fingers too, revealing Tess of the Durbervilles.

My eyes widening opening the cover.

First Edition.

What?!

This must have cost a fortune!

What!

I look at Christian who is sat there simply watching me.

Watching for my reaction.

"Dis one!" Theodore hands me another one.

I start to open it revealing Pride and Prejudice.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed.

The next is a little notebook and pen set, styled in rose gold.

The next is a beautiful necklace with a delicate and simple rose as the pendant.

I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes.

I lift Theodore smiling brightly as I hug him, his little arms moving around my neck.

"Thank you, sweetheart, these are amazing!"

He giggles as he hugs me tightly.

I look at Christian over his shoulder and I mouth Thankyou.

I feel so emotional.

I carefully lift the necklace from the delicate box.

"can you help me clasp it?"

Christian nods and kneels behind me, taking the chain. Feeling his fingertips brush along the skin of my neck sends electricity throughout my entire body.

It is a beautiful gift.

A little while later, Theodore has fallen asleep in my lap just after eating a huge slice of the amazing chocolatey gooeyness of the birthday cake Christian surprised me with.

Christian laughs seeing him curled into me and he smiles.

"I'll go and put him to bed…" He's lifted from my arms and taken to his room as I simply lay back against the pillows gazing up at the blanket ceiling.

Reminiscing about tonight's events.

It's been completely and utterly wonderful and I can't believe how lucky I have become.

I pick up Tess of the Durbervilles gazing through the pages making my lips curl into a bright smile.

We've barely known each other a couple of months and yet he seems to know me better than anybody.

He's taken the time to listen to my interests, to get to know me.

To surprise me for my birthday.

Despite all of his past issues.

Despite the bad man he claims he used to be.

He's so sweet, kind, caring, generous and loving now.

He comes back to the little fort and crawls under laying beside me.

His arm reaching out calling me into his chest.

Knowing about his boundaries I'm a little nervous but he's willingly asking me to move into his arms and I really don't want to decline.

I smile more and I move a little closer to him, his arm moving around my shoulders and he gently holds me against the side of his chest.

My hand moving around his torso and I can feel his muscles contracting beneath my touch.

I look up at him and his face is slightly pained in expression. I go to move my hand away but he stops me.

"It's just…strange…don't go…" He looks down at me sympathetically.

I feel so sorry for him, I want to help get through this.

I hope I can help him.

I gently move my arm back around him and he holds me close.

His rapid breathing slowly calming the longer he holds me until his beating heart is as steady as a slow beating drum.

His hand gently caressing through my hair as he holds me close.

"Stay with me tonight?"

I look up at him, his eyes are pleading with me and I can't say no.

I can't say no because I want to. I want to stay with him.

I want to be held in his arms all night.

"I forgot my things…."

"I can lend you some stuff…I have shirts…and I'm sure there's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom"

I bite my lip and I can feel my heartbeat a little faster.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

I nod and I watch as his lips curl into an even bigger smile.

He dips his head lower and kisses me softly before taking my hand and helping me to stand.

"Come..I'll get you some things…"

He takes me to his bedroom.

This is the first time I'll ever get to see it.

Honestly? I hope it's not the last either.

He opens the door moving to the closet and I gaze around the room.

Decorated in black, white and grey, it's such a manly styled room but I find myself in love with it.

It's so modern and beautiful.

The bed looks so comfy and amazing.

His bed.

The bed he's never had a woman in before.

The bed he's never had sex in.

The bed I'm about to sleep in.

With him.

I feel a little nervous now and he smiles pulling out one of his black shirts.

"Will this be okay? It's a little big for me, so it'll be longer on you"

I simply nod taking it.

"Thank you…"

"My en suite is…" He points, I think he's getting a little nervous himself too.

This is a first for him.

For the both of us.

It must be a big step for him. After everything he's been through, after everything he's struggled with it must be a little overwhelming for him.

I smile gratefully and I make my way into the bathroom, changing into his shirt.

I feel a little exposed.

It covers me mostly, landing just above my knee. But still…I haven't been this naked in front of a man.

I do the buttons up on the front and I keep my panties on.

But now my heart is racing.

I have to go back out there to him.

I feel completely nervous.

I slowly open the door playing my fingers against each other as I walk out.

His eyes widening and raking my body.

I can feel something burning in the pit of my stomach.

I can feel a rush of thrill run through my veins.

"Fuck…" I swear I hear him mumble as he stands from the bed and he takes a step towards me.

"thank you for the shirt" I give him a small nervous smile.

"Please…wear them whenever you want to…fuck…" Both of his hands move cupping my face and he kisses me deeply.

This kiss isn't soft like we have done all night when Theodore wasn't looking.

This kiss, like a teasing. Hot, Fiery, passionate and demanding.

I am completely and utterly consumed by him.

I have lost all my thoughts.

My hands move up resting behind his neck as his lips devour my own.

I'm lost.

I feel ignited in excitement and thrill.

He pulls back resting his forehead against mine, our breathing has become rapid.

Our lungs trying to take in the air.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me…." He whispers.

His eyes are closed when I look up at him.

I gently cup his cheek making him look at me and his eyes find mine and simply gazes at me.

His piercing grey deep into the abyss of my blue.

"We have time for more…so much more….whenever you're ready…" He simply strokes his thumb across my cheek and I nod in reply.

I do want him.

I want to give myself to him, completely.

But we do have time.

We have plenty of time.

Hopefully the rest of our lives.

We climbed into his bed and his arm moved around my shoulders.

He took his shirt off which I was grateful for because of my attire.

My legs are on show, it's only fair his torso is.

And now, I can thoroughly admire his amazing body.

"Thank you again for tonight" I smile placing a gentle kiss against his shoulder which causes him to pull me even closer.

Entwining our legs, I nuzzle into the side of his neck as he buries his face into my hair.

"Thank you, for everything... I hope... I hope I never push you away"

I hear his small tiny whisper and I simply place another kiss against his shoulder in reply.

I don't think I ever could ever leave him now.

I think I'm in too deep.

Completely consumed by him.

We hold each other for a while longer. I gaze out at the city that is clearly in view from his ever so large bedroom window. The city lights glistening in the moonlight.

We talk, we laugh, we smile, our fingers lace and play against each other, our legs entwining, we kiss, and then we drift off.

That's the last I remember until I'm stirring awake from a noise.

What is that?

My eyes are slit trying to focus around in the dark.

The door slowly opening revealing the hallway light entering into the room ever so slightly.

Christian's arms are around me, holding me close against his body.

My back against his front, in a spooning position once again.

Our bodies molded against each other like the perfect pair of a jigsaw puzzle.

His arm laced around my waist and our legs still entwined.

I hear the little nose again and I lean up trying to focus.

Christian's grip on me is a little tight and I find it hard to move.

He's fast asleep and I don't want to wake him.

Not until I know what it is.

I try to gently pry his hand off my waist, which I surprisingly succeed in, letting me raise a little higher to get a better view over the bed.

The door opens a little more revealing a small little figure in the doorway.

"Theodore?"

He sniffles rubbing his little eyes.

"Awww sweetheart, what's wrong?"

I whisper, still trying not to wake Christian.

Or should I wake him?

Theodore is here crying.

Oh gosh and I'm in Christian's bed.

"A-Ana?" He sniffles more and his little feet move as fast as they can towards Christian's bed.

"It's me, sweetheart, it's me…are you okay?" I carefully lift him onto the bed and into my arms comfortingly.

He curls into me, gripping onto the shirt I'm wearing and curls into my embrace.

I run my hand through his hair soothingly as I hold him close.

Stroking his back, holding him close, running my hand through his hair, caressing his little cheek.

Anything to try and soothe him.

He hiccups and sniffles some more as he cries into my neck.

"Bad dweams"

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	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26…

"Bad dweams"

"Awww sweetheart…it's okay…it's okay… I've got you, I've got you…shhh….it's okay"

She holds him close. She hums softly to him. Her hand runs through his hair as she attempts to soothe him.

I'm startled awake from the small whimpers and sniffles coming from Teddy.

Oh fuck…I hope this isn't the start of his own night terrors. After having them myself I wouldn't wish them on anybody.

Please….fucking please, let this be a rare occasion.

He's curled into Ana's chest and she's comforting and calming him.

I can feel my heart skip a beat watching her with my son.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" She asks him and he wipes his little eyes looking up at her.

"Mommy….she…she huwted Daddy gains and she huwted yous and yous went aways Ana…. yous went aways"

I look up towards Ana's face and the moonlight and city lights are highlighting her features to the best they can. I can barely see her face but I notice her piercing blue eyes as they shine.

I can see them slowly welling up with tears as he talks to her.

"Oh, sweetheart…your Mommy can't hurt you or your Daddy anymore…"

"Hows you knows?" He sniffles again and hides back into her neck.

I carefully sit up in the bed and I look to Ana.

Her tear rolls down her cheek as she notices me move and gazes right into my own sleepy eyes.

She gives me a small sad smile as I gently stroke Teddy's back letting him know I'm awake now too.

My heart is exploding with emotion for this woman.

She keeps surprising me.

But right now, my heart hurts for my little man who is here distraught with freight because of that fucking bitch.

"She knows because your Mommy isn't with us anymore buddy….it's me, you and Ana now"

Ana's teary eyes gaze into mine with the smallest of smiles as she continues to cuddle Teddy into her arms.

I can see he won't be moving anytime soon.

"I wisheded Ana was me Mommy" He mumbles against her shoulder but we both hear him.

I hear Ana take a small and quiet sharp intake of breath.

Fuck.

I...I don't….

Fuck.

How am I supposed to deal with that?

I'm so fucking tired.

I feel stirred from waking so suddenly.

Ana has Tears and Teddy had a nightmare.

"I….I…" I run my hand through my hair not knowing what to say, but to my surprise, her hand rests on my shoulder and she gives me a small smile.

I'm panicking like fuck.

"It's okay…" She says reassuringly towards me and then she gently brushes her hand against Teddy's back once again.

How the is this woman so perfect?

Ana lifts the blankets around him and continues to hold him against her, his grip never faltering but his sniffles and sobs seem to slowly calm, turn into hiccups and then into slow breathing as she soothes him.

Watching her with him at this moment, I wish…I just wish…

I wonder if this could be my future now.

I wonder if one day I could make her mine.

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch so Theodore can stay with you?" She looks at me.

I don't want her to feel awkward.

I want her to stay and so does Teddy.

Does she want to stay in bed with us?

"You don't have to go…."

She nods in reply and her lips curl into a small smile and she gently turns to place Teddy between us. I hear one more small sniffle escape his lips as he's curled between us, rubbing his little nose.

That's it then…

The 3 of us, staying here in bed, together.

I reach my arm across Teddy and rests it against Ana's waist. Her hand rests against mine as she gazes over at me and then down to Teddy.

"Ana?" Teddy looks up at her with his tear-stained cheeks.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Wills you stay fowever?"

She giggles at his question but smiles brightly. Her delicate hand moves to stroke his little cheek.

"If you and your Daddy want me to stay, I will stay"

Her gaze moves between Teddy and me.

My body reacting to her every move. I am filled with emotions.

Worry for Teddy but Love for her.

Love?

Fuck.

Did I just say, love?

No…I couldn't.

Shouldn't.

Could I?

I gently stroke her side as I watch her gazing lovingly at my son.

"Daddy…you wants Ana to stay?"

"Yes…Daddy wants Ana to stay"

"Goods! Ana stays!" He turns onto his side and curls back into her chest making her laugh even more.

Her laugh is so precious, so sweet, so contagious I find myself chuckling along with her as I watch my son cuddle with the woman we have both become infatuated with.

Her hand runs through his hair smiling as he sucks on his thumb.

His body finally calming.

We both stay awake for a little while longer watching him as he finally falls back to sleep.

"You're amazing with him"

She simply smiles and gazes over the top of his head to look at me.

I shuffle a little closer with Teddy curled asleep between us and I reach my hand up to her cheek, gently stroking across her cheekbone.

The way her features are highlighted, the way her bright eyes entice me closer.

I lean over Teddy and I kiss her softly which she willingly reciprocates.

"I guess you'll just have to stay over tomorrow night to continue our spooning session" I whisper against her lips teasingly and she laughs softly.

"Only if I can have another one of your shirts"

"Oh…please…take as many as you'd like" I grin and my hand moves lower to rest where my shirt ends on her thigh.

Watching as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

Fuck…

She is…Fuck.

Control yourself, Christian. Control yourself.

Simply gazing down at her before leaning forward and softly kissing her once more before moving back to lay against my pillow.

I gently run my hand through Teddy's hair, kissing the back of his little head as he faces his sleepy body towards Ana.

I'm even more worried about him now, but I'm hoping he'll get better. I'm hoping without Leila around he'll start to relax...and having Ana, our family and me... I'm hoping things will look brighter.

"Thank you for everything you've done for him"

"No need to thank me" She whispers before nuzzling into my pillow and she starts to drift off herself.

Finding myself joining them, in their sleepy states.

But before I do…I watch her.

I think she's asleep now and my heart is doing all kinds of weird things to me.

My head and my heart contradicting each other.

One telling me to keep her close and the other telling me to let her go because she deserves better than me.

But, to my surprise, they do agree on one thing, I am falling hopelessly and entirely in love with this girl and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Please don't ever leave us…." I find my lips whispering as I start to drift off, being surprised when I feel her leg gently brush against mine, letting our feet mingle with each other under the blankets.

Did she hear me?

Fuck.

Fuck it, even if she did I don't care. Right now means everything to me.

The 3 of us sharing a bed.

The 3 of us in each other's embrace.

The way she consoled him.

Comforted him.

Held him.

Soothed him.

I hope she never leaves us. Ever.

For the first time, I don't feel alone. I feel like Teddy and I have someone to care for and care for us in return. For the first time, I feel at peace with my life.

The next morning I'm woken up by a tiny little finger poking against my cheek.

Then my nose.

Then my forehead.

When I scrunch my nose up I hear his adorable little giggle and then feel his body curl into mine.

"Daddy, wakes up" He whispers into my ear.

"5 more minutes" I tease pulling him closer into my chest.

"Daddy…Ana in yous bed" He giggles.

Fuck.

I forgot.

My eyes slowly open and she's laid there right next to us.

She looks just as beautiful this morning as she did last night.

Her hair sprawled out across my pillow.

The blankets covering her body.

My shirt caressing her skin.

She looks so fucking good in my shirts.

"You're in my bed too" I tease him and tickles his tummy making him laugh, causing Ana to stir.

I smile and look from her and back down to Teddy.

"How are you feeling Buddy? Do you want to talk about last night?"

He curls further into me and shakes his head.

"No mores Mommy….just me, Daddy and Ana" He whispers and nuzzles into my neck. I move both my arms around him as I roll to lay on my back and I cuddle him close against my chest.

"She can't hurt you anymore okay? I promise" I kiss his head and he nods in understanding.

"I love you, buddy"

"Wuv you Daddy" He smiles. "Wuvs Ana too" He looks up at me and I simply nod in reply.

I don't think I'm ready to say that yet.

"How about we make Ana breakfast hmm?"

"Yeaaaaaah!" He grins and I look to Ana who is still peacefully asleep in my bed.

My bed.

The bed no woman has ever even touched before, but now….Now I never want this one to leave.

I smile kissing Teddy's head before climbing off the bed and pulling on a plain T-shirt, then lifting Teddy into my arms carrying him into the kitchen.

Hmm… would it maybe be easier to go somewhere instead?

I'm honestly not the best cook and after giving Gail the night off, she's not here to help me.

Fuck.

Hmm…

I wonder if they'll want to go out for breakfast instead?

I know Teddy loves IHOP so he'll be ecstatic.

But she's still asleep and I don't want to disturb her. She must be exhausted after last night…

I can't thank her enough for what she did for him.

Smiling brightly as I watch Teddy play with his little cars on the sofa as I start a coffee pot.

"Do you wanna go to IHOP?" I look to him already knowing his answer.

"Weally?"

"Really Really" I grin chuckling at his excitable reaction.

He is my absolute life.

"Yaayyyyy! I go wakes Ana!" He rushes off the sofa but I quickly swoop him up chuckling as I tickle his tummy.

"Let's leave her sleep for a little while longer, then you can go wake her okay?" I kiss his cheek smiling and he nods giggling, "Do you want some juice while we wait?" He nods wrapping his arms around my neck and I juggle him, the tippy cup and the carton of juice in an attempt to pour the liquid into the cup.

We both sit in the kitchen, both of us with our cups.

I start to think about last night and Teddy with his nightmares, every moment I get I look at him, I kiss him, I hold him... worried that these nightmares will continue just like they did with me. While drinking my coffee my mind starts to reel.

Tonight, I was meant to head out with Ana, Elliot, Kate and whoever else for her birthday but as much as I want to go with her, I think….I think I should stay with Teddy just in case he has another nightmare.

What if he has one and I'm not here?

What if he needs me and I'm too busy out partying.

No, I can't.

As much as I want to go, I have to be here for him.

He's my main priority and he always will be.

I just hope she will understand, she will won't she?

Hoping she's not too disappointed as I think of the worst-case scenarios, I lift my coffee mug to my lips.

I take a sip and I notice out of the corner of my eye Teddy takes a sip of his own too.

I put my cup down.

He puts his cup down.

I smirk and lift my cup.

Then he lifts his cup back up.

I put it down.

He puts his down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

He's copying me making me feel a rush of pride that he's mine. I made him. He's part of me. I chuckle and he does too.

My complete world.

Suddenly, I'm pulled from our little game when I hear her innocent, sweet laugh coming from the living room as she makes her way towards the kitchen from my bedroom.

"Like Daddy like son huh?" She smiles brightly.

She's changed back into her clothes from yesterday and I must admit I am a little disappointed not to see her legs on show this morning.

But she's still here and I'm grateful.

"Ana!" Teddy squeals seeing her and he wriggles off the seat letting his little feet take him as fast as they can towards her.

"Good morning! And how are you this morning handsome?"

"Goods! Yous staywed in Daddy's bed lasts nights wiv me and Daddy!"

Her cheeks flush a bright pink as she bites her lip trying to consume her nervous giggle.

"I did…was that okay?" She looks from him and then to me.

"Yes!" Teddy moves and rests his little head into her shoulder.

I stand from the kitchen island and I make my way over to her, gently kissing her on the lips right in front of Teddy, gaining a small laugh from him.

It's the first time I've kissed her in front of him where he's been able to see.

She kisses me back softly, but I think she's taken a little by surprise at my gesture.

"More than okay" I whisper against her lips.

"Daddy says we going IHop"

"I was going to cook…but I'm afraid I'm pretty useless"

"Ihop sounds wonderful" She tickles Teddy's tummy and it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist anymore.

There's just the 3 of us in our own little bubble.

We arrive at Ihop and we order our breakfasts, Teddy sat next to Ana. No surprise there.

And I'm sat opposite them.

I notice a small flash out of the corner of my eye and I look over to the booth opposite us.

Two women, whispering, giggling. Staring at me.

Great.

I roll my eyes.

That's one for the internet I know.

I hate it when people recognize me now for being the businessman of GEH.

I just hope they leave Ana and Teddy out of the picture and out of the drama.

I don't want her to panic.

I notice Prescott move to the table approaching them about the picture and suddenly both women have turned sheepish.

Good.

Our breakfasts arrive and we all dig in enjoying it, Teddy telling Ana stories being so much more talkative when she's around.

I love seeing him this happy.

I also love being this happy too.

I never thought I'd feel it.

I'm trying to figure out a way to mention tonight to her but I'm not sure how to go about it.

She's going to be so disappointed.

I wonder if she would stay with us instead? I couldn't ask her to do that, it's her birthday celebration but I could at least try?

"Are you okay?" I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear her voice. Teddy is too busy stuffing his face and coloring in the little drawing with the crayons the waitress gave him.

"Yeah...I was…" I sigh and I look at her sadly, "I was thinking about tonight…I'm really worried about Teddy, what happened last night, I want to be there for him in case it happens again you know?"

She smiles sadly and reaches across the table putting her hand on top of mine.

"I completely understand…it's okay…really. I'd love you to be there but Theodore is your main priority and you should be with him"

"You could….you could always stay home with us?" I squeeze her hand hopeful, "Or come back to my apartment after the night finishes?"

"I honestly wish I could but I'm afraid Kate and Jose would find me and drag me out anyway" She laughs softly, "I wouldn't want to wake you or Theodore early morning either, I'm not sure what time I'll end up leaving…I can just head home and see you tomorrow?"

Tomorrow, I sigh.

I want her to stay with me all the time.

"Okay…tomorrow then…but if you need a ride, or you decide you do want to come back to mine, then just text me okay? I'll probably be awake anyway…"

And I know I will be awake, my nightmares will come because she's not there.

There are only four nights of my entire life I remember not having nightmares.

The day my parents brought Mia home.

The day Teddy was born.

And both times Ana has stayed with me.

"I will, I promise" She nods smiling.

I wish she would come back regardless of the time.

Maybe she will, who knows…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27…

I must admit, I was a little disappointed when Christian said he wasn't going to come out tonight but I completely and wholeheartedly understand why he hasn't.

If Theodore was my own I would stay home with him too.

The little guy was petrified when he came running into my arms and grasped my shirt for dear life.

My heart broke for him and I wish I could have done more.

Somehow I managed to soothe him and he finally fell back to sleep.

The breakfast we had this morning was delicious and then we even took Teddy to the park.

Christian held my hand as we walked around. Our fingers laced together and it felt calming, soothing.

I still can't believe I'm his honestly.

But for tonight, I'm here alone.

Kate, Jose and I are all here sitting in Kate's house with a glass of wine for pre-drinks before we head to the club.

The usual club, the one I first met Christian at.

I wish he was coming but I know he has to put Theodore first.

Jose being a man, was ready to leave the moment he arrived at Kate's, but as always Kate and I take a longer as we apply our makeup and get dressed too.

I'm a little nervous to head out I must admit, after last time…Jack.

What if he's there again?

Christian won't be there to protect me this time.

But it's fine…I'll be fine.

I'm already 3 drinks in and I'm feeling a lot more relaxed already.

"Elliot is meeting us out later, is Christian coming?"

"No not tonight… he was going to but Theodore wasn't feeling well"

I didn't exactly want to tell her he had a nightmare because I'm not sure Christian would want me going around telling people.

But the 'not feeling well' story works perfectly.

"Aww that's a shame, I hope the little guy is okay"

"Yeah he will be I'm sure"

"So you and Christian? Is it…uhh…is it serious?" Jose asks as he sips his drink.

Oh gosh, here we go.

"I think so…" I smile reassuringly.

"Think?" He looks at me curiously.

"I like him… and we're just seeing how things go for the moment"

"Like him?" Kate laughs smirking, "You are head over heels for him Ana, the way you look at each other is like something from the movies, it's adorable" She winks at me in the reflection of the mirror as she applies her lipstick making my smile grow and my cheeks blush.

I didn't think I was that obvious.

"Do you think it's a good idea? You know…dating him? He has a kid…a lot of baggage…his is ex is in jail, you know?" Jose pushes and I stand moving to the bottle of wine pouring myself another glass. I need to chill out even more, where the hell have these questions even come from anyway?

"Jose, you and Kate are my best friends…and I understand you're concerned, but I promise you, he's a good guy and his son is incredible. We've gotten closer and there's this connection, it's really strange. But it's nice… I want to see where it goes" I squeeze his shoulder as I make my way back towards the bed sitting down and drinking my glass of wine.

"She has to get screwed sooner or later Jose, leave her to do it with the Hot billionaire….plus if Elliot keeps up his act we could even be sisters-in-law!" She grins making us laugh.

"Kate!" I gasp in horror at the start of her sentence but the sister in law part doesn't sound too bad.

In fact, that would be amazing.

My best friend becoming my sister in law.

The sister I never had.

"As long as you're happy Ana" Jose smiles and finishes his drink quite quickly.

I nod in return, "Thanks Jose, I really am".

"Okay, you two…are we ready to go? It's already 9.30"

"Yeah, sure!" Jose stands checking he has his wallet and phone.

I stand gathering my bag and phone when I see Christian's name on my screen.

_'Enjoy tonight, I'm sorry I couldn't be there. Teddy says hi and keeps asking when you'll stay over again. Stay safe and if you need me, please call me C x ' _

_'Hi Theodore, hopefully soon! Thank you, I will I promise. I wish you were here too…better yet I wish I was home with you and Theodore. I'll see you soon A x' _

He's so chivalrous it makes me swoon.

I miss his arms around me, I miss his hand laced in mine, I miss the small kisses he gives me when I'm with him.

"STEELE! COME ON!" Kate rushes back to the top of the stairs linking my arm to make me move a little faster out towards the taxi. "Mr lover boy can wait until tomorrow" She smirks and ushers me into the taxi making me laugh at her words.

I'm sat in between them both in the taxi and we all sing along to the radio until we pull up outside of the club, heading inside and straight to the bar.

"Shots on me!" Jose says as he pulls out his wallet waving down a free barman, "6 Tequilas…Kate, Ana what drinks?"

"Uhm…double vodka and coke please!" Kate says excitedly.

She completely loves clubbing, me on the other hand. I hate it.

The loud music that rings through my eardrums, having to shout so loud your throat hurts because no one can hear you and mindlessly get drunk for no reason.

I wish I was at home with a takeaway I'm not going to lie.

I do enjoy the dancing though I suppose.

"Ana?" Jose takes my hand pulling me out of my thoughts and a little closer to order my drink.

"Can I get a glass of mango vodka with sprite please?"

The barman nods and heads to make our drinks.

"6 Tequilas Jose? Are you trying to have me on the floor?" we all laugh together.

"Hey, birthday celebrations, you're allowed it….Plus you're my best friends and I have to treat you"

"I can't believe I'm 22 tomorrow" Kate pouts.

"Hey I turned 22 yesterday, don't whine" I tease and within minutes all 6 tequilas are gone and we're sitting in a booth laughing, joking and surprisingly having a good time.

Half an hour later it seems my drinks have hit and I'm feeling a little tipsy. Okay, maybe more than a little.

My head is fuzzy but I'm okay.

Jose goes to the bar ordering more drinks, he did this last year too.

Kate and I didn't buy a single drink because he kept buying them as birthday treats.

He's wonderful and an amazing friend.

Oh gosh, he comes back with more shots.

I'm not sure I'll still be standing if I drink these but I don't want to be ungrateful.

"Just letting you know, I think I saw Jack at the bar" Jose says handing out the drinks.

"Oh great" I roll my eyes.

Can I go home now?

"Okay drink up come on…we're going for a dance" Kate lifts my glass to my lips and nudges Jose out of the booth as we all make our way to the dancefloor.

We laugh, We dance, We talk, We dance, We sing.

I'm surprisingly enjoying myself so far.

And I'm grateful I haven't seen Jack yet. I don't want the drama.

"Elliot!" Kate squeals drunkenly and falls into his big strong arms.

"Fuck Kate, how much have you had to drink?!" he laughs at her but cups her cheek and kisses her deeply.

"Enough to rock your world baby" She grins.

Oh my gosh, Kate. I could never imagine saying anything like to Christian.

I laugh at her reaction and look to Jose as we continue to dance together.

I look at my phone in the hope to see Christian's name but I don't.

It's almost midnight, my feet are killing, I'm kinda drunk and my head is spinning and I just want to head home.

"I gotta…I gotta get..some air…" I stumble drunkenly over my words as I talk to Jose.

"WHAT?!" He says a little too loudly over the music.

He's drunk too.

"I'm going outside!" I point to the exit and he nods.

"I'll come with you!"

I look at Kate who's face is still attached to Elliot's.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm drunk and my emotions have been increased 100 times worse, but seeing Kate and Elliot makes me miss Christian.

And little Theodore.

I pull up his name on my phone a rereads his message over and over and over again.

_if you need me, please call me_

_if you need me, please call me_

_if you need me, please call me_

_if you need me, please call me_

_if you need me, please call me_

_if you need me, please call me_

I don't necessarily need him…nothing bad has happened.

But I want him.

I want his arms around me.

I want his lips on mine.

I even want…I want him.

All of him.

What is this alcohol doing to me?

Do I dare call him?

Jose and I are outside now and it's freezing!

I'm standing here shivering.

My legs don't work as I tell them. They are swaying – left and right. No matter how many steps I take, I'm no closer to where I want to be.

"Ana…here…." I vaguely notice Jose removing his jacket and puts it around my shoulders.

He's such an amazing friend.

"Th-Thank…You…"

My head is beating with the buzz of the music, I can't even hear the music anymore, but the constant fuzziness of the noise inside of my head is turning me crazy.

"Come here.." He goes to move his arms around me to keep me warm, but I shake my head smiling.

"I'm g-good….thanks…Jose…"

He smiles at me.

"It's been a good night…"

"Yeah…I'm glad to have you and Kate"

"I wish I had the courage to do this when I was sober…" He moves closer to me and cups my cheek.

"Wh-What are…what are you?… Jose?" I lean back out of his hand looking curious.

"I like you, Ana…"

"Noo…Jose…I…"

"Just one kiss?" He leans closer but I shake my head once again.

I pull his jacket from my shoulders and throws it at him before letting my drunken feet carry me as quick as they possibly can away from the situation.

"Ana! Ana!" He calls after me but I continue through the crowd to find Kate.

"K-Kate! I'm going!"

"What?! Why?!"

"I'll explain tomorrow… text me okay?"

She nods and I go to turn but I feel a hand against my upper arm, "Do you want a ride? I've only had one drink?" Elliot offers but I shake my head with a small smile.

"I'll be okay, thank you though…look after her okay?". I gesture to Kate who hugs me tightly.

He nods gently letting go of my arm. "Christian will be awake…" He whispers into my ear reassuring me, giving me composure to my doubts as if he knew exactly what I'm thinking.

He will be, won't he?

After the shock of Jose trying to kiss me, I've surprisingly sobered up from the pure shock.

How on earth?

Why?

I don't…

Christian…

Oh Gosh, Christian.

I look at the time and it's almost 1 am.

He told me to call him.

He told me to.

I don't want him to be pissed off with me though and I'm so drunk.

But I want him…I need him.

I want his kiss, not Jose's.

The alcohol definitely makes me more emotional and makes me feel everything deep within my body.

My tears start to fill my eyes as I rush back outside alone.

I pull out my phone but to my surprise, I have 3 missed calls and a text message.

_'Elliot messaged me, why are you leaving early? Are you okay? Where are you? Please call me back'_

He's awake.

Seeing his name makes my lips curl into a small smile and I click on his name.

People around me smoking their cigarettes and vapes.

Making out against the wall.

It starts to ring and on the second he answers.

"Thank fuck! Ana, are you okay?"

"H-Hey," I say as I stumble a little.

"Fuck Ana…how much did you drink?"

"A lot…but I'm okay, I'm heading home" I sniffle.

"Are you crying? Did something happen? Ana?… Fuck…where are you? I'll send someone to come and get you…"

"I-I'm..I'm okay, I'm getting in a taxi…" I say as I finally manage to hail one down in front of me.

"Tell them to bring you here"

"No…Theodore…I don't want to wake…."

"Ana, please…come here" He cuts me off.

I want to go home to him.

I really do.

I tell the driver the address and within 20 minutes I'm outside of his apartment building.

His security escorts me up to his room, typing in the key code letting the elevator rise through the floors.

My head is spinning. I lean against the wall of the elevator and soon the doors open revealing his very quiet apartment.

Okay, Ana, stay quiet, Theodore is sleeping.

Theodore is sleeping.

Shhhh…

I take off my heels slowly creeping inside.

"Ana! Thank fuck" Christian moves out of his bedroom.

He's wearing only his boxer shorts and my eyes widen.

This alcohol is really making my emotions and senses go wild.

I can feel something ignite in the pit of my stomach.

I'm much soberer than I was, but it's still affecting me.

He moves over to me and cups my cheeks gazing intensely into my eyes.

Scanning me, searching for me.

"Are you okay?" He strokes his thumbs across my cheeks and that's all I manage is a nod before I lift on my tippy toes and I press my lips to his.

The alcohol making me a little braver as I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip.

Wanting and needing to feel him.

His returned kiss is just as wanting and needy as mine.

His hands run through my hair, down my arms and to my waist pulling my body flush against him.

My own hands moving up his torso, across his shoulders and around his neck.

My whole body igniting like a fire starter.

Everywhere he touches sparks a rush through my veins.

Our tongues dominating each other. Our kisses are heated and passionate. I can barely breathe but I don't care.

This…This is what I want.

To my dismay he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily.

Panting.

"What happened…." He whispers between breaths.

I keep my eyes closed processing his question.

Jose.

Drunk Jose happened and he almost kissed me.

"Jose…he…"

Christian quickly lifts my chin, making my eyes flash open and gaze up at him.

His eyebrows are furrowed. His eyes burning.

Holding my face between my hands.

"What did he do?"

I look down quickly and away from him, I bite my lip.

"He was drunk… he didn't know what he was doing… he said he wished he had the courage to kiss me sober and then tried to…."

"Tried to? what? Kiss you?"

I can hear the anger in his voice but I can't lie to him.

I reply with a small nod.

"He tried to kiss you?! Knowing that we are…He saw us at his fucking shitty art expo together! He knows we're together!"

He turns away from me running his hand through his hair.

"Hey…Hey…" I walk up behind him, my arms moving around his torso.

He's so fucking angry.

"Did you kiss him?"

"What? No…I would never…I rushed back to find Elliot and Kate to tell them I was leaving and now I'm here…."

His wall is building, his insecurities I already know are bashing around in his head. I have to stop it.

His eyes are clenched shut.

"Christian….I promise…"

I kiss the back of his neck.

"I promise he didn't get close…"

I kiss along his shoulders trying to soothe him.

"I'd never let anyone else kiss me….I wanted you…" I whisper.

Even though it's wearing off and I'm nowhere near as drunk as I was, it's still making me feel more confident. It's making me feel braver.

His body is tense and rigid but as soon as my kisses start I can feel him relax under my touch.

He slowly turns to face me.

"I only want you…" I murmur reassuringly to him, as I gaze up at him. My brain telling me to stop talking but my lips defying it.

His one hand moving to my waist and the other to cup my cheek.

"You're mine…" He whispers as he presses his lips back against my own.

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	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28…

"What ifs I haves another dweam?" He curls into my side.

"If you do, then Daddy will be here okay? Daddy has bad dreams sometimes too…" I kiss the top of his head sighing.

"Weally?"

I nod smiling sadly down at him, "But your cuddles help me" I say trying to encourage him.

His little lips curl into a small smile.

"Let's think of all the things that make you smile and maybe if we think hard enough you'll dream of those things instead" I stroke his back and he nods resting his little head onto my chest.

I feel ridiculous giving advice on nightmares when I can't even control my own.

"Otays"

After talking about his favorite foods.

His favorite book about a little puppy playing hide and seek.

Toy story movie and the toys coming to life.

His grandma and Grandpa.

His auntie Mia and uncle Elliot.

Then he mentions Ana and me.

My heart bursts at his words and I hold him close.

"I love you, Buddy"

"Wuv you Daddy".

His tears were filling his eyes once the story had ended petrified to fall asleep in fear of another nightmare.

I stay with him. I even climb into his tiny little bed holding him as he drifts off to sleep.

I wasn't sure whether to have him in my bed or his.

The closer bedtime came the quieter he became.

He also kept asking for Ana.

Teddy finally managed to fall asleep, but he was so scared. Fighting his hardest to try and stay awake but finally, sleep took over.

I just hope it's a peaceful night for him.

_'Ana just left in a rush, she wouldn't let me drive her home'_

_'Why? What happened? Where is she now?' _

_'I don't know she said she was leaving, she seemed a little off. Kate asked her what happened but she wouldn't say. She'd had a bit to drink, We went after her but we couldn't find her. Just wanted to let you know bro' _

_'Thanks, Ell! Let me know if you see her again' _

I was frantic. She was drunk and won't answer my calls.

When she finally arrived at the apartment she looked fucking beautiful. A little glassy-eyed from the alcohol but still as beautiful as ever.

I could tell something was wrong though and then the bombshell hit.

"He was drunk… he didn't know what he was doing… he said he wished he had the courage to kiss me sober and then tried to…."

"Tried to? What? Kiss you?"

She nods and my fucking anger burns deep within my being.

"He tried to kiss you?! Knowing that we are…He saw us at his fucking shitty art expo together! He knows we're together!"

"Hey…Hey…"

"Did you kiss him?"

"What? No…I would never…I rushed into Elliot and Kate to tell them I was leaving and now I'm here…."

My blood curdling anger rippling through my veins. I'll fucking kill him.

How dare he!

How could he!

I knew he fucking wanted her. I fucking knew it!

At his shitty art expo, his eyes were all over her!

Clearly too fucking shy to say anything to her, but with alcohol? He thinks he can do whatever the fuck he likes.

This is why I don't date.

This is why I shouldn't date.

But, she's mine.

My breathing becoming rapid.

My anger boiling until I feel her kisses.

Her lips against my boundary lines.

I want to rip away but I can't.

It doesn't burn, it doesn't hurt and I can feel my walls rippling back to the ground.

But fuck, I am still so fucking angry.

"Christian….I promise…" Ana with alcohol in her is a braver woman. I don't think she would do this sober. But I'm not complaining. She presses a kiss to the back of my neck.

"I promise he didn't get close…"

Then along my shoulders and I can feel my body relaxing. My anger being replaced by my want and need for her. Her kisses sending impulses straight to my dick.

No Christian, control yourself…Not while she's been in drinking. It has to be special for her first time.

"I'd never let anyone else kiss me….I wanted you…"

She wanted me.

She wanted my kiss.

But I wasn't there.

But she's here now.

She is so much more outspoken when she has confidence inside of her.

_I wanted you…_

_I wanted you…_

_I wanted you…_

_I wanted you…_

Her words play through my ears like a beautiful serenade.

"I only want you…" I turn to face her and her eyes are bright, piercing, enticing.

And I'm done.

"You're mine…" I press my lips against hers dominantly. My tongue doesn't even request entrance this time as she's already willingly taking and fighting her tongue against my own.

Her hand runs through my hair and I push her back against the wall.

The pleasure rising within me, thank fuck I'm only in my shorts so it's not obvious I'm so fucking hard.

Her hands roam my skin and I want more, I want to feel her everywhere.

I move my kisses across to her jaw and I hear her take a sharp intake of breath.

Moving down to her neck, I nip at her skin, sucking softly making a small mark against her.

She's mine, see, mine.

I pull back and I gaze down at her, she's panting hard and her breathing is rapid matching my own.

Her head is rested back against the wall and her eyes are closed.

I lift my hand, gently stroking her cheek making her eyes flutter open and gaze up at me.

Despite my anger for that fucking asshole, her words have changed my emotions.

Her words and brought my focus back to us.

Me and her.

"Did you mean what you said?"

"I meant everything…every word" She whispers and rests her forehead against my shoulders.

My arms moving around her waist holding her close against my chest.

"Come to bed?" I kiss the top of her head gently and she nods smiling sleepily.

I escort her to my room and she sits at the edge of my bed trying to reach her hands up behind her back in an attempt to grasp her zipper.

Whining in annoyance when she continues to fail, making me chuckle as I watch her wriggle and writhe at the edge of my bed.

I grab one of my shirts and I make my way back to the back smirking down at her.

Her glassy tipsy eyes gaze up at me.

"Come here" I laugh more but gestures for her to turn around so I can help her with her failed attempts.

She smiles gratefully and turns her back towards me. Moving her hair to the side as my fingers slowly pull down the zipper.

My fingertips grazing lightly at her skin.

Grinning when I see the effect I have on her as I notice the goosebumps start to appear on her smooth skin.

My body is reacting to every new piece of skin I reveal.

I've never seen this much of her, not yet anyway.

I've seen her legs underneath my shirt but now, I'm seeing her body.

The black bra she has on underneath her dress is driving me fucking insane. I wish I could just push the dress down to her feet and see her stood before me in only her bra and panties. But I'm afraid once I see her that way in front of me, I won't be able to control myself. I already want her so fucking badly. Seeing her porcelain smooth skin will drive me wild. I can't. Not yet. Not until she's ready. And when she's sober.

I reach the bottom of the zipper and I lean forward, kissing against the curve of her neck as I whisper into her ear.

"Done…I'll let you get dressed" I stand from the bed and I make my way into the bathroom to give her some privacy and try to calm my pulsing dick.

Fuck.

After a few minutes of finally calming myself, I make my way back into the room and my shirt is cascading down her body.

I love seeing her in my shirts.

Her eyes are closed as she's laid on the bed.

I can't tell if she's asleep or not but my question is answered when I sit at the edge of the bed and her eyes slowly open, looking up at me.

She gives me a small smile.

I move to lay beside her, both of us laying on our sides gazing into each other's eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask as my hand reaches up to stroke her cheek.

She nods simply, "My head is spinning…"

I chuckle and I continue to gaze into her beautiful bright eyes.

"How was Theodore going to bed?"

"It was hard, but I managed it…He drifted off and then Elliot texts me to say you were doing a runner from the club" I smirk and I gently stroke her curl behind her ear.

"I'm never going out again…"

I chuckle hearing her words.

"Not without me atleast…I'd have killed him if I was there" I admit, "I still want to".

"I'm kind of angry with him too honestly…I don't know why he did it"

"Did you enjoy your night regardless of what happened?"

I'm angry, of course, I am. I wish I could take my right fist into his jaw. But I can't. I have to remember that despite his efforts she came here. She came running to me and I can't take my anger out on her. I may go into my gym in the morning though and beat the shit into my punch bag pretending to see his face plastered on the front of the bag. I'm more than surprised at myself for not lashing out, not pushing her away, not throwing her out.

I've changed a lot and I'm hoping that's a good thing.

He just needs to keep the fuck away from her now.

"Honestly?" She shakes her head slightly, "I love Kate, she's my best friend…and Jose was I guess…but I really would have preferred being here with you"

"You're here now"

The anger from earlier completely faded away now I have her here in my bed.

I gaze over her features and I see the small red mark I left on her neck. It's very faint, barely visible. But I know it's there and I know it's mine.

"I missed you tonight" She smiles admitting as she shuffles a little closer resting her forehead against mine.

"I missed you too, I'm glad you came back"

"So am I" She whispers smiling.

I roll onto my back, shuffling and getting comfortable before reaching my arm out towards her

Summoning her into my body.

She moves closer, her arm snaking around my waist and her head resting into the crook of my neck.

My hand gently stroking up and down her back.

"So how much did you have to drink?" I smirk.

"Urchh..a lot…Jose kept buying the drinks for our birthdays"

"Oh, I'm sure he did…" I roll my eyes. Bet it was intentional all along, get her drunk and kiss her.

She presses a kiss to my collarbone bringing me from my thoughts of bashing his head in.

"I didn't think…you know…we've been best friends since we were little, he's never done anything like that before or mentioned anything"

"I knew he liked you, I could tell by the way he looked at you at his art thing"

My hand gently stroking along her lower back again.

She looks up at me with her bright eyes, "I don't care who likes me…I have you. You know that don't you?" She whispers and it does things to me.

It's like she could hear the insecurities spiraling through my mind.

She is mine, but for how long?

"I don't think I'll ever believe you're mine" I admit, "I'm too fucked up to think anything good could happen to me".

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise…I don't want anyone else, I want you"

I gently stroke her chin, gazing at her lips as she talks, before I lean down and kisses her softly.

She is everything I want and need. But that doesn't stop me from doubting it.

"My Mom has one of her charity events coming up, She's asked me to bring you you along" I smile.

"I'd love to..when is it?" She smiles against my lips.

"A week from Friday"

"Perfect…"

Holding her close against my chest once again.

She's here, in my bed where she belongs.

I'm dreading Monday because I know she won't stay over during the week.

But I will look forward to the weekends with her.

I gaze up at the ceiling letting my thoughts run wild.

She sighs sleepily and nuzzles into my neck, her legs tangling with mine, her fingertips gently stroking against my side.

The next thing I know, I'm waking to a completely empty bed.

Was it a dream?

I swear she was here.

It couldn't have been a dream.

I climb off the bed pulling on a shirt.

"Ana?" I look curiously for any sign of her as I make my way towards the door.

Did she leave?

My thoughts are dashed when her dress is still sitting on my bedroom floor and then I hear a squeal come from the living room.

Teddy.

My smile grows as I open the door and Ana has Teddy sitting on my countertop, making him squeal when she dabs a little bit of flour onto his nose, making him laugh and wriggle.

I love the way she is with him and I love how happy he is when he's with her.

Ana is whisking eggs and Teddy is sat there watching and helping her.

"What do we have here?" I smile making my way over.

She's still in my shirt.

Her legs on show in my kitchen.

I'm not sure how much longer I can resist her perfect body.

"We makings you bweakfast!" Teddy grins covered in flour making me chuckle.

I lift him and holds him against my chest kissing his little cheek.

"Breakfast? Well, that sounds amazing!"

He nods smiling brightly and points to Ana, "Ana and me's makings it cos I no had bad dweams!"

"You didn't? That's amazing buddy! I'm so proud of you"

"I had good dweams!"

"Good dreams? Did what we spoke about help you?"

He nods, "I dweams Daddy and Ana gots mawwied like in da movie Up! Like Mr. Fwedwickson and Ellie! And she lived wiv us fowever!"

A spoon goes crashing to the floor when Ana hears Teddy's words.

I'm guessing he hasn't told her about his dream yet either.

"Well, that does sound like a wonderful dream"

I look over to Ana whose cheeks have turned a bright red making me smirk slightly.

I smile walking towards her still holding Teddy in my arms but as soon as I get close enough he reaches over to her.

Laughing softly she willingly takes him into her arms as she puts the bread into the toaster.

"I just want to say sorry..and thank you for last night" She smiles up at me.

I stand behind her, my hands moving to her hips bones that are touchable through the thin fabric of my shirt.

I can even feel her panty line through the fabric.

Standing close behind her, her body almost pressed against mine as I watch her cook.

Teddy looks up at me laughing, giving him a small wink before he rests his little head onto Ana's shoulder.

I could get used to this.

Fuck her ex.

Fuck that other teacher I caught her talking to.

Fuck her best friend.

This is where she belongs, with Teddy and me.

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Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews you have all given this story so far!

You've all given me the motivation to keep on writing so thank you to every single one of you!

I hope you will continue to read and enjoy every chapter I continue to upload.

Thank you all for sticking around! Next update coming soon!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29…

_'I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me' _

_'Are you okay?' _

_'Where are you?' _

_'Ana? Please I'm sorry' _

_'Can we talk about this?' _

_'Please just let me know you're home safe' _

_'I'm so sorry'_

10 missed calls from Jose.

_'Ana where are you? What happened?' _

_'I'm outside with Elliot we want to take you home, where are you?' _

_'Ana?!' _

_'Never mind Christian text Elliot. I'm glad you're going to him, Ana' _

_'Let me know when you're with him and safe okay? Love ya' _

5 Missed calls from kate.

2 from an unknown number that I'm guessing was Elliot.

When I woke that morning in Christian's bed my phone had died and I switched it back on. I was so surprised to see that I had notification after notification.

Kate knows I'm home safe, but Jose…

I had no idea what to do about him.

I still haven't replied to him.

Honestly? I had no idea what I was even supposed to say to him.

I mean what could I say? 'You knew I had a boyfriend and you tried to kiss me!'

Christian is still wanting to rip his head off.

Even when I turned my phone back on he started to call again and in a panic, I quickly turned it back off and left it in Christian's room.

I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do with him.

When I walked out of his bedroom to grab a glass of water, Little Theodore's door was opening the same time and his little feet came bounding towards me at 1000 miles per hour.

I love how excited he gets when he sees me staying overnight.

I just hope he's okay with me sleeping in his Daddy's bed.

He seems to love having me around though and honestly? I love being around both of them in return.

I couldn't imagine going a day without seeing or at least speaking to them.

Since that night and that morning, Christian and I have texted every day, before, during and after work.

Theodore and I have seen each other in school and he's getting so much more confident in the classroom now it makes my heart swell with pride.

We've gone to the park, gone for coffee. We've both been so busy this week we've tried to manage everything as best as we can. I went over to his a few times for dinner too and surprisingly the days have flown by and the Grey event is fast approaching.

So today, I'm heading shopping after school with Kate and an added extra, Mia.

Christian's sister is joining us and honestly? I'm a little nervous.

She's lovely, I've spoken to her briefly now and again when I've been with Christian and I borrowed her pajamas that one time I stayed over his parent's house, but we've never really hung out or got to know each other before.

So yes, I'm nervous.

What if she doesn't like me?

I know she and Christian are really close and she looks up to him with great inspiration.

We're all shopping for Mrs. Grey's or Grace's charity ball.

I don't really know much about it but I'm looking forward to learning more and spending time with Christian and his welcoming family.

I suppose in a way it's good Mia is joining us because I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear to these events.

Christian said dressy but what does dressy even mean?

Formal dressy?

Casual dressy?

Over the top dressy?

Expensive dressy?

Luckily, I got my paycheck otherwise I'm not even sure I'd be able to afford it. If It's expensive dressy I'm looking at hundreds.

For today, school is over with and Teddy smiles up at me as we wait for someone to pick him up, I don't think it'll be Christian as I know he has some big meetings at work today.

"Antie Mia tells me you going shopping"

"That's right…We're going shopping together for a dress for your Grandma's event"

He nods smiling, "Mia wikes you".

"She does huh? How do you know?" I smirk curiously as I help him with his little jacket.

"She towlds Gwandma yous make Daddy smiles so you makes hers smiles"

My heart melts at his words.

I make his Daddy smile.

But his Daddy makes me smile too.

And so does Theodore.

"Teddy my baby!" Mrs. Grey calls him from the door.

"Gwandma!" Theodore smiles and rushes over to her reaching up to be in her arms.

"How's my handsome little grandbaby?" She kisses all over his face making him wriggle and laugh.

It's adorable.

"Ana darling…how are you?"

"I'm good thank you, Mrs. Grey, how are you?"

"Please call me Grace, you're part of the family now," She says smiling brightly and outs her hand to the top of my arm.

She's wonderful.

I nod accepting her words. "I hear you girls are having a shopping day ready for the event?"

"Yeah, I have to find a dress…I'm glad Mia is coming I have no idea what to wear"

"Whatever you wear you'll look beautiful and regardless of anything, Christian will be happy to have you on his arm"

I bite my lip blushing as my lips curl into a bigger smile at her words.

"Thank you, Grace"

"No thank you… My boys have a sparkle in their eyes again. They love you, Ana… and I hope one day…maybe, there'll be more" She gives me the smallest of winks before jetting off to her car.

Little Theodore waving at me over her shoulder which I reciprocate smiling brightly.

Mrs. Morgan smiles at me before we both start to clean up the classroom. She's been wonderful with me and I couldn't have asked to be put in a better classroom with a better teacher because honestly? She's perfect.

So kind, caring and understanding.

Once the classroom is cleaned and ready for the next working day, We head to the office to clock out and I make my way to my car before driving to The Grey's house.

I'm so nervous, I haven't been here without Christian before.

I feel awkward.

_'I'm just on a break, sorry it's been such a long day. Enjoy your shopping trip with Mia…And good luck ;)' _

_'Goodluck? What's that supposed to mean?!' _

_'Mia LOVES shopping, she dragged me around the mall for 7 hours one day and decided on one dress. She's a nightmare when she's shopping' _

_'You men have no idea ;)' _

_'With shopping? Hell no :P I can't wait to see you. I have to go back to my meeting, but I'll text you later. Let me know if you find an outfit…Have fun. Tell Mia I said Hi…C x' _

I smile at his text making me giggle to myself until another one pops up right after.

_'P.s, relax, my family already love you. Don't worry' _

He knows me way too well. It's like he can sense my thoughts word for word.

I do feel a little more confident now since texting him. He's my confident drug.

I make my way up to the door and I ring the bell.

"Ana!" The door opens and Mia is smiling brightly at me.

"Hey Mia"

"Come in! I'm almost ready to go, I just have to get my purse"

I nod smiling brightly and I head inside waiting in the doorway for her to grab her purse.

"Gwandma! Ana's hewe!" I hear Theodore little voice and then his little patter of feet come bounding down the stairs towards me.

I lift him into my arms giggling at his efforts.

He's adorable.

"Hey handsome, have you been having fun with your grandma?"

Grace laughs softly watching Theodore and me.

He nods enthusiastically.

"Gwandma and mes going to makes cakes!"

"Cake? Oh my goodness you're a lucky boy! Will you save one for me?"

"Yeaaaaah!" He smiles brightly wrapping his arms around my neck making me laugh even more. "Is you staying wiv Daddy in Daddy's bed again Ana?"

Oh.

Uhm.

I can feel the heat rise immediately into my cheeks.

I let out a nervous giggle biting my lip,

I look to Grace who is standing there with a smirk and an eyebrow raised.

"No…I…we…we haven't.…"

Oh gosh.

She laughs waving her hand dismissing his comment, pretending as if she didn't hear anything.

I'd like to just curl up in a ball and disappear right now.

Then she walks towards us and gently lifts Theodore from my arms, "Come on you little monkey…Let's go make those cakes huh?"

He nods excitedly and she smiles kindly at me, gently squeezing my arm before she heads to the kitchen.

I can't…

Oh my gosh.

I pull out my phone pulling up Christian's name.

_'So your handsome darling son has just told your Mother I've slept in your bed… I have never felt so embarrassed'_

Within seconds a text peers through with his name.

A bunch of laughing faces. Followed by:

_'She still adores you, don't worry. Even if you are corrupting her son ;)' _

I laugh at his reply, rolling my eyes

Mia comes back with her purse just as Kate is pulling up the driveway.

"Kate! Mia smiles brightly, giving her the same arrival she gave me.

"Mia! Ana! We ready to go?"

"Yes!"

"Yeah!"

We all smile before climbing into Mia's car after she offered to drive.

"I'm so glad dumb and dumber found some girlfriends I can finally take shopping with me. Elliot and Christian whine the entire time when I take them"

Kate and I both laugh.

"Hey who knows, maybe we could all be sisters-in-laws in the future"

"Imagine that"

I smile, weirdly I have thought about it.

But I'm not sure Christian is in that position.

Maybe one day. Who knows.

I surprisingly enjoy my day shopping with them, we laugh, we smile, we shop, we try on the dresses.

Mia helps me pick out this amazing silver satin, body clinging, long dress and it is stunning.

Extremely expensive but after she encourages me that Christian wouldn't be able to take his eyes off me, I'm sold and I find myself standing at the counter and handing over my card.

Kate decides on a beautiful purple colored dress and Mia goes for a mixture of blue-green and purple. The color style is beautiful and looks stunning on her.

She is so pretty, her body is perfect. I'm surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend, but from what I've heard she's too bust studying fashion at College and traveling back and forth between here and Paris.

Paris, my gosh I'm jealous.

We head to TGI Friday's for food. By the time we've all finally found our dresses and accessories it's already 7 pm.

It's been a wonderful day though.

As we eat, Mia is explaining how these events usually schedule out. I'm pretty excited.

I look curious and everyones attention turns to Kate as her phone goes off and she looks to me.

"It's Jose"

She turns her phone to face me.

_'Have you seen or spoken to Ana?' _

I bite my lip and looks up at her, I haven't told her what happened yet and I'm not sure if he has either.

"It's complicated"

"Is Jose the reason why you went home early?"

"Yes…and no"

"What happened?" Mia asks curiously. Both sets of eyes waiting for my answer.

"i don't want to make a deal out of it"

"It's just us, please tell us?"

I sigh, should I?

"Jose…he…he tried to kiss me"

"What?! Jose?! No way!"

"Shhhh keep it down" I bite my lip awkwardly. "I panicked and then I just wanted to be with Christian and so I left. I called him and luckily he was still awake and so I went back to his place"

"Elliot and I came looking for you, you must have already left for his place"

I nod, I probably did. I left pretty quickly to be fair.

"Awwww" Mia looks at me sympathetically, "Does Christian know that this guy made a move on you?"

I nod as I add another fry to my lips.

"And he didn't kill him? Wow, Ana…you really have changed him. I knew he liked you but wow…."

I can feel my cheeks flushing already. I don't prod her comment as already know about his past rage and anger issues. I don't want to bring it up so i continue and change the subject back to Jose.

"I haven't replied to Jose, I had no idea what to say…and Christian was angry with him I didn't want the drama you know?"

"I understand that" Kate smiles sadly and nods as she adds another fry to her lips. "Anyway… you and Christian are adorable together and his son"

"Teddy loves Ana, he doesn't stop talking about her" Mia laughs.

Really?

That makes my heart swell hearing that.

The event is on Friday and my Dad is coming home Sunday morning, so I'm hoping I can stay over Christian's Friday night.

If he'll allow me of course.

The shopping trip was a success and I am more than happy Mia and I got along pretty well.

Her fashion sense is incredible. I was so glad to have her there.

_'Just picked Teddy up and heading home now. I hope your day went well. Mia has already texted me saying you look amazing in the dress you've bought for the event. I can't wait to see it' _

I smile brightly seeing his name on my screen as we make our way back to the Grey house to pick up my car.

_'The dress is alright I suppose, I hope you like it ;) It was good. Mia is wonderful we got along pretty well' _

_'I told you, you had nothing to worry about ;)' _

_'Yeah Yeah okay Mr know it all :P I'm just picking up my car, I'll call you when I get home' _

I say my goodbyes to Kate before she climbs into her car driving off. I then move to hug Mia goodbye too. She's such an amazing person, I think we're going to get on well.

She smiles brightly as she hugs me back, "I'm so glad my brother met you".

My own smile grows at her words and I nod in agreement.

"I am too... Thankyou so much for today"

"we'll have to do it more often"

She hugs me once more before I climb into my car and I drive home.

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	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30…

It's Friday and I'm on my way to pick Teddy up from school.

Tonight is my Mom and Dad's charity event and I'm surprisingly excited.

I managed to convince Ana to send me a picture of her dress as I wanted to try and match my tie with the colour.

She wanted to keep it a surprise but in the end, she sent me a small picture of it. It didn't really reveal much but it looks stunning and I can only imagine how beautiful it'll look on her.

I pull up outside of the school and Teddy is holding Ana's hand as they make their way outside to greet me, she's smiling as she always does.

Teddy has an excitable grin as he lets go of her hand and comes hopping towards me with his little backpack swaying.

I swoop him into my arms smiling and rests him on my hip.

"There's Daddy's boy" I grin as he wraps his arms around my neck and curls against me.

He is my entire world.

"Daddy's boy!" He copies me making Ana and I chuckle.

"How's he been today?"

"Well, we enjoyed some reading today didn't we Theodore? And some painting…" She holds up his newly dry painting revealing two adult figures and a small figure in between them.

I look at it curiously.

It's a pretty good painting to be fair, for a four-year-old it's very clear.

The man is wearing a tie, there is a little boy and a female.

A female figure with long brown hair.

I look up to Ana who has a loving smile on her face.

"Ana's coming to da ball Daddy!"

I chuckle nodding hearing his words, "Yes she is, is that what you painted?"

He nods enthusiastically.

"Daddy" He points to the male figure. "Ana" He points to the female figure. "And me!" He giggles smiling brightly looking between Ana and me.

I notice Mrs. Morgan, Teddy's teaching peeking through the door watching us, she has a small smile on her face as she watches Ana. I bet she's protective of her teaching assistant.

When she notices me looking at her she quickly starts to move back around the classroom acting as if she's cleaning. She was definitely listening though. Definitely.

"So…what time shall I meet you tonight?" She smiles.

"I can come and pick you up or you can come and get ready at mine?"

"I don't mind…"

"Are you staying over?" I ask hopefully.

"I'd like to, if that's okay?"

If that's okay?

I grin like a schoolboy and nods, "Perfect".

"Yayyyyy!" Teddy squeals excitedly making us both laugh.

"Come by whenever you're ready" I smile at her which she returns. Her cheeks flushing their usual pink when I make her blush.

I love the effect I have on her.

"Okay, I'll text you when I'm on my way…I'll just shower and get my things then come by".

"You could always shower at mine" I grin teasingly and her pink cheeks turn a bright red.

"Maybe I will…" She returns and it sends a pulse straight to my groin.

I wasn't expecting that answer.

She strokes Teddy's little cheek making him smile brightly. I know she won't kiss me at work but instead, I gently squeeze her hand before we say our goodbyes and I drive away.

She heads back inside and I can only imagine the lecture Mrs. Morgan is currently giving her.

Teddy and I drive back to our apartment, I bath him and get him ready before getting ready myself too.

"You hungry buddy?"

I lift him into my arms, we won't be eating for a while yet and by the time we do I know he'll be dropping off to sleep.

He nods resting his head onto my shoulder.

I look through the fridge and that's when Gail comes out from cleaning.

"Mr. Grey, let me do that for you… you both look too good to be cooking" She smiles kindly, "Leave it to me I'll make a little something".

Within 20 minutes, Teddy is chewing on chicken nuggets and carrot sticks and I have a chicken salad. Both were wonderful stomach liners while we wait for Ana.

Half an hour later, Ana is on her way and Teddy is very excited.

He's so happy when he knows she's around and so am I.

She's a breath of fresh air to both of us.

The elevator doors open and she's escorted inside by Sawyer.

"Ana!" Teddy runs over to her and she laughs kneeling to lift him into her spare arm. The other covered in her bags.

"Well don't you look handsome!"

Teddy giggles, "Ana getting weady too?"

"Yeah, I have to put my dress on and a little bit of makeup"

I make my way over to her smiling and dips my head down brushing my lips against hers.

"I'm glad you're here"

"Me too" She smiles brightly before handing Teddy over to me.

"Is it okay if I go and get dressed?"

"Yeah, of course, use my room…you know where it is" I wink smirking.

She takes her things into my bedroom and within 15 minutes, her dress is on, her makeup is flawless and her hair is up in a beautiful plaited bun at the back of her head with small strands flowing down and surrounding her beautiful face.

"Is it okay?"

"Fuck…." I mutter, thank fuck Teddy is playing with his cars.

I walk towards her and my eyes widen at her appearance.

She is fucking stunning.

"Ana…you…Wow" I grin walking closer to her and I gently cup her cheek. "You look amazing".

Making her blush once again and I can feel the familiar need go straight to my dick.

This woman is everything.

Her and Teddy, are my everything.

She smiles brightly and her hands gently rest on my shoulders as mine move to her waist. I lean down kissing her softly, gently.

I feel her smile against my lips and it makes my heart pound.

"Daddy! Ana!" Teddy comes running over and hugging both our legs making us laugh. Ana reaches down and carefully lifts him into her arms.

"Ana you wooks pwetty" He smiles at her, and she gives him the brightest grin ever.

"And you look very handsome" She taps his little nose smiling making him giggle.

"We ready to go?" My hand still rested on her waist as she nods and we make our way to the elevator.

I have a little bag packed for Teddy, his iPad, a few books, crayons, and paper to keep him occupied during the boring parts but I'm sure he's going to be on his best behavior, he always is.

We make our way down to the car and Taylor drives us to my parent's house.

The usual set up with the marque in the gardens, beautifully set up tables, champagne on ice in the center of each table.

The small stage heightened in front of the dance floor.

Teddy his holding both of our hands as he walks in between us.

I watch as Ana's eyes grow brightly at the sight of everything.

"This is amazing!" She says excitedly

"There'll be plenty more I can promise that….they have these fundraisers every few months"

"That's wonderful" She smiles brightly and I look down at Teddy who is smiling up at Ana with such love and inspiration.

He completely adores this woman and so do I.

"There's a dance floor?!" Her eyes brighten even more as I nod kissing the top of her head.

"Picture Mr. Grey?"

The photographer asks and I look to Ana for an agreement from her too.

She nods smiling as we move in front of the elegant red background.

I lift Teddy and Ana moves a little closer. Little Teddy resting his hand on my shoulder as he looks to the camera.

"Okay….1…2…3…." The photographer tells us in preparation.

He takes a few.

Actually, he takes more than a few and quite honestly? I'm excited to see them.

"Teddy baby" My Mom calls him and he wriggles out of my arms to go running to her.

She smirks and winks at me but I end up looking at her curiously.

"Have one just the two of you?" She says answering my curiosity.

Oh…

I look down at Ana and she gazes up at me. I see the flash and I just know the photographer now has a picture of us gazing at each other.

My hand moves around her waist and she laughs softly before we both look at the camera smiling, letting him take another.

"Ana darling you look stunning, that dress is perfect for you"

"Thank you, Grace…and you, yours is absolutely beautiful"

She hugs Ana as she still holds Teddy in her arms.

"You're sitting with us…we have a Grey table all set up" She smiles brightly and escorts us through the small crowds to a table right at the front and center of the room.

"Ana darling, you're next to Elliot, then Christian, Teddy, Mia, Carrick, Myself and Kate" She points around the table.

She so informative, but I know she's trying to give Ana a good impression even though she doesn't need to.

Ana smiles brightly at her listening to every word she says and it makes me laugh slightly

I never imagined introducing a woman to my family let alone bringing one to a family event. But it feels right. It feels good.

"Cans I sit next to Ana Daddy?"

"You're sitting next to me and Auntie Mia buddy"

"Awwww" He nods but Ana smiles and strokes his little cheek.

"If you eat all your dinner you can come and sit on my lap, how does that sound?"

She is completely and utterly wonderful with him.

"Yaayyyyy" He grins making us all laugh at his reaction.

"Okay buddy, let's get you into your seat, it's starting soon okay?"

He nods smiling and I pull out his crayons and paper and he starts to draw.

"Ana!"

"Kate"

"Bro"

"Elliot"

We all exchange greetings as everyone starts to congregate at the table.

"There's my handsome nephew!" Mia says as she makes her way over kissing the top of teddy's head making him giggle.

"Antie Mia! Unc Ewiot!"

"Hey, squirt!" Elliot ruffles his hair making him giggle.

I'm sat there, admiring the love shared between everyone. Something I never fully noticed or appreciated until recently.

But I find myself gazing next to me.

Gazing at the woman sat at my side who looks completely and utterly out of this world.

She is so beautiful, so enticing, her smile lights up the room and lights up my heart.

I gently move my hand under the table and I rest it against her thigh.

I can feel her breathing increase and her eyes turn to look at me.

She gently bites her lip trying to suppress her smile but she fails as her lips curl upward.

She shifts a little beneath my touch but I find her leaning a little closer to me which I willingly accept.

Both of us now sitting here with our shoulders touching as we watch Teddy color and draw happily.

My Dad makes his way up onto the stage.

"Hello and good evening. Thank you to everyone that has joined us tonight in celebration of Foster care. Foster homes and adoption. As most of you know, this charity has had a big impact on mine and Grace's lives. It's brought us our very own family. Elliot, Christian, and Mia… we are forever grateful that our children chose us to be their families"

I feel Ana gently squeeze my hand on her thigh and when I turn to look at her smiling at me lovingly.

My father's words having some sort of effect on her.

I lean forward and I kiss her gently which she willingly accepts before resting her chin onto my shoulder as we look back towards the stage listening to My Dad.

"We have a wonderful 3-course meal set up for you all too which is now being brought to your tables, Please enjoy".

The food is delicious, Ana and I chose the fries with steak smothered in garlic butter and Teddy with his little hamburger and fries.

Ana giggles watching him eat and as soon as he's finished he immediately shuffles off his chair and rushes around me and to Ana.

"Ana I finiwshed!"

She smiles brightly, true to her word, she lifts him into her lap even though she hasn't finished her own meal yet.

I am completely in awe of the way she is with him.

He rests back against her chest smiling as she finishes her meal before her arms move around him and she holds him close, gently stroking his little back.

I think he's getting sleepy.

Once the food is demolished and the plates have been removed, my Dad takes the stage once more and the auction begins.

Thousands of dollars in aid of this charity.

My Mom's heart swells and her smile is bright when the final amount is shown on the screen.

"Now, to say thank you for your generosity there's an open bar, please help yourselves and we will continue with the disco, thank you," My Dad says smiling making his way down to my Mom, taking her hand and escorting her to the dance floor as they start dancing.

Teddy yawns and curls further into Ana making her smile and rock him back and forth.

No longer able to put my hand on her thigh, I carefully move my arm around the back of her chair and gently strokes her bare skin at her shoulder.

"Dance with me?" She whispers smiling softly.

"Me? Ohh…no…I don't…."

"I'll take Teddy" Mia winks at Ana betraying me. I don't dance.

I can't dance.

I have never danced at one of these before.

Fuck.

I watch as Mia gently lifts a sleeping Teddy into her arms and Ana grins at me.

Fuck.

I can do this.

I can do this for her.

I stand and I offer her my hand escorting her to the dancefloor as the slow music plays.

My Mom smiling brightly when she sees us approaching, Elliot and Kate following close behind and then a whole bunch of random rich people join too.

My hands move to her waist and her hands move to my shoulders. Our eyes burning into each others' as the magnet pulls us closer together.

Our bodies almost touching as we start to sway back and forth to the music.

Surprisingly, I am enjoying myself.

Gazing into her eyes now, I know this is everything I want. She is everything I want and I will never, push her away again.

We continue to sway continuing to gaze at each other.

"Thank you for bringing me tonight, I've really enjoyed it"

"I'm lucky to have you accompany me"

She blushes, the same as always.

"I'm excited to see those photo's they took…Especially the ones with little Theodore"

I chuckle smiling and nods In agreement, "I'll have to have one printed and put on my desk at work".

I lean down and I kiss her softly, her hand gently running through my hair as she kisses me back softly.

We continue to sway, her head rested against my shoulder as I hold her tight against my body. Her scent filling my airways making my heart swell.

I can't thank this woman enough for everything she has done for me.

"Ana! Daddy!"

Teddy is stood beside us, his eyes drooping sleepily, he always wants cuddles when he's falling asleep.

His little arms reach up towards us and Ana smiles taking the liberty to lift him into her arms.

His head immediately rests onto her shoulder as he yawns.

"Awww is someone tired?" Ana smiles at him but he shakes his head.

"No…" He yawns again making Ana and me both laugh.

I don't want to leave.

I've had such a wonderful night here but I know we'll have to take Teddy home soon.

I'm just glad Ana is staying the night so it's not quite over yet.

The three of us sway together and seeing Ana with my son makes my body react in a way it never has before.

Yes, I've fucked.

Yes, I've had sex.

But I've never made love.

I've never wanted a woman's body so close to me that I can feel her heartbeat.

So close that our breaths match in unison. Bodies moving against each other.

That's what Ana is doing to me. She makes me want to take things slow and cherish every moment. Every memory.

I smile brightly and I kiss Teddy's head and then her cheek.

"I'm going to have to head off soon to put him to bed" I smile sadly as I gently stroke her side, "You can stay if you're not ready to leave yet...I'm sure my Mom and Mia will look after you".

Please come home. Please come home. Please come home.

I sigh with relief and my lips curl further upwards when she shakes her.

"I'll come with you" She leans up and gently kisses the side of my jaw. My body reacting to her once again.

What is she doing to me?

"Okay," I smile more and places a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I just have to go to the bathroom before we go, is that okay?"

"Of course, here let me take him…" I gently lift a sleepy Teddy into my arms and Ana makes her way to the bathroom.

I move to Mom and Dad carefully interrupting their dance.

"We're going to head off, Teddy is out of it"

"Awww sweet little thing…why don't you all stay here tonight?" She kisses Theodore's little head and gently hugs me.

My Dad doing the same.

"It's okay, it'll be nice for Ana and me to have some time together you know? We don't get a lot of time"

"I understand that my darling boy" She hugs me once again and whispers into my ear, "I'm so happy you found her…never let her go"

"I won't" I smile brightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow? Come over for lunch, all three of you"

"We will Mom, thankyou" I kiss her head, the first time I ever have done so and I think she's a little taken by surprise.

I make my way off the dance floor, Teddy's little head resting on my shoulder as I carry him inside in search of Ana, ready to go.

But when I reach the hallway my heart drops.

Sinks.

Drowns.

Sets on fire.

I'm feeling.

I'm feeling all kinds of emotions.

Awkwardness.

Worry.

Scared.

Nervous.

Panic.

Alarmed.

Agitated.

Concerned.

Jittery.

All negative emotions when I see the one woman I thought….

I thought I wouldn't have to see any time soon. The woman I asked to not attend these events anymore.

And to make it even worse? She's in conversation with Ana.

Fuck.

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	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31…

"You must be Ana… Christian's date? Grace has told me a lot about you"

A woman approaches me as I make my leave from the bathrooms to head back to Christian and Theodore.

She is a stunning woman, clearly very very rich and well dressed.

Her makeup is flawless, her hair is a beautiful blonde and her figure for an older woman is something any young girl wishes to have when they get to that age.

But her smile…

Her smile seems a little off.

Forced even.

I smile kindly at her as I nod, "Yes I'm Ana…I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"No darling, but I know you…" She smiles almost poisoning.

She offers me her hand which I hesitantly take.

"Elena, Elena Lincoln….Grace's friend… and close friend to the family"

_Friend to the family._

_Friend to the family._

_Friend to the family._

_Friend to the family._

The words spiraling through my mind as I look at her. I really look at her.

Christian's words also haunting my mind. That's what he called to her too, A friend of the family.

It's her.

I have a feeling.

I know it is.

Mrs. Robinson.

"Christian told me a lot about you," I say coldly pulling my hand away.

"I'm sure he has" She gives a slithering smirk and it goes right to the pit of my stomach, churning angrily.

"If you'll excuse me, Christian and I are heading home now…"

I don't want to play into her game.

I don't want to feed her ego.

She's looking for a reaction and I refuse to give it to her.

I turn, continuing to walk when I see Christian standing at the end of the corridor like a deer in the headlights.

He's come so far, I don't want her to ruin it.

I don't want her to ruin us.

I keep my gaze with him as I make my way towards him, his eye contact staying with me but I can sense the tension in his muscles, in his stance, in his stare.

That's it, Christian, stay focused on me.

Stay on me.

Stay with me.

I reach him and I smile as I lift my hand to cup his cheek.

There's a time and a place for me to say something to her and tonight is not that night.

I won't give her the fight she's looking for.

Christian is mine now, not hers.

Not anymore.

She's not ruining tonight, it's been too perfect.

Too amazing.

Too wonderful

Too carefree.

We'll save this for another time.

My eyes stare up into his and I can feel him lean into my touch.

Little Theodore still sound asleep on his shoulder.

Christian's breathing is rapid, shallow, deep. I can almost feel his heart pounding at the side of his neck as I keep my hand cupping his skin.

"Are you ready to go?" I say in the hope I'll get a response.

He nods, but then his gaze moves behind me and he's looking at her.

Oh no…Christian, please.

I close my eyes in defeat when I hear her voice once again.

"Christian…."

How to ruin a good evening, great.

She looks me up at down, right in front of him. Then her gaze moves back to him.

"She's very pretty, I'll give you that…A little small though, innocent"

Small?

Innocent?

Now my own anger is building.

"What the fuck are you doing here Elena?! I thought I told you to back off"

That confirms it.

Officially.

It is her.

It is Mrs. Robinson.

Elena is her real name, Now I know it, I'll never forget it.

His nostrils are flared, his posture is completely rigid and he moves out of my caress.

Don't push me away, please Christian. I take his hand pleading with him.

_I told you to back off. _

_I told you to back off. _

_I told you to back off. _

_I told you to back off. _

His words spiraling through my brain. Has he spoken to her? When? Why?

"Your mother is very persistent, I tried telling her no but she wouldn't have it" She smirks looking up at him as she stops right in front of us.

When he feels my hand he squeezes it.

He's still with me, it's okay.

He's going to be okay.

Be brave Ana, be Brave.

"He doesn't want you here" I look at her and to my surprise, Christian's angry eyes move from her and down to me.

I don't want to look up at him in fear of him being irate.

"Are you sure about that?" She looks at me with her piercing venomous eyes.

She's pretty, she really is. I do feel intimidated by her and if Christian takes her side after this I'm not sure how I'll cope. But I don't think he will. He wouldn't.

I'm his now, not her.

"Pretty positive…" I give her small fake smile and I feel his fingers lace with mine.

And when I feel that, I feel an even bigger surge of confidence. "Now, If you'll excuse us, we're taking his son home…and we're going to bed"

I look up to Christian who's eyes have softened as he looks at me.

I go to turn and he follows suit until he stops, he stops us in our tracks and he turns slightly to look back at her.

"I told you not to come here ever again. If I have to tell my parents about us to ensure you keep your distance…then I will…"

"You wouldn't dare"

"Fucking try me, Elena"

He gives her the most seething glare I've ever seen possible and we continue to take our leave.

He lifts my hand to his lips pressing a kiss against it as we make our way out to the car.

"Thank you," He says as we reach the door gazing down at me.

He's not tense or rigid, angry or irate.

He's the Christian I know and love.

My smile grows and I lean up kissing him softly, lovingly, somewhat passionately as our tongues slightly tease each other.

I'm not allowing her to ruin this night.

I won't bring her up again tonight, I want this night to be a special and happy memory, not tainted by Mrs. Robinson.

I pull back smiling and his forehead rests against mine.

"Come on, Let's get this little one to bed" I gently stroke Theodore's little cheek as I see him stir on Christian's shoulder.

Opening the door for him, he climbs in holding Theodore against his chest and soothingly draws patterns on his back as he sleeps.

Taylor drives us back to the apartment and I rest my head onto Christian's shoulder.

"She…I…She is…" He's trying to talk about her. I wasn't going to bring her up, but if he wants to talk then I willingly oblige and listen to him. When he first told me about her he never mentioned a name so I bet the wheels in his head are turning 1000 miles per hour trying to figure out how to explain things.

But honestly?

I was hoping I would never have to meet her, I was hoping she would never pop back up.

But here she is… and she was told outright she wasn't welcome and that was more than enough reassurance for me.

"It was her wasn't it?" I lift my head to look at him and he looks away from me as if he's ashamed.

His eyes looking down at Theodore.

"Now, Now I think about what happened…and I think about Teddy… it was so wrong Ana…so wrong"

"Hey…Hey…" I lift slightly and I move my hand to gently stroke across his cheek. "It was wrong, but you've overcome it, you've dealt with it and now look at you…you have Theodore, you have your business, you have a family who loves you…"

"And you…I have you"

My eyes start to brim with tears at his words and I nod.

I nod and I nod reassuring him.

"Let's not let her ruin tonight, it's been too wonderful…she's in the past now"

He simply nods in agreement.

"Did you mean what you said? When you said you'd tell your parents?"

"Honestly? If that's what it takes…I would. I never had the confidence to before now. But you…you and Theodore, nothing else matters and I want her away, away from all of us".

He leans forward and he captures my lips. His hand lifting and cupping my cheek as he deepens the kiss.

I want him.

After tonight, he is everything I want and I know, I just know we were meant to be.

We make our way into the apartment and he smiles kissing the top of my head.

"I'll go and put him to bed, make yourself at home okay?"

"Can I borrow one of your shirts?"

I giggle as I watch his lips curl into a smirk.

"You don't need to ask, they're in my wardrobe" He pecks my lips once more before he takes his leave for Theodore's room.

I nod smiling gratefully and I make my way into his bedroom, I pull off my dress and I gaze through his wardrobe picking out a black one.

It matches my underwear choice too.

I pull it around my shoulders and before I get the chance to button up the front, the bedroom door is opening.

My heart races a little. I've never been half-naked before him.

He's never seen me in my underwear.

Yes, his shirt is covering me slightly, but my front is bare from the lack of buttons done up.

When I turn around, his eyes are wide.

His eyes are scanning me and I can feel the heat rising in my body.

He walks towards me and his lips curl into a small smile.

"Nice shirt choice"

I giggle softly as my hands move to his shoulders.

I'm feeling a little nervous.

I want to do this, I want to do this with him.

I want him to be my first but I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I won't be enough.

I've never done it before and I'm petrified I'll be terrible.

With my hands rested on his shoulder, he must sense the worry in my eyes as his hand gently cups my cheek and he smiles kissing my forehead.

"I had a nice time tonight" He whispers.

"Me too"

I smile more and his arms move around me in an embrace, holding me against his chest.

But I can feel the pressure building.

I can feel the pull, trapping us in a state of new emotions.

I lift my head to gaze up at him, my head in a fuzzy glow of emotions.

His stare making me a little more confident.

My hands slowly stroke down the front of his shirt as I pull back to look up at him through my nervous lashes.

My fingers moving to the first button on his shirt and I slowly push it through the hole releasing it.

Then I move to the next.

Then the next.

My eyes still gazing up at him and I can sense his breathing has already changed.

As has my own.

I can feel my heart pounding so quickly I fear it could come bursting through my chest.

His eyes are blaring into mine with passion and lust, I can see it.

My own eyes mirroring the same look.

After tonight, I want this.

I want him.

I'm nervous as hell, I'm worried. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just trying to do what feels right.

Things I've read in novels.

Trying to be mysterious and daring like the heroines in the pages of my books, falling deeply and incredibly in love with the man who makes my heart do things I never knew it could.

I continue my assaults on his buttons and slowly I push the shirt from his shoulders, leaving him shirtless in front of me.

The tension between us is overwhelming. A volcano of erupting lustful emotions.

"Ana…."

I meet his gaze and I give him a reassuring smile, "I want to….".

Shivers running through my body as I watch his hands move to my waist and in that split second before his touch every nerve in my body and brain is electrified.

His fingertips gracefully graze up my sides underneath his black shirt, around the side of my breasts over my bra strap making me gasp slightly.

When he reaches my shoulders, he slowly starts to push the shirt off my skin but he pauses.

He pauses for a moment and looks at me.

Really, Really looks at me.

His gaze imploring deep into my soul. Searching my eyes as if asking for permission before he goes any further.

This man has my heart at his beck and call and I am completely and utterly in love with him.

Tonight, there's no going back.

"A-Are you sure?"

I nod In reply gazing up at him, my body filled with a million emotions.

Passion.

Nervousness.

Excitement.

Thrill.

Wonder.

Worry.

All of them swirling around inside my veins heightening my adrenaline.

"Yes…" I reply reassuring him.

Then, his hands slowly push the shirt off my shoulders and it lands against the ground at my feet.

His eyes, I've never seen them so wide as he rakes over my body.

I hear the sharp intake of breath as his eyes trail higher and higher, then landing deep into the pit of my glistening eyes.

The acceleration of my heart-rate has nothing to do with fear anymore and everything to do with what my body really wants.

"Fuck Ana" He cups my cheeks and his lips crash onto mine.

Our tongues fighting for dominance.

Needing.

Wanting.

Hot, Fiery, Passionate and demanding as our lips move in unison, wanting to be as close to each other as possible.

My arms move around his neck as we devour each other's lips.

My whole body ignited with passion.

What has this man done to me?

I gasp against his lips when I feel his hands move lower and he lifts me up.

He lifts me into his arms and my legs instinctively wrap around him as he walks us over to his bed.

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	32. Chapter 32

****WARNING: This chapter contains sexual activity, sexual references, and sexual content. It can be skipped if you don't wish to read, Thank you ****

Chapter 32…

I couldn't believe what I was seeing when her fingers started to undo the buttons of my shirt.

The way she looked up at me through her thick fluttering lashes.

I could see the glistening in her eyes that what she was doing would go further.

The further that we both wanted and needed.

The further that would become both of our firsts.

I wanted to wait to until she was ready, I wanted to wait until she was certain that this is what she wanted.

That I was what she wanted.

Once it's done, she can't have it back.

But fuck how I've wished she would allow me to have her, all of her.

"A-Are you sure?" I ask her just to be certain. I'll understand if she backs away. This is a big decision to make.

"Yes…" She replies and fuck I can't believe my luck.

She wants me.

She hasn't been drinking tonight.

She's in her right mind.

Everything she did for me tonight was overwhelming.

When I saw her with Elena I thought that was it. It was over.

She'd take one look at Elena, another look at me and she would be out the door.

But instead, here she is.

In my bedroom.

In my shirt.

I can see her underwear from where she decided to leave the buttons on the shirt undone.

Everything, the adrenaline, the heat, the electricity pulsing through my body straight to my dick which is straining against my suit pants.

I need to release it soon.

I want her, she wants me.

I torture myself by trailing my fingertips gracefully up her sides, across her bra strap and up to her shoulders, ridding my shirt for a better view and fuck.

I notice her hairs stand up on end and the goosebumps forming from my touch. The effect I have on her astounds and overwhelms me.

She is amazing.

She is Beautiful.

She is mine.

My heart rate increases to the point I fear I may pass out at the sight of her.

Her body is so fucking beautiful.

My heart pounding so fast I fear it may come pounding through my ribs.

What is she doing to me?

"Fuck Ana" I crash my lips onto hers needing and wanting to feel her against me.

Needing to feel her plump lips, needing to feel her tongue fight against my own.

I want her, I want to make love to this woman.

For the first time in my entire life, I don't want to fuck, I want to love…

I want to make it slow, memorable, loving, caring, passionate.

Everything I have never done before.

I want to feel all the emotions.

I want to feel her hands on me.

I want to feel her body against mine.

Her hands running through my hair and then around the back of my neck and I take the opportunity to slip my hands down her perfect creamy skin lifting her by her ass and carrying her to my bed.

My kisses moving along her jaw, down her neck and I latch my teeth onto her skin sucking tenderly, making her moan softly against my ear.

I climb up onto my bed and I lay her down beneath me.

I hover over her for a moment and her eyes flutter open.

Already filled with pleasure and want from my kisses she gazes up at me through her thick fluttering lashes. The piercing blue of her eyes enticing me further and deeper into her wonderful soul.

"Are you sure? Please, if you want to stop…"

Her hand rises and she cups my cheek.

I want to make sure.

I'm just making sure.

I fear that once I start my assaults on her body I won't be able to stop, I want and need her so much.

She is everything I want now, her and Teddy.

"I'm sure" She whispers as her thumb strokes over my cheekbone and her upper body rises to kiss me softly.

She is sure.

Then I will give her what she wants.

What we both want.

I kiss her passionately, my hands caressing every bit of her naked body that they can.

I slip her bra straps down her shoulders and as my hands wander beneath her back she lifts her body allowing me to unclasp it.

I slowly remove it from her body and fuck.

Fuck me.

Her cheeks flush the brightest red I have ever seen them and her gaze moves down.

I can see she's nervous, I can see she's embarrassed. Of course, she is, this is her first time naked in front of a man, first time being this intimate with a man. But she doesn't have to be. Not in front of me. Her innocence makes me want her even more.

Going where no other man has been or ever will go if I have my way.

She's fucking beautiful.

And she's mine now.

"You're so fucking beautiful" I gaze down into the deep abyss of her eyes.

My kisses start to trail down her body, my tongue flicking over her right nipple as I gaze up watching for her reaction. My tongue swirling around her before taking her between my lips and sucking softly against her nipple.

Her body writhes beneath me and I can hear the small whimpering of moans escaping her lips.

This is such a new heightening experience for her, I hope she likes it.

Then I move to the left, mirroring my attempts on her right.

I move my kisses back into the center of her body, kissing down her abdomen, lower and lower until I reach the waistband of her panties, my kisses trailing along the band and her breathing has increased tremendously.

Gazing up at her with one last look of permission and her eyes gaze down at me as her breathing has become shallow.

She simply nods and with that, I hook my fingers into either side of the fabric and I slowly pull them down her legs.

Fuck.

Once they're off, I look up into her eyes and she's gazing away from me.

I move to hover over her naked body and I kiss her.

I kiss her softly, gently and I feel her smile against my lips before I pull back ready to continue my assaults at her body but to my surprise, her hands carefully trail down my abdomen and to the waistband of my suit pants.

"C-Can I…" She looks up at me and I nod and nod again.

Fuck, Yes.

"Don't ask, do whatever you want to…whatever you feel comfortable with and whatever you feel is right" I reassure her and I gain a sense of pride as I watch her lips curl into a grateful smile.

Her fingertips making slow work at the zipper, then the button and she slowly pushes them down until she can't reach and I move back on the bed to fully rid them. Now only in my boxers, she bites her lip gazing over to where my Dick is pulsing hard as fuck in my boxer shorts.

Her breathing has become even more rapid now and my body is reacting to her every move.

I'm grateful for her removing my pants, I needed the relief, but now my boxers are just as bad. I want to be inside her, but I need to take this slow. I need to make sure she's ready, I can't rush her.

Her hands move to the waistband of my boxers too and she pushes them down doing the same as my pants.

Her eyes widening when my length is revealed. Hard and upright right in front of her.

"Are you okay?" I cup her cheek and her eyelashes raise to gaze up at me receiving a nod to my question.

I wonder if she's ever seen one before.

"I just, I don't want to be bad at this for you…"

"You could never be bad…I promise everything you're doing Is perfect" I kiss her reassuringly and whispers again, "Anything you do will make me react to you".

And with that I watch her cheeks flush even more.

Our kiss becoming more heated now, I hover over her and our naked bodies brushing and touching, my dick rubbing against her thigh and instinctively her body starts to writhe more, her hands wandering and her legs raise either side of my body.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I am so fucking turned on.

I trail my hand down her stomach and I gaze into her eyes as they move lower, lower, wanting to see her reaction when I first touch her.

Dipping my two fingers between her thighs as I rub across her core. Only slightly barely even touching her for now.

Teasing a little.

Her lips form an 'O' and her eyes close shut, her one hand moving to grip my shoulder and the other moving to her hair.

She's so fucking beautiful.

My fingers swirling in a circle against her bud, over and over. Parting my fingers to make a 'V' and slides them down the inside of her folds and back up again to make the circling assault once more.

I watch as her chest rises and falls rapidly, her lips letting out the small pants of pleasure as her body is being heated.

She's so fucking wet.

I dip down pressing a quick kiss to her lips before I dip my head between her thighs and I run my tongue through her folds causing her body to arch against my lips and I hear a pleasurable gasp escape her sweet mouth.

I want to keep hearing that noise.

Fuck.

As my tongue flicks and teases and plays, I can feel my own heat rising further and further and I can't take it anymore.

I start to stroke myself as I watch the way her body reacts to my kisses, my tongue, my fingers, my breath.

My own body reacting to her moans, her pants, her body.

I stroke myself for the release and it feels so fucking good but I can't finish, I won't I just need to be touched. I want my release to be inside of her tight walls.

Her body starts to shake against my tongue and I know she's close.

So fucking close.

"Wh-what's….Ahhh…Christian!" She gasps and then moans loudly and it makes me smirk. Until then, she moans out my name reaching her climax.

Panting breathlessly as her hand delves deep into my hair as I continue my finger movements letting her ride out her climax.

She's so wet and ready now, I want to be inside of her.

If she thinks that felt good, wait until I fill her.

I kiss my way back up her breathless, panting body before capturing her lips smilingly into the kiss.

Her hands cupping my cheeks as she kisses me back, before pulling back to get some air.

Her body is flush in color, like her blush but it's covering the entirety of her, not just her face.

I smile down at her, "You okay?" I whisper smirking and she simply nods.

"I never thought…I didn't think…I didn't know it would feel… you know?"

"That good?" I smirk proudly as she nods embarrassed.

I love her innocence in this.

She giggles softly and leans up kissing me again, her legs raise either side of my waist once again as I kiss back passionately, fiery, demanding.

I grind against her core slightly making her whimper against my lips, at the friction.

She pulls back, gazing up at me, wanting, needing, lusting.

"I.I...Want you now" She bites her lip and that's enough reassurance for me.

I nod and I gently stroke her cheek as her head gently lays back against the pillow.

Her breathing becoming shallow, I'm not sure of whether it's from the comedown of my tongue and fingers or her nervousness for me to enter her.

Or maybe both.

But here it goes, making love.

I'm nervous myself honestly.

I'm not used to slow and steady, I'm not used to how this is supposed to go.

I haven't been with a woman since Teddy was born, it's been a long time.

I just hope I'm enough for her.

I'll try to be gentle, I'll try to be slow.

I want to cherish and worship her body.

"It might hurt, or feel weird…If you want me to stop okay?"

She simply nods keeping eye contact with me.

I reach over for the condom I've saved for this moment, I rip it between my teeth and I carefully roll it on.

As I line myself up with her entrance, her eyes are enticing me, hypnotizing me and I slowly push my tip into her.

Her eyes closed and she makes a little noise.

It's not one of pleasure yet and I worry I'm hurting her when I edge a little more in.

"Are you okay?" I ask with worry. I've never had to deal with this before, I'm panicking.

"It…It just…It just feels weird, a weird…ahh…pressure…" She whispers out. I gently stroke her cheek as I edge in a little more, a little more, a little more and then I still.

I still inside of her to let her get used to the pressure. To let her get used to me being inside of her.

Her breathing is rapid, her eyes are closed and I nuzzle into her neck.

The feeling of being inside of her is euphoric.

I never want to leave, I want us to stay like this forever. Her warm walls clenching and adjusting around me.

I kiss along her neck, her jaw, I still don't move until she's ready. I continue to kiss her trying to calm her.

After a few moments to my surprise, she turns her head and captures my lips. Her body moving against mine slightly and I take that as a cue to start moving.

Slowly, I ease out of her, then back in.

Out then in.

Out then in.

Slow and steady.

Her eyes open and she gazes up at me, her hands roaming my shoulders, my chest, running through my hair. Everywhere I want to feel her she's already sending electric impulses through my skin.

Our bodies move in unison, matching my breathing with hers.

This is the most intimate I have ever been with a woman and it's something I want to do with her for the rest of my life.

Only her, Only Ana.

Our bodies glistening, ontop our skin as the sweat of our activity starts to produce.

She looks beautiful.

Watching her eyes open and close, watching her lips make the 'O' shape as she moans, watching the way her tongue runs along her lips when she's finally comfortable with me being inside of her.

I can feel her walls clenching around me, pumping me harder and I can feel our climax growing and growing.

Our kiss becoming deeper, needing, wanting. Our tongues fighting in dominance and I gently bite her bottom lip causing her to moan, her body to arch and react to me with such a heightened pleasure I can feel she is so close to the edge.

"Don't hold back baby, let it go…"

She whimpers as I know the pressure is growing within her.

Our movements become sloppy, our breathing becomes rapid and hard.

And once she Moans my name, climaxing underneath me, her body writhing and panting in pleasure as she reaches her peak.

As soon as her walls clench hard around me from her pleasure, I spill myself into the condom with one more thrust inside of her.

We did it, we both made love for the first time.

To me, it was everything I wanted, everything I needed.

I don't want to remove myself from her, being inside of her is a connection I have never felt before and I don't want to lose it.

After my sloppy last thrust, I roll beside her panting hard.

I carefully move out of her, rolling off the condom and tying the end of it and tossing it into the trash at the side of my bed.

Both of us panting harder than ever and I lay on my back, snaking my arms around her and carefully moving her to rests against my chest. She nuzzles into my neck, her breathing still rapid and I gently stroke her back as we both start to calm down.

"Are you okay?"

She manages a nod and a small smile before she places a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

After a few moments, our breathing slows and we simply hold each other, we're silent just enjoying the afterglow of our lovemaking. Her body still glistening in the moonlight that's shining in through my bedroom window.

I gaze down at her, she is absolutely fucking stunning and I have no idea how I've ended up so lucky to have her.

Have her defend me, have her defend my son, have her love us both despite everything she knows.

Have her make love to me, being my first and myself giving it to her in return.

"It was perfect" She whispers against my ear finally getting her breathing back to normal.

I love this woman, I'm finally admitting it to myself.

I love her, and I want to keep making love to her for the rest of my days.

My smile grows at her words and I carefully lift her chin to me, pressing my lips to hers as I kiss her softly.

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	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33…

I wake from the deepest sleep I have ever had in my entire life. I feel as if my entire body has ignited with freshness from our passions of last night.

I stir slightly, my eyes slowly fluttering open.

I can feel the rise and exhale of Christian's heartbeat underneath my cheek as I'm curled into his body.

His one arm around my shoulders and his other around my waist holding me close against him as he lays peacefully on his back.

I smile gazing over his naked body.

Our naked bodies.

I still can't believe last night happened.

I felt so empowered, so brave.

His words, his kisses, his touches constantly reassuring me, making me feel safe, loved, wanted.

He was completely and utterly perfect.

He was so kind and gentle, so loving.

I love him, my whole and entire heart is his. He could ruin me within a second if he wanted to, but I know he wouldn't. Not now, not after last night.

We consummated each other.

Being the first time either of us have ever made love.

This morning I'm feeling a little sore, a little achy but it's a good feeling.

I never imagined my first time would be so perfect, I didn't know it would feel that amazing.

At first, the pressure was tough, but as soon as I got used to the feeling, it came pleasurably.

I stay still and quiet for a little while, curled into his embrace, simply enjoying being in his arms and gazing over his naked body.

The body that hovered over me in such passion only a few hours ago.

I gaze down his muscles, down his abdomen, lower, lower.

I bite my lip simply staring.

This man is mine and I am his.

Suddenly, I feel small light and feather-light kisses running along my shoulder, up my neck, along my jaw and my lips curl into a smirk when I feel his lips against my skin.

I remain still enjoying the contact.

His kisses trail along my jaw before he dips down finding my lips and he kisses me softly, feeling his lips smile against my own.

"Good morning" He whispers.

"Morning" I return with a bright smile.

"Enjoying the view?"

I blush profusely. He caught me.

I giggle smirking and I gaze up into his enticing Grey eyes.

"I was until I was interrupted by someone's kisses" I tease right back making him grin.

He loves the teasing, he loves the game.

He kisses me softly before holding me closer.

"How are you…uhh…how are you feeling?"

"Perfect" I smile placing a kiss to his shoulder.

"What about after…you know, is your body?"

He sounds so worried, it's kind of adorable. He cares and it makes my heart skip a beat.

I lean up on my elbow and I gaze down at him as he rests his head back against his pillow.

He lifts his hand to my cheek and his thumb gently strokes along my cheekbone, then my lips.

His eyes searching mine ensuring that last night was what I wanted, that he didn't hurt me, that I'm okay.

It's like I can already read his thoughts.

I lean down and I place a soft, gentle kiss against his lips.

"I'm okay…a little sore, but it's not that bad…I really enjoyed last night"

"You did?" His attitude of the worrying boyfriend changed and the grinning, proud man is back in business.

I giggle softly and I rest back into the crook of his neck.

His hand soothing stroking through my hair as he kisses the top of my head.

"I really enjoyed it too…it was, it was perfect"

His words stir inside of me.

Perfect. He called it Perfect.

I agree.

I nod agreeing with his statement and we simply hold each other for a little while longer.

"Shall I run you a bath?"

"Is that okay?" I look up at him and he chuckles softly, his hand stroking my cheek again.

"Ana, this place is your second home now…you don't have to ask me" He kisses my forehead and I smile brightly.

My second home.

Wow.

I never thought, I never imagined.

My heart swells incredibly.

"I'll go and start it for you" He smiles kissing my forehead once again before he climbs off the bed, pulling his boxer shorts on that I willingly removed from him the night and I watch as he heads into his en suite bathroom.

He's so kind and caring. How did I ever become so lucky?

I climb off the bed too, pulling on my panties and his shirt from last and I smile brightly as I gaze towards his bed.

His bed.

The bed we made love in.

I'm the only woman that has ever been in there.

I can't believe it.

I love him, I love this man so much. And his adorable little son.

I sit at the edge of his bed simply gazing around.

I never ever imagined this is how I'd spend the start of my 22nd Birthday year.

I used to be so lost, so low, so insecure, but now? Now he has changed that for me.

Thanks to the job Candice gave me, thanks to Theodore's little friendship, thanks to Christian's love and generosity, Thanks to Grace for encouraging it.

Christian opens the door of the en suite just as I'm deep in thought and he gazes at me.

"You okay?"

I gaze up at him and my smile grows as I stand.

"I'm wonderful" I smile moving my arms around his neck and his arms encircle my waist.

"I do love seeing you in my shirts" He grins making me laugh.

"Take the bath with me?"

What on earth has gotten into me? This man makes me feel so brave, so confident, so different.

Different Ana, I like the new me he's made me be.

I feel different. It's a wonderful different.

"I'd love to" he smiles and pecks my lips. "Go and get yourself into the water while I check on Teddy and I'll come right back"

"Okay" I nod smiling brightly and I move into the bathroom.

I remove his shirt and my panties and I sink down into the boiling hot water.

It feels absolutely divine against my aching muscles and soreness.

I can already feel the pain washing away, it's wonderful.

He even added bubbles, I swear this man is perfect.

Within a few minutes, Christian is opening the en suite door and he smiles brightly just standing in the doorway watching me with a grin.

"Enjoying the view?" I tease him with the exact same comment he made against me this morning when he first woke.

"Oh yeah…I think I may just stand here and watch you all morning" He grins.

I laugh and flicks a little water towards the door at him making him chuckle.

Making his way towards the tub, he removes his boxers, my teeth making quick assaults against my bottom lip.

My new favorite view is his naked body.

"Enjoying the view again Miss Steele?" He raises his eyebrows giving me a small wink, "Shuffle forward" He requests.

I smile and I slide a little forward, leaning into my knees and I feel my heart race when he climbs in behind me.

His legs moving either side of my body until I feel his hands gently caress my waist and he slides me back against his chest.

"How was Theodore?" I make conversation.

"Still completely out of it" he chuckles, "He stayed up two hours past his usual bedtime last night so I figured he'd sleep in this morning" He smiles kissing the back of my head.

Between the water and his embrace, this bath is the best I have ever experienced.

I never imagined sharing a bath with anyone but with him? It just feels….It feels so normal, so perfect.

His fingertips gently stroke over the skin on my stomach and I smile brightly as I lean back against his chest closing my eyes embracing his ever so tender touch.

"So…last night…how was it for you?"

He asks and I can tell he's a little nervous.

"Perfect" My lips curl into a smile and I turn my head to look up at him.

Seeing his smile grow at my response makes my heart melt.

"How was it for you?"

"Perfect" He mimics my answer which I willingly accept before I lean up kissing him softly.

Our lips brushing against each other softly, feather-light.

I smile against his lips until suddenly we hear the little patter of feet rushing around Christian's bedroom and his adorable little voice calling out for his Daddy.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

We both laugh hearing him.

"Daddy! Wheres, yous?"

"He's so adorable" I smile up at Christian and he nods in agreement.

"In here buddy, Daddy will be out in just a second"

"Otays" He replies and I can only imagine him sitting on Christian's bed waiting for him.

"Take all the time you need" He gently kisses my lips before he climbs out of the bath and pulls a towel around his torso moving out to Theodore and closing the door behind him, leaving me to soothe my body.

"Daddy!" He squeals excitedly and I giggle when I hear them.

"There's Daddy's boy!"

With a smile on my face, I rest back against his glorious, amazing bathtub.

I close my eyes letting my body and muscles relax in the water.

After another 10 minutes, the water starts to cool and I climb out. I peek around the bathroom door making sure no one is there before I head out into the bedroom in my towel and I search through the bag I brought with me for my outfit.

A pair of simple jeans and a plain black t-shirt.

I feel revived, I feel like I'm glowing, I feel different.

After last night, I feel so unlike me, but it's a good feeling.

I put my hair up into a ponytail before making my way out into the living room, my eyes scanning for them and then finding them in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Ana!" Theodore smiles brightly and comes bounding over to me excitedly making me giggle as I lift him up into my arms.

"Good morning handsome, did you sleep well?"

He nods smiling brightly, his little arms wrapping around my neck.

"Breakfast is almost ready" Mrs. Jones, the female I met during my first few days working at the kindergarten.

Kindergarten. I have to speak to Candice about what's going on. Mrs. Morgan has already wished me all the best and is happy for me, but now, now I have to speak with Candice to make sure it's okay to do. Although, I'm afraid it's a little too late if it's not.

Maybe it was meant to be though, I have been thinking about pursuing my writing and publishing dreams.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Anyway, I guess I'll find out on Monday.

"Yaayyyyy!" Theodore wriggles excitedly for his food making Christian and I laugh as I make my way over to the island beside Christian.

"Morning Ana," Mrs. Jones says as I take my seat propping Theodore onto my lap.

"Morning Mrs. Jones" I smile gratefully.

"Please, Gail" She smiles more and I nod.

I'm overwhelmed by the welcoming from everyone.

His Mom and Dad, Mia and now his employees too.

"Dids you sweep in Daddy's bed gain Ana?" Theodore looks up at me holding his little sippy cup of juice.

My cheeks flushing and I look to Christian who is smirking like a high schoolboy.

Oh, the things he does to me.

"I…uh.." I stumble for words.

"Yes Buddy, Ana stayed with Daddy… and Ana might stay over a lot more in the future, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah…I wikes when Ana stays over" He smiles leaning back into my embrace and I move my arms around him holding close to me.

He's so adorable and caring.

I look to Christian who I think has become a little overwhelmed with Theodore's response.

He leans forward and kisses my forehead and then Theodore's.

Gail puts plates in front of us consisting of toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage.

It smells absolutely incredible.

"Thankyou Gail" I smile brightly.

"FankYou" Theodore copies me making me giggle and Christian does the same before we all start to dig in.

Next thing we know, the elevator pings notifying us someone is entering. Theodore oblivious to everything and still continues to stuff his face making me giggle.

"Good morning my darlings" Grace walks in smiling brightly.

She's dressed beautifully the same as always.

"Gwandma!" Theodore waves excitedly with a piece of bacon in his mouth.

Christian chuckles at him ruffling his hair before looking over to his Mom, "Morning Mom…we wasn't expecting you"

"I was passing by and thought I'd come by and see my little grandbaby and darling son"

I smile brightly at her words as she makes her way over kissing Theodore's cheek, stroking Christian's cheek and then giving me a small hug.

"Morning Ana…did you enjoy last night?"

"I did, it was wonderful thank you again for inviting me"

"No need to thank me, sweetheart, you're always welcome".

"Gwandma! Ana stays in Daddy's bed again!".

"Oh did she now? Well isn't your Daddy a lucky man huh?"

"Yeah!" Theodore agrees with her and he shoves another piece of bacon into his mouth.

Oh my gosh, he keeps giving away our secrets. My cheeks flush a bright pink and I let out a small nervous giggle from my lips.

She can't tell that we… you know? She wouldn't be able to, right?

Oh gosh.

She laughs softly ruffling Theodore's hair again and looks to Christian with a small wink and a grin.

"Anyway, I only came by to make sure you're both still coming for lunch?"

Lunch? I had no idea about lunch. I look to Christian smiling.

"You forgot" She smirks at him.

"I did, I'm sorry…we haven't long woken up…"

"It's fine..are you coming though?" She smiles between us both and Christian looks to me. Asking and pleading with his eyes.

Of course, I'll go.

I nod smiling, "Of course".

"Perfect, so we'll see you there around 1"

"Thanks, Mom" Christian smiles at her giving her a small hug before she moves to me, then Theodore.

"Bye my handsome baby, Grandma will see you later" She kisses his head and he nods giving her a big grin.

"Bye Bye Gwandma"

After lunch, I'm going to head home and look for publishing houses, writing jobs, apprenticeships, Internships. Anything I can find to do with my English Major I graduated college with.

Finally, thanks to my Dad, thanks to Christian and his family and little adorable Theodore. I feel like I could do more. So much more with my life. I feel like I could do anything I set my mind to and honestly? It's mainly thanks to him for giving me the confidence and empowerment I've always needed but lacked.

I can finally see a future.

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Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews on my last chapter! I hope this story will continue to pique your interests! There's plenty more to come, I promise.

So far, what's been your favorite qualities?

Is there anything you'd like more or less of?

I take constructive criticism on board and I always try to please my readers as best as I can.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34…

Lunch on Saturday went really well.

Ana joined us which was great. My family loves having her there and they make such a fuss that I finally met someone.

And as suspected, Teddy sat on her lap the entire time.

I'm so grateful and overwhelmed that she allows him. I still can't believe I have found someone who loves both me and my son equally but I am ever so grateful that I have.

She is completely and utterly amazing.

Sitting beside her as Teddy babbles away to her, My Mom watching her in awe, my Dad smiling brightly.

Kate and Elliot both sat together making their usual googly eyes at each other and Mia smiling and enjoying herself too.

This family time is becoming more and more bearable having Ana round.

Just before lunch was served, Just as I was walking down the stairs from the upstairs bathroom, Kate and Ana were having a conversation. A conversation about last night.

Ana doesn't give anything away which I'm grateful for, I hate people knowing my private life, I know though she is exactly the same and I know I can trust her. But my heart swells when I hear her words.

"You seem…different…" Kate says.

"I feel different" Ana blushes in reply with a bright smile.

That's all their conversation about last night consisted of, but the hinting of our sexual activity is there.

I made my way to the bottom of the steps and Kate smiles seeing me, gently squeezing Ana's arm.

"I'm going to go and find Elliot," She says leaving Ana and me together.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"So…Kate knows"

She bites her lip, I could tell she was nervous. "She figured it out… I didn't tell her".

My lips curled into a small smile and I move my hands to her waist.

I dip down and I kissed her softly, before whispering against her lips.

"I can't wait to do it again"

I heard a small gasp escape her lips and she looked up at me. A smirk plastered on her face.

"Me too"

She surprises me.

Teddy thoroughly enjoyed having Ana around all day, but to our dismay, she drove her car over to my parents' house so she could drive straight home.

We spoke for a long time over breakfast this morning about our relationship and how she's going to speak to the head of the school Monday about us and if it's a problem.

But honestly? As much as I want her to stay there with Teddy, I also know she's capable of so much more than a teaching assistant.

Her major in College and her results is more than enough to tell me she would be an amazing publisher, Author, Writer….anything she sets her mind to. But she was having doubts and I wanted to help her through them. Therefore, over breakfast, I encouraged her, even more, to go for her dreams.

That's why she's headed home earlier than expected from lunch so she could start looking. Her father is also home early hours tomorrow morning.

I'm not entirely sure what he does. But from what I know, he'll be retiring from whatever he does soon and he'll be around for Ana more often. I think she's glad about that.

Her mother? Never met her.

From what I already know, I'm not sure I want to.

Sunday.

Sunday was an odd day.

I missed waking up to her.

I missed having her in my bed.

I had a nightmare but it wasn't as bad as my usual ones.

Maybe she's healing me?

Is that even possible?

Anyway…

I miss having her at breakfast.

I miss watching her with my son.

The way he squeals in delight when he sees her, the way she comforts and soothes him, the way she reads and plays with him, the way she's happy to have him around. She understands. She understands us both and I am still in complete and utter awe of her.

Now it's Monday.

Mrs. Jones dropped Teddy off to school while I went into work at 5.30 this morning. I have business growth all over the world now and with the various time zones, it's difficult to get them all in for business meetings over skype.

I have one scheduled for 6.30. Another for 8. The next at 10 and another at 1. After that, I plan to search for some properties around the outskirts of the city.

I want to find a real home.

A real place for Teddy to grow up and play in.

A place where he can run around in the gardens, carefree and happy.

A place where… A place I hope maybe one day, Ana and I could have together.

I can't believe I'm even thinking that way, but I know. I just know, I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

I want to make love to her in our bed, in our house, every chance we can get.

After my 8 o clock meeting, I pull out my phone texting Ana. Today is the day she's talking to the head about our relationship and if it's okay to do so. I don't really give a fuck what they say, I'm not losing her just because of what some uptight asshole says. I am not losing her. I think she would agree with me too.

_'Goodluck for today, let me know what they say… If I need to come in and give them a what for, I will just let me know ;)' _

_'LOL. I am nervous…I'm worried they'll say it's against the policy or something' _

_'I don't see a problem with it, you won't be there forever…' _

_'Yeah I know, I just can't lose this job right now :( ' _

_'We'll figure out, don't worry about a thing' _

After that, she doesn't answer and I'm assuming she's in for her the meeting.

I hope it goes well.

But regardless, as I said before….I'm not losing her. They can.

The day goes pretty quickly and now I'm free, I've started property shopping.

There are some wonderful places available but nothing touching my heart.

But then, I find one near a lake.

I remember it somehow. I think my Mom and Dad used to take me there when they first adopted me.

They used to take me out on a boat and even though I never spoke to anyone, I remember feeling free, I remember feeling the first piece of happiness in my entire lifetime as the wind swept through my hair. My Mom's gaze constantly watching me, caring for me, worrying for me, making sure I was safe.

I wonder…

I wonder if it's the same lake.

I dial Elliot's number and on the fourth ring he answers.

"Hey bro, what's up?"

"Hey El, are you free Friday?"

"Uh…. I'm free in the afternoon, I have a job until 12"

"Perfect…how do you fancy joining me on viewing a house? I need your eye for these things"

"Yeah sure bro, say 2 o clock? I can shower and meet at yours"

"Great! I'll see you on Friday"

"See you on Friday!"

I continue my search but nothing is drawing me like the Lake one.

A couple of hours later I leave the office to go and pick up my little man.

I can't wait to take him home and have some us time.

I think a night of the man cave, a few movies and maybe a pizza is on order for me and my little guy.

I arrive at the school climbing out and Teddy is standing there alone.

He seems a little awkward.

No Ana insight.

That's weird.

I make my way up to the door to collect Teddy and as soon as he sees me he comes running towards me.

"Daddy!"

"Hey buddy, how was your day?!"

"Otays" He nuzzles into my neck resting his head onto my shoulder.

Hmm…

I look inside but Ana is nowhere in sight.

Where is she?

I take Teddy back to the car and I put him into his car seat. Pulling out my phone I try to call her but she doesn't answer.

And again, but no answer.

So instead, I send a text.

_'Is everything okay? Call me later to tell me how today went. I hope it went well'_

I'm a little worried, she is always there to say goodbye to Teddy.

As I'm driving home, I look at Teddy in the mirror.

"Did you see Ana today buddy?"

He shakes his head and he looks out of the window sadly.

"Onwy weading me a book"

Only a book, that's approximately 10 - 20 minutes of the day.

This seems a little….strange.

Where was she all day?

I know she had requested a meeting with the Head to explain our situation but surely it wouldn't have taken all day?

As soon as I pull up outside of the apartment, I pull Teddy out of his car seat and lifts him into my arms heading into the elevator.

"Is Ana stayings towight Daddy?"

"No buddy, I don't think so" I kiss head as I see his little pout.

"Aww" He curls into me and wraps his arms around my neck.

"Do yous miss Ana Daddy?"

"I do…do you?"

He nods resting his head onto my shoulder sucking his little thumb.

"We'll see her again soon though okay? She stays over at the weekend now because you and she have school during the week"

"But Ana no stays at school today"

Yeah he's right, why wasn't Ana in the classroom today?

"Hey, how about we order a pizza, have a bath and then we can build your little blanket cave and watch some movies huh? Teddy and Daddy time"

"Yaaayyyyyy Teddy ands Daddy time"

I chuckle at his reaction and I put him down onto his feet.

"Okay buddy, go and pick two movies while Daddy calls and orders the pizza"

"Otays!"

I watch as his little feet rush towards his room before I pull out my phone, firstly trying Ana again.

But this time, her phone is dead.

I try again.

Dead.

And Again.

Dead.

Maybe her battery died, I won't worry yet, she'll be in contact soon I'm sure.

I am a little on edge though.

What if something happened?

It wouldn't have, would it?

She'll be in contact, she will.

"Gots them, Daddy!" Teddy comes running back over smiling brightly.

"Okay buddy, I'm just ordering the pizza and then we'll get it all set up"

He nods smiling brightly.

Once the delivery is ordered, we grab all the blankets and start draping them around, holding them up, making sure they're all perfectly set up into his usual little man cave.

I smile brightly at how happy he is now.

He's so different now he doesn't spend any time with Leila.

The rest of the evening flows by.

The hours passing quickly as I thoroughly enjoy spending some father and son time.

I love making him laugh.

I love making him smile.

The pizza went down a treat, it was just what we both needed.

We're currently laying against the pillows, the blankets surrounding us as we watch The Grinch.

Of all the movies in the world, yes he chose this one.

But the thing about it is, I don't pay much attention to the movie. All of my attention is on his facial expressions. The way he smiles, the way he laughs the way he wriggles excitedly.

It makes me chuckle and makes my heart melt. The love I have for him is completely and utterly overwhelming.

The movie is coming to an end and he looks up at me.

"Do yous wuv Ana Daddy?"

Ana. I sigh.

I haven't even heard off her all day. This morning she went really quiet and I haven't heard since.

Did she regret last weekend? Is that why she's not answering me?

Do I? Do I love her?

I do.

I definitely do.

Am I ready to admit it out loud?

I'm not sure.

I gently kiss the top of his head smiling.

"Do you love Ana?"

He nods smiling brightly, "I wuvs Ana and me wuvs Daddy wots and wots and wots and wots!"

I chuckle cuddling him closer.

"We love you too Teddy, I love you so much"

"I wishded Ana wived wiv us. She makes Daddy smiles wots"

"Yeah, she does, doesn't she?"

He nods giggling and his little arms wrap around my neck.

I kiss all over his face before tickling his tummy making him squeal and wriggle until I stop my assault and we manage to make the rest of the movie.

My arms around him as he cuddles into my side the movie finally ending and he yawns softly.

"Bedtime?"

He nods yawning again and his eyes are drooping.

He makes me laugh.

I carefully tuck him into bed, kissing his forehead goodnight.

I gently run my hand through his hair as I watch him for a moment, my life, my everything.

I'm so proud of him. I'm so proud he's mine.

On my way out of his room, I check my phone but there's nothing.

Nothing from her.

Only emails plastering my screen about business.

I really don't give a fuck right now. I just want to go to bed.

Heading into my bedroom I undress until suddenly my phone is ringing on the bed.

I lift it, looking at the number.

Unknown.

Fuck that, not in the mood.

I let it ring out.

The ringtone stops and I climb under my duvet. I'm so fucking tired.

I hope, I just hope the nightmares stay away tonight.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Fuck sake" I groan lifting my phone again seeing the same unknown number.

Irritable and tired, I answer.

"Yes?!"

"Ch-Christian….I..it's…"

Ana.

Fuck it's Ana.

I know it's her but I can barely understand her words.

Is she crying?!

What the fuck?!

"Ana? Ana what's wrong?! Are you crying?! Fuck Ana….talk to me!"

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	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35…

Knock. Knock.

"Come in!"

I slowly open the door smiling nervously as I enter.

"Ana…hey…"

"Hi, Candice…how are you?"

I make my way inside when she gestures to the chair opposite her desk.

"I'm good thankyou…how are you doing?"

"I'm okay…" I nod with the nervous smile still on my face.

"What can I do for you?" she smiles brightly.

My heart is pounding hard inside my chest.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm expecting her to say, but I'm nervous as hell.

My hands shaking so hard making me slip them underneath my thighs to make them stop as I begin to talk.

Here goes nothing.

"…so…Theodore…"

"Oh yes, I heard that trial went well?"

"It did, really well…his Mom was sentenced and he's been so different since then"

She nods listening.

"I'm glad about that, has something else happened?"

I simply nod, I look down awkwardly before looking back up at her.

Christian and I have gone too far for this to go wrong now.

I'm in love with him and if she dismisses me because of this I'm not entirely sure what I'll do.

"His father, Christian…before I knew he was Theodore's Dad we met and…well…"

"You have feelings for him…" She says it like she already knew the situation.

I watch as her eyes widen, but not with dismay or shock….more with surprise and excitement.

I nod slightly biting my lip.

I am sweating.

"I had an incline…I was passing by the classroom a few days ago and I saw you with Mr. Grey and Theodore…I could see it in your eyes and his"

"Is it against the policy or anything? You know because he's a parent? I didn't know he was Theodore's father until after the feelings came you know? Things were going well….and now it's a little more serious I guess, I just don't want it to be a problem if I work here?"

"Ana, it's absolutely fine… as long as there's no favoritism in the classroom and you keep your private life and professional life separate. The other children love you and we've had some really good comments made about you from other parents…"

"Really? That's…wow…"

She smiles brightly and squeezes my hand.

"You're fine Ana, I promise, there's no need to worry…thank you for telling me"

I nod smiling and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Thank you, Candice"

She smiles nodding, "It's no problem…if there's anything else I can do, you know I'm always here".

She's amazing, I'm so grateful for her I can't even describe.

For everything, she has done.

"Thankyou"

I leave her office feeling so much more confident.

I sigh a breath of relief when I leave the office, making my way back towards the classroom I pull out my phone to text Christian how it went and we got the green light.

I'm so so happy.

But as soon as I lift my phone out of my pocket it starts to ring with an unknown number.

I look curious but I answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this miss Anastasia Steele?"

"Yes…"

"My name is Doctor Greene…I believe you are an emergency contact for a Mr. Raymond Steele?"

"Yeah, …he's my Dad? Is everything okay? Has something happened?"

"I'm sorry Miss. Steele but your father has been in a car accident if you could come to the hospital as soon as possible and I can explain more then"

"Wh-….What?….H-He…Wh-what? Is he okay?! What happened?"

The adrenaline running through my body, I almost collapse to the floor and suddenly it stops when I hear of the car crash. My body suddenly going numb and limp and I hold myself against the wall.

"Please Miss Steele if you come to the hospital I can tell you more"

My head is spinning.

This isn't happening.

It's not happening.

Not….Not my Dad.

"Miss Steele?"

"Y-Yeah….sorry…I…"

"I know this must be a shock to you and I'm sorry…"

"I'll be right there"

I hang up quickly and I rush back to the classroom.

My eyes filling with tears.

My whole body is shaking and panicking as I rush to Mrs. Morgan.

All of the children, painting and luckily they don't notice my state.

"Ana? Ana, what's wrong?"

Mrs. Morgan rushes to me quickly.

"I…My…I"

"Dear girl come and sit down…breath…"

My tears are willingly flowing down my cheeks now.

"My Dad…he…the hospital…"

She cups my cheeks.

"Ana breathe….breathe….tell me what's happened"

I take a deep breath.

Then another.

And another.

"The hospital called and my dad….he…he's been in an accident"

I close my eyes and even more, tears fall.

"Oh, my dear girl…go to him…I'll cover for you here..I'll explain to Candice…just go…I can handle here okay?"

"Are you sure? I…"

"Ana, I'm telling you to go…you have to be with him…"

I nod wiping my cheeks and I quickly move to grab my bag.

"Don't worry about the rest of the week just make sure he's okay, okay?"

"Thank you, Elizabeth" I choke out and she hugs me.

She hugs me tightly.

"I hope he'll be okay sweetheart"

"Th-Thankyou" I sniffle and nods, I'm so grateful for her and I hug her once more before I rush out of the classroom and to my car.

I'm not sure I should be driving, I'm shaking, I'm numb, but I have to get there as soon as I can.

I feel so terrible leaving little Theodore without saying goodbye but I have to go to my Dad. He'll understand.

I'll text Christian and explain to him what's going on later.

I drive to the Hospital and I rush inside.

"Hi…I'm looking for a Doctor Greene?"

"Anastasia Steele?"

A woman approaches me in white scrubs holding a clipboard.

"Yes?"

"I'm Dr. Greene, I'm glad you made it"

I nod, "Is he okay? What happened?"

"Come with me…" She gives me a sympathetic smile.

I follow her into a place where it's quiet. No other people.

Just us.

She closes the door behind us.

"Your father is currently in surgery…he was brought in by an ambulance about 2 hours ago…"

"2 Hours?! Why am I only now being called?"

"When he was brought in our main priority was making sure he was seen to…we had to find out who he was and then find his emergency contacts"

"Is he okay? I mean…he's not…he's not…is he?"

"No…he's stable for now…but we had to put him into surgery as soon as possible. He incurred 3 broken ribs that punctured through his lung causing internal bleeding. He has head injuries that we're looking into right now. He also has a broken arm and wrist. As of right now, our main priorities are internal bleeding and head injuries. The driver of the truck was fatal and passed away."

A truck?!

A truck?!

"Is…Is he going to be okay? My Dad?"

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding for so long.

"We're hopeful and he's in good hands"

"Can I see him?"

"You'll have to wait in the waiting room for now as he's still in surgery but as soon as I know more, I'll inform you immediately"

I simply nod.

What else can I do?

I feel as though my heart has almost stopped beating.

If he…

What if he…

No, he can't.

He'll get through this.

He will.

As I sit waiting in the waiting room, my mind a vortex of negative thoughts.

He's can't die.

He can't.

He promised me he'd always be here for me.

He can't just….he can't.

What the hell happened?

How did it even happen!

I need comfort, I need reassurance.

I pull out my phone but it's switched off.

When I push my finger into the power button the battery sign pops up.

It's dead.

Great.

I can't…

I'm struggling to cope and I just want to see my Dad and I want to see Christian and I just want to go back to the weekend where everything was okay and normal.

I sob into my hands.

The hour's pass.

And pass.

And pass.

The clock ticking but it feels like it's never moved.

I feel so useless, so numb, so broken.

I can't lose my Dad, not another one.

I don't have anyone else.

"Miss Steele?" I perk up at the sound of my name and I stand as Dr. Greene makes her way towards me.

"Yes?"

"He's in recovery…the surgery went well but we would like to monitor him so we'll be keeping him in the intensive care unit for the next 24 hours at least"

"Can I see him?"

"Not until we move him out of intensive care, I'm really sorry, but if anything happens or changes I will call you immediately"

"But..please…I need to see him…I need to… please…He's my Dad…I don't have anybody else….please…just, let me see him, please?"

I break down right in front of her, sitting back onto the chair behind me in fear my knees buckling.

She sighs sadly, gazing over my appearance.

I must look like a complete and utter mess.

"Come with me"

She guides me down the corridor, my tears still free falling.

Through one set of double doors.

She scans her I.D, then another set of double doors.

Down another corridor but this one is darker somewhat.

The lights aren't as bright and she looks at me sympathetically.

She scans her I.D once again and we go through another large set of double doors.

"You can't go into the room, but you can view from the window, I can only give you 5 minutes"

I nod gratefully and she guides me to a window.

"5 minutes okay?"

"Thank you" I smile sadly at her and when I turn towards the window, there he is.

He's laying there, fragile, helpless, alone, battered and bruised.

My limbs going numb, I hold myself against the frame just to keep myself steady.

My heart breaks into a hundred billion pieces at the sight of him laying there unconscious.

I can hear his monitor beeping even from outside of the room.

"Dad…." My voice barely even a whisper. "Dad..please….please…please be okay…."

I sob, my cheeks a constant flow of waterfalls.

For the full 5 minutes, I just stand there, sobbing. Mumbling little words to him but I already know he can't hear me anyway.

"Miss Steele…"

I nod knowing my time is up and I follow her back through the sets of doors and back out into the waiting room.

"Is there anyone you could stay with tonight?"

I don't want to go home.

I can't.

Not without him there, not knowing he's laying in here all alone.

But I have Christian.

Maybe I can go to him.

I nod at her, "Can I come back in the morning?"

"You can but I'm afraid you'll just be in the waiting room until we bring him out of the unit…I promise I will update you on anything okay?" She puts her hand to my shoulder and I nod.

I don't want to leave.

I don't want to leave him.

"Th-Thankyou"

"I have to head off, but I'll be sure to call you okay?"

I nod again and I watch her make her way back through the double doors.

I'm grateful she took me to see him even though she probably shouldn't have or she didn't have to.

But I am ever so grateful.

I pull my phone out.

It's still dead.

Great. I don't have Christian's number.

Would he mind if I just turned up?

What if he's asleep, or Theodore is asleep.

I don't want to disturb them.

I walk to the reception.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yeah…my Dad, he's in the intensive care and my phone is dead" I can feel the tears welling up once again. "C-Could I…Uhm…I'm sorry"

"Oh, sweetheart…here…"She hands me the phone.

I nod gratefully barely able to speak.

"Th-Thankyou…could I…could I borrow a pen too? Please?"

She nods smiling sympathetically handing me a pen.

I call the only other number I know. With my phone dead, I can't call Christian directly.

But Kate, I know her number off by heart.

If I call Kate, I can get to Elliot. If I can get to Elliot….I can get Christian's number.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello, Kate Kavanagh?"

"K-Kate…I need…I need a favor"

"Ana? Is that you? What the hell is wrong? Has something happened?"

"My Dad…he's in the hospital….my phone is dead, I need to get a hold of Christian but I don't have his number…"

"Shit Ana, okay give me two seconds, Elliot is downstairs…"

It goes quiet but I can hear her rushing and calling out his name.

"Okay Ana, I'm putting Elliot on".

Elliot tells me his phone number and using the pen the receptionist gave me I write it down into my palm.

"Thanks, Ell…"

"Ana, I'm so sorry…I hope he'll be okay…"

"Thankyou…."

After that phone call, I type in Christian's number into the phone and it rings. But he doesn't answer.

Please Christian….please…

I give it a few moments before dialing again.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Yes?!"

He sounds angry. Why does he sound angry? I panic.

My voice is barely able to form a full sentence.

"Ch-Christian….I..it's…"

"Ana? Ana what's wrong?! Are you crying?! Fuck Ana….talk to me!"

I take a deep breath but I can't stop my tears from falling and I can't stop the sobbing escaping my lips as I talk.

"M-My Dad….he's in the hospital…they won't let me stay with him…"

"Ana…breathe…fuck Ana, I'm so sorry…"

"I don't want to go home alone…" I sniffle.

"Baby, come here…you don't have to ask…just come right here okay?"

"Are you sure?" I wipe my tears and the receptionist looks at me with such sympathy.

"Of course Ana, you don't need to ask…Do you want me to send Taylor to pick you up?"

"No...No... I'll be okay, I can drive.. I'll be right over... Thank you" I sniffle.

"I'll wait for you at the elevator okay? stay safe, I'll see you soon" 

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Thanks again for all of your wonderful reviews!

A guest made a review about Pinterest? I don't have it personally but if you'd like to review or PM explaining how you'd like me to do that, then i'll definitely consider it.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36…

"She's here sir"

"Thank you, Taylor, I'll be right down"

I head into the elevator pressing down against the car park button letting it take me down.

I watch as the numbers descend.

And descend.

And descend.

It feels like forever.

Finally the doors open and I take a step out, Taylor stood to the right of the Elevator waiting.

Her car door opens and when I see her face, my heart breaks for her.

She looks so broken, so lost, so afraid.

Her eyes bloodshot from the crying, her cheeks tear-stained.

But she's still so so beautiful.

I look at her sadly as she makes her way over to me slowly.

I put my arms out to accept her and when I do she rushes into them starting to sob into my chest.

I encircled my arms around her tightly, I hold her close letting her break apart on my embrace.

Her body shaking with fear, I can hear her sobs and sniffles as she hides her face away from me.

I wasn't sure what she had with her so in fear she was cold I brought a blanket down with me and I wrap it around her shoulders.

The blanket around her, I hold her close.

"I'm here…I've got you now…" I whisper sweet nothings into her ear, "Come on let's go inside".

She wipes her eyes as we part our embrace and I keep my arm around her as we head inside.

She's quiet.

Too quiet.

Not like my usual, happy, enthusiastic, carefree Ana.

I hate seeing her this way…I hate it.

I guide her into the apartment and she curls the blanket further around her body.

"Do you want some tea?" I gently cup her cheek as I stroke my thumb across her skin soothingly.

I wish I could do more for her.

I just want to make her smile again.

Fuck, I hope her Dad will be okay.

I wonder….I wonder if my Mom could help.

She nods and offers me a small grateful smile.

"Thank you for…for letting me come here"

"Ana we love having you here, I wish you'd stay more often" I give her a reassuring look and she nods moving to sit on the chair at the island.

She nods and looks back down towards her hands. Playing her fingers against each other.

She's hurting so bad I don't know how to handle this shit.

Fuck.

I move to sit beside her with two cups of tea and I carefully slide hers between her hands.

So deep in thought, she didn't even realize I was moving in beside her.

I stand beside her and I carefully turn her chair to face me and I kiss her forehead and I simply wrap my arms around her.

I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I just want to be there for her, hold her, tell her it's going to be alright….

But I don't know that do I?

What if he's not?

"Do you want to talk about it?" I kiss the top of her head as she rests her forehead against my chest, my hand gently stroking against her back.

"I was so happy to text you to let you know that the school is okay with us being together… I pulled…." She takes a deep breath and I gently lift her chin to look up at me. "I pulled my phone out of my pocket ready to text you but a number started calling me when I answered it was the hospital, they wanted me to go in as soon as possible. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to Theodore, I'm so sorry…I'm so so sorry"

"Ana…Ana, it's okay….it's understandable, don't blame yourself, your father needed you. Teddy will understand" I run my fingers through her hair.

She simply nods and closes her eyes sadly.

I hate seeing her this broken, she's normally the strong one trying to keep me alight.

"I waited hours…they told me he had broke lungs that punctured his lungs causing internal bleeding, head injuries and bruising, they wouldn't let me see him but I broke down…they took me to the window of his room and….and…."

Her tears start to fall again.

My strong, brave and happy Ana is in a deep dark worrying hole.

I move my arms around her and she sobs into my chest again.

I close my hand holding her, soothing her, kissing her head, stroking her back. Anything I can do to try and make her feel better.

"He's going to be okay…he's going to be okay" I whisper sadly.

"He looked so lonely, so…so hurt…. the truck driver already died…I can't even do anything to help him, they won't even allow me to be at his side…what am I supposed to do?!"

She looks up at me wither her worrying tear-filled eyes. Pleading with me for some positivity.

"What if…what if he….what…." Her tears start to fall again.

"Ana, baby…" I gently cup her face in both of my hands, "If you are anything like your father then I know he's going to be okay…he's going to make it through…he's brave, stubborn and determined…he's not going to leave you okay?"

I'm saying all these things and I hope they are true. I hope he does make it through. If he doesn't she might loathe me forever.

She leans up surprising me and she captures my lips, she kisses me softly, gently, slowly. Her arms moving around my neck.

I kiss her back, if this is what she needs then I'll give it to her. I'll give her whatever the fuck she wants and needs. But she's emotional and broken and for tonight, kissing will be the limit.

I'd love to do more, I'd love to make love to her and make her forget the world outside but this situation, it's not okay, it's her Dad.

I gently pull the blankets further around her and I pull away from the kiss resting my forehead against hers.

"Let's go to bed okay? You look exhausted" I whisper and she nods gratefully.

I gently take her hand and I guide her into my bedroom bringing our teas with us.

She sits on the edge of the bed wiping her eyes. I move to my closet grabbing her one of my shirts and I place it on the bed next to her.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?"

She simply shakes her head and looks at me with the smallest of broke smiles. "Thank you for everything"

"you're welcome baby" I gently peck her lips.

She starts to undress, I guess feeling a little braver after everything we've been through and so I take her lead undressing the other side of the bed. But I just can't help myself.

I'm a man, it happens.

I take small glances over at her.

Her creamy smooth body being revealed and her light blue underwear covering her intimate areas.

I bite my lip, my body reacting but due to the circumstances, I'm able to calm myself.

Once I'm only in my boxer shorts I climb onto the bed and she turns to face me carefully climbing in beside me.

I hold my arm out for her and she shuffles closer nuzzling into my neck taking a deep breath.

Her arm moving around my torso, her leg tangling with mine and my arms moving around her body holding her close to me.

Running my hand through her hair, up and down her back.

I start to think, I start to think about us, about her, about Teddy.

About everything.

The school has given us the green light, I have a house viewing on Friday and I love her.

And I think, I'm finally officially admitting it.

Her breathing is becoming slower, hopefully, she is finally calming.

"Ana?"

"Hmm?" She mumbles softly nuzzling further into my neck.

"I love you," I say, barely even a whisper.

She stills for a moment, her body goes stiff.

Oh, fuck what have I done.

After what feels like a lifetime she moves out of my neck and gazes up at me. Her eyes filled with tears.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Maybe now wasn't the right time, fuck.

"Y-You do?"

"I'm sorry…fuck..I'm sorry it wasn't right the time to…"

She cuts me off and catches me off guard when she cups my cheek and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

Taking me by surprise, my hand moving to her waist, holding her close to me.

She pulls back after a few moments and rests her forehead against mine, "I love you too".

And that.

That is exactly what I wanted to hear.

What we both needed to hear.

I kiss her softly once more before she curls back into my side.

I just hold her. My heart feels….it feels…weird.

It feels whole.

I feel whole.

"Are you going back to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Yeah…I need to be there in case they move him into his own room, as soon as he's out of intensive care I can sit with him"

"I'll take you there if you want? On my way to work and dropping Teddy off. If I didn't have such an important meeting tomorrow I'd stay with you but I can come right back after the meeting and be with you, is that okay?"

"I'd like that, thank you" She places a kiss against my shoulder.

"And you can stay here as long as you need" I kiss the top of her head and I gain a small smile from her lips.

She stays quiet, I'm assuming she's thinking.

I look down at her and she's staring off into the universe.

"I was thinking, My Mom is a Doctor at the hospital she works mainly with children but I can see if there's anything she can do…maybe find out more or…I don't know"

"Really? Do you think she could?"

"I think she'd do her best, she adores you. I'll call her tomorrow morning when I get to work okay?" I smile reassuringly at her and she leans up once again kissing me softly.

"Thank you…for everything, I don't know what I'd do without you"

"I feel exactly the same about you" I whisper and kisses her again.

After that, we fall asleep in each other's arms.

She was still upset but she seemed to have calmed even a little bit being with me.

Being on her own at that hospital must have been fucking awful for her.

Her Dad is everything to her, the only parent she has left.

But I'll do everything I can to get her through this.

I'll be by her side.

I love having her here with me, I love having her in my bed.

I hope, I hope one day, maybe we'll have a place together.

I said it to her. I finally said it to her.

I told her I loved and she said it back.

I still can't believe it.

I knew I couldn't give up on her, I knew, no matter how many times I tried to run, how many times I tried to push her away, how many times I tried to leave. I knew deep down we were meant to be.

The next morning and she's still fast asleep next to me.

Yesterday was such a trying day for her she must have been exhausted.

I carefully slip out of the bed trying not to wake her and I head out into the kitchen to see Gail already starting breakfast.

"Morning Mr. Grey"

"Good morning Gail"

"Breakfast sir?"

"Please…Ana is here too but she's a little fragile, her Dad is in the hospital could I grab something just to take into her for when she wakes?"

"Of course sir, I'll get everything set up and ready"

"Thank you "I smile gratefully and I sit on the chair sipping the coffee she already made for me.

"Daddy!" His little voice squeals through the house making me laugh. I lift him onto my lap and I cuddle him close to me.

"There's my handsome boy..did you sleep okay?"

He nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah!"

He curls into me smiling and I hand him his sippy cup with apple juice.

"Teddy? Daddy has to tell you something…"

"Wot?" He looks up at me.

"Ana is here okay? But…."

He cuts me off.

I knew as soon as I mentioned her he'd get excited but I don't want him to overwhelm her, nit right now. She's still so upset and worried about her Dad.

"ANA!"

"Hey Buddy…shh…shhh….yes Ana is here but she's upset okay?"

"Ana cwying?" His enthusiasm drops and it hurts my heart as I nod at him.

"Yeah buddy, she's crying…. her Daddy is in the hospital"

"Whys?" He looks sad now, he looks to the bedroom where he knows Ana is, then back up to me.

"Her Daddy got hurt in a car and he's in the hospital…Ana..well, that's why Ana didn't say goodbye to you at school yesterday but she had to go and be with her Daddy…"

"Ohs…." He nods looking down, "Ana cwying now?"

"She's sleeping now and I thought maybe we could take breakfast to her?"

He nods and gives me a small smile.

"Otays"

"I think she'd love one of your hugs too"

He nods even more, "I gives Ana wots of cuddwles" He smiles. "Ana, Daddy and Mes cuddwles".

"That's my boy" I kiss his head smiling brightly as Gail continues with breakfast.

I finish my coffee and Gail tops it up before she places a large tray in front of us with plates full of food.

"I made a little bit of everything, I'm not sure if she'll eat but hopefully something will entice her"

"Thank you, Gail, you're amazing" I smile gratefully. "Okay Buddy, let's go and have breakfast with Ana okay?" I pop him down onto his feet and he nods.

He walks with me, he doesn't run off excitedly which I thought he would. He must understand more that I thought.

I smile down at him and I gently ruffle his hair as I hold the tray in one arm and slowly open the door with the other.

She's awake and she's standing in the window simply gazing out. In a world of her own.

Overthinking, over worrying.

"Hey, you're awake"

She jumps a little, she must have been deep in thought.

She turns to face us and her eyes are filled with tears but she gives us a small smile when she sees Teddy.

"Hey sweetheart"

Teddy smiles as soon as she acknowledges him and runs over to her.

She willingly lifts him into her arms.

His arms wrap around her neck and she smiles holding more.

Maybe he'll be a good distraction for her.

"Ana otays?"

"Yeah, I'm okay" She kisses the top of his.

It's the first time I've seen her kiss him and I'm not sure she's realized she's even done it.

My heart swells watching the scene in front of me.

She must be so emotional.

Teddy's smile grows.

"We gots you bwekfast to makes you smile gains"

With that, she lets out a little laugh and her lips smile the biggest they have done since she got here last night.

That's my little guy.

"Well thank you…"

She looks to me and she smiles gratefully.

I can still see the worry and tiredness in her eyes.

"We can go whenever you're ready"

She nods and walks over kissing my cheek.

She seems a little more herself today but I'm worried it's an act in front of Teddy.

We sit on the bed eating.

Teddy babbling to her keeping her mind occupied. I guess that's a good thing?

She only nibbles at things, sips at things…she doesn't really eat anything substantial but with the worry and nervousness she has going on right now I can't really blame her.

She must be worried and sick to her stomach.

Fuck I wish I didn't have this meeting so I could stay with her.

After breakfast we get ready, I get Teddy dressed and we make our leave for the day. Her hands playing against each other nervously.

I drop Teddy off, then I head straight to the hospital.

"I have a little time so I'll come in with you until I need to leave"

And there they are, as soon as Teddy is gone the tears begin.

"Oh, Ana…" I sigh quickly climbing out of the car and I rush around to her side.

She climbs out and I move my arms around her. Her head burying into my chest.

"He's going to be okay….he's going to be okay"

She nods and I gently take her hand, locking my car and we head inside.

Making our way to the reception.

"We're here for Ray Steele in the intensive care unit? Ana is his daughter"

The receptionist smiles and nods looking through the computer system.

Ana laces our fingers and she rests her chin onto my shoulder as we wait for any information.

I turn my head to face her and I kiss her forehead.

I wish I could do more for her.

"Ana?" A strange voice comes from behind us.

I feel Ana's body tense slightly and her hand quickly drops and leaves mine as she takes a step back.

Her eyes wide, her mouth gaping in shock.

"M-Mom?"

What the fuck?

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	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37…

"Ana?"

I hear the slightly familiar voice behind me and my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach.

Not now, Not today.

I drop Christian's hand stumbling a step back in panic and I look towards the voice.

It is her.

Why is she?

How does she know to be here?

What the hell is going on?

"Mom?"

She nods smiling brightly at me, tears in her eyes.

What the hell?

Christian's arm moves to my waist, he's probably so confused.

"Annie, my darling baby girl…" She moves towards me reaching her hand up to cup my cheek but I take a step back.

A step further into Christian's embrace dismissing her actions.

My nostrils flaring, my blood boiling.

I can feel the anger rippling through my veins.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I look at her.

My eyes filled with anger when she looks at me in defeat.

She sighs sadly when her tears start to fall.

"I think we need to talk sweetheart"

"Don't sweetheart me!"

Christian holds me tighter. His fingers gently stroking my waist in an attempt to soothe me.

I keep my focus on him, on his movements, on his embrace.

I want to run, I want to leave, I don't even want to look at her.

"Anastasia please…can we at least talk about this?"

"Talk about what Mom? Talk about you abandoned us! Talk about how I was never enough for you? Talk about how I haven't even heard from you in months! Not even on my Birthday!"

She looks defeated, but honestly? I've been defeated by her for years. She deserves it. She deserves to be hurt. I notice how she looks up at Christian and then back to me. She dare not ask me about him or else I'll blow.

I shake my head before turning and I rush out of the door. I can't stand this. My tears flowing.

Why the hell is she here!

I just want to be with my Dad, I just want to know he's okay.

Why the hell is she here?!

I rush outside into the fresh air taking deep breaths needing the oxygen to fill my lungs to calm my hard beating heart.

I hear footsteps coming after me and suddenly I'm being enveloped into strong familiar arms.

He kisses the top of my head and holds me close against his body. My own arms snaking around his waist as I look up at him.

"So…that's your Mom"

"Unfortunately" I wipe away my tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He gently strokes my cheek ridding my tears too.

I smile up at him.

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you" He smiles in return and he leans down kissing me softly.

He holds me for a little while longer until suddenly the ring tone comes sounding from his pocket.

"Fuck, Ana I'm really sorry…"

"Your meeting…it's okay, go…" I smile resting my hand on his shoulder, "I'll be okay".

"I'll be two hours tops okay? I'll come right back…if you need me text or call okay?"

I nod, "I will".

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He gently strokes my hair behind my ear gazing deeply into my eyes. I can see the worry in them but he has to go, it's his business. His future for him and Theodore.

"I promise I'll be okay" I lean up and I peck his lips once more, "Go..I'll see you soon".

He nods and kisses my head once more before making his leave towards his car, driving away.

I remain outside on my own for a little while longer, taking in as much oxygen as I can.

Taking the deep breaths to calm my beating heart. To calm the anger pumping through my blood.

I have to be there for my Dad. It's only for two hours. It's just for two hours.

Two hours and then Christian will be back.

I can do this.

I don't have to talk to her, I don't have to listen to her.

I can just…I can just sit there and wait.

I make my way back inside and she's still standing there.

Running her hand through her hair, her cheeks are tear-stained just like mine.

I just stand there and watch her for a moment before taking a deep breath and making my way back to the reception desk.

"Any news on my father?"

"Dr. Greene is just on her way" The receptionist smiles and I nod moving to take a seat.

My mother hearing my voice again, her eyes follow me and then her body follows suit when she decides to take the seat beside me.

I continue to look down the corridor, hoping and waiting for Dr. Greene to arrive soon.

"Ana?"

"I don't want to talk to you"

"Please Annie sweetheart…"

"What could you possibly want to talk to me about? Hmm? The fact the man, my father, the one that you abandoned for another man is lying in a hospital bed! He almost died! What the hell could you possibly have to say?!"

She looks at me, a look of love almost but I shake it off. She doesn't love me, she never has.

I look back down towards the corridor.

"I'm so proud of you…you've grown up to be a feisty headstrong woman"

"Yeah no thanks to you"

She sighs.

I know I'm being harsh but given the circumstances, I think I have a right to be and to feel angry.

"That man…is he…"

"Is he what Mom? The man that I love? Do you remember what you told me about love?"

She looks down sadly, "Ana I was hurting…you have to understand..everything I did…everything I said it was all out of anger…"

"Yeah well, your anger kind of stuck with me"

It goes silent.

Too silent.

"But for your information, yes Christian and I are together…and yes, love does exist…no matter what you told me when I was younger I'm not letting your words burden me forever"

"I'm so happy for you sweetheart, I really am".

"Yeah, sure"

Dr. Greene finally comes walking down the corridor and I stand approaching her.

"Miss Steele…Mrs. Adams" She smiles greeting us.

Why is she acknowledging my Mother?

How long has she been here?

Why is she even here?!

"Is he okay? How is he doing?"

"He's doing really great actually, We worked on him through the night and his body responded well to the treatment. The operation on his lungs went really well, the internal bleeding has stopped and the injuries to his head weren't severe so we didn't need to operate there. We suspect a concussion and bruising but with bed rest that will heal in no time…he does have 3 broken ribs which I mentioned to you yesterday Miss Steele, but they have also been operated on to the best of our abilities, A plate had to be inserted but from here on out it's just waiting until he is ready to wake up and after that, bed rest, no strenuous movements and a lot of TLC…He had a lucky escape" She smiles brightly.

I let out the largest sigh of relief, he's going to be okay.

"Can I see him now?"

"Give it another 20 minutes, they're just settling him into the room. A Doctor Grey contacted the department and requested him to be put into a private room, but yeah, just wait until he's settled in and you can head down to see him, he'll be in room 101 "

"Thank you, Dr. Greene, for everything…thankyou so much" I wipe my happy tears.

Happy tears now.

He's okay.

He's going to be okay.

And Grace. Grace helped. I have to thank her the next time I see her. I can't thank her enough.

His own private room.

"Thank You, Doctor, this is a huge relief and to Doctor Grey too" My mother chirps in and I look at her with dismay.

A relief?

Why would it be a relief to her?

After everything, she did to both of us.

She doesn't even know who the hell Doctor Grey is!

She has no idea!

I can feel my blood curdling and getting agitated.

But I have to remember, I'm here for my Dad.

Waiting exactly 20 minutes I start to make my way down towards room 101.

"Ana?"

"What?"

"Is it okay…if I…we need to talk"

I want to say no, but I can't.

She's still my Mom and no matter how much she has hurt me, how much she turned my life upside down, how many times she told me I'd never have the life I wanted, I can't say no to her.

"Whatever"

I continue to walk, pulling out my cell phone and clicking on Christian's name, I know he's in a meeting but just a little text to let him know what's going on. Thankfully I managed to charge my phone last night in Christian's apartment.

_'Surgery went well, he's been moved to a private room thanks to your Mom. I can't thank her enough for what she's done. But my Dad is doing well and we can finally go in to see him. Thank you for everything too, I love you' _

I'm still amazed that he told me he loved me last night. And he said it first too.

I wasn't sure he was ready, I had hoped he did because I knew I loved him but now I know my heart flutters at the thought and I'll remind him every chance I get. He said it just at the right time too, I felt so lost, so broken, so alone yesterday but when he said it. I just knew. I knew everything was going to be okay.

_'That's amazing news, I'll be there soon we're just wrapping up. No need to thank me, I love you. ;) _

_How is your Mom doing?'_

_'My Mom is…well…my Mom. She wants to talk but I'm so mad at her' _

_'Just hear her out, you never know. And if it turns into a fight I'll be there soon to hold you back ;)' _

_'HAHA! You're funny :P I'll see you soon x ' _

I open the door and walk into the room. The only noise is the bleep of his heart monitor.

He looks so fragile, so pale, but he does look better than he did yesterday when I watched him through the window.

I take the seat beside him and I gently take his hand into mine holding it tight and kissing it.

"Dad…it's me…you're okay…I'm so glad you're okay" I whisper as my tears start to fall once again.

Tears full of relief to know he'll wake up.

My Mom enters behind me and takes the seat on the other side of his bed, sitting opposite me.

I watch her.

She looks at him and her tears start to fall.

Why is she crying, it's not like she cared about him when she left him.

I watch her.

And watch her.

She takes his hand and strokes over where his wedding ring remains.

The wedding ring she placed onto his finger when they got married. I never did understand why he didn't remove it after she left. Years of marriage down the drain all because of her.

"You wanted to talk…so talk…"

She finally looks at me and she wipes her eyes.

"Firstly, I just want to say I'm so sorry for everything Ana…everything I said and did to you…I loved you, I did…I know it didn't seem that way…"

"Why are you here?"

"Your Dad…he…well…we…" She sighs and looks back at him.

"What about him?"

"He got into the accident coming to pick me up from the airport. I was coming home, coming home to you both…Bob and I, we've divorced. I love your father and I always have done…I was just too stupid and blind to see it…My flight got delayed but he had already left…that's why I'm only now getting here, the flight didn't leave until early hours and I'm still his emergency contact. I got the phone call while I was waiting for my flight here. I was so worried"

"So he almost died coming to pick you up? Wait….wait….you were coming home? What the hell does that even mean?"

"I wanted to keep it a surprise…I wanted to surprise you. Your Dad and I have been, seeing each other again and I wanted to come home"

"And he willingly took you back? Just like that?"

I can feel the anger building again.

"He's good man Ana…too good"

"Yeah, he is…and you ruined that! Do you know how it felt to have him pick me up from school and bring me home only for us to find you and another man naked on our sofa! He wasn't himself for weeks! He was broken and so was I! All your bullshit about there being no knights in shining armor, no such thing as true love, your life is how you make it and you have to deal with the cards you're given. Do you remember all of that?!"

"Of course I remember…I was wrong Ana, I was so wrong"

"He was your knight! He was so good to you! To the both of us! I'm not even blood related to him and he's treated me more like a parent than you ever have! Why were we never enough for you Mom? Why was I never enough?"

"Ana….."

"No don't…just don't…" My tears freely flowing down my cheeks.

My anger emerging through my arms.

I'm not a fighter, I'm not a warrior.

I just cry.

It goes quiet, only for the same beep of the machine next to the bed.

Too quiet.

"I hated myself for so long…I was so lost…I didn't know what to do, where to go…your words constantly spiraling through my mind"

"I'm so sorry…."

I wipe my eyes and I look back to my Dad.

"He was never the same after you left"

"I missed him every day, and you…"

"Is that why you barely called? Barely text? Did you forget my birthday or were you too drunk to remember the day you gave birth?"

Oh my gosh, that was harsh. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just so so angry.

"That's why I was coming here, I wanted to make it up to you…I wanted to surprise you, we wanted to tell you together… All of your gifts are back at the house, I went there this morning to drop them off and all of my stuff before rushing here, but no one was home"

Gosh, no I wasn't there, I was with Christian.

But I'm glad.

Could you imagine her rocking up in the early morning to just me in the house?

I think I'd have been even angrier.

Luckily Christian was here for the initial blow this morning.

"How did you get in?"

"I used the key your Dad gave me last weekend"

"Last weekend?"

I look curiously.

She nods but looks down, "We wanted to keep it a surprise for you…"

"So he lied to me too, he wasn't working…"

She shakes her head.

Oh my gosh, this is too much.

Is there anybody I can trust right now?

"Are you actually kidding me?"

She looks at me sadly but I'm so….so… , annoyed, frustrated.

"Is there anybody I can trust?!"

"Me…you can trust me…" That's when I hear his voice and suddenly my anger starts to float away at the sight of him.

My body instantly calming when I feel him close to me.

He moves over to me, gently squeezes my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

My heart pounds as he does and he reaches his hand over to my Mom.

"Christian Grey, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before but I had a business meeting to attend"

"Carla, Carla Adams" She smiles at him returning his hand shake.

He rests his body onto the arm of the chair and he takes my free hand.

It's such a comfort having him here.

I wonder how much he heard.

But he's right, I can trust him and I do with my entire heart.

But my Mom? I'm still raging and now my Dad has lied about seeing her too I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

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	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38…

48 hours later.

It was 48 hours later when Ray woke from his sleep.

I was there by Ana's side holding her hand when his eyes opened.

Stirring and groaning in pain.

His smile brightening when he saw Ana and he squeezed her hand with delight and then, his gaze turned to the woman who had a hold of his other hand.

Ana's Mom.

His smile stayed but the worry in his eyes was evident.

I watched as Ana fought her emotions.

The relief of him finally being awake and alive but the anger and frustration of being lied to by the only person she thought she could trust.

I've been there, I've had the anger, I've had the rage, I've had the hate and I know what it can do to a person.

I don't want that for her, as much as she hates her Mom right now and even maybe her Dad for lying, she has to let the anger go otherwise it'll eat her up and destroy her.

My life was ruined by my anger and hate for everyone.

I pushed everyone away, I had rage against everyone.

Honestly? I'm worried about her because of that.

I'm worried because I know how it feels.

I know how it feels when you think you can't trust anyone.

I know how it feels when you think everyone is against you.

I know how it feels to hate the world and push it away.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid if she lets this hate and anger build up inside of her then she'll push me away too.

I have the experience, I can see the signs.

The hours go by and Ana barely says anything to either of them but thankfully, her fingers constantly play against mine as I hold her hand.

My free hand finding any part of her I can touch, or stroke, or hold just so she knows I'm not going anywhere.

Her mother barely spoke either and I fear that she's hiding something too. So, like the worrying and overthinking businessman I am, I have let Taylor in on it and he's digging for information right now but he hasn't found anything.

Not yet at least. Nothing we don't already know.

The days pass and I can feel the tension between the 3 of them.

Witnessing every conversation they've had.

Watching Ana and the torment of being lied to build up inside of her body.

But I think she has every right to be raging with them, both of them. I know I would be too.

"Do you want tea?" I kiss the top of her head smiling trying to comfort her in any way possible.

"Yes please, I'll come with you…." She smiles and stands with me, "Dad? Do you want anything?"

"I'm good thank you my girl" She nods in reply and then looks to her Mom but doesn't ask anything.

Ana looks at her as if asking the same question but no words leave her lips. Carla simply shakes her head in answer.

We leave the room and when we reach the cafeteria she cups my cheek and kisses me softly.

"Thank you for everything over the last couple of days, I don't know how to thank you. You've kept me sane and calm. "

The way her fingers gently stroke across my skin sends shivers through my body.

I smile brightly and I kiss her again, "Anything for you, how are you doing anyway? I mean really doing? "

She sighs and looks down watching the coffee extract into my cup from the machine.

"Honestly? I don't know, I'm still so mad at my Dad for lying to me and my Mom showing up out of nowhere? Like how did they expect me to react you know?"

"Yeah I get it, you're allowed to be pissed off you know? You don't have to hide it, not from me" I kiss the top of her head smiling.

"How is little Teddy doing?"

"He's missing you at school but he's loved having you stay with us "

She smiles brightly nodding in agreement, "I've loved staying with you too".

"You could…you know, make it more official? Maybe bring some of your stuff over… I could give you a key?"

Her eyes furrow curiously as she looks up at me. She hands over the money to the cashier for my coffee, her tea and her chocolate bar, adamant she was paying for mine too.

"A-Are you…are you asking me to move in with you?"

I am.

Yes, I fucking am.

I would love to wake up to her every single morning. Maybe never have a nightmare ever again and enjoy watching Teddy excitedly rush out and into her arms every morning.

My family.

That is exactly what I am doing, I'm asking her to move in with me.

"Yeah…I am" I smile and I move my hands to her waist. "You don't have to give me an answer now, but just think about it okay?"

She nods smiling brightly. Her hands moving to my shoulders and she leans up kissing me softly.

This is what I want.

"So…I have some news for you" She bites her lip as we start to make our way back to room 101.

"Hmm?" I look down at her sipping my coffee.

"While you were at work this morning I got an email…remember after lunch at your parent's house I went home and I applied to for publishing houses?"

"Yeah?"

OH fuck, did she get something?

I hope she did.

This would be amazing.

We stop just outside of the room and she looks up at me with the biggest grin.

"SIP has offered me an interview next Friday"

"SIP? Ana that's amazing! That's the biggest and best publishing house in Seattle"

"I know! I can't believe it! I mean it's only an interview, but it's a step right?"

"Ana…I'm so proud of you" I smile proudly at her, my eyes gazing deep into the abyss of her beautiful sparkling and excitable eyes.

Finally, some good news for her.

I open the door of the room and she walks inside sipping her tea.

"Carla you have to tell her…she's already so…"

They clearly weren't expecting us back so soon.

Ana freezes on the spot and I stand behind her looking at them. I feel so protective of her even from her parents.

I put my coffee on the table and I entice her over to the chair.

"Tell me what?"

Her eyes are blazing at them but they simply just look at each other. Worry and panic written on their faces.

"Tell me what?!" She repeats and finally her Dad gestures for her to come and sit at the edge of the bed.

"Annie, my girl…I know you're mad with me for lying…but…your Mom, she didn't want you to know anything yet but I hate to see you like this. The way you look at me is killing me and I can't keep it from you"

"Ray please…." Carla pleads with him but she shakes his head.

"I'm 22 years old for goodness sake! stop treating me like a child and just tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Carla if you want to stay here, then I have to tell her"

Ray looks at her seriously like he's not taking no for answer.

"Will you just tell me!" Ana requests, frowning at the both of them.

Ray sighs and looks back to Ana.

"I've been funding your Mom's rehab for a few months now…she's been trying to get herself better. She wanted to come home sooner but it wasn't the right time. You were so lost Annie, I didn't want to make things worse…so she continued her rehab in Georgia. During that time she had some tests done…"

"Tests? What Tests?"

"I have cancer…" Carla says plainly and looks at Ana with no emotion behind her words.

Ana grips onto the arm of the chair in shock.

"Wh-What…."

"I know you hate me and I don't blame you after everything I did… but I was trying to get better, I wanted to be a better mother. My love for your father never went away and I have always, always loved you, I was just stupid and selfish. I guess this cancer is the Karma and the bad luck for me fucking up all of our lives" Her tears start to fall and she looks down. Ray takes her hand sadly.

Ana slowly sits into the chair, I can feel her shaking against my arm.

So this is why she's back.

"She called me…I was so angry to hear from her too Ana. I almost put the phone down on her but I heard her out…she was going to AA meetings, she went into rehab. She made me promise not to say anything to you in fear of her relapsing because she didn't want to get your hopes up only to let you down again."

"I knew I wanted to come home to you both a long time ago, but finding out about the cancer made me realize how much I had fucked up. How much I missed the two most important people in my life and I gave them up for nothing. I love your father…and I love you very much…I wanted to come home and make it up to you, somehow. I wanted to come home to my family"

I'm in shock myself. I take Ana's hand in mine and she is shaking. Her tears are falling.

Again, she looks so broken, so lost.

"Please my darling baby girl, give me just one last chance?"

"I…I…I need some time" She stumbles over her words and looks up at me. She's fighting her tears back but I can feel her rapid heart rate beat under my fingers as I stroke her hand, "Can we…can we go?"

"Of course…" I stand taking her hand with me.

I look to Ray and Carla giving them a small nod. Carla looks away in defeat and Ray gives me a grateful smile.

I want to protect her, I want to do whatever I can for her but I'm not sure how.

I don't know if Carla is playing a game, from what Ana has told me it wouldn't be the first time she's hustled someone.

But her daughter? Would she stoop even lower than what she already has?

As soon as we reach the car. We both climb in and I start to make our drive home.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure…" She says honestly.

"It's okay for you to be pissed off you know?" I smile sadly.

"I am, I am so annoyed…angry…but now I feel like I can't be because...I don't know how I'm supposed to trust her…either of them. But now.. cancer? i feel guilty for being annoyed with her... " She looks away in defeat. At least she's talking and not bottling it all up.

"That's understandable"

She sighs and gazes out of the window for the rest of the journey.

As soon as we arrive home we make our way up to the apartment and I take her by the waist pulling her into my body.

Her arms snaking around my neck gazing up at me with her worrying and overthinking eyes.

"Do you think I'm being irrational?"

"Not at all...I think you have every right to be angry"

She nods and her fingers gently graze at the back of my neck.

"Try not to think too much into it, let's enjoy tonight…Maybe me you and Teddy can head out for dinner?"

"I'd like that, thank you"

"Perfect" I peck her lips smiling.

"My treat though no arguments" She smirks and I'm glad after everything I can still make her smile and enjoy herself despite all the fuck up shit she has going on.

"Stubborn" I smirk teasing her.

She giggles leaning up and kisses me softly.

Softly turns into deeply, deeply turns into passionately and the next thing I know she's slowly slipping her hands under my shirt and lifting it over my head.

I smirk against her lips as I back her towards my bedroom.

She throws my shirt onto the sofa then trails her hands up my torso, then around my neck.

I cup her cheeks now, kissing her with everything I have. I want her, I need her and she needs the same from me. It's been a hard week and I want to make her feel good.

I want her to relax and forget all her worries.

As my tongue fights and dominates against hers I hear her soft moans escape her lips and I'm done.

I lift her by her thighs and I hold her against the wall as I start to devour her neck. Nipping, sucking, kissing at her skin.

Her hand and fingers running through my hair and I can feel my dick twitching.

I have to pick Teddy up in an hour and a half and that's plenty of time to show her how much I love her and her body.

"Yes…." She whispers against my ear lifting my face to meet hers. Her eyes are blaring into mine, heat, and fire replacing them.

She's already starting to get a little breathless just from my kisses. The way she reacts to me is wonderful.

But I look at her… I really look at her. Gazing deep into the fire and lust in her eyes.

"I will move in with you"

"What?" My lips start t grow into the biggest smile.

"If you'll still have me?"

"Fuck Ana… yes" I grin impishly and I crash my lips to hers proudly.

She's moving in.

She's fucking moving in with me.

I have to tell her about the house viewing but I think I'll keep that for another time.

Right now, I have enough time to make love to her.

Make love to the woman I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

Just wait until we tell Teddy, he's going to be ecstatic

I can feel her smiling against my lips and she can probably feel my grin against hers too.

She's made me so happy and I hope I do the same for her.

"I love you" She whispers.

"I love you too"

Smirking, I drop her down onto my bed making her bounce slightly and she laughs grinning up at me.

This, right now, This is everything.

I undress her quickly, pulling her jeans and panties down at the same time. Kissing along every part of new skin that lays bare before me.

Removing my jeans and boxers, her eyes ignite me. Biting her lip.

Fuck, the way she bites that lip of hers makes me hard just watching her.

I can't wait to hear her moan my name again.

I dip my head between her thighs running my tongue along her folds making her wriggle and writhe and grip the bed sheets tightly at her sides.

When I feel her body start to shake I make my kisses back up her body. Her breathing more erratic and excited now. She smiles and her eyes are glistening dreamily like she's in a state of euphoria.

I do that to her.

I grin even more before gently pressing my lips against hers.

She's so much braver, so much more confident now.

Her hand slips lower but she looks up at me as her hand rests near my pulsing length.

"Sh-Show me what to do…." She pants softly.

"Are you sure?"

She nods and leans up kissing me softly answering my question.

"Just do what you think is right okay?"

I take her hand and I wrap it around me. I hiss at the contact and I guide her soft and delicate hand up and down.

After a few pumps, I drop my hand and lets her do it on her own.

Fuck it feels so good.

I hiss and clench my teeth together, dipping down and kissing along her neck, her jaw. She squeezes me and I jerk against her.

Fuck me.

I need to be inside of her.

I reach over to my bedside table which I have recently stocked with condoms since the first time we did this in the hope there'll be even more chances for our bodies to unite.

I rip it open eagerly with my teeth.

"You sure?"

"You don't need to ask me anymore….I'm always sure with you" She whispers against my lips as she kisses me again.

Rolling on the condom, I sink into her feeling the familiar warmth wrap around me.

The shit happening outside of this room right now is forgotten about just for this moment.

Letting her mind relax and her body calm with pleasure instead of the negative and angry thoughts.

I rock against her. Our bodies connected most blissfully. Our breathing becoming in sync, our moans turning each other on even more and it's not long before we're both reaching our climax and I have the pleasure of hearing her moan my name once again.

Despite her father, Despite her mother, right now, this moment is perfect.

She's agreed to move in, I made love to her again and I have her in my arms.

Tomorrow is a new day and we can tackle the world again then.

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	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39…

I said yes.

He asked me to move in with him and I said yes. Every time I stay here I feel full, I feel whole, I feel like nothing is missing anymore.

I feel like I know where I am and who I am and he makes me be the person I want to be.

Confident, Happy, myself.

When that email came through requesting me at SIP next Friday at 4 pm I couldn't believe my luck.

I truly believed that everything was finally falling into place for me.

But then, there's my Mom and Dad.

That situation I'm struggling with and I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle it.

Dad has been lying to me, my mother abandoned me and I've barely spoken to her since. Until now.

I was mad, angry and annoyed but after the revelation of the true reason why she's here and why there have been secrets, it's made me feel somewhat guilty.

Was I allowed to feel so angry given the circumstances?

Should I still feel angry?

Right now I feel numb towards the situation and I had to leave there. I just had to get out, get some air and take my mind off of things.

Cancer.

My Mom has cancer and suddenly my anger is replaced by worry.

Not that she was worried for me in the last couple of years since she left for Georgia but I am not her. I am not her and I do not treat people the way she does, I wanted to be anything but her. I Never want to hurt anyone, I never want to make anyone feel the way she made me feel.

She's still my Mom and regardless of everything I do still love her and I always will.

Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and forgive. Maybe not forget, but forgiveness is a great deal.

The thoughts spiraling through my brain over and over and over again.

My life is heading in the right direction, I have Christian and Theodore, I have a new place to move in to, I have a job interview lined up and regardless of that, I have a good job at the school.

A year ago I never would have imagined having all of that, not with how lost I was. But now…now it's all changed.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll go back to the hospital and hear them out once and for all.

It's only natural to be suspicious after everything she has done to me. The number of times she's lied in the past, of course, I'm going to suspicious.

I'll listen to them.

More so my Dad because he is everything to me and he has been there when no one else has. If I don't trust her, I know I can trust him.

Yes, he lied to me but he's already admitted that it was under her influence.

Am I an idiot?

Am I stupid for thinking of all of this?

Should I just forget about them and move on with Christian?

But they're my parents, I'd feel so guilty. I don't think I could ever not have them in my life in some roundabout way.

Especially my Dad.

So tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'll figure it out. I'll talk to them. I'll tell them I'm moving in with Christian regardless.

And then, I'll go from there.

I honestly just want them to be happy. I want my Dad to be happy.

There hasn't been another woman since my Mom for him, it has just been the two of us.

And I know it's because the love he had for my Mom could never be replaced. Unfortunately, she ruined that. She was never content.

Maybe she has changed?

Maybe, just maybe.

"I have to go and get Teddy" He whispers against my ear, my smile growing when his voice pulls me from the vortex that is my mind.

Our naked bodies still pressed closed against each other. Glistening with after sex.

His hand gently stroking the bottom of my black as we lay on his bed cuddling and letting our bodies relax and come down from the high of our lovemaking.

It's the second time now and I honestly can say it's my new favorite hobby.

The way his body rocks against mine, the way he makes my body react to him. The way he moans and hisses against my ear and into the skin on my neck and shoulder.

I bite my lip smiling and I gaze up at him.

"Okay…do you mind if I take a shower before we head out for food?"

His hand gently cups my cheek and he gazes deep into my eyes. The love emitting from them is incredible. I have never had anyone look at me the way he does and it sends shivers through my entire body. It's such an incredible feeling to have someone love you.

"This is your home now remember? You don't have to ask" He presses his lips to mine and I giggle softly as his hands grab my waist and he rolls onto his back lifting me to straddle his torso. I bite my lip blushing.

I feel so bare in front of him but he makes me feel wonderful. For the first time, I'm straddling his waist and he grins leaning up kissing me again.

My hands smoothing up his arms feeling every inch of every muscle as my hands move up and around his neck. His hands trailing down my waist.

I smirk against his expert lips and whispers, "Teddy".

"I'm going…I'm going…" He grins right back as I climb off his lap and he starts to get dressed.

With a swift kiss to my lips and a rush out the door, he's gone and I find myself gazing around the bedroom.

Our bedroom now.

I still can't believe it.

My heart is beating with such excitement, such content. It feels wonderful.

I make my way into the bathroom and underneath the warm cascading water. My mind sill overflowing with thoughts.

Once I'm done, I make my way out and get dress.

I didn't bring any clothes with me so I'll have to grab some to bring over here at some point.

Maybe I could quickly rush over to my place to grab some things right now before he comes home with Theodore.

_'Hey, I'm heading to my place to grab some clothes. I just realized I have nothing here to change into. I'll come right back and we can head for food :) See you soon!' _

Changing into the same clothes I wore earlier, I make my way down to my car and I head home.

My old home now I guess.

When I walk inside I'm a little overwhelmed.

True to her word there are gifts there.

Gifts covering the sofa, a happy birthday balloon beside them.

She was telling the truth thus far.

I can feel the tears start to form in my eyes.

Tomorrow.

I'll deal with this tomorrow.

I rush upstairs packing a few bits and pieces and then making my way back to the apartment.

Two of the security guards stood outside of the elevator signaling that Christian has returned with Theodore.

I'm excited to see them. I wonder if he's told Theodore yet.

One of the security guards smiles as he presses in the number, letting me inside and escorts me up.

"Ana!" Theodore squeals excitedly rushing over to me.

I giggle smiling and I leave my bag by the door ready to lift him into my arms.

"Hey handsome, how was school?"

"I misseded yous Ana…whens you coming back to schwol?"

"On Monday okay?" I smile brightly tickling his tummy, "I missed you too".

He squeals wriggling and giggling wrapping his arms around my neck, smiling when I stop my tickling assaults.

Christian chuckles watching us from the island in the kitchen before he walks over with a sippy cup full of juice for Theodore, a tea for me and a coffee for himself.

Theodore's smile grows when he notices my bag on the floor behind us.

"Is you staying towight?"

I giggle smiling, "Yeah is that okay?"

"Yeaaaaaah!" He says excitedly.

"Ana and I have something to tell you, buddy"

"Tells me wot?" He looks to Christian, then to me.

"Well… I asked Ana if she would like to come and live with us"

"And I said yes…but only if that's okay with you?"

I give him a small smile but his face is already brightening.

"Weally? For weals? You staying fowever?"

"Mhmm… only if you say yes too"

"Yesssssss yessssss yessssss!" He grins excitedly and Christian chuckles moving his arms around the both of us kissing Theodore's head and then mine.

My heart feels so full, at this moment right now.

I look up at Christian and he looks so happy, so carefree.

Through everything he has endured, through everything he has helped me with. He has come so far and I am so grateful for him.

How did I ever get so lucky?

"Cans I sweep in Daddy's and Ana's bed towight?"

Daddy and Ana's bed.

The way he says it makes my heart swell.

Is it our bed now?

It feels so strange.

He looks between us waiting for our answer.

Christian looks to me as if asking my permission more than his own.

I simply nod with a smile and I watch Christian's face grow ever so grateful for my answer.

I would never say no. Not to either of them.

I love them.

I love them with all of my heart.

Theodore giggles when I nod and he smiles brightly cuddling into me, his head resting on my shoulder.

He seems so happy and care free now. Christian watches us with such adoration it makes my heart melt.

"So your Daddy and I were thinking the 3 of us could head out for dinner tonight…why don't you pick where we go….Pick anywhere you like"

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere" I nod.

"Oh gosh, now you've done it" Christian smirks knowing exactly where Theodore is going to pick.

"IHOP! IHOP!"

I laugh, I should have seen that coming too.

"Buddy that's a breakfast place"

"But it's owpen all days!"

"He has a point" I smirk at Christian and he rolls his eyes laughing.

"IHOP it is" He chuckles again and kisses me softly making Theodore giggle at his actions.

I can feel the blush rising in my cheeks but he doesn't seem to mind.

He seems excited about the progress between us and even more excited about me moving in. I can't believe it.

I really can't believe it.

"Okay little monkey, let's get you in the bath and then we can go to IHOP okay?"

"Otays!" Theodore grins making me laugh even more. I put him down on his little feet and he runs off excitedly towards the bathroom.

Watching him go, Christian moves his hands to my waist smiling brightly down at me.

"Thank you," He says.

"I didn't do anything" I reply placing my hands on his shoulder.

"Trust me, you're doing more than you'll ever know. I love you" He dips his head down and kisses me softly which I willingly accept.

"I love you" I whisper against his lips as my reply.

"Daddy! come ons! Ihop waitings!"

We hear Theodore's little voice calling his Daddy to help him with his bath.

He's such a feisty little thing he's wonderful.

"IHOP is waiting Daddy" I grin teasingly making him chuckle even more before he leaves me and tends to Theodore.

I pick up my bag near the elevator and I make my way into his bedroom.

I mean our bedroom.

I get dressed into a simple plain navy dress and a pair of white pumps ready for Theodore's wonderful choice of dining.

I love IHOP myself.

I hear Theodore laughing and giggling.

I really do feel so comfortable and at home here.

I hope….I just hope everything works out.

As happy as I am right now at this moment, thanks to my mother I always have negative niggling thoughts.

But I trust Christian, I do.

But what if…

Just what if it doesn't work out?

What would I do then?

Where would I go?

Sitting on the kitchen island now trying to push my negative thoughts away as the little patter of little feet come running towards me.

"Ana!" He giggles and I smile brightly moving off the stool to lift him into my arms.

"Look at you all nice and clean…did you have a nice bath?"

"Yeah! I hads wots of Bubbles!"

I giggle remembering the bath Christian and I had that was also filled with lots of bubbles. I smile more remembering it.

"Lots of bubbles? Well you're a lucky boy" He giggles nodding and rests his little head onto my shoulder.

Christian emerges from the bedroom after changing his shirt and he walks over to us, kissing us both on the head.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah!" Theodore squeals excitedly.

I grin nodding, "Let's go get those pancakes" I tickle Theodore's tummy making him wriggle and laugh even more.

"Cans we go to the park too?" He looks between us. Christian looks to me and me, him.

"If you want to?" Christian smiles at me and I nod.

"Sounds good to me"

"Yaaayyyyy!"

"Shall we walk then?"

"Sure" I nod in agreement and we make our way down in the elevator, Taylor and Prescott following us close behind keeping their watch.

We make our way through the city.

Theodore holding both of our hands, and swinging between our bodies giggling.

He's so adorable.

Across the street a few people are staring at us and whispering, getting their phones and snapping a few pictures. I look to Christian and I can see the annoyance on his face until he turns to look at me.

Of course, with his business growing people will recognize him more.

People are going to take pictures of him.

Taylor and Prescott move either side of us as if trying to block us from the view of the cameras. His security really are amazing and they care for him so much. I think they're more like protective family to Christian now than just employees. The same with Gail.

He lifts Theodore as if trying to hide him from the pictures and he looks at me sympathetically.

"I'm sorry…this seems to be happening more and more lately…did you want to take the car?"

"I don't mind, whatever is more comfortable for you" I smile encouragingly.

"Are you sure you're okay with it?"

"As long as you are"

His smile grows and he gently takes my hand and lacing our fingers.

We continue to walk down the street and once we're out of view no one else seems to bother us.

Christian puts Theodore back between us and he smiles gazing up, looking at us. His smile bright, loving and happy.

Our dinner went swimmingly. Taylor and Prescott sat in a booth behind us. Theodore completely and utterly enjoying himself sitting beside me as he munches down his chocolate pancakes making me laugh.

Christian gazing at me across the table every so often, and me doing the same with him. Smiling and blushing.

Our hands touching every so often. Our feet brushing every now and again.

Once our dinner is over we make our way back to the apartment and we have an early night. With Theodore's earlier puppy dog eyes asking if he could stay with us made my heart melt and so we decide to all head to bed earlier.

Laying in bed, just the 3 of us.

Theodore smiling sleepily as he curls into my side. My arms moving around him and I smile gazing over at Christian who is laying on his side opposite me. His hand resting on my waist stroking small circles against my shirt.

"Is we a famiwey now?" Theodore asks as he starts to yawn. His words almost a whisper due to his sleepiness but I hear it. I hear every word.

Christian looks to me as if not knowing how to answer him.

But honestly? I don't either.

Are we a family now?

Is this it?

I smile gazing down at him and I gently stroke my hand through his hair.

"Would you like us to be a family?"

"Yeah...You stays wiv us now fowever and weal famiweys stay fowever" He nods more and nuzzles himself further into my chest making my heart swoon and melt with his cuteness.

Christian looks to me and his hand rises from my hip to my cheek as he strokes across my cheekbone.

I gaze deeply into his eyes. So light, so loving, so enticing.

"Yeah, that sounds like a family to me too," I say, replying to Theodore but keeping my deep gaze with Christian. Watching as his lips curl into a bigger smile.

"Yaayyyy" He smiles sleepily and only a few seconds later he's fast asleep curled into my embrace.

Christian leans up a little and kisses me softly, "I love you".

"I love you too"

I still can't believe this is my life now.

My life will never be the same again, my life with Christian and Theodore is just beginning.

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Sorry for the late update! There are more quick updates soon to come! Stay tuned!


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40…

I wake to a vibrating next to my head. Groaning and stirring as I reach for my phone on my bedside table, in an attempt to stop it's shaking assault to wake me up.

My eyes opening in annoyance.

It's only 6 am.

Why?

My alarm doesn't go off for another hour.

I'm agitated now.

Last night was the best night's sleep in my entire life and I didn't want it to end.

I look to my right and there they are. Both of them still fast asleep in my bed.

Teddy is curled into Ana's side and her arms are still around him.

They look so peaceful, so content, so…calm.

I never imagined finding a woman for Teddy and I. But now, I couldn't imagine my life without her.

I smile, simply watching them for a few seconds before my phone starts to vibrate once again.

Message after fucking message.

Email after fucking email.

I just want to lay here with them in peace.

I sigh.

I don't want to wake them so I make my leave from the bed and I head out into the living room.

"Mr. Grey? You're up early…" Gail chirps.

I adore having her here, but she's way too chirpy for 6 am.

"I have some emails I need to go through" I give her a small sleepy smile and she nods.

"Coffee?"

"That would be amazing, Thankyou Mrs. Jones".

"My pleasure Mr. Grey"

I sit at the island stool looking through my phone.

Two of them being from Taylor and for him to send things this early in the morning knowing Teddy and Ana are here, then it must be important.

One is titled 'Carla Adams'.

And another titled 'Urgent Media'.

Great.

The rest is work-related, requests for meetings and money, same as always.

Today is my day off and I'll deal with those another time.

Today is the house viewing and I want to focus on that.

But I can't ignore the ones from Taylor.

Firstly, I click on the media email. I'm redirected to a website.

Newspapers.

Magazines.

The Tv.

Everywhere.

Our faces are everywhere.

And a video.

A fucking video.

I click play and I turn the volume down to ensure I don't wake them.

_'Breaking News!_

_It seems Seattle's most eligible billionaire has been snatched up pretty quickly! Mr. Christian Grey, the heartthrob of Seattle has been caught on the streets of Seattle with the first-ever images of his son and a mysterious woman. The question everyone is asking? Who is this mysterious, young and beautiful woman he's been seen with? _

_The only thing we know right now is, he seems very very happy. Could wedding bells be ringing in the future? We can only hope! ' _

"Fuck" I run my hand through my hair as the video plays. Thank Fuck that they've had the decency to blur out Teddy's face. After all the court hearings, after everything. If they had put Teddy's face in the limelight, they'd all be bankrupt and out of a job within the hour. I'd have fucking killed them.

But Ana….how is Ana going to react to this?

Fuck.

What if this pushes her away?

It wouldn't, would it?

Maybe I can put something in place to stop the media? I'll look into it most definitely.

I'll have a meeting with Taylor and his security later to see what can be done.

Next, I click on the second of Taylor's messages.

'Carla Adams'

Attachment after attachment.

I know Ana was wary about her mother's intentions but after seeing all of this, she seems to be telling the truth.

Hospital receipt after hospital receipt.

Some signed by Ray and some by Carla.

Alcoholics anonymous sign-in sheets.

Hospital sign-in sheets.

Cancer results, positive.

Positive for breast cancer.

I sigh running my hand through my hair.

At least she's telling the truth.

I just. I'm not sure how Ana is going to react.

I'm not sure how Taylor got all of this information but he's done an amazing job as always.

I just hope Ana will be okay.

Pulling out my phone I click on Elliot's number and I text him.

_'Still on for today?' _

_'See you at 2 bro! Shall I meet you there or at yours?' _

_'Whatever is easiest for you' _

_'I'll come to yours, you can drive :) ' _

I chuckle. _'Fine, See you at 2' _

The next thing I know, I feel the familiar and delicate soft hands running along my shoulders with a sweet and gentle butterfly kiss to the back of my neck.

She's awake.

My lips turn into a grin as I feel her lips against my skin.

I reach for her hand, bringing her around in front of me and between my legs.

"Morning handsome" She whispers and the familiar twinge goes straight between my legs.

"Good Morning beautiful" She smiles as her arms move around my neck.

I lean forward kissing her lips softly.

"You're up early?" She smiles gently stroking the side of my cheek.

Fuck, I am. I know. It's still only 6.30.

Do I just tell her?

Fuck.

I hope she doesn't freak out.

"Yeah, I had some messages come through this morning I had to check out"

"Is everything okay?"

"That depends…"

"On what?"

"On you…."

I say worriedly. She looks at me curiously and I lift my phone pressing play against the media video.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think this would happen…I'm going to try and find a way to stop the media content against us"

She watches it intently, my heart racing looking for a reaction. I don't want her to go. I don't want to lose her because of this.

"Did you mean what you said? When you said you loved me?" She looks at me. She must see the worry in my eyes, fearing her walking out the door.

Fuck. What if she does leave?

I nod moving my hands to her waist pulling her a little closer so her body is flush against mine between my legs.

"I meant every word…"

"Then I guess I'd better get used to this.." She holds up my phone and gestures towards the video. "Are you okay about it though?" She bites her lip. Me? She's worried about me?

"I don't care who knows about us…I want you and only you. The only thing that pissed me off was the fact Teddy is in the shot but luckily for them they blurred his face. I'd have fucking killed them otherwise, especially after everything with Leila and Elena".

She nods in understanding and gently strokes the tops of my shoulders with a small smile.

"I don't care who knows about us either. I love you. You thought this might happen more often given how well your business is doing. We can be more careful with keeping Teddy hidden if we have to" She smiles encouragingly and she's right. I have to protect Teddy. "As for me, Yes it's daunting, but I'm okay with it if you are".

"I don't care who knows you're mine" I grin and I lean up kissing her again which she willingly reciprocates.

I pull her even closer if it was at all possible, gently running my tongue along her bottom lip as we deepen the kiss.

I can feel my body heating for her immediately.

The way I react to her is everything I ever dreamed of.

I feel her lips smile against mine as she pulls back gazing into my eyes.

"There's something else too…."

She looks at me curiously, "What is it?"

"Your Mom" She sighs and I can feel her body tense against me.

"What about her?"

"I know you've been worried about the situation and I just wanted to help so my security has her information from the last few months…I think she's telling the truth"

I can see the tears start to fork in her eyes as I open the attachments and scroll through them, more and more and more evidence.

"I…I don't…I don't know what I'm supposed to do" She looks at me like she's been defeated.

"You know deep down" I smile sadly at her and I gently stroke her sides soothingly.

She sighs, resting her forehead against my shoulder.

Moving my arms around her I just hold her. I hold her close to me, comforting, soothing, calming.

"I know you'll do the right thing" I whisper encouragingly and she nods.

"I'm going to see them today and maybe figure something out….I'll tell them about us too, if that's okay?"

"Of course" I smile more and she kisses me softly once again.

"Daddy! Ana!"

His little feet come bouncing towards us making us both laugh.

Ana lifts him and places him on her hip as he rubs his sleepy little eyes.

"Morning handsome" Ana smiles brightly at him.

I still can't believe how wonderful she is with him and how she has accepted him so willingly.

Both of us.

"Mornings Ana" He rests his little head onto her shoulder and she smiles brightly looking back towards me.

I chuckle ruffling his little hair. "How did you sleep, buddy?"

"Goods! I wiked Daddy and Ana cuddwles"

"You did huh?" I tickle his tummy making him wriggle in her arms.

He reaches for me and I willingly take him, kissing his cheek and holding him close to me. Ana watches us with such love in her eyes it's a little overwhelming. I'm getting used to this and I love every single moment with both of them. I love the way she looks at me with such care. The way she looks at my son with such adoration.

They're both my everything.

"Come on then little monkey let's get you fed and ready for school"

"Ana comings?"

"Not today sweetheart, but I'll be back on Monday okay? I have to go and see my Mommy and Daddy today"

"Wills I gets to see yous Mommy and Daddy Ana?"

Well…Fuck.

That never even crossed my mind.

How would they react to him?

How would they react to Ana being with us?

She loves you, Christian, fuck what they say anyway.

But now things are serious they will have to meet him sooner or later.

"Maybe one-day sweetheart okay?"

He nods smiling at her answer.

Thank fuck.

A while later we both say our Goodbyes to Ana as she heads to the hospital to be with her parents. I drive Teddy to school dropping him off.

He still hates going to school when Ana isn't there, but at least she'll always be there when he gets home now instead.

Besides, if she gets this new job then she won't be there for him. I'm dreading that conversation.

With a couple of hours to spare before I meet Elliot, I do make my way into work.

Calling a staff meeting to inform of them of the media situation, make sure they don't speak to any reporters and then Taylor and I come up with a security plan to try and keep this media to the bare minimum for Teddy's sake.

My Mom is picking Teddy today up which means I have all afternoon to look over this new house and make sure it's 100% the one I want.

I still have to tell her Ana is moving in but I think by the time I get to her this evening, Teddy would have already ratted us out.

After work, Elliot meets at the apartment and then we drive out into the countryside and down to the Lakehouse.

Making our way through the large black gates, up the long winding road towards the house.

The peace and quiet here is incredible.

The amount of open space, grass, and freedom is overwhelming.

Hearing the chirp and song of the birds, hearing the water ripple down in lake, hearing the wind swoop through the leaves.

So different from what I'm used to.

It's so peaceful.

Somewhere like this would be perfect for Teddy to grow up. Somewhere to start again. Somewhere to start a new life. Somewhere to start a family.

"Isn't this where Mom and Dad used to bring us on the boat?" Elliot points down towards the water.

"I knew it, as soon as I saw the picture of the lake I knew it was…"

"Yeah, you pushed me in the water" Elliot glares towards me teasingly. I know he's teasing but I remember that day too well.

I was angry because he kept chasing little Mia, so I pushed him. They were only playing but I didn't see it that way. Not after being chased through a house and having scolding hot cigarette burns melt through my skin.

During the days where I wouldn't speak to anyone.

During the days I wouldn't tell anyone what I was feeling or thinking.

I pushed him hard and he went straight into the water.

Luckily he knew how to swim but everyone was so mad with me. At the time I didn't care.

Their anger brought me silence. No one wanted to speak to me. No one would bother me.

Being angry used to work out in my favor because I enjoyed the silence it brought, but now…I fear it.

I fear that I may push Ana away.

I fear one day Teddy will hate me.

I fear one day my family will hate me when they know of all the things I've done.

"I'm sorry for being a Dick back then" I look to Elliot honestly.

"It's okay, we all went through a lot of shit. But look at you now needing my help" He smirks jokingly making me laugh.

"Touche"

The agent meets us outside and opens the door allowing us to go in.

"This place is incredible Christian, it has all the original beams, the layout…I'd maybe change a thing here or there and modernize it but it's, fuck, it's great bro"

"Will you help me change it up?"

"Anything for my little brother" He taps my shoulder and he heads around the house like a school kid in a playground.

Going into the construction world and his passion for it, I knew he'd be the best person to bring with me.

"Bro, there's like 6 bedrooms…are you planning on moving the whole family up here? There's more than enough room for you and the little squirt"

I chuckle hearing him but I bite my lip.

I can tell him, right?

But then he'd probably tell Kate and I wonder if Ana would want to tell her first?

Fuck it.

He's my brother.

"Actually…I asked Ana to move in with me…she doesn't know about the house yet, I wanted to keep it a surprise but she agreed to the apartment and I figured, it could be a new start for the both of us?"

"What the fuck? Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?"

I roll my eyes punching his arm, "Fuck off".

We both laugh, despite everything since I've changed since we've grown up we have grown so much closer.

"I'm happy for you bro….I really am"

"Thanks, Ell..."

I move to stand in the master bedroom window and I gaze out at the view.

The water glistening in the sunlight.

The wind blowing through the large trees, the grass, the flowers.

I can picture it now.

A picnic in the gardens with Teddy squealing and laughing running around without a care in the world.

Making as much noise as he pleases, no worry about the media, no worries about the rest of the world.

Ana and I sitting in the grass watching him run around giggling.

Just the 3 of us.

I remember this place so clearly. Being on the boat, feeling the wind whip through my hair. Watching the water ripple and flow around the boat as we cascaded through the glistening blue waters.

The first place I think I ever smiled. The first place I smiled after being adopted.

And now, it's the very same place my life might finally begin. The place where I can smile again.

The place where I can be carefree with my family.

I wonder if Teddy will like it?

I wonder if Ana would like it?

"It's a really nice place for the little squirt..the garden is huge. He'd love it here" Elliot says as he moves beside me and my smile grows as I agree with him.

"So…you and Ana got pretty serious huh?"

"She's the one Ell…

"I know the feeling" He sighs, "I never thought I'd feel the way I do about Kate…"

I squeeze his shoulder in understanding.

Both of us forever believing we would forever be alone. Me being so fucked up and him never being content with one woman.

But look…

Look at us now.

"Do you think you'd uhh... you know...ask her the question?"

"one day, I hope so..."

"She'd say yes, I've seen how she looks at you."

"and the way Kate looks at you" we both grin at each other.

This is it. Tonight while Teddy is at my Mom's i'll bring Ana here.

I'll ask her again to move in with me but this time, not in the apartment. This time in this house.

A new start, a new place, a new adventure. With her.

I make my way back downstairs in search of the estate agent.

"I'll take it"

"Perfect…I'll get the paperwork ready"

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	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41…

I made my way into the hospital with worry and dread.

After the information Christian gave me, the proof my Mom was telling the truth, I now feel a churning and freight in the pit of my stomach.

As much as she put me through the worst times, she put negatives thoughts into my head because she couldn't be content with her own life, she abandoned me and my Dad…but regardless of all of that I would never wish something like this on her.

She's still my Mom and despite everything, I love her.

I love her.

I make my way through the corridors playing my fingers against each other as I grow closer to the room.

Finally arriving at the door I notice them through the window first.

She's sitting on the chair beside Dad's bed. His hand in hers.

She has tears rolling down her cheeks and I watch as he lifts his hand to her skin to wipe them away.

He loves her, he always has and he always will.

I sigh, I just don't want her to break his heart again. Or mine.

I'm not sure either of us would survive it again.

But I hope, I truly and deeply hope her intentions are true.

She leans closer to him and he kisses her softly. I watch them, just for a moment and my heart skips a beat. My own eyes filling with tears as I watch their exchange.

I love them both, despite everything I love them and I cannot leave here without working this out.

What if something had happened?

What if something does happen?

I would hate myself forever knowing they left this world believing I hated them. I just need to forgive them and give them my blessing in the hope that they can have a happy ending too.

I can forgive them, I know I can. It'll be hard to forget and I'll have to work on trusting her again.

But I can do this.

I have Teddy and Christian now. I have a new and wonderful life ahead of me.

The love I feel for everyone around me has my heart almost exploding, and yes even my Mom.

His hand gently strokes her cheek once again as she pulls away from him.

They exchange a few words which I can't hear but whatever it is, she nods in agreement with him.

His smile is soft and encouraging.

I have a feeling….I have a feeling they were talking about me.

Then, his eyes must sense my own as he looks up and towards the window.

Giving him a small and sympathetic he calls me in with a simple wave.

He's done so much for me, I need to do this for him. He loves her and he loves me. He needs thee both of us now.

I bite my lip, closing my eyes and taking the deepest breath.

Be brave Ana.

Stay calm and be brave.

I turn the handle and I make my way inside.

"Annie, my girl…you're here" My Dad smiles brightly when I enter the room and suddenly my anxiousness is lost to the air.

Making my way over to his bed I carefully and gently hug him which he willingly reciprocates.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better today… I can finally move a little again" He says as if he hasn't almost just died only a few days ago.

"How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay… yeah…I thought we could…talk?"

"I'll go…" My Mom stands from her seat nervously.

"No…please…I meant the 3 of us" I give her a small smile and she looks at me with such surprise and need.

I feel the pull.

I can feel the force pulling me closer to her and suddenly her arms are encircling my body and holding me in the motherly embraced I've longed for, for so many years.

I hear her sniffle as my own hands gently rest at her back and I can feel my tears prickling my eyes.

It's a little overwhelming.

"I'm so sorry…I'm so so sorry"

"It's okay….I…I forgive you"

"Y-You do?" She pulls back and her expression is as if she's seen a ghost.

I nod answering her words.

"I need some time, it was a lot for me to take in and think about…" She moves back to her chair and I move to mine.

"Take all the time you need sweetheart… we just don't want to lose you" My Dad takes my hand and I can feel the tears well even more and I feel the wetness trickle down my cheeks.

"I've been hurt by it for too long and I can only free myself if I forgive you…I can't keep blaming you, my life…my life is better now. I might not be able to forget or change the past but I can forgive the events that happened."

"My darling girl…" I look to my Mom and she has tears flowing. "I promise I am here to make amends…I am here for you and your father now…the 3 of us, just like it was before. I am so so sorry for everything"

I simply nod and I quickly wipe my tears away and I look to my Dad who also has his tears threatening to emerge.

"We love you, Annie"

"I know…" I smile.

"What made you come back?" She asks and I look to her.

"I went home…and I saw the gifts. You were telling the truth about that, I was weary I must admit. But Christian helped me see things differently".

I won't tell her that he has all of her information, I am grateful for his findings because they eased my worrying mind. She just needs to know I believe her and that is that.

"He seems wonderful sweetheart, he really does"

"He is" I smile in agreement. "Have they said when you can go home?" I look at my Dad.

"With the promise of bed rest, I can hopefully leave tomorrow…"

"That's amazing Dad…I'm glad"

"Will you be there?" He asks as if he already knows something is up.

I bite my lip.

I hope he won't be too disappointed.

"Christian asked me to move in with him…and…"

"You said yes" He looks at me.

I fear it would be with sadness or disappointment but instead, I'm surprised when I see pride and love in his eyes.

"Oh my girl, I'm so happy for you"

"I'll stay with you until you're back on your feet and I can help you both… and…"

"Annie…Annie…slow down…"

I didn't realize I was rushing my words with worry. I didn't want them to think I was abandoning them.

"We'll be fine sweetheart…As much as I want to keep you close forever, you have to go off and live your life…that's what your Mom and I were talking about before you came"

"About what?" I look at them both sympathetically. "But you…you're hurt…and Mom you…"

"I have cancer, yes, but I'm here and I'm well for now…yes I'll need treatment but your Dad and I can take care of each other now…I'm back and I promise I'm not leaving again. Not willingly anyway. Not this time. Your Dad had a feeling you and Christian would get serious…and honestly after seeing the way he looks at you? I agreed….I'm so happy you've found your knight in shining armor Ana. They do exist and you've found yours….and I've come back to mine" She takes my Dad's hand tightly.

My heart hurts. I can feel it almost bleeding with sympathy watching her with my Dad now. If only she could have seen that all those years ago. But at least now, now she's here.

But….

_Not willingly anyway. Not this time_

_Not willingly anyway. Not this time_

_Not willingly anyway. Not this time_

_Not willingly anyway. Not this time_

Does she mean?

No, she couldn't…

She isn't…

"Wh-What…wait…a-are…are you…"

"I'm not going anywhere yet...I'm fighting for you and your Dad…besides, I'm not going anywhere until I've seen my beautiful, brave little girl walk down the aisle"

She reaches over and takes my hand.

I'm overwhelmed.

Fully overwhelmed by the number of emotions spiraling and circling through my veins right now.

"Oh, Mom…"

The three of us now, sat here sniffling and blubbering.

I feel like such a mess.

But also, I feel free.

Forgiving my Mom was like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

Suddenly, despite the situations, I feel complete.

I no longer have a void in my life.

I have everything I've ever wanted and everything I've ever dreamed of.

Another couple of hours pass by. We end up reminiscing the past, the good times only.

They ask me about Christian and I tell them he's the one.

I tell them about little Theodore but I don't go into detail about his or Christian's past. That can be kept for another day.

"Are you sure you two will be okay?" I look at them, I can't help but feel useless for them both now i'll be moving out.

"We promise we'll be okay"

"We will" My Dad agrees with her.

"I can take care of your Dad until he's back on his feet and when the time comes…"

"I'll take care of your Mom…" They both smile at me.

I can feel the love emitting. It's an odd feeling, but I feel like the small child again. The small child I was when they first got together.

The same love I witnessed then is the same love I am witnessing now.

I'm glad her intentions are true.

"If there's anything though okay? anything either of you need, or want, please call me anytime. I want to help, both of you" I look at them sadly and they both nod agreeing and promising.

_'Hey, let me know when you're free…I have a surprise for you. C x' _

My smile grows as I see the text pop up onto my screen.

"Is that him?" My Mom smirks knowingly and I nod.

"Yeah…he has a surprise"

"A surprise" She winks at Dad and they both laugh.

"Will we see you tomorrow?"

"Of course...how about I come over and I make dinner for us all? It'll be nice since you'll finally be home too"

"And you can open your gifts… call it a belated birthday surprise"

"Sounds perfect" I smile and I stand carefully hugging my Dad and he whispers into my ear, "Thank you for giving her another chance…she needed it" I simply nod and I kiss his head acknowledging his words.

"I love you Dad, take care" I whisper back to him with a small smile.

Then surprisingly my Mom hugs me again.

It's still overwhelming. But I'll get used to it.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow" My Dad smiles brightly.

"I'll come here in the morning and help you get home"

"No No…you enjoy your morning with Christian, we'll be fine I promise, just make sure you're home for Dinner and it will be perfect" He squeezes my hand and I nod smiling as I leave the room. Taking one more glance through the window as my Mom's tears start to flow once again but she's smiling.

She seems a little overwhelmed herself. She kisses my Dad and I watch as he coaxes her to lay beside him which she willingly accepts.

His arms carefully moving around her as she curls into his side.

It reminds me a little of the way I normally sleep with Christian.

My heart melts at the sight of them together.

Forgiving her was the best decision for all of us.

It'll take time to fully trust her, but I'll get there. I just know it.

_'I'm just leaving the hospital now, shall I meet you somewhere?'_

_'The apartment, I'll be there in 10 x' _

What is he up to?

I smile making my way back to the apartment, Prescott letting me into the elevator and I head up into the apartment waiting for him in the kitchen. Grateful for the cup of tea between my hands Mrs. Jones willingly made for me.

"There you are" I hear his voice just as I'm taking another sip of my tea.

Hearing his voice sends a shiver through my body and I smile brightly turning to face him.

"Hey…how was your day?"

"It's been…successful" He grins and I look at him curiously.

"What have you been up to?" I tease him as he leans down kissing me softly.

"You'll see…"

He seems somewhat excited making me giggle.

"How was the hospital?" His hands move to my waist and I sigh smiling moving my hands to the top of his arms.

"It was….emotional…we cleared the air somewhat. I told them you asked me to move in with you and that I said yes… I said I'd stay with them both until they're back on their feet but they were adamant they can manage on their own….Dad is coming home tomorrow and I'm going to go there for dinner, you don't have to come but you and Teddy could…."

"We'll come" He smiles and pecks my lips.

"Really?"

"Yeah…really" He smiles softly, "But right now, I have a surprise"

"Okay" I giggle as he lifts me from the stool and puts me down onto my feet.

Within the hour we're in the car and making our way through two large black gates.

Looking curiously out of the window.

"Wh-Where are we?"

He grins and climbs out of the car. I follow his lead by climbing out and he's soon at my side.

"So…I know I've already asked you once…but I need to ask you again because circumstances have changed"

"Christian? What's going on?"

I feel a little worried. Is he changing his mind?

I feel so confused.

My eyes look around and there's a beautiful house surrounded by acres of luscious green grass, trees and flowers.

I hear the rippling of water coming from my left and I turn seeing the huge lake at the bottom of the acres of land.

"Will you move in with Teddy and me?"

"I already….wait…" I move my gaze back to him and he's standing there with watching, worried eyes.

Is this…

Did he…

"Is this…."

"it's ours if you'll say yes…"

Tears prick my eyes and I look up at him with such awe. Such love. Such adoration.

My heart is pounding deep in my chest, melting and thawing out.

This man is incredible.

"R-Really? You're serious?"

"I wanted a new place where Teddy could play and enjoy himself…I wanted a house with gardens…I wanted a place where we could all be together, carefree, happy…Just us."

He holds up the key.

It really is his.

"Christian…I….I don't know what to say…I'm speechless"

"Say yes…." His eyes gaze down to my lips and them back up into my eyes. His piercing grey staring deep and needing into my soul.

Whatever or whoever brought us together, I will forever be grateful.

My life before him was dull, painful and full of feeling lost.

Now, after meeting him, I feel free, I feel happy and I never, ever want to let this feeling go.

"Yes….yes…yes…yes…."

His hands move to my waist and he lifts me spinning me around making me squeal and giggle. My arms moving around his neck as he chuckles too.

"I love you" I cup his cheeks kissing him deeply, needlessly, lovingly.

"And I love you…." He smiles against my lips.

Peck, Peck and another peck against my lips, he puts me down onto my feet and we make our way inside.

It is stunning. The old fashioned styled beams, the fireplace, the winding staircase. It is beautiful.

He shows me into the kitchen and I'm in awe. I could imagine us having dinner in here together every evening.

"With Christmas coming up…I thought the Christmas tree could go in the corner there" He points over to the corner of the room near the fireplace and I can feel my eyes welling up again.

He's thinking of Christmas.

I can't, I can't believe it. I feel so overwhelmingly happy.

"How long have you been hiding this?"

"I found it a few days ago….I used to come here when my Mom and Dad first adopted me. It was the first place that made me feel…feel anything really. I didn't feel numb…it was the first place I remember feeling free. When I came here to view it this morning, I had the same feeling and I just knew…this is where I want to be. And I want it with you"

I look at him and I am completely and utterly overwhelmed. I run into his arms and he lifts me up onto the kitchen countertop, moving to stand between my legs.

"I brought Elliot with me and he's agreed to help sort the place out…we can have whatever we want"

"It's perfect….I don't want anything else, I just want you…." I cup his cheeks and I kiss him deeply.

Pouring my everything into this kiss reassuring him that I love him with my whole heart.

Our kisses become heated, more desperate. Are we really about to start Christening the house so soon?

I am definitely not complaining. I love feeling him. I love feeling his kisses. His skin. His touch. His body against mine.

This is adventurous for me though, right here, right now. It's different but I don't feel shy with him anymore, he makes me feel confident and brave and loved.

His hands moving up my outer thighs grazing his fingertips along my skin.

I'm glad I decided to wear a dress today.

I start to move my kisses along his jaw as I reach between us lifting his shirt over his head.

He raises his arms letting me remove it and he gazes deep into my eyes. The grey in them full of lust and love, want and need, matching my own.

His body grinds against my core when he leans in running his tongue along my bottom lip, taking it between his teeth and then releasing it. I can feel the familiar pooling between my legs as I wrap then around his waist pulling him even closer to me.

"Fuck…Ana…" He groans.

His kisses move along my shoulder, down to my collar bone and along the straps of my dress before my hands move to his button and zipper gently taking his length into my hand making him hiss against my skin.

I continue to move my hand up and down, feeling him grow harder and harder.

My heart rate pulsing through my entire body. My breathing quickening as he continues to devour my skin in kisses.

"Christian…." I moan feeling his fingers brush over my panties.

My head tilting to the side as he nips, sucks and kisses at the pulse point on my neck.

My breathing is rapid now and my body is fully worked up.

My hand still stroking his length relishing in the sound of his hisses and moans against my skin.

His hands move to my behind and he lifts me, slightly smirking as he pulls me to the edge of the counter.

I can feel his length pressed against my core now and I gaze down into his eyes as he fumbles into his pockets.

"Fuck…Fuck…" He groans in frustration, "I don't…Fuck"

"What is it?"

"I don't have a condom"

My body is writhing with want and need.

Our breathing is rapid as we gaze at each other not knowing what to do. He rests his forehead against mine.

"Fuck…I wanted to…"

"Me too…," I whisper as I run my hand through his hair.

Could we…

Maybe…

Would it be too daring?

His arms move around me as we just seem to hold each other trying to calm the excitement in our bodies, but…it doesn't work.

"I could….we could…I could go so far and then…"

What is he saying?

"And then what…."

"I can pull out before I…".

I'm in a euphoric state of needing him and I can't think straight.

I just nod and then nod again.

I had the thought too and it's like he read my mind. Yes it's completely reckless, but right now? All thought is thrown to the wind. We just want each other.

He moves my panties to the side and he slips Into me. With a moan against my shoulder it turns me on instantly. I can feel the pressure building within me already.

Oh my gosh.

His hands are at my waist, his forehead is resting against my shoulder.

"Fuck Ana…you feel….fuck…"

It does feel different. It feels so different.

No condom makes me feel him more, I feel his skin, his pulse. Nothing between us now. Nothing at all.

"Fuck, you feel amazing"

For someone with so much experience in comparison to me, I cherish every moment we have a first together.

Another first for me, this way on the countertop.

He moves in and out of me while kissing me, holding me, touching me. Everything he can.

Our moans and breathing start to come in unison.

It feels wonderful, it's amazing, it's everything we wanted.

"Fuck…." He groans and he pulls out of me quickly, using his hand to finish off. Then he moves kissing me, his fingers at work at my core making me reach my climax too.

My body shakes at his fingertips, my mouth forming a sweet 'O' as I reach my high, panting hard against his shoulder.

"I love you"

He grins kissing the top of my head. "You and Teddy are everything to me".

Getting redressed, cleaning up and looking a little more presentable after our surprise countertop event, we walk around the gardens, head down to the dock and gaze out towards the water. Hand in hand, lacing our fingers together.

He is everything.

My Mom is right, for once she was right. He is my knight in shining armor and I'm never letting him go.

"We'd better head back and pick Teddy up" His arm around my shoulder as he kisses the top of my head.

"Does he know about the house yet?"

"Not yet…I thought we could surprise him together"

"Perfect" I smile more and I peck his lips before we make our way back to the car.

Driving hand in hand back to his parents' house.

A new house.

I still can't believe it.

I can't believe he wants to share it with me.

As we pull up outside of the house, there's an unfamiliar car in the driveway too.

Grace's car is familiar, Mia's car is familiar, Elliot's isn't here.

"Did Elliot get a new car?"

"Not that I know of…" His brows furrow into a curious frown.

We make our way up the steps and that's when we hear it.

The familiar voice that makes my blood curdle.

Oh No…..

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A little bit of a longer chapter for you guys today, I hope that's okay! Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews I've received so far, they're all keeping me motivated!


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 41…

What the FUCK!

What the actual FUCK!

This is not happening!

She is not in this damned house while my son is in there!

I am fucking livid.

No, I'm beyond fucking livid!

As soon as I hear her voice my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach making it churn angrily. I let go of Ana's hand as my fists clench hard together.

So hard my knuckles are turning white.

This is not fucking happening.

I storm into the living room and Teddy is sitting on my Mom's lap. Which is fine.

What's not fucking fine is the fact Elena is sat right next to them.

"Aren't you the most handsome little thing".

My fury blares. The anger rippling through my bloody veins.

I am mad, I'm beyond fucking mad.

I feel as if my head will explode with the anger erupting through my entire being.

I can hear Ana's feet attempting to keep up with me as I bolt as quickly as I can through the house.

"Get the fuck away from my son!"

"Christian…" My Mom looks up smiling until she sees the fire blasting through my eyes, "Christian? What…what's wrong?"

Ana appears at my side and her own eyes are wide as Elena turns looking at both of us standing in the doorway.

"Christian…Ana…how lovely to see you again" She hisses.

Poisonous fucking bitch!

"Teddy, go to Ana right now"

"D-Daddy?"

"TEDDY NOW!"

I didn't mean to yell at him, I really didn't but I need to. I need to get him away from that viper as soon as possible.

The tears start to fill his eyes when I yell at him and my heart hurts seeing him cry but it's for the best. I'll explain as best as I can later.

My Mom puts him down onto the floor and he runs into Ana's arms as soon as he sees her.

She lifts him and holds him close, gently rocking him as he hides his face into her neck sniffling.

Fuck, he's crying.

I'm sorry buddy, I'm sorry.

I had to. It's not your fault.

It's hers. That fucking snake.

Or is it?

Or is it my own?

Maybe it is my own for allowing her into my life in the way that I did.

Maybe it's all my fault!

Fuck!

Regardless, I told her to stay away.

I warned her!

I fucking warned her of the consequences!

Why the fuck is she here.

"I'll take him to the car," Ana says quietly.

I'm so grateful she's here at my side.

I have to protect him.

I have to protect Ana.

I have to protect myself.

I nod at her words and I watch as she leaves for the car.

"Christian, my darling…what's happened? What's wrong?"

My nostrils flaring and my eyebrows furrowing madly as I look at her.

My hand connecting with the wall in such anger it shakes.

Fuck.

I haven't felt that adrenaline in such a long long time.

I haven't felt this anger in such a long time.

"Christian!" Mom quickly rushes to my aid after my knuckles connect with the bricks. "What is wrong Christian?!"

"I'll tell you everything when she's not here…I don't want Teddy near her. EVER!"

I look towards Elena, my fury growing.

Seeing Teddy so close to her, my anger and worry grew to the point of no return. If he wasn't here I wouldn't have made so much of a scene, I would have turned around and left...but seeing her with him triggered something within. Something deep inside of me.

It makes my blood curdle.

_Aren't you the most handsome little thing_

_Aren't you the most handsome little thing_

_Aren't you the most handsome little thing_

_Aren't you the most handsome little thing_

_Aren't you the most handsome little thing_

The words she said to him making me sick to the pit of my stomach.

Similar words to the ones she once spoke to me.

It is not okay.

Not any more.

I'm done.

I'm so fucking done!

"Christian….Christian!" My Mom calls after me as I turn quickly on my heels and I rush back to the car.

Fuck.

I made Teddy cry, I didn't mean to.

Fuck.

"Christian!" My Mom chases after me.

"Not now Mom…not now!" I say angrily.

The familiar feeling of my past rushing through my veins.

I haven't missed it.

I haven't missed the anger one bit.

Thanks to Ana and Teddy, I haven't felt anger like this in such a long time…

But now…Fuck. Now she's ruined it all.

I walk out making my way towards the car and Ana is in the front seat with Teddy curled into her arms.

She's soothing him, stroking his back, his hair, his cheek... and when I climb into the car he nuzzles further into her neck.

I close the door behind me and I look at him. Then I look to Ana who has a sympathetic look in her eye.

What the fuck have I done?

Why did I fucking yell at him?

I can see my Mom making her way towards the car but I simply drive away.

I can't deal with it right now. I just want to go home and make Teddy love me again.

He probably fucking hates me!

I would hate me too!

Fuck.

Ana keeps Teddy close as I drive back to the apartment.

"Teddy?" I say calmly but he doesn't answer.

I look to Ana pleading for help.

My heart is pounding so fast.

"Teddy sweetheart?" She coo's him stroking through his hair.

Come on Buddy, Daddy is so so sorry.

Please, Please don't hate me.

I pull up outside of the apartment, climbing out of the car, I rush around to Ana's door and I kneel beside them.

He curls further into her wiping his eyes.

"Teddy…buddy…. I'm so sorry I yelled at you"

He peeks his head up and looks up to Ana, she smiles down at him and gently strokes his little cheek.

"I think Daddy needs a cuddle from his little Teddy bear" She whispers to him and he turns his face towards me.

Just looking at me as he sniffles again.

"I wasn't mad with you, I promise…I'm so sorry I yelled…please can you forgive Daddy?"

"Wh-Whys you yell?"

I look up to Ana and then back to him sighing. She takes my hand encouragingly.

Thank fuck she's here.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

How the fuck am I supposed to explain this to him?

Ana squeezes my hand and I sigh looking at him.

I reach my hand towards him and I gently stroke his cheek, leaning forward and kissing his forehead.

"I love you Teddy and I just wanted to make sure you were safe…Daddy got angry with the lady that was sitting with you. She hurt Daddy a long time ago and I didn't want her to hurt you…I was worried and so I shouted because I wanted to get you away from her as quick as I could in case she hurt you….I'm so sorry I frightened you"

He sniffles again.

"Whys she huwted Daddy?"

"Because Daddy was sad a long time ago…and she made Daddy even sadder"

"Is Daddy happy nows?"

"Yeah, Daddy is happy now, because I have you and you're safe and you're here with me and Ana. I love you so so much Theodore"

I look up and Ana has tears in her eyes from my words. I'm trying my best to make him understand.

"Wuvs you too Daddy"

He reaches for me and I take him quickly into my arms. His little hands move around my neck and he nuzzles into me.

I bury my face into his hair closing my eyes. Taking his warmth, his scent, his everything.

I feel fucking awful for yelling at him but he's safe and In my arms now.

"Ana makes Daddy happy too?" He pulls back out of my neck and smiles up at me then to Ana.

"Yeah…Ana makes Daddy happy too"

"Dids da mean wady huwted Ana?"

Ana shakes her head and gently strokes his little cheek.

"No sweetheart, she didn't but she hurt Daddy and we just wanted to keep you safe that's why I brought you back to the car"

She is amazing.

He nods understanding as best as he can and he rests his head back onto my shoulder, "Cans I sweep wiv Daddy and Ana gains?"

I look up at Ana, and she smiles with a small nod.

I am overwhelmed by her. I really am.

"Yeah buddy, you can sleep with us" I kiss his head smiling as I stand keeping him close to me. I offer my free hand to Ana which she willingly takes as we make our way up to the apartment.

"I love you Teddy" I whisper to him once more making sure he knows.

He looks up at me with his smile that looks just like mine and he puckers his lips waiting for my kiss. "Wuvs you Daddy".

Ana squeezes my hand smiling in awe watching and listening as she rests her head onto my shoulder.

"Did you have dinner at Grandma's sweetheart?"

"No, gwandma was coowking befores da mean wady came…"

"Hmm… how about I make something for us huh? You want to help me?"

"Cans I?"

"Yeah! What shall we make? I'll cook whatever you like"

"Sghetti!"

We both laugh at his excitement over the pasta.

"Spaghetti it is" She giggles smiling at him.

"Thank you" I whisper kissing the top of her head.

She nods acknowledging my words and the elevator doors open. "Okay little monkey, let's go and make dinner" Ana takes him into her arms and my phone starts to ring.

My Mom.

I sigh.

I fucked up, I know I did.

But now, I have no choice but to tell her everything.

I can't risk Elena being there when Teddy is there again.

I have to tell her.

I have to tell my Mom.

Pulling me from my thoughts Ana kisses my cheek and then Teddy follows suit giggling as he kisses my cheek too.

"I can watch him if you want to go…"

"Actually… could you maybe…come with me? I'll tell her I'll come by tomorrow morning?"

"Whatever you need, I'll be there" She smiles nodding and I lean down kissing her softly.

"I love you" I whisper against her lips and Teddy giggles.

"Daddy wuvs Ana!" He giggles more resting his head onto her shoulder.

"Ana loves Daddy too" She tickles his tummy making him laugh even more. "Come on cheeky monkey, let's get dinner ready"

"Yayyyy sghetti!"

She makes her way into the kitchen putting him to sit on the countertop as she starts to look for the ingredients.

Normally when I get home Gail would cook for us, but seeing Ana and Teddy together makes my heart melt and I think Gail deserves a night off. She's been amazing and I can't thank her enough.

I watch them, I watch them for a little while and I can't wait to move out of this apartment and into our new house.

I can't wait to take Teddy there.

I hear his giggle and I lean against the island as I continue to watch the interaction between her and my son.

I can imagine this being a regular thing. Seeing them in the kitchen of the new house working together.

"You ready?"

"Yeah!"

She hands him the pasta and together, they place it into the saucepan filled with water.

"You did it! Well done sweetheart, you're the best little helper ever"

He giggles smiling proudly as she places the saucepan onto the stove.

"Okay, you ready for the sauce?"

He nods excitedly and she opens the jar.

"I'll hold the bottom And you hold the top, okay?"

"Otays"

He follows her instructions and together they pour the sauce into the pan.

" Perfect" Ana smiled ruffling his hair making him giggle.

The love he has in his eyes for her is incredible.

I don't want to ever lose her, ever.

I wonder…

I wonder if I were to ask her a question what her answer would be?

Is it too early for that?

I know for sure I want her, but does she want me? And everything that comes with me.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when I feel her gaze and she's looking at me.

The love in her eyes is overwhelming.

I walk over to them both and I kiss her and then Teddy.

"I'm going to go and call my Mom"

"Okay" She kisses my cheek and I head into the bedroom leaving them to cook our dinner.

I pull out my phone dialing her number, but I smile when I hear Teddy's giggles coming from the kitchen.

"Christian darling…. there you are"

"Hey, Mom…I…"

"Are you okay? Is everything alright? I've been worried sick"

"I…well…I'm okay now, but I am sorry for earlier, I know I lashed out and I'm so sorry…I'll fix the wall tomorrow. I am so sorry"

"My darling boy I don't care about the wall, I just wanted to know if you're okay…"

"I will be…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually…yes, but can we do it tomorrow? I don't think this is a conversation to have over the phone. I'd like Ana to be there with me too"

"Has something happened? Is Teddy okay? Ana? Oh gosh Christian, are you okay?"

"We're all fine Mom, I promise. You'll understand more tomorrow okay? Try not to worry about it for tonight and we'll come around tomorrow morning"

"I'll always worry about you my darling boy, but I will see you tomorrow…would you come for breakfast?"

"Of course…we'll see you tomorrow"

"Okay sweetheart, see you tomorrow"

"Bye Mom"

I hang up sighing and running my hand through my hair.

I'm nervous as hell now.

How am I supposed to tell her what happened?

How am I supposed to tell her to keep Elena away from my son?

I can already see the disappointment and disgust in her eyes.

The disappointment is always the worst and it's something I grew familiar with as I was growing up. I was constantly disappointing her.

I sigh.

I'll keep the worrying thoughts for tomorrow because right now, I want to be with my family.

I make my way out of the bedroom and Teddy comes running towards me giggling.

"Daddy! Ana gaves me chocowate!"

"Chocolate? Before dinner? Well, aren't you a lucky boy!"

He grins nodding, the chocolate is clearly visible around his lips making me laugh even more.

"Guilty as charged" Ana holds up her hands at Teddy's chocolate confession.

"I'll let it slide, just this once….if I can have some too" I smirk.

She grins snapping off a square and holding it to my lips.

I willingly take it into my mouth making Teddy giggle.

"Dinner is almost ready" She smiles and Teddy squeals excitedly.

"Sghetti my favowite!"

Tickling his tummy as I chuckle. He's always loved his pasta and sauce.

I carry him over to the island as Ana starts to plate up putting the dishes in front of us.

Teddy digs in eagerly thoroughly enjoying every mouthful.

Ana sits opposite us smiling as we dig in too.

"This is amazing"

"Ana and me mades it!"

"Its the best I ever tasted" I wink at Ana and Teddy grins proudly.

"He's an amazing little helper, aren't you sweetheart?"

He nods with a mouthful of food making her laugh.

"Okay, buddy, ready for a bath?" I lift him once he's demolished his whole plate.

"Yeah!"

"I'll clean up" Ana smiles at me as she makes her way to the sink.

"Leave that, I'll do it later…you cooked"

"It's okay I don't mind" She leans up pecking my lips, "Go and enjoy bath time with Teddy".

I smile more and I peck her lips once again before making my leave with a saucy covered little Theodore and we head into the bathroom.

"Cans I have bubbles, Daddy?"

"Of course you can"

He starts to get undressed, pulling his shirt over his head but it ends up getting stuck making me laugh.

"I got you" I lift it smiling and when his face is revealed once again I kiss his little button nose.

"I wuvs you, Daddy, wots and wots"

"I love you too, lots and lots and lots" I lift him swinging him into the air chuckling before sitting him into the warm water. Kneeling on the floor beside the bath watching him play with his ducks.

"Is yous and Ana getting mawwied?"

"Would you like that?"

He nods as his focus stays on his little rubber ducks.

"Yeah… Daddy wuvs Ana and Ana wuvs Daddy, so you can gets mawwied now"

I chuckle ruffling his hair, "Clever little guy huh?"

"Gwandma says I cwever wikes Daddy" He grins proudly at that statement.

My lips grinning proudly at the statement too.

My son.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"If yous and Ana gets mawwied, wills Ana be my new Mommy?" He looks up at me.

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	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43…

"If yous and Ana gets mawwied, wills Ana be my new Mommy?"

"Well….I guess we'd have to talk to Ana about that huh?"

"Cans we Daddy? Cans we talk to her?"

"Maybe one day okay? Ana has a lot going on right now with her Mommy and Daddy, but I know she loves you very much and we can talk to her soon"

"otays"

"Would you like it if she was though?"

"Yeah… Me wuvs Ana wots too"

"Me too buddy, me too"

Walking through the hall passing by the bathroom as I head for Christian's bedroom.

Well, our bedroom now I guess.

I hear their conversation and I feel the tears welling in my eyes.

I lean against the wall listening, I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself.

I drop my phone in shock causing it to land on the floor.

Oh gosh.

I hope I haven't given myself away.

I quickly pick it up rushing into the bedroom.

I lean against the door slightly and my heart is racing.

A Mom?

He wants me to be his Mom?

I change into one of Christian's shirts, wanting to feel closer to him, wanting to feel his arms around me. His scent on his shirt drifting me off into a daydream as I gaze out of the window laying in bed waiting for them.

Today has been overwhelming.

Between going to the hospital, Christian showing me the new house, making love in the kitchen, finding Teddy with that poisonous snake, and now….now that conversation.

My mind is a vortex of a billion thoughts.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow is also going to be so overwhelming.

After his bath and a little bedtime story, within the hour Teddy is asleep in my arms and Christian is laying on his side. Watching me.

But I don't even notice his gaze due to the thoughts spiraling.

"You okay?" He pulls me away from my overthinking as his hand moves over my cheekbone.

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Worried about tomorrow…" He admits and I know, right now he needs me.

I reach my hand over to him and I cup his cheek, "It's going to be fine…it'll be hard for your Mom to hear but for the sake of Teddy, you're making the right decision"

He nods sighing as he closes his eyes shuffling closer to Teddy and me.

I gently move my arm around him letting my fingertips massage against his scalp, and with that, he also drifts off.

Now.

Now I'm left with my thoughts gazing up at the ceiling.

The time ticks….

And ticks….

And ticks….

Midnight turns to 1.

1 turns to 2.

2 to 3 and that's the last I see on the clock.

The next thing I know, I'm being jolted awake by rapid movements in the bed beside me.

Pleadings and cries for help.

Torturous screams coming from his lips.

Christian?

My heart is beating fast with worry. I carefully lay Teddy on the other side of me and luckily he remains asleep.

"NO! NO! GET AWAY! DON'T TOUCH ME! NO! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! STOP! NOOO!"

"Christian….Christian…it's me…wake up…please wake up it's just a dream, please Christian"

I cup his cheeks, running my thumbs across his cheekbones in an attempt to calm him.

"JUST ANA AND TEDDY! NO! JUST ANA AND TEDDY, NO ONE ELSE!"

He cries out again and my heart breaks for him, all the events of today must have taken its toll on his mind.

"Christian…it's me…it's Ana….please wake up"

I shake him with one hand as my other continues to stroke his face.

His body is glistening with sweat and shaking with fear.

I can only imagine what he's dreaming about after everything he's told me about his past.

Oh Christian, please wake up.

Suddenly, he takes a large gasp of air and he jolts up into a sitting position on the bed frantically.

"Ana!"

"Hey…Hey….it's okay, it's me…You're safe…I'm here"

He looks at me and his eyes are a soulless black with horror and freight.

His whole body is shaking.

"It's okay…it's okay, …you're with me…I'm here…it was just a dream…"

A horrible, terrible, disturbing dream.

I wish I could heal him, I really do but it's like he's paralyzed with fear.

He won't move, he won't talk, he's just staring at me with his fearful eyes.

Come on Christian, come back to me….come back to me.

The tears in my eyes evident but feeling his body shake I carefully climb into his lap so he knows it's me.

"It's me…It's me, you're okay" continuing to try and get through to him.

I stroke his hair, his face, his shoulders, his neck. I kiss his lips ever so softly and finally.

Finally, his arms move around my body and his head falls against my shoulder.

His body still shaking and soaking wet.

My heart breaks for him.

He pulls me down onto his chest, my body flush against him and he just holds me there on top of him.

Whatever he needs, I'll give it to him.

He needs it all, he needs the comfort, he needs the reassurance and I'm here.

I always will be here.

For both of them.

The events of yesterday and the worry of today clearly plaguing his mind.

But it's going to be okay.

It is.

I place a kiss over his heart and I lay against his body which is finally calming.

The beating of his rapid heart finally slowing down into a more realistic pace.

Nuzzling his face into my neck and hair, I know it's the reassurance he needs.

"It's me" I kiss his jaw coaxing him to speak, to talk, to say anything just so I know he's okay.

I look over to little Teddy to make sure he's okay but thankfully he's still sound asleep.

"Never leave me?" His voice is coarse and filled with pain.

I can hear the freight behind the voice and I look up into his eyes. Finally, they're his usual piercing grey but they're pleading with me.

Like a scolded child his eyes are pleading with me.

"I'll never leave you…I promise I promise….I promise" I reassure him with even more kisses and his arms move around me and he coaxes my face closer towards his lips as he devours me in a deep and passionate kiss.

I'm lost.

I'm lost in him and there's no other place I'd rather be.

The next thing I know, I'm waking and I'm alone in bed.

I feel exhausted, my head is pounding, my eyes are sleepy and I already know there's a long day ahead.

Christian…

Where is Christian?

Is he okay?

I climb out and I rush to the living room only to see him and Teddy both curled up on the sofa watching cartoons.

"Ana!" Teddy notices me first and he wriggles off the sofa and comes running over.

I smile brightly lifting him into my arms.

"Good morning handsome"

He giggles as his arms wrap around my neck and his little head rests into my shoulder.

Christian seems a little nervous, almost ashamed to come near me so instead I move to him.

I sit on the sofa beside him as he runs his hand through his hair.

"Good morning handsome number 2" I smile gently kissing his cheek and he looks at me as if he's almost surprised by my actions.

He leans forward and kisses me softly, allowing me to smile against his lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm dreading today"

"It's going to be okay" I smile sadly.

"…and about last night…"

"I help you, you help me…that's how families work, right?" I smile and I kiss him again to stop his apologies. "I love you". He doesn't have to explain himself to me, ever. I understand.

He nods and rests his forehead against my own and I watch as his smile grows with relief.

"I love you" He whispers back.

Teddy smiles in my arms simply watching us.

The memories of yesterday coming back.

_wills Ana be my new Mommy?_

_wills Ana be my new Mommy?_

_wills Ana be my new Mommy?_

We're moving in together, we love each other and yes… of course I'll consider Teddy as my own. We're a family now, whatever that consists of.

But today, we need to focus on meeting his parents and then my own.

Let the games begin.

We make our way to his parent's house.

"Is Hungwy" Teddy says making me giggle as he looks out the window.

"We're almost there buddy, grandma has pancakes waiting for you".

"Yayyy Pancakes!"

He smiles excitedly but I can hear the worry in Christian's voice.

I reach over taking his hand in mine squeezing it gently.

"It's going to be okay"

His gaze turns towards me gratefully and he lifts my hand kissing my knuckles.

We make our way inside the worry on Grace's face is evident.

"Gwandma!"

"There's my handsome grandbaby…Your auntie Mia has your pancakes in the kitchen" She kisses his cheek and he runs off excitedly.

Then, she looks to Christian.

She has a knowing look on her face and gestures for us to head into the living room.

We follow her in, hand in hand and Mr. Grey follows in behind us too.

Christian and I sitting on one couch and his parents sitting on the other.

"So…Elena left here pretty sharpish yesterday, I didn't get a chance to ask her what was going on either" His Mom says and she's looking at him like she's already figured out what's going on.

I put my hand in his and he looks to me.

He looks to me for the longest amount of time. Like as if he's gaining the energy and building the confidence to tell her.

After a squeeze to my hand, he turns to her.

"Elena and I have history….and I don't want her anywhere near Theodore"

"History?"

"We were in a sexual relationship together from the moment It was agreed I would go to her house as punishment for being a dick and disappointing everyone around me."

She looks down, her eyes closing shut tight and horror becomes her.

Her hands are fisting in front of her. Shaking, her body is now shaking.

"A…A sexual….."

"Yes…she…she subdued me, it was a way to release my anger without hurting anybody else that didn't want to or didn't deserve to get hurt because of my behaviour"

"Oh my goodness Christian…"

Her hand moves to her mouth covering it like she's about to be sick.

When her eyes open they are filled with necessary tears that come streaming down her cheeks. Sadness and anger filling her eyes.

It's a horrible thing to watch but it needed to be done to keep Teddy safe from her claws.

"I can't believe it, I…I can't….This…it's all my fault...Christian….why didn't you tell me sooner? I am so so sorry, I should have seen, I should have known….I can't…I can't" Her hand moves back to her mouth while his father is clutching the sofa so tightly his knuckles have gone white.

"She abused you…"

"No, it was consensual….I agreed to it"

"You were 16 Christian!" His voice raises, but I can only imagine it's because of the worry, the regret, the hurt that it's bringing to him. "I'm calling the police" Carrick stands in frustration and anger, heading to the phone.

"No….I don't want that….I just want to keep her away from Teddy…please"

Christian pleads and it breaks my heart.

Carrick looks to Grace and then Grace to Carrick.

"I agreed to do it! At the time it saved me! If it wasn't for her offer I'd be dead or locked up…in the weirdest and fucked up way possible she did help my anger but now…when I saw Teddy so close to her it turned me sick! Please…I'm telling you this not to cause drama, but just so you understand why I don't want her here when Teddy or Ana is in the house"

"She was my friend…you…I…" Grace's anger boiling over the treachery of who she thought was a good friend, "I let her into my home, my events, I confided in her….and…and…she was…she…I want to kill her…I want her to pay for what she's done! My poor boy…"

"Mom…" He sighs in defeat looking up at her.

Grace's cheeks are flowing with rivers of tears and she moves to kneel in front of Christian, her hands taking his.

"I am so so so Sorry Christian, please…forgive me…I am so sorry"

My heart is hurting for them all.

"This isn't your fault Mom, you weren't to know. I was fucked up"

"You were not messed up…you were hurting and she abused that! She used your insecurities"

He looks away from her in fear of the disappointment in her eyes but there isn't any, there's just sadness and regret. She blames herself but there's nothing anyone could have done. I gently stroke his shoulder encouragingly and he turns his head at my gesture kissing the top of my head.

The next hour goes by and it's filled with sadness, worry, hate, self-blame, confusion, unanswered questions.

Carrick being the most angered as he continually tries to convince Christian that he needs to take it further. But that's all he's doing is causing the anger in Christian to rise and rise. I hate seeing him this way, I hate seeing him so torn and helpless.

I do understand the anger in Carrick. I have never seen him this way before, I could never even imagine seeing him this angry, he's normally so calm, so gentle. But the love he has for his son is admirable.

As much as we would all love to see her locked up right now, I know Christian has to take this one step at a time. Today was a big enough step for him and I think sitting in a room of strangers telling them of his sexual relations with her would tip him over the edge. Maybe in the future, we can convince the situation otherwise. But for now, at least his parents know.

I've sat here beside him simply being the support he's needed. He's told them everything, within the hour and a half we have been sat here. He's told them almost every detail he can. There have been tears, there's been yelling, there's been sadness, there's been hate.

Every chance I have I'm touching him, soothing him, trying to keep him calm, letting him know I'm here by his side through everything.

After a few more raised words, now it's silent and he simply takes my hand.

He's done it.

It's over with.

He's free.

His Dad is seething with anger and rightly so, his Mom staring out of the window sadly.

"I'm sorry," Christian says breaking the silence, "I just want it to be over, I don't want her around here anymore"

"I promise you she will not be stepping foot into this house again" She kisses Christian's head, "We should report it"

"No…I'm not going through that. I am not sitting in a fucking police station telling them what happened between us. I was 16, it was consensual. I don't want to be talking to some fucking stranger about what went on. I'm done with courts and the police. I just want to live my life"

"You were vulnerable!" Carrick says, his voice calmer but still harsh.

"I don't care, I have told you…you are the only ones that need to know so when Teddy is here, she isn't okay? That is fucking it! I'm done"

His parents are livid and blaming themselves. They're pacing, then comforting Christian, then looking to me with such sadness and despair. It's the worst atmosphere possible.

Carrick excuses himself and moves out of the room angered by the events.

"He'll be okay eventually, he just needs some time" Grace sniffles sadly. "We both do".

Christian stands and Grace moves to closer to him. Her arms cautiously moving around him but he willingly accepts her. She hugs him so tightly as if she has a fear of him disappearing.

"You knew?" She looks to me and I bite my lip nodding sadly.

"I did…I'm sorry…"

"I told her when things started to get…serious between us. I didn't want any secrets and My nightmares, you know" Christian replies, making her look back towards me.

"You knew and…." Her smile grows with pride and love, "Thank you…my darling girl, Thank you for being by his side…Please never give up on my boy"

"Never, I promise. I love him and Theodore with all of my heart"

"I can see that, I can definitely see that" She says as she quickly attempts to wipe her tears away.

I give her the reassurance she needs as Christian sits back beside me and his arm moves around my waist.

I rest my hand on Christian's thigh encouragingly and surprisingly he smiles at that.

"On a lighter note…I bought a new house and Ana has agreed to move in with us".

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Surprise! An extra chapter today for all the wonderful reviews I've received! You truly are an amazing bunch of readers and I hope you will continue to stick around for more!


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44…

Thank fuck that's over with!

I have never felt so horrible in my entire life.

I had no idea how to put it into words.

Sexual relationship, but it wasn't a relationship was it?

I just said that because I had no fucking clue how else to word it.

_'Oh yeah Mom, Dad she taught me how to fuck'_

Could you imagine the reaction I would have got from that?

Yes, I agreed to it but they're right.

Everything they said was right.

She did use my insecurities.

She did take me for granted.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to sit in a police station and relive it all to some weird fucking stranger who will judge me.

Not a fucking chance.

They know now and that's enough. I can finally move on with my life and I can finally keep Teddy away from her.

He was always my main concern and seeing him sitting so close to her turned me physically sick.

Everything she did, it was wrong. I know that now.

Watching my Mom sitting there sobbing, watching my Dad pace angrily made me feel horrible.

I'm so fucking grateful Ana was by my side.

The way her hand comforted me when I needed it.

Elena may have taught me how to fuck, but Ana, Ana has taught me how to love and I will never go back to that life now. Not ever.

The hour and a half I spent explaining the events and watching the sadness in everyone's eyes was the longest of my entire life.

I felt like a pigeon being watched by a pride of lions.

Watching me, waiting for me to fuck up so they could pounce.

I know it's not quite the same, but their eyes were on me constantly and I hated it. Especially, my Dad, he was so fucking angry. I have never seen him that way before, not ever.

I was expecting to see the disappointment in my Mom's eyes but to my surprise, I didn't see it. I saw love, sadness and self-blame instead.

It wasn't her fault.

I wish she wouldn't blame herself.

There's only one person that got themselves into that mess. There's only one person at fault and only one person to blame and that person, is me.

My Dad, on the other hand, the disappointment, the anger, the hate. It was all there and that hurt. It may not have been purely aimed towards me, but it cut through me like an iron knife burning through my soul.

The disappointment is always the worst.

Teddy and Mia are both oblivious to everything that has gone on as they're sitting at the breakfast table still munching down even more pancakes.

"Daddy! Ana! Antie Mia makes me mores!"

"I hope that's okay, he was hungry" Mia smiles at me and I nod.

"More pancakes? Oh my goodness aren't you a lucky boy!" Ana giggles ruffling his hair as she stands behind him and I simply stand in the doorway watching them.

"Ana wants somes?"

"No thank you, sweetheart, you enjoy them" Ana smiles with a loving glint in her eye.

I can move on now can't I?

Now that they know.

Now they know everything I don't have to keep hiding things, I can be more open, freer. I look at Teddy. My entire life. My entire heart.

I love him with every single fiber in my being and now, now he'll be safe from her claws.

Mia smiles brightly up at me.

"Thanks for watching him"

"Anytime, I love the little guy" She kisses his cheek making him giggle.

I walk over to Ana, kissing the top of her head, "Do you want anything for breakfast?"

"I'm good, I'm not feeling too hungry right now"

Me neither honestly.

After watching my mom's heartbreak at the news of her best friend and her youngest son, and my Dad's fury towards Elena, and me? Maybe? My appetite has gone right out the window.

I hope it comes back in time for dinner tonight at her parents' house.

What a fucking day.

Parents and families everywhere.

If I had my way, I'd keep the 3 of us cooped up in the apartment, inside one of Teddy's little blanket forts watching movies and eating pizza.

My Mom and Dad enter the kitchen with us and I tense. Suddenly feeling awkward around them.

Moving my hands to Ana's waist as she stands in front of me. I just want her close.

Her and Teddy are the only ones I feel comfortable with right now, with everyone else? I feel judged and awkward. With my hands at her waist, thankfully she leans into my embrace allowing me to feel her body against mine, her scent filling my nostrils as she giggles and makes a fuss of Teddy with his pancakes.

To my surprise, I feel my Dad's hand on my shoulder.

"Son…I'm sorry for the way I acted, I am angry. In fact I am livid but not with you…I just wanted you to know that" Then he hugs me.

And suddenly, the tension In the room goes away and I don't feel ashamed or embarrassed anymore.

He pats my back before taking his coffee and he sits beside Mia starting to make a fuss with Teddy.

.I..have no words. The worry his anger was aimed at me has finally faded.

Ana looks up at me offering me a small smile as I move into the same stance, standing behind her with my hands moving back against her body.

I peck her lips and then look around the table in front of me.

Teddy, Mia, My Dad, my Mom…and then Ana and I standing behind Teddy's chair.

It surprisingly sends a wonderful shiver through my body as I smile watching their interactions with Teddy.

He's safe now and he'll never see her again.

Not Leila, Not Elena. He's finally surrounded by people that will only shower him with love.

After breakfast they take him out into the gardens, Mia and Ana are bonding In the kitchen and I follow my parents out into the gardens.

"I remember when we brought you home…you loved the gardens"

I vaguely remember, "Yeah…it was quiet" I smile sadly at the memory and she nods.

Her arm linking through my own as we follow an excitable Teddy through the grass with my Dad.

"I wish I had known, I wish I had protected you," She says quietly and her tears are daring to fall once again.

"Mom…it's not your fault please don't blame yourself. It's in the past now, let's just forget about it okay? I just want to protect Teddy".

She simply nods. I know she doesn't want to give the subject up but I don't want to keep reliving it.

"So tell me about this house…And with Ana? I am so glad you've found her Christian. She is a wonderful and beautiful addition to your life"

"Yeah, she is… She and Teddy are everything to me now. And the house, well I took Elliot with me when I went to visit but I knew immediately it was the one"

"Where is it?" She smiles making conversation.

"You'll never believe me but you know the lake you and Dad used to take us on? It's the big House there in the corner…As soon as I saw it advertised I had to go and view it. I remembered when you and Dad took us out onto the boat... it made me feel, happy, free, positive you know?"

Her eyes fill with tears again and she nods knowing the exact place, she turns to face me and her arms move around my shoulders in a simple embrace.

"I'm so, so happy for you…"

"Thanks, Mom…"

Now the thing is, I feel fucking terrible because I know she's still blaming herself for what happened with Elena and somehow, I want to make it up to her.

I was going to ask Elliot to come with me but I think maybe a woman's eye would be more beneficial to the cause and I think she'd be overwhelmed with happiness that I've asked her to join me.

We continue to walk and I chuckle hearing my son's laughs along with my Dad's.

I'm glad he's slightly calmer now.

Teddy is a great distraction, for everyone.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you maybe free on Friday after school?"

"Yes sweetheart, I finish work at noon. Did you want me to pick Teddy up?"

"Actually, would you want to come into town with me?"

She looks up at me as if baffled by my question. "Why darling is everything okay?"

"Uhm…yeah… I just. I was hoping you'd like to help me pick out a ring?"

She stops right there in her tracks and looks at me with the widest smile and the brightest of eyes.

"A ring…you mean?"

I chuckle at her reaction and I nod, "A ring…yes…" I smile more.

"Oh my darling boy, I'd be honored to come with you"

I can hear the excitement in her voice.

Despite everything that I've already told her today, despite all the negative.

Finally.

Finally, this is the positivity every single one of us needs.

And I know, I know this is meant to happen. This is what I want.

I at least hope she says yes.

"I know we haven't been together for that long…but, I just know…I know she's the one"

"I know she's the one too, I approve with my whole heart. She is amazing with the both of you"

I smile more, nodding as we continue our way through the gardens before heading back inside to find Mia and Ana smiling, laughing and enjoying themselves.

"Ana!" He squeals running up to her chair and she willingly lifts him onto her lap.

"There you are!" She tickles his tummy making him wriggle and laugh.

"Is pwaying wiv gwandpa!"

"Oh wow, did you have fun?"

"Yeah" He smiles brightly.

A few hours later, we leave my parent's house and make our way to Ana's.

Teddy is growing quieter and quieter.

With us and my family, he's himself, but with new people, he turns into his little shell.

I can tell Ana is a little nervous too but she's been the rock I've needed all day so now it's my turn to repay the favor.

As I drive, reaching over I take her hand in mine and she gives me the smallest smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just…I…I'm not sure I'm ready to play happy families yet"

"It'll be okay, you'll see" I lift her hand to my lips making her smile even more trying my best to encourage her.

"Thank you, for being here"

"You've done more than enough for me, it's the least I could do".

I pull up outside of the house, Taylor parking behind us and watching guard the entire night.

We make our way up to the door.

I can see Ana fumbling with her thoughts as she just stares at it. Staring at the knocker then to the handle.

She decides to knock and within seconds her Mom is opening the door, suddenly Teddy clutching against our legs.

He's nervous.

I smile down at him and I lift him into my arms, whispering. "It's okay, it's Ana's Mommy"

He nods but his arms move around my neck, his head resting on my shoulder but his eyes remain on Ana.

"Mom…"

"Ana…Christian… you don't need to knock, come in" She hugs Ana, then smiles at me and then she notices Teddy.

This is the worrying part.

Knowing how she treated Ana when she was a child I definitely have my doubts about her and even more so with Teddy.

But he's in my arms, Ana and I are here and there's no way either of us would let anything happen to him.

"You must be Theodore" She smiles softly looking at him.

His arms clutched around my neck even tighter than before.

"It's okay buddy, it's okay…say hi…"

"Hi," He says quickly before hiding his face into my neck.

"He's a little shy, he'll come around" Ana says as she smiles at me then towards her Mom as we make our way inside.

"Dad…hey how are you feeling?" Ana moves to the large chair where her father is sitting comfortably. Gently she hugs him as best as she can not to hurt him. I can see fhe caution.

I keep Teddy close in my arms.

"Annie sweetheart...I'm good, I'm a little sore but your Mom is taking care of me" He smiles hugging her back as best he can.

"Good, I'm glad".

"Please make yourself at home Christian…and you must be little Theodore? Ana has told me a lot about you" He peeks out from my neck looking at Ana, to which, she notices his gaze and she walks back to us gently stroking his little back.

"Ana…" He mumbles and reaches for her, I internally chuckle at his attempts to be in her arms.

She willingly takes him and holds him close.

"It's okay sweetheart, this is my Mommy and Daddy… This is Ray…." She moves a little closer to her father and I watch as his arms move tighter around her.

"Do you like chocolate Theodore?"

His little eyes look to me, then up at Ana.

She runs her hand through his hair encouragingly and with that, he nods.

"Well…I have a secret place where I keep my best chocolates, would you like one?"

And with that, he perks up a little bit.

He never once leaves Ana's arms but as soon as that chocolate enters his lips he's smiling again.

He's talking, talking quietly but it's still something.

Ana sits beside me on the Sofa with Teddy and my arm instinctively moves around her waist.

"So…what does everyone want for dinner?" She says looking around, mainly towards her Dad.

"You don't have to cook sweetheart, we can order in?"

"I don't mind" She smiles and then looks down to Theodore, "I have my amazing little helper with me today don't I sweetheart?

He nods smiling and cuddles into her chest.

I love watching his interactions with her.

"I can help too…"

"It's settled then…we can rustle something up"

Ana smiles and with that, the 3 of us are cooking, laughing and preparing dinner for all 5 of us. We decided on steak covered in garlic butter with fries, a personal favorite I must add and Ana cooked it perfectly. And Teddy of course, her little helper.

For Teddy, Ana makes him a little beef burger and he is thoroughly happy with that.

If I'm honest, I kind of just stood there and watched, I am useless in the kitchen.

It hasn't been so bad you know, when we finally all sat down to eat.

It was a little awkward at first. Small talk isn't my forte.

Now if I was trying to score a business deal I could talk all day, but families? Small talk? Making conversation about life? That is not me and definitely not with people I barely know.

But it's surprisingly been a wonderful evening and I think it's exactly what Ana needed with her parents.

Carla was on her best behavior making a fuss of both Teddy and Ana. She was trying her best snd that's all anyone could ask for.

Ray, now Ray has been great since the first day I met him. He's a funny and caring guy and the love he has for Ana is astounding.

Actually, he reminds me a lot like Ana.

Ana with Teddy in fact.

Ana isn't Ray's but he loves her like his own.

Teddy isn't Ana's but she loves him.

She loves him as if he were and that is everything to me.

Carla convinces Ana to open her birthday presents which she does willingly.

"Ana? It's not you birfday?"

We all laugh at that and she shakes her head smiling.

"you're right, I spent my birthday with you didn't I?"

He nods smiling brightly.

"My Mom wasn't in Seattle on my birthday, but now she's here she's brought all my presents… do you want to help me open them?"

"Weally? Cans I?"

We all laugh at his innocence as he quickly runs into her arms sitting on her lap.

Presents consisting of Jewellery, photos, tickets for a baseball game and among other things too.

She hugs her Mom and I notice the tears welling in Carla's eyes. She's missed so many birthday and a few presents aren't going to change that, but she's trying and being the wonderful, kind and caring person Ana is, she's giving her Mom the opportunity, giving her another chance.

She astounds me with her forgiveness.

It's been a lovely evening and despite the nervousness in her before we arrived, I know she's glad she came.

About 2 hours later, Teddy is flat out sleeping on my chest as we sit on the sofa.

"Ready to head off?" Ana looks to me smiling as she notices Teddy's sleeping frame.

"Yeah, I'd better get him to bed"

"Please come around again soon?"

Ray and Carla both plead with us to which we agree.

Hopefully and finally, our families are complete.

The happiness and freedom can finally radiate between us all.

I hope.

After today, I feel free. I feel different somehow. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my life.

I just hope once I've been into town with my Mom on Friday that Ana will say yes.

Then, I'll have everything.

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	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45…

A week later already and things have gone so smoothly. Living with Christian and Teddy seems so natural, so easy, like it's something that was always destined for us. Spending time with them every evening, chilling out, smiling, laughing, eating. It's been wonderful. Teddy sharing the bed with us for a couple of nights but then when he was in his own bed, Christian and I making love were some of the most memorable moments of the week.

The week surprisingly flew by.

I went back to school on Monday. Now that my Dad is home and my Mom is taking care of him, I could finally go back to the classroom.

Honestly? I missed being there. I missed the laughs and smiles of the children, I missed the sing songs and the dancing. I missed watching their imagination run wild on a piece of paper as their tiny little fingers smothered it in paint.

I missed it all and after the events of the weekend, I was glad to be back at work.

Last weekend was a whirlwind of emotions.

Sadness, Content, Anger, Worry, Anxiousness, Happy, excited, love.

Every hour a new feeling would come.

Christian with his parents and then myself with mine.

But now, my main emotion?

Nervousness.

A heck of a lot of it too.

I'm starting to think if it's even worth me going for this interview?

I already enjoy my job.

Publishing and writing have always been my passions, but what if I'm not good enough?

What if I mess it up?

What if people there hate me and I don't fit in?

I don't want to feel useless or worthless and with an interview that may go wrong, I fear that may happen.

It's such a big and well-known company and being laughed at or rejected would spiral me into darkness.

I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel like I could be something, I feel happy… but I'm so worried this interview might change that.

I know this worry is only because niggling anxious thoughts that I cannot control. The voice in my head trying to make out I'll never make it but I know that when Christian wakes he'll give me the confidence I need, he always does and his voice will surely overtake the negativity in my mind.

Previous to today I was so excited about it but my anxiety gets the better of me sometimes.

All the reasons not to do this come flooding in, as if my body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. I feel the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what I decide to do next. The anxious feeling will fade if I back away and decide not to go, or I can head it face on and be the real boss of me.

I do love working at the school. I do, with my entire heart but I studied English as a major for a reason, shouldn't I pursue that?

Shouldn't I overcome my insecurities and follow my dreams?

"Ana…..Ana…Ana…Ana…."

Suddenly I'm pulled from my worrying thoughts with two hands at my waist making me jump in surprise as I feel water dripping down my shirt.

"Oh..my gosh….I'm so sorry…"

With my worries distracting me from functioning properly, I've managed to over fill my teacup. The water overflowing over the brim and leaking down the counter top over my shirt.

Great.

I quickly rush grabbing a towel wiping it up.

I didn't even hear his voice, it was like a distance whisper in my worrying daydream.

"Hey, …it's okay, what's wrong?"

He takes my hands making me stand in front of him and I sigh.

"I'm sorry"

"You don't need to apologize" He kisses my forehead reassuringly. "Talk to me".

I bite my lip and I look up at him. His eyes are worrying.

"This interview…I'm so nervous. What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm no good at the job? What if they don't like me? What if I mess everything up?"

"Hey...Hey.." He cups my face between his palms and he gazes deep down into my worrying soul.

"You, are going to be amazing. You always are…There'll always be What Ifs, but you'll never know unless you try and if you don't try you'll regret it" He kisses me softly and a small amount of anxiety releases from my body with one of his simple kisses. "Go to the interview, do your best…If you're suited to the job they'll hire you if you don't fit that one we can find you another one…"

I sigh and I rest my forehead against his chest.

"I just feel so….so…."

"I know baby, I know. But you'll smash it okay?"

"I hope you're right"

"Besides, I'm sure Teddy will be thrilled to know he has you a for a few more months yet if you don't get it" He smirks.

"Hey don't do that!" I laugh softly, "I already feel terrible for leaving the school"

"This is what you've always wanted Ana, you've always loved your books, you studied English…This is where you're meant to go. I'm so proud of you" He smiles and his arms move around me in an embrace which I willingly lean in to as I close my eyes.

He always, always makes me feel so much braver than I am.

He's my everything.

"Now, let me make you a real cup of tea without the river" He winks laughing and I swat at his muscular biceps as he teases me.

After sitting with him sipping my tea, I can't really stomach anything to eat right now I'm too nervous, but his tea was just what I needed.

I head to school taking Teddy with me today so Christian can go straight to work and he'll be picking him up later on.

The day moves so so slowly and I am so tired. The worry of this interview after school had me up all night, but finally, 3 pm hits and I rush back to the apartment as quickly as I possibly can, so I can get ready for the interview. My heart is completely pounding.

As soon as I leave the elevator, I rush into the bedroom and start to get ready, pulling out a burgundy dress with boot heels, my makeup nice but not too much and my hair curled.

I look, professional.

I feel, different, I look different. Since meeting Christian I have changed, changed for the better.

Making more of an effort with my appearance.

I can see a glow in me and it's all thanks to him.

I hear a ping from the elevator and I hear Christian and Teddy's voices.

"Okay buddy Grandma is running late but she's on her way okay?"

"Yayyy otays!"

He walks into the bedroom, smiling as he moves to stand behind me.

I lock my gaze with his in the reflection of the mirror.

Standing here now looking in the mirror, I feel so empowered.

His hands at my waist, I watch as his head dips down placing small butterfly kisses along my neck.

Watching the way his lips move against my skin in the reflection makes me squeeze my legs harder together to protect the wave of heat rushing between my thighs.

Biting my lip as he smirks and looks back at me.

"You look…fuck. Are you sure you want to go? I could maybe….just….keep you here" He guides me back towards the bed, the back of my knees hitting the mattress and just as he's about to devour my lips with his kisses we hear Teddy's adorable little voice.

"Daddy! Gwandma hewes!"

I giggle against Christian's lips.

"Cock blocked, again…." He smirks teasingly and pecks my lips, "Lucky for you, you'd have missed your interview…you look amazing and are torturing me with that outfit"

"So you like it then?" I smirk.

"Yeah, I do...but it'll look nicer on the floor later" He winks leaving my body feeling like a pit of fire as he exits the room to go to Teddy and his Mom.

Oh, my heart.

I take a look at myself once more in the mirror and then I head over to SIP.

My hands are shaking, my body is trembling.

Remember what Christian said.

_Go to the interview, do your best…If you're suited to the job they'll hire you if you don't fit that one we can find you another one…_

_Go to the interview, do your best…If you're suited to the job they'll hire you if you don't fit that one we can find you another one…_

I repeat it over and over and over again.

Making my way inside I head to the reception where they escort me to Mr. Roach's office.

I'm already in awe of this place and suddenly I don't feel so nervous anymore.

I feel….I feel like I belong.

As I walk through the corridors everyone I see either has a book in their hand or a pen in their mouth, all of their facial expressions are full of pure concentration.

That's how I imagine myself, deep into a wonderful novel. Deep into the imagination of another human being.

Maybe, even one day I could have my own book on the shelves in stores? or online?  
I do love writing and I really should get back into that.

Okay, Ana, let's calm it down, shall we? Let's get this interview done with first before you think about publishing an imaginary book.

I remind myself as I move to the office and I gently knock at the door.

"Come in"

"Hello, I'm…"

"Anastasia Steele…please come in…" He cuts me off with a smile and I take the seat opposite his desk that his hand gestured too.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

It isn't so bad.

The hour passes so quickly and the interview flowed more like a conversation rather than an interview.

He was so lovely. The questions were simple enough to answer too, with my passion for books and writing and my English major he seemed pretty impressed by my answers and the conversations we were having around them.

Finally though, finally it's over.

"So, thank you for coming here today Ana, you did really well… I have two more interviews this evening but I will let you know the outcome by Monday okay?"

"Wonderful, Thank you for your time Mr. Roach" I reach my hand across the desk and he willingly takes it, shaking my hand before I leave his office and then the building.

I take the deepest breath of air into my lungs.

I look behind me and up towards the building I just exited.

This would mean everything to me if I got the job, now I just have to wait.

I turn my phone back on, in fear of it going off mid interview I turned it off before I entered the building.

When the screen finally appears, Christian's name pops up immediately.

_'Goodluck, you're going to ace it! And I'm still thinking about that fucking dress ;) Can't wait to see you back at the apartment. My Mom, Teddy, Mia and I are having dinner out, I wasn't sure what time you'd be done. But I'll be home soon, I love you. C x ' _

My smile grows reading through it.

I can't wait to see him too. My body is still disturbed by his fondling kisses earlier in the mirror.

_'I think it actually went okay, I'm only now leaving there. Can't wait to see you and to see my dress on the floor too ;) That's okay, I'll just grab something on the way home. I love you too. A x' _

_'You're only now leaving? That sounds like a good sign! I'm so proud of you. I'll be home soon :) My Mom and Mia say hi and Teddy says hi too and can't wait to have an Ana hug' _

I laugh even more as I climb into my car.

_'Tell them all I say hi, and tell Teddy I can't wait for one of my Teddy hugs too'_

I'm so glad he's spending time with his Mom. I think she needs it after the shock of last weekend.

I think finally, finally things are falling into place again.

My parents are happy.

Christian is finally free from the secrets.

And we can all finally move on.

I make my way back to the apartment. Now I want to shower and change but Christian's reaction to my dress earlier makes me want to keep it on and wait for him to remove it.

But maybe….just maybe…I can do better than that.

Instead of driving straight to the apartment I make my way to the mall and head straight for Victoria Secret.

Now, his reaction to the dress was something, but maybe….I could surprise him even more.

Something a little more, sexy. Something a little more, eye catching, something a little more revealing.

And while I'm here I can grab something to eat too, Win Win scenario.

Walking into the well known Lingerie store, I wander around eyeing up all the wonderful fabric pieces.

Reds.

Blacks.

Navy.

Pink.

Green.

Patterned.

Push up.

T-Shirt.

Sport.

Thong.

Boxer.

Brief.

Lace.

Lycra.

Cotton.

And that's only half of them!

Oh my gosh there's so much to choose from.

What would he like best?

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	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46…

"What about this one?"

"Mia that's huge"

"That's the point" Mia smirks.

"Oh, this one is beautiful…" My Mom says smiling down into the jewelry cabinet.

I move beside her with Teddy in my arms and the most beautiful entwined engagement ring comes into sight.

It's dainty and delicate, beautiful and sparkling.

It's a unique and shimmering showpiece. Something that would suit Ana perfectly.

"I think that's Ana's style, nothing too fancy but shows a statement" My Mom smiles up at me and I nod as my eyes continue to stare down at the ring trying to picture it on her delicate and caring left hand.

The band is a simple twisted silver that is consisting of plain silver and shimmering silver, wrapping around each other like two branches. It's thin and perfect in size. And the diamond….wow the diamond is fucking amazing. Not too big but shines enough to gain attention.

I can feel my lips curling into a smile just thinking about having it on her finger, thinking that this ring is the perfect stamp stating that she is mine.

Every guy will know she is taken.

Every guy will know she is mine.

Jack her stupid fucking ex, Jose her supposed best friend? None of them, she chose me and I can't wait to get this ring onto her finger as soon as possible.

"What do you think of this one buddy?" I look to Teddy who seems content just resting on my shoulder.

I point to the ring in question and he perks up a little as he looks down through the glass.

"Dat's pwetty Daddy…is for Ana?"

"Yeah for Ana" I kiss his cheek smiling, "Do you think she'd like it?"

He nods excitedly giggling, "Yes! Pwetty wikes Ana too".

"Yeah it is, isn't it?"

He nods smiling more.

"Did you find anything you liked yet Mr. Grey?"

The manager stands on the opposite side of the cabinet.

Blonde hair, a lot of makeup. Your typical expensive jewelry style lady you know?

This is the third jewelery store we've entered so far and this is the only ring I've liked. The rest have been huge and overwhelming. Yes I want to make a statement of her being mine, but seriously? Some of them are ridiculously big.

"Could we see this one please?" My Mom points down to the ring in question and with that, she nods with a bright smile, mainly aimed at me.

I'm in here shopping for an engagement ring, clearly trying to make a statement and still I find female eyes gazing at me, the attention really churns me.

Every woman here has been making little gazes towards me and I've tried to ignore them.

I can't wait to have my own ring on my finger to show these fucking googly-eyed women I'm Anas too.

The media have upped their game lately and I'm being noticed more and more and more…. Luckily, Taylor is stood in the doorway keeping watch and there aren't any other customers in here right now.

Still, I'm here for my girl.

I'm here with my family.

I'm here for my family.

Before I even walked in here Sawyer came in beforehand with an NDA that I requested to be signed. I can't take any chances not with the media lurking around almost every corner these days. So with the NDA signed, that means no pictures, no questions, nothing. Do their job, I'll pay for what I like and then I leave and that is where it ends.

I want to keep my private life private for as long as I can and also because I don't want Ana seeing me plastered on every single magazine showing that I'm in a Jewellery store.

She'd guess straight away why I'm here, even more so because I'm with my Mom, my sister, and Teddy. I want it to be as much as a surprise as possible.

I kiss Teddy's head smiling as his little rests onto my shoulder.

"Here you go…. so this specific ring is white gold. It's a delicate yet modern vintage ring with shimmering cut diamonds and it's a total of $32.300.00"

"Wow…" Mia's eyes widen.

She's worth it, Ana is totally worth it.

Now my business has grown and a billionaire.

Now everything is finally falling into place I can afford these things.

$32.300.00 I can make that in the next 30 seconds… And the ring? It is fucking perfect. My Mom has amazing taste and she already seems to know Ana pretty well too. I'm so glad she came with me.

I love the ring and I know Ana will too.

I just hope, she says yes.

What if she doesn't though?

"She's going to love it darling" My Mom pulls me from my wandering thoughts as her hand touches my arm. I look down at her and she has tears in her eyes. She's so happy for me, she's so pleased.

But as I said, she has to say yes first.

"I think it's perfect" Mia smiles brightly.

"Pwetty Daddy" Teddy nods wrapping his little arms around my neck, "Is yous asking Ana to mawwy you now?"

"Soon buddy? But we can't tell her about the ring yet okay?…our little secret, promise?"

"Pwomise" He nods and his smile is so bright it melts my heart.

He loves her so fucking much and so do I.

"That's my boy" I kiss the tip of his nose making him giggle before I look to the manager of the store.

"I'll take it…"

She smiles seemingly happy with my large purchase.

I bet her commission will explode after this sale.

The size, now that was fun. I just hope I got it right.

Thank fuck Mia was here to help in that situation.

Then I also request an engraving, it's an extra $100 but I want it and I think it's worth it.

_'I love you'_

Carved onto the right inside of the band.

_'C & A' _

Carved into the left.

I debated adding a T for Teddy too, but who knows what may happen in the future.

If she says yes and agrees to become my wife then maybe there won't only be just Teddy anymore….

Maybe, just maybe 3 will become more.

Oh my fuck, what am I even thinking?

She has changed me completely in mind, body, and soul.

She's changed me for the better.

She has me thinking about our life, about our future, about our family and the possibility of it growing.

The person her and Teddy have made me, is a much better man than I was before.

"We'll get that sized up, and engraved for you Mr, Grey…is there anything else we can do for you today?"

"That's everything thank you" I nod.

"Perfect, we'll have that ready within 2 days sir"

"Thanks" I nod giving her a small smile before we take our leave.

"I hungwy Daddy"

"Me too! Glad I'm not the only one!" Mia laughs tickling his tummy making him wriggle in my arms.

"Shall we head to dinner before we head back? I've really enjoyed today, I don't want it to end"

Her smile brightens my heart.

After so many years of feeling like I've let her down, feeling like I've always disappointed her, feeling like she should have chosen someone else to adopt. After today, seeing her smile, seeing the pride and excitement in her eyes. I can't thank her enough for everything she has put up with, everything she has done for me even if I wasn't grateful at the time. But I am grateful now, With my whole heart, I am entirely grateful for the life I have now thanks to her.

Of course, I'll take her to dinner.

"Sounds perfect to me, my treat to thank you for coming today"

For coming today, for putting up with my shit, for adopting me, for everything. For my entire life.

She goes to argue against me paying but I catch her off guard when I kiss her cheek. Something very foreign to her.

People touching me and me touching people has become so much more tolerable lately.

It's like I'm a completely different person.

I grin when I see her smile and we make our way towards the car and heading for some dinner.

Mom has the garlic chicken, Mia has the salad, Teddy has mac and cheese and I decide on the steak.

It truly has been a wonderful day and now I have a ring sorted for Ana, I have to try and figure out how and when to ask her.

I look at my watch and it's already 7.30 by the time we've finished our meals.

Teddy babbling little stories about school and Ana.

My Mom laughing as she listens.

I can't wait to hear all about Ana's interview and I hope she kept on that dress.

Fuck, that dress.

She looked positively stunning in it and if I hadn't been interrupted by my little guy I would have taken her there and then.

But now, my mind is reeling with thoughts of removing it from her perfect fucking body.

Okay, I think it's time to head home.

When Teddy finally finishes his little stories, Mia and my Mom sitting in absolute awe of him making me chuckle. We say our goodbyes, and finally, we take our leave home.

Dropping Mom and Mia off before heading back to the apartment.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Is Ana homes?"

"I think so…why?"

I look in the rearview mirror chuckling when he lets out the biggest yawn I've ever witnessed for a four year old.

He hasn't had his nap today either so he's probably exhausted.

"Cans Ana wead me a stowy?"

"I'm sure she would love to" I smile at him and reciprocates it towards my reflection in the mirror.

"Yayyy".

We finally arrive back at the apartment, making our way up and the doors opening.

"Ana!" Teddy calls out looking around the apartment. "Ana!" His little feet take him down the hall and finally I hear her voice calling back to him.

"Theodore!"

He giggles hearing her voice too and she opens the door to the bathroom.

Fuck, the dress is gone but she's wearing one of my shirts and a pair of leggings to cover her legs.

He squeals excitedly and I chuckle as I watch him run straight into her open and waiting arms.

She's so good with him.

She'll make an amazing mother.

She swings him up making him laugh more, his tiredness gone out the window being replaced by a burst of energy.

"There's our handsome little guy, did you enjoy your night with Daddy?"

He nods enthusiastically before resting his head into the crook of her neck, his arms moving around her shoulders and he cuddles into her.

I watch as her arms move around him in the same tight embrace. He loves her so much and now, now I see the love she has for him too.

And for me.

Buying that ring has been the best decision I've made all week.

"Yeah! Gwandma and auntie Mia cames too"

"well, that sounds like a fun evening huh?"

"Yeah" He nuzzles further into her neck and the yawns start to return, "Wills you wead me a stowy Ana?"

"Of course I will sweetheart, do you want to go put your jammies on and pick out a book?"

She puts him down onto his little feet and he takes off into his bedroom.

Watching him go, then she turns to look at me with a smile.

"Hey"

"Hi" she smiles brightly.

"How did your interview go?"

"It was fine I think, he seemed pretty pleased with what I had to say. I felt comfortable being there, everyone was reading or writing or typing... I think I'd enjoy working there, it seemed very me, you know?"

"That's great baby, I'm sure you nailed it" I smile walking towards her. Kissing the top of her head as my arms move around her in a welcoming embrace. " When do you find out if you got the job?"

"Mr. Roach said by Monday, so we have all weekend to sit and wait" She smiles up at me and then my eyes find themselves looking down at her attire.

" So, I noticed you removed your dress" I smirk teasing.

"Mhmm…I did…are you disappointed?" She bites her lip as she gazes up at me. Her hands snaking up my torso, across my shoulders and behind my neck.

"I am…I've been waiting to rip it off you all day"

"Well…if you're lucky, maybe I have something else to make it up to you"

What?

The fuck?

Fuck, even the tone of her voice with that sentence turns me on. I can already feel my body getting hyped up.

My body reacts to her like it never has before.

Her voice.

Her body.

Her words.

Her kisses.

Her touches.

She smirks up at me as she leans towards me and kisses me softly.

She's teasing me.

She pulls back, and with the same smirk as before, she starts to undo a button on her shirt, and then another and another.

I love how fucking confident she is with me now. I will worship and cherish her body every chance I get.

My eyes rake over her skin as she pulls it to the side after the third button is undone revealing a black and gold lace item barely covering her breasts.

Fuck.

Fuck.

And with that, I can feel myself getting hard.

I know exactly what she's fucking doing.

She's teasing me and I just want to take her to the bedroom and be inside of her.

Soon, Christian, soon.

Let's get Teddy asleep first.

She smirks and makes quick work doing the buttons back up hiding away my surprise before Teddy comes running back out here.

No wonder she got changed, she was most definitely not wearing that underneath her dress this morning. And it's definitely not something I've seen her wear before. So she must have gone shopping and fuck is that the best surprise ever.

"That will definitely make it up to me…fuck Ana" I whisper against her ear making her giggle as I nip at the skin of her neck, moving my kisses along her jaw and around to her lips as I cup her cheek kissing her softly.

That is until Teddy's little feet come running up behind us and his little arms wrapping around our legs making us both laugh and look down at him.

"Weady Ana"

"Okay sweetheart, let's go"

He reaches for her hand and they make their way into his bedroom.

When she said she had something to make it up to me I was definitely not prepared to see a glimpse of sexy lace underneath her shirt.

My mind is going into overdrive and now the dress has gone out of my mind and I can't wait to take her into my bedroom later and see the full surprise.

Fuck.

I head into the kitchen for a glass of water to try and calm my beating heart, my pulsing dick and my swirling vortex of thoughts.

It doesn't help though.

Fuck.

After a little while, I decide to go and listen to the story myself, standing in the doorway I hear her voice.

It's like a chorus of angels as she talks, Teddy's eyes remain on her the entire time but they slowly start to droop lower and lower and lower. She smiles up at me when she sees my shadow move. I love watching her and Teddy together. I wish, I just wish he really was hers and I know he does too. She would make a fantastic mother and Teddy completely adores her.

"The end…." She says and his lips curl into a small sleepy smile.

"Ana?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"do you wuv my Daddy?"

"I do" She smiles up at me and then back to him as she starts to tuck him into his blanket and running her hand through his little tuft of hair soothingly.

"Does you wuv me?"

"Of course I do…"

"Otays"

She strokes his little cheek smiling.

"Is that okay?" She asks and he replies with a small nod.

"Yeah..." He mumbles sleepily with a smile on his face, finally, his eyes are drifting closed.

I chuckle softly, watching him before I make my way over to the side of his bed beside Ana.

"Goodnight sweetheart" She smiles stroking his little cheek once more.

"Nights Mommy" He mumbles back to her.

Her eyes widen slightly.

I had wondered if I had heard his mumble correctly but when I see her eyes widen and her teeth biting into her bottom lip, I know that I did.

And there it is.

Fuck.

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	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47…

It's not like I wasn't expecting it to happen.

I did overhear their conversation after all. He asked Christian would I become his mother and the thought of it made me feel an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness. He wanted me. He wanted me to his mother so much that he even asked Christian.  
I've been waiting for the moment to come after hearing their little conversation the other night and I guess now is that time to speak to Christian about it.

Teddy was so sleepy and tired he probably doesn't even realise he said it.

But we heard him, just as Christian got to my side, he said it and I think we were both stunned into a fit of shock at the words as they left his sleeping lips.

But what if, what if Christian doesn't want that?

That's what worries me.

I finally look up to Christian only to find his eyes are watching me.

Watching my reaction to Teddy's words?

I play my fingers together nervously as I place his book onto the bedside table where his little night light is shining.

Biting my lip, feeling even more nervous now.

What if it's not what he wants?

My heart is beating so rapidly I fear it may pound through my skin and out of my chest.

I stand and Christian takes my trembling hand in his own.

His touch is comforting and warm but now Teddy Is asleep we can't talk in here in fear we may wake him.

I close the door behind us not to disturb him as we make our leave from his room.

I suddenly feel nervous, a little self-conscious and I have no idea why.

"I'm sorry about that…I…" He says taking me by surprise.

He's sorry?

I find myself looking at him curiously.

"Why are you sorry?"

I watch as his hand runs through his hair in worry as he paces two steps forward and then two steps back.

"Christian..." I watch him, I call for him to make him stop pacing.

Finally, he stops and he looks at me.

Is he worried?

Why does he look so worried?

"He asked me the other evening if you…if he…"

Then it clicks.

Finally, I realise what is going on.

Finally, I realise why he looks so lost all of a sudden.  
He's worried i'll leave.

He's worried it's not what I want, just like I was worried it's not what he wants.

That's the problem, we always worry about the negative outcome where in reality, the negative hasn't come. It's come with other people but with us? It's only ever been positive.

Thanks to other people both of us have this automatic system where we believe we're not wanted, we're not good enough and we always expect the worst. We always expect people to run and leave.

But with him, the worst has never come.

Why am I so worried? I shouldn't be and neither should he.

I release the breath I hadn't realized i'd been holding for such a frustratingly long time and I look at him.

"I heard you… "

"What?"

"The conversation while Theodore was in the bath…I didn't want to make a deal out of it so I didn't say anything. I wanted you to be sure…"

"you wanted me to be sure? Ana, I was worried it wouldn't be what you wanted" He sighs and moves to me. His hands resting onto my waist as he gazes down into my eyes.

I knew it.

"I love you, and I love your son…" I smile softly as I reach my hand up to cup his cheek.

"We love you too…he adores you, Ana, you're such an inspiration to him. He wants you to be part of our family in more ways than just being with me…but is that what you really want? You're young, ambitious…you could do so much Ana…I'd understand if…"

"Shhhh…. " I place my finger onto his lips smiling. "I want you, I have since the moment I met you in that club…and with you comes Theodore who I also accept willingly into my life. I feel honored he wants me to be more to him too…I was worried it wasn't what you wanted"

"I wish he was yours, Ana, fuck I wish you truly were his mother"

"I can be" I smile more, feeling a little emotional as my eyes start to well with tears, "He probably won't even remember saying it when he wakes, he was so tired bless him. But, when the time comes…I can be and I will choose to accept him as my own if that's what you want too. Because I love you and I love him and as he's said before, we're a family now. I'm not sure what kind of mother I would be, I'm worried I won't be good enough…but I can try"

"Oh, Ana….You are more of a Mother to him than Leila ever was. He adores you. I watch the way you are with him and you're amazing. You'll make a great mother, to Teddy and any of your own" His lips curl into the biggest smile making me laugh softly. "I love you".

"And I love you"

"How did I get so lucky?"

"Well… luckily for you, Kate and Jose dragged me to a club" I smirk teasingly.

"Thank fuck for Kate! Jose….not so much"

I laugh at his words before moving my arms around his neck kissing him deeply.

Well then, I guess that's sorted.

If Theodore wants me to his stepmother, then I will be. I'll accept him as my own and I'll try my best.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of mother I would be, but I can at least try?

As I kiss Christian, my mind reels with thoughts.

_You'll make a great mother, to Teddy and any of your own_

_You'll make a great mother, to Teddy and any of your own_

_You'll make a great mother, to Teddy and any of your own_

He wanted me to accept Teddy as my own, he loves me and then these words left his lips.

_You'll make a great mother, to Teddy and any of your own_

Does that mean?

Does he want?

Will we have more children in the future?

Together?

Oh my gosh, my heart is swooning and pounding at the thought, I never ever imagined feeling this happy. I've always had the worry of True love never existing and the worry of never finding someone to spend my life with. But now, I suddenly feel complete, I feel like my life has meaning.

He lifts me around his waist carrying me into the bedroom.

I giggle as he starts to kiss down my neck and I feel his lips smirking against my skin.

"Is it time for you to make it up to me yet?"

"Mhm…It's all yours"

"You're all mine"

I feel a pulse between my legs as his words spiral through my body like a bolt of electricity.  
I bite my lip in anticipation.

My eyes gazing deep into the pit of his piercing grey ones.

Our breathing becoming heavier, our gaze becoming wanting and needing.

I love this man and his son.

I lean forward kissing him deeply. Our lips moving in unison against each other, parting to accept each other's embrace.

Our tongues fighting in dominance against as he puts me down onto my feet. My hands fumbling to pull his shirt over his head, his hands ripping the buttons from my shirt in pure lust.

"I didn't like this shirt anyway" He teases smirking as the buttons go cascading to the floor making me laugh.

Pushing my leggings down too and now there's nothing but his surprise.

Then, when the outfit is finally revealed, his eyes almost pop out of their sockets.

He just stands there, stalking my body for what seems like a lifetime.

I feel so bare, so open, so naked.

But he makes me feel beautiful and loved and he doesn't make me want to crawl away and hide anymore.

I feel comfortable with him and seeing his reaction to this makes my confidence grow even more.

"Say something…" I urge when he's silent for what seems like a lifetime.

"I…well…I…Fuck. When did you…."

"I went shopping after my interview….I thought you might…"

"Yes, I fucking love it. Fuck" His fingertips trail over the lace style corset that covers my abdomen. Black lace with gold trim embroidering the fragile fabric.

It covers half of the mound of my breasts, the other half peeking over the top in a teasing and revealing way.

His eyes are focusing just everywhere. The back of it slips between my cheeks in a thong style underwear and his hands grip them as he buries his face into my neck taking in the deepest breath.

I can already feel the strain in his jeans making me smirk.

My hands move between us and I graze my fingertips down his torso, feeling him suck in a breath when my hands reach his zipper, slowly pulling it down and undoing the button.

Releasing his already hard length.

"Is this making up for the dress?" I whisper against his ear.

"Fuck, yes" He groans back as I stroke him where he needs it, "Ana" He moans my name and I feel the familiar pooling between my thighs.

I push his jeans and boxers down before getting on my knees in front of him as he steps out of his clothing.

I look up at him through my fluttering lashes.

This is the first time I've done this, but I want to pleasure him. He always does so much for me, now it's my turn.

He cups my cheek looking down at me, "Are you sure?"

I feel nervous, of course, I do…I've never done this. But I want to.

I nod in response and as soon as my mouth meets his skin he hisses and his eyes close tightly.

"Fuck".

Moving my mouth slowly, my tongue flicking the tip as I pull back and his body jerks.

"Fuck Ana, you keep doing that and I'm not going to last…." His voice is coarse and strained.

Pleasure covering his features.

His hand running through my hair as I continue my assaults until he can't take it anymore. He lifts me into his arms and tosses me onto the bed.

"I want…fuck...I need to be inside you" He moans into my neck as he grinds against my core.

The friction between my thighs sends me into a state of want and need, it feels so good.

His fingers making work at his surprise removing it from my body and throwing it to the floor.

"You looked fucking stunning in it, but it definitely looks better on the floor now" He smirks as his eyes rake down my ready and waiting body.

Both of us completely naked now.

My body heightening in want and need for him.

He reaches over to his bedside table looking for a condom.

"Can we discuss birth control tomorrow? After feeling you in the new house, I don't want to keep putting one back on…." He groans as he rips open the packet.

"I will…I promise…I'll get an appointment" I breathe, leaning up into his neck kissing against his skin.

Once the condom is on, in one swift movement he's filling me and it feels divine.

I love it, I love us being so close.

Our bodies moving in unison, moving as one. Our breathing mimicking each other as our chests rise and fall in pleasure.

"Do you trust me?" He moans against my ear.

He doesn't even have to ask, I do with my entire being.

I nod and I rest my head back gazing up at him as his movements slow.

"do you want to try something new?"

New? With him?

Another first?

I nod biting my lip.

"Go on your hands and knees.." He shows me and I find myself gazing up towards the headboard, my hands clutching into the bedsheets.

"If it's too much, tell me to stop okay?"

"Okay…"

I nod and he kneels behind me.

Suddenly, I feel him enter me and this new position makes it feels deeper, like he's pushing further into me, the pressure feels heightened and my eyes close in pure blissful pleasure.

I bite my lip harder and harder taking in the feeling of him thrusting into me from behind.

He starts off slow, his hands roaming my back, my breasts, my ass cheeks.

I'm panting, I'm panting hard.

It feels amazing and I can't stop the moans escaping my lips.

"Chr-Christian…I…." I can barely talk from the pleasure of feeling him. He's hitting the right spot every single time and my stomach is clenching harder and harder until I can no longer control it. My hands and arms, legs and feet starting to tremble with passion.

"Fuck Ana…me too baby…cum for me… cum…for me Ana" He groans and together, we reach our climax.

Both of our bodies becoming sloppy and limp as we pant breathlessly.

I lay down on my stomach trying to catch my breath, my eyes remaining closed as our bodies glisten with sweat.

He lays beside me on his back and I can hear his rapid breathing.

"You okay?" He whispers as he moves to nuzzle against my neck. His arms moving around my body calmly me and his hand stroking my lower back in an attempt to soothe me.

"Mhmm…" Is all I can manage and he chuckles kissing the back of my shoulder.

"I love you"

"I love you"

That was truly amazing.

Making love to him, another first with him, everything with him is amazing. I trust him with my whole heart.

I move onto my side and I curl up beside him as he lifts the blankets around our breathless bodies.

Moving his arm back around my waist holding me close.

I rest my head against his chest, and I can feel the beating of his heart against my ear.

"Do you have any plans tomorrow?" He whispers and I shake my head.

"Shall we take Teddy to see the new house?"

My smile grows at the thought and I tilt my head up to look at him.

"I think he'd like that" I nod and I watch as his smile grows while he leans down to kiss me softly.

"Me too…I'm glad I found something before Christmas, I think it's going to be wonderful"

"It's a beautiful house, I think Teddy is going to love it"

"Yeah, he's going to love the gardens…he's never had that here"

"when do you think we'll move in?"

"Elliot has said definitely before Christmas so hopefully within the next 4 weeks"

I nod smiling more as I place a kiss to his shoulder and his arm pulls me even closer to him.

Christmas isn't too far away, only a few weeks maybe?

I should probably start shopping, maybe I could take my Mom with me? Or Christian's Mom?

Or Kate and Mia?

Hmm...

What do I even buy someone who already has so much stuff? And enough money to buy the world?

I bite my lip and I gaze up at him to find him already asleep. His eyes are closed with a small smile on his lips. His body is warm and relaxed as he sleeps peacefully keeping his arms around me.

He really is my everything now.

The next morning when I wake, Christian is gone but I can hear Teddy's laughs coming from the living room making my smile grow.

Last night…

Last night was a whirlwind.

Teddy's words. I wonder if he remembers? I wonder if he'll say it again?

And then I was on my knees in front of Christian as I made him hiss and groan at my actions.

And then a new position. A new position that made me feel all sorts of new things… more pressure, deeper, allowing his hands to roam my body as freely as he liked.

It was blissful.

When I found Christian asleep next to me my mind went into thinking of the future. The thought of Christmas with them both, the thought of waking up on Christmas morning seeing Teddy's excitable little face.  
I wonder if i'll have a new job by then too?

I pull on my leggings and one of his shirts before I make my way out into the living room.

Teddy is playing with his cars on the floor while Christian is on the phone.

"Today? At 1? That's perfect….yes…thankyou…yes…yes…okay….yes….she'll be there. Thankyou"

I listen curiously.

She'll be there?

He puts his phone back into his pocket when he sees me and his lips curl into a smile.

"Good morning"

"Morning" I smile.

His arms move around my waist as he kisses me softly.

As soon as Teddy hears my voice he comes running over and attaching himself to my leg making me smile and giggle against Christian's lips.

"There's my little monkey!" I lift him onto my hip and he giggles resting his head onto my shoulder.

"ickle monkey!"

"Yes you are my little monkey" I tickle his tummy making him wriggle and laugh in my arms.

Christian watching in awe as I hold his son.

He kisses both of our heads before handing me a cup of tea.

I sit at the island and placing Teddy in my lap where he seems content to just cuddle against my chest.

"Who was on the phone earlier?" I sip my tea and he smirks at me.

Why is he smirking?

"Remember last night? The appointment? Well, I made one for you… today at 1"

Oh…

I get it.

Birth control.

I bite my lip as I feel my cheeks burning with a bright red blush.

And so….It begins.

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Thanks to one or two 'anonymous' reviews, I have been a little demotivated with my chapters recently so I apologize for the lack of updates over the last couple of days.

Despite the hundreds of amazing reviews, it's the harsh negatives ones that cause the issues.

But I'm getting back on my game thanks to some inspirational comments from so many of you readers and I just want to say a big thank you to every single one of you. It really means a great deal to me that you continue to support my work and stories.

My advice for the people making harsh comments? If you don't like the story, or the errors in my writing and grammar...then please just don't read it. I'm not a perfect author, I don't have a proofreader at my beck and call and nor do I have the money to pay a high-end grammar corrector to go through my chapters. It's all on me and I will make mistakes, I'm only human.

By all means give me constructive criticism, I'll willingly accept that and take your advice on board. Just don't be a dick about it yeah?

I write because I enjoy it, I write because it takes me away from reality and the harsh world we live in.

So please...

HAVE COURAGE AND BE KIND PEOPLE!


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48…

Watching her, sitting there with my son in her lap after the events of last night has my mind reeling with thoughts.

When should I pop the question to her?

As soon as I get the ring?

When we move into the house?

Before that? Or After?

Christmas eve?

Or maybe Christmas day?

There are so many possibilities but which one do I choose?

Christmas is coming up soon and I suppose it would be one to remember if I did it then?

I want it to be perfect and I want to make her mine as soon as possible before another man snatches her from my claws.

"Who was on the phone earlier?"

That's another thing. After that day in the new house, feeling her warmth around me without that shitty piece of plastic around me made me want to feel her every time after, so I figured I'd let her lay in and relax and book an appointment with mine and Teddy's doctor. I trust them because they signed an NDA and I'm not taking any chances with anyone.

I wanted to just do something for her while I let her sleep in and this situation would benefit both of us.

"Remember last night? The appointment? Well, I made you one… today at 1"

I look at her with a smirk but it soon fades when her cheeks turn a bright red and her smile fades a little.

"Oh…."

"Oh? Did you not want to?"

"I do, I just…I thought we were going to talk about it first?"

Fuck. I fucked up.

"I thought you agreed you would?"

"Yeah, but…" She sighs, "It's okay…it's fine".

She seems a little edgy. Oh fuck.

"Ana…" I move beside her and she strokes through Teddy's hair smiling at him.

Maybe, this isn't a conversation in front of Teddy.

"Hey, little monkey…" She tickles his tummy making him laugh, "Daddy and I have a surprise for you…"

"What suwpwise?" He looks up at her excitedly.

"Well, if we tell you it won't be a surprise…but if you want to get dressed we can show you" She grins.

She's trying to distract him.

"Otays!" He says excitedly and he rushes off into his room.

I look at her, suddenly feeling a little sheepish. I fucked up.

"Ana…I'm sorry, I just thought…"

"It's okay…I thought we'd talk about it before I booked anything that's all…I'm just nervous about it I guess, I've never had to think about birth control before now and I just don't know what to expect or what to ask for… and with a new Doctor too, I've always had the same one you know? "

"I'm sorry, I thought, I thought I'd let you lay in and it would be a good surprise, I guess not. I'm sorry. I fucked up" I move to her kissing her forehead, "I can cancel it?"

"No..No…It's okay, it'll be okay. I'm just…nervous. Thank you for booking it"

"Are you sure? This Doctor is mine and Teddy's, well, one of them anyway…I thought you'd be more comfortable with the female? She's signed an NDA so there won't be any worries " I explain trying to calm her nerves as I move my hands to her waist.

I can tell she's nervous and knowing she's not an open person about her personal details, I should have realized she'd be worried.

A new doctor, talking about her body, of course she's going to feel embarrassed and awkward. Fuck, I would be too. I should have thought about this and asked her first, I realise that now.

But luckily, she nods leaning into my embrace.

"Did we just have our first argument?" I tease trying to lighten the mood. And to my surprise, I hear a small laugh escape her lips.

"That was not an argument, just a discussion" She smirks.

"That's the first discussion I've ever had where my hand hasn't gone through a wall" I grin and she laughs softly stroking my cheek.

"I love you…"

"I love you too"

I kiss her softly.

"Daddy! Ana! Weady!"

Teddy comes running out, dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt.

He most definitely has my taste. Handsome little guy.

But I notice the Mommy phrase last night has disappeared.

Hmm…

Sleep talking maybe?

I swing him into my arms kissing his cheek making him giggle.

"Where's going Daddy?"

"It's a surprise" I smirk making him smile and cuddle into my shoulder.

"Ana yous coming?"

"Yeah sweetheart, I'm coming"

"Yayyyyy!" He grins excitedly. He's such a charmer, I wonder where gets that from too.

Giving Ana a small wink before she heads back into our room after the delicious breakfast Gail made for us.

Ana gets dressed into her clothes and when she emerges her hair is up in a ponytail, her legs toned and enticing in a pair of denim skinny jeans and a plain black T-shirt.

It's such a simple outfit but she looks as beautiful as ever.

I see her blushing when she notices my gaze, making me chuckle. I love how she still reacts to me as if it was the first time.

I kiss the top of her head, Teddy giggling as he leans over copying me and his lips press against her too.

She laughs lovingly at him and he reaches to be in her arms which she willingly accepts.

"Wuvs you Ana and Daddy"

"We love you too sweetheart" Ana kisses his head right back and my heart is full.

I watch as his smile grows and his little head rests into the crook of her neck, smiling as he feels her hand gently stroking his back comfortingly.

"Ready?" I smile and Ana replies with a simple nod.

We make our way to the car, Taylor following behind as we head off towards the new house.

Gazing at Teddy in the rearview mirror, chuckling as his eyes grow curious.

"Where's we goin?" He asks again and Ana smirks at me.

"We're almost there buddy, I promise you're going to love it"

We head through the gates and up the driveway.

I take Ana's hand as we stop and we both turn at the same time to see Teddy's reaction.

"Dats a big house Daddy! It's wike Gwandmas!" His smile grows and finally, he pulls his gaze from the house to look at us.

"Do you like it?" He smiles nodding.

"Who's house is it Daddy?"

"It's ours, Buddy, Daddy bought it for us"

His eyes widen like they're about to pop out of their sockets.

Ana laughs at his reaction.

"Weally?"

"Really Really, do you like it?"

"Yeah!" He wriggles excited to get himself out of his seat.

Climbing out, Ana gazes up at the building as I move to get Teddy.

"Wows!" Getting a better view, his eyes are everywhere.

"You wanna go look inside?"

"Yesssssss!" He grins and his little feet move up the 3 steps towards the door.

But first, he stops.

He looks at me, then to Ana who's eyes are still gazing up at the building.

I watch him.

The little light bulb above his head flickering with thoughts.

"What is it, Buddy?"

"Is….Is…" He looks to Ana, "Is Ana wiving hewes too?"

Her smile grows when she hears little voice and she walks over, kneeling in front of him.

"Would that be okay with you?" She says softly as she opens her arms for him.

His adorable lips curl into the brightest of smiles and he leaps into her arms, wrapping his little hands around her neck.

"Yes!"He squeals.

That's my boy!

I laugh at his reaction before taking the key to the front door as Ana follows behind me with Teddy in her arms.

When I open the door, I hear Teddy gasp at the sight before him.

He is in awe.

"Is dis da suwpwise?"

I chuckle nodding, "Do you like it?"

"Yeah! It's so bigs!"

Ana giggles as she holds him until he starts to wriggle out of her arms wanting to explore.

"Do you wanna pick your bedroom?"

"Weally? Cans I?"

"Mhmm…come on" His little legs move up the stairs faster than I have ever seen them go, following him close behind Ana laughs at my attempts to slow run beside him.

"Ana! Comes and sees!" He calls out to her, his little hand waving excitedly from the top of the stairs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming" She laughs following up behind us.

"Okay buddy, there are 5 bedrooms….this one here is going to be Daddy's and Ana's" I open the door revealing the large master bedroom, the one Ana and I decided on the last time we were here.

Overlooking the garden grounds and with the glistening lake in the distance.

I can't fucking wait to move in here with them. I can't wait to sleep in this room with her. I can't wait to make love to her, right here in our new room.

"Dats a big woom"

I ruffle his hair nodding, "let's go pick your room…"

We make our way up the corridor opening every door to the other 4 bedrooms.

"Uhm….Uhmm…." He runs up and down looking in every single room inspecting it from top to bottom.

I slip my hand around Ana's waist as we stand there simply in awe watching him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… I'm perfect" She smiles and leans up kissing me softly. I love feeling her lips against mine.

"I no knows!" Teddy sighs in defeat making us both laugh against each other's lips.

"You want some help sweetheart?"

He nods and his little legs rush to her side, reaching up for her hand and taking her back through all 4 rooms.

"Well…this one is right next to our room…and look at that view…But then this room…well, this room a lot bigger, which means you could have more books or toys…maybe a bigger bed?"

He grins nodding making me chuckle as I listen to them.

"Then this one…wow, look at that lake!" She says making him giggle before he runs and attaches himself to Ana's leg.

"I wants da first one!"

"The first one?"

He nods smiling, "By Ana and Daddy".

"You sure Buddy?"

He nods smiling and rushes back to that very room.

Luckily for us, the house is big and the room isn't right next door, it's a little way down the corridor.

Thank fuck because otherwise I'd have to sound proof the walls.

Ana walks to me, a smile on her lips.

"I love you"

"And I love you…"

I kiss her softly and then we make our way to the room Teddy has chosen.

"Wheres my bed Daddy? Am I sweeping on da floor?"

Ana laughs as she leans into my embrace.

"No Buddy, we have to buy you a brand new bed…and your uncle Elliot is decorating your room however you want okay?"

"Weally? Unc Ewiot?"

"Yeah… Uncle Elliot is going to ask you what you want in here and then he's going to plan the whole thing"

"Wows" Teddy smiles standing in the middle of the room, his eyes bright with excitement as he looks around.

"Do you like it, sweetheart?" Ana asks him as we both stand in the doorway.

He nods excitedly and sprints over to us, hugging both of our legs.

"Wuvs my house and wuvs my famiwy"

Lifting him into my arms, Ana slides her arm gently around him too so we're huddled together.

"We love you too Buddy"

"Lots and lots" Ana smiles.

After showing him the gardens and the rest of the house we have to take our leave to be in time for Ana's appointment.

I can tell she's nervous due to her quietness the whole car ride back and her hands are trembling in her lap.

"Hey….you okay?"

I reach over the seat, taking her hand in my own in an attempt to calm her.

"Yeah… just a little, nervous"

"I can still cancel it if you want me too? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" I say guiltily kissing her knuckles.

"No, it's okay…I need to do this. It's just new for me…and talking to someone about well, you know…that stuff. I just feel awkward"

She's so innocent it astounds me.

I kiss her knuckles once more, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'll be okay, you stay with Teddy" She smiles looking out the window towards the building.

"I love you"

"I love you too" I kiss her softly.

"Cans I come Ana?"

I knew that would happen, wherever Ana goes, Teddy isn't far behind her. He adores her so much and hates being out of her sight.

I'm dreading the moment where we have to tell him about a possible new job for her, he's going to be heartbroken not having her at the school with him.

"Ana will be back in a little while Buddy, shall we get some ice cream while we wait?"

"Yeaaaah!" He claps his little hands making Ana laugh.

"You sure you're okay?"

She nods smiling and kisses me once more before she takes her leave and heading into the building.

Teddy and I make our way to the small ice cream parlor just down the street.

"Which one?" I lift Teddy into my arms letting him gaze through the glass at the dozens of flavors.

"Uhmmm….. gween one pwease"

"You sure?"

He nods smiling.

"Hi there, what can I get for you today?" When she finally looks at me her eyes widen realizing who I am. Fuck, great.

"Hi..yeah, can I get a small mint and a small chocolate both in tubs with spoons please"

"Of Course Mr grey" She smiles starting the order.

Teddy curling into my neck as he yawns softly.

"He's so sweet," She says as she hands over the mint flavor for Teddy.

I simply nod taking the tub from her and handing it to Teddy who digs in eagerly.

Then my chocolate.

After handing her a $10 we leave heading back to the car.

Ana shouldn't be too much longer.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah Buddy?"

"Is Ana my Mommy now?"

My smile grows and I turn in my seat to look at him.

After our conversation, I can answer him.

"Ana loves you very and I think she would love to be your Mommy"

"Weally?"

"Do you want to help Daddy ask Ana to marry me? And you can ask her to be your Mommy too? How does that sound?"

"Yayyyyyy! Todays?"

I chuckle, he's so eager.

"Not today, Daddy has to wait for Ana's ring to come back first"

Then I see her emerge from the building.

"She's coming back, our little secret okay?"

He nods, his face covered in ice cream, "Pwomise Daddy".

"That's my boy" I ruffle his hair.

She opens the car door climbing in.

"How did it go?"

She has a smile on her face so that must be a good sign?

"It was fine, she was really nice…Thank you for making the appointment" She leans over kissing my cheek. And just like that, her nervousness has gone. I didn't fuck up as much as I thought I did.

Internally grinning hard.

"I'm glad…so what did she say?"

"She went through the options, but we both decided the pill form was the best option for now…I have to refrain from any activity for 4 weeks though"

"What?!"

What the fuck?

4 weeks?

Why the fuck is that a thing?

Fuck.

She must notice the surprise in my eyes when her lips form the biggest smirk as she whispers, "Just teasing….".

"You're a tease Miss Steele"

"Mmm…" she grins laughing. I teasingly glare.

It almost gave me a heart attack.

She turns looking to Teddy and when I hear her laugh I'm too afraid to turn around.

"Is that nice sweetheart?"

"Mhmm...Ana wants some?"

"No thank you, you enjoy it" She smiles.

I finally give in and I turn to look at him.

Oh fuck, it's everywhere.

His jeans.

His shirt.

His cheeks.

His nose.

Fuck, even his hair.

Thank fuck we are going home because someone, needs a bath.

I laugh at the sight of him but at least he's enjoyed it.

Making the drive home, climbing out of the car and carrying a messy Teddy up into the apartment.

Ana at our side reading the leaflet that came with her new birth control.

I'm so glad the appointment went okay for her and finally, fuck finally I don't have to worry about those stupid fucking plastic condoms!

"Okay, messy monkey lets get you cleaned up"

He wriggles laughing getting ice cream all over me now too.

Thanks, Buddy.

Ana's phone starts to ring and she pulls it from her pocket looking curiously at the number.

"Who's that?"

"I'm not sure"

Her thumb presses against the green button, "Hello? Oh…Hi Mr. Roach..yes..yes…really? Oh, my goodness thank you so so much!"

It's SIP.

Fuck.

That sounds positive.

Has she got it? It definitely sounds like it.

Fuck.

"Of course, that's amazing…I'll see you then, thank you again! Bye...Bye…"

She hangs up and looks up at me.

Her eyes glistening with pride and excitement.

"I got it"

"Ana…that's amazing! Congratulations!"

"I got the job…I can't believe it!"

I open my free arm out to her and she willingly moves into mine and Teddy's embrace.

"I knew you would" I kiss her head smiling brightly. I feel so fucking proud of her right now. That's my girl.

Finally, her dreams are becoming a reality.

Fucking incredible.

"When do you start?"

"He wants me to go in on Monday after school to sign some papers, fill in some forms and fill in my bank details…and then he wants me to start the job a week Monday…Oh gosh, I'll have to see Candice first thing Monday to tell her I'm leaving the school" Her words are rushed in a panic.

"Ana...Ana...calm. I'm so proud of you. It's going to be fine, She'll understand, this is your dream. It's everything you've always wanted... you have to take it"

Her eyes are worried, I can tell as she looks at me. But after my words she smiles softly and nods in agreement.

I hear a little sniffle coming from my shoulder and when I look down, Teddy is watching, his eyes glossy and I hear his little sniffle again.

"Teddy? What's wrong?"

He rests his head into my neck wiping his little eyes in my shirt.

"Ana no comes to school wiv me no more?" He mumbles as the tears fill his eyes even more.

He's such a clever boy but it makes me sad.

I knew this day would come, Fuck.

He's crying.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Thanks for all of your wonderful and supporting reviews. Here's another chapter to say thank you for the motivational support.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49…

Christmas Eve

Christian and I both have the next 7 days off work to spend time as a family and to give all of our attention to little Teddy.

Since I resigned from the school and moved to SIP, I try to spend as much time with Teddy as possible.

I felt so guilty about leaving there and he was so upset when we explained I wouldn't be there anymore. He pulled at my heartstrings every time I'd see him walk in there. Luckily though, after we explained that now I was living with them forever that he would still see me every single day when he finished school and after a little while of coaxing him he finally came around.

Candice was fully understanding when I told her. She was so happy to know I was finally following my dreams.

And Mrs. Morgan, well what can I say? She was just as devastated as Teddy that I was leaving her classroom too, but as Christian said…this is something I've always wanted and despite leaving the school, it will always hold a dear piece of my heart.

I owe everything to that school. Thanks to Candice for hiring me, I met the most adorable shy and timid little guy who finally came out of his shell. By befriending him, I met the love of my life… even though we met at a club beforehand but you get what I mean. I live in the most amazing house with two of the most important people in my life now and thanks to meeting them, thanks to their love and understanding I have the job I've always dreamt of. That job at the school was the beginning of the rest of my life.

But now, I'm moving on…SIP has been incredible so far.

I'm really enjoying it there too which is the bonus.

I fit in, I've made friends and not only that I'm doing what I love.

Every day I'm learning more, I'm doing more and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

The hours are really good too. Some days I'll work 9-3, others 10-4 or 10-6 if there are meetings.

Which is great because with Teddy being so sad I'm not in the classroom anymore, I get the chance to drop him off to school or pick him up. Picking him up is the best because I'm greeted with the biggest smile and the tightest of cuddles.

I rarely stay on later than 6 which I absolutely love because when I get home I'm greeted by the two most important people in my life.

And home, of course…

We moved out of the apartment and 2 weeks ago were finally settled and moved into the house. Boxes unpacked and our closets filled with clothes.

Teddy loves it here, it's so big he's constantly in awe of the number of new rooms he's finding and the secret cupboards located all around the house. And seeing him running around and playing in the gardens is so heartwarming.

Elliot has done a fantastic job, he's designed it with the perfect color schemes that we wanted and It's just so us, we've made it completely and utterly ours now.

It didn't take us long to settle into the house, I think Teddy had more stuff than I and Christian had put together. Between his books and toys and everything else he wanted to pack away.

Teddy's room is set up like a jungle which he completely adores and mine and Christian's room is a stylish and modern dark wood color in an attempt to make it look like a cabin in the woods. We have a fake fire for safety reasons but the real thing is downstairs in the living room. The wooden floor has small fluffy rugs dotted beside the bed and in front of the fireplace, the cabin-like beams in the ceiling really set off the theme too. And to top it off the view is absolutely beautiful.

Neither of us can believe it's ours and neither of us can believe this is our house now.

Surprisingly everything has been going swimmingly.

I actually went Christmas shopping 3 times.

Once with my Mom.

Once with Grace.

And another with Mia and Kate.

My Mom and Dad are getting along great again and honestly? The anger I once felt has completely faded away.

Seeing them together again now actually makes my heart melt.

They finally seem happy, both of them.

Dad is doing so much better too, he's finally up and walking about on his own being the stubborn and determined man that he is.

My Mom, well… she has changed. Changed for the better most definitely.

The only heartbreaking issue is that her chemotherapy for her cancer starts in January. She's been on these tablets for a while now but scan after scan, dose after dose, they haven't been working so now they're taking it to the next step, the Intravenous.

Hopefully, this will work. Hopefully, she'll get better.

I do hope so because seeing how happy she and my Dad are right now, at this moment? I don't want that to ever fade away. Not again.

They've accepted Teddy and Christian as their own family now too and the way they interact with little Teddy is wonderful to watch.

It makes me sad watching them though, to know that if this treatment doesn't work my Mom might never see me get married, or have a baby or any of that stuff….and honestly? that breaks my heart a little.

But at least now I know she is proud of me, despite the past events and feelings, she's here now and she's proud and we have to think about the positives.

There's also been no word, no sight and no noise from Mrs. Robinson what so ever! Which I am glad of. Not even a sighting at the Grey event last week.

Finally, his Mom and Dad have agreed to move on, they'll never forget or forgive..of course, they wouldn't, they probably can't. But because of his wishes, they're allowing Christian to move on with his life.

Kate and Elliot have gotten closer too which I'm surprised at. Kate always said she wouldn't settle down anytime soon and knowing Elliot, I didn't think he would either but they both seem very…very…very…smitten. So smitten I might even hear those wedding bells ringing already!

And Jose….gosh Jose.

Despite everything that happened he's always been one of my best friends. He and Kate have been through everything with me. When I bumped into him at the mall just last week, he asked for forgiveness and I gave it to him.

Of course, I told Christian about seeing him at the mall and with the promise that I'll never be with him alone…he's dealing with the fact I've forgiven his actions that night at the club. Jose realizes how foolish he was and I truly believe he is sorry. But of course, I'll be weary from now on and I don't think things could or will ever be the same again. Christian still doesn't trust or like him though, and honestly? I understand that.

But now everything has moved on from all of that, everything is working out for the best and it's time to have the most wonderful Christmas together.

Our shimmering Christmas lights are surrounding the entire living room, Tinsel and lights flashing against our 10 foot Christmas tree that's standing tall in the exact place Christian had imagined it to be. Thanks to Teddy it's the best decorated Christmas tree I have ever seen. The 3 of us working together to make our home into the most festive and decorative house in aid of our first Christmas spent together.

Tomorrow, everyone is coming here for Christmas day and dinner. I've decided and offered to cook as I thought it would be nice to use it as our house warming party, having everyone here and visiting now that we're finally settled in.

Well… Gail has offered to help me set everything up and help cook if I need it too.

And I can't forget my handsome little helper who is adamant he's helping me too.

I am excited though, I think it's going to be a wonderful day.

"Whens Santa coming Daddy?"

Teddy says excitedly crawling from underneath the Christmas tree looking for Santa and his presents.

I laugh watching him, he's so adorable and innocent it makes my heart melt.

Christian and I are curled up on the sofa under a blanket. The room lit with simple candles and the blazing fire in front of us.

The fireplace is our tiny sun for the evening, casting long shadows over the rug. The flames curl and sway, flicking this way and that, crackling as they burn the dry wood.

I watch the flames in a hypnotized joy before my gaze moves to where Teddy is emerging from underneath the glistening Tree.

Christian chuckles as his thumb and fingertips continue to make their circling motions against the skin on my hip as I'm curled into his body.

My fingertips playing against his free hand placed in his lap.

"He'll come when you're asleep Buddy"

"What If I no goes to sleep?"

He comes to stand right in front of us.

"Well, Santa only comes when you're sleeping, so no sleep means no presents" Christian smirks teasingly making me giggle against his shoulder.

Teddy gasps in horror before climbing up and wriggling his way in between us.

"Do you want to put the cookies and milk out for Santa?" I smile stroking my hand through his hair and he nods excitedly wrapping his arms around my neck.

I kiss his little cheek smiling before standing and carrying him into our new and fully stocked kitchen.

I grab the glass and the plate before handing him the milk carton, "Shall we pour it together?"

"Yeah!" He smiles.

"Okay, I'll hold the top, you hold the bottom okay?"

He nods taking hold of it and together we pour it perfectly.

"Cans I put da cookies on da pwate Ana?"

"Of course you can" I smile carefully opening the packet of cookies.

"Hows many?" He looks up at me.

"Hm…how many do you think you could eat?"

"Hundweds!" He laughs with a cheeky little grin.

"Hundreds? Oh my goodness!" I laugh along with him. "Shall we put maybe, 5? i don't think Santa could eat a hundred!" I tickle his tummy making him laugh.

He nods smiling as he starts to remove the cookies from the packet.

"One…..two…..Fwee….four….five! Five wike me"

"Yeah, just like you" I smile stroking his little cheek before putting him down onto his feet. "Do you think you can carry the cookies into the living room and put them on the table by the Tree so Santa can see them?"

Smiling brightly, his little head shakes in an excitable yes and I hand him the little plate.

As he holds it with both hands, he carefully moves into where Christian is sitting and he puts them down onto the table.

"I dids it! Daddy! Ana! I dids it!"

"You did it Buddy, well done…Santa is going to love them"

He giggles and runs into his father's embrace, back underneath the blanket as I place the glass of milk beside the cookies.

"Okay buddy, bedtime"

"Awww…but I no tired!" He says just as a yawn escapes his lips.

Christian laughs at his actions before standing and lifting Teddy with him.

"I'll read you a story, how about that?"

"Otays, and Ana too!" Teddy smiles.

"And Ana too," Christian says smiling towards me and I willingly nod.

We take him up to his room, tucking him into bed. The smile he has on his face is heart-melting.

He's such a happy little boy now. Since the day I first met him he's come such a long way and I love him with my whole heart. He and Christian both.

"Okay Buddy, you ready?" Teddy nods in reply as he cuddles against his little blanket.

"Cans Daddy and Ana both wead it?"

I giggle nodding and I sit beside Christian.

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house"

"Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse"

We both take the book line by line and by the time we're done, he's fast asleep with the most adorable little smile on his face.

We take our leave from his room and now that he's fast asleep we can finally start preparing the presents underneath the tree.

It feels so magical honestly.

Having a little one around at Christmas time just feels even more special and I am so thankful to be a part of their Christmas.

I just hope they both like their presents from me.

I start to clean up after our little Christmas eve movie night together and as I'm folding up the blanket we used on the sofa, I feel Christian's hands moving around my waist from behind.

I smile turning in his arms as my hand's snake around his neck.

Christian holds me a little closer, "Thank you for tonight… it's been the best Christmas eve either of us has had…"

"Me too" I lean up kissing him softly and I feel the familiar electricity run through my veins when I feel his lips curl into a smile against mine.

"Shall we get the presents?"

I nod and we make our way to the secret room, trying to be as quiet as possible as we start to bring Teddy's presents out.

"You have to eat the cookies" I smirk.

"Me? You eat them" He teases, grinning right back at me.

"Nuuh…uh…" I hold a cookie to his lips and the way he bites into it just does something to me.

I bite my lip and I'm like putty in his hands.

The fire crackling behind us, the warmth surrounding our bodies

"I love you….so much" I whisper as I gently rest my hands against his chest.

"I love you more" He grins teasing.

"Impossible"

He dips down kissing me lovingly, passionately, deeply.

"Keep kissing me like that and Santa might forget Teddy's presents….how would we explain that one?"

He whispers against my lips making me laugh.

"Better get going then…Santa…" I squeeze his ass teasingly making him smirk even more.

We are so much more confident with each other, so much more open and so much more positive.

"Does that make you Mrs. Clause?" He grins as his eyebrows raise.

"I guess it does" I wink laughing as he I watch him make his way back to the present room.

We've managed to keep that one secret from Teddy somehow. How? I have no idea because he scouted this whole place for secrets. But luckily, his presents have been stored in there for the last couple weeks and he has no clue.

Once we've pulled all of the presents out we start to wrap and pack them underneath the tree.

"Shall I open a bottle of wine?"

"That would be lovely" I smile continuing to wrap.

Christian soon returns with two glasses and a bottle.

Two hours later all the presents are wrapped and the bottle is gone. I smirk moving over to him and straddling his lap.

My fingertips gently caressing the back of his neck as he gazes up into my eyes.

The reflection of the blaring fire burning in his grey piercing eyes.

The warmth radiating from the flames around our bodies.

My body heating even more when I feel his hands move to the top of my thighs under his shirt.

"Is this my Christmas present?" He whispers as his forehead rests against my chest and his fingertips fumble with the buttons on his shirt.

I still always wear his shirt, it's a thing now.

I honestly do not need pajamas anymore.

"Mm…Unfortunately for you, it's not Christmas yet" I whisper teasing him.

"I think I deserve mine early" He grins up at me making me laugh.

He finally undoes the last button revealing my white lace bra and I feel my stomach somersault when I see his usual wide grin at the sight of my body.

He makes me feel so beautiful.

I lean back and I pull my hair over my one shoulder before leaning forward again and kissing him softly to start.

Our lips barely brushing but with my body straddling his waist I can already feel his want for me.

But I continue to tease him, leaving small soft kisses against his impatient waiting lips. My hands teasing the hem of his shirt before I slowly lift it over his head with his lips ready and waiting for me as the fabric passes over his face.

"You're a tease" He groans against my shoulder and I smirk more.

"But you love me…" I whisper against his ear as I press a kiss against the skin on his neck.

"I do…" He grips my waist flipping me over to lay back against the fluffy rug in front off the fire, making me laugh as he does so.

I bite my lip gazing up into his lusting blaring eyes.

I can hear the crackle and hiss of the roaring fire beside my body, the heat feeling divine mixing with my own heat forming thanks to Christian pressing between my legs.

"You're mine now…it's my turn to tease" He nips the bottom of my ear lobe making me gasp softly.

"What if Teddy wakes up?" I whisper as he starts to kiss down my jawline.

"He won't he was exhausted, but We'll hear his little feet if he does," He says just before he bites down at my pulse point making my body arch against him in pleasure.

My body writhing from his pleasure already and we're only just starting.

Our kisses becoming wanting and needing, our bodies unable to separate.

I'm so glad I finally started that birth control because now there's no worry of condoms.

Feeling him…well you know, inside of me. It was a sensation I couldn't imagine. But once it happened, once I knew why Christian wanted me on birth control too, I was glad we ditched the rubber.

It was like a next-level feeling, becoming more intimate, becoming closer to him. Both of us becoming one.

His kisses move down my chest, down my torso to my panty line and with his teeth, he pulls them down my legs.

Gazing down watching him, panting breathlessly.

Christian kisses up my leg, from my ankles to right where I need him most.

And…Oh, right there.

My eyes close in pleasure, my lips forming a perfect 'O' as his tongue teases my folds.

Sucking against the sensitive bud making my body shake and writhe against his lips.

I run my hand through his hair, gently tugging from the pleasure he's forming in my body as my nerve endings stand to attention.

As my pleasure heightens, I can feel the pressure building and building until I throw my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle my moans and yelling his name in euphoria.

But then he stops, he stops just as I'm about to….

He kneels up removing his jeans and boxers and with one swift movement, he's inside of me.

His body rocking between my thighs, his moans and hisses against my ear sending me over the edge once again.

"Ch-Christian…." I moan against his shoulder, biting down against his skin trying to kill my sounds, afraid if I'm too loud I'll wake little Teddy and I would be mortified to be caught like this.

Our bodies moving together in unison, our bodies glistening with sweat from the sex and the roaring fire beside us.

Our breathing matching pace and our kisses passionate and needy.

"Fuck…Ana…." He moans, cherishing and worshiping my body and I worship his. My hands roaming every inch of him that I can. His shoulders, his chest, his torso.

My hands slide down his back and my hands grip his ass causing us both to moan loudly as he takes me even deeper.

"FUCK ANA!"

"Shhh…." I laugh against his lips until he pushes even further again and I'm tipped over the edge myself. "Ahhh….Christian….." I move my hand back over my mouth as my pleasure takes over my body.

"I Love you, Fuck I love you…." He whimpers in pleasure as he spills his seed inside of me. And I love the feeling of it.

With one more of his thrusts, I'm reaching my own climax, our bodies shaking in pure pleasure.

I love feeling his skin against mine.

I love feeling his muscles contract against me.

I love hearing his moans, especially when he moans my name at the climax of his pleasure.

I love having sex and making love with him.

He's my everything.

Moving my arms around him letting his body calm with my own. His face hiding into the crook of my neck as I close my eyes, breathlessly enjoying listening to the crackling of wood and feeling the heat from the fire surround our glistening after sex bodies.

What an amazing Christmas Eve it's been….so far.

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	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50…

"DADDY! ANA! IT'S CHWISTMAS! WAKES UP!"

Our bed stirs with a bouncing little monkey jumping up and down on our mattress.

Ana jolts awake at the sudden impact of the bed bouncing beneath us.

I chuckle peeping one eye open to look up at her. She looks so beautiful in the morning.

"What time is it?" I groan tiredly and Ana looks to the clock.

"5 am" She smirks poking my nose. "Wakey Wakey Mr. Grey, It's Christmas"

"It's chwistmas Daddy! Santa's been! Santa's been!"

Ana laughs as he continues to bounce up and down, and with such excitement, he jumps into Ana's arms. "Merry Christmas sweetheart" She says as she holds him close, tickling his little tummy.

He wriggles and writhes at her tickling assaults.

He's so excited for today, but honestly? So am I.

Our first Christmas together.

A Christmas with no drama or fighting.

A Christmas with no sadness.

Finally, a Christmas where Teddy and I can relax and enjoy the day.

I just hope our little secret plan goes as well as I'm hoping it to.

"Mewwy Chwistmas Ana And Daddy!"

Suddenly. His body is pouncing on top of mine making me laugh even more as I wrap my arms around him kissing his face.

"Merry Christmas Buddy"

"Santa been Daddy?"

"I guess we'll have to go downstairs and find out won't we?"

"Yeaaaaaaah!"

Ana laughs at his excitement.

I climb out of the bed just in my boxer shorts. I knew he'd coming run here at the break of dawn, it's Christmas morning and I was expecting it. He's way too excited to wait any longer so I warned Ana before we fell asleep last night.

After our moment in front of the fire, I would have willingly held her naked body against mine all night long, feeling every inch of her skin against my own.

But luckily, we put some items of clothing back on in preparation for our excitable little monkey to come barging in here early hours.

Ana emerges from the blankets too, wearing my shirt and a pair of shorts.

I quickly pull on a pair of my joggers before Teddy is bouncing off the bed and into my arms.

"Cans we go, Daddy! Pwease!"

I chuckle at his enthusiasm.

"Okay, okay…."

The 3 of us make our way downstairs and as soon as we reach the bottom step, I put him down onto his little feet and he's gone like the speed of light, rushing as fast as he can through the house and into the living room.

"WOWS! DADDY! ANA! COMES WOOK! SANTA CAMES!"

He squeals in pure delight.

Ana laughs hearing his little voice and I snake my arm around her waist kissing the top of her head, "Merry Christmas beautiful, I love you"

"Merry Christmas handsome, I love you more" She grins cupping my cheek and kisses me softly.

"WOOK! PWESENTS!"

He comes running back through the door and towards our legs as he holds up a little box present. I'm sure it's one of the many toy cars we wrapped, but there are so many other presents for him too.

Ana takes his hand and he eagerly escorts us into the room.

"Oh my goodness look at all of these! You must have been a very good boy this year huh?" Ana ruffles his hair making him giggle and nod before his little feet take him back over to the tree.

All three of us sitting around helping him open them.

Cars, books, clothes, animals, chocolate, DVD's and so much more. He's never been into video games or anything like that, he's such a quiet and shy little thing he prefers books and toy cars instead. Buying for him can be quite difficult sometimes.

"Santa ated all our cookies and milk!" He points to the table and there's only one cookie left. The one with a bite taken out of it. The bite I took of it just before Ana and I made love in front of the fire. I think that was my favorite time having sex with her so far. I remember every single time I've made love to her, every time being memorable but last night was just, fucking amazing. It was so intimate, romantic…the fire, just everything about last night was simply perfect.

I wink at Ana making her lips curl into an even brighter smile.

All of his presents under the tree are open now and he's so happy.

"Teddy?"

"Yeah?" He smiles hearing Ana call him and he walks over to her and making himself comfortable in her lap.

"Did you see that big one over there?" She points to the corner of the room.

That was the last one we both wrapped together last night and it's the biggest.

He loves his cars and he has a long time to wait until he can have his own, but….I have my ways.

I smirk as he rushes over. His little fingers pulling at the corners of the wrapping paper in an attempt to unwrap it.

When it's finally gone, the big plain box just sits there.

"Whats is it?" He turns looking to us and I chuckle moving beside him and with a simple movement to the top of the cardboard box, the front flap props forward revealing a grey Audi TT sit in remote control sit in car for Teddy.

He absolutely loves playing with his little toy cars but now, now he can sit in one and drive it around the gardens himself. I thought it the perfect gift now we're finally moved into this house. He can finally play and drive around in it wherever and whenever he likes. The gardens being the most perfect place for him to do so.

I had the license plate made with Teddy's name on it too.

'T3DDY'

"Wows! Is dat for me?" His eyes are wide in complete surprise.

"Yeah look, it has your name on it, see?" I kneel beside him pointing to the license plate before I carefully wheel it out of the box.

"I cans sits in it! Daddy! Ana! Wook!" He opens the door climbing into it making the both of us laugh as Ana places herself beside me, her arm resting around my back and leaning into my body.

She seems a little emotional as her smile is loving but her eyes are brightly watching little Teddy get all excited about his new toy.

I guess this is her first real family Christmas too, I bet before it's just been her and her Dad. I just hope it's everything she's wanted it to be.

"I wook wikes Daddy now! Vrooooommmmm!" He squeals grinning up at us. Ana laughs at his excitement as she stands beside me.

I did indeed get a car just like mine. Well, not quite the same but it's an Audi so it's the same company and similar in style. And hearing his words has my heart exploding with love for him.

He is just like me, like father like son.

I love him so so much and I want to give him the entire world if I can.

After two hours of present opening, it's now 7.30.

Now it's Ana's turn and she disappears before quickly returning to hand me a few gifts.

She did buy for Teddy too but those were included in the million presents that were under the tree for him. We wanted to keep it magical, as if Santa brought them all for him. He'll know the truth when he's older of course, but for now I love seeing his innocence at the magic of it all.

"Merry Christmas" She whispers as her lips come into contact with my cheek.

My smile growing. I figured she'd buy me gifts but this is more than I could have hoped for.

I open them one by one…

A beautiful silver Rolex watch, with an engraving on the back. 'I love you, A'.

A new grey tie.

A few small bits, books, cufflinks, aftershave and socks. All the usual manly gifts. I laugh at the socks though, is it even Christmas if you don't receive socks?

And then a large canvas. A canvas of the photo that was taken of the three of us at My Mom and Dad's charity event.

Ana's laughing, looking up at me and Teddy. Teddy has the brightest smile with his one little arm around my neck and the other resting on Ana's shoulder. And then, I'm looking at them both with such love in my eyes.

As I stare at it...I stare at it for such a long time I barely recognize myself in the photo honestly.

The smile on my face and the love in my eyes. I've never seen it in any of my pictures before then.

The pictures before them were filled with despair, sadness, loss, and anger. Every photo I have before this one is fake, with a fake smile, a fake laugh and you can see the fake reflecting in my eyes. But this photo, I can see the change in me. I can see how far I've come and it's all thanks to them.

"I love you…I love you so so much. Thank you, these are… the best gifts I've ever gotten" I kiss her softly.

She also must have spent a fortune, I know she's getting a better pay now she's at SIP but it's nothing compared to what I'm earning. Rolex's aren't cheap and she hasn't only bought for me, she's bought for everyone.

I bet she's been saving for weeks just to afford it all.

But, when she's my wife she will want for nothing and that's a promise.

I kiss her with everything I have, my emotions are running wild after seeing that canvas. It's beautiful.

She smiles against my lips, "I love you too" She whispers before I stand, moving to the fireplace taking down the simple painting of the lake and replacing it with the canvas.

I think…I think it's time honestly.

After everything she has done for me and everything she is continuing to do, I never ever want to lose her.

"you know….I think Santa left some presents outside?"

"I fink so too!" Teddy grins knowing what I mean.

It's time.

Teddy rushes to Ana and takes her hand, she looks baffled and confused but follows Teddy outside.

Luckily, while we were sleeping Sawyer managed to bring the car around.

With a large green bow on the roof, I thought with the car being red, green would be the perfect Christmas color pairing.

"Wait…what? Christian, you got me a car?! I…"

Her hand moves over her mouth when she notices the license plate. I didn't want to make her name too obvious on there but I wanted to make a statement. If she doesn't like it or if she refuses my proposal she can change it.

'A GR3Y'

When she turns to face me, I'm already down on one knee holding up the red leather box towards her.

Teddy giggling excitedly as he runs in a circle around us. This is the moment we've been planning for weeks. This is what he's been waiting for. This is what I've wanted for a long time…

Now…

I just hope she says yes.

I must admit I feel nervously awkward and my hands are trembling.

As soon as she turned to face me, I felt the rush of anxiety and fear burn through my veins.

Fear that she may say no.

But wait...

She's crying.

Fuck, she's crying but her smile is wide and bright.

At least she's smiling. That's a good thing, right?

My lips curl into a small nervous smile.

"Ana…"

She sobs when I say her name and her hand moves over her mouth once again as she gazes down at the sparkling engagement ring in front of her.

"Since the moment I met you, I fell for you… you've done so much for me and Teddy. Thing's that you'll never even realize you've done. You're beautiful and talented, Funny and head strong and I know that I can't go another day without making you completely mine...Will you marry me?"

Her tears are free-flowing but her head nods in an overwhelming yes.

"Yes…yes…yes…" She sobs, but it's a happy sob at least.

She rushes into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck when I stand and she hides her face into my neck as she cries with happiness.

I chuckle lifting her and I spin her around before putting her back down onto her feet, cupping her face to make her look up at me.

My thumbs stroking over her cheekbones to rid her tears before I take her left hand and I slip the ring onto her finger.

"Christian... it's... it's beautiful. It's perfect" she whimpers as she gazes down watching me slip it onto her finger.

She's mine, officially she's agreed to be mine forever and I have never felt so fucking happy in my life.

Finally, everything I ever wanted has finally come true.

Teddy and I have our family now.

She gazes down at the ring glistening on her finger before she looks up at me, kissing me deeply.

"I love you" she whispers.

"And I love you"

I smile stroking her cheek before looking at Teddy over her shoulder who is impatiently waiting for his turn.

I give him a little wink, "Your turn Buddy".

Ana looks at me curiously before turning around to face Teddy.

He wanted to be just like Daddy and go on his knee too. He looks adorable as he does so and Ana's eyes start to tear up once again.

"Ana…I wuv you wots and wots and I wants you to be my Mommy…will you be my new Mommy? Pwease?"

He holds up a little gift box with a small bracelet inside, with a dainty small heart in the center. Teddy chose it himself and he knew she would adore it.

"Oh, sweetheart" She sobs out once again and she takes a step towards him. Kneeling on the grass opening her arms for his embrace.

He rushes into her arms and she lifts him into the tightest of hugs.

"I would love to be your Mommy…I love you so so much" She holds him tight and kisses his little cheek making him giggle.

She stands then, keeping him in her arms as she walks back into my open and waiting arms.

I hold them both close to me kissing their heads.

"Thank you…Both of you...Thank you so so much" She looks up at me with the brightest of smiles and then to Teddy.

He helps her to put the bracelet onto her left wrist and I can't help but grin to myself as I see her engagement ring sparkling in the morning light.

She's finally fucking mine.

Every man will see that ring now and know she's taken.

I guarantee the media will be all over this shit like a shot. As soon as they see it shimmering on her finger it'll be posted on every fucking tabloid. But honestly? I don't even care. Let the world know she is mine and I am hers.

After another million thank you's from her and a few more overwhelming tears I show her around her new Audi and she absolutely loves it. Much better than her last car, safer, looks nicer…and now, we all match, even little Teddy.

Seeing her and teddy both in complete awe and adoration of their new motors and gifts, it has my heart expanding with pride.

I think I did well. I grin to myself.

And so did Ana…I love her gifts too.

The canvas, the watch and all of the other small little bits she treated me with was more than I could have asked for. She knows me so well.

This morning has gone so well…better than I could have imagined.

I have a fiance, Teddy has a Mommy…and finally, we're a proper family.

In a couple of hours, everyone else is going to arrive and I cannot wait to see their reactions to the shining bright diamond on her finger. Even though most of them already knew about it anyway, obviously my Mom and Mia helped me pick the ring. I asked Ray for his permission weeks ago… but none of them knew when I'd ask. The only ones that knew were Teddy and me.

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	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51…

'A GR3Y'

As soon as I saw the license plate my whole body started to tremble as my heart rate increased rapidly.

My mind rushing with thoughts.

Is the name done on purpose?

Was he going to…?

Is he going to…?

In those seconds of gazing at the license plate, a million happy thoughts rushed through my mind.

I'm frozen. I feel as if I'm frozen in time and I am at a complete loss of words.

Does this mean he wants me to be his?

He wants me to be A Grey?

But a car!

He bought me a freaking car!

I am in complete and utter surprise and shock.

My hand moves over my mouth as I gasp. A car!

A very expensive, good looking, shining red car!

How on earth did he keep this so quiet! And little Teddy too!

The sneaky little things!

But now my gifts seem so small compared to this…

I thought that before I turned to look at him.

I thought that before I saw the diamond shimmering in the morning sunlight.

I thought that before I turned to face him, only to find him down on one knee in front of me.

As soon as I see the red velvet box being held up towards me, my eyes immediately fill with tears and I can't stop it.

Rivers of tears cascading down my cheeks with a frequent flow.

He's completely taken me by surprise.

Teddy squealing happily as he runs around us making me giggle slightly, but my main eye focus right now is Christian.

Gazing deep into the abyss of his piercing grey eyes.

I can tell he's nervous, but he has nothing to be nervous about.

I will say yes, I will always say yes.

My smile grows and my eyes glisten in delight.

"Ana…"

As soon as he says my name, the trembling in my body takes over me once again. My mouth betrays me as it lets out a small sob making my hand cover my lips again in pure shock.

This is it.

He's going to ask me.

He's going to ask me to marry him.

He's going to ask me to become Mrs. Grey.

I gaze down at the most beautiful ring I have ever laid my eyes on. It looks so fragile and dainty, so small but it makes a statement. He knows me so so well. I am in complete and absolute awe of it as the diamond glistens and reflects into my eyes as the sunlight shines through it.

"Since the moment I met you, I fell for you… you've done so much for me and Teddy. Thing's that you'll never even realize you've done…and I know that I can't go another day without making you completely mine. Will you marry me?"

I can barely even talk I feel so overwhelmed.

I nod my head in a reply as that's all I can manage as my tears start to rush once again.

"Yes…yes…yes…" I sob, oh my gosh I probably look completely awful. I'm sobbing.

I'm such a horrible crier.

But I don't even care, it was the most heartwarming, perfectly and amazing proposal I could have ever wished for.

I rush towards him. Wrapping my arms completely around his neck as I nuzzle against his skin letting my tears continue to fall.

He chuckles and spins me around in delight. He had nothing to worry about. Nothing what so ever.

I would always say yes to him, always. I love him. I love him with my entire body, my entire soul and my entire heart.

I'm his forever.

His gentle fingers cup my cheek and rid my tears before he takes my left hand and slips on the ring.

I can't believe it.

I'm engaged.

I am his and he is mine.

I have never felt so complete, I've never felt so happy.

I kiss him, I kiss him with every amount of love I have in my being.

I hope he knows how much I truly do love him.

"Your turn Buddy" I hear Christian's word and when I look up at him my brows are furrowed in confusion.

I turn and as soon as I see little Teddy down on his little knee my tears start once again and I can't talk. I simply gaze down at him with the most loving and caring smile.

"Ana…I wuv you wots and wots and I wants you to be my Mommy…will you be my new Mommy? Pwease?"

My heart is bursting with pride, happiness, and excitement. Seeing little Teddy down on his one knee as he mimics his father and holds up a small jewelry box with a shining bracelet inside.

Then I notice the small little heart accompanying it and my heart explodes.

I love them, I love them both so much.

I never imaged this, I never expected it…but now it's happened I realize it's everything I've ever wanted.

I've found the love of my life, and accompanying that amazing title I now have a son.

I always have and I always will look to my Dad for inspiration but as I grew older I always was curious to know how he could love me so much when I wasn't his. But, blood doesn't make you family does it? Loyalty and love does. Now I know, now I feel it.

The way my Dad felt and feels about me is the way I feel about little Theodore.

I love him and I will do my best to support him for the rest of his life.

I kneel on the grass in front of Teddy as my tears continue to fall.

"Oh, sweetheart" I sob as I open my arms for him which he willingly runs in to.

He rushes to me with the brightest little smile and his arms move around my neck.

I hold him tight, I hold him so close to me. The closeness in a way a mother should comfort their child.

I am so so proud of him, He's come so far and I'm proud to call him mine now. I can't wait to watch him grow older and make a success of his life. I'm honored that he wants me to be a part of that.

"I would love to be your Mommy…I love you so so much" I kiss his cheek and he giggles with happiness.

I look to Christian and I can tell he's a little emotional too but his grin is wide. His arms open, waiting for us, which I willingly accept and as soon as I reach his body, his arms are moving around Teddy and me in a loving family embrace. It's everything we've all needed.

"Will you help me put the bracelet on?" I smile at Teddy and he nods excitedly as his little hands eagerly help me latch it onto my left wrist.

Between the ring shimmering and the bracelet glistening, I feel on top of the world. I feel like I could conquer anything and everything and that's all thanks to the two most handsome and loving men in my life.

Christian dips his head down and kisses my lips softly before he pulls back and ruffles Teddy's hair making him giggle.

"We did good Buddy" He winks making Teddy giggle even more.

"We dids Good Daddy".

I laugh softly at their exchange, I am overwhelmed with happiness, I can't believe it.

We head back inside, Teddy playing with his toys as I head upstairs getting dressed into a beautiful red Christmas skater style dress in preparation for everyone to arrive.

With one last look in the mirror, I can't help but notice the ring and bracelet constantly shimmering.

I can feel the tears welling again as I continually think about their proposals.

"Hey, you okay?" I hear his voice and I see his reflection in the mirror.

"I'm perfect" I turn to face him and his hands move to my waist. On my tippy toes I lean up kissing him lovingly.

"you look beautiful"

I blush smiling.

"I think the ring and bracelet match the dress perfectly, don't you think?" I grin proudly as I gaze up into his eyes.

"It really does...do you like it?"

"I love it Christian, it's perfect. It's so me... Thankyou"

"Thankyou for saying yes, Mrs Grey" he grins as he says the name and hearing it sends a whole tingling sensation through my entire body.

"I always will" I whispers before kissing him again. 

"Daddy! Mommy! cans I take mes car in da gardens pwease!"

We both giggle against each others lips at his adorable little voice.

A couple of hours later everyone starts to arrive.

Grace, Carrick, and Mia first carrying a huge bag of gifts for all 3 of us.

Then My Mom and Dad arrive with their bag of gifts. Most of them mainly for Teddy which I am so so happy about.

Then Kate and Elliot arrive last with their gifts for everyone.

They look so happy, so content. I really do think this is it for them too.

It's funny though, because It wasn't long ago I was thinking about their wedding bells ringing…but now….now I'm having my own.

Oh my gosh, a wedding.

I have to plan a wedding.

A dress.

Flowers.

Everything.

I'm in the kitchen preparing the dinner when I hear them all conversing and enjoying being here. Christian being the host while I manage the food. And of course, little Teddy keeping everyone busy and occupied as he opens even more presents from both of our families and then excitedly shows every person the gifts Santa brought for him too.

While I'm cooking it also gives everyone a greater opportunity to look around the house, finally seeing it completed for the first time now it's all painted, set up and the 3 of us are officially moved in and settled.

What better time to have the perfect house warming party than on Christmas day.

"Gwandma! Gwandma!"

"There's my handsome little grandbaby! Did you have a nice Christmas morning? What did Santa get for you?"

I smile watching them as I prepare the vegetables.

"Yeah! I gots a car!"

"A car?! oh my goodness, you are a lucky boy!" She kisses all over his face making him wriggle in excitement.

"Yeah! And! Guess whats Gwandma!"

"What sweetheart?"

"Ana's my Mommy now! I askded her and she said yes! And she saids yes to daddy!"

That's when my cheeks turn a blushing pink, I feel Grace's eyes on me.

Hearing his little words make me smile though.

I look up from peeling carrots and I can see the tears in her eyes to which I offer a small and loving smile.

Little Teddy wriggles out of her arms and rushes over to his uncle Eliot and Kate as Grace makes her way into the kitchen.

"Ana my darling… I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for the both of them, for all of us. They love you so much, it's really wonderful to see"

"There's no need to thank me Grace, they have done more than enough for me too… I love them and I always will"

She gazes down at the ring and the bracelet on my hand , I smile brightly and I hold it up to her showing them off.

"It looked beautiful in the box, but it's even more stunning on your hand. Teddy chose the bracelet himself too" She laughs softly as she wipes a tear away from her eyes.

"They both know me so so well" I smile brightly at her.

He must have shown her the ring and bracelet or better yet, maybe…maybe she was there with them. I'll quiz him later when we're tucked up in bed together.

Either way, I'm so glad about their relationship. I know it was strained in the past but now….now his relationship with his family is so much better and my relationship with my Mom has improved too.

Furthermore, I'm so glad that Grace likes and approves of me too.

She smiles and her arms move around in a hug. She's so emotional bless her. "Can I help you out here?"

"No…No…go and relax and have a nice Day, Put your feet up, have a glass of wine… I got this" I wink at her with a bright smile, she never relaxes. She's always the organizer, always the planner, always the doer. But now…now it's her turn to sit back and relax and let me do the work. She laughs softly and gives a small nod as she takes her leave back into the living room, enjoying her time with the family.

Then it's my Mom and Dad's turn.

"Merry Christmas our Annie"

"Merry Christmas guys, thank you for coming"

I move to hug them both tightly.

"We wouldn't be anywhere else…..oh my! Wait is that?! Oh my goodness, He asked you on Christmas day! How romantic!"

My Mom's eyes widen as she eyes the glistening of the ring. I nod biting my lip letting my smile grow.

"It was so romantic Mom…Christian and Teddy both asked together… I love them so much"

I can feel myself getting all emotional again.

"We know you do sweetheart, We're both so so happy for you" My Dad's smile grows as his arm moves around my Mom's waist. I love seeing them together again, I really do. Finally, they both seem so so happy.

"Wait…wait a minute…. did you know he was going to propose?" It finally clicks.

"We did" Mom grins and Dad chuckles nodding.

"He came to ask my permission a couple of weeks ago"

"So chivalrous" My Mom smiles up at Dad and he kisses her forehead.

Christian asked for Dad's permission, it's just like my romance novels.

He's so loving, so thoughtful, so…Christian. My Christian.

"Teddy asked me to be his Mom too…"

"We know" He grins even more.

Did they know everything?

"Of course you do" I laugh softly.

"You're just like your father sweetheart…kind…caring…generous, and you will make a wonderful mother just like he made a wonderful father to you" Mom cups my cheeks and we both tear up before hugging each other.

She has truly changed so so much and she realizes her mistakes now.

She's sorry for it all and now, everything is the way it should be.

Those were the exact words I needed to hear. Every single one.

"Mommy!" Teddy comes running into the kitchen.

"Unc Ewiot askeded when Dinners weady cos he hungwy"

I laugh lifting him into my arms kissing his little cheek.

"Your Uncle Eliot is always hungry!" I tickle his tummy making him wriggle and laugh with excitement. "It's almost ready though, can you go and tell everyone for me?"

"Yeah!" He smiles before running into the living room, making me laugh when I hear his announcement.

"Dinners weady!"

My Mom and Dad laugh as they watch our interaction, my Dad getting a little emotional remembering the way he was with me too.

"That little boy loves you so much"

I nod smiling.

"I love him too….and I love you, both of you" I move to them hugging them tightly again. I can feel the volcano of emotions erupting inside me once again as they hold me in their embrace.

Within 20 minutes, everything is set up on the table and everyone is sat down, ready and waiting for their meal.

The table is full of platters. Vegetables, potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy, and so much more set up in a buffet style layout so everyone can help themselves to whatever they would like.

I wanted a whole variety of selection and wanted everyone to leave here with full belly's. I just hope it all tastes okay.

Lastly, I bring out the large Turkey.

"The man of the house carves the meat first I believe" I wink at Christian.

"That's my girl," My Dad says making everyone around the table laugh including him.

"Before I carve, I'd just like to say Thankyou to my fiance and future bride for cooking today and turning my whole life upside down in the most amazing way possible. And thankyou to all of you here with us today, sharing Christmas as a family." His smile grows and my eyes fill with tears at his heart warming words.

"To Family" Eliot says as he holds up his glass of wine and everyone else follows suit too.

"To Family"

Christian stands pecking my lips softly, before he carves the turkey and passes it around the table allowing everyone to take as much as they'd like.

During the meal, Kate, Mia, Grace and my Mom make a fuss of my ring and bracelet.

The men drink their beers while talking about Teddy and sports and business.

It's the perfect little set up for everyone.

"This is one of the best Christmas meals I've tasted Ana" Mia smiles.

"Thank you" I smile proudly, I'm glad I managed to do it well. Because two hours ago I started panicking that the Turkey wouldn't be ready. But…they don't need to know that.

"Yeah Ana, it's amazing," Kate says.

"Thank you for having us over" Carrick smiles at Christian and then to me.

"You're all more than welcome anytime," Christian says as he takes my hand under the table and I feel his thumb gently stroke over the ring.

He's so proud it's there and so am I.

I gently squeeze his hand before leaning closer to him and I kiss his cheek.

"It's been a successful day"

"It has, Mrs. Grey…" He smirks before capturing my lips.

We haven't managed to spend much time together today. Between cooking and making sure everyone is settled and enjoying themselves, it's nice to have a little contact. I can't wait to be curled up under the blankets with him later in front of our roaring, warm fire.

"Urchh…get a room bro," Eliot smirks teasingly, making everyone laugh before I start to clear the table once everyone is finished. Every plate is completely empty.

Success!

The rest of the evening goes swimmingly.

We play games, charades, card games…Kate and Mia hit the cocktails while I stay with the small glasses of wine. Everyone enjoying the warmth of the fire, everyone enjoying the chatter and the ambiance.

We even hit the Karaoke when everyone has had one too many drinks.

We've done pretty well I think. It really has been the most perfect day.

Teddy has thoroughly enjoyed having his whole family around.

But honestly? I think everyone has.

Everyone has been wonderful, everyone has had bright smiles, everyone has made the effort and it truly has been the most wonderful day.

"Ray, Carla….you should come to our New Year's Eve party, you're more than welcome. We're family now" Carrick says.

"We would love that, we'll definitely be there" My Dad answers and it makes my smile grow even more.

I am so happy everyone is getting along.

This is more than I could have ever hoped for.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Teddy comes running over to us and I lift him into my arms.

"There's our little guy" I kiss head smiling.

His little arms move around my neck as he smiles brightly resting his head onto my shoulder.

"Wuvs you Mommy"

"I love you sweetheart"

Christian snakes his arm around my waist as he kisses Teddy's head and looks towards me.

"I love you" Christian smiles.

"And I love you".

"To Christian, Ana and little Theodore…may the future be bright and filled with happiness for all 3 of you. Thank you for having everyone here tonight. Ana the food was amazing and Christian, for being a wonderful host too. And a big thank you to our little Theodore for keeping us smiling all night long. I am so so proud of all 3 of you. We all wish you all the luck in the world" Grace says proudly.

"To Christian, Ana, and Theodore"

"To Christian, Ana, and Theodore"

"To Christian, Ana, and Theodore"

"To Christian, Ana, and Theodore"

Everyone clinks their glasses together smiling brightly.

I have never felt so loved, so cared about, so overwhelmed in my entire life it's the most wonderful feeling.

I have a son, a fiance, a wonderful job and a whole family filled with pride and happiness now.

I am in awe of my own life.

"Now it's time to plan a wedding!" Kate and Mia both squeal with delight.

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I am so sorry for the lack of updates lately, I really do apologize. There will be another one to come tomorrow though I promise.

I hope you are all continuing to enjoy it! And thank you to every single one of you that continues to review and support every chapter I upload.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52…

For as long as I can recollect, Christmas has always been something I have dreaded happening. Something I've always hated.

Having everyone excitable and making a fuss.

Having people attempt to make a connection with you when you didn't want it.

Christmas day has always made me feel like a total Alien. It's the one time of year where it's always made me feel different.

Watching Eliot and Mia get excited over gifts, watching them hug and cuddle. But for me, I always spent it alone.

I'd spend my time sitting in a corner with a book, barely even uncovering any of my presents.

I never saw the point, I never felt the need to participate.

It's been that way for such a long time, even since Teddy was born because Leila would always make a scene about it and we'd end up having the worst Christmas day ever, leaving Teddy unsettled every year too.

It's always been a terror and a dreadful day to get through.

But this year…

This year has been so different.

Teddy has beamed excitedly all day. Listening to his squeals and giggles tinkling through my ears has been more than I have ever wanted for him.

Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our day and honestly? It's all thanks to Ana.

She's been the light to our lives, the happiness and hope that we've both needed.

Both of our families wholeheartedly enjoyed spending time together in our new home too. They all seemed to approve of my house of choosing.

The dinner Ana made was marvelous. It was a mouthwatering gourmet feast for us all and I ate way too much.

Then the dessert.

The fact she even baked a cake shows how wondrous she is.

A Chocolate fudge indulgent cake which everyone had seconds of. Teddy even had a third it was so tasty! It was truly heavenly and asking her to be my wife was the best decision I've ever made.

Although, I think Teddy might be making frequent requests to her for more of that said cake.

After dessert, the games, the drinks, the karaoke, the whole ambiance was incredible.

For someone who has always hated Christmas and it's festivities. I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

It's a whole new experience now and the past has gone and I can finally look to the future.

My fiance and my son.

Hearing him call Ana Mom is the most heartwarming thing I have ever heard.

I love them, I love them both with my entire being.

Once everyone had departed, Ana and I curled up in front of the fire watching Teddy as he continued to play with his toys. Mainly his toy car making me chuckle as he'd make the 'Vrooom' noises to go along with it.

Ana giggles against my shoulder but I notice her gaze keeps moving between Teddy and her engagement ring.

"Are you happy?" I whisper to her as my hand runs through her hair.

"I'm more than happy…I love you, so much" Her gaze lifts and my eyes meet hers.

"I can't wait to make you Mrs. Grey" I beam and I gently kiss her lips as the warmth of the fire surrounds our bodies.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Grey" She whispers against my lips making me smile even more.

We continue to curl up into the sofa, my thumb making small circular attempts on her thigh as her body is curled into mine.

Her hand resting on my leg too.

I admire being so intimate with her, even with our clothes on I love feeling her touch whenever I can get it.

"I just want to say thank you for today…the dinner and the preparations. Christmas has been a hard time for me and for Teddy too…but today…today has changed all that. I was a little nervous about it I must admit, but it was perfect. Everything Christmas should be and so much more"

Her smile grows as she cups my cheek and kisses me softly as a reply. She doesn't need to say anything.

"I love you" She whispers as I feel her lips curl into a smile against mine.

"I love you" I reply.

"Cans I sweep wiv Mommy and Daddy?" Teddy asks as he yawns from his little car.

Ana giggles nodding and her arms open for him.

He drove his car right up beside the sofa and she carefully lifts him from it.

Teddy curls into her embrace smiling sleepily as she snuggles him between our warm bodies under the blanket.

"Did you have a nice Christmas sweetheart?" She asks him as her hand tenderly strokes through his tuft of hair.

Teddy nods smiling, "Best Chwistmas ever" He cuddles tighter making me laugh.

"I agree Buddy" I kiss his head as he yawns curling between our bodies.

Having them both in my embrace, having them both so close to me is the best feeling I have ever had.

After a little while he drifts off to sleep. Ana and I take our leave from the sofa to head up to bed with him.

Carrying him up with Ana close behind, I lay him in our bed and tucking him into the blankets.

Ana moving into the bathroom to change, while I quickly remove my clothes leaving my boxers on and pulling on a pair of my joggers before climbing in beside him.

Ana emerges not long after wearing my shirt.

I chuckle seeing her. I fucking love seeing her in my shirts. She does not need pajamas anymore, I just need to buy more shirts.

"What?" She smiles as she climbs into the bed hearing my chuckle.

"Nothing, I just love you in my shirts" I lean over kissing her before she lays down the other side of Teddy so he's comfy and curled between us fast asleep.

My hand reaches over Teddy and rests at her waist as she lays her head against the pillow facing towards me.

I'm laying on my side facing her with Teddy laid on his back between us.

I can tell she's tired but her smile is still as beautiful. Even more stunning when the moonlight is shining through our window and illuminating her lips. The moonlight making her ring glisten too.

I look at it, placed there on her delicate hand.

It's perfect.

Everyone will know she's mine now.

Not long after, we both drift to sleep ready for another day.

The days before New year's eve have been crazy.

Teddy was begging for an IHOP and we finally gave in to him.

But it was a good opportunity to visit the city. I do kind of miss living in the busyness of it all but the peace, the open spaces and the family time has been wonderful.

The problem with the city?

The media!

The fucking paparazzi lurking behind every fucking corner.

Boom! They have the ring.

I don't care if they do, I want the world to know I'm taken…but Ana and Teddy? I want to keep them out of the media as much as possible.

Thanks to our little IHOP outing Ana's ring is plastered on the front of almost every magazine.

'WEDDING BELLS RING FOR SEATTLE'S BILLIONAIRE'

'WHO'S THE LUCKY FUTURE GREY?'

'DO WE HEAR WEDDING BELLS?'

'WHAT A STATEMENT!'

'FUTURE MRS GREY?'

'WHOS THE WOMAN THAT'S STOLEN HIS HEART?'

Nobody knows Ana's name as I have tried to keep her and Teddy Out of the lights for as long as I can, but now I fear I can't do that any longer. Not for her at least.

Fuck.

It pisses me the fuck off that just because I'm good a businessman, that automatically means people want to know every single fucking detail about my life.

Well, …how about they just fuck off and leave me alone?

Every day a new magazine posts the same pictures. It's just fucking ridiculous.

"You ready to go sweetheart?"

"Yes, Mommy" Teddy smiles up at Ana as she places an adorable little bobble hat on him, all set and ready for the New Year's Eve party at my Mom's.

It's a little crisp out tonight and with the fireworks at midnight, it'll be freezing later on. Luckily it's not a fancy dress-up party like the events. It's a chill, mulled wine with a fire, alcohol and casual clothes kind of party. But the usual suspects from her events are invited so it'll be pretty full of people.

"Ready to go Daddy?" Ana grins as she stands and pecks my lips. She looks fucking astonishing tonight.

She has a burnt orange colored puffer jacket, a pair of jeans, black boots and a burnt orange colored bobble hat to match her jacket.

I can't believe she is mine, how the fuck did I get so lucky?

Summer clothes, winter clothes…no matter what she wears she's always so enticing to me.

"Ready Mommy" I grin kissing her softly making Teddy giggle at us.

I swoop him into my arms as we make our leave for My Parent's house.

"You ready for the fireworks Teddy?" Ana smiles over her shoulder as I drive, making me look at his reaction in the mirror.

"Yeaaaah Fireworks! Kaaaboooooom"

We both laugh at his reaction.

When we arrive, everything is set up outside in the usual little marque.

Taylor follows us into the garden while Sawyer stays at the front door. I'm not worried about tonight though, It's my parent's house after all.

We make our way around the side of the house and down the path towards the marque.

A huge roaring fire, the open bar at the side and everyone either sat at a table or up and making conversations. Around the fire, 3 large sofa-like seats are making it all cozy and warm which teddy, Ana and I take shotgun of. Mom and Mia love decorating this place. The chandeliers are up on the ceiling. The table centerpieces are placed on the tables. Fire lanterns spaced around the Garden to light the way.

There are blankets and spare coats available for anyone that wants them and they've set up a few fluffy rugs for a wintery effect. It is perfect.

Everyone is wearing big thick expensive coats, hats, scarves, gloves with some sort of alcohol in their hands.

New Year.

Now, I thought Christmas was bad.

New Year was even worse.

When I lived here I never once came outside.

I used to stay in my room and blast my music so I couldn't hear the loud bangs that reminded me of the physical abuse. The hitting, the punching, the kicking. The smashing of glasses, plates, picture frames….The sound of a firework used to make me cringe in fear and every year my nightmares would become even worse, because of the noises and the remembrance of the past.

The lights….the lights were beautiful when they exploded in the air.

But…

But the moment before they set off.

The moment where the heat and the momentum are building enough pressure to push it into the atmosphere.

The moment where the red glow of the string would spark something in me.

The reminder of the cigarette glow.

It looked the same, the same red like ash as it burnt it's way through.

The firework would be set off, but with a cigarette? It was put out on my chest.

Every single time and the sight of the red ashy glow on the firework caused me to cower in fear and so, I never did watch a New Year's eve display.

Since Teddy was born, I always brought him here for the New Year…but as soon as the fireworks went off I'd leave him with my Mom or Dad and tell them 'I had a phone call' or 'I'm going to the bathroom'.

Anything to get me away from the memories of my past.

Now this year, Ana is here with me.

I'm not sure how I'll cope, but I know with her by my side I can at least try.

So far so good, everyone is drinking and enjoying themselves.

Sitting with Kate and Eliot as Teddy sits in front of the fire with his little toy cars.

"We should go out sometime….we haven't been out together in such a long time," Kate says to Ana.

"Maybe we could all go sometime?" Ana looks at me. I know for a fact she's trying to get out of it, She hates clubs as much as I do. But we love Eliot and Kate too much to refuse them.

"Sure, whenever Mom and Dad are free to have Teddy we'll go" I wink at Ana making her bite her lip.

"I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be right back" She stands and gently squeezes my shoulder as she walks past me.

As soon as Teddy sees her figure moving, he is running after her leg making both Kate and Eliot laugh.

"He adores her," Eliot says watching him.

"He does, she's amazing with him too…I always knew she'd make a great Mom one day" Kate says.

"She is" I nod in agreement.

"Mommy, where's going?"

She kneels to his height, smiling and kisses the tip of his little red nose.

"I'm just going to the bathroom sweetheart, I'll be right back okay?"

"Otay" He nods smiling before moving back to play with his toy cars, but his eyes continually look up checking for her return.

My Mom and Dad do throw the best parties, I feel guilty I've only recently started to enjoy them though.

"Do you want another beer?" I look to Eliot.

"Yes please bro"

"Kate? A drink?"

"Oooh, please! I'll have a margarita please"

I nod standing and I look to Eliot, "Will you watch him?"

"Course, I got the little squirt"

I make my way to the bar and when I get there, I order the drinks before turning to look back at where I was sitting.

Teddy is sat on Eliot's lap and Kate is making a fuss of him. I know he's never wanted to settle down before but I do think they make a great couple and the way they both are with Teddy is amazing.

Maybe one day Teddy will have a little cousin to play with.

Who knows.

I'm about to pick up the drinks when I feel a familiar pair of hands move around my torso and a set of plump enticing lips that place an open-mouthed kiss to the back of my neck.

I grin as I take her hand in mine and I turn to face her.

"Mmm…there you are" I grin. That's the good thing about being with the rest of the family, Ana and I can have some time. "Do you want a drink?"

"Are you trying to get me drunk Mr. Grey?" She's so playful after alcohol, I love it.

"What if I am?" I slip my hand down resting it on her ass making her smirk even more.

"Then, I would willingly agree but on one condition?"

"And what condition would that be?"

"That you make love to me in front of our fire again as we did on Christmas on Eve"

Even the thought of that sends my dick pulsing in my jeans.

Fuck me, Ana.

"I will make love to you whenever and wherever you want to baby…All-day everyday" I squeeze her ass making her jump slightly and her body rests against mine as I dip my head down kissing her deeply.

Feeling her hand run through my hair sending the familiar electricity rush through my entire body.

It still feels like the very first time she touched me.

Pressing my tongue against her bottom lip, she allows me entrance immediately and I pull her even tighter to me as I lean against the bar.

Fuck I love having her in my arms.

Our tongues dance together and the only time we pull away is when we both need air.

"Wine?"

"Please" She pecks my lips once more before she lifts Kate and Eliot's drinks and she takes them back over to our seats.

"Mommy!" Teddy squeals seeing her again and as she puts their drinks down on the table he reaches up for her.

"There's my handsome boy" She sits beside Kate and lifts him into her lap as he cuddles his body into her.

Carrying our drinks I head over handing Ana her wine.

"Thank you" She smiles, biting her lip as she looks up at me.

I want to bite that lip again.

Fuck.

She has my body on fire right now.

"Here you are Buddy, Daddy got you some juice"

"Fankyou" He smiles taking it and sucks it through the straw.

"Are you warm enough sweetheart?" She cuddles him a little closer.

She is so incredible with him, I really can't believe how lucky we are to have her.

Teddy nods resting his head against her chest as he continues to suck his straw.

"Hello everyone…" Ray and Carla arrive making their way over to us.

"Mom! Dad" Ana smiles brightly when she sees them together.

"Sorry we're late, your Dad realized he didn't have a hat so we had to hit Target on the way"

Ana laughs softly, "He's always losing his hats! But it's okay you're here now…"

"This place is amazing Annie, the house is so big and this marque is decorated wonderfully"

"Mia and Grace do it all themselves, isn't it incredible?"

They nod taking a seat beside her, Ray shakes my hand and then Eliot's while Carla kisses my cheek in greeting.

"There's an open bar…and they'll have some announcements and activities…and then the fireworks will go off at midnight"

I tell them.

But fuck…I had to go ahead and mention the fucking open bar when Ana's Mom used to be an alcoholic.

Fuck.

Ana must notice my worrying thoughts by my facial expression as she reaches and squeezes my hand reassuringly making my body relax a little.

She looks to Teddy smiling, "Do you want to help me get my Mommy and Daddy some drinks?"

"Yeaaah" He squeals smiling and she stands, keeping him in her arms.

"Dad? Usual?"

"Yes please my girl"

"Mom? They have juices? Tea's coffee's, hot chocolate? Or soda's too"

"A hot chocolate sounds perfect, thank you Ana" She smiles gratefully and my fuck up has gone unnoticed.

Thank fuck.

The evening continues and it's been great.

I notice Taylor stood in the corner of the marque, then I look to Ana and I look to Teddy.

He should be with his family tonight too. He's been amazing and I feel guilty that he doesn't spend much time with his daughter, or Mrs. Jones for that matter, I know they have a thing going. I make my way over to him smiling, "Hey Taylor, why don't you head off? Go and spend time with Sophie and Gail…Sawyer is out front we'll be fine"

"Sir?" He looks at me as If I've just grown two heads.

"It's okay Taylor, really…you deserve time with your family too and if you leave now you'll make midnight with them" I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Are you sure sir?"

I chuckle nodding, "Yes Taylor…go on, you deserve it"

"Thank you, sir, I'll be back at the house first thing In the morning"

"I'd expect it" I tease.

I am a completely different person now, even with my staff. I feel at ease. I know the media are crazy at the moment but we've been here hours already with no drama and we've never had a problem here before. Besides, we have Sawyer at the front door, what's the worst that could happen?

I make my way back to the sofa just as the announcements begin.

Dad thanked everyone for coming and wishes everyone a happy New year.

Then, it's firework time.

Honestly? My body is quivering.

My hand running through my hair in frustration, my hands shaking.

I can already feel the fear creeping up on me because of my past.

"Hey…you okay?"

My light in the darkness.

She's always there just when I need her.

I simply nod and give her the tiniest of smiles. I just can't help it.

"What's wrong?" She cups my cheek making me look at her and I sigh.

"I…I've never…this is the first time I'm attempting to watch the fireworks"

She looks at me curiously.

"I've always left Teddy with my parents, and before he was born I spent my New Year's in my room hiding away from the noises..it reminds me of…the abuse…the noises, the smashing, banging…and the fire, it just…" I clench my fists together and my eyes close in such pain, pain like I can feel the burns all over me again. "It reminds me of the burns…"

I finally look at her and when I do, she has a glimmer of tears in her eyes.

"Hey…Hey…" Her thumb strokes over my cheek with such love and care. "You don't have to stay and watch them you know? It's okay to feel like that…I can watch Teddy"

I let out a sigh of relief I didn't realize I was holding in.

My arms move around her and I hide my face into her neck.

"I love you."

"I love you too" I smile when I feel her tender hand graze through my hair.

"Will you stay with me?"

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here at your side" She smiles gazing up into my eyes.

I can see the love and adoration in them.

She truly is a remarkable human being.

"I'll try…I'll try and stay…"

She smiles at that and with a slight nod. She smiles with a sense of pride that makes me feel empowered.

We make our way back towards the bridge where the rest of the family are standing and waiting.

Dozens and Dozens of people laughing and smiling, drinking and eating waiting for the moment where we enter into the New Year.

"Daddy! Mommy!" Teddy comes bounding over to us as he leaves my Mom's arms making her laugh.

I lift him into my embrace smiling brightly.

"Fireworks Daddy!"

"Yeah buddy, it's almost midnight" I kiss his cheek smiling.

I still feel worried as fuck.

Ana takes my free hand and she laces our fingers.

I can do this.

I can.

Ana stood at the end of the crowd holding my hand.

I'm holding Teddy, my Mom is beside me, my Dad behind her. Kate is stood in front of Eliot, Ray and Carla decide to sit on the bench just off to the side because Ray can't stand for long periods after his injuries.

Then Mia is just in front of my Mom and Dad.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone shouts with delight as the whoosh of the fireworks go up into the starry skies.

My Mom kisses my Dad.

Eliot kisses Kate.

Ray kisses Carla.

And I lean down to kiss my fiance, making my son giggle in delight.

After a small kiss, we both pull back and assault Teddy's face with tons of kisses making him wriggle and writhe with glee.

"Happy New year sweetheart"

"Happy new year Buddy"

"Happy News year Mommy! Happy news year Daddy!" He smiles brightly making us both laugh at his enthusiasm.

BANG, BANG, BANG.

The fireworks continue to light up the sky and I don't feel afraid.

Having Teddy in my arms and Ana by my side is everything I needed to deal with it.

My body is no longer trembling with freight.

At this moment. I'm Happy.

Some people are singing and dancing around the gardens, some drinking and talking, some laughing and the rest of us are simply standing here viewing the light show in the sky.

BANG.

BANG.

BANG, BANG, BANG.

BANG.

BANG.

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.

Ana's hand leaves mine.

"Ch- Christian…." I hear Ana's voice say my name and I look down.

Her hand resting on her burnt orange colored jacket, her cheeks have turned pale somewhat.

"Ana?"

She removes her hand from her jacket and where her ring normally glistens in the moonlight, something has affected its shine.

It's as if time has stood still and suddenly everything is passing in slow motion.

The drip of the red thick liquid flows from her palm.

Her eyes are wide as she looks up at me.

FUCK!

I keep Teddy close against my chest protectively. Looking around but there's no one there, everyone is still in awe of the firework show or too intoxicated to even fucking notice.

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN!

Teddy. My Teddy. I can't let anything happen to him.

But Ana…

Ana…. FUCK!

She stumbles slightly and I quickly thrust Teddy into my Dad's chest, "KEEP HIM SAFE! COVER HIM! TAKE HIM INSIDE AND KEEP HIM SAFE!" My Dad embraces Teddy protectively with his own body in terror of another one.

With my frantic screams, Dad, Mom, Eliot, Kate, Mia and Ray all look over to what has me so panicked.

"Mommy!" Teddy cries in fear.

My Mom's eyes are wide when she sees the stain of blood growing and growing upon Ana's burnt orange Jacket.

She's turned a ghostly white and her hands are trembling as she just stands there staring at me, then at her hands.

Everything has become blurred, the whole scene seeming like someone has slowed down the entire process.

"Christian…," she mutters in a cry until suddenly her body is falling backward but I manage to catch her in my arms and reclined her back against the ground.

"Ana! Ana !"

No, No….this isn't fucking happening.

NO!

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I think this one might cause up a stir... Plenty more to come though!


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53…

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

My smile grows seeing my Dad kiss my Mom, Grace kiss Carrick, Eliot kiss Kate and then my heart flutters and swoons when Christian's lips meet mine.

Smiling against his lips as I kiss him softly and my thumb gently strokes over his cheek bone.

What a perfect New Year it has been.

What will this brand new year bring for us?

We've found love, we have a new house, we're getting married, we have little Teddy and we have the love and support of both of our families.

Everything is simply perfect.

Teddy giggles as the fireworks begin and his little head rests onto Christian's shoulder as we kiss.

I stroke his little cheek laughing softly before Christian and I both smother his little face with hundreds of kisses making him laugh even more.

"Happy New year sweetheart"

"Happy new year Buddy"

"Happy News year Mommy! Happy news year Daddy!"

BANG.

BANG.

BANG, BANG, BANG.

BANG.

BANG.

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.

After our kissing assaults we gaze up towards the bright lights exploding in the sky, taking Christian's hand in mine and lacing our fingers.

Suddenly, I feel a sharp shooting jolt through my body causing me to let go of Christian's hand quickly and moving it to where the pain is affecting me the most.

It feels strange. I suddenly feel strange. I feel as if my energy has been drained from my entire being.

I feel numb and helpless.

When I look down, the gooey liquid seeps through between my fingers and I soon realize. I soon realize the dark red liquid is my blood trickling out from underneath my jacket.

Wh-What happened?

"Ch-Christian?"

"Ana?"

He looks at me and I can already see the worry in his eyes.

This isn't good.

This isn't good at all.

I move my hand away from my jacket and the blood drips down onto the floor silently.

The pain starting to overcome my body. My legs starting to shake, my hands are trembling and my mind is starting to go black.

Everything has become a fuzz. The noises once piercing my ears have become slow and motionless, I can hear Christian's voice but barely.

I feel as if I've been locked inside of a bubble unable to speak unable to hear properly. Every sound and vision, everything becomes muffled, quiet and slowed.

"KEEP HIM SAFE! COVER HIM! TAKE HIM INSIDE AND KEEP HIM SAFE!"

I look up and my mind is leaving me, my eyesight becoming blurred and almost visionless but I see Christian's silhouette and I can see Teddy.

The look in their eyes has me fighting.

Don't go to the darkness Ana, they need you.

Keep focussed on them.

Keep focussed.

"Christian…." I sob just as my legs are buckling beneath me and I find myself in the comfort of Christian's arms.

Then i'm lying with the cold hard ground beneath my back and my eyes gazing up towards the atmosphere.

The fireworks still blasting above us.

The lights are mesmerizing as they shine in the dark sky.

BANG, BANG, BANG.

The noise of them is muffled.

The pain is burning now. Burning inside of me like a roaring fire erupting through my veins.

Whimpering out, I can't even concentrate.

I hear Christian's voice but I can barely understand his words.

Suddenly, I'm finding it hard to breathe. My chest rising and falling, picking up speed as I start to breathe rapidly and the pain shoots through my body.

"Okay, Ana….Ana….Ana, it's Grace, can you concentrate on me, please? I know you're hurting but you need to stay focused"

I open my eyes and I look up. Both Grace and Christian hovering over me but their figures are slightly blurred.

"Aaaahhhh…." I sob, whimpering loudly as I feel a pressure building in my stomach. When I feel Christian's hand in mine I attempt to squeeze it as the pain rushes through my body, but I'm so weak, I'm so fragile, I can't.

"Ana, I'm here…I'm here….fuck….please, please be okay" I can hear the terror in his voice.

My jacket is carefully being undone and I hear Grace gasp.

"Fuck…Mom, is she going to be okay?"

But I don't hear Grace's answer as the pain takes over me again.

I attempt to squeeze Christian's hand again as the pain is starting to become unbearable. I just want to be in his arms. I want to feel his lips against mine, I want to be back in bed cuddled against the two most important people in my life.

But here I am…

Laying on a freezing cold floor with an excruciating pain radiating through my body.

How on earth did this even happen?

What even happened?

"Stay with me Ana…stay with me…."

My lungs feel as if they're about to explode and my body is writhing in pain.

"I…I'm so cold…." I whisper and suddenly I feel Christian's hand at my cheek.

"Mom?!" Christian looks to Grace who is putting pressure against the bullet wound.

"The ambulance is on its way….just stay with us darling, Ana stay with us"

I look up at Christian through pained eyes.

"I love you…please stay with me…please, Ana…please be okay" He almost sobs out in confession as he leans down kissing my forehead.

My body growing colder and colder.

I can no longer feel the trembling in my body anymore. I feel numb, I feel helpless, I feel useless.

"I..I L-Love you" I whisper with a struggled sob before I blackout.

The last thing I remember is telling him I love him.

The last thing I saw was him pleading with me to stay with him, but the blackness took over.

My light dimmed and dimmed and dimmed until suddenly my whole being was taken over by darkness and the rest was gone.

I couldn't see him anymore.

I couldn't feel him anymore.

I couldn't hear him anymore.

How did such a perfect and wonderful night turn into this?

Who would even do this?

Why did they do it?

What if it had been Teddy?

In some ways I'm glad I took the bullet, I'm glad it hit me because if it hit Christian or Teddy I don't know what I would have done.

The light started to come back into focus and I can feel the tiniest amount of energy emerge in my veins.

When I open my eyes I hear the loud siren of an ambulance and flashing lights.

"She's awake! She's awake!"

I groan slightly feeling the pain coarse through my body.

People in green scrubs stood over my body checking my vitals, keeping the pressure on my wound.

"Ana…thank fuck….Ana…." Christian says as he lifts my hand to his lips.

I feel so out of sorts. The pain is almost too much to handle.

"Ch-Christi….Christian…." I whimper out in agony.

"I'm here baby…stay awake…stay with me…" I look up at him and his eyes are red and his cheeks are tear-stained.

I just want to hold him. I want to kiss him. I want to go back to hours ago when everything was just perfect.

"T…Ted...Teddy" I whisper.

When I feel his hand against my cheek, I feel the smallest amount of warmth radiate through my face.

A warmth I've needed since the darkness overcame me.

"He's okay….he's okay"

He leans down kissing my forehead.

"We're just pulling up to the hospital Mr. Grey"

I watch as he nods.

"How…H-How bad…is…." My voice is husky and broken.

"Nothing you can't fight baby, nothing you can't fight" He puts my hand back to his lips and simply gazes down at me. I watch as a tear roll down his cheek. It breaks my heart to see him so worried and pained.

At least it wasn't him hurt.

At least it wasn't Teddy.

That I am grateful for.

"Whoever did this Ana, I'm going to fucking kill them...I swear…I'll fucking kill them"

"ShhhShhh…." I close my eyes and with the small amount of energy I have left in my body, I lift my hand to rest on his cheek.

I can barely manage a smile but when I feel him lean into my palm, I know, I just know it'll be okay.

"I love you…please…please don't leave me" He pleads as another tear rolls down his cheek.

"Never…" I whisper before the darkness starts to take over me. Feeling the life and energy drain from my entire being once again.

The light moving further and further away from my focus, everything becoming blurry, shaken, and suddenly, gone.

"Ana…..Ana….Ana….please….Ana….stay with me….breathe….breathe…."

I hear the rapid beating of the monitor next to me along with Christian's pleads to keep my eyes open but I can't I just can't.

I try to fight it, I try to keep them open but the pain is just too much and takes over.

Every time the pain rushes through my body I dip back into the darkness.

His voice sounding distant and I can no longer feel his touch. My body becoming cold and numb the same as before.

Back into an unconscious state.

I will be okay, right?

I'll make it through.

I have to keep fighting.

I have to be there for him.

I have to be there for Teddy.

We haven't had any time, none what so ever.

We need to have the rest of our lives together.

I need to watch Teddy grow into the most amazing gentleman he can be, just like his father.

I need to grow old with Christian.

I need to become his wife and stand proudly by his side as he conquers the world with his business.

We need to have more time, more memories, more laughs.

I want children with him. I want him to be the father of my children. I want to watch him hold our baby, I want to watch Teddy be the most wonderful big brother.

I need to continue at Sip. Oh my gosh SIP, what are they going to think? I haven't been employed there for long and already I've brought drama.

Already, I'm taking time off.

Maybe, if there are no complications I can be back there within a few days. Mr Roach will understand though, won't he?

I'm so scared.

I'm so worried.

Keep fighting Ana, keep on fighting.

I go into the darkness but my mind is wide awake and images of my life rush through my mind.

The quote, 'My life passed before my eyes' is becoming a true statement for me right now at this moment.

It takes me back to the moment I first saw Christian.

Dancing with Kate in the middle of the dancefloor, remembering Kate making googley eyes at Eliot.

I remember the attraction I felt towards Christian then but I thought it was just the alcohol reacting.

Then the way he saved me from Jack as he held me against the wall. The image of him so close to me makes me feel nauseous but Christian came and he saved me.

He drove me home and I thought he was going to kiss me. The game of cat and mouse went on for a while until finally, I remember the way his lips felt against mine for the first time. I will never tire of feeling his lips against me.

I remember little Teddy in the classroom, the way he befriended me and only me. The way he opened up to me as he had with no one else before.

The court case. Saving both Christian and Teddy from Leila's claws.

Then I remember the first time Christian and I ever made love and every time after that. Even the scene in front of the fire…that was definitely my favorite.

The dates.

The strolls.

Moving into the apartment with them.

Moving into the new house.

Christmas eve.

Christmas day.

And then today…. it was all going so so well.

And now, I'm filled with darkness and so much pain.

I have to make it, the memories so far aren't enough. I want to grow old with them, I want more memories, more smiles, more laughs and I'll keep fighting until I can't any longer.

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	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54…

The last time she was conscious is when she cried out my name just as they were wheeling her down towards the operating room, but they held me back.

"Let us help your fiance, Mr. Grey, she'll be in good hands…" The nurse says as I observe a crowd of professionals surround my future wife to be as they wheeled her down for critical procedures.

The glass doors block in front of me and there's nothing I can do.

Fuck.

FUCK!

I move my hand through my hair in defeat, pulling out my cell phone and calling Taylor and Prescott. Sawyer supported me to the hospital.

I can't believe this fucking happened

Why the fuck did I let Taylor leave?! This is all my fucking fault!

Having Sawyer at the front door wasn't enough, I should have fucking known! It wasn't enough and now I might lose her.

The clever fucking snake that did this, knew exactly when to do it. Mimicking the qualities of the fireworks, the gunshot went off and no one even fucking knew!

Except her, except Ana. The pain she must have undergone and is currently feeling must be fucking terrible.

This is all my fucking fault and if she….if she….

I can't stand to even think about it.

What if…

What if she doesn't come back to me.

Fuck.

"Sir?"

"Taylor, Ana….she…she's been shot. I'm so sorry to pull you back"

"Fuck sir, no apologies needed, I'll be right there"

"Go to my Parents', Sawyer is here with us, but Teddy is at their house. Please protect them. Take Prescott with you, look over the CCTV, find them, Taylor, find whoever the fuck did this and keep them because I'm going to fucking kill them"

"Yes sir of course"

I hang up.

My blood is raging with fury inside of me. My hands tearing at my hair in frustration and distress.

Fuck!

The hour's pass…

And pass…

And pass…

My phone lighting up with calls and texts but I can't bear to talk to anyone right now.

Ray.

Carla.

Dad.

Mia.

Kate.

I know I should answer, but I can't. Not right now.

And I've had enough.

Fuck, it's been a couple of hours now since I last saw her.

Mom has called me numerous amount of times with an unsettled Teddy at the other end.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to him?

He kept asking for her, kept asking for me to go and collect him from My Parent's. But I can't.

This isn't a place for Teddy to be sitting around and not for this length of time either.

What the fuck is taking so damn long!

What if…what if she's already gone?

Fuck.

That's when I find my fist uniting with the wall in the men's bathroom.

Again and Again. The familiar sting stabbing through my wrist.

This is all my fucking fault! If I had just kept Taylor there, maybe…just maybe…

My chest is rising and falling with such force I fear my lungs may come bursting through my ribs.

I look at myself in the mirror.

My eyes inflamed and red, my brows are furrowed with hatred, but deep down I feel broken, I feel empty, I feel lost without her.

The hope I had of a future has gone and it's been replaced with hopelessness. If she doesn't make it, I'm not sure what I'll do.

And Teddy…if she doesn't make it, what about Teddy. My heart breaks at the thought.

I rush back out of the bathroom and I move to the reception.

"Yes, sir?"

"My fiance came in with a gunshot wound…it's been a couple of hours now and I haven't heard…"

"I'm just the receptionist, sir, I'm not sure what goes on back there but I am positive your fiance is in the most capable hand's sir"

I groan making my way back to my seat "Christian?"

Ray and Carla come racing down the corridor to be with their daughter.

I know they should be here, I know my Mom would be here for me too, but I just want Ana. I just want to be at her side. I'm too fucking angry to deal with anyone else right now.

"Ray…Carla…." I stand welcoming them both, I am slightly cold and I wish I wasn't. But I can't help it. Not with the concern of Ana's condition.

"How is she doing?" Carla says worriedly and Ray with red tear-stained cheeks.

"She's…she's not so good…."

"Oh, my baby" Carla sobs out.

"Who the hell did this?!" Ray is angry. So fucking furious.

"I don't know yet, but when I do I'll fucking kill them"

"I'll join you," Ray says putting a hand on my shoulder.

Then, the same nurse that told me to fucking wait here comes walking down the corridor.

"Mr. Grey?"

"Thank fuck! Is she okay? Please…"

"She is stable sir… she had to have some major operations and her body has taken a great deal of trauma, Mr. Grey"

"What does that mean? Is she going to be okay? Fuck just tell me straight"

"As I said, sir, she is stable for now and the operations have gone as well as they could have…"

I simply nod. What else can I do?

"Can..I…Can I see her?"

"She's in intensive care right now sir but once we have completed the tests and ensure her body is capable…she will be moved into a private room as you requested. You can go into that room now if you would like to wait for her there"

"Thankyou…." She starts to walk and the 3 of us follow her to the private room "and I'm sorry for cursing and being so…so angry…" I sigh, confessing away from the ears of Ray and Carla. It's not what Ana would have wanted, It's not what Teddy would have wanted and I felt the need to apologise for it.

The nurse gives me a small sympathetic smile and nods, "It's understandable Mr. Grey, it's okay".

She takes her leave and we continue to remain in the room. Rubbing my hands together in front of me impatiently waiting. It's awkward.

It is.

I just want her to wake up, I don't want to talk to anyone but I have to. I have to make some sort of conversation with her parents but deep down I just want to sit here with my thoughts.

When things become too much for Ray to cope with because of the pain his injuries still cause, they make their leave with the promise to call them if anything happens. They'll be back in the morning I know but right now, I'm glad they've left.

8 hours.

9 hours.

10 hours.

11 hours.

I need my boy and I need my fiance.

I pull out my phone calling my Mom.

"Christian darling"

"Mom…"

"Any news darling? How is she? Do you want me to come there?"

"No, No it's okay…stay with Teddy…I'm just waiting still. It's been almost 12 hours"

"I know, I know…but she's a fighter, she's going to be okay"

"What if…"

"No Christian, she will be… Keep thinking about your wedding, think of the positives"

I feel a tear run down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

"Is Teddy okay?"

"He's asleep right now, he was upset…he doesn't understand what's going on"

"I'll keep you posted…but just let me know when he's awake so I can call him"

"Okay sweetheart, I will….and Christian?"

"Yeah?"

"She is going to be okay darling, she's the most courageous woman I know"

"She is…" My lips curl into the smallest of smiles at the thought of her. Everything she has done, everything she continues to do. She is so brave, so courageous and she will fight. She will wake up.

She'll be okay.

I stand in the window staring out at the city.

12 hours.

13 hours. Ray and Carla return.

14 hours.

15 hours. Dad comes by to check on me.

16 hours.

17 hours.

18 hours. Ray and Carla return.

19 hours and the door opens.

A bed being wheeled into the room and there she is.

Attached to a beeping monitor, a tube through her nose and an IV in the back of her hand with the wire leading up to a fluid bag.

Fuck.

She looks so pale, so fragile, so weak, so unlike my Ana.

She's normally blushing, full of life, smiling, filled with excitement and joy.

This Ana, I don't like seeing her like this.

I rush to her side and her eyes are closed with her head rested back against the pillow. An unpleasant hospital gown covers her body but she still seems to make it look beautiful.

Her hands are rested at her sides and I take no time in gently taking her left hand into mine.

"Oh, Ana….I'm so so sorry".

The nurse continues to set her up into the room, checking her vitals and everything once again before the Doctor walks in.

"Mr. Grey" He smiles and offers his hand to me which I take with my free hand but never let go of Ana.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm positive she will be...her body has sustained trauma so it'll take some time to heal and come around but I have high hopes she's going to be okay. The bullet was a through and through and caused damage and internal bleeding. We had to manage a blood transfusion due to the amount of blood loss which would have a great effect on her body. We'll be back and forth to check on her, twice every hour until she wakes on her own. We just have to give her time and let her rest to allow her body to heal and deal with the trauma it's occurred. When she wakes she might be a little disorientated, she will still feel the pain inside her, possibly even more now due to the surgery she has had internally and she may suffer a little depression because of the trauma but all that is natural"

"So….we just have to wait? But she's going to be okay?"

He nods and puts his hand on my shoulder as I look down at Ana. "I'm confident" He smiles. "I'm sure your Mom will be checking on her too"

She will, she definitely will.

"we're just waiting on a few tests to come back and then I'm confident she'll wake in the next few days when her body is ready"

"Thank you, Doctor, I appreciate your help and for keeping her alive"

"Of course Mr. Grey"

He takes his leave and I'm left alone with her.

I text her Dad of the news, they need to know their daughter is okay.

_'We're on our way' _

I read Ray's reply before I gaze at her small fragile body in front of me. Sitting in the chair at the side of her bed and I just watch her.

Watching the way her chest rises and falls with her slow breathing.

I gaze down her body and the hospital gown is covering the wound that was once there.

It looked horrible.

When my Mom revealed the blood under her jacket and then when we were in the ambulance and I saw the damage, I feared she wouldn't make it.

But now, she's here in front of me, she's breathing.

She's not awake but she's breathing, her heart is still working, her body is still alive and she is still here. She is still fighting.

I keep her hand in mine for what feels like hours.

Ray and Carla came again.

Nurses and the Doctor coming and going all day, all night and throughout the next morning.

I stayed the entire time, every single moment.

I'm going to be here when she wakes. I don't give a fuck how long that is.

I will be here.

The next day Teddy comes and he's so upset to see his Mommy laying there without the energy to hold him.

"Is Mommy goings be okay Daddy?" He sniffles gazing at her fragile frame.

"She will be buddy, she will be" I kiss his forehead.

Seeing him so hurt, so quiet. I can hardly bear it. I stand gently with him and I put him to lay on the bed beside Ana. The side where the bullet missed. "Be very very careful Buddy okay? Mommy's very hurt"

He nods and he doesn't even touch her. He simply lays at her side gazing up at her with teary eyes.

"I miss Mommy's cuddwles"

"I know Buddy, I know…Daddy does too" I sigh sadly.

I watch them both laying there. Teddy never once removing his eyes from her. I notice him looking down towards her hand and it makes my heart break. "It's okay buddy, you can hold her hand".

And as soon as the words leave my lips he puts his tiny little hand in hers and he curls a little closer to her starting to cry.

My own eyes swelling with tears now as his petite little frame is so broken beside her.

My Mom watches us with a short sad smile.

The time passes and a Nurse comes in for the usual check up on her.

"Hey, sweetheart, why don't we go and get your Daddy some lunch and some chocolate?" Mom asks but Teddy shakes his head.

"Stays wiv Mommy and Daddy" He mumbles hiding his face into Ana's arm. My heart is breaking for him and I wish, I just wish I could make everything okay.

"Come on Buddy, Daddy will take us…"

I am hungry, I haven't eaten since Ray brought me something hours and hours ago.

I sigh standing and I look to my Mom, "Anything, the slightest movement, anything…"

"I'll call you darling" She smiles sadly with a nod and with Teddy's little hands wrapped around my neck I carry him to the cafeteria.

"What shall we have baby boy?"

He shrugs, he doesn't want to eat and honestly, neither do I.

I have completely lost my appetite.

"How about we take a sandwich in case you want one later?"

He nods and nestles his face into my neck. Seeing him so upset and so confused is making my heart hurt more than it already is.

It's hard for me, I can't imagine what it's doing to him.

I pick up two ham sandwiches, chocolate bars, crisps, juice, and a coffee. Adding a few items for my Mom too.

"Okay Buddy, let's get back"

He nods keeping his head rested on my shoulder.

"Is Mommy weaving?"

"She'll never leave you, Teddy…she loves you" I kiss his head.

"Mommy huwted"

"Yeah she is, but she loves you so so much that she'll wake up and she'll give you the biggest cuddle ever okay?"

"Pwomise?"

How can I promise that?

Fuck.

I can't even promise myself so how can I do it to Teddy?

But she will wake up, she's breathing, her body is recovering, but she's going to be fine.

"I promise buddy"

I said it.

I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't.

I open the door to her room and when I step in, the Doctor and 2 Nurses are around her bed.

Now for the last fuck knows how many hours, One nurse has to come to check and One Doctor.

Now suddenly there's 3 in here!

What the fuck!

"Christian! Your phone wasn't on!" My Mom says hurriedly and when I pull it from my pocket it is in fact, Dead.

FUCK!

"What's going on? What's happened?"

"We need to take her for some scans and tests Mr. Grey"

"What the fuck?! WHY! Is she okay?"

I deliver Teddy to my Mom who's now weeping in her arms watching as they wheel Ana out of the room.

"She's fine, we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay…"

"Baby? What baby? what the fuck?"

I look to my Mom with full panicked eyes.

"She's pregnant Christian," She says calmly and puts her free hand on my arm.

My gaze moves from her eyes to her hand on my arm and then to Ana.

She's pregnant?

What the fuck?

Ana is pregnant.

How?

What?

The fuck.

"You didn't know…." The Doctor looks sympathetically and I move my head in the smallest of shakes.

Of course I didn't fucking know.

I didn't know, neither did she.

Or did she?

Fuck.

A baby?

She's pregnant.

Fuck.

...I have no words.

"Is…Is it okay?" I look at him with such worry.

"That is what we are going to find our Mr. Grey, Ana is doing well….we have just received the blood results we took yesterday and they've shown a positive result for pregnancy so we need to investigate further to ensure everything is doing fine."

Whoever did this?

Whomever the fuck did this almost killed my fiance and now…Now they might have killed our baby too.

Whoever did this, is going to fucking pay.

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	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55…

I have no idea how long I've been laying here for.

I'm aware of what's going on around me, I can hear voices, I recognize who's at my bedside. But I have no energy to move.

No energy to open my eyes.

No energy to speak a name.

Nothing.

I can still feel the pain inside of my body and now and again when the pain gets too much, I dip back into a blackout.

I despise blacking out.

At least when my mind is awake I can imagine, I can overhear them, I can sense them.

I just wish I could connect with them.

I wish I could move a finger just to let them know I'm alright. Just to let them know I'm fighting.

Striving to wake and be united in their arms again.

My Dad has been here.

My Mom has been here.

Kate has been here.

Mia.

Carrick.

Grace.

Christian and Teddy.

The two most significant people in my life.

I just want to wake and see them, hold them, cuddle Teddy against my chest, feel the softness of Christian's lips against mine.

It's been torture.

Laying here without stirring, but listening to them talk about me.

I hazily remember Teddy taking my hand and if my body was awake like I wish it was, I know, I just know I would have welled up with tears at his gesture.

I felt his light hand in mine and I fought, I battled so hard to be able to curl my hand around his small fingers just to comfort him but my body deceived me.

The agony of the wound betrayed me.

"Is Mommy goings be okay Daddy?" I hear the small sniffle escape his lips. I can only imagine, I can only picture what he's doing. I can only picture his sad little face as he sniffles against Christian's chest.

I miss them, I miss them so much.

"She will be buddy, she will be"

I feel a shift on the bed beside me, but still, my body refuses to react to it.

I'm getting annoyed with myself, I need to fight harder. I need to wake up, I need to fight.

"Be very very careful Buddy okay? Mommy's very hurt"

"I miss Mommy's cuddwles"

"I know Buddy, I know…Daddy does too"

I do too. I miss their embrace, I miss their hugs, I miss their cuddles.

I wish, I just wish the 3 of us could be at home curled under the blanket in front of the fire watching one of Teddy's beloved movies.

Or the 3 of us curled up in bed together, Teddy laying between us and Christian's arm resting over him and landing on my waist.

"It's okay buddy, you can hold her hand"

That's when I felt it. The warmth of his tiny little hand in my palm and feeling his small petite body curl into my side. Barely even touching, but the contact is there.

If I was awake I'd be weeping and I can feel my heart crumbling inside.

I wish, I just wish I could move my arm around him, move my hand to capture his fingers in some sort of action but no. My body is still betraying me.

"Hey, sweetheart, why don't we go and get your Daddy some lunch and some chocolate?"

Grace is here with them too.

"Stays wiv Mommy and Daddy"

"Come on Buddy, Daddy will take us…Anything, the slightest movement, anything…"

"I'll call you darling"

I hear the door close signaling Teddy and Christian's leave.

"Oh, Ana darling…." I feel Grace's delicate and soft hand caress my cheek. "Please, wake up…They're lost without you" She sighs sadly and continues her delicate caress.

Until I feel unfamiliar hands.

Poking, prodding, jabbing. Oh my gosh the pain in me is increasing and I can hear the monitor bleeping more swiftly now.

What is going on?

I can sense the darkness overcoming me again, I can feel the pain rising up and wanting to send me to the blackness.

"Christian! Your phone wasn't on!"

What's going on?

"What's going on? What's happened?"

"We need to take her for some scans and tests Mr. Grey"

"What the fuck?! WHY! Is she okay?"

I can feel the darkness coming, my light is dimming and dimming. My energy draining from my being so slowly.

The noises and voices are becoming blurred, fuzzy and hard to hear as my body and mind start to fade.

"She's fine, we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay…"

Baby?

Baby?

Wait….did I hear…

Oh gosh, has something happened to Teddy?

Oh, No….I…

If Teddy is hurt…I…

"She's pregnant Christian"

My body fades into blackness.

I feel like I'm gone forever, it seems like a lifetime until the next time I hear anyone's voice.

"It's been 4 fucking days El…she still hasn't moved, not even a fucking twitch"

"She's taken a bullet bro, just give her some time"

"It's been 4 fucking days!"

"That's barely anything Bro, just relax"

"She's going to be okay…she's a fighter. She always has been and always will be…She has you to fight for, Theodore and now another little one growing inside of her. She'll pull through"

I hear Kate's voice.

Kate is here.

But wait…

_another little one growing inside of her_

_another little one growing inside of her_

_another little one growing inside of her_

_another little one growing inside of her_

…I….What?

_we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay_

_we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay_

_we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay_

_we just need to make sure the baby is doing okay_

I'm pregnant.

That's what they meant…it wasn't Teddy.

Oh my gosh….I'm pregnant.

Christian and I…we…we're pregnant.

I'm having a baby.

Is he happy?

Will Teddy be happy?

Oh my goodness…

"Yeah! Christian and his super sperm strikes again" I hear their laughter.

"Fuck off El" Christian chuckles.

I'm pregnant.

Christian and I are having a baby.

I..I can't believe it, I truly can't.

The birth control…how…oh….

The new house…Christian didn't have protection and we...

We were daring.

Maybe too daring…

Is he happy about a new baby?

Am I happy about a baby?

"Is there any news about who did it yet?"

"Taylor has watched the CCTV over and over and over…the only thing we have is the image of someone dressed in black but the CCTV doesn't pan far enough to get a view of the side of the bridge where we were standing. You can't see the incident at all. But it's like they knew…they knew exactly when to do it, they knew where to walk out of the cameras, it was perfectly executed and not a single person saw them. Taylor has interrogated everyone." He sighs.

"Fuck…who the hell would even do something like this?"

"I have no fucking idea, but when I find out…I can promise they'll be taking their last breath. I'll fucking kill them. They almost killed her, they almost killed my baby…what if it had been Teddy?"

"I'll fucking kill them with you bro…and luckily, Teddy is fine, don't think about that scenario, he is fine"

"But Ana isn't and the Baby….who knows what trauma it could have caused it! What if it'll cause complications later on?"

"Stay positive Christian, stay positive," Kate says and that's the last thing I hear.

I...I can't concentrate as the pain starts to take over again dipping me into darkness.

Blackout.

Next comes my Mom and Dad's voice again. Listening to them crying, hearing them plead with me breaks my heart. I am trying, I am trying….I'm trying for everyone.

I don't know how much time passes before my mind comes to life again. But I feel strangely better today, I feel a humble amount of energy inside of me today and I'm going to fight with it.

I'm going to use it to come back to them.

"Our little Annie"

"Please wake my beautiful girl," Mom says as she kisses my head.

Hearing them make conversation with Christian, makes my heart swell. They stay a while, I'm not completely sure how long. I have no idea how long I've even been laying here.

"Have you been home at all Christian?"

"No…I want to be here when she wakes"

Oh, my poor Christian.

"We can stay here with her, go home..shower…get some rest"

"Thanks, Ray, but I'm okay really…I want to be here"

Then after a while longer, I hear the door open and close and it's silent. They must have left again leaving Christian and me alone.

"I can't…I can't believe you're pregnant…" I feel Christian's hand take mine. "I hope, you're okay with the news when you wake up. I'm not sure if you can hear me and I'm not sure if you'll be angry with me but I don't care. Not right now…I just want you to wake up. I want you and our baby to be healthy. I need you, Ana. You might be pissed at me for getting you pregnant. Fuck, if I hadn't sent Taylor home maybe this wouldn't have happened. It's all my fault and you can hate me as much as you want. I deserve it. But, I need you to come back to me. Teddy needs you, I need you and now…our baby needs you. This is all my fucking fault and I am so so sorry, but please wake up….please….I love you" He kisses the back of my hand.

Oh, Christian…

I love you and I love Teddy and I will love this baby, our baby.

None of this is your fault. I could never be angry at you.

I'm trying. I wish I could just clutch your hand to let you know I can hear you. I hear your every word, Christian, don't give up on me. I love you.

"Daddy!" Teddy squeals and I hear his feet along the ground before hearing the kisses Christian gives him.

"There's my boy…Did you have fun at Grandmas?"

"I wanteds to be wiv Mommy and Daddy"

"I know Buddy, I know…" Christian whispers and I can only imagine him holding Teddy close.

"Mommy wakes yet?"

"Not yet…but she will"

"Hopses so. Cans I cuddles wiv Mommy?"

"Of course Buddy"

"Any news?" Grace says.

"Nothing yet" Christian sighs.

"Have hope darling, another day is closer to her waking"

I feel the movement against my bed and then Teddy's warm delicate little hand in mine.

I want to smile and I try to force it, but nothing. Nothing becomes of my body once again.

I'm getting so frustrated with myself.

Feeling him curl against my side sends warmth through my body.

"Pwease wakes up Mommy…pwease" He mumbles against my shoulder but I hear him.

I hear him loud and clear.

I feel him peck my cheek and that tips me over the edge.

Then, I feel the familiar kiss of Christian's lips against my head.

My body igniting with love and hope.

Fight Ana!

Fight!

Keep fighting!

Fight!

I keep telling myself.

Fight yourself back to them.

Fight!

A small whimper emits from my lips.

"Mommy?! MOMMY!"

"Ana? Ana….I'm here…Ana…" Christian takes my hand while his other caresses through my hair and strokes my cheek trying to get any form of acknowledgment from me.

"I'll get Doctor Bartlett," Grace says and I hear the door open and close,

"Mommy! I hewes Mommy!" I hear Teddy's sweet voice and I manage to tenderly squeeze his little hand to let him know I can hear him. "Daddy! She squeezded my hand!"

"Keep talking to her Buddy, let her come back to us"

"Mommy! Mommy! Wakes up!"

"Come on Ana…come on baby"

Finally, with all the force that I have, my eyelashes flutter open but I squint at the bright lights situated right above my head on the ceiling.

"That's it, baby….come on…"

"Pwease Mommy"

And that does it, with every bit of stamina I have in my body, I gaze up at Christian who's eyes are tearing up as he cups my cheeks.

There is stubble covering his chin, under his nose and part of his cheeks. Nevertheless, he's still so handsome, although... He looks so pale, so lost, so sad.

My poor Christian.

He hasn't been home, he's been by my side the entire time. Has he eaten? Has he slept at all?

I give him the smallest of smiles as it's all I can endure.

"Oh, Ana…." He leans down kissing my head, once, twice and then a third time.

Teddy starts to sniffle and I glance down at him, his hand is still clutching mine.

I'm still weak, but I have the power to at least move now, even if it is only a little. The pain in my body is flowing through my ribs but I push past it. I push past it to comfort my boys.

"Th…There's m-my baby boy" Still struggling to breathe, I sputter my words with a raspy voice, still trying to produce the strength to make my body respond even more.

"Mommy" He sniffles again and he shuffles a little closer to me.

"Come…come h…here sweetheart" I breathe out whispering, as I carefully lift my arm for him which he willingly rushes into.

I grimace at the contact, but I can't let him see that. My heart is shattering seeing him sob into my hospital gown at my side. I rest my hand weakly against his back, as it's the comfort he needs.

Then, I hear Christian. His voice sounds so broken.

"I thought…I thought I'd lost you" Christian proclaims as he sniffs wiping his eye just as a tear trickles down his cheek.

"Y...You'll never lose me" I carefully lift my hand to cup his cheek. Trying to push past the pain as I do so. I watch as his eyes close in comfort and relief as he inclines into my embrace.

"I love you"

"and I love you"

"Wuvs you Mommy wuvs you Daddy" Teddy sniffles and I gently kiss the top of his head.

I'm here, I'm here. I gaze between them both.

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	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56…

I was starting to lose hope. 6 days.

6 days had passed but finally, when I caught the small whimper emit from her lips.

When Teddy felt her squeeze his hand.

All of my hope had returned.

My light had come back.

She was waking up.

She must have been in so much pain, I could see it written all over her face. But she was fighting.

She was fighting for us.

When her hand came into contact with my cheek, I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

I had missed her warmth, I had missed her touch, I had missed her with everything I had.

Teddy broke my heart, the way he was so overwhelmed with her waking, the way he curled into her as soon as her hand weakly summoned him into her embrace.

I caught the grimace in her face, the pain clearly shooting through her body but she overcame it, she gave him the comfort that he craved for, the comfort that he needed so desperately.

"I thought…I thought I'd lost you"

"Y...You'll never lose me" Her voice is pained and barely even a whisper, but she's awake. She's talking, she's connecting and that's all I care about right now.

"I love you"

"and I love you"

"Wuvs you Mommy, wuvs you Daddy" Teddy cries into her side and I notice the tear run down her cheek as she glances down at him.

Her lips placing the smallest and gentlest of kisses against the top of his head.

"I…I Love you…baby boy…" She whispers beaming down at him.

I can see the pain in her eyes, I can see the wincing of her body and I want to scold her for doing so, but how can I? How can I scold her when she's comforting him and giving him everything he needs.

Mom appears back with Dr. Bartlett and a nurse at his side.

They check her over, checking her blood pressure, temperature and everything else you could think of.

But Teddy doesn't leave from her side and she voluntarily continues to hold him while they check her over.

Teddy's little gaze pops from out from her side and observes the Doctor. Watching him like a hawk making sure he's being cautious with his Mommy.

I chuckle at his protectiveness, I admire where he gets that from.

"How are we feeling Miss Steele?" Dr. Bartlett asks.

"Sore…" She murmurs out and he agrees in understanding.

"That'll be the case for a while I'm afraid...The painkillers we'll start to give you now that you're awake will ease it, but if the pain becomes too unbearable you let us know immediately okay?"

She nods her head in agreement as he delivers her the small transparent cup of tablets.

"These will help and they're safe to take while pregnant too"

Fuck.

I hadn't told her yet. I wanted to reveal it to her gently.

Fuck what if she's angry.

Fuck.

I stir in my seat in a troubled frenzy.

I daren't look at her reaction.

But then, to my surprise, I feel her clutch my hand and when I look at her, she has the humblest of smiles on her face.

Wait…

Did she already know?

What?

I look at her curiously as I draw her hand to my lips kissing it tenderly.

"I'm happy with your results, your blood pressure is a little high but that's only natural after what you've been through…now if there's anything, any pain, any concerns, you call for me immediately. The nurses will continue the check up's every hour okay? Eating might be a little hard for you at the moment, it's okay to do so but I highly advise soft and small foods, soup, mashed potato…that kind of thing okay? And plenty of water."

"Th-Thankyou" She responds lightly.

"Thank you for everything Dr. Bartlett" I extend my free hand to him which he willingly takes.

"Of course Mr. Grey"

He takes his leave.

Once he's gone, Teddy instantly turns back into her side causing her to flinch again but she simply smiles when the pain fades and her arm maintains around him, holding him close.

She's a headstrong and stubborn thing, I swear she cares more about us than herself. But now, I'm concerned about her, I'm worried about her pain, I'm worried about the baby. She has to be cautious now, she has to take care of herself.

The baby…

When he told her the pills were fine with the pregnancy she barely even reacted.

Did she know about it before the incident?

Did she hear me talking to her?

Was she able to hear me the whole time?

Fuck.

What if she's disappointed?

"Ana darling" Mom moves to the side where Teddy is curled into her still, leaning down, she kisses Ana's head gently. "I'm so glad you're safe".

Ana naturally smiles at her gesture, but Mom can see we need to talk.

The mention of the baby was enough for my heart to pound with worry.

"Can I get you anything from the cafeteria darling?"

"No, Thank you…" Ana whispers.

Mom nods smiling and she leans down kissing her head once more. I love how much my Mom adores Ana, I really do. The relationship they have is something I never thought I'd see because I never imagined finding anyone she would approve of.

But Ana, fuck am I lucky to have found her.

"I'll leave you to have some family time okay? Shall I call around to tell everyone you're okay?" Mom asks as she gently rests her hand on my shoulder.

Ana nods and gives her a grateful smile.

Mom truly has been amazing.

"If you need anything, call me okay?"

"Thanks, Mom" I smile gratefully as does Ana.

"Bye my handsome grandbaby" She kisses Teddy's head.

"Bye Bye Gwandma" He whispers out of Ana's side making my Mom laugh.

"I'll see you all soon..."

And once she's left the room I look to Ana.

I feel somewhat nervous.

My thumb gently stroking over her knuckles.

Teddy looks at me, then up to Ana.

"Mommy stills huwted?"

Ana nods slightly.

"Yeah buddy, Mommy is still very sore"

"Otays" He rests his head against her shoulder ever so gently. He really does melt my heart.

Ana smiles kissing his head before looking back to me.

"So…"

"S..So…" She smiles and gives my hand the tiniest of squeezes, "A baby…?"

I nod, she did know and suddenly my whole being explodes with emotions. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes as she acknowledges the baby. I very rarely cry, never in fact before Teddy came along and then Ana.

But since having them both in my life, I find myself getting emotional almost constantly.

"Did you know?"

She shakes her head smiling, "I….I H-Heard…." I can tell she's struggling to breathe. Her eyes closing in pain and I quickly stand moving to her side. I caress my fingers gently through her hair in an attempt to soothe her body. I hate seeing her in so much pain.

"Shhh….baby, take your time…" I lean down her and kisses the top of her head gaining a small sad smile as she gazes up at me through tearful eyes.

Fuck, she must be in so much pain.

Her hand takes mine and she pulls at me gently, requesting my presence on her bed, to which I willingly accept.

I slip on the beside her and her head rests against my chest hearing the smallest little sigh escape her lips.

I glance down at a very quiet Teddy who has in fact fallen asleep in her embrace.

"I heard you…." Her voice sounds so broken. "Everything….I…I H-Heard it…all….". She smiles.

"You're not mad?"

With a shake of her head, I come into her gaze staring deep into the abyss of her eyes.

"I..Love you"

"Oh, Ana….I love you…I love you so much. Teddy, you and the baby are all that matters to me now" Tears flow down her cheeks and with a gentle thumb, I wipe them away.

"i...Is the…baby..okay?"

Running my hand massagingly through her hair.

"The baby is fine…luckily. How are you feeling?"

"I'll…be okay" She rests against my chest again.

I can tell she's tired and her body is draining and she needs all the rest she can get for her body to gain it's strength back.

"Rest baby, I'll stay right here"

A small whimper escapes again as her body grimaces with pain as she tries to comfortable. Not long after, her eyes closing and she falls asleep in my arms.

I watch her, I simply hold her and I watch her.

She's finally awake, she's hurting, she's in so much pain, she's struggling to talk, struggling to breathe but….but...she's alive and she's conscious.

Everything else I'll take care of, she won't have to do a single thing.

She's resting until she is 100% better and I won't have any arguments.

She almost died, she almost lost our child and now, I'm not taking any fucking chances.

Mom came back while Ana slept and stayed for a little while trying to convince me to leave. Trying to convince me to go home and get cleaned up. But I promised Ana I'd be here when she wakes. I'll go home when she wakes, just so she knows where I am.

About an hour later, Teddy wakes rubbing his sleepy little eyes.

"Mommy sweeping?" He looks at me when he notices Ana's eyes closed once again, he must be worried.

"Yeah buddy, it's okay…she's sleeping. She wanted to take a nap with you" I smile at him and my heart swoons when his little lips curl into a smile too.

That's the first time I've seen him properly smile since New Year's eve.

"Mommy goings be okays?"

"Yeah she'll be okay Buddy" I smile and I lift him into my free arm, holding Ana carefully and gently in one arm and having Teddy in the other.

This is the best feeling I've had almost all week. I just wish this cuddle was under better circumstances, laying on our sofa in front of the fire, laying in bed gazing out at the view from our wonderful new house.

There's a gentle knock against the door and when it slowly starts to open Ray and Carla pop their head around smiling.

"Hey…"

"Good Morning" They smile.

"Way!" Teddy smiles. I love how excited he gets when he sees her Dad, he spoils him with chocolate every time he visits and Teddy loves it.

I chuckle as Ray walks over to us and the first thing he does is hand Teddy a little chocolate bar.

"Fank You" Teddy smiles gratefully then looks up at me, holding up the shining packet. "Cans I have it, Daddy?"

I chuckle more and I carefully open it handing it back to him.

"Thanks, Ray"

He offers a small nod with a smile and looks to Ana.

"How is she doing?"

"She's alive…" I sigh softly. I haven't told them about the baby yet. Should I?

Would Ana want to?

I decide to keep my lips sealed until she wakes.

"She has more color in her cheeks compared to a couple of days ago" Carla presses a gentle kiss to Ana's head and she begins to stir.

"She's doing well….still in a lot of pain, but she's going to be okay at least" I smile as I gently help her to wake.

Her head stirring against my chest and her eyes fluttering open.

As soon as she sees her parents she gives them a delicate smile, "Mom…Dad"

"Oh Annie, my girl," Ray responds and you can hear the relief in his voice.

"We were so worried," Carla says taking her hand.

"I..I'm okay" Ana whispers, her voice still the same as before. Low. Husky. Broken and pained.

"Oh, my girl" Ray leans down kisses her head.

I glance down at her, she still looks so tired, so sleepy. I can't wait to just take her home.

"Mommy!" Teddy grins at her waking and she giggles seeing his chocolate-covered lips, but the giggle causes her to grimace in pain and lean further into my body trying to hide and conceal it away from Teddy.

Seeing her like this breaks my heart entirely.

"Hi, sweetheart" Once the pain fades she answers him but you can see the worry on his face. I carefully wipe his lips when he's finished with his chocolate, he crawls in beside Ana, her arm carefully moving around him once again.

The conversation continues but Ana's replies are a little short due to the pain and her struggles with breathing.

Leaning down, I whisper into her ear, "I haven't told them about the baby yet".

And her smile grows at that, her gaze up at me makes my heart melt. The way she looks at me with such love, such excitement.

"Mom….Dad….."

"Yes, sweetheart? Can we get you something?" Carla asks but Ana shakes her head with the brightest of smiles.

I can't believe I thought she's be pissed off at me for getting her pregnant. Mentioning the baby causes the best smile on her face. I bet her excitement would be 10 times happier if she had the energy in her body to celebrate our news. Soon though, definitely soon.

I can't fucking wait to see her pregnant, I can't wait to be by her side every single step, I can't wait to make her my wife and I can't wait to raise our children together, Teddy and now our little miracle.

I don't know what I would have done, what I would have felt, or how I would have reacted if they told me the baby didn't make it.

I plan to kill whomever the fuck did this anyway, but now…now I have more reason to. That reminds me to call Taylor. Maybe I could visit him today actually, see what evidence he has built up. Hoping we have some sort of lead.

"I…I'm…." Her breathing starts to become a little harsh and I caress my hand through her hair. She looks up at me smiling sadly.

"Is everything okay?" Ray looks at me filled with worry.

"I wanted to wait until she woke to tell you the news…"

"What news?" Carla asks and then looks to Ana who still has a bright smile thinking about our baby.

"Ana is pregnant…"

"What?! Really?!" Ray says with such enthusiasm, "I'm going to be a grandad?!"

Ana ends up giggling again but wincing with her pain.

Fuck, I wish I could take the pain away for her.

"Oh my goodness Ana, congratulations!" Carla says with a bright smile.

"Wots Pwegant?"

Teddy looks up at me.

Fuck. I forgot we hadn't explained to Teddy yet, he fell asleep during the conversation earlier.

Ana smiles moving her hand through his hair soothingly.

"Y...You're going to h..have a…baby brother or…sister"

"Wot?! Weally? I's having a bwother?!"

"Or a sister" I chuckle laughing at his remark.

"Yaaaaayyyyysssssss!" He squeals excitedly making Ray and Carla laugh at his reaction too.

I glance down to Ana who is smiling brightly but happy tears flow down her cheeks.

"Where's da baby?"

"In Mommy's tummy Buddy"

"Mommy ated it?"

We all burst into laughter at that one but Ana tries to stifle it in fear of the pain coming to shoot through her body.

"Daddy used his magic to put the baby in Mommy's Tummy to help it grow"

"Daddy got magic?!"

"Good luck with that conversation" Ray smirks teasingly.

Fuck. This is...hard work.

"I'll explain when you're older buddy okay? but the baby is going to grow big and strong in Mommy's tummy "

"Otays"

And that fuck he accepted that answer.

"Whens is da baby coming Daddy? Can I pway wiv them"

I laugh more. I'm so glad of his excitement.

"It'll be a while yet Buddy, they have to grow first and when they arrive they'll be very small but you can have lots and lots of cuddles, how does that sound?"

"Goods! I's having a bwother!" He grins.

"O...Or sister" Ana smirks.

"Or a sissy!" Teddy squeals making us laugh again.

Ana kisses the top of his head smiling brightly.

She seems to have more movement since she has woken up this time and I'm glad of that.

"Have you still not been home Christian?" Ray comments.

I shake my head feeling like a scolded schoolboy.

"Go home and shower, get cleaned up…we'll stay with her"

"Is that okay?" I glance down at Ana and she nods agreeably.

"I'll come right back, I won't be long"

I bend down and I peck her lips. The first time I've kissed her lips since New Year and it feels divine. It feels wonderful.

"Teddy come on Buddy, let's go home for a bath"

"Stay wiv Mommy and my bwother" He pouts making us all chuckle again.

"Come on, we have to have a bath, we'll come back to Mommy and the baby"

I hoist him into my arms and he sulks even more.

Ana gives him a little wave which he returns.

"L…Love you…S..Sweetheart" She whispers.

"Wuv you Mommy," He says back.

I kiss her lips gently once more, "Sure you'll be okay?"

She responds with a smile and clutches my hand in reassurance.

"Love y...You…"

"And I love you"

Teddy and I move to the door, both of us taking one more glance back at Ana before we close the door.

"Sawyer….Prescott….I'm taking Teddy home for a bath, Prescott I'd like you to accompany us…Sawyer, you remain here. Do not move away from that door, not once."

"Yes sir, Understood"

"My Mom, Dad, Mia, Kate, Eliot and her parents are the only ones allowed access, understood?"

"Yes sir" He agrees and I bring Teddy out of the hospital, Prescott in front of us checking the way before we climb into the car and traveling home to get cleaned up.

I do feel fucking disgusting.

I haven't shaved or showered all week.

The longest I have ever gone.

I feel dirty and I honestly cannot wait to stand under the cascading water and letting all the problems and stress rinse away with it.

Ana is alive.

Ana is safe.

The baby is alive.

The baby is safe.

Teddy is so excited about the baby too. I had worried he might not like the idea. He's not someone who makes friends or likes to play with other children, he's a lot like me...He prefers being on his own. He favors being independent. Even at school, Ana noticed it. It's been me and him for such a long time, then Ana came along… But he's happy and excited and that's the main thing. If it is a boy, I can visualize them being like Eliot and me.

But if it's a girl, Teddy is going to be so protective I just know it. It'll be like Mia and me all over again. But either way, I know, I just know he'll make an astounding big brother.

"I wuvs my famiwey Daddy"

"Me too Buddy, me too" I kiss his head as we walk up the steps of our home.

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	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57…

The mousy little rat. She believes she can come along and corrupt him.

Everything I worked toward, everything I supported him to gain.

I made him who he is! NOT HER!

She comes along and that's the end of it. Everything I ever worked for got thrown back in my face and she thinks I'll let it go just like that?

Stupid little bitch.

He came to the salon, he came to give me back the money I invested in his fucking company. He believes that's okay? He assumes he can just buy me off and I'll disappear? That money is still invested in that company. He has no idea how much money I actually put into that company. What he returned to me didn't even cover 30 percent of what I put into the company and the apartment for him.

I signed the contract, yes. I signed the one he gave me which stated I was no longer a partner. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

I copied it, I copied the stupid thing and sent it to him. What he has is an unofficial version that would never uphold…The official copy is still sitting in my office waiting for my next move.

But because of her, I haven't gained him back yet.

He's hypnotized by her. She has him under some sort of aphrodite spell and it's sickening.

Does he think he's a greater person now?

Really?

Without my help, he wouldn't be where he is now.

His parents had washed their hands of him, they were at their lasts end with him.

His rage, his violence, his appetite to cause harm and sadness.

I changed that.

I turned that into what he needed, I gave him what he needed to turn his rage into something else.

He can't just throw me out now.

Throwing my money back in my face just because his business is doing well now. But guess what? He wouldn't even have a fucking business without my input the ungrateful and spiteful prick.

Since he ditched me, since he threw my money and company in my face, my own custom has reduced and I'm hardly taking anything at the moment.

The salon has gone to shit. But, he still hasn't figured out that his business is still paying my partnership. I'm still gaining hundreds every week because of him. He's in a daze, he's too concerned about his little mouse and brat to realize that nothing has changed.

My husband left me, it was coming anyway. But before he left, I took his gun. The one he thought I didn't know about that he kept in a safe behind the picture he kept of his old wife in his office. The office he told me to never enter. Fucking idiot. It was obvious he still loved her, but she was dead and he settled for me.

Well, Mr. Lincoln, guess what? You're a fool.

Now…Now I have to do something.

The salon and company are what Christian and I had together.

When he came to me, he was lost, he wouldn't allow anyone to touch him, I knew his boundaries, I knew what he needed and I helped him deal with it.

I still know what he needs.

He changed when the little brat came along, he stopped coming over, he didn't need me as much. But at least he didn't throw me away like a piece of dirt.

But then…as soon as he found her, that was it. Thrown out like a bag of garbage.

I need to get rid of her.

I need to do something.

I need to rip it all away from her, she doesn't deserve to walk into his life and want for nothing.

His company was started by ME!

She can't just make her sickening love eyes at him and take his money. The gold-digging whore. That's all she is you know….a a gold digger.

She wants his fucking money, my fucking money, our fucking money.

Well, I won't allow it. She doesn't deserve it.

But I can't do it alone. I know I can't.

One step anywhere near the Grey house and Grace would have me beheaded.

I know Christian told them. It was obvious, I've kept my distance thinking I could get over it, thinking one day he'll come to his senses…but then. Then I saw the very beautiful, the very expensive, the very undeserving ring sitting on her pathetic little finger.

Engaged.

Their engagement plastered on every magazine, every newspaper, every tabloid.

And the new house.

He bought her a fucking house.

He got rid of the apartment I bought for him and he's thrown that away like a pile of garbage too.

Perfect little family? I don't think so.

If only they knew huh…

If only they knew the real Christian Grey.

I had thought about outing him, showing the world the real Christian Grey but by outing him, I'd have to be ready to out myself too and that I will not do.

So, I've decided to get rid of the gold-digging whore he's decided to settle for.

Looking into her background, doing a little digging. Christian may have some good security and some good contacts, but so do I.

Her father died.

Adopted by her stepfather.

Her mother left for years, came back with cancer.

Then…. some juicy news. She had a boyfriend before. Ex-boyfriends always have drama.

Jack Hyde.

I start to dig deeper into him.

Parking tickets, Speeding charges, arrested for being drunk, arrested for assault but no charges only a warning.

Assault huh? I wonder if she knew that?

Well, …that is very interesting and a useless piece of information for me.

He seems like your typical bad boy that she met at College.

He definitely looks like a dick head, but also looks like someone who would willingly take a full payment to do something as risky as this.

After obtaining his phone number, I dare to rope him into my plan. I buy a pay as you go phone to make contact with him so I cannot be tracked. I have to think of everything. I have to think of myself.

I cannot be made liable for anything. I just want to make her disappear. I want her gone and when she is…he'll slip back into his angry dominant ways and he'll come running back to me.

I know he will, I'm the only one that has ever helped his anger and when she's gone, he'll be full of it.

The question is, how far would this Jack Hyde go?

Pain?

Kidnap?

Murder?

I guess we'll find out.

_'Jack Hyde?' _

_'Who's this?' _

_'I believe you were in contact with a Miss Anastasia Steele?' _

_'That prude? Ha! Why?' _

_'How would you like to make a very easy 250 thousand dollars?' _

_'The fuck? How? Yes!' _

_'I want Miss Steele gone and I need your help to do that'_

_'what's the bitch done now? How do I know this isn't some sort of set up?' _

_'That is none of your concern, but it's a very easy 250 thousand. I promise you, it isn't a setup. I will leave 10 thousand dollars of the money at a safety deposit box along with further instructions. You will receive the rest of the payment when the job is done. Understood?' _

_'Understood' _

I send him the address of the safety deposit box, the number and the code to allow him access.

He doesn't know I'm following him to ensure he's fulfilling his duty because if he doesn't. Then I will move onto the next person.

I will visit Leila in prison and I will produce her bail money of 2 million dollars.

I don't think she would be best pleased to know Christian has moved on and found her son a replacement for her. Someone else he calls Mommy. That's enough to cause anyone's anger and hate.

Jack is the cheaper option, 250 thousand is nothing compared to what I would have to pay Leila. Between her bail money and then paying her.

But now…

Now it's a case of who is going to do the deed for me?

Will Jack live up to the expectations? Or will I have to release Leila and let her wrath on them?

Time will only tell….

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Well...you wanted the villain! Question is...who did the deed?


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58…

Slowly I tried to get up but instantly realized how futile it was when I had to bite my lip to keep from sobbing out. Sharp pain lanced through my head and colorful specks flashed in front of my eyes, it felt like my entire being had been transported through hell and back.

Grimacing in agony as my knuckles turn white while my hands grip the bedsheets firm in my hands as a rush of pain floods over me.

"Annie, sweetheart…take it easy" Dad scolds me as I try to reach for my cup of water.

"Stop being stubborn" Mom says as she walks to the bedside table and brings the cup to my lips.

Searing fiery bursts pulsated around the wound, intensifying with each breath I take now. That doesn't feel good at all.

"C..Can you call the D…Doctor?"

I cry and Dad worriedly races to push the call button beckoning for attention.

The pain terrifies me because when I'm still and laying back against my pillow it's like as if nothing has happened but the slightest of movements send a burning charge through my body. Through my abdomen.

It makes me feel nauseous, it makes me want to curl up and pity myself but I can't.

I can hardly move and I can feel the tears gliding down my cheeks now at my state.

Now Christian or Theodore isn't here I feel like I can show it.

While they've been here I've been too concerned to show my emotions, too anxious to show them the grimace on my face in fear they'll stop their embraces.

I don't want that.

Feeling Christian's arms around me for the first time in what feels like forever.

Having an upset Teddy curl up into my side.

How can I show them how much it hurts when all 3 of us have needed the contact and the connection with each other.

But now, now they are gone I feel emotional.

I feel lost, I feel…down.

The tears stream down my cheeks through the pain and with the sadness that I feel.

Who would do this to us?

Why would someone want to do this to us?

"Oh, Ana my baby" Mom cries with me as she brushes her hand through my hair.

My chest heaving and rising as I start to cry, the pain becoming worse and worse the more my emotions are spiraling out of control.

Finally, the Doctor arrives to calm my body. Handing me pain killers and helping to ease my thoughts.

"Shall I call Christian?" Dad looks to me but I shake my head.

I want him here, but I don't want him to see how broken I truly am.

I have to try and stay strong, I have to try and fight to the best of my abilities.

Through the pain, through the terror, through the hurt, through the fears.

"Are you sure?" He takes my hand sadly.

But I simply nod in reply once again, "H…He'll be back…S…Soon".

My voice still so broken, my body still so hurt.

"How would you feel about your seeing your baby Anastasia?" The doctor smiles at me once my blood pressure has been taken.

My eyes widen in delight at that, I look at him with surprise.

"C…Can we?"

"Of course… I can do it now?"

"C…Can we wait…for…"

"Of course" He smiles knowing exactly what I was about to say, "I'm sure the little one would love to see his baby brother or sister too"

I nod smiling even more gratefully now.

Teddy was so excited when we explained about the baby.

He's going to make a wonderful big brother.

The doctor stays for roughly 40 minutes, checking the calming of my body.

My blood pressure rose to an unhealthy amount during my last pain outburst and he wanted to make sure my body was fully calmed.

"How are we feeling?"

"B..Better, Thankyou…" I whisper and he nods.

"These pain bursts will continue when the medication is wearing off okay? Keep calling me whenever they start because we can't allow your body to go into overdrive"

The baby.

What if…what if there has been trauma to the baby?

What if it causes more damage in the future?

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes once again but this time I keep them at bay.

"When Mr. Grey and little Master Grey return we'll get that scan done okay?"

I simply nod and I watch as he takes his leave.

What if…What if…

What if I see the baby on the screen but then it doesn't make it?

What if I lose it?

What if the incident has caused too much trauma for both of us?

I can feel my body and mind becoming overwhelmed again. My heart pulsing in my chest at a harmful rate.

"Annie, sweetheart….what's wrong?" My Dad says soothingly and that's it. The rivers of tears flow down my cheeks.

"Oh, Ana" My Mom cries with me taking my hand.

"Wh…Who did this?" I cry.

"We don't know sweetheart, but Christian's team is going to find out"

"Wh..Why would they…. …."

My Mom's careful hand brushes across my cheek and I lean into her embrace. I cherish her embrace, her touch, closing my eyes as they continue to spurt out tears.

"It's going to be okay my girl….you'll get through this" Dad kisses my head and I nod lightly.

I want Christian to come back.

I want his kiss, his touch, his arms around me.

I love my parents and I love having them around but right now, I need him.

My body became exhausted from the worries and the crying, I feel so lost, so low.

I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep until I'm waking to the smell of a gorgeous scent wafting through the hospital room.

My eyes slowly flutter open trying to get used to the same bright lights that I always wake up to.

I look around, but there's no one here. Did my mom and Dad leave?

I try to lean up a little but I hiss in pain and I rest back against my pillow.

"Hey, …you're awake…." I hear Christian's voice from the other side of the room and once the rush of pain has disappeared I carefully turn my head to gaze over at him.

A petite smile pulling at my lips when I see him.

He's in the window preparing something on the table and whatever it is, it smells divine and has my stomach grumbling with glee.

"H…Hey…"

He looks wonderful.

In a new fresh pair of jeans, a plain white T-shirt showing off his muscles, he's shaven and his hair is washed.

I bite my lip seeing him, the excitement building in my heart when he pushes the table towards the bed and he beams warmly before leaning down and pecking my lips.

I cherish it, I want it to last longer but when he pulls away from me I immediately miss the contact.

So, fighting through the pain I lift my hand to his cheek and gaze up into his eyes.

Pleading with him to kiss me again.

I notice the way he's holding back like he's scared he's going to hurt me.

It will hurt, I know it will but I need it. I need him.

My thumb gently strokes over his cheek and I carefully pull him down towards my lips.

Feeling his lips move against mine softly, carefully, gently.

I close my eyes, cherishing this moment like it may fade from a dream at any moment.

The familiar burn stings through my body, but it's quickly healed when I get lost in his kiss.

I feel his lips curl into a little smile against mine, and I mimic him. My lips giving off the same relieving smile.

With his forehead resting against mine and his palm gently caressing my cheek, I feel warmth, I feel loved, I feel complete again.

"I love you" I whisper and as soon as the words leave my lips I feel him kissing me again which I gladly accept.

His kisses make me feel alive again, make me feel invincible.

"I love you too" He replies before sitting at the edge of the bed and taking my left hand in his gently playing with my engagement ring.

"Wh..Where's Teddy?"

I notice the quietness in the room, it's just the two of us.

"He fell asleep at the house and so my Mom came around to watch him…I thought it would be nice to just be the two of us for an hour or so until she brings him in later".

I nod gladly. Grace truly has been wonderful.

"I should scold you for being in so much pain when you cuddle him…I know it hurts" He says seriously but has a small smile as he looks at me.

"I…I can't help it…" I reply.

"I know, but please..be careful okay?" I simply nod.

Dare I tell him my worries about the baby? Dare I tell him how much pain I'm really in?

I'll save it for later because he kisses me again and I get lost into the dream of his lips.

"D…Doctor Bartlett…he…he said we can see the baby later" I smile.

"Really? We can?" He says with such excitement in his voice, it makes my heart explode with emotion.

His excitement over out baby.

"When Teddy comes…back…" I nod smiling more.

His gaze moves to my stomach and he smiles, smiling more like he's thinking about the baby.

"I can't believe you're pregnant"

"Me neither" I squeeze his hand.

"Speaking of pregnant…the doctor has informed me of all the nutritional guidelines for your healing and the baby…so on the way here I picked up some things… Leek and potato soup with a small bread roll…I hope that's okay?"

"It smells…d…divine" I look towards the table and he nods.

I try to sit up but the pain is simply too much. I can't lay down to eat it. I am not having him feed me but the pain takes over and I lay back down.

"Ana" He scolds me with furrowed eyes as I whimper. "Let me help you…" He sighs sadly, I can see the sorrow in his eyes but I nod gratefully.

A few grimaces but with his gentle help I end up sitting up. Not completely, but up enough that I'm able to at least feed myself and I'm glad of that.

I do feel more energized and warm today. My body doesn't feel so cold or broken. But the pain is most definitely still there, I'm just hoping it'll fade as the days pass.

Christian wheels the table closer, allowing the soup to land right in front of me and it really does smell amazing.

"I also got some fruit…watermelon…bananas….strawberries…all good for the baby and you" He kisses the top of my head and I feel overwhelmed by his kindness. "And some flowers to try and cheer you up"

I look to my bedside table and lo and behold there's a large bouquet of roses and a balloon with 'Get well soon'.

"That one is from Mia" He chuckles but I can't help but cry.

They have all been so wonderful, so kind and generous.

"Ana? What's wrong?" He worries when he sees the tears roll down my cheeks but I simply smile.

"I…I'm okay…I just…Th…Thank you for this" I gesture to everything in front of me and to the table where the ballon and the bouquet both stand colorfully. "I love you".

"Oh, baby…I love you too" He smiles sadly and kisses my forehead, "Now eat…" He beams and continues to sit at the side of my bed, helping me with the food whenever I need it.

I love him, I love him so so much and I will forever be grateful for him.

"D…Do they….do they know who did this?"

He simply shakes his head and I can see the smile that was once watching me eat has disappeared and a frown has taken its place.

"Taylor has scanned the CCTV but that's all we have is a black figure…whoever it was, they knew the house well…they knew where all the cameras were, they didn't even leave a trace, Ana…but I will find them, I will find them and when I do I will fucking kill them, Ana, I swear. The police are also on the case too, they've requested to speak with you but I've kept them at bay for now until you're ready to talk." He's becoming more and more irate and so I take his hand in an attempt to calm him.

I'm glad he's kept the police away for now, as much as I want whoever did this found, I'm not really capable of talking much as of yet and honestly? I don't have any information anyway. I didn't see anyone, I have no idea what happened. I know I will have to speak to them sooner or later, But for now, I just want my man. I want my fiance's arms around me allowing us to comfort each other.

"Come here…" I whisper taking his hand and gently tugging him onto the bed with me.

He looks at me with such sadness, such anger for whoever did this but right now, we just need each other.

He gladly takes my offer and rises onto the bed with me. His arm carefully moving around my shoulders and I eagerly rest against his chest.

Feeling his lips connect with the top of my head.

His free hand lifts a strawberry and he holds it to my lips smirking, I giggle, wincing as I laugh but I play it off as I gently bite into the red fruit. It really tastes amazing.

We continue like this for a while, simply enjoying our time together until suddenly there's a hustle outside.

"LET ME IN I WANT TO HELP!"

"You're not permitted to enter! Don't you dare!"

"Please! I have information!"

I swear I know that voice but I can't put my finger on it.

We hear Sawyer warning, leading me and Christian to gaze at each other curiously.

An angered Christian climbs off the bed and moves to the door, opening it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Christian's raised voice is irate and angry.

Who on earth is that?!

"I have information, please…"

I manage to tilt my head enough to see Sawyer holding a writhing Jack in a pair of cuffs.

"Information? What makes you think we'd trust you? You're a fucking dickhead" Christian spits.

Oh, he's so angry, he hates Jack even more than what I do.

"Does it look like I can fucking do anything in these right now? Stop being so proud and just hear me out!" He gestures to his hands that are safely secured in a pair of tight cuffs thanks to Sawyer.

Christian looks to me, and I simply nod.

What information could he possibly have?

"Spill" Christian hisses angrily.

"Okay...I didn't think whoever wanted this, would actually go through with it...but the incident is in the news and I had to come. I know we've had our differences but I could never hurt you Ana…not like that"

"What the fuck do you mean? What the hell do you fucking know?"

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	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59…

Witnessing her eating was the best view I've had all week.

The way her lips moved around the bread roll, the way she slurped her soup up and into her mouth.

My grin was wide and beaming.

Knowing she's going to be fine and knowing the baby is going to be fine.

I can't believe we get to see the baby later when Teddy arrives of course. I can't wait to see his reaction to his little brother or sister on the screen.

I'm also so excited to see Ana's reaction.

My reaction, well…I feel such pride, such happiness. Despite the incident, I feel so complete because my fiance is alive and she's carrying our baby.

How could I not be happy about that? Finally, I have a real family.

I just want to find whomever the fuck did this to them. Whomever the fuck did it is going to be taking their last breath.

I just need to find out who and fast.

I can't wait to watch my knuckles connect with their heads. Even the idea of them sends my blood curdling throughout my whole body.

I will fucking kill them for what they have done.

"D…Do they….do they know who did this?"

Her voice is still so harsh, still so broken. I hope she gets better soon, my poor girl.

I was watching her eat when she asked the question and my beaming grin turned immediately into a frown.

"Taylor has scanned the CCTV but that's all we have is a black figure…whoever it was knew the house well…didn't even leave a trace, Ana…but I will find them, I will find them and when I do I will fucking kill them, Ana, I swear. The police are also on the case too, they've requested to speak with you but I've kept them at bay for now until you're ready to talk."

The police keep badgering for information but what the fuck can we even tell them? None of us saw anything, it just happened in a blink of an eye.

Neither of us saw anyone, and neither of us knew what the events of that night would hold.

But I know they need a statement from her regardless. They've taken mine, Mom's, Dad's and the others and they have also started to question the other guests too.

My mind falling deep into the abyss of irate thoughts. A vortex of negativity and anger.

"Come here…" Her timid whisper pulls me from my thoughts and I look at her.

Right now, I need to make sure my girl and my baby are okay.

She takes my hand encouraging me to slip onto the bed with her which I willingly accept.

I rest beside her, moving my arm around her letting her take comfort against my chest.

I chuckle as I lift a strawberry to her lips and she takes the bite. I watch as her lips move around the moist red juicy fruit.

I have missed her embrace, I have missed her touch, I have missed her kisses.

Fuck, I can't wait for her to get better.

I need her to get better.

It goes quiet, the only noise of the birds outside the window and our shallow breathing as we hold each other. We just sit there silently holding each other. My fingers gently playing against hers, pressing kisses to the top of her head, to her cheek, to her forehead at every chance that I can get.

It's a blissful moment that we've both needed.

As much as we love having Teddy at our sides, we needed this time just the two of us. Ana needs the break.

I know she's in a fuckton of pain when Teddy cuddles into her side but she's too damn stubborn and too damn kind-hearted to reject him.

She loves his cuddles just as much as he loves hers, but she needs to be careful to allow her to get better.

I can't wait to take her home and care for her.

"LET ME IN I WANT TO HELP!"

"You're not permitted to enter! Don't you dare!"

"Please! I have information!"

What the fuck?

I look to Ana whos is looking back at me with the same confusion.

I make my way to the door to see who the fuck is ruining our time.

Upon opening it, my blood starts to burn through my veins like they've been doused with petrol and ignited.

Jack Fucking Hyde.

The sleaze that tried to take advantage of her the first time I ever saw her.

Why the fuck is he even here?!

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I spit out angrily.

"I have information, please…"

Information?! What could information could this dick head possibly have?

"What makes you think we'd trust you? You're a fucking dickhead"

"Does it look like I can fucking do anything in these?"

Thank fuck Sawyer is here… He is right, what can he do in those cuffs?

As long as he keeps as far away from Ana possible.

She's mine now.

I look back to Ana for extra support.

If he does have valuable information then I want to hear it, but if he doesn't then he's useless to me.

I just want to make sure Ana is comfortable with him being here too.

With a small nod from her, I allow him in.

Sawyer holding his arm for security.

"Sit the fuck over there and don't try anything. Just talk".

"About two days ago I got a text message…I didn't know who it was from, or what I was doing but they sent me an address for the safety deposit box. They asked me if I knew Ana, which I do…"

I sit beside Ana's bed taking her hand in mine.

"And this is information because?" I say angrily but Ana carefully and gently strokes my hand to calm my angry beating heart.

"When I got to the safety deposit box inside there was a gun…a map of your parents' house with every security camera mapped out and a note. "

"A …note?" Ana whispers, she's even curious herself.

"Yes…. 'At the stroke of midnight set the gun off against Anastasia'"

"That's it?!"

"That's it"

"So you fucking did this?!"

"What?! NO! I thought it was something to do with drugs or money… I don't know what I was thinking but when I opened the box finding the gun I knew I couldn't go through with it. Drugs and money, yes…but killing someone? No way!"

"Why the fuck didn't you report it?!"

"Look….I'm already balls deep in shit with the police for possession of cocaine, I've had a warning on assault…by taking this to them, they could have arrested me there and there"

"So they fucking should! You knew what was going to happen and yet you said nothing! Not a single fucking word!"

"What did you want me to do? I didn't know what was going to happen!"

"Tell the fucking police! Because of you, Ana almost died! Our baby almost died!"

"You're pregnant?" Jack looks at Ana in pure shock.

Yes, she fucking is. With my fucking child!

I glare angrily, my blood curdling with rage.

Ana nods towards him answering his question.

"Let me see those texts" I try to change the subject.

"I can't move my arms"

"Sawyer…get his phone"

Sawyer reaches into his back pockets, pulling out his iPhone.

"It's the first ones on there"

_'Jack Hyde?' _

_'Who's this?' _

_'I believe you were in contact with a Miss Anastasia Steele?' _

_'That prude? Ha! Why?' _

_'How would you like to make a very easy 250 thousand dollars?' _

_'The fuck? How? Yes!' _

_'I want Miss Steele gone and I need your help to do that'_

_'what's the bitch done now? How do I know this isn't some sort of set up?' _

"250 Thousand dollars? That's it? You're a real dumb fucking shit you know that?" I glare at him.

But then my mind wanders, It wanders to a place filled with a vortex of overthinking, over analyzing, over protecting and negativity.

Who the fuck has that kind of money? Who knows Ana that has that kind of money?

Who knows us to have that kind of money.

Elena….

Elena fucking Lincoln.

But how?!

How the fuck!

She's the only devious snake that I know would pay thousands for someone else to do her fucking dirty work.

I can feel the rage bursting through my veins. I am so fucking angry. I'm irate. I'm mad. I want to kill someone, I want to send my fist flying into the nearest wall. They'll fucking pay for this! Why the fuck didn't Jack go to the police! Why did I out Elena to my parents?! Is this my fault? Did I do this to her?

Did she nearly die because of me? I brought this upon us.

Regrets of the past causing my future to almost crash and burn.

Why!

Why the fuck was I so stupid back then?! Why did I ever let her into my life?! This is all my fault!

I put the phone down onto the bed, walk up to Jack and I punch him. I punch him so hard I swear I even hear a crack.

"ch…christian…." I hear Ana's cry, pleading with me.

It breaks my heart hearing her soft fragile and broken voice. But hearing her cries because of my actions hurts even worse.

He fucking deserves it, but right now I have to keep my fucking cool for her. I leave it at one punch, luckily it was a good one!

I look to Ana who has tears in her eyes, her chest rapidly rising and deflating with her emotions and worry.

I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry…

I move back to her side and she takes my hand tightly, her head resting into my chest as I embrace her.

Jack watches us, and I want to punch him again. Harder though if that's even possible.

"You should have gone to the fucking police!"

"I couldn't not with my record!"

"Do you think I give a fuck about your record right now when My Fiance and baby were fighting for their lives!"

"Look, I'm sorry…I should have, but this is why I'm here now… I want to help"

"You? Help? You're fucking sick! Sick and twisted! Is this some sort of game to you?!"

"No! As much as Ana and I left on bad terms, She's a good woman and doesn't deserve this…I truly just want to help"

"I really want to rip your fucking head off for calling my fiance a prude and accepting 250 thousand dollars to attempt to kill her"

"I didn't know what they wanted okay! Fuck!"

"You're lucky she survived else, you'd be taking your last breath today too…. Did you ever see the person that sent these texts?"

"No…I got to the deposit box and I left it all there, I closed it and I walked away. I could never hurt her, not like that"

Ana looks at him sadly, but I think it's more from the pain I caused, making her cry and she watched my fist connect with Hyde's fucking face.

"Well, the police will be in touch with you and so will my security…I'm keeping this until we find the fucker that did this" I hold up his phone and Sawyer roughly drags him out of the room.

I have no idea who else it could be, but I need to find out.

I thought Elena's business was burning since I left it since I removed myself from the partnership.

But…

I pull out my cell phone calling Ros.

"Christian"

"Ros..hi..can you get me all the information on a Mrs. Elena Lincoln…she should be in our system, check her bank accounts, call logs, payments, everything"

"Right away sir…"

I stay on the line while she checks…

And checks…

And checks…

"Sir…there's been 6 deposits into the account, all of which 100 thousand dollars"

"Who the fuck authorized those?!"

"I'll find out"

I hang up furiously.

Fuck.

I look down at Ana…

"It's her…."

"Wh…What?"

"It's Elena…"

"Sh…she did…this?"

Watching Ana grimace in pain as I nod. Her breathing becoming more rapid.

I'll fucking kill her. I will.

That's it Elena, step too fucking far.

"I'm going to go and see her"

"N…No….please….d..don't leave me…" She cries against my shoulder and I can't leave her, I just can't. Not right now anyway.

I nod and I kiss the top of her head as I caress my fingers through her hair.

She's so fragile, so sad, so unlike my Ana. I hate seeing her this way I really do.

"I'll never leave you, Ana, …ever…but she is going to pay for this"

I pull out my phone calling Taylor, telling him of the news.

But we need a plan, we need to trap her, we need to do this with logic and just not have me rushing in all guns blazing to try and take her down alone.

It's not going to work. As much as I want to, I know it's not logical. We have to fight fire with fire.

During my phone call to Taylor, I find out that he has, in fact, found the bullet that caused Ana's injuries.

As a through and through, the bullet had to be somewhere and finally, Taylor and his team have found it.

With days of searching, it revealed it belonged to, Mr. Lincoln. Her husband.

Everything is fitting together, all the pieces of the puzzle becoming one.

I'm taking her for everything she fucking has I swear.

Crossing me and not signing the contract to ensure she was still getting paid is one thing… and I sure as hell will be firing a fuck ton of my team when I get Ana out of this fucking hospital and I go back to my office.

But trying to kill my fiance, the mother of my child, the love of my life…that is a step too fucking far and she is going to pay dearly for it.

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I am so sorry for the lack of updates, I'm currently in the process of moving countries and It's been a whirlwind! Please be patient and stick with me just for a week or two as I try to settle and continue to write more chapters! I promise you there's plenty more to come it might just take a little longer to update compared to my usual daily updates.

Thank you for all of your support, reviews and follows. It means so much to me!

Anyway, I hope you will continue to enjoy the story while I update as often as I can. Again, I am sorry but wifi isn't the best connection right now while my apartment is being set up.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60…

Watching Christian's hand come into contact with Jack's face reminded me of the first time we met. It brought butterflies but also dread.

The butterflies of the remembrance of him protecting me against Jack at the club but then the dread…the dread of seeing such anger in Christian's eyes. The fear he might go too far.

What if…

What if he kills him?

I know for certain he could and would right now… I almost died and what's worse…our baby almost died.

The tears were welling up in my eyes as I watched the scene in front of me.

"Ch…Christian…."

I sob and I can't help it.

As soon as his eyes meet mine, I can already see calmness overcome them.

That's it my Christian, come back to me.

I weakly reach for him and he willingly walks back to the bed and sits beside me.

I take every pleasure of burying my face into his chest.

Feeling him, his arms around me, his hand in mine. His scent filling my nostrils is everything I want and need right now.

Jack didn't shoot me, He should have gone to the police…but he didn't. He'll get his just rewards for that. But now…

We just have to concentrate on finding who did this.

Who did this?!

Who would do this?!

Sawyer escorts Jack out leaving it just the two of us again and I'm thankful for the calm.

Christian picks his phone out of his pocket and takes my hand with the other.

"Ros..hi..can you get me all the information on a Mrs. Elena Lincoln…she should be in our system, check her bank accounts, call logs, payments, everything"

"Right away sir…"

I look up at him curiously.

Why is he asking about Elena?

Does he know something?

Why the hell is he calling about her?

I can feel my heart rate begin to grow and pound harder and faster.

It's quiet for the longest time. I wait to hear.

And wait….

And wait…

Playing my fingers gently against Christians to try and soothe us both. I can feel the pain medication starting to wear off again. I can feel the pain starting to stir through my veins again.

The pain, the emotions, everything… I feel overwhelmed.

"Sir…there's been 6 deposits into the account, all of which 100 thousand dollars"

Fuck.

I look down to Ana…"

"It's her…."

"Wh…What?"

"It's Elena…"

"Sh…she did…this?"

He simply nods at me.

The jealous snake did this. The abuser, the sick and twisted bitch.

I …

I can't actually believe it.

Does she want him that much she'll go to these lengths?

Surely not?

She has a husband…

Her own business…

I...

The tears start to roll down my cheeks and I hide into his chest once again.

How are we supposed to deal with that?

"I'm going to go and see her"

"N…No….please….d..don't leave me…"

I'm too emotional to be alone and not only that, I don't want him anywhere near her.

Who knows what she might do.

Please, Christian…please….don't go….

I look up at him begging even more and he looks at me with sadness completely filling his eyes.

"I'll never leave you, Ana, …ever…but she is going to pay for this"

I don't want him near her, but I simply nod and I let him hold me.

As long as he is here at my side I have nothing to worry about.

She will pay for this, she will. If it was her…she will pay and we'll make sure of it.

What if it had been Teddy that got hurt?

He would have never survived this.

It's a miracle the baby growing inside of me is still growing too.

As a protective mother now, my own fury is raging and I feel so damned angry.

She deserves everything she gets.

Everything.

Together, we can bring her down.

My thoughts go on and on and on and on…

The soothing movements of Christian's hand through my hair, his soft and gentle kisses to the top of my head, my forehead, my we both need. I know he's thinking too and I know he wants to go right over there to confront her…but Taylor told him he's got this and we have to put our faith in Taylor.

The phone call Christian had with Taylor seemed positive. I listened carefully so I was able to hear Taylor at the other end.

They found the bullet, that spun through my body.

I don't know where they found it, but at least we have the evidence now.

The gun was registered to Mr. Lincoln.

That's good enough evidence to know Elena is behind this.

We sit there and I look up, watching Christian overthinking, then I realize I'm doing my own overthinking too.

Over and over and over….

If she couldn't get Jack to do it…Who did she get instead?

I am grateful for Jacks' confession though, as much as I agree he should have gone to the police, at least he did the right thing.

Better late than never I suppose.

After a little while, the pain is barely tolerable anymore and Christian presses the button signaling for the Doctor. Same procedures as always.

Blood pressure.

Heart rate.

Medication.

"When's little Grey coming back to see the baby?"

I had completely forgotten.

We were meant to see the baby tonight, but with everything going on it's completely slipped our minds,

"In a couple of hours, if that's okay Doctor?" Christian answers for me.

"Of course Mr. Grey, whenever you're ready just give me a call…..Ana these meds should kick within the hour okay?"

"Thank you" I simply respond with a small smile before watching him leave.

Our little blip growing inside of me. I put my hand over my tummy and I gently caress it.

Christian gazes down and his eyes follow to where my attention is.

His hand soon covers my own and helps me with the gentle caress.

I think seeing our little miracle is what we need, we need the positivity, we need the good news, we need the happiness.

"I love you… and I love Teddy…and now our new little miracle…I can't believe you're pregnant" He whispers to me and my smile grows.

"I can't believe it either, but all of us…all 3 of us we all love you so so much Christian" I can feel the tears welling again now.

"Our little family" He smiles down at me and my emotions are running wild. I nod and I lean further into him, my hand gently cupping his cheek as I kiss him deeply. Lovingly.

Everything we both need right now.

Between overthinking, worrying, being emotional and in pain. Then with the gentle caress of Christian's fingers through my hair.

We simply hold each other, enjoying the embrace.

Before I know it, I'm suddenly waking.

I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep until my eyes are fluttering open and adjusting to the lights.

There's no one beside me.

I lift a little to gaze around.

But there's no one here.

Oh…

Oh no…

Has he gone…

Would he have gone to her?

I'm in fear.

Fear of what he might do.

Of what she might do…

I can feel my heart rate increasing as I try to reach for my phone that Christian placed onto the bedside table for whenever I needed it.

I quickly dialed his number.

No answer.

I try again.

No answer.

I dial again.

No answer.

Then suddenly the door is opening gradually and two small little feet come bounding over to my bedside.

"Mommy!"

It's Teddy.

I sigh with relief when I look up towards the door and Christian is there with food in his hands and Teddy's little blanket.

"Hi, sweetheart!" I smile softly and I giggle, wincing ever so slightly. Definitely not as much pain as before but it's still slightly there.

I giggle as he tries to climb up onto my bed but his little body isn't tall enough to reach.

Christian chuckles stepping up behind him and lift him onto the bed.

I reach my arm out for his embrace which he willingly accepts.

"How's my little handsome man?"

"Goods…misseded Mommy's cuddles"

My eyes fill up again as I hold him close to me.

Christian must have gone to pick up Teddy while I was asleep, or Grace or Carrick dropped him off. Either one, but atleast….

At least he didn't go to her.

I smile gazing up towards Christian who then willingly leans down and kisses my lips softly.

"I brought you some food…I wasn't sure what you wanted so I just got a little of everything"

"Thank you, I love you" I whisper.

"Daddy says we see my Bwother Mommy!"

"Or sister" Christian reminds him making us all laugh at his little words.

"Ors Sissy! Cans we Mommy? Cans we?!"

"Of course we can, we've been waiting for you" I kiss his head and that only makes him curl further into me.

I've missed his little cuddles too.

I love having him around.

I gently move my blankets around him to keep him warm and so he feels even closer to me.

Christian sits at the edge of the bed and strokes his thumb across my cheekbone.

"The police have been to Elena's and they've arrested her…"

"They have?"

He simply nods.

"I'm glad you didn't go to her I was worried what she might do…." I say quietly, my voice barely even a whisper.

"She won't be doing anything to us ever again, I promise" He kisses my forehead and I close my eyes with the smallest of sighs.

I hold Teddy a little closer before Christian lifts him into his arms so I can eat my mashed potato and soft vegetables and it really does taste divine...

Once I'm done Teddy sits excitedly back onto the bed.

"Cans we see da baby nows, Mommy?"

Christian laughs listening to him.

I'm thrilled at his excitement for his baby brother or sister. It really is adorable to watch.

I smile radiantly and look up at Christian who for the first time all day has a smile on his face.

"I'll call the Doctor, shall I?

I nod in answer.

I can feel butterflies somersaulting in my tummy.

This is such a perfect moment, all 3 of us here to see our little miracle growing inside of me.

Within half an hour Doctor bartlett is coming into the room along with a nurse and a machine.

"Are we ready to see your little brother os sister?" He says aiming it towards Teddy who eagerly nods sitting in Christian's lap.

"Now because of your wound, we may only see a small amount okay? And if it hurts at all, even the smallest amount you tell me immediately"

I nod smiling in agreement as the nurse starts wiring me up.

"This is going to be a little cold" She informs me before swiping the cold gel onto a small area of my stomach, both of them being ever so careful of the wound.

The scanner moves across my skin and I do feel the pain but I can tolerate it.

I have to tolerate it.

I want to see my baby and so do Christian and Teddy.

The doctor moves it along, but nothing yet.

"I worry the little tyke might hiding away over the other side"

"I…Is…that…." I look at him worriedly. If the baby is near the wound could it have harmed it? Could it damage it?

What does that mean?

The machine beeps faster and faster as my heart rate increases.

"It's very small at the moment si it may be difficult to find but I promise there's nothing to worry about...our tests came back fine with the baby so I think it's just hiding away".

Christian takes my hand and Teddy looks to me with wide excited eyes.

I hope it's okay.

I don't know what I'd do if it's not.

"Oh…wait….wait….look…there it is"

I look up and he points to the smallest of little blips on the screen.

Our little blip.

It's there. It's right there and I can see it moving.

"Wheres?!" teddy asks looking at the screen.

"Right there little one" Doctor Bartlett smiles at him as he points to the little figure.

"Dats my bwother or sissy? Theys so smalls!"

We all laugh at his little statement.

"Yeah buddy, you were that size once too" Christian ruffles his hair smiling brightly.

"I was?" He looks at Christian and he nods with a reply.

"Yeah…." Christian smiles kissing the top of Teddy's head as he smiles brightly at the screen towards his new little sibling.

"Whens they be hewes?"

"A...while yet...sweetheart, but it'll go by so quickly" I smile down at Teddy who grins at me and curls back into my side.

I kiss his little forehead.

"I wuvs you, Mommy, wuvs you, Daddy, wuvs you baby" He whispers softly.

And when I look down at him, his eyes are still on the screen and his lips are curled into the brightest of smiles.

"We...love you...too sweetheart"

I look up towards Christian and his eyes are also bright. I can see the pride and excitement radiating from him as he gazes at our little miracle.

I can see the love emitting from his eyes as his gaze moves from the screen and down towards Teddy and me.

"I love you...so much" Christian leans towards me and kisses me softly.

"I love you too"

How did I ever get so lucky with them?

I never imagined my life to be this way. Ever.

I can't even explain how grateful and happy I feel despite the goings-on around us.

I wish I wasn't in the hospital, I wish this hadn't happened but it did.

And when everything is sorted and done we can finally move on with our lives.

We can look forward to the future, look forward to our ever-growing family, look forward to meeting our little miracle.

I look up at Christian as he takes my hand in his and I feel the familiar butterflies I get every time he gazes at me with such love and adoration.

My fiance, my future, my life.

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Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews guys! And an even bigger thank you for your patience as I move countries.

A lot of you have messaged and have been interested in where I'm going, so I thought I'd give you the low down….I've moved from the UK to Canada :)


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61…

"Something is wrong.."

"What do you mean something is wrong?!"

"The baby…the heart rate has deteriorated rapidly, we need to go directly in for surgery immediately"

"Christian…" Ana looks up at me with her anxious eyes.

Her pupils are full with fear.

"It's going to be okay…Do you hear me? It's going to be okay?" I hold her hand quickly as they wheel her down to the emergency room.

"Mr. Grey, we need you to change into some scrubs" The nurse hands me a pile of green fabric.

I respond but I look to Ana and the tears are flowing down her cheeks. The concern and despair rushing through both of our bodies like a roaring fire igniting every nerve cell.

I take her hand, and I raise it to my lips.

"I'll be right back okay?"

She simply nods and it breaks my heart seeing the worry in her eyes.

I head into the bathroom disrobing as quickly as possible before heading back into the room.

"Christian….what's…what's happening?"

"It's okay baby, it's going to be okay"

I lean down kissing her head.

Is it going to be okay though?

How can I say that?

The heartbeat has sunk.

Our baby is fighting for its life.

How am I supposed to stay strong?

I have to stay strong for Ana, her body is going through this, I'm just here as support.

But as I watch her body being cut open I can't help but allow my eyes to tear up with worry and dread.

I keep her hand in mine trying to soothe her but I'm barely keeping it together myself.

I can feel my own heart rate growing, pounding, thumping so quickly I fear it may come shattering through my chest. Dr. Bartlett, using his hands against my wife.

That's right, she's my wife now.

My Mrs. Grey.

We got married before the baby was born, it was a simple affair, just family and a few friends. We just wanted to make it official.

We wanted to be husband and wife for Teddy and our little miracle.

My wife, my family.

But now…now I'm terrified that our little miracle won't make it.

"Okay Ana, we're about to remove the baby okay?"

At Ana's request, Dr. Bartlett has a running commentary of everything he's doing.

Although she can't feel what's happening to her body, she wanted to know exactly what was happening to her and the baby.

She wanted a natural birth, we had planned a natural birth.

But this….Then this happened.

Ana looks up at me, I lift her hand to my lips while my other strokes through her hair.

"I love you….so so much, Mrs. Grey"

"I love you, my husband" She whispers sadly back at me as her eyes close allowing more tears to run down her cheeks.

There's a curtain, between Ana's view and her body which I peek over the top of.

I want to watch our little miracle be born.

I want to see our baby, I just feel guilty that Ana can't.

Dr. Bartlett removes the tiny little body from Ana.

Seeing Ana's body this way makes my whole body cringe in fear. It's not the best sight, but the way her body is reacting to everything that is happening to her, her body is taking it incredibly.

When I see the little baby emerge from her stomach I feel a sense of pride, a sense of excitement, a sense of exhilaration.

I have a strange feeling rush around inside of me, I felt this way with Teddy too but that feels so long ago now I forgot what it felt like.

It's like a thousand butterflies are fluttering around my stomach right now.

But then, then…

The dread came, the heartbreak came, the deepest pit of sadness takes over my entire being when there's no cry and the body is limp and grey.

"What's happening?" Ana looks up at me sensing the fear and heartbreak in my facial expression.

How can I tell her?

How do I tell her?

I look at her and then back down towards the baby. Gazing over its petite and tiny frame.

It's tiny little legs, it's perfect little face and head.

Its eyes closed, it's limbs limp and lifeless.

A bullet wound?

The baby has a bullet wound right through its tummy. One that resembled Ana's so much.

How?

What?

Why?

Elena! I'll fucking kill her!

"Christian?"

"No!"

"Christian?"

"No!"

"Christian!"

"No! No! No!"

"Christian!"

"Please Christian! Wake up….it's me…it's okay..I'm here…I'm here…"

"No…not our baby!"

"Christian!"

I startle awake as I feel her delicate and soft hand against my cheek.

My body shimmering with sweat, my breathing accelerated.

I sit up quickly running my hand through my hair.

Fuck.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

Fuck.

I feel her arms move around my shoulders from behind, she's kissing along my shoulder blades as she kneels behind me.

"It's okay….it's okay…I'm here….I'm here…." She whispers softly against my ear, "It was just a dream, just a dream".

I gaze around our bedroom, nothing has changed. It really was just a dream.

We aren't married yet, the baby isn't here yet and it's still alive…

Thank Fuck.

Feeling her gentle caress starts to calm my body, but the worry still races through my veins for the future.

When I'm finally back to my senses, I carefully turn to face her and her eyes are glistening with tears from the moonlight reflecting through our window.

When I'm finally back to reality I realize it's been two weeks since I brought her home.

Finally, I was able to bring Ana home.

Back to our bed, back to our home.

She's been on strict bed rest and she has been getting so much better.

Her body is recovering.

She can finally move, her breathing and talking have gotten so much better.

But my nightmares seem to be getting worse.

Now, instead of my past, they are about my future, our future…

I gently move my arms around her and I lay back down holding her against my chest. Her fingertips gently caressing against my skin.

Oh, Ana… I'm so scared. I'm so so scared of what is going to happen but how can I even tell her that?

I need to be strong.

The Doctor has assured us the baby is fine and has assured us Ana is fine…

But, still…I can't shake the worry away.

Elena was arrested, she requested to see me and I willingly declined.

Ana didn't want me anywhere near her and honestly? Neither did I.

She hasn't confessed, but every piece of evidence, thanks to Taylor, points directly towards her.

We have CCTV of her putting the gun into the safety deposit box for Jack.

At least that fucker was telling the truth!

And the only person that came by to collect the items that Jack willingly left there, was, Elena.

I can't believe she would do this.

Do this just to get me?

It's sick and twisted and everything I once thought has completely spiraled in the opposite direction.

I hate her, I loathe her.

I hope she gets what she deserves for almost ruining my family.

Now, it's thanks to her my nightmares have started again but for different reasons.

The anger I feel towards her now is something I thought I'd never feel for her.

But thanks to Ana, my family, the baby…I've finally recognized the light.

I will make her confess what she's done, I'll trick her into this.

She will pay, she will.

I now must protect my family and I will do so until my last breath.

"Are you okay?" Ana whispers softly pulling me from my thoughts. Her bright eyes gazing up at me from my bare chest.

I simply acknowledge and I hold her a little closer in my arms. Kissing the top of her head as she nuzzles further into my neck.

"It keeps happening…"

"The nightmares?"

I simply nod.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Do I?

She leans up a little, on her elbow looking down at me.

Her delicate and smooth hand gently caressing my cheek now.

I love her, with everything I have I love her so so much.

"It's always the baby…and you…and Teddy. One of you is always hurt and it's always my fault"

"Christian…. none of this is your fault….the nightmares are just dreams, nothing is going to happen to us. Elena is gone…."

"But what if she's released?"

"She won't be, Taylor will make sure of that. We will make sure of that"

She leans down and gently presses her lips against my own.

It feels wonderful, it feels perfect, it feels filled with love and that is exactly what I need right now.

"I love you" I whisper.

"And I love you, we all do"

She takes my hand and presses it against her stomach where our little blip is still active, is still alive and is still growing.

Our baby.

Despite my dreams, we and the baby are real and that's all I need to know.

"I want to marry you…I want you to be mine as soon as possible"

"I already am yours" She whispers smiling, her bright loving eyes gazing into mine.

Yes, she is, she is mine.

But now, I want to make it official.

"Will you marry me before the baby is born?"

I gently stroke my thumb across her skin hoping the baby can feel my presence too.

I love that she's carrying my child.

I watch as her bright, plump lips curl into the brightest of smiles.

"I'll marry you tomorrow if we could" She whispers.

"That can be arranged" I grin teasingly.

As much as I would love to make her mine right fucking now, I also want her to have the best day, the best wedding surrounded by people who love her.

I can wait a little while longer, I suppose.

Hearing her giggle at my reply has my lips smiling again.

Hearing her laugh and watching her smile is everything to me after what happened.

I hold her, I simply hold her.

My one hand running through her hair while the other strokes the skin on her stomach.

It was all just a dream.

Thank fuck, but I am in fear it could become a reality.

I'll do everything in my power to protect them, all of them.

Nothing will ever happen again.

I gaze out the window watching the sunrise when I hear the little patter of feet come running down the corridor.

Our bedroom door slowly opening and our excited little boy coming pouncing over to our bedside.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Ana giggles against my chest making me smile even more and I carefully reach down lifting Teddy onto the bed with us.

"There's our handsome little guy, did you sleep okay?"

Ana asks as he shuffles down in between us and both of our arms move around him.

"Goods" He smiles cuddling between us. "Does I haves to go school todays? Cans I stay wiv Mommy?"

"Sorry buddy, but I have to take you to school" I kiss his head receiving a pout in return because he can't stay home with Ana.

He loves her so much, I really can't believe how lucky we are.

"Pwease?"

"Mommy will be here when you get home sweetheart, I promise okay?"

He simply nods and turns further into her making me chuckle.

"Cans we makes dinner together Mommy?"

"Mommy has to rest Buddy"

Ana smiles up at me and places a soothing kiss on my shoulder.

"How about, when I'm better we can make the biggest cake ever! together?"

"Weally?" His eyes light up at her offer and he nods willingly.

"Really" Ana smiles kissing the top of Teddy's head.

Not long later, I climb out of bed getting Teddy and I ready for the day.

I went back to work last week with my own displeasure, but Ana convinced me that I needed to go back and take care of my company. I hated leaving her though.

I've been so grateful for everyone helping out too, Mia, Kate, my Mom, Dad, Ray, and Carla have all come and gone over the last few days to help out so I was able to go back to work. Checking in on Ana now and again.

The support I can finally see for the first time is incredible and it's something I never ever want to lose.

"Do you think Sawyer could drive me to the hospital today?" Ana looks at me from the bed as I'm tying my cufflinks in the mirror. Teddy playing with cars downstairs waiting for us to head to work and school.

"Hospital? Why?" I look at her reflection in the mirror curiously.

But then I remember.

Fuck.

It's her Mom's first appointment.

"It's…" She begins but I give her a small smile realizing what she meant.

"Do you want me to come with you? I can finish early"

"Would you?" She asks thankfully.

"Of course, I'll be there. I'll pick you up at 2? the appointment is at 2.30 right?"

She nods smiling appreciatively.

"Call your Mom and Dad and ask them if they want a ride too okay?"

"Thank You" She leans up ever so slightly pursing her lips.

I chuckle leaning down willingly reciprocating the kiss.

"I love you"

"I love you too".

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	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62…

I'm finally feeling so much better, so much more myself.

Being able to move again, being able to speak without losing my breath again is the most pleasing feeling.

Things are looking up, my Mom's first treatment went well and I was so glad to have Christian by my side with his hand in mine comforting and soothing while myself, Dad and Christian waited with her.

Christian's nightmares have also started to fade again, holding him during the night is everything he's needed and now that I can do it without the pain, he's feeling more at ease and the nightmares barely come.

My only issue is the fact Mrs. Robinson keeps requesting Christian to visit her.

Over my dead body.

My stomach churns at the thought of Christian or Teddy being anywhere near that venomous bitch.

But I have a plan.

Today, I'll make that plan happen and settle this for good.

She hasn't confessed, but she's still being held.

All evidence points towards her 100% and not even her husband offered to bail her out of Jail which shows a lot.

So, I'm taking the leap of faith and doing what I think is right for all of us.

I need to protect my boys and I need to defend myself from future worry too.

"Hey, what are you doing up? You okay?"

I hear his sleepy voice behind me as I'm facing towards the sink preparing breakfast for the two most important people in my life.

I love spoiling them and now I'm feeling healthier, I can continue to do so.

Repay the favor for the way he's taken such great care of me while I've been recovering.

"I'm making you breakfast before you go to work" I smile replying as I gaze at him over my shoulder.

I feel his body move up behind me and press against my back as he dips his head down into the crook of my neck and nuzzles against my skin. Smoothing a kiss against my shoulder, his lips sending a shiver through my body.

That's the other thing….we haven't been intimate since the accident either and I think we're both feeling it.

He refuses to touch me until I'm 100% better so my goal is to get there as soon as possible.

"How are you feeling today?" He whispers as his hands gently rest at my waist and I bite my lip smiling.

"Much…Much…better…" I shift in his arms gazing up at him with my fluttering eyes.

He smirks, "I know what you're doing…no"

I roll my eyes letting out a little giggle as my arms smoothly move around his waist in an embrace.

"Did you sleep okay last night?" I ask.

"I did…" He presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"What time are you working today? I thought maybe we could go out for dinner tonight?"

"That sounds perfect" He tilts his head lower and seizes my lips softly.

Smiling against his kiss as my hands raise under his shirt to rest against his bare skin.

"Uhh…Uh…" He grasps my hands smirking and returns them to the fabric. "Nice try".

He pecks my lips again.

Smirking and rolling my eyes I turn back to the breakfast making.

"Do you have any plans today?" He asks as he rests at the island sipping from the coffee I already placed in front of him.

I'm not telling him.

He'll forbid it and it's something I need to do so instead I simply shake my head.

"Nothing too exciting"

He chuckles and kisses my forehead before I turn back to continue breakfast.

"So what's for breakfast my wonderful future wife?"

"Bacon, eggs, pancakes…." I grin knowing it's hos favorite.

"Hmm… how did I ever get so lucky?" He nuzzles back into the crook of my neck.

"I think the same every single day" I reach my hand back and I gently run my fingers across his cheekbone as he continues to nuzzle into my neck.

"I love you"

"I love you more" I whisper, allowing my lips to curl up further.

The next thing I know, I feel small little arms wrap around my legs and I giggle when I hear Teddy's adorable little squeal.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

"Morning Buddy!" Christian chuckles and hoists him up into his arms, Teddy cuddles into him smiling radiantly before reaching out towards me and finally, I'm so grateful I'm able to hold him properly again.

I bring him into my arms and I hug him close, so close.

His little arms go around my neck and I kiss all over his face hearing his giggles.

"How did you sleep, sweetheart?"

"Goods! Hows Mommy and baby sweeps?"

"We slept good too" I laugh softly as I run my hand through his hair.

"And Daddy too?" He looks to Christian and when he does I notice how much they resemble each other.

The same nose, the same eyes, the same hair.

Both of them, so handsome, so adorable…and mine. My family.

I can feel my lips rolling into the brightest of smiles filled with happiness and affection.

I really do wonder how on earth I ever got so lucky.

"Daddy slept good too, thanks Buddy" Christian swings Teddy into the air making him laugh.

I also adore how much Teddy cares about the baby too.

I still cannot believe I'm pregnant.

I still cannot believe we are pregnant.

I find my hands going on their own accord to where the baby is growing inside of me and when I look up I see the look of affection, hope and adoration plastering Christian's face as he gazes at me.

"Shall I invite everyone for dinner tonight or just us?" Christian's arm moves around my waist as he presses a kiss to the side of my head.

"Evwyone!" Teddy squeals excitedly giggling with his big, wide and excitable grin.

As I giggle, I caress his little cheek with my finger.

I can't believe this is the shy, timid little guy that I first met at the kindergarten.

He's a completely different little guy now and I'm so overwhelmed and proud to be a part of that.

"Everyone sounds perfect sweetheart" I look up to Christian, "I think it'll be nice…we haven't been out in so long."

"That's because you've needed your rest Mrs. Grey".

"Mmm…indeed" I incline up on tippy-toes pecking Christian's lips making Teddy laugh again.

I plate up breakfast and within the hour my two men are out the door heading to work and school.

Luckily for me, I'm back at work next week and Mr. Roach was so kind and willing to allow me back to work after everything that happened. I had worried they wouldn't take me back and that I'd be replaced, but in Mr. Roach's words I'm 'an asset to the company'.

And honestly? I really cannot wait to head back to work and for everything to just go back to normal and live our lives the way it should be.

But, for today?

I'm sorting out this mess.

Once Christian was out of the door I head into our bedroom getting dressed and making my way back into the living room.

"Sawyer? Can you give me a ride to the prison please?"

"Prison Miss Steele?"

"Yes… please"

"I'll just let Mr. Grey know, I've had strict orders to make sure he knows your whereabouts"

Oh gosh.

No.

How can I get around this?

Biting my lip.

"Please…can we just….he doesn't have to know"

"Miss Steele…."

"Please Sawyer…I have to do this"

He sighs looking at my pleading eyes.

"Miss Steele...I have to"

"I am begging you, just this once? Nothing is going to happen…"

He rolls his eyes and with a lot more persuasion he gives in and I make my way towards the place where the bitch troll that started all this trauma and drama for my family and today, today I am putting an end to it.

I've been sick and tired of seeing the requests popping into our mailbox.

Watching Christian's reaction when he opens them knowing exactly what it was every time.

Watching him immediately throw it into the trash.

Unless I do something, the requests will never stop and she will never confess.

The visit request that came yesterday, I managed to fish out of the trash and make the booking.

Christin had no idea.

I feel awful, but I need to confront her. I need to know why she did this. I need to hear her say it all.

I made the appointment in Christian's name so she believes he's coming and I cannot wait to see her face when I walk into the room in his place.

As soon as we arrive outside I can feel my hands becoming clammy and shaky. I'm so nervous and honestly? Even a little bit scared.

This could go terribly wrong but I have to at least try. Seeing the way they smiled this morning, seeing the happiness fill Christian's face once again was everything I've hoped for so long.

He's spent weeks worrying, being angry, taking care of me…now…now it's my turn to save my family.

I walk down the hallway after giving them the visit request and they handed me a visitor lanyard.

An officer guides me further down the corridor, pressing a few buttons and we make our way further inside.

Oh goodness, I can see her.

She looks so….so different.

The usual pristine makeup nowhere to be seen, her usual designer attire completely replaced with an ugly dull grey sweatshirt and joggers. Her usual perfect hairdo a complete and utter mess.

I bite my lip hard and my hands move to my stomach.

"We can do this baby…we can do this for your Daddy and your big brother" I whisper, clearly just talking to myself.

I take the deepest breath and the officer opens the gate and I make my way inside.

Her head immediately snapping up.

Her eyes are bright and excited until…until she sees that's it me.

She was most definitely hoping for Christian.

Second prize you're getting. Bitch.

I give the fakest and gloomiest of smiles as I make my way to the seat opposite the glass wall.

I notice the way her head inclines as if she's searching for him behind me.

"He's not here"

"Why? Why are you here?"

She gives me the most threatening glare but luckily, there's nothing she can do to me in here.

"I'm here to free my family from your wicked claws, Elena…"

"Wicked claws…HA!" She laughs her wicked cackle and it turns my stomach.

I hate this woman. I hate this woman so so much.

"Why did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything" She smirks. She's lying.

"He'll never want you, you know that don't you?"

"He'll come crawling back to me when he realizes what a gold-digging little mousy thing you are"

"He won't, we're engaged…and…."

"Do you really think he'll commit to that? Are you that stupid and naive to believe that you and he will have a happy ever after? He needs more...Do you think you're the first girl he's thought could change him?"

"He has changed, he's changed for his son and for me…"

"He has needs you pathetic little thing, and you will never ever be able to give him that. I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger"

And there it is...

It was her.

"So it was you" I've got her.

"I never said that…"

"Oh really?" I pull the recording box from my pocket, rewinding back a few seconds and pressing play.

I glare her down.

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

_'I was doing him a favor when I pulled the trigger'_

"You almost killed me and you almost killed our baby, I will never forgive you for this and neither will Christian. You deserve everything that's coming to you"

I stand from the seat and so does she, her hand slamming onto the table.

"How the fuck did I almost kill the little brat? I aimed for you and it was you I hit! You're such a pathetic little drama Queen willing to do anything to ruin Christian's life"

I scoff.

The bitch.

"How dare you call him that! Do you really think Christian would want some abusive manipulative bitch around his son? Besides, I wasn't talking about our son, …we're pregnant and I'm having his baby…." I walk back to the table and I glare her down. My anger rising. My chest heaving with fury. "Our son…He's not yours and he never will be, He's Leila's." She scoffs mocking my words but then realizes what I've said. "You're pregnant?"

"You're lucky our baby wasn't hurt because if it had, I would have killed you Elena and I mean it. Christian has a family now, he's not into your sick and twisted ways anymore. He loves me and I love him…his life is getting better whereas yours is ending behind bars. Goodbye Elena."

I turn and with that, I'm out the door turning the corner and the tears start to fall.

Rolling down my cheeks over and over and over again.

I did it, I stayed strong for my family.

I stayed string for Christian.

But now I'm away from here I can't help but break down a little.

I got her, I got the recording,

I'm just totally overwhelmed and emotional.

Once my body is calmer I make my way to the exit after handing the recording over to the officer who will take this further. I'll be seeing her in court and watching her go down for everything she's done. She deserves it. She deserves everything that's coming to her.

I'm walking towards the car when I notice Sawyer stood with my door open ready and waiting for me to enter.

Then I notice him on the phone and when I move closer he doesn't look happy.

Oh gosh…

"Miss Steele…Mr. Grey would like a word"

Oh….no…

My shaking hand takes the phone. I feel nervous and worried all of a sudden. He's going to be so mad I can already tell.

"Christian…," I say as I hold the phone to my ear and I clumb into the car.

"Where the fuck are you?! Why did you go to the prison?! Why didn't you tell me! Fuck Ana! I've been worried sick!"

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	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63…

What a day it's been.

Seeing Ana back in the kitchen with her radiant and beautiful smile.

Presenting my ideal breakfast and watching her move freely without injury, allowing my arms to move around her without watching her body wincing in pain.

It's been everything I've desired for, for such a long time.

Now with our baby developing inside of her, Teddy overly excited about everything possible, I finally feel like my life is complete.

The many holes in my heart that have been tearing me down for years and years have finally been rebuilt.

After a quick kiss goodbye to my future wife, I drive Teddy to school and then head straight to work to carry out my day.

Ros and I went through everything. It was most definitely needed. With Ana injured, I'll hold my hands up and say that I have most definitely taken a step back from the company to concentrate on Ana and Teddy. Despite her efforts of trying to convince me she'd be fine in the house on her own, I still only stuck to minimal hours.

Ros has been wonderful and today, i'll repay her for that. During our hours in the office we look through our finances, our employees, future business meetings, past business meetings and I was quite surprised to see that my earnings had increased again by 45%. I never ever had imagined being this successful, being this…Happy.

"I think we'll make a pay rise for all employees," I say to Ros as I point toward the screen.

"Yes sir…they'll love that"

"And…I'd like you to become second lead Ros"

I take her off guard and her eyes produce the most confused and shocked stare as she looks at me, making me chuckle.

Me chuckling at work? Imagine that.

"Wh-What sir?"

"You've been an amazing asset to the company Ros, you've been my assistant for too long, I want to give you this promotion. Second lead… When I'm not here, you're in charge. You know how I work, you know how I like things….You're the best fit. We have another baby coming soon and I need someone I can trust to look after my company while I'm not around as often"

"Wow…sir…I…"

"Please, call me Christian"

She beams, "Thank you Christian….this means so much"

I simply respond with a smile before making my route back into my office.

The rest of the day also goes by very very swiftly.

I've managed to set up a new building in Los Angeles and I've planned a trip for us all to go there for a vacation.

Now Ana is feeling healthier, I think she needs a break and she deserves it too.

Besides, Teddy has been barking about Disneyland for years and maybe now, it's finally time to take him.

It's 1.30 pm, and Ros and I are done for the day. It's been a very successful and productive one, to say the least.

But now, I'm thrilled to go home and surprise Ana with my early finish before we head to pick Teddy up and get ready for our family dinner tonight.

On my drive home, I notice a small florist off to the side of the street, so I pull up right outside.

A smile, plastered on my face today. It's a strange feeling I must admit. The smile hasn't left my face all day.

"Hello, sir what can I….Oh Mr. Grey…" Her eyes light up.

My business is growing and my face is everywhere. Even more so with the incident at my parent's house. It's been in the news, in newspapers, in magazines... and online. Everything is online lately.

"Afternoon…I'd like a bouquet of white roses, don't hold back…the cost doesn't matter"

"Of course sir, I'll get that done immediately. Where you like me to have them delivered to?"

"I'd like to take them now if that's possible, I'll pay the extra charges"

Her eyes widen in horror but it makes me internally laugh.

"Yes sir, of course, I'll be around 20 minutes?"

"Perfect" I grin and I walk around the store waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting. Gazing around at the other ideas.

Then, the most elegant bouquet emerges from the backroom, held skillfully in the florist's hands.

"Is this okay sir?"

"Wow…they…they're perfect, Truly perfect. Thankyou"

Reaching into my wallet, I pull out $200.

"Thanks" I smile at her, and her eyes grow.

"R-Really….sir…" She sounds completely taken back, completely shocked.

"Really…."

With that, I take the bouquet and I make my leave, heading to the car and driving home.

My heart skipping a beat, excited to see and spend time with my future wife.

We haven't had much time together lately and I thought it would be a perfect time and a nice gesture to spend some quality time together before we head to collect Teddy from school.

I draw into the garage.

That's weird….Sawyer's car isn't here.

I climb out, carefully bringing the bouquet with me before heading up the steps of our home.

Once inside I gaze around.

It's quiet.

Too quiet.

"Ana?" I call out. "Ana?!" I call out again but no answer.

Sawyer's car is gone and Ana isn't here.

I know she's feeling better but should she be out alone?

I mean, maybe she just went to her parents' right?

Maybe…

Now my mind is reeling with thoughts.

Why didn't she tell me she was going anywhere?

Unless, Unless maybe it's a surprise for me, or for Teddy.

But still, I wish she would have at least told me she was going out, I worry about her and I just want her to be safe. She's still recovering.

I put the bouquet down onto the island in the kitchen before pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing Ana's cell.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

RIng.

Ring.

No answer.

I turn it off and dial Sawyer's.

Ring.

Ring.

"Mr. Grey"

"Sawyer….are you with Ana?"

"Uhm…yes sir"

"Put her on, I need to speak with her"

"She isn't here right now sir, I'm sorry"

"What do you mean? Where is she?"

"She's inside sir"

"Inside? Inside where?"

I can feel my frustration and tension building.

They're hiding something, I can feel it penetrating in the pit of my stomach.

Where the fuck is she!

"Miss Steele requested I bring her to the prison sir"

"Prison? What the fuck? Why is she there Sawyer?"

I can feel my knuckles clenching around my phone, tighter and tighter and tighter.

My whole body igniting.

As if I didn't already know why she's at the fucking prison.

Of course, I know.

Fucking Elena.

Elena fucking Lincoln.

"She's just coming out of the building now sir"

My teeth gritting together in anger and rage.

Keep cool Christian.

Keep fucking calm.

But I can't keep peaceful, can I?

This is me we're talking about.

My fiance has gone behind my back! How could she?!

Did she think I wouldn't find out?

Why didn't she just fucking tell me!

My heart is pounding so quickly I feel it may just come ripping through my skin.

"Put her on," I say a little too harshly.

"Miss Steele…Mr. Grey would like a word"

"Christian…."

"Where the fuck are you?! Why did you go to the prison?! Why didn't you tell me! Fuck Ana! I've been worried sick!"

So much for keeping it cool and calm Christian, way to go!

"Christian…please…calm down let me explain"

"Calm down? Calm down? Ana are you fucking kidding me right now? You are meant to be resting! I came home to spend time with you, just the two of us only to find out you've gone visiting Elena! What the fuck!"

"Christian….let me explain, please? Calm down….I'll be home soon"

I simply hang up.

My blood is bubbling.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm so angry? Oh wait, maybe it's because she's gone visiting the person that tried to kill her and our baby, manipulated me, used me….and now…now….

I'm so fucking angry.

I put my phone onto the island right next door to where I left the roses.

Staring at them.

Staring.

Not realizing how much time was passing the door opens and Ana walks in.

Fuck she looks beautiful, remarkable….

She looks so much better, so much healthier.

She has a glow in her cheeks and that sparkle in her eyes again.

But I'm annoyed.

I'm really fucking furious.

She looks at me then to the roses at my side.

"Christian….I…."

"Don't"

"But…please…"

"Don't"

I walk towards the door pulling my jacket back in as I walk through the passageway.

"Christian…."

"I'm going to pick up Teddy"

I say as I open the door and I close it immediately behind me.

Fuck, I shouldn't have just left.

I should have let her at least explain.

But no, she should have messaged me.

She should have told me where the fuck she was going.

I worry about her, especially after everything she's been through.

What makes me even more fucking angry is that she's carrying our child, it's not just her anymore.

I couldn't bear…

I couldn't bear it if…

Fuck.

I climb into the car and I look up towards the house through the windscreen.

She's standing there, in the window gazing right back at me.

Her eyes anxious, wanting and willing me to come back.

But no, she should have told me where she was.

Fucking Elena! Who knows what she could have tried to do.

And we have a meal tonight, the family meal I booked a reservation for at Ana's favorite place.

One of the places we've become fond of.

Our place.

Fuck, I am such a dick. I shouldn't have kicked off that way but she's made me so….so…angry, so frustrated.

I feel like I'm not in control.

I drive to get Teddy.

His little face bright with a sparkle as he comes bounding out of the classroom. His hands filled with paintings and drawings.

"There's my boy" I swoop him into my arms and I hold him close.

"Daddy!"

"How was school buddy?"

"Goods! I drawed a picture for da baby!"

And when he holds it up, my heart melts and I can feel the anger rippling away.

A clear image of 4 people.

Teddy, Ana, the baby and me.

"That's amazing buddy, the baby will love it"

"Mommy loves it too?"

"Yeah she will"

My lips curl into a smile and I kiss the top of his head before putting him into his car seat and heading back home.

I was a dick.

I overreacted.

I didn't let her explain herself.

Fuck, I hope she forgives me.

The drive home seemed to take way longer than it normally does.

If I have to listen to baby shark one more time I fear my ears may just have to explode.

But finally.

Finally, we arrive and Teddy squeals with delight.

"Mommy!"

Ana comes out of the doorway with a small smile on her face and with Teddy out of his car seat and onto his feet, he immediately goes rushing towards her.

His paintings and drawing being waved towards Ana excitedly.

"There's my handsome boy" She smiles brightly as he runs into her arms.

My whole life is right there, right in front of me.

Fuck I was a dick. I shouldn't have stormed off that way.

Maybe I haven't changed.

Maybe…just maybe….

Maybe Elena was right, maybe I will never change.

What if….just what if…

No.

Stop it.

Scolding myself, my hands fisted at my sides.

No! Just stop it.

I need to stop the negative thoughts.

I have come so fucking far.

So far because of my entire life in front of me, Ana, Teddy and now our baby.

Fuck I was a dick.

She's here, she's safe, why was I so mad?

Why am I so mad?

Finally, her eyes meet mine as she stands from her knees.

Her bright smile that plastered her face as she embraced Teddy has now become more saddened because of my actions.

Teddy runs inside excitedly, Ana's gaze follows him in before looking back at me.

I look at her, my eyes are guilty as sin.

But I am angry.

I'm so frustrated.

I want to take her into my arms, hold her close to me.

Say I'm sorry and that everything is going to be all right but I can't.

I'm still too mad and I don't want to say or do anything I'll regret.

"We'll talk after dinner" I simply say before walking past her.

Fuck I'm a dick, I know I am.

My heart is pulsating with frustration, distress, annoyance.

I love her but she's so independent. She's so headstrong and self-sufficient.

I just wish she realized how much I worry about her.

Fuck do I worry.

"Christian…" She says as I walk past her.

I pretend like I didn't hear anything.

We'll talk later, I'll apologize, she'll explain what happened and we can carry on.

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	64. Chapter 64

****possible violence trigger warning*****

Chapter 64…

The way in which he just walked straight past me, I felt my heart sink so intensely into the pit of my stomach that it stung.

How could I have been so…so stupid?

I wanted to sort things and I wanted to make things right, I wanted to get to her.

I did it for him, I did it for all of us.

Now she's going down for a very long time I know, I just know Christian can finally sleep again.

He can breathe, he can be free, he can live his life without the worry of that manipulative bitch troll still roaming the streets.

But, now seeing his reaction, although I feel guilty...he shouldn't have done what he did either.

I should have just told him where I was and now I've just made things completely worse.

I gaze at the bouquet of flowers that had been waiting for my arrival home.

His generosity, his care, his love, his everything…

I am so so sorry Christian.

I gently stroke a petal of one of the flowers as I sigh sadly.

"He'll come around"

I jump slightly to the voice appearing from just behind me as she starts to clean the countertops.

I look at her with a petite pitiful smile.

"I messed up"

"It's what happens in relationships sweetheart. You'll both do things, but it's the getting through them that is the main focus. From what I know, you tried to do the right thing for your family, he'll realize that when you talk to him. He's stubborn and is acting out of term, but he should have known where you were too" She smiles at me with a small and sad, but hopeful smile. She understands us completely. Of course, she does. She works with us every day, she sees us together all of the time.

Situations like these need an outsider's point of view for us to see the reality.

I simply nod in agreement.

She is right.

She is so so right.

We'll get through this. We will.

I should have told him I was going to try and make things right and when he comes home I'll explain, I'll apologize and hopefully…just hopefully he'll understand and we can get through this.

I can't say I regret my decision, because finally, we have the confession we've needed for such a long time.

I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, but what I do regret is not telling him about it.

I sit there pondering my thoughts, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting for them to come home.

My hand absent-mindedly rested on my stomach.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Finally hearing the car pull up into the driveway, I make my way outside to greet them.

Teddy's bright smile has my own lips curling upwards.

Christian's gaze is sad, somewhat.

How could I have been so stupid?

He's protective and was bound to worry, overly worry, I should know him by now.

Teddy excitedly shows me his paintings and drawings from school before he rushes inside eagerly to get ready for dinner tonight.

It's been a while since we've done anything as a whole family and I think he's excited to have everyone around him again.

I'm excited too, I just hope Christian and I don't cause too much tension. Hopefully, we can talk before we leave.

I go to say something but then he takes a step beside me heading into the house.

"We'll talk after dinner," He says as he walks.

"Christian…"

He ignores me.

Now I'm getting mad.

Why is he being this way?

I'm fine.

I'm here.

Unharmed and with a confession from Elena.

What the hell is so bad?

He continues to walk and I can feel my heart racing a little quicker.

No.

I'm not doing this, I'm not doing it.

She affects him in ways in which I couldn't even imagine, but I am not her.

He can't treat me this way, right?

"Are you kidding me?" My lips betray me as they start to speak my mind.

He stops dead in his tracks and looks back towards me at a quick and sharp pace.

"What?" His eyes, his eyes are… they're not sad anymore.

They're shocked?

Darker?

Surprised?

Hmm….different.

"Are you kidding me? You expect us to go to dinner with our families with this….tension between us?"

He scoffs and shakes his head.

"If you weren't such a stubborn and selfish woman we wouldn't even have the tension okay!"

"Wow….selfish? You really think I'm selfish?"

I fold my arms.

I can feel my blood starting to boil.

Selfish?!

Everything I have done is for all of us!

For him!

How! How could he even think I'm selfish!

"Yes, Ana! Fuck sake! If you had just told me, told me where you were fucking going! Fuck, do you even realize how worried I was?"

"I should have told you, but even if I had, can you honestly say you'd have let me go?"

I glare now, my hands shaking slightly.

He's making me so….so….arghh!

I'm not the stubborn one! He is!

"We'll talk after dinner," He says sternly.

He can be as stern as he likes.

I'm not doing this, I'm not a prized possession, I'm his fiance.

I simply shake my head, scoffing as I walk past him.

"Enjoy dinner, tell everyone I'm not feeling well"

I continue up to the house.

"Are you fucking serious? You're not coming?"

"No" I reply bluntly walking through the house and I can hear and sense he's hot on my heels.

He's angry, but guess what? So am I now.

He can't control everything and he certainly can't control me.

I head upstairs towards our bedroom when he catches my hand to stop me in my tracks.

"Ana, stop"

"What Christian?"

I look at him and my eyes start to brim with emotional tears, feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Look, I'm sorry….can we just fucking talk about this after dinner?"

"And have everyone feel the awkwardness between us? Not a chance, I'm not coming"

"Yes, you are!"

Here it comes. My emotions, my tiredness, my stubbornness, my frustration pouring out into words.

"No! And you can't control me, Christian! You think you can control everything but you can't! You just can't! You want me as your wife Christian, how can we even accomplish that when you won't let me do anything! I'm your fiance, not your prized possession"

Suddenly his face drops.

As does my heart. I feel so bad saying that to him, but it's the truth…isn't it?

Am I being too harsh?

Suddenly, I'm feeling overwhelmed and I can feel the blood pumping through the entirety of my body.

Now I'm feeling guilty. I shouldn't have yelled.

He looks up at me and his hand quickly let's go of mine.

I can see the clogs turning in his mind.

He's thinking.

He's overthinking.

Great.

"A-Are you….are you saying you…you don't want to marry me?"

"What?"

What?

No…No…No…No…

How could he even think that!

I can feel the tears brimming again. My emotions getting the better of me.

"You don't want to, do you?"

I can see him breaking right in front of me.

His eyes, darkening with freight.

His hands fisting at his sides.

His emotions trying to take over but as always, he pushes them down and hides them away with his hardened exterior.

"Christian…of course I…."

"Don't…just…" He turns his back on me.

My heart starts to pound.

No…No…No…. this is not what I wanted. This is not what I planned. This is not what I had intended.

"Christian…please….just stop...Of course, I want to marry you, I lov..."

I hurry after him as he marches down the rest of the stairs and into the living room.

I'm cut off my own sentence with his own booming voice.

"Just go…you want to go? Then just go!"

"That's not what I want…Christian, I…."

"What Ana?! What is it the fuck you want?! What! Is that why you went to Elena huh? To try and get some tips to control me? Is that what you think you can do? Teaming up with her now, hmm? Well, you know what Ana! If you want to leave then you do that! Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe, so maybe…that's just what I'll do"

His fists connects with the wall so hard it goes through, leaving that harshest hole and the bloodiest of hands.

When he pulls out his knuckles from the hole in the wall, blood drips down his wrist, down his arm, his elbow, covering his shirt. His eyes are dark with hatred. He's triggered. He is so so triggered by her and I have no idea what I can do.

This is all my fault. I've messed everything up.

I've seen him angry, but this?

I feel sick.

I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

Not because of the blood but because of what he said.

Golddigging wannabe?

Does he want to run back to her?

Tears are streaming down my cheeks and I'm frozen in place.

"Mommy….Daddy…" A little voice comes from the top of the stairs.

When I turn my head, I see little Teddy cowering at the top of the stairs with his hands covering his ears.

Flashback of one of the first times I ever saw him, scared, timid, anxious little Theodore.

Oh my goodness….

Christian hears his voice too and when he finally turns, he must snap back into reality and suddenly his expression turns from anger and despair to sadness and guilt.

He's realized what's happened.

He's realized what he's done.

He's snapped back into reality, out of his fit of rage, his anger.

I make my way to the stairs before kneeling in front of Teddy, my tears still flowing and no matter how hard I try to stop I just can't.

"It's okay sweetheart…it's okay…." I gently rest my hand on his little knee and he immediately reaches for me.

"Teddy…Ana…"

I turn my head and I glare, "Don't", I say sharply.

And with my response, he's taken aback in surprise.

"Ana…."

"Enough Christian!"

I lift Teddy into my arms and he nuzzles into my shoulder before I feel his little head lift upwards and I already know he's looking at Christian, his inspiration, his role model, his Daddy. When I look to Christian, I can see the tears brimming in his own eyes realizing what he's done as he gazes towards his son in my arms.

"I love you, Buddy, I'm sorry," He says, his normal calming tone but with a slight shiver in his voice.

"Wuv you Daddy" Teddy whispers back to him and I see the little glimmer of hope in Christian's eyes when he hears the words replied.

We need to talk, we need to discuss what the hell just happened.

How do I even approach that?

It's like he had become a completely different person.

It wasn't Christian. He wasn't my Christian.

Elena will forever trigger him, everything she did, everything that happened when he was a child will haunt him forever.

He needs help, he does...and I just want to take him into my arms and hold him. Tell him everything is going to be alright, but right now?

Right now my own heart is breaking from his words and I can't bear to look at him at this moment in time.

How could he ever think that of me?

I know it wasn't him, I know it wasn't my Christian. But the words cut through me like burning iron ripping right through my heart.

I simply turn and I take Teddy upstairs out of the animosity and the sadness.

I love him, I love them both. I love Christian with everything I have, but tonight. Tonight was too much.

How am I meant to get over this?

Did he mean what he said?

Surely not.

I take Teddy into our room and I simply ascend into our bed with him.

He turns into my embrace and I hold him, I hold him close to me as my fingers tenderly brush through his hair.

"Mommy cwying?"

"Mommy's okay sweetheart, don't worry" I kiss the top of his little head and I embrace him a little tighter.

"Mommy not wuvs Daddy anymore?"

"Mommy loves Daddy very very much….and I love you very very much too" I smile sorrowfully down at him while his prominent bright eyes gaze up at me.

My thumb strokes over his cheekbone.

"Mommy not leaving?"

"I'll never leave you, sweetheart, not ever. I promise".

There is a small and gentle knock against the door.

"Ana….Ana let me in…please..I…"

He sighs in defeat when I don't answer, nor do I open the door.

He knows he's done wrong.

How could he?

After everything?

How could he just throw everything back in my face?

When I look down at Teddy, he's asleep in my arms and honestly? I'm grateful he is.

I look back towards the door.

Should I answer it?

Should I just leave it?

Out of everything he could have done, out of everything he could have said. The words replay over and over and over again in my mind.

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe, so maybe…that's just what I'll do'_

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe, so maybe…that's just what I'll do'_

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe, so maybe…that's just what I'll do'_

He knocks again.

"Ana…please….I'm sorry"

At his knock and voice, I feel Teddy stir in my arms.

He's not waking him up, I refuse to let that happen after what Teddy just witnessed.

I gaze towards the door, thinking.

She's such a trigger for him.

I know him, she makes him so…so…unlike him.

He's afraid, he's scared, he's intimidated, he's….that's it.

He's controlled.

He's controlled by her and I'm not so sure that'll ever change. Not after today. Will he ever not be triggered by her?

That's why his barrier came up. His worry for me, but also all of the worries she ever said to him.

I remember them all.

_'She'll never be enough for you' _

_'That mousy little thing'_

_'She'll never give you what I can' _

_'You'll want more, you'll always want more' _

_'You'll always come running back to me when you realize'_

Maybe she is right, maybe he will never let her go…. Unless I have something to do with it.

The fear of me getting hurt, the worry of me not telling him where I was, the worry of me even being in the same room as her, the worry of her corrupting me.

Then when he came home, the worry that I didn't want to be with him, the worry I'll leave, the anger, the rage, the destruction, the fighting.

Everything, it all stems from one place.

One person.

She triggered it.

She triggered it all.

The bitch troll.

I didn't help this situation what so ever. I know I didn't, I should have handled it better and Christian I am so so sorry. I'll tell you that when I have the courage to come out there and face you. I should have told him where I was. I should have told him I was out. I should have told him about my intentions. I should have told him that I wanted to get rid of her once and for all. For me, for Teddy, and especially for Christian.

But now….

She is gone.

She's gone for good and maybe now that she is behind bars because of what I did today, maybe he can finally be free of her vicious, venomous claws.

He can forget his worries.

He can stop being controlled by her.

He doesn't need her.

But for me….

The question is, Will I ever be enough?

Just when I thought everything was perfect, everything just spiraled into the deepest pit of darkness.

My touch of hope, Gone.

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	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65…

What have I done?

What the fuck have I done?

Running my hand through my hair in sheer fury and frustration with myself.

"Ana….Ana let me in…please..I…"

I knock at the door.

The fright in her face, the tears in her eyes.

And Teddy…

Fuck, he saw everything too.

_"Wuv you Daddy" _

_"Wuv you Daddy" _

_"Wuv you Daddy" _

_"Wuv you Daddy" _

_"Wuv you Daddy" _

His little voice pounding through my eardrums over and over and over again.

I fucked up.

I fucked up big time.

I relapsed back to the Christian I used to be. The Christian everyone scorned and loathed.

The Christian everybody attempted to fix but no one could.

No one but them.

No one but Ana and Teddy.

And now just look…look what I've fucking done.

I've fucked it all! How could I have been so stupid!

I didn't even give her a chance to explain herself I just lost it.

I didn't feel in control, I didn't feel deserving and the mention of Elena's name sent me spiraling into my old abyss of doom.

But fuck, how I've messed up.

I go to knock at the door again but I notice a red smear already covering the pined wood.

Fuck.

I glance down at my hand and there's blood trickling from my knuckles.

The wall….Fuck.

Oh, Ana, I'm so so sorry please forgive me.

I make my way back downstairs and I stare at the hole in the wall.

I just stare, stare at what my anger has done.

My heart hurts suddenly and now I feel terrified.

Terrified she's going to neglect me.

She wouldn't, would she?

Will she?

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK!

Running my hand through my hair before rushing into the kitchen to clean the blood off my hand.

Grimacing at the pain as the water rushes over the blood and I watch it stir down into the sink hole.

What have I done?

The blood won't stop.

Why won't it stop?

I pull hand from under the water and I see the deep gash in my hand.

I am such a dick.

I pull out my phone, dialing my Mom's number. I don't know what else to do.

I've fucked up and I need help.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Christian darling"

"Mom…." I sigh trying to keep it together.

"Christian? What's wrong?"

She can already hear the tremble in my voice.

"I've fucked up Mom….I've completely fucked up"

I sink down onto the ground, leaning back against the cupboard as I hold the phone against my ear.

"Oh my darling, what's happened?"

"I've ruined it, she's leaving me"

"Who's leaving? Oh, Christian, you don't mean Ana?"

"I fucked up…I lost it. She hates me, she wants to leave me, Mom…"

"Christian, she doesn't hate you….if there was no room in relationships for mistakes none of them would last. That girl loves you with everything she has".

"No Mom…you don't understand, I said some awful things…I think…I think my hand is broken, I don't know what to do…."

"Your hand? What happened? Oh…you didn't….oh my darling boy" She sighs sadly.

I catch a small noise come from the doorway and when I glance up Ana is stood there.

She's there, she's right in front of me.

Staring at me with saddened eyes.

"Mom I have to go….I'll call you later. Can we reschedule the dinner?"

"Of course darling, please call me later, I'm so worried about you. If you need me to come over you just let me know"

"Thanks, Mom"

I haven't needed my Mom. Not really, I've been so independent, but now she knows me better. She knows everything, everything that has ever happened I feel more trusting in her.

But now…now I feel like a disappointment.

I have completely and totally fucked up.

I put my phone back into my pocket before looking back up to where the one and only woman I ever want or need in my life from now on is standing, fiddling with the hem of her sweater nervously.

I can tell she's still upset. Her eyes are red, her hands are somewhat trembling.

Is she afraid of me?

I sit there in silence for a moment so she knows I'm no longer on the phone.

I wait for her reaction, I wait for her to look at me.

When she does, her eyes widen immediately at my hand and she rushes to me with worry.

What is she doing?

She takes my hand in hers and moves down onto her knees in front of me. Her eyes never once meet mine. But when I feel her hand against mine a shiver runs through my entire body. Her familiar warmth, love, and care.

She still worries, so that's a good sign, right?

I need to make this up to her.

I need to apologize and I hope she will forgive me.

Everything I said, everything I did, I didn't mean any of it.

She's nothing like Elena, never will be.

She doesn't want to control me, she just cares for me.

She investigates my wound, the worry on her face is clearly evident. But her eyes remain away from mine.

"Come with me…." She says quietly as she stands and carefully holding my hand in hers, she gestures for me to stand with her.

With her careful hands, she grabs a towel adding pressure to stop the bleeding and she begins to clean the wound.

I Love her.

I love her with everything I have.

She came down to speak with me, she must have?

Was it to tell me she's leaving? Or was it to come and talk things out.

Fuck, what if she is leaving? What if this is her goodbye?

No!

No, stop it! I scold myself.

Mom said Ana loves me, she said we can get through this.

We just need to talk.

I need to apologize and I need to fucking listen to her.

"Ana…," I say with the deepest of sorrows.

"Not now Christian, let's just get you cleaned up okay?"

Fuck, that hurt.

I felt the deepest spike rip through my heart.

Say calm Christian, stay calm.

I've fucked up and I need to respect her boundaries.

But I have to know, I have to know if she's leaving me.

I don't know what I'll do if she is.

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to keep on going without her?

I can't, I couldn't.

She's not a gold digger, she's the first woman who hasn't been.

She is everything to me, her and Teddy.

Oh Teddy, how would he be if she decided to leave?

After the way I've reacted I wouldn't blame her if she did leave.

Teddy…and, the baby.

Our baby.

Fuck she's pregnant.

What if she leaves with the baby?

She wouldn't do that. Not her. Not my Ana.

All of this stress, all of this can't be doing any good.

I fucked up so badly.

Please Ana, please don't leave me.

I simply watch her actions against my wound for what seems like a lifetime. She bandages me up and when she's done I miss the contact.

I want to feel her hand back in mine, I want to feel my skin against hers.

Fuck, Ana.

I can feel every single emotion possible rising like a volcano throughout my entire being.

"A-Are you leaving me…..?"

That's when it starts.

I see the tears streaming down her face and she turns further away from me in an attempt to hide from me.

"Ana….fuck Ana, I'm so so sorry. For everything. I didn't mean what I said"

She turns her back to me.

Should I hold her?

Should I comfort her?

I have no fucking clue what to do in these situations!

Fuck.

I hear her sniffle and I watch as her hand raises to wipe at her cheeks.

"Ana, please…I was a dick, I just… fuck I can't even explain what happened. Please don't leave me…I couldn't live without you. I love you".

I take a step closer and my arms move around her waist resting against where our baby growing inside of her.

Please Ana, please forgive me.

I nuzzle my face into her neck and I hold her body so close to me in fear it might be the last time.

"Christian…don't please…" She whispers but it wasn't at all convincing me to leave.

"I love you…please forgive me. Don't leave me" I beg.

"I'm n-not…l-leaving you" She sniffles and suddenly my heart swells with relief.

She's not leaving me.

"H-How…c-could you….how could you….s-say all those…"

"That wasn't me, Ana I promise you. I was a Dick and I don't know what came over me. I am so so sorry. I'll make it up to you"

Finally, she turns to look at me. Her eyes are a piercing fiery red from her tears and her sorrow.

I lift my hand and I cup her cheek gazing deeply into her eyes.

She looks so broken, so sad.

Everything I said to her.

Fuck I was a dick.

She made me mad, she made me angry. I was so worried about her, but what I did? it was so so wrong and unforgivable.

If she forgives me for the harsh and horrible things I said then I will make it up to her every day for the rest of my lifetime.

"You, Teddy and this baby mean everything to me, Ana. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. Something inside me snapped and I reverted back to who I was before I met you. That's not me anymore, you know me….you know the real me…"

"I'm sorry too…I should have told you where I was going. I knew you wouldn't let me go if I did…but I've got her Christian. I got her to confess. I just wished you let me explain everything. I'm hurt, you really hurt me….do you really think I'd do that to you?"

"Fuck Ana, of course, I don't! I was just…fuck…I'm fucked up. I fucked up and I'm sorry. But confess? What happened?"

I gaze into her eyes full of worry.

"I got her to confess…I did it for you, I did it for us….she said it all. She's going down" She sniffles and wipes her eyes again.

"Oh Ana….my brave, strong independent but stubborn Ana"

"Your nightmares, everything. I didn't want her affecting you anymore, any of us. I wanted us to be free and now we are"

Her eyes are filled with tears.

I can see the pain in her eyes. The pain that I caused.

"I'm sorry Ana…I really am sorry"

"I'm sorry too…"

"Can we get through this?" I ask hopefully.

Waiting. Waiting for her answer.

She lets go of my hand and looks up into my eyes with the saddest eyes.

"What is it that you want from me Christian? because I don't know anymore. Am I really just another girl that you hope can change you? I'm not like any of those girls Christian and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do right now. I love you, I love you with everything I have but I'm finding it really difficult when you turn on me like this…How many more times will we go through this in the future? Are we just wasting our time? I know you're insecure, but so am I! I've spent a long time putting Elena's words to the back of my mind but when this happens, I can't help but let the whispers of her words creep up to make me doubt if what we have is real"

_Are we just wasting our time?_

_Are we just wasting our time?_

_Are we just wasting our time?_

_Are we just wasting our time?_

Are we?

Will I ever be what she deserves?

Will I ever stop being so insecure?

"I love you, You're nothing like any of those women, none of them and I know that. That's why I love you, everything I said I didn't mean a single word of it…I was just…Insecure, angry, worried…I felt like a volcano of emotions and I erupted and aimed it all at you, I'm so so sorry. It's real Ana, it's so real it scares me... don't ever doubt my love for you, please"

She looks up at me with her watering bright eyes.

I can tell she just wants to break down, I can see the emotions and the thoughts spiraling through her head.

She's trying to stay strong but I don't want her to. I want her to cry, I want her to rush into my arms for comfort and accept my apology. I want to hold her and tell her, convince her we can get through this.

Her blood pumping through her body, the worry, the stress, everything I have put her through.

I fucked up, I was a dick, I hurt her.

I wouldn't blame her if she turns her back on me.

But deep down I know she won't.

Deep down we know we're meant to be together.

Deep down, we won't ever leave each other.

"I'll get help…I'll go back to counseling, We can go together…. I need us to…I want us to work through this"

I can see the love in her eyes as she gazes at me.

Fuck it.

I lean forward, taking her cheeks between my hands and I press my lips against hers.

Please don't pull away.

Please don't pull away.

She deserves better, so much better. But I can't let her go.

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	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 66…

"What is it you want from me Christian? Am I really just another girl you hope can change you? I'm not like any of those girls Christian and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do right now. I love you, I love you with everything I have but I'm finding it really difficult when you turn on me like this…How many more times will we go through this in the future? Are we just wasting our time? I know you're insecure, but so am I"

My blood is pumping and my heart is racing with worry and panic.

I love him, I do love him but I can't keep doing this.

I can't keep second-guessing, worrying if I'm good enough, self-doubting that one day he will up and leave me for someone else.

But could he?

Would he?

I feel my hands instinctively moving to where our baby is growing inside of me.

I wouldn't leave, I can't leave.

My heart won't allow it and neither will my head.

That's all I know is we need to sort this out.

We need to be on the same level.

"I love you, You're nothing like any of those women, none of them and I know that. That's why I love you, everything I said I didn't mean a single word of it…I was just…Insecure, angry, worried…I felt like a volcano of emotions and erupted and aimed it all at you, I'm so so sorry"

I know he's sorry.

He's always sorry.

It would be easy for me to just move into his arms, tell him everything is going to be all right but I can't. Not this time, I can't keep going on like this.

I simply gaze at hin, scanning his face.

He's so so petrified I'm going to leave.

I can see the worry and horror in his eyes as he scans my face for some sort of answer.

"I'll get help…I'll go back to counseling, We can go together…. I need us to…I want us to work through this"

With his words, my shield starts to come down, crippling at my feet.

He's trying, he's trying his hardest.

I'll never leave him, never. I love him too much. Too much has happened and we have a bright future together I just know it.

His last words spiral through my brain.

He wants to make this work, he's trying for us to get through this.

The next thing he does spirals my body out of control and for a brief moment, I can't stop him.

I can't pull away.

He needs it.

I need it.

The contact.

I reciprocate the kiss until it gets a little too heated.

Feeling his hands against my skin, feeling his lips against mine.

It feels divine.

It feels….wow.

It's been a while since we… well, you know.

Way before the shooting. He has barely touched me since then, in fear I might break or that he'll hurt me.

It's been way too long.

But…

But…

Makeup sex is not going to fix this right now.

I want him, gosh I've needed and wanted him for weeks since the shooting now!

My whole body feels ignited but I have to control myself.

I can't let our lust and desire take over us, not during such an intense and emotional moment.

"Ch…Christian….S…stop…"

I pull back and I rest my hands against his chest to stop his actions.

I know he's trying to help the situation and I know this is his way of showing his love.

He doesn't know how to act or react when serious things like this happen.

She did that to him, she fucked him up in so many ways.

I regret nothing, I do not regret going to see that bitch troll and I don't regret going behind Christian's back to do so.

She can officially be out of our lives forever and I'm glad.

I am so so glad that everything she has ever done to my Christian can be put to rest.

With help, Christian can get through this, we all can I just know it.

"Not right now, it's not the right time or moment"

His hands move to rest at my waist and his lips press against my forehead as he whispers.

"I'm sorry…."

"I know…." I simply sigh in reply as we stand there for a little while simply thinking and being close but not too close.

"We can get through this, can't we?" He asks with great uncertainty.

I lift my gaze and I stare deep into the dark, abyss of his eyes filled with worry and freight.

Seeing him so broken, so fragile.

Seeing what she's done to him breaks my heart.

With a small simple nod, I answer his question.

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you" He replies and places a small kiss to my forehead.

"Mommy….Daddy" Teddy's little voice comes out as a small little whisper.

His fists rubbing his tiny eyes after his well-needed nap.

He looks up at the both of us.

But Christian...when I look towards him he looks a little….worried.

Teddy saw everything, the shouting, the sadness, the hole in the wall...everything….but regardless of that.

Christian is his Daddy and no matter what, Teddy loves him with everything he has.

I worry about the trauma Teddy has witnessed throughout his lifetime too, but all of us can get through this.

I look up at Christian who still seems a little nervous.

Guilt plastering his face.

Worry scarring his features.

I look towards his now bandaged hand and he seems to be shaking a little bit.

He kneels to Teddy's height.

"Hey…buddy…I…" and before he can even continue his sentence Teddy is in Christian's arms.

A smile on Teddy's face as he nuzzles into his Daddy's neck and little arms moving so tightly around in the most comforting embrace I think Christian needed.

I lean against the door frame watching them together.

My heart melting into a puddle.

Seeing them together, seeing how forgiving and innocent Teddy is to all of this.

If only adults had the same characteristics, if only it was as easy as being a five-year-old again.

If only forgiving and forgetting was that easy.

As Teddy embraces Christian, Christian's eyes close in relief and happiness.

His boy in his arms, the only thing he'll ever need is the acceptance from Teddy.

When Christian's eyes open, his gaze moves straight towards me and I feel a trickle down my cheek.

I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt it cascade down my face.

"I'll start dinner for us….."

"Is we not goings out fors dinner?" Teddy looks up towards me, then towards his Daddy.

"Not tonight buddy, me you and Mommy will have a family night here okay? Spend some time just the 3 of us"

"Four of us Daddy!"

Four?

Teddy's smile grows and looks towards me then points towards my tummy.

"Baby" He giggles and his smile grows even wider.

I even hear a small sad chuckle escape Christian's lips too.

"A family night with the four of us"

Christian locks gaze with me and both of us just seem to smile.

Regardless of everything that happened today, regardless of the harshness of their pasts. Regardless of his actions…..we do have a bright future.

Teddy bringing the light to the situation once again. He's great at that, he's great at making us smile, laugh and forget everything that is going wrong.

We will watch Teddy grow up, we'll have this baby and we will raise them together as a team, a family.

"Yayyy" Teddy smiles, "Cans I hewps dinner Mommy?"

I can see the look in Christian's eyes that clearly shows he doesn't want to let him out of his arms just as yet.

He needs the comfort, he needs the support, he needs to know he's loved.

"I think Daddy would love you to stay with him and give him lots of cuddles okay? And I'll make your favorite dinner how does that sound?"

"Sghetti?!" His eyes brighten excitedly and I giggle with a small nod. "Yayyyyyy"

He squeals smiling brightly and his little arms move back around Christian's neck as he nuzzles into his shoulder.

"Thank You" Christian mouths more than says and I can see the appreciation in his face.

I simply nod and I turn into the kitchen to begin the dinner preparations.

I stand in the kitchen and before starting to cook I simply gaze out of the large window in front of me.

I gaze out towards the view.

The lake, the mountains, the grass, the trees, the boat, our cars.

Everything in the view from our kitchen.

Our beautifully styled and our beautifully executed home.

I stand there and every few seconds I turn to face a new area.

Everything I have ever wanted is right here in front of me.

A house, a career, a car, a family.

I've ended up being the luckiest girl in the world and I have no idea how it even happened.

I gaze down to where little Teddy pointed to earlier.

To where the fourth member of my family is growing inside of me.

Can we get through this?

The doubts are spiraling through my mind like the world's largest rollercoaster.

He's apologized, he's willing to get help…but….how many more time is this going to happen?

Will we ever get the happiness we both need and deserve or will we be forever plagued by the past?

Will it always come back to haunt us?

Will Elena, Leila, Jack….will they ever not be a part of our thoughts, lives, future?

The problem is I will never leave, not ever. I don't want to, I always want them. I've wanted Christian for so so long and fell head over heels in love with him. I love and accepted Teddy as my own.

I love them both too much to ever leave. Everything I have ever wnated is right here, everything I love is right here in front of me. But...will there be a happy ending?

I sigh deeply and pull myself from the negative thoughts before starting on the pasta dish that Teddy loves ever so dearly.

Meatballs, spaghetti and garlic toast.

He absolutely loves his garlic toast.

I can hear them giggling, laughing, squealing.

I hear my name mentioned a few times and then I hear some more giggling.

What are they talking about?

It makes me smile, in the midst of the negativity right now it still makes me smile.

I'm just scared, scared that things won't ever change.

It wasn't his actions that made me worry, it was his words. The words that cut through me like a knife.

Pierced into my heart.

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe'_

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe'_

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe'_

_'Elena always said I'd end up running back to her because of a gold-digging wannabe'_

Stop it, Ana, he didn't mean it.

He didn't.

I know it.

Snap out of it.

Snap out of it.

I chant to myself.

We do need to talk, we need to figure all of this out.

Maybe when Teddy passes out later we can have a deep and meaningful conversation.

The pasta starts to boil and comes to a nice smooth and soft texture, the garlic toast is lightly toasted just the way Teddy likes it and the meatballs smell divine.

I make my way into the living room to summon my two men to the dining room ready for dinner.

I enter through the doorway before stopping in my tracks.

The sight in front of me is everything I didn't know I needed right now.

Everything to make my heart and my head rest for just a little while.

Christian is laying on his back, comfortably along the sofa, his one arm behind his head and the other resting on Teddy's little back.

Teddy is sprawled out on top of him, laying on his chest and both of them are peacefully asleep, content with each other, the comfort they both needed from each other.

I simply lean in the doorway watching them sleep just for a moment.

And everything seems okay, everything seems normal.

My heart flutters with love and pure adoration.

They look so sweet.

So comfortable.

So content.

Did the last few hours even happen?

I make my way over to them and I gently stroke my hand through Christian's hair.

"Hey…."

"Mmm…." He mutters slightly.

"Dinner is ready" I whisper and my lips curl into a smile at his sleepy yet handsome state.

His eyes slowly open when my hand continues to run through his hair, he seems a little surprised to feel me continuing my actions through his soft hair.

His sleepy eyes simply gaze up towards me for a couple of seconds longer before his hand raises from underneath his head to rest against my cheek.

To my own surprise, I lean into his touch.

"I love you…you know that don't you?" He whispers.

I simply nod in reply.

I do know he does. I do.

We just need a touch of hope.

"I Love you too" I whisper back before we wake Teddy for dinner.

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	67. Chapter 67

Chapter 67…

"It's okay Christian…it's normal to feel this way"

She says as my hands are clenching at my sides with worry and frustration.

I'm pacing backwards and forward and pretty much scowling at the door in front of me.

"Christian…Christian darling"

I look at my Mom.

The sadness in her eyes shows she's reading my emotions. She can see the worry in my eyes. The terror of what I'm about to do.

I wish Ana was here with me but she's not.

I wish she was.

She'd take my hand and she would calm me immediately.

She'd kiss my cheek allowing my frustration and worry to slip through my entire being and replace it with positive and inspiring vibes.

I'd kiss her lips softly allowing the both of us to feel calm, at ease and happy.

But she's not here is she.

She's not.

I wish she was.

"Christian come and sit down"

I sigh, running a frustrated hand through my hair as I move to sit beside my Mom.

"It's going to be okay, they're just going to ask you questions, you answer them…talk to them. Let everything out okay? You need to do this"

She's right, of course, she's right.

But that doesn't stop the bile from creeping up into my throat. The feeling of wanting to vomit even though I haven't eaten or drank anything this morning because of the horrible, worry in the pit of my stomach. The grinding, vile churning feeling I have thats bubbling inside of me.

My phone starts to ring causing me to jump.

Why the fuck am I so on edge?

I pull it from my pocket and see her name and suddenly I feel a wave of relief.

She is still my light in the darkness.

My fingers can't press the green button quick enough.

"Ana…"

"Hey…" Her voice sounds chirpy, happy, content.

Just remember Christian, everything you're doing it's for her, it's for your family, for your future, for your happiness, for you.

I repeat the sentence over and over.

It's fucking crazy the effect she has on me.

In a split second, she's turned my worrying beating heart into one that's not so rapid anymore.

"How are you? How's your day?"

I can feel my Mom's eyes on me and when I look up I'm right.

She has a knowing smirk on her face.

I was adamant she wouldn't call before my appointment but my Mom was right. Of course, she was.

She always is.

"It's great…Mr. Roach has been amazing, I'm so happy to be back. How is everything going? I'm so sorry I couldn't be there."

"I…I'm nervous as fuck. I don't want to talk to some stranger about my life"

She sighs, "I know, but I'm so proud of you Christian."

That brings the small smile to my face.

Just hearing her voice, listening to her words.

She is proud of me?

How the fuck did I get so lucky to have someone like her in my life.

Two weeks have passed since I hurt her with my words.

Two weeks have passed since my fist went through the wall.

Two weeks have passed since I felt the worst I ever have in my entire lifetime.

Two weeks of trying to prove my love and my commitment.

She's been my rock, my life. She holds my entire heart and everything that goes with it.

Two weeks ago I nearly fucked everything up and almost lost everything.

But she stuck by me.

She's still at my side, she still loves me.

She supports me every single fucking day, goodness knows I don't deserve it after everything I put her through but she's here and I love her with everything I have.

I'm so proud of you Christian

I'm so proud of you Christian

I'm so proud of you Christian

I'm so proud of you Christian

The words ring through my ears as if they were a beautiful song.

I remember now why I'm doing this, I remember now why I'm sat here.

This is for my family and my happiness and I refuse to let anything or anyone jeopardize it.

I refuse to let my nerves and anger get in the way of doing the right thing.

"Are you still there?" Her voice calls me from my thoughts.

"Yeah..I'm here…how is your first day back at the office?"

"It's been great, it's like I never left…I'm so glad to be back. I just feel guilty I'm working the day of your first session, I'm so sorry".

"There's no need to be sorry, you'd have only been sat here in the waiting room anyway. I'm glad you're back at work, I know how much it means to you".

"I love you"

"I love you too"

I feel my heart melt at her words.

"Good luck okay? And don't be afraid, I believe in you. You can do this…"

"Mr. Grey" The door opens and dread suddenly fills my body.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Nope, I don't want to do this.

I can't do this.

I look up at the man stood in front of me.

The man that is going to judge every single fucking word I'll say.

He's going to think I am an absolute dick.

I can't do this.

I can't fucking do this.

"Ana I have to go, they're calling me in. I'm fucking petrified."

"Of course,…go…Don't be scared, I believe in you, you can do this…I'll see you for dinner and you can tell me all about it okay? I love you"

"I love you more"

My Mom nudges my elbow and I nod with my ever so fast-beating heart.

With that, I hang up and I stand to look at the man in front of me.

I am not ready to be judged for my life decisions.

I'm not ready to be judged for my actions.

But I know this is the only way I'm going to get better. This is what I need to do for Ana, for our Teddy, for our baby.

Ana is the woman I want. She's the one and only for me and I know it.

And I know I have to do this so I can finally have her at the alter so she can say 'I DO' to becoming my wife.

We both know we're meant to be together but I know I have a fuck ton of issues to get over before I want to make her officially mine.

I put my phone back into my pocket and I stand walking towards the man that has a welcoming smile on his face.

But still, I feel weird and awkward as fuck.

"I'm Dr. Flynn…please come right this way"

"Christian…Christian Grey" I outreach my hand to accept his.

There's no turning back now.

My Mom gives me one last small smile.

As much as I wish Ana was here at my side, I am so glad my Mom is the one next to me.

She's been a rock for me and I never appreciated it fully until now.

And I know Ana couldn't make it as it's her first day back full time at S.I.P.

I'm just glad and grateful Ana never gave up on me.

With the promise of seeing a specialist, a counselor, a psychiatrist to help me through my anger and insecurities. She's going to stick by me. She's going to marry me. She's going to give birth to our child and give Teddy a little brother or sister.

I might be nervous as fuck right now to talk so openly about my past and my lifetime, but I know for my future to be what I want it to be, I have to do this.

I walk into the room.

It's a bright room, cream velvet chairs, a coffee table in between.

Dr. Flynn standing there with a clipboard and a pen smiling at me.

Why the fuck is he smiling?

Calm Christian, Calm.

"Make yourself comfortable…would you like tea? Coffee? Water?"

Comfortable?

How the fuck can anyone be comfortable in this fucking psycho place.

Psycho place, HA!

Elena Lincoln put me in here.

Or did she?

Was it her?

Was it my birth Mom?

Was it the pimps?

Who did put me in here?

Who did cause my life to fuck up so badly I've ended up needing and getting this much help?

I guess that's what I'm here to find out right?

I simply nod towards him, my hands clenching as I feel them becoming clammy with nervousness.

"Coffee..please.."

My knee bouncing up and down slightly.

I'm so fucking nervous.

Why the hell am I so nervous?

Big shot businessman shaking with fear as he visits a psychiatrist. I can already see the tabloids.

I can't fucking do this.

I stand quickly and I walk to the door in such a rush. I feel my heart thumping so badly I fear it may come pounding through my ribs and crash onto the floor in front of me.

My breathing becoming more rapid.

"Christian…Christian…"

Dr. Flynn calls after me as my hand reaches the handle in panic.

I can't do this…I can't fucking do this.

My head is spinning. Spinning almost to the point where I could pass out.

My eyes becoming blurry.

My hands shaking, clenching and clammy.

I feel as if I'm about to pass out.

I feel the urge to run, escape, hide. It is no different than when I was a child fearing the belt, the slipper or whatever the pimp came to beat me with.

The panic grows stronger as my mental faculties give way to emotions. I want to jump right out of my skin and hide. I feel just like a child again, shaking, terrified. The constricted feelings grow as if I am strangled by just the air about me.

"Christian!" Dr. Flynn calls again.

I fling open the door. His voice piercing through my ears making me feel guilty for leaving, but I can't. I can't stay here.

I can't do this.

I can't tell some stranger about my past.

I can't tell him about all the disgusting awful things I've done.

I can't tell him about what's happened to me.

When the door is open and I'm about to make the quickest escape possible. Suddenly, the breath is taken from my lungs and a rush of relief is washed over me.

She came.

She's here.

I'm confused as fuck as to why she is, but she's here and that's all that matters.

She can see the worry in my eyes, she can see the terror spiraling through my body.

I see the panic in hers when she rushes to me as I freeze in place, shocked to see her here.

"Christian?"

Her hands gently take mine and the warmth and comfort allow my body to calm, even if it's just for a little bit.

"I can't do it, Ana…I can't"

Her eyes lift from my hands and up to my eyes.

"I can't fucking sit there and talk about it."

"Hey…Hey…it's okay…."

I can feel my Mom watching us with sadness, I can feel her sad eyes staring at me.

But she's here….Ana is here….

How is she here?

She's meant to be working.

"What are you doing here?"

I lean into her hand as her delicate fingers move to my cheek.

The soothing touch I needed.

"Just after I got off the phone to you, Mr. Roach let me off for the day because I finished all the manuscripts and more so. I came straight here to surprise you for when you came out of your session…" She smiles sadly.

She came.

She actually came.

"Christian…would you like to come back inside?"

Flynn regards the change in my character immediately when Ana is around.

I look at him, then back to Ana.

"You're off for the rest of the day?"

She responds agreeing before I glance back towards Flynn.

"Is it possible she could accompany me in the session?"

"If it would make you feel more at ease…then yes"

My gaze then moves back to Ana, " Will you?"

"Of course I will…" She whispers taking my hand in hers.

I can see the tiny smile my Mom has as she takes her seat once again, anticipating for us and the session to end.

The two most significant women in my life stood right here with me, supporting me.

Ana captures my hand and we follow Flynn back into the room.

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	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 68…

"Are you sure Mr. Roach?" I beam but trying to hide the excitement.

As much as I adore working and as comfortable as I am to finally be back after everything that has happened, I really do feel so guilty that I wasn't able to be there by Christian's side for his session today.

I worked so vigorously today in an attempt to finish things a little earlier and a little quicker with the hope I could, in fact, leave earlier and make it over to the building in time to meet Christian from his session.

He was so nervous.

When I called him only 20 minutes ago, I could tell it in his voice that he was shaking and distraught.

All those memories, all the abuse, all the grief and hurt coming back to haunt him over and over and over.

He's doing this for me, I know he is. He's doing it for his family.

Me, Teddy and little blip.

"Of course Ana, you've done an amazing job today and you've flown through everything I've handed to you. I'm so glad to have you back"

"Thanks, Mr. Roach, that means so much honestly. I'm so happy to be back, I love this job"

"And you're extremely good at it too…See you tomorrow Ana"

I giggle slightly at his words with a small nod of my head.

"I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early"

He simply gives me a smile and a nod before making his way back to the office.

With haste, I seize my bag and coat and I'm passed the door before I realize my feet are even transferring me.

Christian.

Get me to Christian.

Before I know it, I'm opening the door to the building and making my way up the stairs.

"Christian!"

I hear his name being called and the tone of his voice makes me worry anxiously.

My feet surprisingly move a little quicker down the corridor where I see Grace standing to her feet. Maybe she heard his name being called too?

What's happening?

What's going on?

"Grace…." I look at her and within seconds of her locking eyes with me, the door is opening with a petrified and vulnerable Christian.

His eyes are full of horror, his cheeks are blazing red, his hands are quivering.

Oh, my poor Christian.

Is this really going to help him?

Should he really be going through this?

Maybe he's not ready.

Oh my gosh, I feel so guilty.

I feel so sad and hurt that he has to go through this torment.

My poor poor Christian.

He's frozen and just stares at me.

"Christian?" I reach out for his hands and luckily he doesn't pull away from me.

His hands are cold and quivering with fear.

I cup his palms in both of mine and when I look up at him, he hasn't once taken his eyes away from mine.

He wants and needs reassurance.

He needs comfort and closure.

I'm so glad I came.

Oh my goodness, I am so so glad I came.

He needs me.

"I can't do it, Ana…I can't"

The terror in his voice penetrates through my heart causing me to look down at his trembling hands in mine and then back up again.

"I can't fucking sit there and talk about it."

I have to console him.

I have to help him.

I have to let him know that it's okay to feel scared.

"Hey…Hey…it's okay…."

"What are you doing here?"

He looks at me, his eyes wide with astonishment and oppression.

"Just after I got off the phone to you, Mr. Roach let me off for the day. I came here to surprise you when you finished…"

I gently rub my thumb across his cheek, reassuring him.

"Christian…would you like to come back inside?"

I hear a voice and I look up to see the therapist watching Christian and me together.

I notice the way Christian looks to him and then back at me and suddenly I know exactly what's coming.

"You're off for the rest of the day?" He asks, his eyes pleading with me and nod in answer.

"Is it possible she could accompany me in the session?"

"If it would make you feel more at ease…then yes" Dr. Flynn replies with a tiny sad smile. Partly understanding Christian already.

As soon as the words leave his mouth Christian's gaze immediately moves to mine.

His eyes pleading into mine, wanting me to join him.

" Will you?"

His voice is small. Almost like a child's.

Fearful, panicked and needing sympathy.

He needs me for this.

This is such a big thing for him and he needs me.

How I became so lucky for this man to fall In love with me, I'll never understand and I'll ask myself the same silly question every single day.

But he did and he does.

We're a family, he holds the key to my heart and me, his.

"Of course I will…" I whisper with a reassuring smile as I take his hand in mine.

I watch as the corners of his lips curve into the most petite of smiles and his fingers lace with mine.

He looks behind him, taking one last look at Grace.

I do the same.

She has a smile. An appreciative smile as she looks between the both of us.

I can see the affection, adoration, and proudness in her eyes as she takes us both in.

With that, we make our way into the room, slowly but surely.

Sitting on the comfortable sofa, my hand in his as he taps his knee nervously.

My free hand moving to rest against his leg in another attempt to make his feel relaxed, calmer and know he's not alone.

The first session went as well as could be expected.

Flynn asked the questions, Christian answered them to the best he could. There was sorrow, resentment, bitterness, disappointment….but through the entire time, his hand remained in mine.

The second session, I managed to get a day off work and so I will for every session in the future too.

The nights after each session, come as a nightmare.

Bringing up the past events is torturing him into remembering.

Flynn is astounding, ensuring that the sessions are left light heartedly and not on a negative….but as soon as Christian closes his eyes and drifts into a deep sleep, each night, the memories come flooding back on.

Tossing.

Turning.

Crying out.

Whimpering.

Sweating.

Panting.

Almost seizure-like actions.

"NO! NO!"

I feel the stirring next to me causing me to wake from my own slumber.

The bedsheets soaked with sweat once again.

"NO! DON'T! DON'T TOUCH! NO! NO! NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! STOP!"

Christian….

My poor poor Christian.

He tosses and turns violently and every attempt I try to control him but he swats me away unknowingly.

"Christian…..Christian…"

Please wake up….

Please wake up….

Please wake up….

Please wake up….

Please wake up….

Please wake up….

I try and I try but the same happens every single night.

The more he talks, the worse they come.

"Ana…please don't leave me…..please…no….no….don't leave me"

He mumbles barely even saying the words but I understand them.

His terrors come to him through nightmares.

His body starts to calm a little and I take my opportunity to cup his cheeks, gently shake his shoulders in my best attempt to wake him.

Then it starts back up.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! NO! NO!"

I can sense the tears welling in my eyes and starting to surge down my cheeks.

This must be torture for him. The distress and misery replaying over and over and over again.

"Christian! Wake up! Christian!"

And finally, his eyes pop open in terror.

His chest rising and falling rapidly as he pants to catch his breath.

The back of his hand comes up to his forehead to wipe away the sweat that comes with the memories.

Then he looks at me, the tears streaming down my cheeks.

I despise seeing him like this.

I hate it.

It breaks my heart.

"Ana…." He whispers as terror laces his voice.

"I'm here…..I'm here…." I gently and carefully move my arms around him and he willingly leans into my embrace.

I can feel his muscles shaking beneath my hands as I try to console and comfort him.

"I'm sorry….I'm sorry…" He mutters into the crook of my neck.

"There's nothing for you to apologize for Christian…it's okay…it's okay…." I whisper as I run my fingers through his hair gently grazing his scalp.

"I'm sorry" He whispers again. His hand moving to graze over my stomach where our tiny little blip continues to grow inside of me. "I love you".

"I love you….we all love you" I whisper against his ear before gently lifting his chin up to gaze at me and I press my lips softly against his.

I pull back after a moment and I gaze towards the clock on my bedside table.

4.03 am.

"I keep waking you" He whispers as his fingertips trail up and down my arm.

"It's okay….you'd do the same for me" I smile reassuringly and he nods confirming my thoughts.

He'd do anything for me as much as I'd do anything for him.

Always and forever.

Forever and always.

"How about a bath?" I kiss his still sweaty forehead.

He simply nods at my question.

I rise off the bed and he follows quickly after. I gaze down at the soaked sheets from his panicked sweating during the night, making a mental note to do laundry today. But first…making sure he's okay.

His hands moving to my waist as we make our way into the bathroom and I willingly lean into his embrace.

He leans down turning on the water before turning me to face him.

His deep, dark and lustful eyes piercing into mine.

His fingertips grazing over my shoulder as he slowly slides the straps of my silky smooth nightgown down my arms allowing my nightgown to pool at the bottom of my feet.

I can feel my heart rate increase already and I watch as his lips curl into a small smile as he notices the reaction my body has for him.

Goosebumps plastering my skin, my hairs standing on edge as I bite my lip.

Brushing my hair behind my ear as I gaze down shyly.

He still makes me feel like a little school girl with a silly crush.

But it's not a crush, it's love.

I love him with everything I have.

"You're so beautiful" He whispers as he lifts my chin carefully to gaze back into his eyes.

His eyes have turned from being scared and frightened, to being loaded with love.

There's my Christian.

I lift my hand to cup his cheek as I move up onto my tippy to kiss him softly.

My other hand moving to his boxer shorts and slowly pushing them down.

His fingertips dip into either side of my panties and he gradually pushes them down my legs but along with them, his kisses hunt down my body.

Originating at my neck, my collarbone, my breasts, my nipples, my rib cage, my abdomen…all the way down until he's knelt on the floor in front of me.

I allow my hand to run through his hair as I gaze down at him.

He presses a kiss against my tummy before dipping lower and lower and suddenly, I can feel my eyeballs roll to the back of my head in pleasure.

My hand fists into his hair a little harder as his tongue swirls around my delicate bud.

"Ch…Christian…" I moan softly, my tongue running along my bottom lip before biting down into the flesh.

I can feel him smirk against skin before his hands hold me in place and his tongue moves faster, harder almost making my body convulse and writhe in pleasure.

"A..Ah….." My breathing becomes more rapid, his fingertips start to dig into my skin as he continues to tip me over the edge.

I can feel the pressure building between my legs.

Growing.

And growing.

Until suddenly, he halts…

Removing his tongue from my oh so sensitive bud.

His hands grip my ass and he lifts me up onto the kitchen sink, moving his body between my legs.

I move my hands around the back of his neck gently stroking the back of his skin.

His fingertips graze up my inner thighs and my eyes close, relishing the feeling of his hands on me.

They trail higher and higher and before I know it, I can feel his fingers slipping inside of me while his thumb continues to make circling assaults.

This man….

This man will be the death of me.

My body starts to react and tremble with every single one of his touches.

"Christian…."

His fingers remove and his length enters me, hard and fast.

Our bodies moving together, right here on the sink.

His thrusts move with my own.

My head falls back in pleasure and his face hides into the crook of my neck as I listen to his grunts and pants.

Hearing his noises turning me on even more.

Both of our bodies building, sweating, responding to every single action.

"Cum for me" He whispers as his own body starts to become tense.

The pressure builds and builds and builds and before I know it, I'm crying out his name in complete euphoria.

Feeling him spill inside of me as he palpitates hard against my neck.

"I love you" I whisper, my eyes remaining close and my hand brushing up and down his back.

"I love you more" He whispers as his lips make small butterfly kisses along my collar bone.

I giggle feeling his kisses along my skin and when I open my eyes and my gaze ends up over the top of his shoulder, I squeal.

"Christian! The bath!"

"Fuck!"

He turns quickly as he rushes to the bath that's almost already overflowing.

Amidst our lovemaking, we forgot we had even turned it on.

I try to stifle my laughs as his hands make quick work of the tap.

He looks up at me before starting to laugh himself.

It's the first time I've heard him laugh….really laugh in such a long time and the sound is like music to my ears.

I gently slip myself off the sink and I make my way to him.

The water finally stopping its assaults of flooding our bathroom and it being the perfect height for us both to sink into the water.

I rest both of my hands at Christian's sides as my head raises and my eyes gaze up at him.

"I love hearing you laugh" I whisper. And with that one simple sentence, I watch as his lips curl up into another smile.

"I love seeing your smile" He whispers right back as his lips come in contact with my forehead and within minutes our bodies are sinking into the glorious steaming water.

Our bodies resting against each other, our eyes closed, our fingertip caressing each other's skin as we relax and enjoy this moment.

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I just want to say a huge thank you for all the messages and comments I've received during my absence. Unfortunately, things have been a little hectic and I really do apologize for my lack of updates over the last couple of months.

I hope you'll continue to follow and enjoy and I'll do my best to continue updating as often as possible!

I hope you are all doing well during this sad time in the world and fingers crossed things will look better and brighter soon!


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 69…

_5 months later_

I plant a kiss against Anastasia's stomach, grinning as we're laying in bed after a long day.

Things have been so much greater lately. The sessions have been serving tremendously. The nightmares still come but they are most definitely far and long between each other now. Still, even when they do come, Ana is always there right by my side.

"They're getting so big" I whisper against her smooth and delicate bump as I raise my eyes to look up at her laying there.

Our little blip growing and growing inside of her.

Our family.

My family.

Looking back now I can't believe how far I have come and it's all thanks to my strong and courageous little Theodore. My beautiful and independent fiance. And now, our growing little blip.

My Mom is also very excited to have another grandchild.

Teddy…is very excited to have someone to play with.

I hear Ana giggle as she nods laughing, with her delicate hand moving through my hair.

"They are" She smiles even more.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"I think it's a girl"

"I think it's a boy, he's got a good kick in him" I grin and she laughs as I launch myself back up beside her, resting on my elbow.

"Girls can give some pretty good kicks too" She grins right back at me and I love it when she does.

She's so feisty, so cheeky and she's mine.

How did I ever get so lucky to end up with someone like her to love me endlessly?

I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I had never met her.

"I can't wait to make you mine" I mutter against her forehead before pressing a tender kiss to it.

"I already am yours" She smiles and turns to cuddle against my body.

My arms willingly wrap around her. "But when I'm not looking like a beached whale, then we can say I do... deal?" She grins and nuzzles into my neck, placing a gentle butterfly kiss against my skin.

"But at least you're a beautiful looking beached whale" I joke and laugh when I hear her gasp.

Then I feel her light teasing punch to my ribs as she starts laughing too.

"You're lucky I love you" Her eyebrows furrow but her lips curl into a smile.

"I know I am"

I lean down kissing her softly which she reciprocates willingly.

I really am the lucky one.

Little footsteps come bounding down the hallway and I know it's our little man wanting cuddles.

We both pull away smiling and laughing, waiting for the door to open.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Teddy comes running in smiling brightly with a piece of paper in hand.

"Hi, sweetheart" Ana replies with her usual warm and caring softness of tone.

"There's my boy" I bend down boosting up him with one arm and onto our bed.

He laughs when I place him between us and Ana crosses her arm around him cuddling him close to her.

The love in her eyes for him, and his returned is something I will never tire of witnessing.

I never thought I'd find someone to love either of us as much as she does.

"I mades a picture!" He beams proudly and when he holds it up Ana's eyes widen in delight.

"Wow baby boy, that's amazing! Is that us?"

"Mhmm…" He starts to point through the little stick people he's drawn.

"Mommy….Daddy…Me!" He laughs.

"And who's this?" I point to the others.

"Gwandma and gwandpa…. Uncle Ewiot and his girlyfwend"

"Kate" Ana laughs more ruffling his hair and then placing a kiss to the top of his head.

"What about this one" Ana points to the very tiny one stood next to me in the picture.

"The baby" He smiles and his arms move around Ana's still growing belly.

I find myself glowing, my lips curving into a bright smile, and with that, both of my arms move around the most important people in my life.

My family.

The next morning when I wake, Teddy is still attached to Ana and he's completely passed out in Ana's arms.

I snap a cute light picture before emerging from the bed and heading into the kitchen to collect the scrambled eggs and toast from Mrs. Jones that she has delightfully made us all for breakfast. She's wonderful.

With Ana getting bigger and bigger every single day and my protective side showing, I wish she would leave work soon and take her maternity early, but as always, she's a stubborn little thing and refuses me every time I try to bring up the conversation.

I just worry…..A lot.

"Thank you, Mrs. Jones".

"You're welcome Mr. Grey"

"Morning handsome" I hear her voice just as I'm about to pick up the plates to bring into the bedroom.

When I turn, she's looking as beautiful as ever.

Just woken up Ana is my favorite.

Despite her long sleep, her bed hair, her sleepy like eyes she's still as beautiful.

"Morning beautiful" I walk over pecking her lips. "Eggs on toast?"

"Sounds perfect, Thank you, Mrs. Jones," Ana says sweetly.

"You're welcome" Mrs. Jones smiles.

"I was going to bring it to you in bed"

"You're so sweet".

"I try".

Ana smiles more and sits at the island.

"Is little Teddy still sleeping?" Mrs. Jones asks and Ana nods in reply.

"He's completely passed out".

"I'll keep his in the warmer" Mrs. Jones says as she places the dish under the warmer.

"I'll wake him soon," I say sipping my coffee, "We can have breakfast just the two of us today" I reach out taking Ana's hand and she smiles lovingly at the gesture.

"Perfect".

We sit there, sipping our hot drinks, eating our breakfasts.

"I have to get ready for work" She slides from the stool, her hand gently caressing the baby bump as she does so.

"When will you start taking your leave?" I ask protectively.

Slipping off my stool by her side and my hand resting over hers against her bump.

"I was hoping to stick it out until maybe 2-3 weeks before my due date. It's not exactly hard labor and I really enjoy it."

She must read the discomfort in my face at her words.

2-3 weeks before the due date?

That's such a long time away!

What if something happens?

What if she gets hurt?

What if she does too much? She is so stubborn sometimes I cant deal with it.

I want to argue this case but I know for a fact I'll lose it.

"Women stay in work all the time Christian, I'm pregnant that's all…it's all going to be okay, nothing is going to happen. I sit at a desk, I read, I write, I type, I write some more, I read some more….and then I come home." She ensures me.

She knows exactly what she's doing. Trying to convince me it'll all be okay.

I almost lost her, more than once since the moment I met her.

I don't want to risk that again.

And now she has more than just her to think about.

"I just worry…." I admit, allowing my fingers to carefully run through her long brunette bed haired curls.

"I know you do…" On her tippy toes, she pecks my lips causing me to smile. "I have to get ready".

"I'll wake Teddy and bring him for breakfast"

"Perfect…can you drop him at school today? I have to be in earlier for a meeting"

"Of course baby" I kiss her forehead before we head into the bedroom.

In an attempt to wake a very sleepy Teddy, he squirms and wriggles in my arms laughing as I tickle his sides.

"Wakey Wakey little monkey"

My smile grows as I see Ana's smirk watching us before she heads into the bathroom to get dressed.

"Noooooooooooo 5 more minutes Daddy" He whines teasingly. Definitely mimicking what I normally

say.

"You gotta eat your breakfast buddy, then Daddy has to take you to school"

"Cans I come to work with you instead Daddy?"

"Sorry Buddy, but you have to go to school"

"Awww" His little head rests on my shoulder. His small arms move around my neck as he holds me close.

I can feel the love, compassion, and care in this one small little embrace.

My boy.

After everything, he's been through, after everything he's witnessed. He's still an incredible little guy.

I head into the kitchen with him, placing him on the stool and rising it so he can reach his little plate.

As always, he wolfs it down. He loves the food Mrs. Jones makes. And also when Ana cooks too.

"Is the baby coming yet Daddy?"

"Not yet buddy, a few weeks to go"

"Okays" He nods approvingly. "How long is a fews weeks?"

I chuckle laughing, "You're excited huh?"

He nods beaming brightly up at me.

"I shows them my drawings and play with them, read them books! Mommy said I can helps the baby to read like Mommy taughted me!"

"That's a wonderful idea buddy, I'm sure the baby would love that!"

I ruffle his hair as I start on another cup of coffee.

"Okay, I have to go…. I'll see you later" Ana kisses me softly on the lips and then turns to Teddy. "I'll see you after school sweetheart okay?"

"Is you picking me up from school?"

"Mommy will be there"

"Yayyyyyy" He squeals in delight.

"Love you sweetheart"

"Love you, Mommy"

Ana presses a big kiss against his cheek and embraces him softly before collecting her bag and making her way out the door.

"I'll see you guys later"

"Don't forget we have dinner at my parents tonight"

"6 o clock?"

"6 o clock" I smile and as she's slipping on her shoes, I make my way over to her to steal one last kiss before she's out the door.

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you too" She smiles against my lips.

"Call me if you need anything"

"I will"

And she's gone.

I sigh content with a smile as I make my way back to the kitchen with Teddy.

As much as I worry, I love watching her going to work.

She always looks so….so professional, so beautiful….so…..sexy.

Even with her bump.

After getting Teddy and myself ready for the day, I strap him into his car seat before driving to the school.

"Okay Buddy, here we go"

I unbuckle him lifting him out.

"Mommy will pick you up from school okay? Daddy has to work a little later tonight"

"Okays! But Daddy still coming to gwandma and gwandpas?"

"Yeah buddy, Daddy will be there"

"Pwomise?"

"I promise" I smile kissing his cheek and then ruffling his hair.

"I love you, Teddy"

"Love you Daddy" He smiles brightly before his little feet rush straight into his classroom.

Thanks to Ana, he surprisingly loves school now. He'd still rather be glued to mine or Ana's sides, but now at least he knows he can paint, read, draw, write to make his day go a little faster and then one of us will always be there to pick him up at the end of the day.

Once he's out of sight, I make my way to work.

Business meeting after business meeting.

Phone call after phone call.

I love my company and I can't believe it's been built into what it has. It truly is incredible but days like these, I wish I could just stay at home curled up in front of the fire with my family.

I can't wait for Ana to have the baby so we can all take the time off to be together, to support each other, and spend time with the new little addition to the family.

Sat in the office going over report after report.

Phone call after phone call.

Email after Email.

Skype meetings.

Board meetings.

I look at my computer screen seeing it's 4 pm.

Weird.

Ana normally calls me during her lunch break.

Did she get one today?

I will most definitely not be impressed if she hasn't.

She has to eat!

For her and the baby!

My brows furrow as I pull my phone from my pocket.

I press the button.

Black screen.

What the fuck?

I press it down harder to reveal the charging image.

Fuck sake.

I must have forgotten to put it on charge last night when Teddy came into the room.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Fuck.

I pull open my drawer, retrieving the cable, and immediately plugging it into my laptop.

"Come on…. Come on….."

Finally, after a few seconds, the screen lights up.

Fuck yes!

Then, my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach.

School.

School.

School.

School.

Dad.

Ana.

Unknown.

Ana.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

Dad.

Dad.

Ana.

Ana.

Ana.

Unknown.

Unknown.

Unknown.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

All missed calls.

_'Christian, please call when you see this' _

_'Christian! Answer your phone!' _

What the fuck is going on?

As I stare down at my screen I scroll through the missed calls.

Why is the school calling me?

Oh, no….

Teddy.

Fuck.

Did something happen? Has something happened?

FUCK.

In a panic, I try to call my Mom but there's no answer.

I feel my heart sinking lower and lower into the deep pit of my stomach.

I try over and over and over again but no answer.

I try Dad and again no answer.

Next option, the school.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello…this is…."

"It's Mr. Grey, I have missed calls from you? Did something happen to Teddy?" I can hear and feel the panic vibrate through my voice.

"Oh, Mr. Grey…yes…sorry, we weren't sure who was coming to pick little Teddy up today".

"Ana…Anastasia Steele is…"

"Sorry sir, but we tried to get a hold of Miss Steele but we were unfortunate. We did manage to get a hold of a Grace Grey and she left with Teddy no longer than 10 minutes ago".

Fuck.

Ana.

What's happened to Ana?!

"Teddy…he's…he's okay?" I just have to be sure.

"He's perfectly fine Mr. Grey, he was disappointed it wasn't Miss Steele but very excited to see his Grandma".

"Thank you".

I hang up.

Fuck.

I grab my coat rushing out of the door.

Dialing my Mom's number over and over and over and over again.

But still, no answer.

What the fuck is going on!

I take another look through my missed calls.

Unknown.

Unknown.

I press dial and it starts to ring.

"Hello, you've reached Mr. Roach of SIP"

"Roach, it's Christian…."

"Oh Christian, finally…." I can hear the change in his voice immediately.

"Is she okay? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing to worry about…but she needs you. She went into early labor at work, Hannah drove her straight to rhe hospital..."

Everything he says after that turns into a muffled blur.

Wh….What…..

My phone practically falls out of my hand and crashes onto the elevator floor.

I hear the faint call of Roach's voice call me through my speaker, but suddenly I'm frozen.

The baby….

The baby it's coming?

But….it's…it's so….so early…

Fuck…..Fuck…..Fuck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 70…

It's 3.45 pm and I'm preparing to leave and pick up my handsome little man.

Teddy.

He's so thrilled about dinner at Grace and Carrick's tonight. And honestly so am I.

I cherish it when we all get together.

I begin to put all my manuscripts into alphabetical order.

15 minutes to finish up here and grab Teddy by 4 pm.

I've got this.

"Ana… I have some more for you" Hannah lightly knocks against my door frame. standing there with her pretty smile.

She's carrying a large stack of even more manuscripts.

Great.

Those can definitely wait until tomorrow.

"Thanks, Hannah, I'll take them" I smile appreciatively as I stand, moving around my desk to take them readily into my hands.

"No problem….is there anything else you need?"

"No I think I'm all done for…..Ohh…." I feel a stinging pain through my side.

Or was it my stomach.

"Ana?" Hannah looks at me with concern in her eyes.

"I'm okay… just the baby kicking"

Next there's another short knock at the door with Mr. Roach's bright and proud smile.

"Great work again today Ana"

"Thanks, Mr. Roach…..Ohhh….."

Another pain strikes.

I thought, I thought maybe it would just be the baby kicking, moving, dancing. Anything!

But I was wrong.

So So wrong.

The manuscripts cascade down towards the floor as another bolt of pain rushes through my body sending pieces of loose paper to fly around the room.

That is going to be a nightmare to put back into order tomorrow.

"Ohhhh….." I grimace in pain as I clutch the edge of the table.

"Ana…." Roach rushes into the room alongside Hannah.

"Ana sit down" Hannah is at my side helping me to sit but before I do, I feel the trickle down my leg.

Oh no…

Oh no, no….

Oh no no no….

"we'll get you to the hospital Ana" Roach nods calling an ambulance as I pull my cell phone out calling Christian. But there's not even a ring to it.

I call Grace and fortunately she answers on the 5th ring.

"Ana darling…."

"Grace….I….the baby….I can't get a hold of Christian"

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes and my breathing becoming so accelerated I can hardly catch my breath.

"Ana….sweetheart….calm down, I can barely hear you. What's wrong?" She says calmly but I can hear the worrying tone in her voice.

"My waters have broken, I can't get a hold of Christian…." I take a deep breath answering her question before panting harder as another wave rushes through my body.

It can't be now…it can't be.

It's too early.

Grace reassures me everything is going to be okay, she'll get Christian and meet me at the Hospital.

Which for now, means I'm alone in this.

"I'll drive you to the hospital Ana….it'll be quicker than ambulance right now"

"S…Sawyer can take us…. but will you come with me?" I look up pleading with her.

I am petrified.

From head to toe I am terrified.

I try Christian again, and again.

I call his office but I'm repeatedly met with 'This is Christian Grey, I'm currently unavailable right now but please get in contact with our front desk and leave a message'.

Great.

He did say he had a busy day ahead.

I take a few more deep breaths before Hannah and Sawyer help me to the car.

On the way down Sawyer continues his attempts to get in contact with Christian or Taylor but with Taylor being off duty to spend time with his daughter we're all finding it very difficult.

"Hello, this is Andrea, Mr. Grey's assistant how can I help"

Finally!

"Andrea….it…it's Ana, is Christian available?" I breathe heavily.

"Miss Steele, of course…I'll just put you through"

'Ring….Ring….Ring…. This is Christian Grey, I'm currently unavailable right now but please get in contact with our front desk and leave a message'.

I look at the time, at 4.06 pm already.

Teddy.

I have to get in touch with them about Teddy.

I've been so busy trying to get in contact with Christian that I missed the calls from Teddy's school.

Shit!

I dial the number breathing heavily.

"Ana let me do it…." Hannah notices the pain in my face as I'm trying to function.

Everything that could be going wrong is going wrong….

I just want to scream.

Just as I go to hand my phone over to Hannah, Grace starts to call me.

Quickly answering with relief.

"Grace…."

"I've just got a hold of him darling, he's on his way to the hospital right now. I've got Teddy, the school called me, I'm going to take him home, leave him with Carrick and come right back to the hospital okay?"

"Thank you Grace…thank you so much…." The tears start to roll down my cheeks.

Finally…..Finally…

Teddy is safe and Christian is on his way.

"Deep breaths now sweetheart, keep focussed…. and you'll have your little one in your arms in no time okay? Christian will be by your side. Stay strong"

Her words make my tears cascade down my cheeks even more.

Once I'm off the phone with Grace, I look to Hannah to contact my Mom and Dad.

"We're almost there Ana".

I'm escorted into the hospital and through to the maternity ward.

I can hear the cries of babies, I can see the smiles of mothers but when they see me, I know they can see the fear on my face.

I'm not ready for this, I'm not prepared.

The baby shouldn't be ready for this either!

It's too early, it's way too early.

What if something is wrong?

What if after everything that's happened the baby was harmed, what if….

What if….

What if….

My heart rate increases rapidly.

I close my eyes as they hurry me through for testing.

Hannah is at my side holding my hand for now while Sawyer stands just outside of the door.

"Where is she?"

I hear his voice and suddenly I feel the smallest amount of fear leave my body.

He's here.

Thank goodness he's here.

I look and I see Hannah's smile.

"I'll leave you to it Ana…good luck and I can't wait to see the little one".

"Thank you, Hannah, I really appreciate it".

The door swings open and the worrying look on Christian's face sends a shiver through my body.

"Ana…." He says moving immediately to my side. He looks up to Hannah, nodding in appreciation of her support just before she slips out of the door.

He takes my hand tightly between his, pressing the hardest of kisses to my knuckles.

"What happened? I'm so so sorry Ana. My phone died, then after receiving a phone call from Andrea I realized I left my automated voicemail on my office phone. Fuck I'm such an idiot. Ana, I'm so sorry"

"Hey….Hey….it's okay….you're here now, everything is fine" I say reassuringly. But I'm not entirely reassured myself.

Is everything fine?

What if it's not?

As the hours dragged and the intensity of the labor kicked in, the pain was nothing like I had ever imagined to endured before.

Christian was by my side the entire time, Doctors and Midwives rushing around me. Testing, checking, monitoring, scanning.

I could hear the screams of the other women in labor come from various rooms around me and the tiny heartwarming cries of the newborn babies.

With each new contraction, my body would be dominated by pain.

The worry on Christian's face seeing me in such a way is enough for me to close my eyes.

"Is the baby doing okay? Should it be coming this early?"

Christian looks to the midwife that has been monitoring me for the entire evening.

"Although 9 months is ideal, babies wanting to come into the world a little sooner than we expected is very common" She gives a reassuring smile.

"So the baby is okay?" I pant breathlessly.

"We're monitoring them, you're at 6cm dilation right now, a little more to go and you'll be needing to push"

I simply nod. I already feel like I need to push.

The intense pressure against the lower half of my body is unbearable.

I suck against the gas tube they offered me to help relieve the pain.

"I love you….so so much" Christian whispers against my temple as he places a small and tender kiss against my skin.

"I love you too"

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The monitor starts to pick up and the midwife's head shoots up towards the screen.

The look on her face is one that will haunt me forever.

The look of worry, fear, panic.

She grabs her pager and within seconds a Doctor is rushing into our room washing his hands before making his way over.

"The heart rate has decreased dramatically" The midwife says to the doctor who nods in agreement.

He looks to me, Christian, and back to the midwife.

He feels my tummy.

Seconds start to feel like minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days. It's like time has suddenly stood still and there's no way of escaping it.

I knew!

I knew something was wrong.

I was right all along.

But what happens now?

What is happening to our baby!

I can feel the tears welling in my eyes and when I look up towards Christian I can see the tears developing in his too.

If we lose this baby it will break him.

It will break me.

It will destroy me.

I can't lose it.

I just can't.

We can't.

My own heart rate starts to rise with distress and terror.

"Miss Steele, I know it's very hard to do so right now but we need you to remain calm, take deep breaths okay? I believe the umbilical cord is wrapped around the bay's neck. You're not fully dilated yet and I'd be worried about your safety and the baby's if we tried to push it out now. We are going to need to take you down for an emergency section to ensure you and the baby survive"

I seize Christian's hand tighter.

I just want my baby.

I want our little blip to be alive, breathing, and crying.

I'll do whatever it takes.

"Do it….do it now" I say sternly as another contraction rushes through my body.

Time goes by so slowly and suddenly everything is starting to feel like a blur.

I can't see straight. I can't think straight.

I don't even realize they've injected me until I can no longer feel the pain in the lower half of my body.

"Ana we're going to have to act quickly okay?"

I hear them but I don't respond. The put a blue sheet between my head and my stomach so I can't even see the baby being born.

Do I want to see it though?

If it's not breathing, would I want to see it?

I can feel my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces. I close my eyes when I feel the trickle of water drip down my cheek.

"Ana…." I feel familiar lips against my skin.

When I open my eyes I see Christian wearing a blue plastic cap and scrubs.

"I'm scared Christian….I'm so scared" I sob and whimper. My eyes closing once again.

"Hey…" He cups my cheeks wiping away my tears.

"You're going to be fine, I promise. You're so strong Ana, I've never met anyone like it. And our baby is half of you. If it has even half the amount of strength that you do then it'll fight to survive okay? Stay calm baby. I'm right here" He says comfortingly.

I close my eyes as I take in a deep breath.

When my eyes reopen, I can see Christian peering over the top of the blue sheet that is blocking my view between me and my baby.

This is not how I planned things to go.

I wanted the pain, I wanted to watch my baby emerge from my body, but now?

Now all of that is gone.

I feel nothing.

I feel numb.

Numb from the shot but also emotionally all of a sudden.

My heart was breaking, but now….

I stare at the glowing bright lights above me.

The hospital lights piercing through my eyeballs.

"You're doing so well baby" Christian whispers against my ear as he bends down to the height of the bed.

I turn my head to look at him. I feel exhausted.

Completely and utterly exhausted.

Worry, Panic, excitement, fear. All of it rolled into one.

I give Christian the smallest of smiles.

And suddenly, I hear the tiny high pitched cry echoing the room.

I look down but for now, that's all I can see is the blue sheet between me and my newborn baby.

"Where….where is it…." I whisper towards Christian.

I look at him seeing the tears filling his eyes.

He can see it, he can see our baby.

Watching tears roll down Christian's cheeks as he stands, bringing my own eyes to mist up too.

Our baby still whimpering and crying across the room.

I can't wait to see it.

What is it?

Boy?

Girl?

"Congratulations Mr. Grey, Miss Steele….you have a beautiful and healthy…"

The voice starts to drift from my hearing.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"Ana"

I hear Christian call out my name, his voice etched with worry.

What is that beeping sound?

Why is everything blurry?

Distorted?

What is happening?

"Ana?"

Christian….

"Ana!"

My baby,…

"Ana...baby...stay with me"

Blackout.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter 71…

I have never raced so fast in my entire lifetime.

It was as if nothing could obstruct me or stand in my way.

I needed to be there, if I miss even a single moment of this then I would never forgive myself.

I'm such a fucking idiot!

I cannot believe I forgot about my answerphone message, leaving it on from being in the meetings all day.

I could have missed it all, but luckily I made it just in time.

I hurried through the hospital doors.

"Miss Steele, where is she? Please…" Questioning every single person possible as I hasten down the hall.

Being told 'I'll find out for you sir, two minutes'.

I don't have two minutes!

I need to be by Ana's side right now!

I move through the hallways continuing to seek out my fiance.

"Mr. Grey!" I hear a familiar voice and Sawyer is signaling towards a room.

Finally!

"Where is she?"

"Right inside sir" He nods at me.

Thank fuck for my security, I don't know what I'd do without them.

I nod towards his direction and when I enter into the room, I'm greeted by a wincing Ana, and her work companion, Hannah, perched at her side.

The distress and panic rushing through my entire body. The adrenaline pumping through every single vein.

Hannah gives me a petite smile but it doesn't concern me right now, all my anxieties are for Ana and our baby.

I give Hannah a simple nod before racing to Ana's side and taking her hand in mine.

Kissing against her skin.

"Ana…."

I don't even notice Hannah's exit.

I gaze up into her eyes.

My eyes examining her entire body to ensure that she's okay.

"What happened? I'm so so sorry Ana. My phone died, then after receiving a phone call from Andrea I realized I left my automated voicemail on my office phone. Fuck I'm such an idiot. Ana, I'm so sorry"

She stretches out to cup my cheek with the humblest of smiles.

She looks pale.

Way too pale.

She looks weakened already.

As soon as I entered the room I watched her grimace in pain.

And so it begins.

"Hey….Hey….it's okay….you're here now, everything is fine"

I could see in her face that everything was most definitely not fine.

I held her hand through it all.

I consoled her through the discomfort.

Working my hand through her hair, stroking my fingertips against her knuckles, massaging against her shoulders. But the pain she was going through, nothing could ease it.

Nothing.

The seconds turn to minutes that turn to hours.

She's so strong, so brave, but hearing her cries of pain dug deep into my heart.

I couldn't concentrate on anything but her.

"You're doing so well baby" I lift her knuckles to my lips.

"It hurts" She whimpers.

Her eyes are closed in exhaustion.

Sweat glistening on her forehead.

Doctors and midwives paying visits every so often to check her over.

"Is the baby doing okay? Should it becoming this early?"

The question asked like its been floating in the air since Ana arrived here. But with no answer as of yet.

"Although 9 months is ideal, babies wanting to come into the world a little sooner than we expected is very common"

"So the baby is okay?"

"We're monitoring them, you're at 6cm dilation right now, a little more to go and you'll be needing to push"

I have no idea what that means, but Ana nods reassuringly.

There's a long winding transparent tube attached to the side of the bed that leads up to a mouthpiece for Ana to suck on to try to ease the pain.

But still, it doesn't seem to be doing much.

"I love you….so so much" I press a kiss against her temple.

How did I ever get so lucky to have her in my life?

"I love you too"

How did I get so lucky to have someone like her fall in love with someone like me?

I beam down her, things starting to look a little more hopeful.

Soon we'll have a new little addition to our family, our little blip.

I still can't believe it.

I'm excited and nervous both at the same time.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Both of our heads shoot towards the monitor.

Something isn't right.

Ana clasps my hand vigorously, not even with a contraction, but instead with apprehension and dread.

Our midwife's head shoots up too and even I can see the panic on her face too.

Fuck.

Fuck.

What's happening?!

She grabs her pager and within seconds a Doctor is hurrying into our room, scrubbing his hands before proceeding his way over to Ana's bedside.

"The heart rate has decreased dramatically," The midwife informs the doctor who nods in understanding.

Seconds start to feel like minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days. It's like time has suddenly stood still and there's no way of escaping it.

Something is wrong.

Something is so very wrong.

I look at Ana. She has tears cascading down her cheeks.

Then I realize my own eyes are watering with the salty liquid too.

No.

No.

Fuck this can't be happening.

If anything happens to this baby I will never forgive myself.

Everything is my fault.

All of this was my fault.

"Miss Steele, I know it's very hard to do so right now but we need you to remain calm, take deep breaths okay? I believe the umbilical cord is wrapped around the bay's neck. You're not fully dilated yet and I'd be worried about your safety and the baby's if we tried to push it out now. We are going to need to take you down for an emergency section to ensure you and the baby survive"

As the Doctor talks, Ana clutches my hand even harder.

"Do it….do it now" Ana demands.

An emergency section?

There are so many risks.

So many risks for Ana and the baby, but to save our little blip she knows it needs to be done.

I didn't realize my tears were cascading down my cheeks until a droplet lands onto the pale blue bed sheet in front of me.

I quickly wipe them away.

I need to be strong now, I need to be strong for her.

They start to wheel her out of the room and I go to follow but the midwife stops me.

"Mr. Grey, for safety reasons I'll have to ask you to come with me to suit up first"

"I'm not leaving her, I want to be there! I have to be there!"

I hear Ana cry out with another rush of pain.

"You will be sir, I just need you to put scrubs on for safety and hygiene reasons. You'll be in the room with her in no time" The midwife smiles reassuringly and I nod.

Following her, she gives me the blue scrubs that I instantly hurry to put on over my clothing.

"Ana, we're going to have to act quickly okay?"

I listen as the midwife opens the door for me and I speed to her side.

"Ana…" I kiss her forehead she knows I'm here.

Her cheeks are tainted with rivers of tears.

Her face is pale, so so pale. But her eyes are burning red from the worrying and crying.

"I'm scared Christian….I'm so scared" She weeps with sorrow. Her eyes closing once again, allowing even more tears to roll down her cheeks.

"Hey…" I cup her cheeks in an attempt to make her look up at me.

It takes her a while, she tries to prevent her tears from falling, but finally, she looks at me.

"You're going to be fine, I promise. You're so strong Ana, I've never met anyone like it. And our baby is half of you. If it has even half the amount of strength that you do then it'll fight to survive okay? Stay calm baby. I'm right here"

I'm not sure if Ana can hear them talking, but they're close.

They're so close to bringing the baby out of her.

I peer over the top of the blue sheet that's blocking her view between her and the birth of her baby.

This must be torture for her.

She had such visions of how she wanted all of this to go.

But our little blip wanted to come into the world sooner than expected.

They're going to be a handle full, I can already tell.

I just hope, I trust and pray that they're both going to be okay.

I watch them delve into Ana's stomach, it looks horrific.

The way they've cut into her and continue to cut lower to reach our little blip. I can't see everything, but I witness enough before I have to turn away. It's the bullet all over again. The last time we were at this hospital, it was just after Ana got shot.

Seeing her blood again, seeing her skin scarred. Takes me back to that moment.

But I have to be strong for her. This is about our baby, not about the past. This is a great moment in our lives, not like the last time we were here.

I lean down beside Ana so I'm level height with her. I gently run my fingers through her hair and finally, she turns to look at me.

So tired and so exhausted she can barely move.

Her eyes are becoming more hidden with exhaustion.

"You're doing so well baby" I murmur.

She smiles at my words and before we know it, tiny little cries are echoing around the room.

She immediately looks down but is still met with the blue sheet covering her body.

"Where….where is it…." She whispers, eagerly wanting to see her baby.

I stand.

I can see them. I can see our baby.

Squirming and wriggling in the midwife's hands.

The midwife cleans them off and checks them over.

That's our baby.

Our baby is okay.

My eyes filled with heartfelt tears.

Happy ones.

The only other time I felt this way was when Teddy was born.

Now, now our little family is complete.

I let out a small little laugh at the sight of our newborn baby.

A laugh of pride, a laugh of contentment.

"Congratulations Mr. Grey, Miss Steele….you have a beautiful and healthy…"

The Doctor's voice starts to be overtaken by the beeping of Ana's monitor.

"Ana?"

"Ana…."

"Ana baby…"

"Miss Steele…."

"Ana?! Ana!"

Her eyes rolling to the back of her head before fully closing.

Her body becoming limp.

"What's happening?! What's going on?"

The doctor starts work on her. Checking her pulse, her blood pressure.

Everything on the monitor.

I'm torn between staying at her side or taking our little blip into my arms.

What do I do?!

Ana!

Fuck!

Ana!

An hour later, we're back in the original hospital room.

Ana laying on the bed, while I sit in the comfortable chair next to her bed holding our newborn baby girl.

After all the panic and the worry.

Ana and our daughter are both alive and well.

Our little blip wrapped in a small pink blanket and curled up into my arms.

She's tiny.

So so small I'm afraid I might break her.

Her little button nose is just the cutest little thing.

The way her small body wriggles slightly within her blanket is something that has made me giggle at for the last hour.

I keep welling up with tears just at the sight of her.

She's so beautiful, so perfect.

My eyes have darted between Ana and the baby the entire time I've been sat here.

Ana hasn't seen her yet. The exhaustion took over her body. But I know, I just know when she wakes and sees our little girl, she'll fall in love immediately.

I gaze at Ana who is still fast asleep laying on the hospital bed, before gazing back down and my beautiful little girl.

It takes me back to when Teddy came into this world.

I smoothly stroke her little cheek which causes her to stir slightly but she remains asleep.

She cried when she came into this world but as soon as she was cleaned up and placed into her little blanket, her cries turned into whimpers.

"Would you like to hold your daughter Mr. Grey?" I reminisce over the last 2 hours.

"Is Ana going to be okay?"

"She's going to be fine, her blood pressure dropped and it's what's commonly known as blacking out, or fainting. She just needs some rest Mr. Grey" She smiles at me.

I looked towards before looking back at my little baby girl in the midwife's arms.

I nodded towards the midwife and she willingly placed my baby into my arms.

Her whimpers stopped immediately.

It's like she knew me right from the start.

She knew I was her daddy and she curled into my arms.

I haven't put her down since.

I look back towards to Ana and then back to our little blip.

Her skin feels and looks so soft.

Her tiny little fingers clutching the top of her blanket and as my fingertip gently grazes over the back of her tiny little knuckles, her fingers lock around my pinky.

It makes my heart skip a beat.

I feel such pride.

Such happiness.

Everything I have ever dreamed of, everything I never imagined I could have.

My heart and head are overwhelmed with emotions.

With her delicate body, she feels so light, like I'm barely holding anything.

She's so peaceful, so quiet, so content. She looks so perfect.

My little girl.

Our little blip.

I am her protector for as long as I live and my love for her will last a lifetime. Same with Teddy and with Ana.

They are my life now. Nothing else can compare.

My dreams became a reality and I never ever thought they would.

I can feel another tear roll down my cheek as I gaze over at Ana who is still fast asleep on the bed.

During the procedure, she lost a lot of blood which I was told is normal and her blood pressure dropped causing her to blackout.

She's so strong and such a fighter.

The doctor, nurses, and midwives have been amazing with her.

They fixed her, they healed her, and now she's here laying beside me with the faint beep of her monitor to keep a check on her blood pressure.

But I've been assured that they're both completely fine and healthy.

The Doctor has been to check on Ana and our baby twice since the operation and the midwives every 20 minutes.

My two strong girls.

I notice a movement out of the corner of my eye and when I look up Ana's body is stirring awake.

Her eyelids gradually flickering before fully opening.

She looks around as if searching for me.

Confused by the events of the last two hours, her brows furrow. Until she must finally realize where she is and what's happened.

Finally, she locks eyes with me, then her gaze trails down to the little bundle in my arms.

"Ana…." I smile lovingly at her and she starts to sob.

"Is….I…." She sobs over her words.

"Our daughter" I smile more, carefully standing and I move to sit at the side of the bed, right beside her.

"A girl?" Ana whimpers as she lifts up a little more to get a better look.

"Take it easy" I kiss the top of her head whispering.

Carefully, I place our little girl into Ana's arms.

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	72. Chapter 72

Chapter 72…

"Where….where is it…." I murmur. In an attempt to relocate my body to try to see my baby. Our baby.

But my body disappoints me, I can barely even move my head.

The only way to know is to look up at Christian and that is exactly what I do.

I watch as his eyes fill with tears, a smile radiating across his face and his whole being glowing with pride.

I can feel my own eyes swelling with tears observing his reaction to our little blip.

But now, I'm ready to see my baby.

I want to see my baby.

Hearing it's little cries echo across the room.

Is it a boy?

Is it a girl?

"Congratulations Mr. Grey, Miss Steele….you have a beautiful and healthy…"

My heart skips a beat, the moment I've been waiting for.

The moment to know our beautiful and perfect baby is fine. The moment where I find out if we have a baby boy or a baby girl.

Suddenly, everything becomes black.

That was the last thing I remember, everything going black.

My mind shutting down completely.

Striving to stay awake but my body opposing against my brain.

I blacked out not even knowing the gender of my baby.

I can finally feel my body starting to work again.

Like my brain is now trying to wake me back up again.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

More awake I become and I can hear the faint beeping of a monitor beside me.

But, everything else is silent.

What happened?

Where am I?

I try to open my eyes but there's no luck yet.

I try with everything I have to at least move my fingers.

Thank goodness it worked.

Slowly I can feel myself coming back to the light.

A very bright light.

What is that?

I try to open my eyes again and when they finally do, I'm caused to flicker at the illumination of the light above my head.

Hospital lighting, why does it have to be so bright?

I flutter my eyelids again and again and my body regains consciousness.

I start to look around in hunt of Christian, in search of our baby. In search of any life around me feeling scared and alone.

I can feel my eyebrows furrow as my body hasn't quite fully awakened yet but then finally.

Finally, the figure I have fought to see.

The figure I have longed to see.

He looks so tired, sat there in a plain white T-shirt and black jeans.

He looks delightful. But in his arms.

In his arms, he's cradling the smallest little human and I feel my eyes start to water with tears.

"Ana…" He smiles brightly at me, relief caking his voice.

I'm awake.

"Is…I…" I uncontrollably start to sob making it hard to even get my words out.

His smile grows and he slowly and carefully stands with our little bundle fixed ever so gently in his arms.

"Our daughter" He whispers as if not to wake the baby.

He settles himself on the bed beside me.

The same mellowness and care I've observed him have with Teddy for all this time and now I'm seeing him show the same love and affection to our new addition to the family.

Our new baby.

A girl?

A daughter?

Our daughter.

Our baby girl.

I sob, even more, I can't help it.

I try to elevate myself up, eagerly trying to get a better look at her, but I grimace in pain as I try to do so.

"Take it easy" Christian kisses the top of my head before I rest back, comfortably against the pillow and he places our baby girl into my arms.

My tears flow freely down my cheeks.

How could I have gotten so lucky?

I gaze down at her.

She's so little, so perfect, so beautiful.

Dark hair covers the top of her head just like mine did when I was a baby.

Her tiny light hand still grasping Christian's pinky and he chuckles as he tries to remove it but she protests simply holding it tighter.

"Someone is already a Daddy's girl I see" I murmur smiling brightly as my joyful tears still continue to fall. We both laugh at my words.

"She's so much like you Ana," He says, so quaint and content. "She's barely cried, and I haven't put her down since the moment they put her into my arms"

"She's simply perfect. I love you" I whisper looking up at him, then back down to our little girl as she stirs in my arms.

"I love you, so much….I was so worried about you" He admits kissing the top of my head over and over. Prolonging each kiss and I can sense he's taking in my scent.

I sink further into his embrace as his arm tenderly caresses my waist, giving him the reassurance he needs to know that I'm okay.

I admit I feel like my entire body has been hit by a truck but it's all been worth it for what I have right here. Right now.

The pain, the worry, the everything. It's all been worth it.

Teddy, I wonder what Teddy will make of his new little sister.

"Has Teddy come to see her yet?" I ask as I gently stroke her petite little cheek, my lips curving upwards with adoration for her.

"Not yet, the Doctor said you needed to rest so It's just been the 3 of us for a couple of hours" He kisses my head again.

"I bet he can't wait"

"He's excited for sure, I called Dad to let him know and a very excitable little Teddy was eager to come and see his little sister" He laughs remembering the moment. "He's excited to read stories to her".

"He's such an adorable little boy, He'll be an amazing big brother"

"I think so too" He kisses my head. "Mom has been in the waiting room waiting for you to wake, she did come in to see her just for a moment and to check if you're okay. She's excited to be a grandma again"

"Is she still here?" I ask and Christian nods with a reply.

"I wanted it to be just us when you woke, so she didn't stay long. I didn't want anyone else to spend time with her before you woke. That's a moment for us to have before we share her around" His gentle hand glides through my hair and I get all emotional again as I lean up ever so slightly to place a small kiss against his lips.

I feel her small little body squirm within the blanket as she's laid in my arms.

We both look down at her and her beautiful shining eyes gaze up at us.

Her petite fist moving to her small perfectly formed lips as she sucks against her own skin.

"She's so perfect," Christian says as he strokes his fingers through her dark small tuft of hair.

Nodding in agreement, I giggle softly watching her in awe.

"She really is….she looks much like Teddy, much like you" I smile looking up at Christian.

"She's beautiful, just like her Mom" He kisses the top of my head.

She starts to make little noises as her bright loving eyes stare up at us.

"Hi, baby…." I whisper.

She wiggles a little more hearing my voice and it makes me laugh slightly.

Her drool covered fingers suddenly stretch up out of her blanket and relax against my chest.

My heart explodes, my whole entire being becomes overflowed with love and adoration.

Since meeting Teddy and Christian, I thought how could my life get any better?

Any better than finding my soul mate who came with the most adorable little boy that loved me beyond words and I, him.

But now, now that our family has grown I know now that this is the pinnacle moment.

Despite the pain, I feel from the last few hours, despite the worry and destruction over the last few months too. It's all been worth it.

Every single thing that has happened has led me to be in this moment right here, right now.

And I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

She makes a few more little noises and we're both in such awe of her that we don't even realize the nurse has walked in.

"Miss Steele….you're awake" She smiles kindly at me, pulling my gaze away from my baby girl.

"Please, Ana…." I return the smile and she nods gratefully.

"How are you feeling Ana?" She checks the monitor, taking note of my current readings.

"I'm simply perfect" I reply looking back down to the adorable little bundle in my arms.

"She's one of the most beautiful little things I've seen, she's been so good too. Also hasn't left her Daddy's arms the entire time" She teases smiling making Christian chuckle. "Are you in any pain at all? It'll take some time for your wounds to heal. The stitches should take a couple of weeks so just be careful"

"I am feeling a little pain but nothing too much right now, mainly when I move"

"I'll bring in some pain medication for you, is there anything else I can get for you? Some food? Drinks?"

"Thank you" I nod gratefully, "All would be amazing"

"Anything for you Mr. Grey?"

"A coffee would be great, thank you"

She nods smiling, gently propping my pillow up a little further for comfort.

"One more thing, will you be breast feeding or using formula? Now that you're awake, if you do decide to breast feed then any moment now would be a great opportunity to try that to allow you and the baby to get used to it. If you would like the formula, then I can get that ready for her too."

"I…uh…" I look up to Christian and he looks just as dumbfounded as I do.

"I'll leave you to talk and think it over, I'll be back with everything soon. And again, Congratulations"

We smile in appreciation as we watch her leave.

"What would you like to do?" Christian asks as he runs his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"I'm not sure….I've read about it all and I think breastfeeding is more beneficial for newborns. I'm just a little nervous about doing it"

"You'll be fine…" He kisses my head." Give it a try now".

I bite my lip nervously as I adjust myself.

I lift her closer to me as I carefully shift my hospital gown down my shoulder.

Christian's support means everything to me right now and as he starts to massage the bottom of my back to calm my nervous, our little bundle latches onto me like as if she had been doing it forever.

With a sigh of relief, I look up at Christian smiling brightly, "She did it".

"I never doubted it" He chuckles kissing me softly.

His lips against mine, feeling them curl into a smile as he does so.

It feels divine, it feels perfect.

I smile pecking his lips once more before glancing back down at her.

"So…we'll have to name her too," Christian says as he continues to stroke the bottom of my back soothingly.

"What do you think?" I stroke her head as her eyes close, continuing to feed contently.

"Hmm…. what were some of the names we discussed? What about Ella?"

"After my birth Mom? No…not a chance"

"Hmm…Rachel?"

"Too simple," He says and I giggle.

"I can't remember anything we discussed, so much has happened" I smile and the both of us gaze down at her.

"Phoebe…." As he says it, something triggers within us both.

Phoebe Grey.

I look up at him and I see the shine in his face. It's perfect.

"Phoebe" I nod in agreement.

"Hey there sweetheart, how do you like Phoebe?" Christian whispers as his pinky soothes against her tiny little knuckles.

She moves her little hand to grasp his finger making us both laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes" Christian chuckles more.

"Phoebe Grey" I repeat.

"Phoebe Grace Carla Grey," Christian says and suddenly, my eyes fill tears once again.

Simply perfect.

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So sorry for the wide length of time with no updates. Life has thrown storms at me and I simply haven't been able to write.

I hope this new update will trigger this story up again and hopefully get my readers back to liking and commenting and enjoying the storylines!

Please enjoy, and you'll hear from me again really soon :)


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter 73…

Finally, she's awake.

After all the distress and torment, everything leading up to this moment was entirely and wholly worth it.

From the moment I lay our baby girl into Ana's arms, I could see the love emitting from her. Her eyes shining with adoration and her smile sparkling so wide.

The same smile and love she provides Teddy.

As my hands attempt to soothe her body from the torment it's been through over the last few hours, I think back to everything.

The moment I first met her.

I knew, somehow I just knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but I was a fool for not making the move sooner.

But now as I gaze down at my soon to be wife, our newly born little blip…I know that this is everything I have ever wanted.

My heart is swollen with love, passion, and protection for my family now.

A family 10 years ago I never thought I'd have.

"So…we'll have to name her too," I say as I watch Ana feed our little girl.

"What do you think?" Ana's fingers gently glide across her soft dark hair. "Hmm…. what were some of the names we discussed? What about Ella?"

"After my birth Mom? No…not a chance" Not a chance in hell. I may have chosen to forgive her for everything she put me through, but there is no way I would name my daughter after her. I don't want to be haunted by my past anymore. The past is the past. It's gone and I'm done with it.

"Hmm…Rachel?"

"Too simple" I chuckle.

"I can't remember anything we discussed, so much has happened" We both gaze down at her as if she's going to tell us what name she wants.

Then suddenly, I remember a name.

I name we thought of just a couple of weeks ago.

"Phoebe…." I say it, something triggers within us both. I find myself smiling as I say it again.

Phoebe Grey.

"Phoebe" Ana then repeats it after and looks up at me with her blue eyes shining brightly.

"Hey there sweetheart, how do you like Phoebe?" I whisper as my pinky soothes against her tiny light knuckles.

She moves her little hand to clasp my finger making us both laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes" I grin proudly, chuckling more.

"Phoebe Grey" Ana whispers again.

"Phoebe Grace Carla Grey," I say just as a thought and suddenly, when I look down at Ana her eyes are once again filled with tears.

A perfect name for our perfect girl.

Phoebe releases from Ana just in time when the nurse returns with Ana's pain medication and lunch.

"Wow, you seem to be a natural" The nurse beams walking in just in time for Phoebe unlatching. "I see you too the breastfeeding route, good choice" She smiles and I kiss the top of Ana's head showing my pride for her too.

"She took it so easily too, I admit I was a little nervous" Ana says shyly.

The nurse nods in understanding, "That's normal, but the most important now is that she did".

We both nod in agreement before Ana lifts her hospital gown back up over her shoulder to cover herself up.

"So here's your pain medication with some water" The nurse hands those to Ana first which she takes easily. "And for lunch, I brought mashed potatoes, some turkey, stuffing, sweetcorn…kind of like a mini Thanksgiving dinner"

"That's amazing, thank you so much" Ana replies gratefully.

"Do you want me to take her while you eat?"

"Yes please"

I carefully lift little Phoebe into my arms, making sure the blanket is still fully encased around her keeping her warm and cozy as I place her against my chest, kissing the top of her head.

"I also brought your coffee, Mr. Grey. If there's anything else you need, don't hesitate to call for me"

"Thank you so much, I really appreciate it," Ana says just before delving into her food. She must be starving.

I still love watching her eat.

"Thank you" I reply before the nurse leaves the room.

I settle down into the comfy chair beside Ana's bed.

"How's the food?" I ask with a grin watching her pretty much devour the entire plate.

"Mmm…good" She laughs softly.

I lift my phone from my pocket, careful not to stir Phoebe awake and to no surprise, there's message after message asking how Ana is, how the baby is, and when can they come to visit.

The main one being from my Dad with a message from Teddy saying he can't wait to have Mommy and Daddy cuddles and to see his new baby sister.

I'm so eager for him to come and see her.

He's going to be the most astounding big brother.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"I'm feeling okay, a little tired" She admits.

"How do you feel about visitors today? Don't feel obliged to do anything, it's entirely up to you"

"I think that'll be nice, maybe for not too long, but long enough everyone gets to see her" She smiles contently, carefully moving the lunch table away so she can lay back down comfortably.

"Maybe just our parents and Teddy for today?"

"Perfect" She smiles, "I'll nap before they arrive, just wake me when they get here".

I chuckle nodding, "Rest baby, I'll wake you soon. I love you".

"I love you more".

My hand tenderly caresses Phoebe's back as I watch Ana drift into a graceful sleep.

Firstly, I text my Mom knowing she's still in the hospital somewhere.

'Hey Mom, Ana woke, shes just resting again now before you can all come and see your granddaughter'

Then, I call my Dad's cell. I'm desperate to talk to my little man too.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Daddy?"

"Hey buddy, how's my boy?"

"Daddy Yayyy! I'm goods! Is Mommy Okay? Is my sister okay? Cans I come and see them now?"

I laugh at his words.

He's so excited and I'm glad I can finally tell him yes.

"Mommy is sleeping, and your sister is ready for her big brother cuddles now. Grandpa is going to bring you up to the hospital to see them okay?"

"Yaaaayyyyyyyy!" He squeals excitedly making me chuckle.

"I'll see you soon buddy, Daddy loves you"

"Loves you, Daddy".

"Can you put Grandpa on buddy?"

"Mhmm…" I hear him run off somewhere yelling for my father, "Grandpa! It's Daddy! We can go see my sister now!".

I hear my father laugh in the background.

"Hey Christian"

" Hey Dad, Ana's just napping but if you can bring Teddy up soon we'd like to introduce him to his new little sister first and then we'll have you, Mom, Carla and Ray come in a little later if that's okay? "

"Of course Christian, I can't wait to meet her. Teddy has been like an exploding soda, he hasn't stopped with excitement. I was just making him some lunch and we'll come right up"

I laugh hearing about Teddy, imaging him now.

"Great! We'll see you soon! Thanks again Dad"

"No problem son."

I hang up before dialing Ray.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ray, It's Christian"

"Oh Christian! How is everything? How's Ana?" He asks with a slightly worried tone.

"She's completely fine, she's just resting right now….but we were wondering you and Carla would like to come and visit your granddaughter today?" I grin, releasing the granddaughter bombshell.

"G…Granddaughter?…we have a granddaughter?" He sniffles happily.

"You do…" I smile brightly at his reaction and I can hear him move the phone away from his ear as he calls out to Carla.

"Carla! They had a girl…we've got a granddaughter"

"Oh my goodness!" I hear her react and it makes me chuckle a little more at how happy everyone is.

But honestly, no one is as happy as I am right now.

I look down at my elegant little phoebe placed contently against my chest.

"When can we come up?" Ray asks pulling me from my gaze.

"Ana is just having a little rest now, we'd like Teddy to have some time with her first, but anytime within the next 2 hours or so…My parents are coming too, so we'll have Teddy spend some time with her and then, you guys and my parents can come in just a little later if that's okay? It'll be nice to have us all here"

"Perfect, we'll see you all really soon"

"Great!"

"Thanks, Christian"

I smile at his words before he hangs up.

I now have the last 30 minutes or so with just the 3 of us.

I take every moment to hole Phoebe knowing that as soon as the calvary arrives I'll barely get my hand in.

Especially with Teddy, I think. I chuckle at the thought.

I wake Ana 20 minutes later ready for when everyone arrives and I lay a still sleeping Phoebe back into her arms.

Exactly 20 minutes later there's a knock at the door.

The door opens and I can see my Dad's reflection in the window.

It's Teddy.

I'm so excited to see my boy.

When the door opens Teddy is standing there eagerly with a big bright beaming grin on his face. A present in one hand and a balloon with 'It's a girl' in the other.

"Mommy! Daddy!" He hastens inside and my Dad closes the door behind Teddy to allow the 4 of us to have our family time together.

I'm so excited to introduce him to Phoebe.

He'll be the best big brother, I just know it.

"There's our baby boy," Ana says enthusiastically as he rushes straight to her bedside.

"Mommy! Looks what I picked for my sister!" He shakes the balloon proudly and places the present alongside Ana's body.

"Wow, you chose those? Oh my goodness I bet she's going to love them!" Ana giggles smiling brightly at his enthusiasm.

"Hey buddy, come here…." I say and he runs right around the bed and into my arms.

I swing him up against my chest tickling his sides making him squeal and laugh with delight.

"You ready to see your sister?" I kiss his cheek and he nods eagerly.

I smile sitting down at Ana's side on the bed.

Ana shuffles slightly allowing Teddy a better look and removes her blanket slightly so she's more visible. Teddy leans over and as soon as he sees her, he takes the biggest gasp.

His eyes are bright with excitement.

"That's my sister?"

"Yes, sweetheart" Ana giggles laughing.

"Can I hold her?" He looks at Ana smiling brightly and she nods willingly.

Shifting a little further onto the bed so Teddy can sit beside her.

He makes himself comfortable and holds his arms up eagerly awaiting his little sister.

We both laugh at his eagerness but I feel such pride at how much he clearly loves her already.

"Careful of her head okay?"

"Okays" He nods smiling as Ana places her into his arms.

Ana still supporting underneath her until Teddy gets used to it.

He smiles down at her and makes a little giggle.

"She's wriggling Mommy"

Ana laughs nodding.

"That's because she knows it's someone knew holding her…maybe she'll wake up to see her big brother huh?"

He nods enthusiastically and then looks up at me with a beaming grin.

Taking out my phone I snap a few pictures of the 3 of them together. A moment I never want to forget.

Teddy looks back down at her with the same cheeky grin.

"Daddy! Look she opening her eyes!"

Phoebe wriggles, her little fists wave in the air stretching out. Ana still helping to support her as she does so.

Then, her eyes fully open. Gazing up at her big brother as she sucks lightly on her fist.

"She's pretty Mommy"

"Yeah baby" Ana kisses Teddy's cheek. I can see her heart swelling with pride just as mine is watching our growing family.

"Does she have a name, Mommy?"

"She does" Ana grins and looks up at me.

I chuckle and I sit down in front of them.

"Phoebe…"

"Phoebe?" Teddy questions.

"Mhmm…Phoebe Grey"

He giggles at that and nods.

"Pretty name for a pretty sister" He leans down placing a small kiss to the top of her forehead and her tiny little hand coming out of her blanket and touches his face.

Her drool covered fist, might I add.

Ana and I both look at each other, then back at Teddy waiting for his reaction to the drool now covering his cheek.

"Ewww…" He giggles to himself causing Ana and me to laugh too.

The 4 of us now, all together.

Smiling.

Happy.

Laughing.

Content.

Everything I've ever wanted.

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